wounded heart give life to the dead heart give the grace of faith unto the doubting heart and of hope unto the despairing heart speak peace O Lord unto the disconsolated and afflicted heart give understanding memory sence and reason unto the distracted heart and those amongst them whom thou dost intend O Lord and hast appointed to take unto thy self let them see thine arms of love in mercy open and ready to receive them let them hear O Lord thy sweet and comfortable voyce speaking peace unto their fouls and saying Sons and Daughters be of good cheer your sins are forgiven you wash them O Lord with thy most dear and most pretious blood and sanctifie them with thy holy spirit of grace that they may appear spotless and unblameable before thee whiter then Snow purer then Wooll finer the Gold and brighter then the Sun and make them O Lord more then Conquerors and those O Lord whom thou dost intend to restore unto their former health and strength give them grace to lead new lives and to become new Creatures that others seeing their good works may glorifie thee O God our Heavenly Father in Jesus Christ. Ah Lord God look with much mercy I humbly beseech thee upon all those every where that suffer for the peace of a good Conscience because they will not sin against thy truth keep them O Lord as the apple of thine eye that nothing come nigh to hurt them nor to affright them let them depend on thy mercyes fear thy judgments and lay hold on thy gratious promises give them O Lord courage and strength to fight that good fight and to run that good race that thou hast set before them that they may be alwayes willing and ready to give up their lives unto the death and then from thee O Lord they may receive the Crown of Eternal life And those O Lord that suffer for an evil Conscience because they have sinned against thy truth let them not alwayes mourn as men and women without hope but poure down O Lord in much love and mercy poure down thy holy and blessed spirit the Comforter into their hearts that may speak peace unto their souls even that peace that passeth all understanding let not the Mountains of their sins O Lord nor the Rocks of unbelief hinder thy mercyes from coming down out of Heaven into their Hearts nor their prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith but cause them O Lord to know that thou art a God pardoning all iniquities transgressions and sins yea all Blasphemyes wherewith they have blasphemed Ah Lord shew them the light of thy gratious and glorious Countenance and lead them in the way everlasting that they may never more swerve nor goe astray from thy Divine and holy Commandements Bless O Lord all that are travelling by Sea or by land and bring them to their Ports and places in safety defend them from all Pyrats and Robbers that seek to do them hurt or wrong and from all other perils and dangers pitch thy tents O Lord round about them and keep them even as thou keepest thine own And lastly O Lord I most humbly and heartily beg and beseech thee in Jesus Christ to pardon and forgive all mine Enemies all the world over love them O Lord that hate me bless them that curse me do good to them that seek to do me evil forget and forgive all that they have done or would have done against me change their hearts from evil unto good that they may no longer walk after the deceitfulness of their own evil hearts but may do all things for the time to come in truth and sincerity according to thine own heart O Lord God that thou mayest own them for thy own and give them hearts O Lord to forgive me whom I have wronged whether it have been in thought word or deed either unto high or low rich or poor young or old and grant O Lord that I may fear and do so no more but as thou hast been unto me a sin-pardoning God so I beseech thee be unto me a sin-preventing God that I may not as the Dog return to his Vomit nor as the Sow to her wallowing in the mire againe but that I may alwayes henceforth set thee O Lord before mine eyes and be attent unto the motions of thy holy spirit and never to forget thy exceeding boundful and mercyful dealings towards me and that love in Jesus Christ wherewith thou hast loved me and that I may remember that it is impossible for those who were once enlightned and have tasted of the Heavenly gift and were made partakers of the Holy-Ghost and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the world to come if they shall fall away to renew them again unto Repentance seeing they Crucifie to themselves the Son of God afresh and put him to open shame for if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledg of the truth there remaineth no more sacrifice for sin but a certain fearfull looking for of Judgment and fiery indignation which shall devour the adversaries for having Lord by thy grace and mercy escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledg of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ grant that I may not again be intangled therein and overcome and so my latter end prove worse if worse it can be then was my beginning Ah Lord God should such be my case which God forbid it would be much better for me that I had never known the way of Righteousness then after the knowledg of it to turn from thy holy Commandements delivered unto me Ah Lord God my Lord and my God in Jesus Christ thou knowest my weakness frailty and impotency that I cannot of my self as of my self think a good thought that I am prone to all evil and averse to all good to will indeed is many times present but how to perform I know not there is still O Lord God a law in my members warring against the law of my mind and leading me Captive into the law of sin Ah Lord when when O Lord when shall that time come and that blessed most blessed and glorious day dawn and appear in my heart that the root and branch of sin be totally rooted up and utterly destroyed and grace confirmed grow up more and more until I come to be a perfect man in Christ Jesus that I may still more and more hate the evil which I do and love the good which I do not and cannot do that it may be no longer I that sin but sin that dwelleth in me and that by the assistance of thy grace and holy spirit I may walk well pleasing before thee doing thy work and thy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven living the life of grace here and of glory hereafter the life of the Righteous that I may dye their death Ah Lord give thy self to me that I may give my self to thee live in me
Psalms and Hymns and spiritual Songs singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord and whatsoever ye do in word and deed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God and the Father by him so then when Christ who is our life shall appear then shall ye also appear with him in glory 211. These are and I trust through Gods free grace in Jesus Christ shall ever be the longings and desires of the soul of my soul and the heart of my heart for all you that shall read it and for all the Israel of our God and I hope and shall pray the Lord in the infinitnesse of his goodnesse to supply all my defects with the teachings and comforts of his own spirit who is the only teacher guider leader and Comforter Ah seek him then whil'st he may be found and God I hope will give him thee 212. Now the peace of God which passeth all understanding keep your hearts and minds in the knowledg and love of God and of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord and the blessing of God Almighty the Father the Son and the Holy Ghost be with you and dwell in your hearts abundantly to the praise and glory of his holy name the good of others and the comfort of your own souls Now henceforth and for ever more Amen 213. I had much rather be the poorest in the world even a Job or a Lazarus O Lord for thy sake then the richest of the world yea then to have all the world for my own sake 214. For I have all that I would have when I have all that thou O Lord my God wilt have me to have 215. I esteem all even as nothing at all if it come not O Lord from thee all 216. Alas alas what and how much nothing is this worlds all if we have not Christs all that is all Christ. 217. Let me then O my sweet Jesus have all that thou hast and I will not care whether I have any thing at all of all that the world hath 218. He that hath Christ for his Christ is heir of all things and sure of all things but he that hath him not is heir of nothing but what is worth nothing and can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing and therefore all that he is sure of is surely nothing but a very nothing 219. For what man hath to day to morrow flyes away 220. Ah Lord my Lord give me I most humbly beseech thee that which will endure for ever and not that which perisheth ever 221. That O Lord that which cannot be destroyed and not that O Lord not that which will destroy me unlesse it be destroyed by thee 222. Give me first O Lord give me first a heart according to thine own heart and then I am sure I shall use the world not as I would but as thou wilt 223. Were I as certain to goe to Hell which God forbid as I am certain through the merits of Jesus Christ to goe to Heaven I would whil'st I should be on earth walk in the wayes to Heaven and never goe out of them till God had cast me into Hell 224. O Lord that knowest all things thou knowest O Lord God thou knowest how I love thy Lawes and how I delight to walk in thy ways and to keep thy Commandments with my whole heart faithfully thou knowest O Lord is all the delight and joy of my heart yea my hearts only joy and delight 225. Blessed be God though I have many years tasted fed on and lived in the pleasures of sin and but few years in the sweet delights and pleasures of grace yet I am well content and willing to lose to cast off and utterly and for ever to forsake all sins sweets for graces bitter all sins robes for graces raggs and all sins pleasures and honour for Christs dishonour for I am now henceforth resolved to be Christs Servant ever and sins never Ah never never 226. Blessings are in the mouth and they proceed from the heart of him that feareth the Lord. 227. But curses come from him that knoweth him not 228. He that is Wise in his own Conceit is a Fool. 229. The Righteous man blesseth and is never weary so doing But the wicked curseth and is alwayes empty as Hell 230. Shame shall fall on him that wisheth mischief to his Neighbour without a cause 231. But glory and honour shall be the Portion of him that loveth him 232. If thine Enemy sin rebuke him but let not thy countenance goe along with him 233. He that feareth the Lord no evil shall befall him for he is kept safe 234. Wisdome glory and honour is the Portion of him that waiteth at his Gates 235. Behold him that loveth the Lord and thou shalt see all his works to prosper 236. Regard not the evil of affliction on him that submitteth himself thereunto for it shall prove the joy of his heart 237. Gladnesse is alwayes in the heart of him that loveth Righteousness because he feareth alwayes 238. As hony is to the tast so is holiness to him that loveth Righteousnes 239. Dwell in peace and Gods love shall abide with thee 240. Be watchful over all thy ways so shall all thy doings prosper 241. Glad the heart of the mourner and thou shalt anoynt him with sweet oyle 242. Rejoyce thou in the day of affliction and let thy heart be merry for the Lord hath heard thy vows 243. Give thy self up to learn his wisdome and refuse not his teachings when they come upon thee 244. Bind them upon thy shoulders lean upon them with thy whole might and they shall support thee 245. Grieve not the spirit of thy God who delighteth in thee 246. Give thy heart to know him so shalt thou be filled with his praises 247. Learn his ways and goe not out of his paths for the delighteth to delight thee 248. Ah love him with thy whole heart and mind that all thy days may be the days of joy and gladnesse 249. Whereever the Lord is there is bountyfulnesse and peace that passeth all understanding 250. Leane upon him and he shall support thee give up all thine all that is thy care unto him and he shall provide for thee things that shall never fail 251. He that hath him hath life and shall never see death 252. Wilt thou be merry give him thine heart let him direct it and follow him wheresoever he leadeth thee 253. His wayes are wayes of pleasure and his paths bring home to live with himself 254. Joy is in his Gates and no mourners come nigh him 255. He filleth the empty he watereth the dry and thirsty ground there is no want vvhere he raigneth 256. Rejoyce then in the day of thy trouble and let thy heart be merry for he heareth all thy groanings and will compassionate thy bewailings 257. Let him alone strive not for all thy doings without him are as the puff of a winde which is
thy Soul that God censure thee not for it but convince thee and convert thee even as if thou wert a part of my very self and as if my well being did consist in thy well being for be thou what ever thou art though I hate thy sin and be offended at it yet I truly and in all faithfulness love thy self and thy Soul and would with my heart that it go so well with thee as it doth through the free Grace Love and Mercy of God in Jesus Christ with me And I shall continue to contend with God in the behalf of thy Soul ann the pardon of thy sins as for my own I know what it is to be a great sinner and I also know through the infinite and incomprehensible Love of God what it is to be washed cleansed pardoned justified sanctified and saved from all sin and to be in Christ without spot or wrinckle undefiled And therefore I cannot in humility I speak it but as God love all Souls with true and unfeigned Love heartily praying and desiring that none might perish but that all might come to partake of everlasting life to enjoy for ever those heart and Soul ravishing joyes that God hath prepared and laid up for all those that truly love him I intend not to speak anything touching the method nor to crave the excuse of any for any thing that may not savour with them I know from whom I have received it and he I am sure will patronize and protect it and blesse it in some measure I hope unto all that shall read it but whatever successe it find I shall find I am sure all that I seek for which is peace within during this life and honour glory and immortality in the World to come which good Lord grant for Christ his sake unto all those that love thee and wait for thine appearing And thus dear hearts I leave you to the guidance of the good Spirit of the Lord to direct you in all your thoughts and words that they and all your actions as well as mine may be now and alwaies acceptable in his sight who is our strength and our Redeemer to him who is able to keep you from the hour of temptation and to preserve you blamelesse until the hour of his coming I commit and commend you Remaining In London Anno 1654. IN the Name of the most Holy Glorious and Blessed Trinity God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Ghost one God blessed for ever to whom be given and ascribed as all due is and to none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving by me and by the whole world of his Elect Now and for ever more Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it THomas Arundell the poorest vilest basest and most unworthiest of all the servants of the living God altogether unworthy of that most Worthy Glorious and Right Honourable Title but trusting on his mercy and Free Grace to be made worthy through the merits and worthiness of Jesus Christ and in him to be accounted worthy Doth in all humility of heart most humbly beg and implore his Divine Majesty in Jesus Christ to inspire bless and assist him with his holy Spirit that he may here following set down only the sincere breathings and longings of his soul in truth and sincerity of heart and that he may grow daily from one degree of grace unto another from step to step untill he come to that height and fulness of measure of holiness appointed by God in Jesus Christ who is the fountain the Ocean and the fulness of all happiness and blessedness being God equal with the Father Blessed for ever and ever A Prayer O Most Holy most Glorious Eternal Incomprehensible Lord God full of Grace and Truth Maker and Giver of all things both in heaven and in earth from all eternity unto all eternity thou art and there is none besides thee God blessed for ever and ever Thou givest O Lord freely fully and continually and art never weary nor repentest all our springs are in thee and from thee thou canst not increase nor diminish whatever is done for or against thee Ah Lord my God give me so much of thy self as I may be like unto thee in all things by grace here and in glory hereafter that I may stedfastly faithfully heedfully carefully and circumspectly do thy whole and holy will on earth untill I come to glorifie thy Name in heaven O Lord conform my will unto thy most holy and most blessed will that I may serve and please thee by all my thoughts words and actions not turning a side to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Let thy most holy and most blessed Spirit teach me lead me guide me and so direct and govern me that the thoughts of my heart the words of my mouth and the works of my hands may be now and alwaies acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and my Redeemer O Lord that searchest all hearts and triest the reins pondering all our actions be pleased in Jesus Christ to look down upon me poor vile sinfull dust and ashes the greatest of sinners and the very worst of the worst of men and for his sake wash away all my iniquities and purge me from all my sins and my transgressions known or unknown secret or revealed past present and to come and for the merits of that most dear and pretious blood of thy dear and only Son which was I believe shed for me on the Cross. O Lord grant that I may appear blamelesse and spotlesse before thy throne of Grace and Justice at all times when I come before thee that thou maiest have delight in me and in all the works of my hands and maiest according to thy good promise graciously hear and answer my petitions and requests which I most humbly and unfeignedly desire may be framed in my heart by thy holy Spirit that they may be according to thy holy mind and will and finde acceptation through the mediation and merits of thy dear only and beloved Son Jesus Christ the Righteous And grant O most mercifull and loving Father in Jesus Christ my Redeemer that I may set down from time to time the only Dictates of thy holy and most blessed Spirit unto my poor soul not any head notions but my very hearts frame and only desires and motions that they may both then and ever after refresh rejoyce glad and comfort me and cause me to bring forth fruit to newness and amendment of life for the honour and glory of thy great Name and grant that I may ever renounce all merit or worthiness in my self for the very least of all thy mercies no not for the crumbs that fall by thy providence from the childrens table Sure I am the more light I have from thee O Lord my God I shall the better and clearer see my own darknesse the more I have of thy wisdom the better I
be Ignominious all my days and honour my God alwayes then be honourable all my days and dishonour my God but one day 15. Of all afflictions O God my God let not sin be my affliction afflict me not with sin for sin 16. A wounded heart a heart wounded with sin who can bear 17. What burthen so intolerable heavy as the burthen of one sin only if the Lord lift it not up with one of his fingers 18. I ask nothing in Heaven or Earth but God in Christ. 19. God in Christ is all things for all things out of Christ is to me nothing he is my joy and my Salvation 20. I had much rather me thinks be ever afflicted then never afflicted whilst on earth 21. Though by thy free grace O God thou hast in love and mercy brought me home unto thee yet thou hast used affliction as the means therefore do I love and kiss the Rod because thou hast appointed it 22. I love affliction because it was the hand by which thou did'st O God lead me out of affliction that is out of sin 23. I love affliction because by it thou hast taught me to love thee yea so to love thee as I love nothing in comparison of thee but all things in subordination to thee 24. I love affliction because in it I saw thee in me and my self in thee 25. I love affliction because by it I saw that thou did'st love me 26. I love affliction because it taught me to love thy Statutes to choose them imbrace them and delight in them 27. And I will love affliction because it will keep me in the ways of thy Statutes 28. I love afflictions because they are lovely and sent from thee the God of Love to me in Love 29. I Love afflictions because thou hast sanctified them to me and me by them 30. I love affliction because since that I was deeply afflicted for sins I have not been afflicted with sins triumph nor raign 31. I love afflictions because thou hast made them O God unto me Lovely 32. I love afflictions because thou hast ever sweetned them unto me by Sanctification 33. I love afflictions because by them thou hast taught me how to bear afflictions 34. I love afflictions because by them thou hast taught me how to afflict my self that is my flesh for sins afflictions 35. O my God give me what afflictions thou wilt so by them thou suffer me not to afflict thee who I know never took'st pleasure to afflict me 36. If I had not known afflictions me thinks I had never sought to learn to know thee nor thy knowledge 37. If I had not been undone I may justly fear I had been for ever undone 38. Give me O Lord as many sanctified afflictions as thou pleasest for then in the mid'st of them I am sure I shall please thee 39. O Lord suffer not any affliction to afflict me with murmurings or repynings which I am sure will afflict thee 40. I desire ever to praise thee O Lord for that I never had affliction in the flesh to my remembrance but it brought me comfort in the Spirit 41. So that I may say through grace my afflictions have been my best and choisest benedictions 42. So esteeming them give me O Lord this grace to esteem them as tokens and signs of grace 43. O Lord make me ever thankfull for all these thy afflictions which deserve so much thanks 44. O Lord I heartily thank thee for that thou hast made my heart such as it doth truly thank thee for them 45. Give me grace O Lord to will thy will and to submit to all thy Wills Will. 46. Ah Lord give me grace to know thy will and a will to learn to know thy grace 47. Thy glory is my gloryes end thy end is my gloryes aime 48. I desire no other honour O Lord then to have the honour to be thy Servant 49. I will rejoyce in any Condition so I may be in the Condition of thy Servant 50. O Lord I am willing to do any work so it may be thy work 51. Thy glory O Lord is my only longing my only joy delight desire aime and end 52. O Lord let me never be ashamed to do thy work though never so mean in the eies of men let it be alwayes beautifull honourable and glorious to my eies heart will and affections 53. Give me Christ O God on any terms and conditions and I will confess them to be honourable terms and conditions advantagious and glorious 54. I had much rather have Communion with Christ in a dungeon then be adorned and ever possess all Solomons outward glory in a Palace 55. Communion with Christ will I am sure make me content in all places and conditions 56. In Christ I am sure there is fulness of joy and all true peace and comfort though without any of all the worlds comforts 57. In Christ there is all pleasure though in the worlds frowns disgrace and displeasures 58. In Christ there is true light though in the worlds dark Dungeons 59. Thy smiles O Christ my Christ are my Heaven and thy frowns let me never know for I fear them as the worst of Hell 60. Let me enjoy that Heaven and I care not for all other Hells 61. Ah sweet Jesus let thy will be my will that my will may be always according to thy will 62. Let nothing O Lord satisfie me but my assurance of being in thee and thou in me 63. Let me always O Lord meditate on thy love and mercyes in loving me 64. Ah suffer not any thing in this world of this world to content or delight me unless thou be in it my sweet Iesus 65. O Lord grant that as often as I do sin I may sigh and sorrow for sin and earnestly desire to sin no more 66. Grant that I may set all my affections and love on thee my dear Saviour and Soveraigne Lord who art the Fathers glory the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 67. Grant O Lord who art my God and all my good that in all Conditions I may abundantly rejoyce with true contentment and not at all to murmur or repine at thy hand though heavy on me 68. Ah Lord be thou always all my thoughts all my joy and the only and all the rejoycing of my heart 69. Grant that I may always love thee O my Lord more then my life yea then the life that is the Salvation of my Soul 70. Grant O Lord that I may not so much by much labour for the joyes of Heaven to my self as to do thy will on earth in love only to thy self 71. Grant O Lord that all my solace may be in uprightness of heart to serve thee 72. O Lord give me grace that whilst I am on earth I may labour to do thy will with my whole will as it is done in Heaven 73. Grant O Lord that I may every day yet all the day long have Communion with thee the Spirit
thou did'st was not for thy advantage but for mine not for thy good but for mine not for thy honour but for mine not for thy glory but to bring me to glory and all this thou did'st looking for nothing againe thou lovest me only because thou would'st love me Ah height length depth and breadth of love that an offended God should sue and wooe and pray and pay and promise and give and dye and live to reconcile inrich honour magnifie and exalt offending man poore despicable man vile wretched worthless man nothing man that can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing less then the drop of a bucket or the dust of the ballance O Lord let these thy wonders of mercyes and wonderfull compassions cause me ever to admire and adore thy love and kindness thy kinde love thy goodness and thy greatness and to cry out Lord what is man that thou art so mindfull of him and the Son of man that thou so regardest him as to visit him to magnifie him to dwell in him to delight in him to make him thy delight to set thy heart upon him to do him good even according to all the good that is in thy heart having prepared for him a Kingdome which cannot be shaken a Kingdome of Glory an Eternall and incomprehensible weight of glory where is joy all joy unspeakable joy and Rivers of pleasures for ever more where is no night but all is day yea the Lord himself is the light thereof where is no grief nor sorrow nor care nor feare but all teares shall be wiped away and there shall be no more sorrow nor sighing but all joyes and singing of praises and Hallelujahs with the Angels and Saints beholding the Lord of glory yea the glory of the Lord seeing him face to face as he is and knowing him as he is to be known there is no Canaanite in that Heavenly Country no Cain to kill no Sodomite to vex no Ishmaelite to scoff no Esau to terrifie no Shimei to curse no Herod to persecute no Rabsheketh to raile no Judas to betray this Heaven is above all Molestations and perturbations and not for tearm of years but for ever Ah most holy most great and most glorious Lord God bring me I most humbly beseech thee in thine own good due and appointed time that I may behold thy beauty and thy glory and the light of thy right blessed and most blessed and glorious countenance which may by the bright Aspect shining on me cause me likewise to shine more brighter then the Sun and my soul and body together to be made perfect pure and holy as thou O God art though not so holily pure and perfect and that both being enlightened with thy heavenly wisdome may be made to know the stability thereof and be assured of thine Eternal and everlasting love and living in me for ever and for ever Grant these things O my God and my Father in Jesus Christ and what ever else thou knowest to be needfull or expedient for me both for soul and body and all for the merits of thy Son and my Saviour thy Christ and my Jesus for whom my soul shall ever bless and praise thee as the Lord my Righteousness and to whom with thy glorious Majesty and holy spirit of grace the Comforter and the Sanctifier be given by me and by all thine as all due is and to none else honour glory power might Majesty dominion and thanksgiving now and for ever more Amen 1. Contentment though in Poverty is the best the surest and the greatest riches 2. Let me not set thee a time O my God but wait on thee for all things in thy time 3. And when thy time shall come to send me forth let me run and not grow weary and walk and never faint 4. Send me O Lord whither thou wilt and to do what thou wilt I am willing to goe and be and do what ever thou shalt command though to spend and to be spent for thee 5. And wheresoever O Lord thou shalt place me I shall not account it my abiding place no longer then it shall be thy pleasure that I there abide 6. Being with thee my God where ever it be I shall be I am sure where I would be 7. And being in thee my Saviour and thou in me my condition I am sure will well please and content me what ever it be 8. Ah Lord who would or who should desire to live here in the flesh being he cannot live and not sin it is not subject to thy Law neither indeed can be 9. And who would not or should not be willing to dye to kill sin that sin might dye and be destroyed for ever totally 10. Yet I am content to live though I do sin thy grace O my God being sufficient for me 11. I had rather be on earth for thy sake and to do thy will then to be in Heaven for my own sake only and only to have my own will 12. For is it not to be in Heaven even to do thy will on earth as it is done in Heaven it is a Heaven on this side Heaven an earthly Heaven or a Heaven on earth which good Lord give and grant me untill thou givest me what thou hast promised me which is thy blessed self in Heaven who art the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 13. Where then soever when and how long soever I live or dye I shall through thy good grace live and dye contented and most joyfully 14. How willingly how willingly Lord would I leave this world and all the things in it if they were all mine to live with thee for I know thee O Lord I know thee and for which I most heartily thank thee that thou art much better then all things yea all things compared to thee are nothing and all things out of thee that is without thee can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing 15. And yet Lord thou knowest how willing I am to live in this world to live for thee 16. Thou knowest O Lord how much more willing I am to dye then to live and yet Lord thou knowest how I strive to live that I may not dye 17. Give me grace O my God so to live as I may dye daily and to dye daily that I may ever live 18. Let me so live as I may live ever Let me so dye as that I die never Let me dye but once that I live for ever Let me die that once that I die never 19. Come then O Christ and set me free That I may goe and live with thee Then shalt thou be unto me gaine And free me from Eternall paine 20. When I do any thing that is good it is against the will of the flesh and when I do any thing that is evil it is against the will of the spirit 21. To will good is many times present with me but how to performe it I know not at any time how of my self but
therefore knowest well how my heart and my soul panteth for thee longeth for thee coveteth for thee and most ambitiously hungreth and thirsteth after thee Ah Lord when shall that blessed time be and the day come that I shall be altogether emptyed of my own emptyness and filled with thy fulness be stript of my own raggs and cloathed with thy glorious robes be found out of my self in thee and be made partaker of thine own holy and Divine nature which is perfection and glory in glory yea perfect glory then shall I be no more mine own but thine own yea thine all so that all that I shall do shall please thee well and be right well pleasing unto thee for then I shall no longer do the evil which I would not and which I love but the good which I would and which I love yea the good and all the good that thou O God wilt and which thou lovest it shall not then be present with me only to will but to do also even all thy holy and whole and perfect will I shall then no longer desire to be stript of any thing that is in me because O God my God thou shalt be all in me and only in me then and there I shall no longer mourn for my unholiness nor pray for more blssedness but all tears fears and cares shall be all done away my unworthiness here shall through thy worthiness O sweet Jesus be accounted worthy my unrighteousness righteous my disobedience obedience and my imperfection perfect full and entire perfection through that ever blessed most blessed and only and all blessed perfection that is in thee who art God blessed for ever and ever Ah who would not then for a while feed on crums that he may eat of this bread and at last sup at this feast Ah who would not who would not be content to hunger a while to be brought to this banquet of heavenly daintie who would not Ah who would not be content for a little space to sit groveling on the ground and be covered with dust and ashes that he may at last sit at this Table who would not Ah who would not stay a while without with patience being assured at last yea and ere long to be brought in into the brides Chamber Ah who would not who would not be poor for a while to be made thus rich for ever Ah who would not who would not be content to be contemptible for a little space to be thus honoured and made truly honourable for ever Ah who would not who would not be right well content to be banisht for a while to be thus brought home in triumph gloriously to abide in his Fathers house for ever who would not Ah who would not be well content and rejoyce to be a stranger and a Pilgrim for a little while in a strange land to have such a possession for ever who would not Ah who is there that would not be in a storme for a while to enjoy for ever such a calme who would not who would not want the delicasies of Egypt forfa while to have the delicacyes of Heaven for ever who would not Ah who is there that would not refuse to be called the Son of Pharaohs Daughter for a while to be the Son of the Eternall living loving blessed God for ever and for ever Ah who would not who would not willingly and cheerfully suffer with the Children of God for a while for a little space to raigne with the Children of God for ever who would not Ah who would not willingly be cloathed with raggs for a while to ware for ever such glorious robes who would not Ah who is he that would not be Crowned with Throns for a moment to be Crowned with such a Crown of glory for ever Ah who would not who would not bear the Cross here till death that he may for ever ware the Crown of immortall life Ah who would not who would not suffer with Christ here to raigne with Christ for ever hereafter Ah who would not who would not be despised among men to be cherished among Angels Ah who would not vvho vvould not suffer as Lazarus did to raigne as Lazarus doth Ah vvho vvould not who would not suffer as a member of Christs mysticall body here to be member of his glorious body for ever hereafter Ah vvho vvould not vvho vvould not live the life of the righteous here to live for ever and ever with the righteous hereafter not in the bosome of Abraham but in the bosome of Abrahams Isaacs and Jacobs God In the meane time O Lord give me grace courage and strength to run that good race to fight that good fight that thou hast set before me perseveringly unto the end that I may as vvillingly vvare the Crovvn of Thorns here for thy sake as the Crown of glory here after for my ovvn sake that I may be as willingly under temptation here as to be freed from temptation hereafter that for thy sake O Lord I may as vvillingly be contemptable here as honourable hereafter that I may as vvillingly suffer O Lord for thee here as raigne vvith thee hereafter and that in all sufferings my only joy may be that I shall for ever enjoy thee But Ah Lord God what am I and vvhat is there in me and therefore vvhat am I able to do for thee or to render unto thee for this thy love vvhich far surpasseth the love of vvoman men or of Angels as there vvas never sorrow like to thy sorrow so there was never love like to thy love true it is O Lord for all this thy love thou requirest nothing but love againe Ah how faine would I love thee but I cannot as I would how much less then is it then I should when I would do good evil is present and I do the evil many times which I would not but do not cannot do the good which I would to will is many times present but how to performe I know not but thanks be unto God through our Lord Jesus Christ though with my flesh I serve the law of sin yet with my mind I serve the law of God Grant then O sweet Jesus and give me grace that I may love thee as thou hast loved me and do for thee as thou hast done for me and to this end make my heart upright before thee even according to thine own heart that it may no longer be mine own but thine own that I may be only thine wholy thine holy thine alwayes thine and ever thine that thou in me and I in thee I may from sin be ever free Teach me O Lord so to number my dayes that I may apply my heart unto Wisdome that I may be alwayes mindfull of my last end and of the reckoning that I must then make before thee the Judge of Heaven and earth Ah Lord suffer me not any longer to walk after the devices of mine own deceitful evil heart but grant O God
by â—hy power I may have power to do and walk uprightly before thee in all thy paths and that I may never more swerve nor turn aside out of the way of thy Commandements either to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Give me grace O Lord God I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to see mine own badness and thy goodness ready and willing to make me good that I may see mine own emptinesâ— and thy fulness reâ—dy to fill me mine own nakedness and thy robes to cover and to cloath me mine own sinfulness and thy righteousness to make me righteous mine own cursedness and thy blessedness to make me blessed my own deformity and ugliness and thy beautifulness to make me beautiful my own slavery and thy freedome and â—râ—eness to make me free mine own unworthyness and thy worthyness to make me worthy mine own insufficiency and thine al-sufficiency mine own demerit and thy merit mine own disobedience and thine obedience mine own nothingness yea altogether nothing and thine Almigtiness yea altogether all things for in thee are all things from thee come all things and by thee O God all things are and were Created I do most unfeignedly confess O Lord that I am unable and unfit to speak unto thee and as unworthy to hear thee speak unto me for in me that is in my flesh there is no good I am all evil only evil and continually evil but in thee O God dwelleth all good for thou art all good only good and continually dost good without thee I can say nothing think nothing nor do nothing that is good suffer me not therefore O Lord I beseech thee to speak in my own wisdome for that would be but the wisdome of words but let me O Lord speak in thy wisdome which will be the words of wisdome and Wisdoms words Let me not O Lord go forth in my own strength against any Temptation for I am so weak I should be overcome and fall into any Temptation but let thy strength thy power thy might and thy love O Lord be seen in my weakness to strengthen me and by thy power powerfully working in me I may overcome and trample under my feet all the strength and power of all my adversaries and enemies Devils lusts worlds lusts and self lusts Ah Lord God suffer me not to goe from thee for thou hast the words of Eternal life thou art the word and the life yea Eternal life he that hath thee hath life and shall not see death nor tast of death because he is past from death to life but he that hath not thee O Lord Christ is dead already because he liveth in sin for he that liveth in sin is dead though he liveth Ah Lord I confess that the Well of thy mercy is much deeper then Jacobs Well and yet sure I am that such Children yea such Infants as I am can draw water from thence even the water of life even such water as giveth another life a better life which is an immortal and eternal life a life that shall never see death being hid with Christ in God Ah sweet Jesus let me have thee in my heart which is much better then to have thee as Simeon had in his armes my armes might let thee fall out of them but my heart cannot I had rather yea much rather see thee with the eyes of true saving faith then of sence or with the eyes of the flesh for thine Enemyes O Lord saw thee with fleshly eyes and yet hated thee spit on thee reviled and mocked thee whipped thee persecuted thee and crucified thee bearing false witness against thee and believed not in thee notwithstanding all the miracles that thou did'st but all those that see thee O Lord by the eyes of faith will believe in thee and say of thee unto thee as Thomas did my Lord and my God they will so love thee as they will Crucific themselves and their bosome sins hate themselves and their own wayes persecute themselves and Crucifie all their own sinful fleshly worldly devilish lusts and affections and live as new Creatures in the world as if they were not of the world using the world as if they used it not Ah happy yea thrice happy are they that are in such a case for they have the Lord for their God Ah poor lost I poor forgotten I poor forsaken I poor undone I poor miserable I poor nothing despicable poor I untill thou O my sweet Jesus did'st come to my help to my succour to find me to save me to comfort me to inrich me to deliver me to set me free and bring me out of the chains of sin Hell and death by which I was held and led Captive and did'st most gratiously bring me into thy self and gavest me thy self and loved'st me as thy self doing for me O God what thou could'st do making me like thy self Ah Lord God thou knowest all things I well know thou knowest my heart and what more can my heart say unto thee thou only O Lord art the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts thou knowest O Lord I know well that thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because thou knowest it O Lord I most humbly beg and beseech thee in Jesus Christ to search and try me even all the Corners and Crannys of my heart and what evil is still in me O Lord I humbly intreat thee to destroy with an utterr and totall destruction that it may be said of it it is not Let sin O Lord as the house of Saul grow every day weaker and weaker and grace as the house of David every day stronger and stronger O Lord perfect that good work of grace which thou hast in the abundance of thy love begun in me untill thou hast in love made it and brought me into perfect glory and all this I beg of thee O Father in Jesus Christ what else thon knowest to be needfull or expedient for me both for soul and body in life in death and after death for Christ I shall ever bless thee and to him with thy glorious Majesty and holy spirit of grace the comforter and sanctifier do I render from the bottome of my heart unfaignedly as all due is and unto none else honour glory power might Majesty dominion and thanksgiving now henceforth and for evermore Amen 1. If our comfort and joy be so great to enjoy the Company of one imperfect Saint on earth Ah how great shall our joy and comfort be to enjoy for ever that innumerable Company of perfected Saints in Heaven but how much more and more great shall our joy be and to our eternal comfort to enjoy God the Father Son and Holy Ghost that made them thus perfect and Saints 2. If we rejoyce so much here on earth to see one or some few friends in the flesh that we think loves God Ah how shall we rejoyce when in Heaven to see so many
in my heart by my doing thy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven by crucifying and mortifying all sinful lusts and affections the lust of the eie the lust of the flesh and the pride of life for he that is born of God must nad will overcome the World and depart from all iniquity Grant O my God in Jesus Christ that here where I have been a member of Satan I may be a member of Christ my Saviour bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh a member of his mysticall body of grace here and of his glorious body in glory hereafter that here even here O Lord where I have been a Son of Satan a Child of wrath I may be an Adopted Son and Child of God an heire of Heaven and Co-heire with Jesus Christ of that Kingdome life and glory which he hath provided and prepared for the Saints in life where where their God will nor I trust be ashamed to be called my God nor their Father to be called my Father Inflame O Lord my heart with hearty and sincere zeale in thy service that I may not do thy work faintingly droopingly drousily nor negligently but faithfully circumspectly willingly cheerfully obediently and perseveringly unto the end of my dayes that thou O Lord my Lord and my God mayest be at all times in all places and above all things my joy my Crown of joy and my rejoycing my ultimate end aime and desire my supreame soveraign principal chief and superiour good my sot my portion and mine inheritance for ever And to this end suffer me not O Lord I humbly beseech thee to walk in my old wayes and paths of sin but in thine O Lord God of holiness and righteousness not according to mine own sinful and deceitful heart which is all evil only evil and continually evil but O God according to thine heart which is all good only good and continually good that thou mayest so delight me that all my delight may be to delight thee and make thee O Lord God my only delight love me O Lord in Jesus Christ that I may love thee honour me that I may honour thee magnifie me that I may magnifie thee live in me that I may live in thee do all for me that I may do all and be all for thee that I may not henceforth O Lord speak mine own words but thine not think my own thought but thine not do mine own works but thine Ah Lord for Jesus Christ his sake I humbly beseech thee suffer me not to be led into any tentation so as to prevaile over me but though tentations fall on me I may not fall into them though sin do remaine in my heart my heart may not remaine in sin deliver O Lord from all evil for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven Be a wall of fire and of water round about me O my God continually to keep and preserve me from all mine Enemies and Adversaries the Devil the world and the flesh be O Lord a City of refuge unto me that I may ever hide my self in thee for then I shall be safe and sure to be free from all danger be thou mine all for all my springs are in thee and from thee But what is man that he should be clean and the Son of man that is borne of a woman that he should be righteous behold he purteth no trust in his Saints and the Heavens are not clean in his sight how much more abominable and filthy is man that drinketh up iniquity as the Oxe drinketh up water and rusheth into sin as the horse rusheth into the battel But Ah my God how much more wretched am I how much more uncleane filthy and abominable am I then any that was ever born of a woman I that have delighted in sin as the Drunkard in wine as the wanton in his mate how have I chosen sin prized sin imbraced sin covered sinning and sought it as for hid treasures it hath been sweet to my tast as the hony and the hony Comb but O Lord I know and am assured that with thee there is mercy O reach thou me to fear thee For thou art O Lord become my Portion and thou hast made me thine inheritance for ever I prize thee O Lord much above gold and the most pretious pearls thy Countenance is most amiable Ah how delightfull are thy wayes and how pleasant a thing it is O Lord to walk in the paths of thy Commandements and to keep thy Statutes these things O Lord thou knowest are only desireable unto my soul and it longeth only to be found in thee Who Lord who can or is able to express the ravishments of that heart that possesseth thee who Lord who is able to express the joy of him that enjoyeth thee Ah how doth he as it were run over with fulness of blessings that is filled with thee even with thy blessed self who art the Fountaine the Ocean and the Originall of all blessedness felicity and happiness Ah Lord how truly may he say that hath thee as Jacob did that he hath all though he should want all other things he that hath thee hath all things in the want of all things and he that wants thee wants all things even in the possession of all things for what O Lord what is all things without thee and what doth he Ah what can he want that hath thee who art all things yea much better then all thing for he that hath thee hath life yea Eternal life and is past from death death hath no more dominion over him but he that hath thee not is dead though he liveth for he that is in thee O Lord is from all sin free he that is born of thee O God sinneth not sin hath no more dominion over him because thy seed of holiness which is sanctification remaineth in him such a one hath overcome the world and that wicked one with all the powers of the Kingdome of darkness sin Hell death and the Devil he that is in Christ is Crucified to the world and the world unto him he is departed from all iniquity he hath Crucified the flesh with the lusts and affections thereof he maketh no longer provision for the flesh to satisfie its lusts for they know that his Servants they are whom they obey whether of sin unto death or of Obedience unto Righteousness Ah blessed ever blessed and only blessed and happy condition to be thus born againe of God and to sin no more to be a member of Christs misticall body bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh such shall be as assuredly members of his glorious body for they that are betrothed unto him here by grace shall be hereafter marryed unto him in glory Ah Lord God I am sure thou knowest my heart and that though it is not what it would be or should be yet thou hast for which I
out brethren our sins of gluttony and drunkennesse of uncleannesse of malice wrath and revenge our sins of profanation and persecution our sins of blasphemy and toleration aganst thy self O God and Christ against thy holy Law and Gospel O God that art the Iudg of Heaven and of Earth pardon O Lord pardon I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ Englands sins for they are many for they are great and enter into a Covenant with them and be thou their God and make them thy people that they may serve thee for ever and for ever and thou maiest henceforth delight in them to live amongst them and never more to be wrath with them Settle O Lord I beseech thee a faithful Magistracy over us Iudges as at the first and Counsellors as in the beginning that Iustice may run down our streets as a mighty river and righteousnesse as a great stream that the cause of the poor the Widow and the Orphane may be heard and Iustice done without respect of persons that there be no cries in our Land nor no complaining in our streets Give O Lord boldnesse Zeal Courage and Faithfulnesse unto all the Ministers thereof that they may not seek the praise of men but the praise honour and glory of thee our God and that they may be ready and willing to lay down their lives for the truth and be faithful unto the death choosing rather much rather affliction and persecution for thy sake and the Gospels then to dwell in the Tabernacles of the wicked and to serve the lusts of men and to this end O Lord God give them I humbly pray thee a double Portion of thy holy Spirit which thou gavest unto thy faithful Servant Elias to lead guide govern and direct them in the wayes of all truth and Righteousness that they may not at all fear him which can only kill the body but him which is thy self O Lord who having killed the body can'st cast the soul into Hell O Lord open their eyes that they may see thee and thy strength and power on their side and therefore may not fear the power nor the policy of their Enemyes how great soever it be to the eyes of men for they are but men meer men whose breath is in their Nostrils a little creeping clay speaking earth Wormes of six foot long whose hearts thou turnest as the rivers of waters and changest them as thou pleasest and that nothing is or can be done by them but what thou pleasest and sufferest to be done cause them and all thy people to know that having thee on their side and for them they need not fear who be against them for none ever fought against thy power and prospered and that though thou dost usually use means yet thou canst O God we know if thou so pleasest do thy work without meanes yea and against meanes and that there is no meanes so contemptable but thou canst O God our God make effctual even to the pulling down of strong holds as thou did'st the Walls of Jerico at the noyse of Rams Horns it is as easie with thee to do what thou willest as to will it all things are as easie as possible let us not then O God fear any power no nor all powers having thee the Lord for our God before whom all the Nations of the earth are as the drop of a bucket and as the dust of the ballance thou holdest O God the Ocean in the hollow of thine hand and the earth is upheld and standeth fast by the power of thy might give us then O Lord God such fear as may cause us to love thee and such love as may cast out and destroy all fear for thou only who art God only art to be feared only Ah Lord look down gratiously and in mercy upon poor afflicted Scotland and Ireland stir up thy self and come and save them even now now when there is no help for them nigh at hand O Lord be thou their help and help thou them and give them grace to put their trust in thee that thou mayest be their help and deliverer of three Nations make us O Lord one people that we may be knit together with the bonds of love and unity serving thee O Lord with a perfect heart in holiness and Righteousness all the dayes of our lives and though O Lord thou hast delivered them into our hands and given us power over them Ah Lord suffer us not to do other unto them then we would they should do unto us and that we lay not on them too heavy burthens to bear Bless O Lord I beseech thee all my kindred and acquaintance in the flesh Ah Lord I know that thou knowest all their soul and body cases Ah be thou pleased in Jesus Christ to come into their help and give them deliverance make O Lord make their hearts below their conditions and then make their conditions what thou wilt lay no more O Lord on them then thou shalt be pleased to inable them to bear and then lay on them what thou wilt Ah Lord cause every thing to work together for their good let them alwayes see and acknowledge that thou punishest them for less then their iniquities deserve and that all afflictions whatsoever come from thee but the procuring cause is in themselves make them O Lord as willing to weare the Cross here as the Crown hereafter to suffer for thee here as to raigne with thee hereafter and though O Lord they be poor in the world let them be rich in grace though they be contemptible in the world let them be honourable in thy sight be thou O Lord their Portion and make them thine inheritance and grant O Lord I beseech thee that their last dayes may be their best dayes and their last thoughts their best thoughts that they may be thy faithful humble and obedient Servants unto their lives end living the lives of the Righteous that they may be like them both in death and after death be thou with them O Lord in all places and at all times that they may alwayes sit under the shadows of thy wings and that the fruit of thy word may be pleasant unto the tast of their souls let them through grace delight to walk in the wayes of thy Statutes and let thy Commandements be their daily talk suffer them not O Lord to goe astray from thee either after the pleasures or profits of the world but inable them all through grace to walk uprightly and circumspectly before thee unto their lives end Be mindful and merciful O Lord unto all the Sons and Daughters of affliction wheresoever disper'st wheresoever scattered on the face of the whole earth bring home O Lord all that are banisht deliver all Captives and set free all Prisoners that every one may sit under his Vine and rejoyce under his Fig-Tree eating in peace the fruits of their labours visit O Lord the sick comfort the comfortless bind up the broken heart heal the
not seen 258. He that submitteth to his wayes shall find his doings advantagious for the knoweth of what we are made and all things that come from him bring joy where he is the giver 259. His mercyes are as the Sun they dispel the Cloudes of afflictions and warm the heart with the fire of love 260. He can do what he listeth there is none can hold his strong arme but all must bend when he Commands 261. Trust then in the Lord who is thy strength and in the holy one of Israel who hath given himself to thee and for thee he will provide for thee he will satisfie all the desires of thy soul and cause thy heart mightily to rejoyce in his goodness and to triumph in all and over all things that come upon thee for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it and he will do it according to the former promises of his holy Spirit made unto thee in the day of thy straights and watns 262. Praise thou the Lord for great is his goodness towards thee and his loving kindness hath no end 263. This is thy Portion from the Almighty Amen Amen 264. Praise his holy name live for ever in his love dwell in peace 265. O Lord I know that thou hearest not my Prayers for their worthiness but they are worthy because thou hearest them 266. I am not worthy for any worthiness that sin me but for thy worthiness O my Jesus and my good God that flows from thy exceeding bounty into me 267. I know that thou dost not love me O Lord for any lovelinesse that is in me or because I love thee but I love thee O my Lord who art my God because thou knowest me 268. And because that thou dost love me now I know that thou did'st love me ever and therefore wilt love me ever even unto the end and yet I know well that there is nor shall be no end of thy love it is endless for ever and for ever 269. Thy love O Lord I know is like thy self nay thy love is thy self for thou art not only a loving God but a God of love and therefore thy love is as thy self had never beginning nor shall never have end 270. Ah blessed love that is thus durable and unchangable and happy ye thrice happy he that is thus beloved being sure to be beloved ever thus 271. If a man or woman in the flesh hath unspeakable joy pleasure and delight to be devorst from one which they hare beyond and more then any thing and are instead thereof marryed unto one which they dearly love yea which they love more dearly then any thing in the flesh 272. Ah what joyes Ah what delights and ravishing pleasures shall they have and have all they that shall be and are devorst from their old Husbands sin whom they hate as the Devil and fear and fly from as from Hell and are marryed unto their new new beloved Husband Christ Jesus whom they love above and more then all things as their lives as their souls yea as their Heaven for he is the life of their life the soul of their soul and the Heaven of their Heaven being their soul and bodyes Eternal Everlasting rest peace portion happiness felicity and blessednesse in Heaven for 273. There are no joyes like to spiritual joys nor sorrow like to the spiritual mans sorrow when he mourns under that intolerable burthen of sin for a wounded Conscience who can bear 274. The unregenerate man cannot love sin and hate grace as the regenerate man loves grace and hates sin for he hath the love of God in him his Image of holiness righteousness is renewed in him day by day he loves all his gifts and graces with his own love perfectly and so he hates all and every sin in thought word and deed which is in sincerity 275. The fleshly Voluptuous man cannot love the pleasures of the flesh as the spiritual man prizeth and loves and delights and rejoyceth in the pleasures of the spirit 276. The Wicked cannot hate the Righteous and the just so much as the just and the Righteous love the wicked though they detest abhor and hate all their sins for they know that a Saul to day may be a Paul to morrow c. They cannot see the inside of any nor know their hearts therefore they judge none but themselves knowing with what measure they mete it shall be measured to them again they also call to mind and remember what they were themselves in time past how they lived after the flesh and minded the things of the flesh c and that where sin hath abounded grace shall much more abound that 't is by free grace that we are saved Eternal life is the gift of God through Jesus Christ our Lord and we are all unprofitable Servants when we have done all 277. Sin then is Opposite Capital and grand Enemy to holinesse as hatred is to love as darkness is to light as Hell is to Heaven as the Devil is to God 278. See then and consider how they are opposite and take notice of their contrary workings and in the end how and by what means it is that the good destroys the evil and is the Conquerour and the greatest 279. Sin is Eternal darkness and death Holiness is Eternal light and life sin shuts Heavens Gates and sets wide open Hells Holiness shuts the Gates of Hell and sets wide open those of Heaven sin wounds holiness heals sin casts down to Hell holyness raiseth up to Heaven sin kills holiness causeth to live the sinner hates God and all good and most of all God because he is good and because he is God yea because he is such a holy God as he is and he would that he were not that sin might be and might be free but the Saint or Regenerate loves all good and hates all evil and loves most of all God because he is God a holy and a just God all good yea because he is such a God as he is and as well for that he punisheth sin with Eternal death as because he rewardeth holiness with Eternal life after he hath given it with his free grace of his free will sin shall be ever in Hell as well as holiness for ever in Heaven the sinner in Hell shall be despighted because he lives to sin and cannot dye nor flye from sin and because that God lives and thus punisheth him with life and will not suffer death to have power over him he sees death to fly from him ye so far as it will never be nearer him then it is so that he shall ever live thus the Saints rejoyce to live because they live in God and for God a Saint loves God because he hath thus rewarded him by making him to live such a life as this that is to his praise and because God was ever thus and shall be thus ever he knoweth he shall be ever so also death is fled from him and
know and to know feelingly in truth and sincerity that Jesus is the Christ our Christ and our Jesus to anoynt us and to sanctifie and save us to be unto us Wisdome Rightousnesse Justification and Redemption 20. O my soul my soul flye from all other knowledg that hinders this as from madness and folly as from mad folly and foolish madness brutishness and stupidity and choose to learn and learn to choose this one thing needfull that is to know Jesus Christ and him Crucified for thee for thee my soul and body in thy place and stead not with the knowledg of the letter but of the spirit for thus to know him is life yea life Eternal Eternal and Everlasting life 21. How willing Ah how willing is that soul that receives any thing from God to lay it out for him that is to give it unto others he would indeed be alwayes receiving and God and his own heart only knows how willing he is to be alwayes giving even as if he desired and begged for others and not for himself and as it s freely given him so doth he freely or would if he could freely give it unto others he will not Ah he will not he cannot consent to napkin it up or hide it he would be thus rich and wise and honourable but it is to do good works as it were to make others such when others are what they should be he praiseth God much on their behalf and rejoyceth with unspeakable joy for the glory of God is his only rejoycing he minds in some manner yet and often too more others welfare then his own because it seems to him that he cannot alone do what he would have done for his God therefore as soon as he receives this Heavenly treasure he desires to shew himself to be the Treasurer of Heaven to distribute it unto those that want that lack it that are hunger starved and when he meets with such and perceives and finds that they feed heartily and favour it Ah how doth he bless God for thus blessing him and them for thus using him as an instrument as his hand and mouth as it were to give unto them and to help their infirmityes but he gives it not as his own but as his Masters goods for he chargeth then strictly to account themselves Debtors to his Lord not to him for he alwayes to all acknowledgeth to have nothing but what he hath received he will by no means hide his light under a bushel but puts it on a Candlestick that it may be seen his only amibition is so to traffick with it that it may redound to his Masters profit and advantage that being he is certaine he shall ever have a well being that is be received into and ever to abide in the joy of his Lord yea into the Lord of his joy 22. Ah Lord empty my self of my self my heart of my own heart my affections of my own affections my thoughts of all my own thoughts that I may be filled with thee who fillest all Creatures with all the good things they enjoy be thou O Lord be thou all my all all my honour wisdome strength tiches pleasures life contentment and happy dayes for even then when I have all things and have thee not thou knowest O Lord that I have nothing for that I esteem them all even nothing at all but when I have thee Ah when I have thee I have all things that I would have that my soul desireth or can ask or crave 23. Give me but thy self O Lord O Lord give me but thy self and then give me what thou wilt to do to be or to suffer for thee I accept Ah I most willingly accept of it and promise for ever obedience unto it 24. Though I am unable unfit and cannot do what I would do yet most willingly I would and most unfainedly I do desire to do what I should do 25. O Lord I know that thou knowest all things and therefore I know that thou knowest how willingly I would and how much I desire to give thee all my life all my labour and all my love 26. For there is no other thing lovely or deserves to have our loves but that one thing thy Love O God O God thy Love thy Love 27. Ah what is all mans teachings and mans doings to that O God which by thy spirit thou teachest us to know and inablest us to do 28. If it be so sweet Ah if it be so sweet a thing to think of God and his wayes here on earth in the flesh so that all earthly sweets or earths sweets are made bitter by it unsavory and unwholsome Ah how wholsome savory and sweet is it to walk O Lord in all thy wayes to do all thy will and to enjoy thy self all as thou art in Heaven where thinking thoughts hoping desires and believing joyes shall be turned into possessing truths even true possession of all that ever we believed desired hoped or thought on yea it shall far surpass all the imaginations of our hearts of our desires or hopes being infinite and incomprehensible as well as Everlasting and Eternal 29. And when O God thou hast thus filled us here thou dost at times seem to us to be as the ebbing Sea goe back again but that we may not remaine comfortlesse thou comest again unto us into us even as the flood yea as the full Sea to shew us witness to us and assure us that there is no want decrease nor diminishing in thee but that thou art still the same full of bounty goodness love and willingness to do us all good much above what we can ask or think 30. There is Ah there is a most blessed Heaven to be had on this side Heaven even whilst we are on earth which is an assurance certain or a certain and a sure assurance of that Heaven of Heaven in Heaven and this some have alwayes within them at all times and places they enjoy this unspeakable joy but more fully sweetly and particularly at some times when they have a near Converse and Communion with God then are they as it were wrapt up in God and clothed with him and filled with him made meete and fitted by him then Ah then do they sing new songs of deliverance rejoycing with unspeakable joy that they are thus made free 31. That high Heaven above is to be had here below and we have it when though we are high in God yet we are low in our selves though we have our hearts high living in that Heaven above above all things here below yet our affections esteem and desire are alwayes weak dull and low to all these things here below yea much lower then the lowest of things 32. Ah did but our hearts well consider what is in Gods heart to give us and to do for us surely we should and we would do no other thing then wait upon him continually to hear what he would say unto us and do for
us which would bring us more joy joy us more then our hearts are able to hold then we are any of us able to think or to conceive 33. O Lord thou knowest that I would not have all that I would have but the heart of my desires yea the desires of my heart are to have only only to have that which is in thy heart to have me to have 34. Let O Lord I humbly beseech thee my thoughts heart and affections be alwayes loaden with the loaves of thy love 35. Let my soul alwayes be resatiated with thy love and kindnesse even with thy loving kindnesse O Lord. 36. O God in Jesus Christ let thy former mercyes alwayes glad my heart when it shall either droop or faint I most humbly beseech thee 37. Let me not Ah let me not wander from thee nor thy precepts O Lord who keepest this close unto me 38. Let thy Commandements be as a Chaine of Gold about my neck and as Bracelets of Pearls on my arms 39. Let O Lord God thy whole law which is holy be written on my heart with the singer of thy holy and blessed spirit and grant through thy grace love and mercy in Jesus Christ that I may never depart from them but alwayes and ever delight in them much more then on my daily food which thou hast appointed and ordained to feed this temporal life 40. Let thy word O God be as yea be the hony comb to the spiritual tast of my soul and resatiate and solace it as with marrow and fatness and comfort and glad it as wine on the lees yea as wine well refined on the Lees. 41. Ah Lord God cause my soul alwayes feelingly and rejoycingly to say I have none in Heaven but thee nor on all the earth in comparison of thee my Jesus and my Christ and let the Corne Wine and Oyle which are the riches honours and pleasures of the world be as durt dung and dross in comparison of it 42. Ah Lord God what is man sinful man wretched blind despicable poor man that thou art thus mindful of him and the Son of man that thou should'st thus regard him delight in him and set thy heart upon him to do him good yea to do him all the good that is in thy heart and to make him that is his heart according to thine own heart 43. Ah wonder of Wonders that such a God should thus condescend to love such a man nothing man man that is nothing but evil all evil yea and continually all evil for there is none good but thee O God O none no not one 44. Bow down O Lord bow down my heart unto the obedience of thy Laws and lift it up to rejoyce in the obedience of thy Commandments to keep them and do them for in the keeping of them there is life yea eternal and everlasting life 45. Banish O Lord I most humbly and earnestly beseech thee out of my heart and thoughts the love and the liking unto any other Love besides thee and thy Love 46. And grant that with the heart of my heart I may serve thee in truth of heart unfainedly all the daies and moments of my life that I may long after no other thing and that thy fear may be my daily food 47. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee to give out thy self unto me that I may give up my self unto thee 48. Give O Lord give thy self unto me that I may for ever give my self to thee to live ever to thee and for thee as I desire ever to live in thee and with thee 49. Thou knowest O Lord my God that I desire not what I do desire unlesse it be conformable to thy desires so that my desires are not mine but thine not mine own but thine own yea thine all all thine 50. I would not have O Lord God thou knowest right well what I would have but what I should that what thou wilt have me to have what thou hast appointed me to have Ah let me have that only that all all that 51. I know that all that thou givest us whether graces or gifts thou wilt have an account of we shall account with thee for 52. Ah let me no longer nor no more have this woe and grief of heart to have received much and done little and to ask much for my self but to do little Ah little for thee 53. Suffer me not O Lord never to think or do that in secret which I would not which I should not do openly and let me O Lord Ah let me much more fear thine all seeing eies than all the seeing eies of Angels and men 54. How we are to desire and believe that we receive the Lord in the Sacrament of his blessed Supper and the assurance thereof to our Souls to comfort glad and rejoyce them 55. Ah Lord God as for me as for me Ah Lord God the food my Soul desireth at thy Table and Supper that which resatiateth feedeth fileth and refresheth it is the sweet breath and most divine and delitious breathings of thy divine and most holy Spirit into my heart and soul and all the affections and faculties thereof to warm and heat them to ascertain and assure my heart of thy Love and living in it which thou dost O Lord by sanctifying it the will the mind the memory the desires and all the affections and faculties thereof and by making it and them more not only to desire but to perceive see feel and certainly to know its growth and growing more and more in conformity and likenesse to thee O God in Christ by loving delighting choosing imbraceing and rejoyciâ—g in thy Laws waies word will and Commandments I do not blessed O Lord be thy name as do the Papists suppose or believe that I eat thy flesh and drink thy blood as thou wert when thou wert here on Earth in the flesh on the Crosse for I know that the Spirit must be fed with spiritual food spiritually the food of the body cannot resatiate or satisfie the Soul and that Soul that hath thus tasted and fed on thee Spiritually will assuredly hunger for this blessed heavenly food of thy holy heavenly blessed most blessed Spirit even for the breathings of this thy Spirit for the joyes and ravishments which they enjoy that enjoy and are filled with this this Spirit for the peace tranquility serenity and comfort of thy Spirit for the life and living of thy Spirit to please delight fill full satisfie and resatiate the appetite of the Soul even as the body hungreth and desireth rejoyceth and delighteth in food to please its fleshly appetite what if we could or did O Lord eat thy very body and blood that would not fill or feed our Souls which are not fed with meat and drink corporally but spiritually and what matters it O Lord as for me I care not what I eat or drink as to the outward man so I may eat and drink by faith in the Spirit and
most holy things are too too unholy and all thine all even nothing at all thou art altogether ashamed of thy self that thou art what thou art and abhorrest thy self in dust and ashes accounting thy self as thou art in thy self the vilest of Creatures the greatest of sinners and the very worst of the worst of men 98. And this causeth in thee sorrow shame grief and astonishment wondring that such a God should love such a man such a worm such a wretch such a miscreant such a dog such a sinner yea such a devil as thou art in thy self Dost thou thus condemn thy self loath and abhor thy self and art thus truly angry with thy self and ashamed of thy self and of all thy doings and marvellest how thou canst find acceptance at such a glorious Throne of grace and gracious Throne of glory and that God hath had so long patience and that he did not cut thee off long ago and give thee thy portion with thy brethren in Iniquity Whoremongers Drunkards Prophaners of the Sabbath with the Covetous Proud Boasters Malicious Raylers False accusers c. even with the devil and his angels and that thou dost esteem it a heaven that thou art not now in hell giving continual glory to God in Christ that thou were not consumed and cut off long ago and that he hath not given only space to repent but also grace to repent from all and every sin in thought word and deed even with repentance unto life never to be repented of 99. And if thus thou art in sincere truth I say if in truth and sincerity these or the like be thy desires endeavours life and living end and aime habitually continually and universally then art thou what thou shouldst be and what God would have thee to be assure thy self thy heart is upright clean pure holy and perfect even according to Gods own holy heart thou art a man in Christ a member of Christ and surely surely Christ will assuredly own thee for his own and alwaies love thee and live in thee even as he doth in his own as he doth to those in whom he liveth and whom he loveth and thy life shall henceforth be hid with Christ in God so that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming in glory thou shalt also appear with him to his eternal glory and thine everlasting comfort joy and eternal salvation 100. And therefore O man of God child of God son of God and servant of the eternal and ever living God chear up thy self and rejoyce yea I say evermore rejoyce for God is thy God and thy Father thy Portion thy Lot and thine Inheritance thou art surely his and he is as surely thine and Christ Jesus will be also thine all all thine the way the truth and the life to bring thee unto and give thee possession of erernal life life eternal which he hath prepared for thee by his death and is preparing thee for it by his life for he lives to make continual intercession for thee the holy Spirit of grace the Sanctifier and the Comforter is thine he will guide thee lead thee direct thee keep thee and preserve thee unto the end even in the waies of all holiness and righteousness of peace joy comfort and consolation which are the fore-tasts and fore-sights of eternal life and salvation the very beginnings of the beatifical Vision of glory in glory and of those ravishing joyes and pleasures prepared and laid up for the Just before the beginning of the world was which are such as eye hath not seen as ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of any man at any time to conceive being much an much above all that we can ask or think for there we shall ever possess and enjoy all joyes unspeakable joyes yea fulness of all joyes and pleasures for evermore even God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost who is all in all and in all the blessed to him alone be eternally given all Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving now and for ever and ever Amen Amen 101. None but the true children of God can truly love Gods Children they that are his will love those that are his chiefly and most because they are his and those most that appear to be his most and those dearliest that are his dearest 102. I will much more more by much rejoyce in an obedient heart to submit unto and to do the whole and holy will of God in all cases conditions and places than to enjoy the wisdom of Solomon and all the honours riches delights and pleasures of the whole world 103. Ah Lord let my heart never be at rest untill I find that it doth most willingly freely joyfully and choosingly submit and acquiess unto all that God will be it what it will and to say of all things and in all conditions so would I have it 104. There is surely nothing so delightful unto the heart of a true Christian as to do the whole will of God holily and heartily as to please him by a sincere hearty and chearful obedience universally 105. Ah the joyes the joyes the true joyes the great joyes yea the unspeakable joyes the peace the peace the comfort the comfort the solace and the rest and quiet that is in the heart of him that feareth alwaies from love for it destroys all servile fear and causeth such joy and gladness as passeth all understanding 106. What ah what honour is there like that as truly and sincerely to honour God! What pleasure ah what pleasure like that as alwaies to please God! What joy ah what joy like that as alwaies to enjoy God! What happiness ah what happiness like that comparable to that as to know him to be ours and we to be his What peace ah what peace like that as when we know our peace to be made with the God of peace through and by Jesus Christ the King and Prince of peace witnessed unto us by the continual indwelling in us of the Spirit of peace the Sanctifier of our souls and the Comforter of our hearts Ah what comfort what comfort like unto that as to find our selves in God and that great good God to be in us What ah what so sweet as to feed continually on these true heavenly sweets here on earth which are the very sweets of heaven in heaven 107. I do now wonder that any man hath or can have any pâ—ace a moment that hath not his peace made sure or a sure peace made with God 108. All other quiet ah how unquiet will it prove in the end that is not founded or grounded on this sure foundation or ground of Gods love in Jesus Christ. 109. I wonder Ah I wonder men are not as it were continually torn in pieces with fears and cares till all these fears are taken away by a lively living Faith and their whole cares cast on Christ. 110. I wonder Ah I wonder that terrors do
longer a neglecter of so great Salvation as is so freely offered unto thee and quench not the spirit in thee no longer which if thou wilt but now repent and leave for ever thy sins thou shalt find mercy and he will seal it to thy heart and Conscience unto the day of Redemption awake then thou that sleepest and arise from the dead and Christ shall give thee life But know that if thou neglectest it and wilt put it off till to morrow know that there is no to morrow in all the Scripture 't is to day if thou wilt hear his voyce harden not thy heart and consider how nigh this day may be past and how nigh the night may be at hand wherein no man shall work The Lord speak so effectually to thy dry obdurate rocky heart that it may so hear as thy soul may live and that these words may prove a savour of death to all thy sins and of life unto thy poor soul. Death to all that are in Christ is a day of Harvest of reaping gatheting and gain it will be to him a day of Espousals she shall be marryed unto the fairest Bridegroome that ever was Absoloms beauty will be blacknesse and uncomlinesse to his to the richest that ever was Solomons riches will be but as Jobs poverty compared to his And to the most highest in honour that ever was being King of Kings and Lord of Lords to him all Kings shall fall and cast their Crowns at his feet Death to a true believer is the best of all things because it brings him to possesse all things yea to possesse Christ himself who is the giver of all things and much better then all things much by much A soul in Christ is alwayes ready to meet and imbrace death at midnight or mid-day at the Cock-crowing or any other time he hath his life as it were in his hand alwayes ready and willing to lay it down or give it up unto him that gave it him and redeemed it he accounts nothing his own but all Christs and that he hath all things both in Heaven and earth having him When Death is ready to carry us into the arms of Christ the Ark of our peace and rest then the Devil many times rageth most against us But Christ our Captain and deliverer who will save us to the utmost as the Lyon of the tribe of Judah roareth against him and forceth him to a treambling and yielding retreat But to Saints our Christ appears as a Lamb meek and pacified yea as the Lamb of God that taketh away all our sins that he may present us spotless and unblameable unto his Father that we may as Children and Co-heires with himself receive a Crown incorruptible and the inheritance prepared for us from all Eternity Death to us that are dead to sin and alive to Christ hath no sting and therefore cannot in the least do us any harm wherefore we cherish him and as a dear friend are glad to hear of him and to think often on him and when he comes we bid him most heartily welcome entertain him kindly and lodg him in our bosoms But to those that know not Christ his Master and have no interest in him nor his mark on their foreheads he comes in flames of fire and as a most cruel Executioner to execute on them the direful and eternal doom of God and so carries them post and headlong to Hell delivering them into the hands and power of their grand Enemie the Devil to be tormented in everlasting burning world without end or for ever and for ever Death Ah how comly art thou in the sight of all Gods children that art sent by him to bring them to see him their King Lord and Master that have so long desired to see this day and thy delightsome countenance thou art most welcome and dear as the most dearest brother come in thou messenget of the most highest I know what thou hast to say unto me thou bringest me the gladdest tidings that ever I heard I am ready to go with thee when thou wilt I shall be now soon brought to my long desired home to my everlasting habitation of repose and rest Now my Soul thou shalt be no longer perplext nor troubled all sighing for sin and fear of sinning shal flie away now is that blessed day come wherein thou shalt at once have all thy Prayers answered all thy desires petitions and suits granted and ten thousand times ten thousand more than ever thou didst ask or think now thou shalt sin grieve nor offend thy God no more but evermore serve honour obey and please him Now thou shalt see him who created thee God the Father him who redeemed thee Jesus Christ the Son and him who so often comforted thee and hath sanctified thee the Holy Ghost the blessed Spirit three in one and one in three which is a great misterie but most true Ah happy they unto whom it hath been manifestly manifested such have Eternal life and therefore fear not death But to the wicked that see and know themselves out of Christ death is to all such the King of terrors they dread and fear him more than all the Kings Tyrants Torments and Tormenttors in the World nay than the Devil himself for t is by death that they are sent or brought to keep company for ever one with another t is death carries them to that infernal habitation that throws them headlong into that Lake of fire and brimstone into that bottomlesse pit of black thick darknesse which may be felt that binds them in fetters so strong as none is able to deliver them and then flyes swifter than the wind from them resolving which they know never to return to deliver them and this latter woe for ever to abide so is the greatest of all this sinks their hearts and hopes into an everlasting despair which most of all makes death dreadful to them and they would much rather lye under the greatest rocks or mountains or be cast with a milstone about their necks into the bottom of the Sea But it cannot be death will execute his part of the doom pronounced against them by him that judgeth wisely righteously and justly and that spake as never man spake A Prayer MOst High most Holy Most Heavenly Eternal and Incomprehensible Glorrious Lord God the God and Father of all mercies and of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ I they poor and unworthy creature despicably poor blind and naked and out of Christ I confesse and acknowledge that I have nothing wherewith to cover my nakedness and deformity but unclean filthy raggs my own righteousness being unrighteousness my own obedience being disobedience my own worthiness being unworthiness so that all my all is even nothing at all and can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing I see now and know my self to be a most miserable wretch the chiefest and the greatest of all sinners yea the very worst of the worst
poorest and meanest Creature according to the flesh as well as unto the highest in degree and honour among men and that their Conditions blessed be thy Name makes no condition with me for I account my self in very truth Servant and Debtor unto all both bond and free young and old and would with all my heart and soul do for any of them what thou requirest and Commandest yea me thinks I would give them what I have and be without it that they might have it I would be hungry and thirsty and poor and naked to feed refresh cloath and make rich their souls I would most sincerely and willingly that they had all of them a double Portion of the gifts and graces of thy holy Spirit which thou hast given me to the end it might be well with them and they might doubly praise thee Ah Lord Stamp on their hearts the seal of thy Divine love hide them under thy most sacred and glorious pavilion that they may be kept safe from the evil day and from the evil one who continually seeketh to devout them swallow them up O Lord into thy self that they may be ever secure dart O God a beam of thy Divine love that by its reflection they may have love to love thee again as thou lovest them not as to measure or degree that I know well is in none either on earth or in Heaven nor cannot be the most blessed Saints Angels Arch Angels Cherubins and Seraphims were the love of all those lovely blessed and glorious Creatures emptied into one alone then even I know his would come short of thine of thy love O God to that Creature whom thou lovest in the least degree to Salvation for thy love is the love of a God who is love that would be but the love of a Creature thine would be from thy self alone that would be from thee and given by thee so that the love which in sincere love I thus in Jesus Christ begg of thee for them is that they may have true love for thee and thine continually that it may continue with them and in them unto the end till that thou shalt so fill them with that first choyce and chiefe grace that they all may be as thou art in a degree all love Ah Lord God confound I pray thee the wisdome of the wise I mean thou knowest the worldly wise bring down their pride and staine their glory such as will go about to condemne what they cannot mend and to marre what they cannot make turn O God their wisdome as thou did'st Achitophels into foolishnesse but preserve them unto the end from such a like end and open the eyes of their understanding that they may see and acknowledge the errors of their wayes and come speedily out of them and before ever converted unto thee that their souls may ever live with thee Ah Lord God what a most pittiful thing is it and of all things to be lamented with and in teares of blood that any poor soul should either live or die in sin that a soul which is of much more value then ten thousand worlds should be for ever lost and undone for such a base vile filthy thing as is sin the very excrements of naughtinesse and by which O God thou that art worthy of all honour art so much dishonoured and the Devil so much honoured Ah how is it to be pittyed and dolefully lamented that so many poor souls should believe lyes and the Father of lyes the Devil before thy word and thy self who art the God of all truth and love how great Ah how great was thy love O God to save poor lost sinners in sparing and giving thy own only dear and beloved Son to the most shameful and most painful death of the Cross to redeem them from sin death Hell and the Devil and hast thou not promised with him to give them all things And Ah how great was thy love O most sweet Jesus who did'st so willingly submit to thy Fathers will and for the glory which was set before thee for us sinners did'st chearfully endure the Cross and despise the shame aud so sits down at the right hand of thy Father to prepare there a place for us and by thy continual intercession to prepare us for that place and this thy sitting down in glory at his right hand shews plain that thou hast done all that is to be done that can be required all as thou said'st when thou gavest up the Ghost is surely finished our Redemption fully wrought and compleated thy Fathers wrath appeased and he well pleased Ah Christ with and in all humility of heart I speak it thou had'st this spirit in thee thou did'st even as it were thus complain ye will not come to me that ye may have life and did'st weep for and over Jerusalem because her day of salvation was past and thy holy spirit in the mouth of thy Prophet complaineth and as it were lamenteth their sad condition saying Ah why will you dye O House of Israel And further how often doth this thy gracious and blessed spirit O God leave as it were thy bosome and comes and sues and wooes us that he may sanctifie and make us chosen and fit Vessels for thy use Ah Lord thou knowest how often such like considerations have sadened my soul that thou who art the God of truth should'st be thought by so many as it were a lyer for thy Word is not believed by them but made as a thing of nought trampled under foot and cast behind the back and Drunkards Whoremongers and such vile persons words be received entertain'd taken up welcom'd and preferr'd before thee O God before thee and thy Word and all thy most gratious offers of grace Now if such by thy good and gratious Providence come to read these words or of that which thou hast made me to write I humbly pray thee in Jesus Christ thy Son to pity him and pardon him Ah fetch home O God all windering Prodigals that are in far Countrys that is far from thee feeding on Hogs and Harlots which is on their own fleshly Carnal Lusts and vile affect ions Ah Father I know thee to be full of love and compassion Ah be thou pleased to do for all such as thou hast done for me for such was my most miserable and woful condition But I praise thy glorious Name thou hast washt and cleansed and sanctified my soul. Ah be thou pleased to let them all tast of the same love and kindnesse let them drink all of the same Cup and eat of the same meat and be cloathed with the same Robes and have a like ring of Love put on their fingers Ah let them O Father Lord of Heaven and Earth be thus welcomed by the and owned by thee for thine own and adorn'd thus gratiously with thine own glory that thou mayest delight in them and they may make thee only all their joy delight and rejoycing Ah that the
THE CONFESSION AND CONVERSION Of the chiefest and greatest of SINNERS With his frequent Communion with God in Christ by the Spirit OR A Garden of Spiritual Fruits and Flowers LONDON Printed by J. Hayes for the Author 1662. And are to be Sold by S. Thomson at the Bishopâ—â— Head in St. Pauls Church-yard THe eies of the Lord in love are alwaies on all them that fear him for he delighteth to delight them The Lord knoweth all those that are his and none of them shall ever perish but all of them shall enjoy him for ever who is everlasting life and Salvation All the Sons of God are led by the Spirit of God and they that have not his Spirit are none of his Jesus Christ came into the World to save sinners of whom I am chief Jesus Christ came to save those that were lost even to the lost sheep of the house of Israel Jesus Christ is an open Fountain or a Fountain opened for sin and for uncleanness where all sinners as well the very greatest as the very least may wash and be for ever clean All weary and heavy laden sinners that is all such as are weary of their sins and find them an intolerable burthen if they come to Jesus Christ they shall be sure to have and find all ease rest and peace TO THE READERS GOOD Readers and Friends such you are to me however I am or may be unto you what God shall cause me here to write as a Preface or Apology is not for my self at all but for you all that is all for you I seek not my self herein God forbid and God forbid I should have a thought or any itching to speak to make you speak in the behalf of me who am a poor man a nothing but sin as I am in my self therefore not fit to be mentioned no other than to be lamented as I am in my self and God to be praised and glorified as I am in him brought home to him living in him and for that I find and know that he liveth in me I have not nor I shall not I trust through Grace ever henceforth go about to speak or write my self but him that hath called me and as he shall inable me and shew forth himself in me and unto me for I desire to forget my self with my whole heart unless to humble me and to exalt the honour and praise of my God who hath not only created me but saved me his I am and his praises I will speak Wherefore all ye that shall come to see these lines and this following discourse I trust that you shall see the Power of God accompanying them and owning them for his own words and works and if you find them not on your own Spirits to be his disown them and me but I dare you so to do who ever you be Read them I willingly would you did and Ah would to God it were all your Portions to read them with a double Portion of his Spirit and prefence which I had when I writ them that he that gave them me would doubly thus give them unto you then I am sure you would never forget his loving kindnesse nor crease to publish his praises you would I am sure be never weary telling others the Love of God to your Souls O God that art all parity brightnesse love mercy and goodnesse Compassionate I most humbly beseech thee the Souls of all those that thou hast appointed to work on by this thy Work it is O God thine not mine I acknowledge it I confesse it I here proclaim and publish it and do for it desire to speak loudly thy Eternal and eveâ—lasting praises fill them all O God with thine all with thy heavenly overflowings wherewith thou hast so abundantly and frequently filled feasted solaced and satisfied my Soul breath into them O God thine own sacred breath and set their affections in a holy flame that they may burn in Love and obedience to thy divine and holy Commandments and ever desire to live in them and never to live out of them and let this heavenly holy fire of thy Love consume all other Love that is in them that is not from thee nor according unto thee that they may be all made holy as thou art holy pure as thou art pure and perfect as thou art perfect that shining in thy brightnesse all that see them may know them to be thine and behold thee in them and they in thee feast them O God as thou hast feasted me fill them with thy self as thou hast often filled me give them and make them partakers of all those heavenly gifts and graces which thou hast many times manifested and given unto me shew them O God shew them thy Kingdom Power and Glory overcome them Ah overcome them with thy ravishing beauty dart into their hearts a beam of thy Divine Light that they may see all things in some measure that are in thee O Lord that are in thee that they may know thee as thou are to be known and labour to purifie them selves as thou art pure Ah Lord array them all with the most beautiful and transcendent glorious Robes of the righteousnesse of Jesus Christ thy dearly beloved Son that having put him on thou maist for ever own them for thine own and love them with that pure perfect and surpassing Love wherewith thou lovest them and give them I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ thine own holy Spirit to direct them to walk obediently and faithfully henceforth in all the waies of thy Commandments to the praise honour and glory of thy most holy and most glorious name the edification of the brethren and the comfort and consolation of their own Souls in the day of the Lod Jesus Christ that when he shall appear at his second coming in glory they may also all of them appear with him Dear Friends I know that God hath not given me what he hath given me for my self alone because that what of it hath been already communicated unto others he hath with the blessing of his own Spirit made it a Spiritual blessing unto them wherefore I have good reason to believe besides the perswasion of divers good Christians that it will also find acceptation among you especially for whose sakes I do what I do that is make it publick wherefore if it should meet with any so desperately critical or devilish as to censure it or me let him or them know that as I fear not so I care not what ever they say or do either against the one or the other because I know that God knoweth both my heart and my thoughts hereon and that is enough to give me boldness to go on to do it and also to rejoyce in the doing of it because he hath and doth perswade me that this my labour shall not be in vain in the Lord. And who ever thou art that any waies censurest it or me I shall as heartily pray for thee and
shall see the foolishnesse of all worldly wisdom and the errours of my own waies the more I have of thee the less I shall have of my self the more thou shalt be pleased to give me the less I shall confess I deserve and the more thou shalt be pleased to lift me up the lower I will cast my self down Ah Lord God teach me to know my self that I may hate my self teach me to know thee rightly not in the history only but in the mystery also not only without but also within that I may love thee in fear and fear thee with true unfaigned sincere spotlesse love wean me O Lord from the world and the worlds loves let me die to the world and to all things in it that I may live to thee Ah take me from the world ere thou takest the world from me fit me for thy self ere thou takest me to thy self let my last daies be my best daies and my last thoughts my best thoughts let me not live one moment longer then to do thee service and let that only be my aim and my end let thy work be my wages and thy wages my work O Lord God in Jesus Christ I most humbly beseech thee to perfect and accomplish that good work which thou hast begun in me for all my hope trust and confidence is in thee that thou wilt never leave me nor forsake me Ah Lord do not leave me to my self at any time for I shall undo in one moment all thy doings so great is my skill power strength mind and will to all evil against all good But O my God do thou continue to restrain my will and constrain it to thy will and to the faithfull and entire obedience of all thy Laws and Divine Commandments Write thy Laws of grace in my heart and thy Statutes in my minde by the finger of thy holy Spirit and suffer me never through any temptation to depart from them but let them be a lanthorn to my feet and a light unto my paths to lead guide direct and govern me in the waies of righteousness and holiness that I may live the life of the righteous in the midst of this crooked froward and perverse generation Ah Lord suffer not the mountains of my sins nor the Rocks of unbelief to hinder thy mercies from descending into my heart by thy holy Spirit nor my prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith Let thy mercies draw me and thy judgements drive me that I may run and not grow weary that I may walk and not faint Be O Lord my God I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ a savour of life unto life to my soul and of death unto death to my sins and let thy holy and most blessed Spirit of grace that knoweth thy whole holy and sacred mind and will lead me teach me direct me and instruct me in all the things I shall take in hand to do and give me O Lord I beseech thee those things and those things only that may draw me nearer and nearer unto thy self to make me thine and only thine that I may be wholly thine holy thine alwaies thine and ever thine that living here in thy fear I may die in thy favour and after death be neade partaker of Eternal life through Jesus Christ my blessed and alone Saviour and Redeemer for whom I desire ever to blesse thee as the Lord my Righteousnesse and to whom with thy glorious holy and sacred Majesty thy eternal and blessed Spirit of grace be given and ascribed by me and all thine as all due is Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving Now and for ever more Amen HEre followes my spiritual soul-Solaces Dictates or Gleanings of Gods Spirit set down in order and from time to time as it shall please the Lord in his goodnesse love and mercy to frame and fit my heart unto With a Journal of several passages as shall hereafter befall me by Providence whereby I may as in a Heavenly looking-glasse see know taste feel and be certainly assured of Gods loving and mercifull dealing towards me and of my daily approach and bringing near and nearer unto my long wished and desired home of heaven through and by the merits of my dear Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ there to sing for ever and ever Hallelujahs of Praise Glory and Thanksgiving unto his most Holy Blessed Eternal and Glorious Name Let O Lord the Meditations of my heart the Words of my mouth and the Works of my hands be ever acceptable in thy sight who art my strength and my Redeemer Spiritual Meditations Being the Gifts and Dictates of GODS SPIRIT Or The hearts Frame and Language that desires to be made Spiritual and to live spiritually 1. O God my God who art all things and givest all things freely willingly abundantly and continually therefore of thee in Jesus Christ do I humbly ask all things 2. Give me thy self O God and I will confess that I have all those things I ask 3. For unless thou givest me thy self I esteem that I have nothing though thou keepest nothing else from me 4. I know that there is no perfect perfection here and therefore we cannot live without sinne but O most gracious and most mercifull Father lay them not to my charge but bury them all past present and to come in the grave of my blessed Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ. 5. I will ever seek thee O God whom my soul loveth desire thee only and lay hold and depend on thee alone 6. Let O God the things of the world be unto me as I was unto thee whilst I was in the world out of thee even as a menstrous cloth and filthy rags 7. Thy mercies O God are the hid Treasures which my heart seeketh and longeth to enjoy 8. Thy love O Christ is much sweeter to my taste than the honey-comb and I desire it much more then gold yea above all the worlds treasure good and glory 9. I am sure I shall be able to rejoyce in and under any yea all afflictions if thou dost not afflict me O my God and my Father in Jesus Christ with thy absence 10. He is in heaven though on earth that doth truly love thee and only love thee and heaven is in him because thy love is in him because thou lovest him thy love O God being the heaven of heaven in heaven the best of heaven 11. Do unto me O God what thou wilt and do but only tell me that thou wilt it 12. Were I in hell for thy sake that is absent from thee I could and would rejoyce for it is my Heaven to please thee my God who hast and dost so much delight me 13. Let me be but esteemed in thy eies Oh my Jesus my sweet my dear and pretious dear delight and I shall not vallue but contemne all the ill looks of all others eies 14. I had much rather be a Paul a Job or a Lazarus then a Solomon
of grace my sole comforter and only comfort 74. Grant that I may will nothing but thy will O thou my Father in Iesus Christ which art in Heaven 75. I had rather have thy smiles in Hell O my sweet and dear Iesus if it could be then thy frowns in Heaven 76. I had much rather if it could be be in Hell and obey God then in Heaven and sin against him 77. O God give me I most humbly beseech thee for Jesus Christ his sake those things and those things only both for soul and body on earth as may prepare me and make me fittest for Heaven 78. I had much rather choose death then choose to sin 79. Though I cannot live without sin here yet whilst I live here suffer me not O God at any time to consent unto sin 80. I do beleive that Christ Jesus is my Jesus and my Christ and that he makes intercession for me every moment and ever will even to my very last moment 81. I had much rather enjoy affliction with enjoying thee O my Saviour then all manner of prosperity if thou do'st not prosper it 82. As long O God as thou givest me bread water and grace I will acknowledge that I have sufficient meat drink and rayment yea that I fare delitiously and am arrayed more gloriously then if I were with purple scarlet and fine linnen 83. To do thy work O God is the wages I desire and which will and shall ever content me 84. Ah Lord I praise thee for that thou hast given me a heart to be willing to part from all things most willingly so I might part from all sin also 85. Dispose of all things as thou wilt O God do but only leave me thy self in possession 86. All good thoughts come in love O God from thee to me but woe me miserable me for that all evil thoughts come from my self in hatred to thee 87. Good Lord make my heart and all my thoughts such that I may be only such and alwayes such as thou would'st have me to be 88. Do thou O Christ live and raigne by thy power and might in me that the mighty power and raigne of sin may be cast out of me 89. Let not the things of the world put thee O Lord out of my mind not sin out of my heart to abhor it 90. Give me O Lord grace and power to Conquer and cast out all worldly lusts and affections out of my heart that there be a place for thee and thee only to dwell in my sweet Jesus 91. Grant O Lord that I may esteem the worlds gifts without thee my Saviour as the Devils gifts that will destroy me 92. Grant O Lord that I may ever beleive and esteem my best duties and performances as from my self to deserve nothing but shame confusion being but as filthy rags and a menstrous cloath and that I am less and less worth at the best then the least of all thy mercies 93. Nothing but thy blood O Lord can wash me nothing but thy death could satisfie for me nothing but thy resurrection can raise me and nothing but thy living can make me live 94. Let thy blessed Ordinances O Lord be more delightfull to me then my meat and drink and sweeter to my tast then the hony and the hony comb let them much more please me then the pleasures of Egypt which are but for a season 95. I had much rather have nothing of the world and hate it then all the world and love it 96. I had rather be the poorest in the world then the richest as for my own good and profit alone 97. I am more affraid of honour then of dishonour of riches then of poverty of high degree then of low degree of applause then of contempt or scorn of health then of sickness and of my life then of my death yet I know that God is all and in all these therefore I will feare neither for I know that that which he giveth is the best and I shall profit best by it 98. Ah that I had so much grace as to be alwayes able to meditate on the love and sweetness that is in my Saviour I would not leave that blessed condition of Communion with him one houre to gaine all that the world hath to give 99. Surely if I could alwaies think on my Saviour I would willingly alwayes think on him I would not only have him in all my thoughts but I would have him be all my thoughts 100. One moments Communion with the Spirit of grace were to be prefer'd incomparably above all the pleasures and sweets of sin though their end were not bitter but sweet 101. I would willingly loose all that I have of the world if so be I could loose the thoughts of it likewise 102. I would much rather have not any thing of the world and be not of the world then have all it hath and be of it 103. I cannot be poorer then to have the world and love it nor richer then to be without the world and hate it 104. Though I cannot remember what I should yet I remember well I never did nor I do not do what I would 105. I had rather say nothing then my own words when I speak by prayer or any other way unto God 106. Oh blessed Spirit Sanctifie my thoughts and my words when I take upon me to speak unto God or of God 107. Oh sweet Jesus present I most humbly beseech thee my prayers and my self unto thy Father that he may receive and accept of both through thy merits and mediation 108. O God my God give me grace so to live as I may be alwayes ready willing and rejoyce to dye let thy time be my time whether it be sleeping or waking on thy day or on ours whil'st I am doing thy work or mine owne thy time and thy will be done O Lord not mine 109. O Lord let me never leave sighing for sin till I leave sinning 110. Let sin O Lord be much more bitterer unto me after repentance then it was sweet before repentance 111. Let me O Lord esteem any death much sweeter then the bitter life of any sin though it live but a moment in me 112. Give me O Lord any affliction unless that which I cannot beare sin 113. Let me live so long here O Lord till I am utterly dead to all sin and sin dead to me and then Lord take me to thy self when thou wilt that I may live for ever to thee and with thee 114. O Lord though thou give me poverty and Contempt with the grace of content I shall be as rich and as honourable as I desire 115. Take my thoughts O Lord from the world and then take the world from me as soon as thou wilt 116. Give me O Lord so much grace to love thee that it may extinguish all other loves that are in me 117. Make me O Lord thy Servant and let me know it and I will
us both abide and let me dwell in thee 163. Let it never seperated be from thee nor me but of two let us be made one and never more be alone 164. My whole desire O Lord is to do thy will it is to thee and to remember thee 165. O Lord lead me by thy holy and blessed Spirit that I may never be led astray 166. Let me not O Lord do any thing by my self as for my self but all things by thy self and for thy self 167. Be thou alwayes with me that I may never be without thee O most holy and blessed Spirit my Sanctifier that I may be all and alwayes sanctified 168. Let me love thee O Lord more for thy service sake then for my souls sake 169. Let me desire and long for Heaven more to do thy will then to have my will 170. O Lord if thou wert not in Heaven I would not desire Heaven but my desire should be to be with thee 171. O Lord let the same desires be in me whilst I am on earth as shall be in me when I am in Heaven 172. The desire of my heart and soul O Lord thou knowest is only to thee and for thee and to be alwayes guided by thee 173. Increase this holy desire in me O Lord untill my soul and body shall be filled with thy blessed fulness 174. O sweet Jesus dwell in me ever and goe not out of me never for when I have thee Lord I have all that I desire and crave 175. I am most willing and ready to loose my life to preserve thee O Lord but not to preserve my life to loose thee 176. O Lord what thou hast given me which is all take when thou wilt and in what manner thou wilt 177. Make O Lord thine own Conditions with me I will make none with thee but to obey thee and serve thee on thine own terms 178. Teach me O Lord to know my self as thou knowest me and to hate my self for sin as thou lovedst me when I was in my sin 179. I desire to hate sin as the Devil to fear sin as Hell and to fly from sin as from thy wrath O great God 180. With thee I desire to leave and give my self O sweet Jesus receive me and accept of me 181. O Lord go with me where I am to go that I may be alwayes with thee never from thee nor do any thing without thee 182. O Lord let me only do what thou consentest unto 183. I fear sin much more then the Author of sin 184. Sin is my worst my greatest and my strongest Enemy 185. Give me Grace and strength O sweet Jesus to Conquer sin and I shall not fear all other Enemies 186. Had I but one sin unforgiven and thou should'st O Lord make me my own Iudge I should and could not do other wayes then condemne my self for ever into Hell 187. I desire ever to magnifie Laud praise and extoll thy glorious name O Lord God for making Iesus Christ my Iudge whom thou hast appointed also to be my advocate 188. Were I to choose I would choose no other for both 189. For sure I am I cannot loose my cause if he plead it nor be condemned he Iudging me who was Iudged and condemn'd for me 190. He dyed for me and therefore I shall not see that death 191. He hath paid my ransome and therefore I must be acquitted 192. He hath suffered and therefore I shall ever raign 193. He wore a Crown of Thornes that I might ever weare a Crown of Eternall and incomprehensible weight of Glory 194. He is risen and hath led Captivity Captive that I might be delivered for ever out of all Captivity 195. He is ascended up on high and therefore I am sure he will lift me unto him 196. He is gone to prepare a place for me therefore I am sure I shall be for ever well plac'd 197. He is sate down on the right hand of God and hath convinc'd and Conquer'd all my accusers and enemies therefore I shall in quiet rest and perfect peace sit down with him and by him 198. He hath all power and Authority given him by God therefore I am sure no power shall or can hurt me 199. He hath provided a place for all his Children and Servants therefore I will not be afraid nor fear 200. He hath promised and he is faithfull therefore I will believe and not doubt but rejoyce 201. O Lord let me fear nothing but thee nor love â—othing but thy feare 202. My love O Lord to thee is surely thy 〈…〉 203. O Lord put the vaile of thy fear before my eyes and my heart that I may not sin against thee by neâ—ther 204. Ah Lord God suffer me never more to doubt of thy love seeing thou hast so freely and willingly given the Son of thy love even thy dear only eldest naturall and beloved Son Jesus Christ to dye for me and in my place and stead 205. Ah sweet Jesus Be thou pleased so to take up thy aboad in my heart and to dwell there as I may alwayes find thee there to comfort me and to direct me how to walk well pleasing unto thee let me always hear thee speaking to me how I shall do every thing I take in hand to do so that all my thoughts words and deeds may tend only to thy honour and glory the Credit of the Gospel the good of others and the eternall Salvation of mine own soul. 206. Ah Lord give me grace in all afflictions to consider that its much less then I deserve and that thou mightest justly have sent them on me sooner 207. Hell O Lord I confess is only my desert what less thou givest me is more then I have or can deserve and less punishment then the least of my sins hath deserved 208. Therefore in all Conditions I desire to bless thy name and to praise thee with a thankfull contented and rejoycing heart 209. Le O Lord all thy afflictions teach me and tell me that thou art mindfull of me and that they are friendly yea Fatherly Visitations and tokens of thy Fatherly true love in Iesus Christ. 210. O Lord suffer me not to sell my portion in Heaven for any Portion of earth on earth the honours riches or pleasures thereof 211. Let even this Portion thy service and work O God be preferred by me and be dearer to me then all things of this world 212. A Christian once in Christ united to him cannot be taken out of him no more then the same water cast into the Sea can be taken out again for he is become a part of Christ even as the drops that fall into the Sea are forthwith a part thereof 213. Seeing then thou hast made me one with thee received me a little drop into thy self the Ocean of blessedness and of all goodness happiness and felicity My sweet Jesus I am sure I shall never be separated from thee 214. Let me O God so live the
remainder of all my life here on earth as that thou maiest not be ashamed to be called my God and to give me eternall life hereafter in Heaven 215. O sweet glorious and glorified Iesus inhabiting Eternity from all Eternity look not on me as I am in my self without thee but as one in thee even as a member of thy blessed self 216. Love me O Lord God with thine own love even with that love in Iesus Christ wherewith thou lovest thine own 217. When O Lord I have thee though alone I have what I desire yea and all that I desire for thou art all and the only desire of all my desires 218. Give me O Lord thy self though without any thing else and I will never ask thee any thing else 219. But though thou dost O God give me all things else and not thy self I shall account it even as nothing 220. Having thee alone My dear Iesus I have all things and having not thee I have nothing that I truly love 221. Give me then thy self and that shall content me but unless thou dost give me thy self I am resolved never to be contented 222. Give me then so thy self O Lord who art my delight as I may do all things by thee and nothing at all without thee 223. Give me so thy blessed self as I may alwayes enjoy thee beholding thy glorious face and the light of thy blessed Countenance and may hear thy most sweet and comfortable voyce to comfort revive and refresh me 224. Be thou O Lord mine all and let me be thine all 225. Though I much fear and would not commit any sin yet I am not at all afraid of all the sins I have committed 226. Though I know that God hates all sins yet I much rejoyce that I was made a sinner 227. Though I know that God justifies the ungodly yet I would not be ungodly 228. Though I know that grace doth abound more then sin yet I would not sin that grace may abound 229. Did I doubt of the pardon of my sins to have their pardon I would not choose willingly to commit one sin 230. Ah Lord do not only pardon all my sins but give me grace to sin no more 231. Let me O Lord be as unwilling to live in sin as to dye in sin 232. Let me fear as much the committing of any sin as the punishment of all my sins I have committed fear sin before committed as the punishment after committed yea fear sin more then the punishment of sin choose the punishment and not sin rather then sin and have no punishment 233. Let me hate sin most because it is sin and therefore most to be hated 234. Let me hate sin as much after pardoned as before and before committed as after 235. Let me O Lord hate sin as thou lovest a sinner that would not sin 236. Let me be O Lord as unwilling to commit sin as thou art willing to pardon them when committed 237. Let me even be as unwilling to commit any sin as thou O Lord art willing to pardon all sins 238. Let me O Lord die to all sin that I may live to all grace 239. Though O Lord I know that thou pardonest all sins and transgressions yet suffer me not willingly to choose or commit any sin nor consent to any Transgression 240. Let sin dye that grace may live Let grace live that sin may dye 241. Let sin dye in me that thou mayest O Lord live in me 242. Let me dye to sin that I may O Lord live to thee 243. Let me O Lord dye to sin whilst I live that I may not dye in sin when I am dead 244. Let me O Lord so dye here to sin that I may not dye hereafter for sin 245. O Lord let me so dye as I may not dye Eternally 246. Let sin O Lord be rooted out of me that I may be rooted in thee and thou in me my sweet and saving Iesus 247. Let me O Lord be so rooted in thee as I may never be rooted out of thee 248. Let me Lord take such deep root That I may bring forth much fruit 249. Let my root be such in thee That my fruit be much to me Let my fruit be such to thee That the fruit be like the Tree 250. Let O Lord my death to sin appear by the appearance of the life of grace 251. Let me O Lord so live as I may never dye but to sin 252. Let me O Lord so live to thee here as I may ever live with thee and in thee hereafter 253. Were not thy work O God the work of my Salvation yet would I prefer it and do it before that of my Salvation A Prayer AH most blessed Incomprehensible and Eternall Lord God Glorious in Holiness fearfull in Praises doing wonders the Heavens are not pure in thy sight and yet thou art gratiously pleased in Jesus Christ to look down and to dwell in poor man who is sinfull Dust and Ashes thou livest only in the highest Heavens and in the lowest hearts the one is thy Kingdome of Glory the other of thy grace good Lord make my heart so low in my own esteem as it may be so high in thine that thou may'st make it thy delight to dwell in it for even Ah Lord when I consider all that thou hast done for me and all that I have done against thee I am ashamed and confusion seems to cover my face as a vaile having O Lord transgrest all thy holy and just Lawes and broken wilfully willingly knowingly and presumptuously all thy Divine Commandements from the first to the last from the greatest to the least as well by Commission as Omission as well by actuall sin as Originall sin knowingly as well as ignorantly both wilfully and willingly on thy dayes as well as on our dayes in thy house as in other houses in doing thy work as in doing my own work in duties as well as out of duties praying sins reading sins meditating sins Sermon sins and Sacrament sins so that my repentance must be repented off and my Prayers Prayed against even my sighs and groans have need of tears to wash them and my very tears of doubled tears How Lord have I made thy holy things unholy unto my self and turned thy graces into wantonness and quencht the motions of thy holy Spirit by wilfulness how Lord have I treasured up wrath against the day of wrath unto my poor soul and made thee a savour of death unto it when thou comest as a Savour of life how have I Lord hated to be reformed and turned from thee when thou camest running towards me in love and in mercy how have I cast thy promises behind my back and trampled thy precepts under my feet how many times have I broken my Promises Vows and Covenants made with thee in my straights with how much more eagerness and earnestness have I served my sinfull Lusts then thee in thy services my good Lord
God and how much more pains have I taken for earthly things then for Heavenly how much more delightsome have these things below and the remembrance of them been unto me then the things above how much sweeter hath sin been to me then grace and how have I bent my will against thy great and holy will in all things how willingly and how fast O Lord did I run in the wayes of Eternal destruction and how good Lord have I vehemently delighted and laboured to make others to commit the same sins and to do the same things how easily and how willingly did I believe the suggestions of the Devil and with what willingness have I left thy work and how often good Lord to do his nay which is yet worse how often have I tempted him the tempter to tempt me unto sin when I knew that the wages of sin was death even Temporal Spiritual and Eternall for body and soul doing my very utmost to destroy both But what O Lord are all these sins to those I do not to those I cannot remember and that both for greatness and multitude yea what are all the sins I have committed to those I would have committed had'st not thou in love and in mercy O most gratious loving and most mercifull Father in Jesus Christ restrained me and come in continually unto my help succour even when I was altogether helpless and succourless thou did'st O Lord own me when I would not own thee thou did'st run after me when I did my utmost to run from thee thou did'st O Lord continue knocking when I would not open to thee and wert'st contented such was thy endearing loving love unto me to stand at the dore of my heart without untill thy locks were wet with the dew of Heaven and when I was most pitiless then did'st thou most pity me and took'st me from my self and out of the power of all my adversaries and didâ—st enter with ferceable possession into my heart there to lodge sup and dwell for ever which though thou foundest to be more unclean then a dunghill and is not this enough to cause all the Creatures in Heaven and Earth to stand amazed and with wonder and astonishment to admire the condescention of so great a God as thou art Ah Lord God what could I more desire nay what could'st thou do more for me then thou hast done to bring me out of the death of sin to the life of grace out of the suburbs of Hell into the suburbs of Heaven me thinks Ah me thinks I may truly say out of Hell it self into Heaven it self such a vast difference there is such a blessed and glorious change there is already blessed and ever magnified and praised be thy ever blessed great and most glorious name of Jehovah my strength and my Portion Thou hast not only O Lord delivered me out of the pawes of that rearing Lyon the Devil who had almost devoured me but hast given me of thine own power and strength to overcome him to trample him under my feet and to despite him to his very face thou hast discovered unto me his falseness and malice and the wickedness and the deceitfulness of my own deceitfull wicked heart that did thus betray me Ah Lord what can I such a poor wretch as I am render unto thee for all thy benefits I am a worm and no man the greatest and the chiefest of sinners the very worst of the worst of men O Lord accept of what I have to give thee of these two poor mites my soul and body true O Lord I confess and acknowledge that they are not worthâ— to be put into thy rich Treasury but if thou wilt be pleased to stamp on them the glorious Image of thy Son Jesus Christ I am sure they will pass for currant coyne in thy Heavenly Court and thou thine own self wilt esteem them of thy peculiar Treasure O Lord set me as a seal upon thy heart and let thy love be setled upon mine that I may be out of love with all that I may be only in love with thee and let all my members and faculties be but as instruments to act thy holy and blessed motions Ah Lord God good as great and great as good when wilt thou by thine Almighty power utterly destroy and root out all sin out of me when shall the time O Lord come that it shall be Crucified unto me and I unto it when shall the time come that I shall see it no more when shall the time come that thou wilt O Lord give me a finall Victory over it and totally destroy it when Lord shall come that blessed day wherein I shall not sin when I shall put off sin as an old garment and never more put it on when all tears fears sighs and groans for sins shall be expell'd and extinquished when thou O Lord my sweet and blessed Iesus shalt only be my all and my all But grant good Lord though sin be in my heart that my heart be not in sin and though sin rule over me as a Tyrant let it Ah let it never raigne in me a moment as a Soveraigne and though I cannot live without sin yet good Lord for thy goodness sake let me live without consenting unto delighting in or approving of any sin whatsoever either in thought word or deed but let there be alwayes and continually in me a heedfull watchfull carefull Circumspect care though temptations fall on me let me not fall into temptation but deliver me from all evil O thou my Father which art in Heaven and cause me to work out my Salvation with fear and trembling and to labour more and more to make my calling and election sure before I goe hence and be no more seen And knowing Lord that thou hast in the abundance of thy love and mercy provided for me a Kingdome which cannot be shaken let me have grace in my heart to come before thee and to worship thee the true God with reverence and godly fear that I may alwayes run and not grow weary and walk and not faint write O Lord all thy Lawes of grace in my heart and thy Statutes of Love in my mind by the finger of thy holy and blessed Spirit that I may never goe astray to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits weane me O Lord from the world ere thou take me out of the world and whilst I do live in the world let me be dead to it and to all the things of it which are the honours riches and pleasures thereof the lust of the flesh the lust of the eye and the pride of life and give me those things and those things only which may make me thine and only thine that I may be alwayes thine and ever thine Teach me O Lord to use the world as if I used it not that I may not abuse it my self nor thee who hast given it me to use but not to abuse
give me O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Iesus Christ grace to be alwayes mindfull of my last end and of the reckoning that I must make before thee the judge of Heaven and Earth take away all my doubts fears and cares for the things of this life that I may cast all my care on thee who carest for me for the earth is thine and the fulness thereof grant O Lord that I may know how to want and how to abound and to be alwayes content in all conditions knowing that all things shall be for my greatest good and that though affliction be in the night yet joy shall come in the morning grant O Lord I beseech thee that my last thoughts may be my best thoughts and my last dayes O Lord my best dayes grant O Lord that I may be willing to loose all to gain thee and to esteem it no less but great gaine grant that I may be willing to decrease that thou maist O Lord increase to spend and to be spent for thee and to follow thee the Lamb of Righteousness wheresoever thou goest grant that I may be as willing to weare the Crown of Thorns to obey thee here as the Crown of Glory to praise thee hereafter and grant O Lord that I may be as willing to suffer for thy glory as to raigne with thee in glory and that I may desire Heaven much more for thee then thee for Heaven Ah Lord I could be content With Mary to sit at thy feet and to wash them with my tears and to stand behind thee being altogether ashamed to come before thee how willingly O Lord how willingly do I with Jeremy wish that my head were a Fountaine of water that mine eyes might gush out Rivers of Tears and Ah that I could with David weep continually with Magdalen abundantly and with Peter bitterly that I might give my soul no rest untill I come into thy blessed Arms the blessed joyfull saving Ark of Rest which shall for ever cause me to flote and swim above all the storms and tempests of sin and Satan and grant O Lord that having past the time of my Pilgrimage here in thy fear I may dye in thy favour unite me O Lord I most humbly beseech thee so nâ—gh unto thy self that I may be made bone of thy bone and flesh of thy flesh make me a member of thy Mysticall body here that I may be for ever a member of thy glorious body hereafter Ah Lord God in Jesus Christ I beseech thee to sanctifie all afflictions and Temptations unto me and lay no more upon me at any time in body or mind then thou shalt in thy goodness and for thy glory in able me to bear and take not thy holy and blessed spirit the Sanctifier and the Comforter from me be thou my help in want my strength in weakness my joy in sorrow my comfort in grief my riches in poverty my palace in Prison my home in banishment my health in sickness and my life in death let thy blessedness in thee O Lord cause me to see my cursedness out of thee let thy overflowing fulness cause me to see my emptiness thy beauty my ugly deformity thy light my darkness thy glory my ignominy thy riches my poverty thy obedience my disobedience thy perfection my imperfection thy holiness my unholiness thy glory my shame thy wisdome my folly thy strength my weakness thy goodness my badness thy Heaven of happiness blessedness my Hell of unhappiness wretchedness thy all things my nothing Ah sweet Jesus that camest down from Heaven on earth to lift me up from earth to Heaven thou took'st my nature on thee to make me partaker of thine own holy blessed and divine nature thou becamest the Son of man to make me the Son of God thou becam'st O Lord my Lord an heire of misery to make me an heir of mercy yea Co-heire with thy self of Heavens great glory and eternal happiness felicity and blessedness which is thy Father self and holy spirit three persons but one God thou wert O sweet Jesus Lamb of God Son of God made a curse that I might be made a blessing thou would'st dye once that I might likewise dye but once and then live with thee for ever and for ever thou did'st O King of Glory weare a Crowne of Thornes that I might weare a Crown of Glory thou wert lifted up on the Cross to lift me up unto thee thine arms nayl'd abroad to shew how willing thou wert to imbrace me thy feet nail'd together to shew thy willingness never to goe from me thy head hanging down to shew thy Willingness to kiss me with the kisses of thy mouth of thy love for ever thy heart opened with a speare even to let me in there thus did'st thou shew by the Crown of Thorns on thy head the height of thy love by the nayling of thy feet the length of thy love by the spreading abroad of thy arms the breadth of thy love and by the opening of thy side the sheding of thy heart blood the depth of thy love O blessed God O most blessed love there is no God like unto thee nor was there ever love like unto this thy love thou did'st O Christ thou did'st suffer thy Fathers frowns that I might have his smiles thou did'st O Christ thou did'st drink up the dreggs of thy Fathers wrath even Vineger mingled with Gall that I might sweetly solace my self by drinking to thee the bottomless bottom of his endless love thou did'st O Christ my Saviour thou did'st bear all my sins that I might appear without sin thou did'st O Christ my Readeemer thou did'st shed all thy heart blood to wash me from the filthiness of my own blood and from the guilt of this thy blood shedding thou had'st O Christ thou had'st by face much more glorious then the Sun defaced with Spittle that mine might shine even as thine gloriously in glory though not so gloriously glorious thou had'st O Christ thou had'st thy body whipped that by thy stripes I might be healed thou wert O Christ thou wert thus wounded that by thy deadly wounds I might be ever Cured O love infinite and incomprehensible beyond degree an offended God dyes to set offending man free Ah Love that surpasseth all understanding ah goodness that surpasseth all love that wert in love mercy and goodness pleased to do this for me not when I was a friend but an enemy not when I was in Covenant with thee but when I was out of Covenant not when I loved thee but when I hated thee not when I was lovely but loveless not when I was holy but unholy not when I desired it but when I desired it not not for asking it but when I askt it not not for having done any thing for thee but even then when I did all that I could against thee not when I was thy Servant but a Servant of the Devils and all this O God my God that
this I know that he that giveth grace to will will also give grace to do for both to will and to do is from the good will of God 22. When I do any thing that is good that 's from the good spirit of God in me but when I do any thing that is evil that 's from the evil spirit of sin which is in me and Tyranizeth over me 23. All the will I have to good is from thy good will my good God but all the will I have to evil is from my own evil will 24. Ah Lord how hard do I find it to the flesh to do what I should nay what I would and how easie Ah Lord how easie to do that which I should not and would not 25. Do thou therefore O Lord I most humbly beseech thee work in me both to will and to do according to thy good will and pleasure 26. That as to please thee O Lord is the desire of my will yea my wills only desire so not to please thee my God I had rather yea much rather dye then will with my will willingly 27. Let thy holy will O God be my whole will and thy whole will be made holy in me by doing it wholly and holily by the powerfull assistance of thy holy Spirit 28. To will thy will O God with my heart is thy will O Lord written by thy self in my heart 29. Let then thy will be in my heart that with my heart I may both will and do thy good will my good God 30. When with my heart I think on thee Then from all sin my heart is free Let then my heart still think on thee That from all sin I may still flee Lord take my heart and make it thine That to no sin it may incline 31. The best of our best is so bad that our all is worth nothing at all 32. If then our best good be so bad our holy things so unholy Ah Lord how unholy is our unholyness and how bad and evil is our worst evil the evil of our worst things 33. It is not my studious care but thy care O Lord of my study that makes both my study and care prosperous and advantageous 34. It is from thee O Lord my God that I have all that I have Ah give me this mercy also to be as willing to give it thee back when thou wilt have it as I was willing to receive it when thou gavest it 35. When man speaks to man it can take no effect but when God speaks to man what ever he speaks it shall take effect 36. Let O Lord thy speaking to me and in me be effectuall for the better and not for the worse of my soul a savour of life unto life and not of death unto death of life to my soul and of death to my sins 37. I had rather hear and learn one thing from the wisdome of God then a thousand thousand from the wisdome of men 38. Let all thy truths in me O God be confirmed to me by the powerfull wisdome and working of thy holy spirit 39. Gods voyce brings me alwayes joy and comforts my sad heart but mans voyce causeth me alwayes grief and saddens my joyfull heart 40. I had rather be ever alone with God and want all other things then be one day without him to have and gaine and keep all other things besides him 41. For when God is in me then am I in Heaven but when God is not in me then am I in Hell for thy presence to me Lord is to me Heaven upon earth and thy absence O Lord Hell upon earth 42. It is thy self O Lord thy blessed self that I desire and not the desires of my other desires 43. When I have thee Lord I have all my desires and yet when I have thee not I do not because I cannot desire thee 44. So impotent am I as not able to will or desire my own good so poor a wretch as not of my self to wish my self rich so much a slave as to be content yea willing and delight to ever to be a slave yea the worst of slaves even to my own sinfull lusts although I know they will if lived in drown me for ever in the pit of Eternall destruction from which good Lord ever deliver me as thou hast delivered me keep me out as thou hast hitherto kept me out and preserve me to my lives end as thou hast preserved me from the beginning that I may ever live to thee for thee and to praise thee ever and for ever 45. Thou hast in mercy O God my God brought thy self thy ever sweet blessed gratious and most glorious self to mee ah bring my self in love and obedience home unto thee 46. My words Ah my words I know well are but words and the breathings of a sinfull man but thy words O my Lord I well know also that they are the breathings of a holy God 47. Grant O God my God that all my words may breath out sorrow for sin and thy words breath in me the assurance of the pardon of sin 48. For whose sins O Lord thou forgivest thou also forgettest whom thou pardonest thou wilt save for where thou lovest thou livest and wilt I am sure ever live there in love 49. To be taught by thee O God of wisdome is to be well taught make me O Lord make me I beseech thee as willing to learn of thee as thou art willing to teach me 50. And give me grace O God to retayne what I shall learn of thee that I may forget what I have learnt of my self and the world 51. If earths sweets are so sweet to earthly minds as they prefer it to the sweet of Heaven Ah how sweet are Heavens sweets to heavenly minds and how do they prefer it to all the sweets on earth 52. How much sweeter O my God is the hony of thy word to the tast of my inward man then the hony-Comb of the world to the tast of my outward man 53. I had much rather say nothing then my own words do nothing then my own works and have nothing then all my own desires 54. Ah Lord God give me grace to live in Heaven whil'st on earth by doing thy will on earth as it is done in Heaven 55. They are not the words of the mouth but of the heart that are agreeable and well pleasing to thy heart O my God the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts 56. He that hath his heart right all things that he doth and doth not are right dear and pretious in thy sight and according to thy heart O God the giver and maker of all hearts 57. When I sleep O God thou art still by me And when I wake I am still with thee So that whether I sleep or whether I wake I am sure O Lord thou dost me never forsake 58. To believe in God is to know God to know him is to love
him to love him is to fear him and to fear him is to serve him and to serve him is to obey him and to obey him is to do his will and to do his will is to give up our wills to his will and to give up our wills to his will is to rejoyce in all things that he doth and wills and to rejoyce in all things that he doth and wills is to have a heart according to his own heart 59. It is not what I do or can do but what I would do that best pleaseth thee my God who giveth both to will and to do 60. O Lord let not what or any thing of that I do please me untill I am sure that it please thee 61. O Lord suffer me not to seek my own delight but let my delight be to delight thee who art the delight of my soul and in whom only my soul delighteth 62. If thy back parts O Lord do so much rejoyce my heart here on earth how shall thy face cause me to rejoyce in Heaven where I shall see thee face to face and know thee as thou art to be known 63. And seeing it is my only grief on earth that I have offended thee my God by sin it shall be my only joy in Heaven to praise thee for that thou art not offended with me for my sins 64. Give me O my God for Christ his sake thy Kingdome and thy Glory that I may give thee honour and glory for ever in thy Kingdome of glory 65. And till that day shall be give me grace O my sweet and saving Jesus so to watch and to waite that when thy Kingdome shall come I may rejoyce and say thy will O Lord be done and so enter into the joy of my Lord even into the Lord of my joy 66. To do thy will O God is all the thoughts and desires of my heart and will and in doing thy will is all the joyes delights and ravishments of my willing heart thus made willing through thine own good will 67. I know well that it s thou in me my dear and sweet Jesus that causeth my desires to desire thee and the heart of my soul to hunger and thirst for thee and also that giveth me boldness to speak unto thee 68. O Lord I desire nothing but what thou wilt and all that thou wilt I willingly would and willingly would nothing but what thou wilt 69. I had rather do thy will O my God on earth for thy self and thy sake then be in Heaven for my own self and my own sake thy service is dearer to me then my soul. 70. I had much rather do the least work for God then have the greatest good and benefit for my self 71. Whatsoever O Lord thou wilt have me to be doe and suffer that I willingly would be and long to do and suffer and to have and no other 72. Wilt thou O Lord have me poor afflicted persecuted banisht evil spoken off tormented tempted all these Lord and what else thou wilt so thou come with them I shall rejoyce in them and most willingly receive them 73. It is not Lord what I desire only but what thou hast ordained that I only desire 74. I know and am assured that thou wilt O Lord sooner cast the earth into the Sea and remove the Heavens then take any of thy love from those whom thou lovest 75. For seeing sin cannot nor shall not separate us Lord what shall what can 76. It is fixt on thy own love O Father in Jesus Christ thy Son most lovely and therefore unchangeable unmoveable 77. It is from thy great Love O my God that I find thee lovely but thy love is greater for that I love thee and yet more greater that I love thee only but more greater then all it is that thou hast ever loved and wilt ever love me 78. Ah love that passeth all degree the offended dyes to set the offenders free 79. It is thy mercy O God that I am not past mercy that I contemne not mercy that I know mercy that I value mercy that I prize mercy that I seek mercy that I hope for mercy am assured of mercy and that I desire the same mercyes for all others that are not past mercy 80. To will thy will O God is to do thy will when we would as willingly do it be it what it will as we will it 81. To serve thee best and most or to do thee O God most and best service is in most submitting to thy will be it what it will 82. It is not the work of the hand or of the head but of the heart that is according ot thy heart and most delighteth thy heart O my God the maker and the giver of all good hearts 83. To wait is better then to work if thou shewest us not what work is thy work and what work we shall do 84. Let me not O God ever ask any other condition then my present condition and alwaies submit to thy will in my condition as often as thou shalt change my condition and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best 85. And let chearfulness witness my contentedness and my contentedness be shown by my chearfulness 86. Ah Lord my Lord if thou did'st not at times afflict me how often should I Ah how often should I afflict thee 87. But I mightily desire to magnifie praise thee O my God for that I find when affliction comes on me thou comest with it and dost alwayes abundantly comfort me yea my greatest comforts have been when thou seemest as if thou would'st afflict me that is even in affliction 88. If affliction should goe from me I fear I should goe from all good which is from God 89. Afflict me O Lord so much as thou wilt and so often as thou pleasest so that in it I afflict not thee 90. In affliction I fear but out of affliction Ah Lord I consess I am careless Ah too too careless 91. Affliction makes me O Lord to run to thee to cry loud after thee and to importune thee for thy presence but out of affliction I goe softly I speak softly and know not how to beg with importunity 92. If the outward man receive such joy and delight in the Creature and by conversing with them Ah what joy delight and ravishment doth the inward man receive having Communion with God and enjoying his deare Creator 93. If earth and the things below be able to satisfie any surely surely Heaven and the things above shall be able and will satisfie all for every one there shall enjoy God who is all and in all 94. Seeing Heaven on earth is so sweet Ah how sweet is Heaven in Heaven or the Heaven of Heaven which is our God 95. And seeing Heavens joyes are so great on earth Ah how greatly great are they in Heaven 96. Ah sweet most ravishing sweet Jesus let me enjoy them so here that I
may long to be dissolved and to be in Heaven to enjoy them there Ah to enjoy thee thee there 97. Seeing one drop or tast of them is so delitious Ah how delitiously and delightfully are they fed that feed on them continually and shall feed on them for ever and ever 98. Grant O my God that sins sweets be to me bitter and Heavens bitter be to me sweet and that I may alwayes prefer Heavens bitterest to sins sweetest and never to find any sweet in the sweets of sin 99. I had rather see Christ with spirituall eyes then in the flesh with the eyes of the flesh and to have him in my heart then in my arms 100. Christ only can make us spiritually hungry and he only can feed us with the bread of life from him we have our spirituall thirsting and he he only can give us to drink of those living waters the fountaine of life being in him only 101. Were there as many worlds to be offered me as there would be minutes from Eternity to Eternity I would not nay praised be God I could not give my hope and my interest in my Jesus to enjoy all their riches honours and pleasures unto all Eternity 102. For by how much he is above all things and more worth then all things by so much yet by so much more do I value my interest in him above all things for all things to God can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing 103. For God is all things and I am sure of him and therefore I have all things sure 104. He that believes in Christ loves him and he that loves him fears him and he that fears him obeys him and he that loves fears obeys and believes in him must and will walk as he walked 105. We can both will and do our own wills which are evil but we can neither will nor do thy will O God which is all and only good 106. Give me then grace O God the God and giver of all grace to deny my own will to hate and forsake my own will that I wholly and perfectly do thy perfect and holy will 107. Let me then O God my God so will to do as I may only do thy will for my whole will is that thy holy will be doâ—e on me and in me that I may do thy will here on earth O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven 108. Give me then thy self my sweet Jesus that I may please thy self for without thee I shall be still my self and displeasing still to thee 109. For I am all evil and thou O God art all good I am all Hell and thou art all Heaven Ah thou my God that can'st do all things turn my evil unto good that my Hell may be brought into thy Heaven 110. Joy in fear and by reason of fear for every man hath a double fear till he have perfect love that casteth out all fear 111. Fear causeth me to doubt and fear causeth me to believe fear bringeth me grief and fear bringeth me joy fear casteth me down to Hell and fear raiseth me up to Heaven fear causeth me to distrust and fear causeth me to trust fear affrights me with sadness and fear comforts me with rejoycings for if I did not fear I might justly be afraid if I did not fear the want of grace I might justly fear I had no grace if I did not fear falling I fear I should fall indeed But though through fear I am many times afraid yet I would not be without fear though I should be alwayes afraid for fear causeth me to put away fear and not to fear fear nor to be afraid of fear through fear I trust I beleive I rejoyce and I hope I shall be for ever brought out and freed from all fear 112. Happy is the man that feareth alwayes Prov. 28. 14. 113. Ah Lord my God that art most faithfull and most true make me I most humbly beseech thee in Iesus Christ truly faithfull all my life that I may be faithfull even unto the death and then for ever to enjoy thy gratious promise of that Crown of life 114. Make me faithfully obedient unto thee in all things O Lord all my life that at death I may receive thy faithfull promise of that Crown of glory and life that I may ever live to glorifie thee O Lord of all glory by an Eternall and Everlasting life 115. Any thing of all that man can do as man God will not accept but all things that God doth man should accept and likewise know and beleive that he doth all things and therefore ought accept all things 116. Mans best all all mans best is worse then all but Gods least all the least of God is above all and more worth then all 117. When I have thee my God I have all yea all that I would have But Ah when I want thee when I have thee not when thou art absent and seemest to be departed or but estranged from me I want all am without all and possess nothing even nothing at all though I have even all other possessions 118. Let my all O Lord be all in thee That thou maist be all unto me 119. I am much more offended that I have offended my God then I am afraid that my God is offended with me 120. I much more fear my sins to come then my sins past because my fear for my sins past is already past but my fear is alwayes present for my sins to come yea it is my only fear and that which afrights me only 121. When I consider and ponder on the much joy that I enjoy to the little I deserve to enjoy and yet that this much is little to that which I hope and believe I shall enjoy Ah how my heart is filled and ravished with unspeakable joy 122. All glory be given to thee O God the God and giver of all gifts of all grace and of all glory Amen Amen In Bourdeaux Anno 1656. O Lord God I most humbly and most hartily beg and beseech thee be thou gratiously pleased in love and in mercy in and through Iesus Christ to be with me thy poor and unworthy Servant here in this place where thou hast by thy Providence brought me at all times as thou hast been with me in all other places at other times that thy power and thy might may be seen in me and thy holy and blessed spirit leading guiding governing and directing me in all things that I shall take in hand to do that I may by grace walk uprightly in the mid'st of this crooked froward and perverse generation and that they seeing my good works that is thou O God working in me they may glorifie thy great and holy name O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven Ah Lord suffer me not here following to write my own words but thine not seek my self with selfish love but thy self with true sincere unfaigned
love to thy self not mine honour but thine honour not my praise but thy praise not my glory but thy glory my souls salvation and the good benefit and advantage of others and all I beg and what else thou knowest to be needfull for me for Jesus Christ my blessed only alone Saviour and Mediator and Redeemers sake Amen A Prayer O All holy Almighty Infinite and Incomprehensible wise glorious gratious good mercifull patient sweet lovely loving and most blessed and ever blessed Lord God thou art not only holy but holiness it self not only wise but wisdome it self not only good but goodness it self not only merciful but mercy it self not only patient but patience it self not only sweet but sweetness it self not only love and loving but love it self not only strong but strength it self not only powerfull but all power it self not only great but greatness it self not only mighty but Almighty and might it self not only blessed but blessedness all blessedness it self not only happy but possessing all happiness making all happy that are happy being happiness it self all good O God is in thee and comes forth from thee thou containest all things being all things all things being in thee but art contained by none thou art what thou wilt be and therefore willest what thou wilt it is thy honour and thy glory that thou art what thou art all thy doings are wonderfull and like thy self holy just and true thou art all things do'st all things and givest all things freely willingly abundantly and continually never repenting repyning nor upbrayding glorious thou art in holiness fearfull thou art in praises doing wonders all thy works do praise thee Ah let me thy unworthy unnatural disobedient sinful and wretched Creature in my self out of thee do the same every moment and all the moments of my life by all my thoughts words and actions both at home and abroad that thy power O God and thy might even thine Almighty power may be alwayes seen in me and shew forth to thy glory that thou abidest and dwellest in me so that all that shall behold me may love thee and long for thee running after thee to obtaine thee and so by enjoying thee may likewise praise thee O God I know that thou do'st all that thou wilt and willest all that thou dost thou art as willing as able and as able as willing as great as good and as good as great nothing can hinder thee nothing can deprive thee of being what thou art for before any thing was thou wert all things have their all from thee thou art the Alpha and the Omega the beginning and the end it is the greatest and the cheifest joy of all the Angells and Saints in Heaven and on earth that thou art what thou art and that they belong unto thee and that thou art pleased to own them for thine own thy glory is their glory thine end their aime thy will their wills their chief desire to be is to please thee O God to please thee and to adore thee without thee we know we can do nothing nor should be nothing thou O Lord God art our all and our all for all our springs are in thee and from thee And now O Lord God I come at this time before thee to speak a word unto thee but I find my self as unable as unfit and as unfit as unable being empty of all good and full fit and ready for any or all evils such O Lord thou knowest is my wretched and miserable nature averse unto all that is good and prone unto all that is evil but thou O my God in Jesus Christ that art all good and able to do all good fill O Lord fill I humbly beseech thee my empty heart with thy self even with thy fulness that I may speak unto thee thine own words and not mine own for mine own words would be but words but meer words but thy words even thine O God are works and work I know effectually thou do'st not here us for our words sake because they are but the words of men nor for our works sake because they are but mens works nor for our own sake because we have forsaken thee but for thy great names sake O Lord which is thy self and therefore for thine own sake thou hearest us Ah Lord God let me then so heare thy voyce as my soul may live and so live as to praise thee for to praise thee O Lord is to live yea to live in thee to thee and for thee which to do Ah Lord thou knowest is the desire I have to live Ah great God be thou then gratiously pleased in the abundance of thy great goodness to speak a word in season unto this dull dead senceless heart of mine that I may be so ravisht therewith as I may forthwith come out of my self flye from my self hate loath and abhor my self in dust and ashes cause me O Lord to consider my self as indeed I am which is a little creeping clay speaking earth a worme and no man vile sinful wretched and abominable from the Crown of the head to the sole of the foot there is no whole part in me I am more Leprous then Gehazy much more unclean then was Mary Magdalen more blind in soul then Bartemeus was in body more lame to run after thee O Lord in thy wayes then was Mephibosheth in his feet my soul runs with a greater flux of sin then was the Hemorish Issue and more then thirty eight years O Lord thou knowest all these diseases have been upon me Ah Lord my Lord and my God be thou therefore pleased in love and mercy to look upon me with one of thine eyes and heale me and thou shalt do as great a work as in curing them all I know and am assured that thou hast so great a skill that if thou wilt thou canst with a word forgive the one and heale the other Ah wonder of wonders yea too too wonderful to beleive but by those whom thou dwellest in that thou wilt dwell and delight to dwell in such a heart but all such know O Lord through the power of thy goodness and the working of thy holy spirit in their hearts that nothing is hard for thee O God to do but all things are as easie as possible thou bringest light out of darkness and turnest evil into good with the word of thy mouth for he is only worthy whom thou in favour accountest worthy Seeing then O Lord God that it is thy good will and pleasure to do so much for me as thou canst do which is to give me thine own self be thou Ah be thou pleased in the riches of thy mercy and free grace to accept of my self not as a recompence O Lord for this thy great gift but as an acknowledgment that I have received so great a gift from thee and that therefore I am no longer nor no more mine own nor any others either in Heaven or on earth but
thine own O Lord and thine all and I most humbly and most unfeignedly beseech thee from the bottome of my heart in Jesus Christ that it may so continue and be unto all Eternity and that I may not henceforth think speak or do any thing by my self from my self alone without thee O Lord but that all my thoughts words and actions may be wholly guided and govern'd by thee to do all things agreeable to thy holy will and according to thine own heart who are the heart of my heart the life of my life and the soul of my soul for by thee only and all one I live move and have my being Give me then grace O Lord God that I may so love thee as to adore thee so fear thee as not offend thee so delight in thee as that thou mayest be my only delight so obey thee as to be obecient unto the death so honour thee as to walk humbly before thee and give up my self unto thee let me so run after thee as to obtaine thee and get a blessing from thee which may be a blessing unto me in life in death and after death that by receiving from thee daily grace I may give thee daily glory Ah Lord thou knowest how my heart seeketh to find thee that I may enjoy thee who art and who only art the joy and rejoycing of my heart that I may love thee fear thee adore thee praise thee prize thee and give up my self unto thee who hast given thy self for me and to me O Lord thou art all things and givest all things unto all Creatures all things have their all from thee who art all in all in all things thou art O Lord brighter and much more glorious then the Sun for the glorious brightness of the Sun is from the brightness of thy glory the Heavens have their beauty from thy beautifulness the earth and the Sea their plenty fulness from thy plentiful fulness all the Creatures have all their strength from thy strength and man his power might and wisdome to govern them and all things under the Sun from thine Almighty power and wisdome Ah most glorious Lord God who art thus glorious to behold how can I Worme behold thy glory or thee O Lord the Lord of all glory I confess and acknowledge that I am not able of my self to know my self my vileness wretchedness emptiness and nothingness how then O Lord am I able to know thee or to consider thee as thou art in thy self and how much thy goodness exceeds my badness thy wisdome my folly thy strength my weakness thy fulness my emptiness thine Almightiness my nothingness and yet how content am I though nothing or less worth then nothing yea to be turned even into nothing for thy sake But seeing O Lord thou hast in thy great goodness love and mercy made me thine make me now O Lord even what thou wilt and send me whether thou wilt I am ready and willing to to goe and be and do and suffer yea to spend and to be spent for thee for thou knowest O Lord God if I desire to live it is to live to thee in thee and for thee to praise thee and for thy praise for to praise thee is to live and this to do only is the only desire I have to live for when I have thee Lord I have all that I desire and crave thy presence being my Heaven on earth and thy absence my Hell having thee O Lord I have my all but wanting thee I want all that I would have thou only art able to content to satisfie and to please me but nothing but thee noâ—hing out of thee nothing besides thee O my God yea all things besides thee cannot give me any true pleasure delight or contentment O give me then so thy self my sweet Jesus as I may be alwayes with thee never without thee that I may wholly give up my self unto thee to be made holy like unto thee that my heart may be according to thine own heart and that thou may'st delight thine heart O Lord to set thine heart upon me and to make me thy delight thy joy and thy Crown of glory and to love me and to do me good even with that goodness of heart with thine own goodness wherewith thou lovest thine own that my will may in all things be conformable and made subject to thy will to will all that thou willest willingly and to nill all that thou nillest with the same willing will And grant O Lord that mine eyes may be alwayes open to behold thee mine ears to hear thee my mouth to praise thee mine armes to imbrace thee my feet to run after thee and my heart heartily to love honour fear and adore thee so that all my members and faculties both in soul and body may be as instruments only to act thy motions that I may be out of love with all that I may be only in love with thee who art all love and only lovely my dear my sweet and saving Saviour Jesus Ah Lord God make me willing to give my self up unto thee that did'st so willingly give up thy self for me and to be made like unto me that I might be made like unto thee thou rejoyced'st O Lord to come down from Heaven on earth to lift me up from earth into Heaven to live a mortall life on earth that I might live an immortal life in Heaven to dye on earth to free me from eternal death and to give me Eternal life thou wert O Lord made subject to all infirmities on earth to confirme and make me for ever free from them in Heaven seeing then thou wert O Lord willing to come to me in blood even through thine own blood to wash me out of my blood and to make me for ever clean Ah Lord wash not my hands and my feet only but my head and my heart also even my bloody heart that hath delighted so much and so often to make thy innocent heart to bleed yea to shed the last drop of blood that was in thy heart Thou would'st O Christ thou would'st ware an ignominious Crown of Thornes here on earth that I might weare a glorious Crown of glory hereafter in Heaven thou wol'st O Christ thou would'st be whip'd that thy stripes might heal me thou would'st thou would'st O Christ be bound to loose me and set me free thou would'st O Christ thou would'st be accurst that I might be for ever blest thou would'st O Christ thou would'st have thine armes nail'd abroad to shew the breadth of thy love they feet nail'd to shew the length of thy love and thy head pierst with Thornes to shew the height of thy love and thy heart opened with a speare to shew the depth of thy love Ah breadth length height and depth of love that such a God would be thus wounded to heal such a man as I am thus accurst to make me blest thus bound to make me free thus
made an heir of misery to make me an heir of mercy thus to drink the dreggs of his Fathers Divine wrath that I might for ever drink in the streames and of the Ocean of his Divine love Ah love beyond degree an offended God thus dyes to set offending men free And thus hath God the Lord my Lord and my God freed me from Eternall paines and given me hopes here and assurance hereafter of Eternal joyes he hath brought me out of the neither Hell into the upper Heaven of grace here which shall be glory hereafter he hath freed he hath freed me from Eternal death and purchased for me Eternal life he hath broken he hath broken the chains of sin by which Satan held me and led me captive at his will and doth lead me forth by and with the chains of his Eternal and everlasting love enabling me through grace to do his own holy will And what Lord shall I render unto thee for all these thy benefits thou Lord knowest my unability my poverty I am I am I confess so poor yea so despicably poor O Lord as I have nothing to pay thee not can pay thee nothing but what thou shalt give me give me thee O Lord what thou wilt have me to give thee give me Oh give me I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ love to love thee fear to fear thee faith to beleive in thee to depend on thee and to rowle my self upon thee hope to trust in thee and joy to rejoyce in thee with joy unspeakable Ah Lord God give me thy self yea all thy self that I may give thee all my self and though I do I confess already own thee mine all yet I would willingly owe thee yet more and though I have nothing to pay thee yet I desire and heartily desire to owe thee more to be more indebted unto thee for I delight to be thy great debtor yea and would be thy greatest and so I confess I should be though thou shouldest neither give nor forgive me any more then thou hast already forgiven and given me Ah Lord I know that for all thy gifts of grace mercy pardon and forgiveness that thou expectest only an acknowledgment that I am thine all and that I owe thee my self and mine all the freedome Lord Ah Lord the freedome all the freedome all the freedome that I desire is to be thy Prisoner never any man desired so much to be let out of Prison as I do to be put in never any slave desired so much to be free as I doe to be bound unto thee O God my God unto thee unto thee my God never any man desired so earnestly to pay his debts as I desire to be further and to be more indebted give me O Lord I beseech thee more and more that I may every day yea every moment of the day all the dayes of my life unto the very last moment of the last day of my life be receiving that when this life is ended I may live an Eternal life to pay thee Eternally praise and thanksgiving Be thou then Ah sweet Jesus be thou alwayes in me that I may alwayes be in thee stand by me continually that I may alwayes stand unright and walk uprightly and never fall goe with me that I may never goe from thee abide O Lord abide ever in me that I may ever abide in thee act in me O Lord act ever in me that I may ever act for thee speak O Lord speak continually in me that I may continually speak for thee work for me O Lord work alwayes for me that I may alwayes work for thee live in me O Lord live alwayes in me that I may alwayes live to thee and for thee Ah Lord do all for me do all for me that all that I shall henceforth alwayes do may be all for thee that I may choose not my own will but thy will may be my choyce Ah Lord let me know thy blessed voyce that I may alwayes answer thee at thy blessed call whether it be by night or by day as Samuel did and say with him and with his heart speak Lord for thy Servant heareth and with holy David for my heart is ready and with heavenly Paul what Lord what with thou have me to do Write O Lord I humbly beseech thy holy and divine lawes of grace in my heart that with my heart I may delight in them and thy Statutes in my mind that all even all my mind may be still on them that they may be a savour of life unto life to my soul and of death unto death to my sins let thy Commandements O Lord be no more grievous unto me but joyous that I may ever find thy yoak easie and thy burthen light Let thy word O God feed me yea let me feast on it as on marrow and fatness let it refresh and comfort my heart as with Wine on the Lees yea as Wine well refined on the Lees let it be sweeter to my tast then hony yea then the hony comb Ah Lord let my heart be set on it and much more delighted with it then with gold yea then with much fine gold or pretious pearls let it distill into my heart to ravish it Ah Lord let it so ravish me as all my sences may be filled and delighted with its sweetness Let me O Lord hear it attentively understandingly and feelingly as thine own word which thine own mouth hath spoken that my mouth may be filled with thy praises yea that I may trumpet them forth loudly and sweetly let mine eyes alwayes look upon thee O Lord from whence my salvation cometh to behold thy beauty thy glory and thy blessedness as in thy Sanctuary that my feet may run in the wayes of thy Commandements and not grow weary and walk and not faint O Lord let me sit under the shadow of thy branches continually for thy fruit is very pleasant unto my tast there is none in Heaven O lord that my soul desireth as thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee Ah how doth my soul and my heart long to be where thou art even where thou art O God in Heaven thy dwelling place glading and rejoycing the hearts of all those that behold thee beholding the brightness the sweetness the loveliness and the lovingness of thy most glorious most beautiful and most blessed countenance which to see is life yea much better then life Ah Lord bring me then home unto thee even to my long desired home that I may ever enjoy thee and live in thee my joy in whom my soul only delighteth to live for with thee I know is all joy unspeakable joy fulness of joy and at thy right hand O God are pleasures for ever more such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of any man at any time to conceive Ah Lord God I well know and believe rejoycingly that thou knowest all things and
Million of Millions in the body and spirit whom we shall know indeed that they love him indeed and in death 3. If men then on earth delight our sences Ah how shall God in Heaven with delight ravish our hearts 4. Ah Lord let me then still so have thee within me though on earth that I may say with Jacob I have all 5. If men on earth be able to give great gifts and their gifts be so greatly esteemed though but earth Ah how greatly should we esterm that great gift of that great God when he gives us himself who is as good as great and as great as good 6. If earthly joyes do then somtimes rejoyce a Heavenly heart Ah Lord how shall and how doth that heart rejoyce when he is filled with Heavenly joyes yea when he shall be involv'd taken in and swallowed up into the joyes of Heaven 7. And if momentary earthly joyes can give us joy any moment surely Eternal Heavenly joyes shall make us to rejoyce evermore 8. And if hope fill us with joy unspeakable surely fruition shall make us flow over with fulness 9. And if the thoughts of what we know not satisfie us so much surely when we shall know them to be sure we shall be fully satisfied 10. And if faith in believing be so great as it brings Salvation Ah how great shall that Salvation be when it shall be above and beyond that is moâ—e then faith 11. And if to do the will of God on earth imperfectly delight the soul so much that there 's no delight to him like it he preferrs it above his daily food and all other delights in the flesh Ah what delight shall that soul have in Heaven where he shall alwayes and perfectly do his whole and holy perfect will 12. And if God be so well pleased with us here for our weak and imperfect desires after grace Ah how well pleased will he be with us when he shall have made our imperfect grace full and perfect Glory 13. And if God delight so much in us whilst we are here below imperfect and sinners Ah how much and how greatly will he delight in us above when he shall have made us holy and perfect Saints 14. And if our Joys be so great to see God here and his glory darkly as in a glasse with fleshly eies Ah how great shall our joy be to see him gloriously and all his glory in Heaven face to face with spiritual eyes yea with the eyes of his own Holy Spirit 15. And if our Joys be so great to hear of him here with the hearing of the ears Ah how great shall they be to be with him hereafter and to hear himself with an understanding heart 16. And if then our Joys be so great to enjoy him here on earth and but in part imperfectly Ah how great shall our joys and delights he to enjoy him in Heaven not in part but in perfection perfectly fully wholly and holy as he is 17. And if our Joys be so great here on earth in the midst of fears Ah how great shall they be in Heaven where we need fear no fears for that there are no fears there to fear 18. And if our Joys be here on earth so great though surrounded with many sorrows Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all sorrows shall be all done away and turned into fulnesse of joy 19. And if our Joyes be so great among so many displeasing displeasures even here on earth Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all displeasures shall be all done away and our pleasures shall be for ever more 20. Ah fill me then O my good God with thy blessed most blessed self and thy Joys alone that in thee only I may rejoyce 21. If the nether Springs on earth be so sweet Ah how delitious and sweet yea sweetly delitious O God are the upper Springs of Heaven in Heaven 22. If thy left-hand mercies O God be so delightful and do so much delight and please us Ah how much more shall those of thy right-hand delight us with pleasure 23. If his foot-stool favours be so great and we esteem our selves greatly favoured by them to have them Ah how great in favour yea what great favourites shall we be when we shall enjoy in Heaven the favours of his Throne and fit on Thrones by him 24. If to see a glimpse of his glory beauty and brightnesse here on earth do so ravish us with delight joy and admiration so as we could and would alwaies be content to behold it Ah how then shall our hearts be ravisht with that ravishing fulnesse of his bright beautiful glory when we shall in Heaven behold all his glory as he is in his Kingdom of glory with all his glorious Saints and Angels from whose beautiful brightnesse and glory they have all their glorious brightnesse and beauty and are made thus gloriously beautiful with surpassing beauty and glory being in all things made like unto him 25. If then his glory be so sweet in the bud what is it in the branch but Ah then how much greater and sweeter is the Tree that hath so many branches 26. If then so great and sweet on earth Ah how greatly great and sweet in Heaven 27. And if our delights be so great in seeking thee O God here below on earth Ah how incomprehensibly great shall they and will they be when we shall have found thee where thou art above in Heaven 28. And seeing O God thou givest us such wages here whilst we offend thee Ah how great shall they be yea what is there but thou wilt give us when we shall offend thee no more but alwaies please thee 29. And seeing our Heaven is so sweet on earth or our earthly heaven so sweet which is but to see thy back part by Faith darkly as in a glasse Ah how sweet yea how much sweeter shall our heavenly Heaven be or our Heaven in Heaven which is to know thee as thou art O God to be known and see the clearly and plainly even face to face 30. And seeing thy love O God is so great to us here as it constraineth us to love thee Ah how great shall it be to us there when without constraint our greatest joy and pleasure shall be to adore and love thee 31. Ah Lord God that knowest my heart thou knowest that all the desires of my heart yet that the soul of my soul and the heart of my heart desires to love the only and to serve the with all my whole heart 32. If thy name O Lord be so great and fearful unto those that know thee and that know that thou lovest them Ah how fearfully great and greatly fearful shall it be unto those that know thee not but yet know thy greatnesse and how greatly thou hatest them 33. All Glory only Glory and continually Glory be given unto God the God and giver of all gifts grace and
Glory A Prayer THe Scope Sum Contents and my intent in this following Prayer is to beseech the Lord to be alwaies gratiously present with me to watch over me and to give me in Jesus Christ and for his sake merits and worthinesse his own holy and blessed Spirit to lead direct guide and govern me in all things that I shall take in hand to do to change my old heart and give me a New that I may glorifie him by a holy life and Conversation all the rest of my dayes and especially in this place where I have so much so often and so grievously sinned against his great and holy name and walkt contrary unto him serving the Devil and obeying his lusts worlds lusts and self lusts casting his holy and divine Commandments behind my back and trampling his Precepts under my feet and that he would be pleased with me to bring home all his Elect suddenly into his Kingdom of grace here and of glory hereafter that his whole and holy will may be done by us here on earth as it is done in Heaven until he shall be pleased through the infinitenesse and incomprehensiblenesse of the riches of his free grace love and mercy in Jesus Christ to bring us into the Holy of Holies the Heaven of Heaven even into his blessed self there for ever and for ever to sing that ever blessed ditty sweet Angelical and Eternal Song of Hallelujah of Praise thanksgiving and Glory unto his ever blessed most great gratious and glorious name So be it Lord So be it O Lord God of Heaven and Earth most high most great and most glorious the Creator Preserver and Governor of all things who hast created all things by the word of thy power by thee only they all are and were created thou willest all that thou dost and dost all that thou wilt thou O God that art the only God for there is none else there is none besides thee the God of Abraham of Isaac and of Jacob that wast with the children of Israel in Egypt and on the Red Sea with Moses in the Wildernesse with Joseph in Prison with Daniel in the Lyons den with the three Children in the firy furnace and with Abraham in a strange Land be with me also O God in Jesus Christ be with me also thy poor unworthy creature and servant in this strange Land sinful place and Nation whether thou hast by thine accustomed good and gratious Protection and Providence again called and brought me Ah let not O Lord my former many frequent great and grievous sins committed here in this place chiefly be brought to thy mind or had in remembrance of thee any more and so cause thee to hide thy glorious face and presence from me and take away thine Holy Spirit and give me upto a spirit of delusion and to mine own hearts lusts and affections which I take to be O Lord the forest and the greatest of thy Judgements upon earth in this life but rather Ah rather O Lord shew forth thy goodnesse and thy compassion unto me miserable sinner vile wretch sinful abominable dust and ashes a worm and no man yea the very worst of the worst of men O Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ and for his sake alone to passe by and forgive all my former iniquities transgressions blasphemies and sins by nayling them to his Crosse who was crucified for them that they might not crucifie me by burying them in his grave who died for them that they might not put me to death and was buried that they might never rise in Judgement against me to terrifie me here in this life or to condemn me in the life to come Ah my good Lord God for thy great goodnesse sake grant that here where I have so much so often and so frequently disowned thee and blasphemed thee I may own thee and praise thee and thou own me for thine own that here where I have so much and so often dishonoured thee by my wicked devilish and sinful life serving and even giving my self up to serve Devils lusts Worlds lusts and self lust I may honour thee by despising and trampling them under my feet and serving thee in thy waies of holinesse and righteousnesses all the daies of my life that here here O Lord where I have dispised thee I may adore thee that here O Lord even here where I have walked so contrary unto thee I may henceforthwalk wellpleasing before thee that here here O Lord where I have hated thee I may henceforth and for ever shew forth my love to thee and for thee that here even here O Lord where I have so much and so often grieved thee I may take heed and carefully endeavour to glad thee by all things that I do speak or think that here even here O Lord God where I have caused thee to mourn I may cause thee mightily to rejoyce that here even here O Lord my God where I have so often and so cruelly crucified thee I may without remorse or compassion crucifie all those sinful lusts and affections that did it that here even here O Lord where I have so much and so often put thee to open shame by my sinful filthy abominable devilish life and conversation I may openly frequently and mightily applaud praise and glorifie thy holy holy most holy name that here O Lord even here where I have done so much yea all that I could against thee I may with all my power might strength heart will and affections do all even all that I can for thee that here even here O Lord where I have in all things at all times and in all places deserted dishonoured and disobeyed thee Ah Lord my Lord now and my God grant I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee that I may in all things at all times and in all places and companies serve honour and obey thee by night and by day sleeping and waking on thy daies O Lord and on our daies in thy house O Lord and in all other houses at thy Table O Lord and at all other Tables in and by all my thoughts words and actions Grant O Lord that here where sin hath so much abounded grace may much more abound and grant I also most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ that those that have seen me grow up in all sin may see sin destroyed in me with an utter and total destruction and separation and my growth in all grace may appear Grant O Lord that those that have been tempted by me and sinned by my example may by my example flie sin and sins Temptations and be brought home with me unto thee to serve thee and that here where I have served Satan and been an instrument in his work Grant O Lord I beseech thee that I may despight him to his face and by thine Almighty power I may trample all his powerful temptations under my feet shewing forth O Lord that thy Kingdom power and glory is
desire ever to praise thee in grace and mercy made it such as it heartily desireth and longeth to be what it should be but O Lord I know that here is no perfection and that therefore it cannot be here Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ in thine own good due and appointed time bring me home to that long wished for and blessed home that I may be ever blessed in thee and with thee who art God blessed for ever and ever Ah Lord my Lord thou knowest how willing I am to leave all for thee loose all to enjoy thee trample all under my feet and hate all for thy sake yea spend and be spent for thee and to follow thee the Lamb of Righteousness in all places whether thou wilt goe even as a Chast Wife giveth her self unto her Husband and delighteth to love honour and obey him and longeth for his presence when he is absent that she may lye in his bosome and be imbraced in his armes esteeming all things toys and trash to his love even so Lord thou knowest that my heart desireth and longeth to be espoused unto thee in Heaven made one with thee knit and glued unto thee that I may be thine for ever and be imbraced in thine armes and lye in thy bosome living as thine and thine only unspotted and unblameable holy O Lord as thou art holy Heaven O Lord is Heaven because it is holy yea because thou art there that art holiness therefore yea therefore is Heaven Heaven and Heaven holy and such a holy Heaven as it is so those that are there a thousand years seems but as one day so sweet is its enjoyment and one day seemes as a thousand years so great is there comfort of enjoyment and therefore O Lord and to praise thee do I long to be dissolved from this body of sin which is death that I may live in thee and with thee in holiness which is Eternal life for this O Lord thou hast taught me to know and therefore my soul rejoyceth that holiness is the only felicity and chief happiness in Heaven for that makes us only like unto thee who art the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven Grant therefore O my God in Christ and for his sake that I may whil'st here below in the flesh on earth seek after labour for and endeavour to obtaine that measure and degree of holiness that my earthly Heaven may be a Heaven in part though not a perfect Heaven and that I may from day to day grow and increase from one degree of grace unto another until I com to enjoy that measure and fulness that thou hast O Lord my God in the infinitness and Eternity of thy love goodness and mercy through thy free grace in Jesus Christ reserved provided and appointed for me out of thine own abundant and overflowing fulness for with thee is fulness of joy and at thy right hand are pleasures for evermore Ah Lord for thy mercyes sake bring me unto that fulness that I may for ever rejoyce in that joy which bringeth such peace as passeth all understanding which eye hath not seen eare hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of man to conceive Ah Lord bring me into that Heaven and in the mean time let Heaven be in me for holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness therefore the more holiness is in us the more Heaven is in us yea the happiness in Heaven which is God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost threepersons but one God Grant O Lord I most humbly beseech thee that I may do the work of my generation and lawful calling prudently wisely justly and uprightly faithfully obediently circumspectly cheerfully willingly and perseveringly both before thee O God and before all men giving every man his due and doing unto all men as I would they should do unto me without respect of persons and let me alwaies value and esteem these things below as low things as temporal inferior good things as common mercies of the left-hand of the foot-stool the nether Springs even such O Lord as thou givest unto all even unto the evil and wicked as well as unto the good and righteous as thou makest the Sun to shine and the rain to fall alike on all it being no token either of thy hatred or of thy love Let me therefore O Lord have power through grace to use them as if I used them not and to live in this World as if I were not of this World making no provision for the flesh to satisfie the lusts thereof but that I may overcome the World by despising of it And give me not the things of the World O Lord I beseech thee till thou hast given me a heart to use them according to thine own heart even as liketh thee best and grant O Lord that I may be alwaies as willing to leave them as to receive them and to give them back unto thee when thou pleasest and in thine own way as thine O Lord and not as mine blessing thee for the leaving them with me any time but most especially for the well using of them during that time considering that their well using will turn to my Eternal profit and their abusing of them to my Eternal losse Ah Lord let the eies of my understanding be enlightened and alwaies open to see the many perils and dangers in possessing them as well as their nothingnesse whilst I shall possesse them and that worldly blisse consists more in possessing of little void of fears than of much subject unto danger and that it 's much the sweeter condition to want the Worlds sweetness than to have them if in their want we find no want and to esteem alwaies that best which God giveth because he having promised will make it work for the best come on me then what will come I doubt not Lord but I shall find it as I have hitherto found it to be for my good and coming from a God of Love to me in love and therefore O Lord I will love both thee and it and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best and if at any time my condition should not please the flesh sure I am it will alwaies please the Spirit if it please not at any time the outward it will alwaies please the inward man if it please not the old man without it will please the new man within for Lord thou knowest if my condition should at any time displease me and I could change it yet I would not if by so doing I should displease thee for thou knowest I desire to please thee not my self the Spirit not the flesh the inward not the outward man the New not the old man for I would not have what I would but O Lord that only that thou wilt be it what ever it will deny me not O Lord I most humbly most earnestly and most unfainedly beg and beseech thee in Jesus
Christ for thine own dear and holy names sake deny me not this one thing what ever it cost me but let my life and my death my place of abode and condition be such as may O Lord bring thee most glory as may glorifie thee most O God of all Power and Glory And that Seeing I served thee not O God my Creator in the daies of my youth grant I beseech thee that I may serve thee freely cheerfully willingly and joyfully all the rest of my daies unto the very last hower of my life that I may henceforth live the life of the righteous and that my last end may be like his Ah Lord let all the rest of my life to come be so spent as it may witnesse a continual sorrow for my life past that having lived here in thy fear I may dye O Lord my God in thy favour that having lived here the life of Grace I may ever hereafter live with thee O my sweet Iesus the life of Glory in thy Kingdom of Glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit O Lord that triest the heart and searchest the reigns thou knowest all my thoughts as well as ponderest all my actions and therefore thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because that thou thus knowest it and because thou hast made it such as it is not that it is O Lord as it would or should be but because it willingly would be what it should be and that it would do and be as willingly any thing that it wills as it wills it So it be O Lord God according to thy most holy righteous good and blessed will And now O Lord God Almighty maker giver and preserver of all things I most humbly beseech thee to hear me in Jesus Christ for all Kingdoms Nations and People in general and in particular over the face of the whole earth gather O Lord in much mercy gather thine Elect together from all the ends and corners of the World Jew and Gentile Turk and Infidel bond and free male and female young and old rich and poor Ah Lord be thou pleased in the greatnesse of thy compassions to pour out thy Holy Spirit upon all flesh and write thy holy Laws of Grace in their hearts and thy Statutes of fear in their minds by the finger of thine Holy Spirit that every one may know who is the Lord and the power of his might that all flesh may be converted and brought home unto thee that their fouls may live and not die eternally Remember O Lord God thine ancient Covenant with Abraham thy Friend and pity our elder sister the Jews suffer them not Ah Lord suffer them not longer to wander as sheep without a Shepherd but bring them home Ah Lord bring them home to thy fold and to thy flock and be thou the Shepherd and life of their Souls Open O Lord the eies of their understanding that they may know thee the true God and Iesus Christ whom thou hast sent that they may behold him whom they have crucified by their sins and may mourn as one mourneth for his only son and be in bitternesse as for a first-born have they stumbled that they should fall God forbid but rather through their fall Salvation is come unto the Gentiles for to provoke them unto Jealousie Now if the fall of them be the riches of the World and the diminishing the riches of the Gentiles how much more O Lord their fulnesse and if the casting away of them be the reconciling of the World what shall the receiving of them be but life from the dead for if the first fruit be holy the lump is also holy and if the root be holy so are the branches because of unbelief they were broken off and if they abide nor still in unbelief hast thou not promised O God to graft them in again and seeing thou wert O Lord pleased to graft us into the good Olive-tree that were wild by nature Ah when Ah Lord when wilt thou grast in again these into their own Olive tree which be the natural branches for blindnesse is happened to Israel until the fulnesse of the Gentiles be come in and so all Israel shall be saved as concerning the Gospel they are Enemies for our sakes but as touching the Election they are beloved for the Fathers sake for the gifts and calling of God are without repentance bring in then O Lord bring in then the fulnessse of us the Gentiles that the number of shine Elect may be accomplished and that man of fin destroyed with an utter total and eternal destruction Break O Lord the power of the Turk and all thy Churches adversaries destroy the pride of Rome and root out Antichrist O Lord I beseech thee out of all our hearts and permit not that any of thy children be led away by Errors Heresies Sects or any false worship but let thy Word O Lord and Gospel be preached and taught throughout the whole Earth in purity and sincerity as thy Word and with the powerful assistance of thine own Holy Spirit Ah Lord cause it to work efficaciously on the hearts of all hearers that they may hear it with fear and trembling even as thine own Word and by it be convinct of sin of righteousnesse and of Judgment and to this end O Lord God be thou pleased to give a double portion of thy Holy Spirit unto all the Ministers ther of that they may preach it in the power of the Holy Ghost not fearing the face of men being confidently assured that their work and labour shall not be in vain in the Lord. Ah Lord in much mercy propagate thy Gospel where it is planted and be thou pleased to plant it where it is not and send forth faithful Labourers into thy Vineyard and harvest for thou knowest O Lord God that the Harvest is great but the Labourers are few Ah Lord suffer not I most humbly beseech thee in Iesus Christ that the wild Boar of the wood pluck up the roots nor the little Foxes to cut off the branches but blast O Lord all the designs and machinations that are any where hatching against thy Church and People and bring them to nought and cause their Enemies which are thy Enemies to fall into the Pits and snares which they have laid for them do good O Lord to thy Sion and build up the walls of thy Jerusalem do thine own work in thine own good due and appointed time and let thine own arm O Lord bring us Salvation In a more particular and most special manner O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Iesus Christ be mindful and have mercy upon the Land of my Nativity Pardon O Lord the Nation and particular sins thereof past present and to come of Magistrates Ministers and People our sins O Lord of blood our sins of unthankfulnesse ingratitude and rebellion against thee our God our sins of covetousnesse which is Idolatry our sins of pride and hypocrisie of self-love and hatred of
that I may live to thee own me for thine own that I may own thee for mine all give me Ah give me O Lord much grace that I may give thee much glory daily grace that I may give thee daily glory continually grace that I may give thee continually glory that I may be all thine O Lord only thine alwayes thine and ever thine and all this I most humbly and unfainedly beg of thee and what ever else thou knowest to be needfull or expedient for me both for my soul and body for the name and for the worthiness of Jesus Christ thy Son and my Saviour to whom with thy Glorious Majesty and Holy Spirit of Grace do I render and give with my whole heart as all due is and unto none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving now henceforth and for euermore Amen Amen 34. If the love of Creatures be so lovely unto us and we esteem and love them most for their love and this their love doth many times sweetly satisfie and ravish our senses But how then are our hearts set on fire with Love when we have within us the fiery hot burning Love of a Loving God yea of a God of Love whose Love is so lovely as it knits our hearts in Love unto him and our greatest Love unto him is from his own Love because he hath so loved us as to give us hearts to love him even according to his own heart 35. If our Joy be according to the measure of Love which we enjoy from the Creature whom we most love Ah how great yea incomprehensibly great shall our joy be when we shall know and feel that we are beloved above measure by the Creator who maketh the Creature thus lovely and giveth him Love thus to love him 36. If our Love many times be so great unto the Creature for the Creature that we do not and it seems to us that we cannot love him so much as we would and do desire to do and we crave and desire chiefly his Love that we may yet love him more and this from and because we love him so much and for that our senses can be only satisfied with his Love and by loving of him for we love him most for his Love and his Love doth cause us to love him more whom we love so much yea whom we love most 37. But Ah how great then yea how wonderfully great is the love O Lord of thy Children and Servants unto thee when they know that they are beloved by thee whom they most love and must love most for thy Love thy Love being most worth worth most and therefore do they despise all Love and things lovely in the Creature to purchase thy Love O God who art the Creator of all Love and things lovely they love thy Love most O God because they know and feel that thy Love only causeth them to love thee more whom notwithstanding they do already love most and for that nothing but thy Love can satisfie them with sufficient love to love thee sufficiently for to love thee is to live and they could not live if it were not for thy Love and therefore are they ready and willing alwaies to die for thy Love and to witnesse and shew forth their love with which they love thee 38. If then the love of the Creature be so great for the Creator that it is more above and beyond my love in the Creature for the Creature yea it is so great as it cannot be uttered it being and proceeding from the Creators own Love that the Creature hath this love and that he loveth thus his Creator 39. But Ah then how incomprehensible and great is the love of the Creator for and unto us his Creatures in that he giveth us so much of his love as to love him and such condescention is in him as he delighteth to be beloved by them who out of his love do so much hate him and love only what he hateth alas alas what can we poor we say of him whom we know not but by himself and from himself and love not but from his love Let us then Ah let us then admire and in humility ever adore this his love with which he hath so loved us as to make us like himself in love which is to be all love loving others as our selves for even as his love only causeth him to love us so likewise doth this his love in us cause us thus to love him and thus to love one another with the same loving love and all that we may be all one and the same in love in him to him and for him who is the love of our love the cause of our loves love the subject of our love the object of our love which we only desire to love and the joy of this our joyous love and the aime of our end and the end of our aime is to live and love unto the end in this loving love that is that our love may never know end as his never knew no beginning nor never shall know end and this is and such is the great love of our God yea the incomprehensible love with which he loveth us being such and so great as we cannot comprehend it's greatnesse it cannot enter into us therefore we shall enter into it neither can we sufficiently expresse ours for him which flows only from his from himself who is only and alone in himself perfect love and he alone can only create and give perfect love to love perfectly none but himself from himself of himself can then thus love perfectly or give perfect love to love perfectly thus 40. It is then thy love in me O Lord my God that causeth me to love thee 41. Inflame then my cold benum'd icy frozen heart with the fiery hot burning flames of this thy burning hot love O my God that my heart may continually as Moses bush and the Seraphims still flamingly burn but never consume for it is by this and from this divine fire that cometh from thy holy Altar O Lord that my soul liveth and out of it it cannot 42. Let me then O Lord ever burn That I may ever live for why Ah if I should not still burn thus I am sure I should eft soon dye 43. Ah Lord my God and my Father in Jesus Christ I desire to praise thee ever for that thou hast not only forgiven me all but given me all thou hast not only given me a pardon for all my Iniquities and transgressions and forgiven all my sins but hast also forgotten that ever I sinned 44. Thou hast not only given me such a pardon as never to remember my sins any more but with the pardon thou hast O Lord given me thy love and thy self so as I shall ever live in thy self to love thy self ever and to offend thee never 45. Thy love O my God and heavenly Father is far greater unto me than David's was for his
joyfully and heartily feed on the Garlick and Onyons yea on the husks that Swines feed on so much love they have to themselves as they forget God and that they were Created for him and unto good works to please and serve him such then as thus love or love thus are self-lovers only or chiefly and therefore not right or true lovers because they love not God rightly therefore not truly for he is to be beloved first of all most of all beyond and above all he being our only chief supream Soveraign superiour and best good all good being in him and flowes only from him he contayning all and being contained by none 54. But as for me O Lord as for me I know O Lord I know that there is none in Heaven but thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee a Doore keeper O Lord a Doore keeper in thy house do I much prefer choose and imbrace rather then to dwell in Tents or Tabernacles with the wicked with those that know thee not and that fear thee not I much rather Ah Lord thou knowest that I had much rather be afflicted and I choose and prefer banishment poverty contempt disgrace imprisonment and death for thy sake and the Gospels as thy Servant rather yea much rather then to enjoy all these pleasures in the flesh these fleshly pleasures with the wicked any life O Lord and any death yea that life and that death in that place and condition as may bring thee most glory do I most humbly and unfainedly beg in Jesus Christ and for his sake Ah Lord God I hast me unto thee I desire to flye into thee and to be found ever in thee yea though thou shouldest make all my life as Pauls and Peters were when they saw and enjoyed in part those blessed joys prepared and laid up for the blessed yea though I could alwaies see Heaven open as Stephen and thou O Lord my Jesus and my Christ standing at the right hand of God should not would not my heart heartily say with Simeon Lord now let thy servant depart in peace for mine eies have seen thy great Salvation would it not cry out none but Christ none but Christ and come Lord Jesus Ah come quickly and take me to thee to be ever with thee for though to me to live were Christ yet to dye would be great gain 55. Such and all such love falsely as love their Neighbours for themselves only for the good they do them and for the benefit and advantage alone which they receive from them were it not for this good they would not care for them nor think of them nor pray for them nor wish or desire any blessing on them if they do at any time do them any good it is for the good that thereby they hope will accrue to themselves either of praise or profit otherwaies they would rather yea much rather their losse than their gain their dishonour than their honour and they would deligth more much more to hear an evil than a good report of them and were it not that they want them or may want them that they stand them in stead they would rather yea much rather dis-serve them then serve them hurt them than do them good and though with their mouths they blesse them yet in their hearts they curse them envying the very happinesse that they pray for on their behalf they love them for their gifts not their gifts for them yea they love their gifts but not the givers of the gifts they love their gifts not because it comes from their love but because they are lovely that is because they stand them in stead they have need of them they should be in want if they did want them if they had them not they do not praise God on their behalf and pray for a double blessing on them for this their blessing of them if they wish or desire an increase of their substance and a blessing on their labours it is because they hope they will increase in doing them good in giving to them of their substance a blessing of their labours a part and portion of their profits and if they do not do so such will curse and not blesse and would if they could take from them all that they have or seem to have for their love is self-love love only to themselves for themselves therefore false love loving falsly 56. I had much rather have no portion in the World than have the World for my portion 57. For I am sure the World never did nor never will make any rich and as sure that it hath and will make many Ah too too many poor 58. For many that have had and yet shall have great Portions of this Worlds good have nor shall have none of the good of Heaven for their Portion it 's hard for a rich man here to be rich there 59. And many that have no Portion in this World of this World have God and shall have God for their sure and everlasting Portion in the World to come 60. Ah happy yea thrice happy man that hath such a Portion there though he have none here what ever be his condition he is in a blessed condition for he shall be ever blessed blessed for ever and ever 61. But Ah miserable man who art only miserable that hath no Portion there what ever Portion he hath here yea though he abound in Corn and Wine and Oyl and all this Worlds good and glory 62. Give me Ah Lord give me any Portion in Heaven though but to be a door-keeper if I may but see thy face and hear thy voyce I care not though it be with the losse of all Portions here both of riches honours and pleasures 63. If thou givest me here O Lord but food and rayment how mean soever it be I will be content therewith and heartily thank thee and if thou givest me none I will thank thee for the time past and believe I shall want none for the time to come and that shall content me 64. Ah if the want of the World be so sweet when in its want we find no want how sweet then yea how much sweeter is Heavens fulnesse where is all fulnesse of all things and therefore no want at all of any thing 65. Ah how much better is it and how much greater gain to lose this Worlds all and gain Heaven then to gain this Worlds all and lose our part of Heaven which is Heavens all yea all Heaven 66. The Worlds losse with Heavens gain I shall not account any losse but all gain yea the greatest gain I can get But Heavens losse with all this Worlds gain I shall not account any gain but a great losse yea the greatest that I could or can sustain 67. He that loseth Heaven loseth all but he that gets only this Worlds all gets nothing even nothing at all 68. I will and alwaies will account all losses gain to win Christ
and all gain losses if I lose Christ. 69. Let Christ then be my gain and I care not what losses I sustain 70. For this Worlds felicity is certain but a moment but the felicity or infelicity of the World to come is not uncertain any moment but certainly good or bad from the first to the last moment which last moment will be alwaies a like as far off as it was the very first moment being ever ever 71. Give me then Ah Lord God that endlesse good felicity and happinesse which is like thy self shall never change but endure for ever and not that which is like my self subject every moment to all change 72. Ah Lord thou knowest I would willingly most willingly change thus my life for death and then my death for life 73. That is my life of sin for a death to sin to put all sin to death and then death for eternal life with Christ who is my life 74. Thou knowest O Lord also that I would willingly die to live and live to die 75. That is to dye to sin and live to grace live in all grace and dye to all sin that to me to live may be Christ but to dye gain yea that my life may be hid with Christ in God 76. I would willingly O Lord have thee mine all that I may give thee mine all and reserve from thee nothing at all 77. All Lord All I most willingly and unfeignedly give thee Ah that thou wouldest receive all and refuse nothing at all 78. For all Lord that 's mine is thine that is all that is good for the bad I renounce and give back also to him that gave it 79. All the World is nothing being all perishable therefore can be to nothing compared but to nothing 80. Ah what a pity is it that any man should be so fickle as to love such fickle things as are these below which to day are and to morrow are not 81. For is any thing lesser worser or lighter than vanity if any thing be or can be or if this Worlds things be any thing it is it which is so much vanity and so full of vanity and therefore the more the lesser worth the worser and the lighter be all nothing but all vanity 82. The more there is of a bad thing the worser and the lesser too is the thing that is to goodnesse 83. Well therefore may it be said of the best of this Worlds of this Worlds best as the old old woman said unto her daughter arise daughter Vanity and come to thy daughter Vanity for thy daughter Vanity hath another daughter of Vanity 84. Ah fruitful but cursed fruitful womb that brings forth so much cursed fruit full of Vanity 85. How much better were it that thou wert barren than thus to bear 86. Vanity is in the getting Vanity is in the keeping Vanity is in the spending and there is Vanity for the most part in giving of this Worlds Vanity So that all in this World even all this World is Vanity yea all Vanity and Vexation of Spirit 87. Ah vain foolish man that labourest so hard that hazardest so much for that which at the best is so vain being so full of Vanity and which is worse vexation of spirit 88. If then its best be so bad what is its worst if it s all be worth nothing at all why wilt thou then be such a fool as to labour for that which is not and to spend thy time thy dear most dear and most pretious time for that which will not for that which cannot profit thee 89. Let then Ah let then the morrow care for its self care thou O man Oh carelesse man for thy self that is for thy better self which will make thee ever happy or else thy carelesnesse ever miserable miserable for ever 90. Be not Ah be not so carelesse to put off thy care till to morrow seeing there is a change every moment but fear still Ah fear thou still that change which a day may bring forth 91. Let the World take its own make sure what is thine own if thou wilt so have it which is Christ Jesus and all his merits and say truly and bouldly I will have none but Christ I care for none but Christ nor to know nothing but Christ and him crucified be then contented if thou hast him and be not contented what ever thou hast if thou hast him not 92. For all other things give discontent and bring with them Vexation of Spirit but he gives alone all true contentment and brings with him the peace of the Spirit 93. If then our peace in believing bring so great joy that it passeth all understanding Ah how great shall our peace and joy be when it shall be above believing that is when we shall possesse the God and giver of all peace who is our rest and peace yea our peaceable rest and he will augment our understanding as much as our peace and yet our peace shall surpasse ours and all others understanding 94. And if our joy be so great when we believe the certainty thereof Ah how great in possession when we shall know certainly with the most certain and sure knowledg of God that it shall be ever most surely sure and certain 95. If then these things below be able to satisfie any a moment surely the things above above all things shall be able and will ever ever will satisfie all for all there shall enjoy all God who hath all things and is all things and more then all things and he giveth himself unto all being all in all and over all and above and more than all 96. Ah Lord God the searcher the trier and knower of all hearts thou knowest O Lord thou knowest my heart and therefore knowest right well what my heart heartily chiefly and principally desireth above beyond and more than all things which is thy dear thy sweet and pretious most pretious sweet and dear self Ah let me so have thee as never to be without thee and I will never more ask any thing more of thee fill me Ah fill me so with thy blessed fulnesse as that I may never more be emptied of thee but may continually receive from thee grace for grace daily grace to give thee daily glory much grace to give thee much glory continually grace to give thee continually glory Give Ah Lord give so thy self to me as I may ever give my self to thee to be all thine alwaies thine only thine and ever thine Enter Ah Lord be thou pleased so to enter into me as I may enter into thee my Joy O my Lord even into thee who art the Lord of my Joy espouse me Ah espouse me here O Lord by grace that I may be hereafter for ever married with thee unto thee in glory Raign rule bless guide govern direct protect preserve and defend me from all evils perils and dangers that I may enjoy those blessed great gratious holy and glorious
promises which thou hast been pleased from time to time to make unto me that I may live and living dye that I may dye and dying ever live to the praise honour and glory of thine ever blessed Eternal most holy and most great most sacred and most glorious name so be it Lord so be it 97. Heaven is Heaven because it is holy yea because O Lord God thou art there that art holiness therefore is Heaven Heaven and Heaven holy yea such a holy and therefore blessed Heaven as it is so as to those that are there a thousand years seem but as one day so greatly sweet is its enjoyment and one day seems as a thousand years so great is their joy in its enjoyment and holiness is the chief joy felicity and happiness in Heaven because it makes them all like unto thy self O all Heavenly God who art the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven being the holiness of Heaven and therefore Heavens chief joy felicity and happiness 98. If earths sweets are so sweet to earthly hearts as they desire nothing but earth that is the things on earth Ah how sweet then are Heavens sweets to a Heavenly heart and how shall Ah how shall Heaven ravish their hearts with joy and contentment when that their hearts souls and bodyes shall be in Heaven and all filled with Heaven that is with all holiness and blessedness even with God himself the ever blessed and holy God then shall they be all holy all Heavenly yea all a holy Heaven being holy as God is holy but not so holy 99. If earth then or earthly things on earth be able to satisfie any on earth surely Heaven and the things in Heaven shall be able and will satisfie all in Heaven for that all there shall enjoy all that is there even all God Father Son and Holy Ghost who is all and in all 100. And therefore by how much God is above all things and more worth then all things by so much yea so much more do I value my interest in him above all things for having him sure I have all things sure I am sure 101. Ah when I enjoy that true joy of enjoying that true Communion with the true God though here on earth me thinks I am not on earth but in Heaven and yet I know all this is but an earthly Heaven though a Heaven 102. But how then Ah how then doth my heart rejoyce with joy unspeakable knowing that the time will come and is ever near at hand when I shall ever enjoy Heavens true joys which is God himself the joy of all joys yea all joys that are true 103. O Lord thou knowest that the Heaven which my soul desireth on earth is to do thy whole holy and blessed will on earth as it is done in Heaven 104. I desire to live O God and give my heart unto thee That hast in love and mercy given thine own unto me 105. Ah Lord my God let me so hear thy blessed most blessed voyce that my soul may live and so live as to praise thee for to praise thee is to live yea to live in thee and for thee which to do is the desire I have to live 106. Give me then power O God that hast all power in thy self that I may fight powerfully against all my powerful Enemyes and by the power of thy might which is an Almighty power I may tread and trample all their powers under my feet 107. Give me O Lord give me such fear as may cause me to love thee and such love as to fear thee and to cast out all fear 108. Meditation is the heart of the heart the soul of the soul which is the strength and life of all devotion 109. When in meditation God hath spoken peace unto thy soul. Ah then do thou by thanksgiving with thy heart praise Laud and him extol 110. He that will have Heaven on earth must meditate on earth of Heaven 111. To have God abide with us we must by meditation abide with him 112. To have God live in us we must with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life live to him 113. To have God dwell in us we must open our affections which is the dore of our hearts to let him into our hearts and continually feast him with true and unfaigned love loving none but him in comparison of him 114. To have God love us we must love him that is make him our choyce above and beyond all other things choosing him for our chief and superiour good that is beyond above and more then all other things he must have all our hearts that is our hearts more than all other things 115. To have God delight in us our delight end and aime must be to delight him that is by walking well pleasing unto him all the dayes of our whole lives as Christ did yesterday to day and for ever 116. To have God direct us how we shall walk we must be careful and heedful to walk as he doth and shall direct us 117. To have God preserve us we must believe in him trust on him depend and rowle our selves upon him 118. To have God maintaine us we must cast all our care upon him for the earth is his and the fulness thereof 119. To have God sustaine us and be our help we must hope only in him for he will faile us never and not put any trust in Princes or in the Sons of men for in them there is no help their breath goeth forth they return to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish 120. To have God be all ours we must be all his that is in thought word and deed and not think our own thoughts or speak our own words nor do our own works but do all to the praise of his holy holy holy name 121. He that would live with the Lord in Heaven must live to the Lord on earth 122. He that would have the Lord to be his Lord and his God must serve honour and obey him as his Lord and fear worship and adore him as his God 123. He that would Raign with the Lord Christ in Heaven must be contented to be arraigned for him as he was for us on earth 124. He that would sit with him there in glory above must be content to sit with him that is as he did in contempt here below 125. He that would rejoyce with him there must be contented to sigh and grieve and weep and mourn as he did here 126. He that would have all things with him there must be content if he will so have it to have as he had nothing here 127. He that would be received by God his Father there as by his Father must do his will as Christ did here that is as his Son 128. He that would wear an incorruptible Crown of glory for ever there must be content if he will so have it to wear a Crown of Thorns his ever here 129. He that
would have an Eternal weight of glory there must be content and rejoyce under Eternal ignominy here 130. He that would have all things with others there must be willing to do all things for others here 131. He that would have Christ for his Jesus there to save him must believe in him as his Jesus Christ here that is as the way the truth and the life unto Eternal life 132. He that would have him there his advocate to plead his sinful bad case must here plead for and in behalf of his blessed good case 133. He that would have him as a judg to acquit him there must judge and condemne himself here 134. And he that would not be condemn'd with the world there must not with the world and as the world doth live here 135. And he that would not be cast out with Reprobates there must have no Communication or Conversation with them here 136. And he that would not be of the number of the Devils Goats there must come unto Christs flock and be of his fold and of his sheep here 137. And he that would live with the Righteous there must labour after holiness and Righteousness here 138. And he that would be sure to die their death to put it out of all doubt must live their life 139. And he that would enter into his Masters and Lords joy there must be the joy of his Lord and Master here that is his well doing good and faithfull Servant 140. Seeing then that these things O Lord shall surely be make me through grace such a person as I ought to be 141. Now seeing that holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness Ah Lord make me all holy that I may be all Heavenly let holiness alwayes dwell within me that Heaven may be alwayes within me and that I may be alwayes in Heaven 142. And seeing O Lord that our desire chiefly to be in Heaven is to be free from all sin and to be holy as thou art holy Ah let me labour for and long after holiness on earth yea and to be so holy that though I am on earth I may be also in Heaven and Heaven in me 143. And seeing that the more holy we are the more heavenly we are and the more like unto thee O most heavenly and most holy Lord God that is throughout holy in Spirit Soul and Body grant that though I am here below on earth and earth I may in holinesse be like unto thee above who art in Heaven and art Heaven 144. Ah Lord God that hast fitted and prepared Heaven for me prepare me for it that I may enjoy thee all who art my all and my only Joy 145. And seeing none shall enjoy thee in Heaven but those that enjoy thee on Earth Ah Lord let me so enjoy thee here that I may long to be dissolved for ever to enjoy thee there yet not for mine own sake only but for thine own sake good Lord. 146. Ah Lord let my joy be so full of thee here on Earth as I may alwaies long to be filled with thy fulnesse of joy in Heaven and to enjoy fully those pleasures that are there at thy right hand and shall endure for ever more 147. Yet O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to make me still patient to wait untill my blessed change shall come and that I may alwaies say thine O Lord thine and not my will be done 148. Ah come Lord Jesus come when thou wilt and as thou wilt either at midnight or at the Cock crowing for though I do long for thy coming to take me hence unto thy self yet I would rather O Lord thou knowest that I had rather abide here to do thy will and for thy sake on earth then to leave thy will undone and to be in Heaven for my one sake 149. Ah Lord my Lord and my God I confesse that thou hast in the abundance of thy goodnesse love and mercy done so much for me in bringing me out of Hell and assuring me of Heaven that even all that I can imagine to do to lose or to suffer is so little so too too little as I could wish yea and do wish that I could do more and suffer more to witnesse that my little will is great or desires and would be great willingly 150. Ah Lord I know and am well assured that thy goodnesse is so great and thy greatnesse so good for the sake of my soul that my soul longeth to be great in goodnesse to do great good things for thy great goodnesse sake 151. Ah Lord God seeing what thou hast done for me is to assure me of thine Eternal Love and Mercy in Jesus Christ give me I beseech thee grace that I may not turn thy gifts of grace into wantonnesse but for this thy Love wherewith thou hast loved me grant that it may be a strong and firm obligation unto me to depend upon thy Love and to be assured that thou wilt continue to do as thou hast begun that is continually continue to love me 152. For seeing none but thy self O Lord could do the things that thou hast done that is to love me such a lovelesse yea vile wretch as I am in my self I will therefore be bold to say surely the Lord will ever love me because he doth thus love me and hath ever loved me thus 153. Ah suffer me not then O Lord God holy just and true to depart from thee by setting up any other God in my heart or my heart to love choose or esteem any other good than thy self who art only good all good and able only to do me all good and to make me to do all good 154. Ah Lord God in thine own good time accomplish and finish the good which thou hast begun to work in me by causing me to depart from all evil 155. And suffer me not I humbly beseech thee for thine own great holy and dear name sake to go astray from those holy holy holy waies which thou hast set before me and written with the finger of thine own Spirit on my heart 156. But grant O Lord that my Soul may continually be ravisht with the pleasantnesse of them and to delight to sit alwaies under the shadow of thy branches for thou knowest O Lord thou right wel knowest how sweet and delightful the fruit of thy Word and the knowledge of thy waies is to the tast of my Soul 157. And therefore and to praise thee doth my Soul long to come into thy house to behold thy beauty and thy glory as in thy Sanctuary and to hide my self under the shadow of thy wings that no evil may come nigh me to hurt me 158. Ah Lord thou that hast wrought in me holy desires to do thy whole and holy will give me grace to teach and instruct others and to tell them how willing thou art to teach all sinners to come out of their sins and to direct them how to walk wel pleasing
unto thee and to lead them by the hand that they slip not 159. Ah Lord suffer me not to do as do the men of the World to labour to heap up and gather these things that profit not and to leave behind me much of these low earthly outward things that endure but for a season but let me rather cast off these garments bespotted in the flesh and follow thee naked and gather up and distribute those true and heavenly riches which shall make the Soul glad and rich and honourable for ever that my heirs may be heirs of Heaven and not of earth 160. Ah Lord Let all the Worlds all be all unto me as I was unto thee when in it and of it even as a menstruous cloth and my all not worth any thing at all 161. Ah Lord suffer me not to mind earth any more with an earthly but with a heavenly mind and that my heart my be alwaies there where my true only and everlasting treasure is and that I may live in the World as if I were not of the World and use these things below as low things even as if I used them not 162. Ah Lord suffer me not to mind these things my self which I teach and labour to have others forget and not to mind and so save them but perish my self 163. Ah Lord full of grace give me grace to shew forth unto all that all my covetings ambition and longings are for the things above and not for these things here below and that these things here are fit and only fit for such as have their heatts and affections here 164. Ah Lord sure yea most sure it is that those that are risen with thee will seek the things that are above even where thou fittest at the right hand of God and that those that do it not are not yet risen but lye dead in the grave of their sins 165. Ah Lord suffer not the World to deceive any that their Souls may not be deceived and they perish for ever in their sins 166. But bring them all home Ah Lord bring them all home unto thy self and betroth them all to thy self here by grace that thou dost intend to marry unto thy self hereafter in glory 167. Ah Lord I confesse it is not my study nor my care nor yet my careful study nor my studious care that teacheth me wisdom so as to know thee or to learn what thou knowest but it is thy self O Lord it is thy self that givest me that wisdom to know thy self and learning to know what thou knowest for who but thy self hath that wisdom to know thy self or learning in himself from himself to learn what thou O Lord God knowest 168. Ah teach me then so O my good God that art Israels teacher that I may tell henceforth Devil World and flesh that I will no more be taught by them nor follow their teachings 169. I Know O Lord I know that the teachings of men no nor all mens teachings are not able to teach me to know any good but I know that thy teachings O God are able to teach me all good and how to do all good 170. I will rejoyce therefore in what my God can do because he can and therefore I know assuredly that he will do all the things for me that shall be for my good 171. And therefore I will not fear what men can do against me no nor Devils neither for they all can do nothing at all that can hurt me 172. But all my fear shall alwaies be to fear thee O Lord who art my Lord and my fear for to fear thee truly bringeth me true joy yea unspeakable joy 173. For to fear thee as we ought fear thee is to keep thy Commandments to keep thy Commandments with fear is the whole duty of man 174. Ah Lord God I know that thou dost not hear us for our words sake because they are but the words of men nor for our work sake because they are but mens works nor for our own sake because we have forsaken thee but for thy great names sake which is thy self and therefore for thine own sake O Lord I know that thou dost only hear us 175. Ah Lord my Lord my God and my all and my only good Let me alwaies so speak unto thee by thee as thou maiest alwaies hear me and so hear thee as I may alwaies love and fear thee yea make thee all my fear and my love 176. The Spirit of the Lord or the fruits of the Lords Spirit is love joy peace longsuffering gentleness goodness faith meekness temperance lowlinesse of mind humble patient bountiful and rich in good works forgiving and forgetting all injuries and wrongs beareth reproaches and scandals rejoycingly doth hurt nor violence to no man eschueth all evil and followeth hard after all good with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life serving the Lord constantly frequentâ—y circumspectly obediently willingly chearfully rejoycingly and perseveringly hath peace with all men loveth all men with brotherly kindnesse and doth all good possible to all men especially unto those that are of the household of Faith 177. He that hath the Spirit of the Lord he is faithful and valiant for the Lord fighting his battels couragiously cheerfully gladly rejoycingly and perseveringly unto his lives end he doth not his work negligently nor slothfully but diligently and willingly for his work is his delight his meat and drink yea his Heaven on Earth is to do his Lords will on Earth as it is done in Heaven he desireth no other wages for his work than his work he would continually do his work for his works sake for his yoak is easie to him and his burthen light 178. He that hath the Spirit of the Lord abiding in him he is no tale bearer tatler or busie body he medleth not in other mens matters condemneth no man hateth no man wrongeth no man doth violence to no man speaketh evil of no man thinketh evil of no man but alwaies worst of himself 179. He that dwelleth with Gods Spirit dwelleth quietly and peaceably because all things are to him all alike for he knoweth that all things come from God his God that his Providence ordereth all things and therefore he knoweth that all things shall alwaies work altogether for his good yea his very sins which God hateth and only hateth and which he himself hateth above all things and more than all things yet these are not for his worse but for his better and for the increase of his joy comfort and rejoycing in the Lord who bringeth him out of darknesse into light and turnerh his evil into good for God is now become his God and his Father and loveth him as his Son and therefore will not see his iniquities nor transgressions but passeth by all his sins looking on him not as a pardoned sinner but as a son that never sinned God seeth his best but will not see his worst his good but not his hatred
against him God so delighteth in him that all that he doth and doth not delighteth him because he knoweth the thoughts of his heart and desires of his Soul towards him and for him therefore he esteemeth taketh and accepteth of what he would do as if he did what he should do 180. He that hath the Spirit of God in him is made holy he sinneth no more he is sanctified throughout in Spirit Soul and body his heart will and affections serve the Lord alwaies though with his flesh he serve the Law of sin yet with his mind he serves the Law of God he hateth all the evil which he doth and loveth all the good which he doth not so as sin yea all sin is become unto him so exceeding sinful as he would not sin either in thought word or deed to have grace abound in him no nor glory neither it is no longer therefore he that sinneth but sin that dwelleth in him for he hateth all sin with a perfect hatred and he so loveth holinesse and righteousnesse as he longeth after it he seeketh for it as for silver and searcheth for it as for hid treasures it is become his whole and only end and aime he hath no other ambition he coveteth nothing else he desireth much grace that he may give God much glory daily grace that he may give him daily glory continually grace that he may give him continually glory 181. He that hath this Spirit of God in him is led in the wayes of all truth and holinesse which is everlasting life and happinesse and he hath overcome the World and that wicked one he is departed from all iniquity in thought word and deed he hath crucified the world with all its lusts and affections and the world is crucified unto him he seeketh no longer to please the flesh by satisfying the lusts and affections thereof he serveth not God for the loaves only but he seeketh more after Heaven for God than God for Heaven for to honour obey please and serve him is Heaven to him 182. This Spirit helpeth his infirmities teacheth him Heavenly Wisdome so as to know what the mind and will of God is and to discern the great mysteries of his salvation and to know God in the spirit 183. This spirit assureth him of his Eternal Election being the Divine and Eternal purpose of God by Jesus Christ we have an access by one spirit unto the Father 184. This spirit witnesseth unto him that hath it his effectual Calling his Adoption Justification Sanctification and Glorification and makes him to cry Abba-Father and to come boldly unto his glorious Throne of grace and gratious Throne of glory and to say with Thomas my Lord and my God and with Paul I know whom I have believed and whom I love and therefore saith boldly as Peter Lord thou knowest that I love thee 185. This spirit of God leads him by the hand and directs him how he shall walk and tells him what he shall do and suffers him not to goe aside either to the right hand or to the left of honours riches or pleasures it makes him to esteem all these things below as earthly low things even as nothing for the whole world is much too little for him is not enough to satisfie please or content him for he looks on its all even as nothing at all as durt dung and dross he is content in all estates and conditions for he knows both how to want and how to abound and with St. Paul to say as sorrowful yet alwayes rejoycing as poor yet making many rich as having nothing yet possessing all things for Christ is his exceeding gain his Heavenly riches his true treasure he hath now learnt to know Christ and him Crucified and therefore rejoyceth only in the Cross of Christ and saith I have none in Heaven but thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee Christ is now only his all and his all to him to live is Christ he mindeth none but Christ nor nothing but Christ and what he hath done for him he so loveth and delighteth in him as he is become all his talk all day long and his meditations and songs in the night if he sleeps yet he talks with him so that sleeping as well as waking he desires to have him in his thoughts and never to have his thoughts off from him and his sleep he accounts not sweet if he have had no Conversation with him by Communication and as soon as he is awake he is before his eyes and he presently recollects and recounts his mercyes and delighteth in that he oweth him more and more for though he oweth him so much yet he longs to owe him as much more and though he cannot pay him any thing yet he is not ashamed every moment to ask him all things and nothing less then all things which is himself will content him and though he have his word and promise for it yet he will have his seal also and when he hath both sign and seal yet he must have it daily yea Hourly yea as it were every moment if he could and though he accounts that he hath nothing so sure yet he would alwayes have him assure him of it not that he doubts at all of his word or promise but that he might alwayes bear in mind this his sweet and gratious promise to sweeten all other sowers of afflictions and temptations and to imbitter all other worldly and fleshly sweets he is so wedded unto him as he is never at rest nor ease if he do not alwayes behold him if he do not alwayes smile upon him if he do not still speak peace unto him if he do not in all places cause the light of his blessed Countenance to shine upon him he is so in love with him and so loveth him as if he could he would willingly think of no other speak of no other nor act for no other he would most willingly spend his all and be all spent for him follow him wheresoever he goeth though it were to be banisht imprisoned and made the poorest vilest and contemptiblest of men yea though it should bring sickness and death he is much grieved for that he hath so little to loose for him he accounts his life and all not any thing at all not worth the offering unto such a God as he is that hath done so much as he hath done for him Ah when he afresh considers hereof how afresh doth his grief and sorrow begin and most because he cannot grieve and sorrow as he would he is so wounded afresh with his new old love or his old new love as now he finds nothing lovely in himself to witness his love unto him he cannot do for him the half that he would do and Ah how is he troubled that he doth and is able to do so little for him that he loveth so much Ah how willing is he and how willingly would he do his whole and
which the wind driveth too and fro as he was made of nothing so in a moment he turns to nothing their breath goeth forth they rerurn to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish he is as the grass of the earth and as the flower of the field which to day is and to morrow is not he is so perishable as he can be compared to nothing but to nothing 194. This Spirit sheweth us that those things which we see not and cannot see be unto us as if they were and these things which we see are as if they were not because we value them not but as Pilgrims and strangers we seek a Country an Habitation not made with hands Eternal in the Heavens 195. This Spirit openeth unto our sence reason and understanding that which no man can shut and shutteth that which no man can open this spirit declareth unto us what the mind and will of God is for our good and worketh in us a holy conformity in all our minds wills and affections to be carefully studious and studiously careful to walk in all well pleasing before him it maketh us to press forward to comprehend that for which we are also comprehended of Christ Jesus our Lord it worketh in us a fear that increaseth our love and such love as casteth out all fear it maketh us to do all that we do for him and not for our selves loving him much more for himself than for our own selves and more for his glory then for our own glory if such long to be with him it is to do him more and better service for here we can know but in part and do but in part but there we shall know him as he is to be known and do for him all things which were fore-ordained and appoynted by him before that we were and that is to possesse him wholly and holy as he is that is as much as is possible for us Creatures 196. This Spirit warmeth our hearts so with his divine Love and maketh us partakers of his divine nature that daily we grow more and more conformable and like unto him and to comprehend and know more and more what is the length the bredth the heighth of the depth of his love to his children and servants and to be such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it entred into the heart of any man to conceive rightly the things that God hath prepared for those that love him 197. The Spirit causeth them where it dwelleth to feel what they cannot comprehend nor expresse and it so filleth their hearts with such Joy in believing that there is no joy like unto it this is that true bread of life that feedeth them unto eternal life this is that true water of life that causeth us never more to thirst with fear or doubtings this is that Rock flowing with hony that reviveth the fainting Spirits of every true Jonathan that tasts it with the mouth of Faith yea this is that heavenly Mannah and bread of Angels and Saints on which they feed and are satisfied in heaven these are the Royal Robes which Jesus Christ our Bridegrome arrayeth us with even his own Righteousnesse and true holinesse this filleth our Lamps with that burning oyl of assurance that we shall be admitted unto that marriage Feast and Supper of the Lamb this gives them all to know that their names are written in the Book of life and that their lives are hid with Christ in God So that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming they shall also appear with him in glory this causeth them to hear his most sweet and blessed voyce come ye blessed of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you before the foundation of the World was laid this assureth them that God is and will be their Portion for ever this causeth them to know that they shall all sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob and that God will not be ashamed to be called their God and to own them for his own even for his sons and daughters in Jesus Christ this is that new name which they all know that have it and this is that which fills them with true love to adore all his Attributes of Justice as well as of mercy and for that there is a Hell for the wicked as a Heaven for the righteous for their greatest joy and glory is for that he is what he is and for that he doth what he doth for all things that pleaseth him pleaseth them his honour is their honour and his glory their glory and therefore they delight to blesse and praise and laud and extol and magnifie his holy name and this causeth them so earnestly to beseech and beg and pray Souls to come unto Christ and to wash and bath themselves in this fountain of his blood which is allwaies open for sin and for uncleannesse this maketh them to prize it above all works knowing that it is the work of the Lord and that in it he is well pleased and that many are losers in the losse of a Soul and that great is the joy in Heaven at the conversion of a sinner this makes them to feel what they speak and to speak what they feel this makes them so willing to spend and to be spent and to follow the Lamb of righteousnesse wheresoever he goeth and to go and do and suffer quietly willingly joyfully cheerfully and patiently all that is commanded them alwaies saying O Lord send me and as Samuel speak Lord for thy servant heareth and with David my heart is ready and with Paul Lord what wilt thou have me to do take all my worldly and fleshly honours pleasures and delights make me if thou wilt as poor and as contemptable as thou thy self wast when thou wert here on earth I am content what thou wilt and only what thou wilt and all that thou wilt O Lord is the desires covetings longings and ambition of my heart and Soul for I have nor would have no other will than thy will and to do thy holy whole and blessed will here on earth as it is done in Heaven for this O Lord thou knowest is the Heaven that my soul desireth to have on Earth I shall rejoyce to be banisht to be trampled on to be a gazing and a mocking stock to be derided and scoffed at any thing Lord let me be and suffer in spirit soul and body so I may but bring home poor souls that they may not go unto that place of torment but be received by thee into thy mansion of glory to sing for ever Hallelujahs of praise honour and glory unto thy most holy and most glorious name with all that numberlesse number of Angels and Saints and with the Spirits of just men made perfect Ah who would not lose a member of his own body yea though it were all his members as the blessed Martyrs did to make up a member of Christs body for who
would not have his Kingdom increase and Satans decrease who would not fight for Christ against all his enemies and adversaries knowing that they are already conquered and made his foot-stool who would not labour to undeceive poor silly Souls that go on so fast and run so swift in the waies of Eternal destruction and whose feet make hast to death and who drink up iniquity as it were water and rush into all evil as the horse rusheth into the battel and that rise early and go to bed late that they may yet sin the more and notwithstanding they commit not half the evil that they would they are thus ensnared to their own hurt Ah who would not labour to free such poor creatures as are slaves and drudges and serve such a Master as gives such wages as is Hell death and destruction eternally both for body and Soul Ah who is not an Orator fit enough to set forth the uglinesse and the filthinesse of sin which thus defileth the heart in which God so much delighteth and desireth to dwell and which depraves them of his most blessed and most glorious Image and makes them the Image of the Devil instead of being a member of Christ it makes them a member of Satan instead of being a child of God and an heir of Heaven yea coheir with Jesus Christ it makes them a child of wrath an heir of hell and coheir with the Devil and his Angels of Gods eternal and unplacable wrath and vengance which shall ever burn them but never consume them for God himself will laugh at their great calamity and mock when their fear cometh Ah who would not rejoyce to do such a work as to hinder poor Souls from having such a portion as this and bring them home to Jesus Christ who is the great Doctor who will give them this his Holy Spirit to teach them lead them direct and instruct them in those things which belong to their eternal peace and Salvation which is in all truth and holinesse 198. Thus are all those in whom this Spirit of God dwelleth made partaker of his own holy and divine nature to love the brethren even with this true sincere and free love that they may for ever and ever enjoy that true and free Love of God which shall make them for ever free from all miseries and pains and of all pleasures and joyes enjoying him who enjoyeth all things in himself from himself with whom is all joy unspeakable joy fulnesse of joy and at whose right hand are pleasures for ever more 199. Thus blessed and for ever blessed are all those that have this blessed Spirit of God for their Portion on Earth which shall lead them as the Sons of God unto God their Father and their Portion in Heaven who is the Portion the Father and the everlasting Rest of all the blessed 200. Ah blessed condition to be thus blessed by the Spirit of God yea by the God of all Spirits having hearts so full of true love and charity as to long labour and desire to have all others thus blessed with themselves and as themselves that are so full of the Love of God as to love all others as they love themselves and would have all beloved by him Ah Holy Father increase this thy love in the hearts of all thy children and servants here on Earth that we may together go hand in hand witnessing that the love wherewith we love one another is from thy Love and that we live in thee and thou in us who art all Love even the God of Love and that it is from thy Love and the living of thy holy and blessed Spirit in us that we thus love or love thus 201. Ah Lord God for thine own great glorious and holy names sake take not this thy Holy Spirit the Comforter from me but let it ever abide and dwell in me that I may alwaies go forth before thee rejoycing as the Bride rejoyceth in her Bridegroom for thou O Lord knowest my many weaknesses and imperfections and that I cannot do any thing well pleasing unto thee without the assistance of this thy Holy Spirit for that my heart is all evil only evil and continually evil leave me therefore O Lord this thine holy and blessed Spirit the Sanctifier and the Comforter that I may be ever led in the waies of all truth and holinesse which may conduct me unto thy dwelling place which is all peace rest holinesse blessednesse and eternal life and happinesse 202. Here followeth a short Admonition Exhortation or advice unto all carelesse sinners that prize not this life or living of Gods Holy Spirit in them that they would no longer quench its motions but come out of their sins and tast and see how gratious the Lord is 203. Ah poor most poor and most miserable man for thou thou only art truely miserably poor that art Christlesse though thou aboundest in Corn Wine and Oyl though thou farest delicately every day and art arraied with Purple Scarlet and fine linnen though thou feedest on the delicasies of Egypt and enjoyest all this Worlds good the honours riches and pleasures thereof though thou lyest on the beds of Ivory and hast thy Palaces bedeckt with the gold of Ophir and the pretious Pearls and Diamonds of the Orient though Princes should be thy servants and Kings daughters thy maidens yet remember for all this thou shalt dye and come to Judgement thine honour and thy riches shall not save thee but in the day of thy distresse they shall take themselves wings and flye away from thee miserable comforters are all such comforts Ah put not put not thy trust then on such things as in a moment ere thou art aware shall be taken from thee or thou from them 204. Awake awake from the dead thou carelesse man why sleepest thou arise and Christ shall give thee light and life why Ah why wilt thou be so obstinate as thus wittingly knowingly and wilfully neglect so great Salvation and be thus idle all the day long dost thou not know that the night is coming wherein no man shall work and the day when thou shalt say thou hast no pleasure in them Remember Ah Remember thou that sleepest in security that drinkest in iniquity as water and vanity as with cart-ropes that sayest to thy Soul eat drink and take thy fill of pleasures and to morrow shall be as this day Ah thou fool when wilt thou be wise may not thy Soul this night be taken from thee whose then shall those things be and what Ah what shall become of all those thy vain pleasures and delights thou canst not carry any of them with thee but as thou camest into the World naked so thou shalt naked return from earth thou cam'st and to earth thou shalt again return thine honour shall not go down into the pit with thee nor thy money neither 205. Deceive not then Ah deceive not then thy self any longer with those vain things which are
shall be never nearer him then it is he knoweth he shall ever live thus that is be thus ever with God in God and see him and know him as he is to be known and seen which is to possesse him for ever and for ever 280. Thus then holinesse and sin are Opposites and Enemies but holinesse destroyes sin as light doth darknesse this eternal darknesse of sin must vanish when this eternal everlasting light of holinesse doth appear thus is it conquered and overcome because holinesse is from God and sin from the Devil holinesse from the Creator sin from the Creature holinesse had never beginning nor shall never have end sin had a beginning and therefore not from the beginning the Devil then brought sin into the World but God who is holinesse was so before time before that ever the World or the Devil was sin then is the lesser being from the Creature the worser being from the Devil holinesse the greater being from the Creator the better being and proceeding from him that is all good and giveth all good to all to make them good all yea all good as himself for all the good that is in all the Creatures in Heaven and on earth is from his good he filleth them all but emptyeth not himself at all he is still the same still full yea so full still as he overfloweth still into them from his own fullnesse ad they though filled full yet do they still receive from his fulnesse without having in them any emptinesse being alwaies full from the very beginning that they are with him and yet are they continually receiving as if they were as well emptyed as filled thus doth our good gratious loving and merciful God satisfie us and resasiate us every moment giving us what we ask not what we want not what we know not and though he doth thus increase his blessings by blessing us yet doth he not suffer them to decrease in us when given us but we retain all hold fast all keep all rejoyce in all and give him glory for all which is what he only requires for this his continually giving of us all even to give him continually for ever and ever all glory for his thus ever and for ever giving us all grace perfect grace and glory yea fulnesse of all perfect grace and glory 281. As on Earth we delight to have much so nothing more delights God than that we crave much the more we ask the more we are sure to have and therefore doth he did us to open our mouths wide and then he promiseth to fill them and the wider they are the sooner they shall be filled his waies nor his thoughts are not as ours he is never weary giving nor repenteth importunate beggers are best welcome and those that are not satisfied with a little he takes pleasure to give them much our dissatisfaction herein is his satisfaction our covetings causeth his liberality with our ambition to have all and to be denyed nothing at all he is right well pleased and by thus exalting him as our chief and only good doth he exalt us and set us on such high mountains that we can even see not only such a glory as is the glory of this World and the old Jerusalem but that of his Kingdom of Grace here and Glory hereafter the New Jerusalem the City of our God where he is sitting on his Throne of Majesty and great Glory unvailing himself as it were that we may behold him and his unapproachable transcendent bright glorious light of Glory 282. I would be willingly barren even of all Spiritual comforts if thereby I might be made more able to bear fruit to God and for God I would have no comfort nor delight if thereby as it were I could and did more delight and comfort my God that is I would rather Joy God than enjoy God by knowing or feeling nor that I could be content to know that I were without him that he were not my God God forbid but I prefer him much before my own chief good of Joy his glory being my only yea all my Glory 283. I would rather yea much rather do Gods work here and have no wages than have wages here and do no work 284. I had rather yea much rather whilst here be alwaies working than alwaies receiving wages for this life of time I know is appoynted for our working time and our hereafter life of time for our time of reciveing wages 285. I would whilst here be willing to spend all my time to do all good for I know that all my hereafter time shall be all spent in receiving all good 286. I would willingly most willingly work Gods work alwaies while here for that Ah for that blessed wages which I know I shall receive from him for ever hereafter which is such and so great as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of man at any time to conceive I know that I shall enter not only into the joy of my Lord but also into the Lord of my joy 287. It is wages great enough and good enough to be alwais doing thy great good work O Great God 288. I would willingly Ah most willingly serve the Lord most and best of all men if I could and yet I desire as much and as willingly would that every man might serve him more and please him better 289. Ah what delight is it to that soul that delights his God what joy doth it bring to that heart that joyeth his God that is to rejoyce alwaies in him for God much delighteth in those yea most of all that make him their only delight 290. Ah Lord how unpleasant are all other pleasures to those that flow from thee how empty Ah how empty is all other fulnesse what poverâ—â— Ah how beggarly a thing is all other riches and how little Ah how little joy doth that Soul take in all other things that knoweth thee and the Ocean of joy yea fulnesse of joy and blessednesse that is O Lord in thee and prepared by thee to rejoyce them that thus wait at thy gates and are hunger-starved for want of it 292. Who can Ah who can measure the Heavens span the Earth empty the Sea count the Starrs and the sands of the Sea shore if not who then can rightly speak of or tell the mercies of our God who delighteth in mercy yea whose mercies are far above all these and all other his works 291. How willingly Ah how willingly would I forget my self to mind only my God and to do all his mind to fulfill all his will and to rejoyce in all his doings I would love my self my own self no more but only my God my God only and ever adore I would willingly deny my self that is my flesh all pleasures to please him that hath rivers of pleasures provided to please fill and satisfie me with even such as flow from his own right hand 293.
Ah Lord God how much better is it to see thy sweet thy blessed and most amiable face in thine Ordinances and in duties than the face of the most glorious Angel in glory 294. Yea Lord yea thy back parts here I much prefer to see and behold than all their faces 295. Surely a day yea one hour of a day is to be preferred of communion with thee before the enjoyment of all things out of thee all our dayes 296. For in thee O Lord in thee is all things but out of thee is nothing desirable 297. All sweets but thine are bitter 298. But O Lord how savoury yea how pleasant and sweet are thy bitter when thou seasonest them with grace 299. Thy Voyce rejoyceth O Lord more that Soul to whom it speaketh peace than all the joyes of the World can to any man if he did alwaies and ever enjoy all their sweets and never enjoy any of their bitter 300. Above all things and more than all things my soul desireth thee O Lord God who art the Lord of all things 301. Loving of God is knowing of him fearing of him is adoring of him choosing him shews a delight in him running after him is prizing of him seeking of him shews our longing desire for him to hunger and thirst for him is imbracing of him with eager covetings to serve him is to honour him to rejoyce in him is to glorifie him to praise him is to magnifie him and to worship him is to exalt him 302. It is better and more profitable many times to be silent than to speak for the eagernesse of our desires to speak takes away and hinders us from comprehending what we do hear so as we consider not what is spoken so much as what we desire and would speak 303. But Ah how much better is it to hear the Spirit of God speak to our hearts than the spirit of man to our ears or our selves to our selves to consult with the Spirit and to talk with the Spirit than with the flesh either our own or others though they have the Letter yea and the Spirit too 304. For what we hear from God in the Spirit by meditation is usually engraven and written as it were with the pen of a diamond on and in the heart by the finger of God but the words of men are even as man whose breath is in his nostrils soon blown out soon put out emptyed and brings forth nothing comes to nothing being a part of that whole man nothing nothing man 305. Ah Lord God thou knowest how willingly I would be deaf and not hear any of mans words so I could or were alwaies to hear thee and dumb to and not able to speak to man so I might and were fit and able alwaies to speak unto thee I would willingly be blind to all things and see nothing of all the things out of thee so I could alwaies Ah so I could alwaies see thee I would willingly most willingly lose all things to have all thee or to be all thine enjoy nothing at all but thee O God in Christ but thee but thee for enjoying thee I shall be compleat and enjoy all things for thou art all things desireable yea thou only art all my desires being all things 306. The greatest work we can do for God I conceive is to destroy sin and to endeavour to extinguish it and root it out of the greatest sinners is the greatest work as it is greater glory to God speaking as men to forgive many sins and great ones than few and small ones and when we are most tempted or enticed then to labour most to overcome them in our selves and in others Ah then then the work is great and well wrought and be sure great shall be thy recompence of reward if thou so livest and actest thine own heart is not able to conceive be thou what thou wilt how great thy wages shall be even here 307. But in Heaven we shall be filled with all joy unspeakable joy fulnesse of joy and have no desire for any other for any more than those which we shall enjoy and yet I conceive that every moment it shall increase by and from the reflections on Gods most glorious and holy attributes the Soul being not able to comprehend them all at once and yet she shall never at any time desire more nor conceive that more is or can be than she enjoyeth we shall be alwaies so full of all being filled with God who is all and therefore we cannot be capable of emptinesse or of any want and so by consequence of no desire such is the Souls blessednesse but how much more thou only O God who art not only wise but Wisdom it self knowest and none else doth or can being not able to comprehend thee to receive thee or to know thee as thou truly art being an invisible and incomprehensible Ocean and Fountain of all good blessednesse felicity peace rest joy eternity and eternal happinesse thou only O God comprehendest all things and hast all things in thy self from thy self thy self only being all things and yet both much more and much above all things 308. I would much rather think on nothing then on any thing out of or besides God 309. To think on nothing me thinks are good thoughts in comparison of any other thing out of God and besides God 310. Ah how sweet are those sweets not to think that is to resolve and intend never to tast more of the bitter sweets of sin 311. Ah how sweet a thing is it not to sin though a man do else nothing or nothing else but to keep his thoughts from sin 312. Sinful thoughts are harsh and hard thoughts and cannot be savoured or digested but by those that live in sinne and sinne in them 313. Feed me O Lord feed me continually with the breathings of thy Holy Spirit which is the true bread and water of life the heavenly Mannah which the Angels still feed on with joy and delight and are never weary the blessed solace themselves with but do not surfeit the Saints here below continually hunger thirst gape pant and longa after and cannot with any other thing or things subject or object be fully satisfied 314. To fare delitiously every day is to feed on and fill our hearts thoughts and affections with the Love and kindnesse or the loving kindnesse of God in Christ. 315. To be arrayed gorgeously and gloriously is to be arrayed with humble and low thoughts of our selves esteeming our own righteousnesse unrighteousnesse and our very best bad enough to condemn us into Hell for ever but to have high heavenly thoughts of the righteousnesse and merits of Jesus Christ and that through his holiness worhiness and perfect obedience we shall be made perfectly holy and eternally happy 316. To be right Honourable and truly Honoured is to be Gods children and servants sons and daughters to him who is King of Kings and Lord of Lords 317. To have
my inward man may be filled with the Spirit whether the body live or dye as for the bodies sake I care not though the body be hunger starved it shall for sure I am it will be well content if the Spirit be thus fed and filled with the presence breathings and Communion of thy Spirit t is not Ah Lord t is not thou well knowest the Quails and Mannah from Heaven nor thy body and blood corporally but spiritually that my Soul longeth for and my heart desireth aud panteth after so that it even fainteth for lack of it Ah give me that or else I dye I dye indeed corporally spiritually and eternally from which deaths O Lord by thine own death I trust I hope I believe and am confidently assured that thou hast delivered me and wilt deliver me by giving me this Heavenly food of thy holy Spirit to live in thee for thee and to thee here by grace and hereafter in glory this is my belief O Lord increase my Faith strengthen it and comfort it more and more by thine own Spirits living raigning and ruling in my heart by causing it willingly cheerfully and perseveringly to walk in thy waies doing thy will with sincerity integrity and uprightnesse in thought word and deed both towards thee and towards all men for ever and for ever 56. He that maketh wagers usually coveteth if not alwaies therefore surely its best to forbear 57. Ah Lord keep me from coveting any other thing than thy self and thy holy and blessed Spirit to teach me lead me direct me guide and govern me my heart and affections to walk in all thy holy waies and to keep all thy Commandments all my daies 58. For worldly covetings after the things of this World keep our thoughts hearts memories and affections from seeking with coveting desires the things of Heaven or Heavenly things 59. Let me covet thee O Lord ever ever But all things or any thing out of thee never 60. Let my Love be to love thee my delight to delight thee my care O Lord let it be to please thee my groanings to go after thee in thy wayes and let all my joyes be to rejoyce in thee and thy praise and to praise thee O Lord my Lord alalwies 61. Ah suffer me not in other to spend my daies But thus uprightly to walk in all thy waies 62. Covetings for the World makes the affections of the heart to affect the World but covetings for and after Heaven makes the heart and all the affections thereof to affect Heaven and the things in Heaven with a heavenly heart 63. Covetings for the World makes the heart earthly but covetings for Heaven makes the heart heavenly 64. Covetings after God makes the heart God-like according to his heart Covetings after any thing out of God or besides God makes the heart ungodly that is ungodlike and contrary to his heart 65. Couetings after the flesh makes the heart fleshly or a heart in the flesh Covetings after the Spirit makes the heart spiritual yea a heart living in Gods Spirit 66. I suppose that if a man love at times unlawfully lusting after strange flesh only with the flesh that is desires and would their Loves with the flesh but not with the will and mind which is the heart though the flesh saith yea and yields if the Spirit faith nay and yields not and doth much more ardently and vehemently desire and would not their Loves then the flesh doth and would their Loves and the Spirit that is their inward man would much rather have the hatred than their loves and hath sincere hatred and dislike to this Love by the flesh faithfully truly ardently and continually It is not he that sins but sin that dwelleth in him for though with his flesh he serve the Law of sin please the flesh yet he hates detests and abhors the evil which he doth and with his mind he serves the Law of God Gods Law is written in his heart and remains engraven still in the inner man on all his affections 67. As to me I willingly most willingly would if it might be love none but my God alone 68. True Lord true it is the outward man that is the flesh desireth and delighteth in the things of the flesh because it is fleshly as the inner man the heart of the soul and the soul of the heart and all the faculties thereof delighteth and rejoyceth in the things of the Spirit because it is spiritual 69. I have no Heaven here Lord because my Heaven is in thee And yet I have a Heaven Lord here because thou that art Heaven art here and in me 70. Above all keepings keep O Lord O Lord keep my heart my poor heart from sin from choosing delighting approving countenancing or maintaining sin 71. But this is not all no Lord no thou knowest it s to be thy servant to work thy work to do thy will not for my self as for thy self not for my praise applause or honour but for thine for I could not be satisfied though I had all I would have unlesse I do all that for which thou hast created me and appointed me to do 72. 'T is not Ah 't is not the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World the honours riches and pleasures thereof 't is not the honey of Earth but heavens honey that my Soul desireth to tast and ever to feed upon 73. If I had and were ever sure to have all the satisfaction that ever Creature had and I had thee not O my God for my Portion as I firmly believe I have I should and would account my self of all men on Earth the most miserablest 74. I would not give the part and Portion that I have at present in my God for all this Worlds good for all its honours riches and pleasures 75. Ah Lord how much nothing doth all things seem to be when compared to thee 76. Faith hope and Love in thee and for thee O Lord is more worth than all things else that can be given that is not of thee 77. Who is able or can expresse the satisfactions of that Soul unto whom thou hast given Love cordial faithful sincere and persevering Love to love thee 78. Ah how sweet a thing is it to serve the Lord Ah how pleasant and delightsome to walk alwaies in all his wayes and to do all his will willingly 79. Ah Lord my only grief and trouble is because I keep not thy Laws and for that I have not regard to thy Commandments as I would 80. Ah that I were even as a barren wildernesse to bear no fruit for my self and as a dry Spring to give no refreshment to my self to my own self that is my flesh Ah that I were as it were livelesse and lovelesse to my self â—hat I might only live to love and adore thee my God my God 81. What is my life or my self if it be not spent for thee and what are all my daies if I walk not only and
altogether that is alwaies in all thy wayes 82. Weâ—e it not and would it not be much better for me that I were not and that I never had been if I be not O Lord thine and if I live not to thee and for thee to thy praise and for thine honour and glory 83. Beautiful are all thy waies O God they are most yea they are only desirable 84. He that walketh in them without wavering turning aside or going astray shall assuredly at last come to his journeys end to his long home to that Harbour and Haven of rest happinesse eternal felicity and blessednesse 85. To think on any thing out of or besides God brings no true folace joy savour or content 86. But to think on him as we ought how easily and quietly doth it dispel all other thoughts making us to see them as they are naked empty nothing 87. Thoughts on God fill the soul with joy delight and pleasure above and as it were even beyond end and measure 88. Good thoughts if they did no other good than keep out evill thoughts were they are they not to be accounted prized and valued as a great good 89. Thy presence O Lord at all times filleth me with all delights and pleasures and thy absence emptyeth me euen of all 90. When I have thee O Lord I have all I would have Ah but when I want thee I want all even all that my soul desireth that it doth love or crave 91. As I have and according as I have thee O Lord God so are my Joyes and according as I want thee so are my sorrows and grief 92. Thy drawing near doth not only comfort me and satisfie me but also ravish me But at thy departure or absence ah Lord thou knowst thou knowst how my heart quaketh trembleth and is full of doubts cares and fears 93. I cannot O Lord thou knowst I cannot live without the presence of thy Holy Spirit who is my only comfort and comforter for when I want thee O Lord I want all my good things yea I account nothing good 94. It is not the world that I long for or care for it is not O Lord the nether but the upper springs not the left-hand mercies but the right-hand not the footstool but the Throne favours that I esteem favours and mercies indeed 95. O Lord my Lord and my God do thou I beseech thee so possess my heart that I man only be possest with thee 96. O Lord be thou pleased so to live in me that I may only and alwaies live to thee and for thee 97. Give O Lord give so thy self to me as I may give my self to thee 98. When I want thee my God who art my all and my only good I want all even all But when I have thee O Lord thou knowst my heart saith it hath all it hath all I would have all that it doth think on or desire or crave 99. How much nothing O Lord is all other things to thee And how much above all things O Lord art thou to me 100. Give me then thy self O Lord my Lord and I will alwaies chearfully say I have all and that I desire nothing else at all but unless thou dost O Lord my God give me thy self thy only and thy very very self thou knowst that all things seem to me and are esteemed by me even as nothing as dirt as dung as dross 101. Thou knowest O God my God that I cannot live without thee and I desire only to live to live in thee to thee and for thee 102. Ah that I were dead to all things and all things dead to me that I might only be alive to thee 103. Oh that all things would take themselves wings and fly from me that I might not be kept back from flying up to thee my God my God 104. In thee O Lord there is true rest a rest of peace in truth but out of thee O God there is no rest for the sole of the foot of my soul. 105. I cannot rest but on thy breast I cannot live but in thy Love I cannot walk but in thy way I cannot Joy but in thy day I cannot run but unto thee I cannot see but only thee I cannot joy but in thy Love I am not well but when above O God my God take me to thee That no other I ever see For seeing thee I see that all That ever was and ever shall That Glorious Sun that blessed light That shews to go by day and night That giveth all things unto all That ever were and ever shall To thee O God and thy Great Name Be ever praise laud and great fame From this time forth for ever more Thy self thy love I will adore 106. How sweet O God Oh God how sweet are thy Sweets 107. Oh happy condition to enjoy thee O God whatever my condition be 108. O heavenly heart that is alwaies in heaven meditating on thee God the heaven of heaven in heaven 109. Oh happy he that hath alwaies heaven in his mind that minds only heaven and the things that are in heaven 110. Such ah such a heart O Lord who are the Lord of heaven and earth give me that my heart may be according to thine own heart yea that my heart may be in thine and thine in mine that thou maiest O Lord God so empty thy self into me that I may for ever and for ever be emptied into thee and filled by thee with thee 111. O Ocean of all goodness continue to shower into me the abundant showers yea floods of thine infinite good even as thou hast heretofore many many ah many times done that I may rejoyce and be glad in them as well when I have them not and feel them not as when I feel I have them 112. Ah Lord my Soveraign Lord and God my Superiour and Supream good the good that is only able to glad me and to make me rejoyce fill me ah fill me O Lord with these goods and good things that flow out continually from thee that I may see thy goodness thy beauty and thy glory as in thy Sanctuary 113. Ah the true satisfactory soul-ravishing Joys to enjoy thee O God and those Joyes that thou givest away away far from me all earthly Joyes earths Joyes for ye are but earth and therefore no Joyes but even false Joyes and foolish yea very foolish toyes 114 O my soul my soul awake awake and see them their deformity their ugliness their dung and dunghil likeness to those savoury sweet pleasant and delight some pleasures that thou givest out of the Garden the Orchard and the Fountain of pleasures that are in thy Palaces 115. Ah how doth that heart leap and rejoyce when it enjoyes thee O God wholly when it enjoys thee only how willing ah how willing is it to be divorced separated and banished from all things whatever that are out of thee and besides thee 116. And how unwilling is it ah how unwilling
delights and desires 31. Though they were but a moment before so violent and strong that they carryed him down even head long which scared and affrighted him so as if the time of deliverance had been far off he durst not Ah he durst not presume to imagine that such a calme was so nigh at hand sinful fleshly motions and affections did in a manner delight him that he even did as it were allow its raigne and permit at least would almost have conniv'd and wink'd at the beginnings of evil though he well Ah though he well and clearly foresaw the Consequences to be very great and greatly dangerous 32. But on a sudden Ah on a sudden how did Ah how did all these tentations vanish away how slighted Ah how much slighted how trampled on Ah hovv much trampled on hovv cast aside Ah hovv cast aside how trampled and trodden under feet hovv soon Ah how soon was the memory thereof forgotten and hoow svveet Ah how sweet was its forgetfulnesse delightful its divorce and joyful its destruction 33. And hovv willing Ah hovv vvilling O Lord God thou only knowest that soul is that thus possesseth thee and is possest by thee to live Ah ever to live in this possession and to be for ever and ever thus possest by thee 34. The worlds chief joyes are then but meere and foolish royes he would not no nor cannot give a look on them they are so barren so unfruitful so empty so sottish so brutish to such an enlightned understanding that he cares not to understand nor consider what they are 35. Ah how how doth he wish it might be ever thus with him and that he might be thus ever senceless and dead to the worlds all and account all its all alwayes nothing at all nay make no account of it no not so much as think of it 36. When that the soul is Ah when that the soul is thus wrapt up in Gods love when she is thus emptied as it were into him and filled with him how is she Ah how is she at rest and ease how calme how tranquil how quiet how rich how honourable and how refresht and delighted how hath she Ah how hath she all her desires and doth not nor cannot desire more Ah what peace what felicity and what praises and giving of thanks how doth she Ah how doth she forget the evil that is past and rejoycech in the good that is present 37. How is the world and the things of the world cast out of doores and how Ah how are the doores of all his affections opened to let in his God to enjoy him and to make him his all and his only joy 38. Ah my God goe on goe on my God my God to Conquer Triumph and prevaile over all the lusts and affections which are yet within me unsubdued uncast out unthrone them O Lord unthrone them and trample them all O Lord all both the great and the small under thy feet in the greatnesse of thy wrath and fury that they may be utterly destroyed and never more come near me to hurt me or destroy my poor soul who cleaves to thee who sticks fast to thee who desires to hold thee and never Ah never to let thee goe Ah that I could that I could thus live with thee and in thee ever and depart from thee never O Lord never never see Psal. 28. 39. Great is the goodnesse of the Lord to those that fear his name And to all those that keep his lawes and delight in the same For they shall see him with great joy and shall his honour speak Their joy shall be to Laud his name and he shall make them great 40. Oh give your selves to me saith he and I will be your guide And you shall in my Laws remaine for I will you delight To walk in them you shall have hearts for all your joy shall be To live to praise my holy name the Lord of Hoasts saith he 41. Goe forth with joy both ev'ning and morne and let your praise redound Oh clap your hands and greatly joy for that you have him found For having him you have that all that mighty all alwayes There is none else deserves like fame as his Eternal praise 42. O come into his Courts alwayes and therein rest you still Be glad and mightily rejoyce when that you do his will To do thy will is all my joy and all that I desire Ah give me grace to do it still and nothing else require 43. Ah great God how great is thy love and how lovely Ah how lovely is thy greatnesse 44. What have I Ah Lord my God what have I when I have thee not and what have I not when O Lord God I have thee 45. How low Ah how low are all these high things here below to those high most high and glorious things of heaven which the soul enjoyes even here on earth in the flesh when that it hath Communion with God and enjoyes him in the Spirit 46. Of what and how little account and esteem doth he account and esteem of all Companies of Friends Children Father Mother or the Wife of his bosome when he can or may enjoy the company of his God he will not nor cannot then consent to converse with flesh and bloud when he may when he can by the Spirit through the Spirit speak to God and hear him answer him Ah how the soul at such time is satisfied delighted ravished filled and comforted how quiet how peaceable how willing chearful and glad to obey all his will 47. And how detestable hateful loathsome ugly filthy and abominable at such times especially are all lusts all affections worldly and fleshly are all sins of any rank though never so little though never so sweet near or dear he hates all both the great and the small 48. When that a soul enjoys that blessed blessedness of Communion with God it will not ah it will not have Communion fellowship or converse with any other Creature or thing he will not mind any thing else nor suffer any thing else to come into his mind 49. He is then so stuft as it were and so full filled with God and the joyes of his grace that he is divorced emptied and outed as it were of all other things yea all things are so much out of him that is out of his heart out of his mind out of his memory out of his affections his desires his will his love or his liking that his joy is augmented greatly that they are so outed of him for then only he saith Now I have what I would have yea all that ever I did desire or crave for my God is to me all things and much better than all other things 50. Ah Lord bury me I most humbly beseech thee thus in thy self that I may be dead to all other things to all things out of thee and besides thee let me ah let me so possess thee and be possest so
by thee as I may only and alwaies mind thee and have thee only and alwaies in my mind Let love to all the pleasures of the flesh though lawful be low poor icy cold and frozen to me that I may flee from them all to be heated by the fire of thy love to live in those blessed Sacred flames which is the life I desire to live for out of them I cannot live as I would life is to me death and death would be a sweet life delivering me from many deaths 51. Suffer me not ah suffer me not O Lord to love any thing else how lovely or lawful soever it may be if it hinder or lessen never so little my loving of thee but let me only choose prize esteem and delight in thy love and to walk worthy of it by all well-pleasing rejoycing to do thy holy will with my whole heart mind and will 52. Such and so great is thy love and thy goodness O Lord that thou delightest to make us good and then delightest in our goodness thou delightest to give us grace and then delightest in our graces thou delightest to make us holy and then delightest in our holiness thou delightest to make us perfect and then thou delightest in our perfection thou delightest to make us obedient and then thou delightest in our obedience thou delightest to make us lovely and then thou takest delight in our loveliness thou delightest ah thou delightest to make us such as thou wouldst have us to be and then thou takest great delight in the work of thine hands even in thine own handy-work 53. Ah our great most great God how greatly great is thy greatness How greatly good is thy goodness how greatly true is thy truth how greatly just is thy Justice how greatly mighty is thy might how greatly lovely is thy love how greatly beautiful is thy beautiful countenance How greatly ah how greatly sweet are all thy Sweets how greatly delightful are all thy delights how pleasant ah how pleasant are all thy pleasant things with thee O God is fulness of all joy unspeakable joy and from thy right hand flow pleasures for evermore 54. Ah the joyes the joyes even in this worlds joyes when God is in them and comes with them and when in that therein alone we take and make all our joy 55. God many times is so gracious as he takes us napping that is gives us grace when we sought it not yea gives us himself many many times when we seek him not when we think not of him 56. How doth he many times measure our unto us and shower down upon us such measure of mercy even when we never measured the sweetness nor the greatness of what received much less of that which we did not of that which we could not expect 57. Ah how much above all things is our God even in the want of all things of all this worlds all that soul ah that soul that hath him finds not nor cannot find any want at all 58. But wanting ah wanting him in the midst of all we have nothing even nothing at all but want all even all in the very enjoyment of all this worlds all 59. O God our God thou fillest us many times so ful that we even flow over with thy fulness even then many times when we see our selves find feel and know our selves most emptie and many times thou causest us to bear and bring forth most fruit even then when we think and see our selves most barren we have thee O God we have thee many times most when we think that we have thee least and thou are nighest us when we think ah when we think that thou art farthest off from us such a good God is our God 60. How much better is it to be a Lazarus to beg at a Dives door than be a Dives and suffer a Lazarus to beg at our doors and not to give him of our goods 61. How much better is it to have nothing at all of this worlds all then to have this worlds all and give of it ah and to give of it unto others nothing at all 62. How much better is it to feed on thee O God and to have nothing else to feed on than to feed on all things else and not to taste of thee of thine own sweet blessed most blessed and most sweet self O God in Christ who art the souls only food by faith 63. Having thee O God we are soon filled yea feasted and solaced with all delicious dainties but feeding on all other things and not tasting O God of thy pleasant things they have all no taste at all 64. O God thou knowst I would most willingly be ah most willinglie I would be a child yea a very fool in wisdom for the world or of worldlie wisdom for to get or keep earthlie things to be an old man in Christ to learn know feel and keep spiritual things Ah if I could alwaies walk talk and live in the Spirit and obey the Spirit I would account all other joyes and wisdome very toyes and meer foolishness 65. To forget all things out of God and besides God and to mind him so as to have nothing else in my mind this ah this is my longing desire and I trust it will continue in me through grace and augment until I have all I would have which is my Christ my Christ who is my God 66. Take all this worlds all ye men of the world give me my God my God and I will never ask yours your God But yet I would that ye had mine that my God were your God that my Portion were all your Portion also and that we might be ever brethren 67. Let me ah let me be blind as it were to see beautie in no beautie out of thee O Christ dumb to hear no voice but thine ah the still sweet voice of thy Spirit and senseless to feel no pleasure but in those things O God as are pleasing pretious and dear in thy fight lame so as I may not walk after any other thing but thee my God my God so that I may be only thine and none but thine at all times and in all places companies and things 68. He that hath not tasted of the sweetnesse of God even of those sweet sweets that God giveth to Souls knoweth it not and therefore desireth it not but Ah he that feedeth on them and hath been resatiated with them he finds no sweets like them nay all other pleasant things unpleasant and all other sweets bitter in comparison of these his sweet most pleasant sweets 69. Beeing with God having God enjoying God and Communion with him a dungeon is to him a Palace bread and water is good cheer to lye on the ground the earth his bed the heavens his canopy and the trees root his pillow is as a bed of down as curtains of gold and pillow of wool nay in flames of fire or on a rack he can lye
softly and sing sweetly so he do but hear the still sweet voyce of God speaking peace to his Soul and bidding it to be of good cheer 70. There is no companie like to no company to be alone with God with God alone if ever it be satisfied it is then satisfied to speak with him to him and to hear God answer him by his Spirit in love Ah the lovely discourse converse delight and joy which makes a man not to know where he is nor whether he be in the flesh or Spirit he is at such times so spiritual 71. Who can Ah who can tell or set forth nay meditate what how good great loving gracious merciful beautiful and abundant is the loving kindnesse the kind Love of God to his children and servants or set forth the sweetnesse and greatnesse of his gifts of Grace 72. He ravisheth them he filleth them he feedeth them he cloatheth them he solaceth them he inricheth them he giveth them such pleasures and joyes as eye hath not seen as ear hath not heard nor as no heart can conceive this honour doth the Lord to those whom he loveth to all his Saints 73. He maketh them to triumph in and over all adversity and prosperity in sicknesse and in health in all places and conditions he is alwaies nigh at hand to those that unfaignedly love him and fear him and that tremble at his Word 74. He causeth his goodnesse to passe before them and proclaimeth as with an audible voice that he will be ever and for ever their God and their Guide their Sun and their shield their peace and their everlasting portion that he will never leave them nor forsake them but alwaies and ever own them for his own and so stand by them and live and dwell in them that no evil shall come nigh them to hurt them or to do them the least harm but every thing shall alwaies work together for his own glory and their everlasting good 75. Thus they that honour him he will honour they that flye to him shall find succour and help and be brought out of all dangers for his own mouth hath spoken it which is to me much more by much than ten thousand thousand witnesses 76. Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee keep me so close unto thee as I may alwaies touch thee feel thee hear thee so as I may know thee by thy name that is by thy doings by thy gratious most gratious dealings by thy wonderful by thy most wonderful gratious actings in my Soul and heart and mind and will and affections that it may be all thine and only thine that thou maist not only O God be in all my thoughts alwaies but alwaies all my thoughts desires love liking and longing 77. Fill me O Lord fill me with love to thy Laws that I may delight in them yea make the keeping of them my whole and chief delight 78. Fill me O God with thine own goodnesse that I may be good with thine own Justice that I may be just with thine own righteousnesse that I may be righteous with thine own mercy that I may be merciful with thine own truth that I may be truely true with thine own Love that I may be lovely loving thee in truth with thine own fear to fear thee with thine own Faith to believe in thee and to lay fast hold upon thee with thine own beauty O Lord to make me comly and beautiful with thine own gloriousnesse to make me glorious with thine own transcendent shining faithfulnesse that I may be faithful unto thy holy Laws all my whole life 79. Thou hast O God thou hast for which I shall neve cease to laud and praise thee promised to keep me by thine own power through Faith unto salvation therefore I will not be afraid nor fear any power no nor all powers what ever whether of sin men or Devils for I know that they are all weak and that thou art strong they are the conquered thou O Lord thou art the Conquerour they are all subdued and thou hast O Lord subdued them they are brought under and thou rulest over them they are thy foot-stool and thou tramplest upon them all their all to thee O great God is nothing even nothing at all all the Nations of the Earth are as the drop of a bucket and as the dust of the ballance in thy sight with the breath of thy nostrils thou art able to consume them and turn them to their first substance dust therefore O Lord my Lord I will depend and rely on thee that thou wilt do for thy servant this good that is so great even to make preserve and keep me faithful unto the death and then O Lord then in the greatnesse of thy eternal and everlasting goodnesse wilt give me for ever the Crown of eternal life 80. How small a thing how poor a thing and how low a thing is and are all things if God be not in them and come not with them 81. What is it to have all things out of God and besides God that is not to have him with them in them who is all good and only able to make all things good unto us 81. How poor and low are all these high things here below the riches of the World the honours of the World and the pleasures of the World to enjoy all their pleasures and their joyes how foolish is it and Ah what toys considering their ficklenesse shortnesse and uncertainty for what is green desirable and flourishing to day is to morrow perhaps withered dry loathsome and all its beauty past away for who can say of any thing or of himself it shall be to morrow as it is this day 82. The wicked shall not live out half his daies and how long soever he live they will not be half the dayes he would live though God should lengthen them as he did Hezekiahs for ten years nay for a hundred nay make his daies as Methusalems all such a time would be but a moment to eternity but to live in the Love and favour of God a man shall dye never but death shall make him live for ever and for ever 83. What a poor yea despicable poor small thing are Kingdoms Crowns and Scepters and what else as humane Learning the wisdom of men mans wisdom yea though a man could know more than Adam or Solomon knew though he could know all things that are and that perfectly too that are out of God and besides God what Ah what were all this learning knowledg or wisdom but folly meer foolishnesse in comparison of the knowledg of the Spirit Spiritual knowledg to know in Spirit and in Truth Jesus Christ and him crucified to be our Christ and our Jesus Paul accounted all other wisdom folly to this and so blessed be our God do I he desired to know no other thing but only this one thing no more do not I Let all other knowledg in me perish so this augment and
continue I shall not I am sure grieve be sad repine nor sorrowful for its losse come when it will come and Ah that it were come if God so would 84. Thy Love O God O God thy Love thy Love is the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven there can be nothing more lovely or desirable either there or here Let me O Lord I beseech thee never leave sighing after it longing for it nor desiring to enjoy it until I do enjoy it with thy self in thy self by possessing thy blessed most blessed self O sweet Jesus who art all blessings and all blessednesse 85. One look of Love from Christ will make a man willingly and cheerfully to cast aside to cast away all things that hinder his loving of him though never so lovely or lawful near or dear unto him for his Love will constrain only to love him again 86. But how then Ah how then doth and will that Soul love him that seeth and knoweth alwaies that he is beloved by him he is fed with his Love yea continually feasted with his Love he is cloathed with his Love all his garments are Love his treasure is his Love his honour is his Love and his Love is all his pleasure and his delight he sees his Love in all things that he sees that he enjoys he is continually with him and this his sweet amiable and blessed presence of Love his most loving presence he cannot be without when he hath him not thus nigh him he seems to want all things and when he hath him thus he hath all things and wants nothing 87. Such a Soul rowleth dependeth and alwaies rejoyceth his heart is only made glad by his delightful approaches and indwellings so as he esteemeth no life like to this life of living in him to him and for him and when Ah when all other Subjects and Objects how loving or lawful soever at other times are outed of his mind memory heart and affections how glad is he how doth he rejoyce and leap and skip and sing for joy that he is with him alone that he enjoyeth him only that nothing hinders nor molests their sweet intercourse their sweet imbraces their mutual Delight Joy and Love 88. Love cannot endure to be molested when it hath what it would have there is none so rich so happy so honourable as he that is thus loved by God and lives alwayes in his love and is by him from his love made to walk worthy of his love for such is Gods love that he accepteth the willing will that is in us for the working deed when that it is upright true real and sincere 89. On Christ the King of love the soveraign tye and chaine of love thy love is so lovely so shining so transpiercing so bright so burning so Conquering so consuming that all other loves are consum'd at the very approach of thy love at thy comeing they flye away they are not heeded minded remembred nor thought on any more nay to forget them all what ever they be bringeth joy even such joy as is unspeakable for then the soul and body and all the facultyes and members thereof are filled with thee and thy joyes which are such as no tongue can tell nor no heart conceive thou dost so much excel O Lord thou dost so much excel as thus to enjoy thee Oh thou our Soveraigne best and superiour good the soul answereth Ah let it thus be ever with me let me be ever thus with thee O Christ with thee with thee let me Ah let me never goe from thee be absent from thee for there is nothing in Heaven that I desire like unto thee or in all the earth in Comparison of thee make me but as one of thy hired Servants that I may alwayes hear thee see thee and abide in thy blessed most blessed presence for in thy presence is always all joy unspeakable joy yea fulnesse of all joy that is unspeakable and from thy right hand flowes continually all pleasures for evermore 90. Thus is the soul wrapt up in Christ that enjoyes him he asks he seeks esteems prises nor desires no other joyes no other Heaven no other happinesse no other blessednesse then thus alwayes to enjoy him he is at rest at ease he hath all that he would have that he can ask or crave yea much above all that ever he did ask or think so much is Christ above all things and more then all things to them and to all them in whom he liveth in love and loveth to live and the soul breatheth out for more of his love that it may love him more and more 91. Look O man into this Glass and thou shalt plainly see thy inner man the heart of thy soul or the soul of thy heart whether it be or not a heart according to Gods heart or a heart according to thine own heart and the Devils thou shalt plainly see whether thou art Carnal or Spiritual dead in sin or alive by grace a faithful Servant of Jesus Christ or a slave to thine own vile base lusts and affections of sin and Satan whether thou art a Member of Christs Mystical body betrothed unto him by grace or still a Member of Satans vile body made one with him by sin whether or no thou hast the divine nature in thee or still remainest in thine own fleshly sinful wretched nature and this thou mayest easily see and know by examining of thine affections what thou lovest most prizest choosest delightest in thinkest on and esteemest most what is most the end of thy aime and the aime of thy end after what thou most runnest pantest breathest gapest hungrest and thirstest after what is most in thy thoughts yea what thou makest thy thoughts most what are thy inward longings if thou choosest all his wayes freely and universally the hard and rough to the flesh as well as the easie pleasant and delightful and that with pleasure and delight and rejoycest to walk in them and to make them and to make them thy delight if his yoke be to thee easie and his burthen light if it be thy meat and drink to do all his whole and holy will on earth as it is done in Heaven if it be the Heaven that thou desirest on this side Heaven thy earthly Heaven thy Heaven on earth to do his whole and holy will on earth as it is done in Heaven Consider 92. Art thou born again not in the flesh but in the spirit that is transformed changed and made a new Creature throughout in spirit soul and body in thought word and deed are all old things put away wholly and totally cheerfully and willingly with consent delight applause joy rejoycing and thanksgiving and are all things become new hast thou a new mind new heart new desires new endeavours new will and affections at all times in all places companyes and things throughly seriously circumspectly faithfully sincerely ardently continually and universally that is prevailingly against all sinful fleshly desires
lusts and affections cost thou find all evil inclinations mortified have they all received a deadly wound do they all stink in thy Nostrils as they do in Gods and are they all loathsome unto thee as they are unto him and detested by thee with thy whole heart as by God that is in truth and sincerity of heart and as well and as much secret airy vaine foolish thoughts that disturb thy peace and thy Communion with God as open sins so that Gods nature divine Image and resemblance is most of all dear pretious and delightful unto thee and thou labourest with tooth and naile to preserve it with a continual heedful watchful careful care so that to do good is habitual in thee yea as it were natural it is all thy delight joy rejoycing end and ayme dost thou hartily hare all the former evil that was in thy heart loathing detesting and abhorring the sins of thy life heretofore thy heretofore sins are all their sweets become to thy tast bitter as gall and wormwood are all their pleasures altogether unsavory unpleasant and so loathsome as thy very heart riseth aganist them and loatheth the very thoughts of them do they appear unto thee all both the great and the small in their own black colours filthy and ugly hue is there no one lull'd in thy bosome hugg'd in thine arms imbraced in thine heart pleasant in thine eye sweet to thy tast or winkt or connived at as a small one or but as one as a dear one even near and dear as a right eye or a right hand but are they all both great and small known or unknown secret as well as open like unto thee exceeding yea above measure loathsome and sinful dost thou watch against them alwayes and not suffer any one when he peeps in to come in dost thou flye from them all as thou would'st do from the Devil from Hell and from the greatest of Gods Judgments and Eternal wrath are they to thee as a Hell yea as the worst of Hell in Hell dost thou feel the burthen of but one sin though not committed altogether willingly or with delight to be heavier then the whole earth and had'st rather have all the Rocks and Mountains in the whole world to fall on thee to lye upon thee then one willing sin committed to lye upon thee and is sin thus hated loathed detested and abhorred by thee because it is sin because it is a breach of Gods holy Laws and divine Commandments which are altogether all holy just and good because they disturb thy peace and thy communion with God and are contrary to thy nature in truth as to Gods nature and because they make thee to lose thine image and likeness of God and Christ and converse with the Spirit of grace who is thy sole and souls comfort and comforter and for that they make thee vile in Gods eyes and disobedient unto him for whom thou art and wert created and for whom and unto whom thou desirest to live to love to fear to honour and to obey for ever and for ever 93. Art thou conformable to Christ thy head thy husband thy Lord and thy King Doth he wholly reign and rule in thy heart with consent applause delight joy and rejoycing and in and over all the faculties of thy soul and members of thy body Art thou holy as he is holy pure as he is pure and perfect as he is perfect that is sincere in truth truly sincere in all thy actions and affections Art thou within as thou seemest to be without and dost thou labour much more to be approved applauded esteemed and honoured by God and in his sight than by men and in their sight Dost thou stick only to him cleave to him and hold him fast with true faithful sincere ardent continual and loving embraces and choosest him only for thy choice for thy chief Superiour best and soveraign good for thy heaven for thy happiness and for thy felicity peace rest and blessedness Is there nothing in heaven so dear and pretious unto thee as is thy God thy Christ nor in all the earth in comparison of him Dost thou much more love heaven for God than God for heaven 94. Is Jesus Christ become to thee so great gain as for his sake thou carest not what loss thou dost fustain Temporal or Spiritual so that thou maiest live the life of the righteous to his praise honour and glory Thou carest not what be thy condition nor where thy place of abode be nor with whom nor what be thy life nor what thy death be though poor hunger-starved full of scabs botches and sores from the crown of the head to the sole of the foot like unto Job or Lazarus so as there be no whole place in thee and though thou shouldst be as they were defamed vilified condemned cast out scoffed at mocked lie in the dust on a dunghill be fed with the dogs yea refused what is given them even the very Crums that fall under other mens Tables yea though thou shouldst be banished imprisoned persecuted scourged whipped tormented rackt torn by wild horses consumed by fire or drown'd in the depth of the sea 95. Canst thou choose any of all these yea all these and all other afflictions whatsoever willingly chearfully and joyfully for Christs sake and the Gospels rather than deny thy faith thy hope thy love rather than commit any sin rather than do the least evil with consent approbation liking or choice Is Christ better to thee than all things Canst thou truly cordially and sincerely say that thou hast nothing so dear and near to thee as Christs Honour Crown and Glory is And whatever be thy Portion here below of these high low things thou canst willingly with all thy heart and will go from them all or be content that all things be taken from thee Houses Lands Goods Kindred Friends Father Mother Wife Children and what else desiring much rather by much to hold fast thine integrity with the loss of all these then hold fast these and lose thy love thy light thy life which is thy Jusus 96. Wouldst thou mnch rather choose affliction any affliction yea all afflictions Temporal and Spiritual on body and soul as the children of God rather than commit the pleasures of sin for a season rather than in the least displease thy Christ thy Jesus thy God thy good thy Saviour and thy Redeemer for a moment much rather by much suffer the afflictions due to sin then sin and suffer no affliction for surely a Saints greatest affliction is sin sin is the very worst of hell to him that makes God his best heaven the heaven of heaven in heaven 97. Dost thou feel thy heart heartily to long for the knowledge of God and all his waies to love fear serve honour and obey him And dost thou find that all that thou dost is nothing to what thou wouldst and desirest and longest to do Thy very best is too too bad thy
in his eyes who can behold no falsity no evil 25. Truth is that mantle to cover our many infirmityes and to make us that with bouldness we may approach that glorious Sun and not be burnt that glorious day and pertake of its glory that will cloud and eclipse the errours that are yet in us and make us to feel and to know that we are bound up in this blessed mantle with his hand that will take care over us and for us that no evil any more hurt us 26. Ah God the God of truth and my God let this truth of thine never depart from me nor I from it let me shine in it more and more that I may be resplendent and glorious alwayes shining in thy sight that thou mayest delight to look upon me to love me and to honour me making me thy delight in and through the Son of thy love and the Saviour and Redeemer of my soul Jesus Christ the Righteous let my heart be alwayes a heart of truth a true heart serving thee unfainedly and doing alwayes all that I do in truth from love 27. When God is present there is present all good for all good is in God and from him proceedeth nothing but good he being the best the chief and the only good 28. Accordinglie as we enjoy God our joyes abound increase or decrease 29. When we possess him whatever other things we possossess we possess them noâ— whatever else we hear we hear not whatever else we see we see not whatever else we be we are as if we were not he being the souls all even all that it wills would loves or desires the soul is so glued to him that it cannot be taken off by any thing that is either in heaven above or on earth below 30. Who can ah who can recount express tell or set forth the gracious magnificent transcendent bountiful bountifulness of our God in Jesus Christ its height is too high its breadth is too broad its length is too long and its depth is too deep As it is only his own Spirit that can tell what is in his mind for our good so it is only they they only that possess his Spirit that can comprehend in some measure the sweet Sweets that he gives that he powers and showers down into the hearts of his beloved ones 31. The joyes of heaven are far above Unto all those that truly love Than all else be that we do know That we taste that we feel that we see 32. Go on go on O God go on To give me thy beloved Son Let him be mine let me be his For he 's my joy my peace and bliss 33. Let me in him and he in me Be alwaies seen to live and be Then when this all shall pass away My soul with him shall ever stay 34. It is unto thee O Christ that I come to have of thy self thy self 35. Let the world and devil use all their skill I am sure my God will be with me still 36. I am sure that God will sit and prepare me for all trials and afflictions whatsover either before or in the trial of affliction 37. Ah Lord I beseech thee give me this grace that I may desire grace pray for grace and prize grace here on earth as I do and shall do glory hereafter in heaven for I know that he that hath not grace here shall not have glory hereafter and the more grace here the more glory hereafter 38. If then I live the life of grace here I am as sure I shall live the life of glory hereafter 39. Me thinks it is much too low a thing for a Christian to desire any thing either here or hereafter for himself alone If I desire any thing here methinks it is chiefly for other most of all for others to refresh and comfort them I desire to have that I may have to give as for my self any condition I praise God would now fully please me would now fully content me yea I am fully perswaded that any bitter yea all bitters would be to me sweet in povertie I should find riches in banishment libertie in dishonour honour in contempt applause in being despised rejoyce and though I had nothing yet me thinks I should enjoy all things 40. My God knows how much I desire heaven but more for his sake then for my own sake he knoweth that knoweth all the secrets of my heart that with my heart and soul I love him more much by much then my self I am so unlovely to my self that I cannot that I dare not love my self but in subordination to him and for him that I may praise him that I may prize him that I may fear him that I may love him ah that I may love him obey him and adore him 41. To love God I am unfit I am unworthy because I cannot ah because I cannot love him as I would as I should Indeed if thus it were possible for me to love him ah how would I delight even in my own love and love my self if that I had such a heart according to his heart to love him only with my whole heart even with a holy heart 42. But I find my heart so dull so dead so cold so benumm'd so Icy and frozen that there is not that heat left within me of love as I would as I desire and as I should have for my God for my good for my heaven for my bliss for my rest for my peace and for my only joy all which is my God 43. Ah my Love thou art altogether unlovely because thou dost not and because thou canst not love as thou shouldst what thou shouldst love and because thou lovest so much too much what thou shouldst not love thy self thy unlovely loveless self 44. Ah Lord my Lord it is thee it is thee that my soul with all my heart would love and would if it could love none else love none besides in comparison of thee and thou knowst O Lord my God I desire sincerely and would be filled with this grace of Love but for thee alone alone for thee for thee my God my God who art to me onlie lovelie let I beseech thee all other love that is disordinate decrease that loving these less I may love thee more love thee so as thou requirest and deservest that is above all things in heaven above or on earth below 45. I know O Lord that thou art with me of a truth because thy truth is with me that is in me of a very truth 46. Love from God fills our hearts with sincere and true love for God or Gods love to us fills us with love for him his love sweetly constraineth us 47. Ah how light how light is that heart that is emptied of all sin being unburdened of that intolerable burden for if a wounded heart cannot be born ah then when such a heart is made whole it must needs bring ease refreshing comfort and unspeakable joy 48.
prize and praise thee that I am content with thy will that is yet to live in this Bacca in this Wilderness and in this Valley of tears as long as thou wilt yea I am so content that I pray heartily with my whole heart Let thy will be done on me wholly as thou wilt and not as I I will or would I desire to be only only to be what thou wilt have me to be thine O Lord thine and not my will be done untill thy kingdom come Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it Amen Amen 80. To have all things and not to have God sure is to have nothing sure to possess all things and not to possess God is to possess nothing all things besides God is vanity foolishness nothingness will fly from us and leave us for ever even then and when we have most need of help succour and defence but God will leave us never If we be his he will surely stand by us defend us assist us and give us all that we shall stand in need of yea much above what we can ask or think 81. The very least mercy or blessing either on body or soul which I have received from God deserves much more praise by much than I am able to give unto God though I should continually praise him and live continually to his praise for what am I poor despicable I that I should receive any thing from the hand of God! But ah how much less then from the heart of God in love 82. I know O Lord God that thou hast regard to my feebleness to make me strong to my poverty despicable povertie to make me rich for ever to my nakedness to cover me with thy most glorious robes to my emptiness to fill me with thy blessed most blessed self to my uncleanness and filthiness to wash me white and to make me clean to my uncomliness to make me comelie to my ugliness to make me lovelie to my wretchedness and miserie to make me honourable and blessed and to my nothingness to give me all things for ever and for ever So be it Lord so be it 83. Who can ah who can measure the earth fathom the sea and count the stars in heaven and yet how much more unable and hard is it to measure to comprehend and understand the height the depth the length and the breadth of the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. 84. His goodness is as his greatness incomprehensiblie great and his greatness is as his goodness incomprehensiblie good 85. Thy presence O God thy presence makes all things that are bitter sweet and thy absence makes all sweet things bitter 86. O God ' thou givest such gifts to men that they can see even here in the flesh by the eye of faith that which thou hast prepared for them in heaven that Christ and all his graces and righteousness is theirs that heaven and eternal life and glory is theirs for ever and for ever that their sins are all pardoned and done away as if they had never been they see all that is to come as if it were alreadie come unto them they have alreadie as it were what they shall have hereafter even all those joyes riches and pleasures that are in God and therefore they rejoyce even here with unspeakable joy 87. Faith causeth us to read in that Book that is sealed up our names written there and our sins blotted out Faith carries us often up into heaven even whilst we are here on earth thus Faith can and thus Faith doth do all things 88. Heaven is heaven O God because thou raâ—â—nest there and hell is hell because thou raignest not there heaven is all good because that thou O God that art all good dwellest there and givest out continually of thy goodness to make them all good and like thy self that are there hell is all evil because that thou O God that art all good art not there for hell would not be hell if thou wert ther O God in love it is thy presence that maketh heaven heaven and it is thy absence that hell is hell Heaven is filled with thy smiles therefore it is heaven hell is filled with thy frowns and therefore ah therefore it is hell Heaven is filled with thy love and therefore it is lovely hell is filled with thy hatred and therefore it is hateful Heaven is free of and from all sin and therefore it is heaven hell is full of all sin and therefore ah therefore it is hell Heaven possesseth O God the light that glorious light of thy most glorious countenance and therefore it is such a most glorious light as cannot be comprehended with darkness but hell is altogether dispossess'd of thee O God who art this light of heaven and therefore it is all darkness even black thick darkness Heaven hath alwaies thee O God who art not only holy but holiness who art not only wise but wisdom it self who art not only powerful but power it self who hast not only all things but art all things and therefore heaven is such a heaven as it is but hell hath thee not wherefore it is all sinful wretched and miserable heaven is heaven in heaven yea such a blessed heaven as it is because thou hast O God blessed it and hell is cursed yea cursed as it is because thou hast cursed it from thine eternal ever blessed presence They are blessed and shall be ever blessed that are in heaven because they shall ever live with thee and possess thee O God the God and giver of all blessedness and they are cursed and shall be ever cursed that are in hest because they live not in thee possess thee not and are not possessed by thee 89. Ah Lord God that art this heavenly heaven this light this glory this most transcendent incomprehensible glorious light this blessedness this full whole entire compleat and perfect blessedness of all the blessed in glory this holiness this love this most lovely holiness Give me I most humbly beseech thee and unto all thine such a measure of thine infinite grace that we may even here sink into thee and be swallowed up by thee receiving continually grace for grace and be alwaies altogether fully filled with thy blessed fulness and be for ever separated and divorced from and out of all things that is not of thee that we may henceforth lead such holy lives in all our doings dealings conversations so that after this life ended we may with thee and in thee O God our only good live that everlasting life of peace rest joy solace and full contentment that shall never ah that shall never know end So be it O Lord God Almighty so be it Amen and Amen 90. Ah Lord give me this grace to hate sin all sin though there were no punishment due unto it and sincerelie to love vertue and grace though there were no reward for it hate the one because it is hateful in it self and
what ever my failings or my fallings be to recover me and comfort me as thou did'st Peter for I know and firmly through grace believe that what thou wert thou art and wilt be ever unto me a sin pardoning God a God pardoning all my sins whatsoever And seeing O God my God that thou art such a God as thou art give me grace that whatever I do I may do it to thy Glory for thy Glory and never more Ah never more willingly wittingly or knowingly sin against thee in thought word or deed but freely and cheerfully depart henceforth from all iniquity with my whole heart and Soul even from all both the great and the small that I may be ever thine and all thine from this time forth and for ever more Amen 111. Thus the Lord brings good out of evil Sweet out of bitter and gives us as at this time unto my poor Soul new tokens pledges and assurances of his old Love 112. Ah Lord let this thy Love and kindnesse even thy most loving and kind Love be alwaies had in remembrance of me and cause me to cling to thee to cleave to thee to hold thee fast and never to let thee go and let me alwaies say the Lord be praised the Lord be praised alwaies 113. Ah Lord seeing I have so deeply and so sweetly drank of and at this thy wel of consolation let it be in me ever a well of living water that may never grow dry that I may alwaies suck at this breast to refresh my Soul when I am a thirst 114. I sincerely confesse and professe were I to spend all my daies to praise thee that the time would be too too short much by much to shew forth thy loving kindnesse and thy Love wherewith thou hast loved me And therefore my soul praiseth thee and rejoyceth for that there shall be no end of that time which thou hast O God appointed wherein I shall speak of and sing thy praises it shall be World without end that I shall praise thee O God the God of my Salvation and my God 115. O God let this mercy be alwaies as fire to heat me as food to feed me as drink to refresh me as wine to comfor me as cloaths to cloth me as riches of all sorts to inrich me let it be to me alwaies all things Let it not lose its worth nor fast by lying but let it be alwaies as the honey-comb dropping honey to revive and comfort and strengthen me and that I never forget what a God thou art and that thou changest not thou art still the same God blessed for ever and for ever 116. Ah Lord let me never forget these thy mercies but through grace and the presence of thy Holy Spirit walk worthy of them unto all eternity through the worthinesse merits and obedience of Jesus Christ thy only Son and my alone Saviour and Redeemers sake Amen 117. Many times God is so good and gratious so merciful and loving unto us that then even then when we fear we shall see his frowns that he will frown on us when we come before him He to our great astonishment and admiration smiles on us When we fear that he will strike us with the rod of his anger he imbraceth and kisseth us with the kisses of exceeding transcendent Love when we fear he will be absent he is then many times most sweetly present surpassing much by much all sweets conceivable as he was at this time to me which Ah that I could alwaies bear in mind that I might henceforth and forever live as I should live to his honour and for his glory only 118. Thus is our God good that he bringeth us good when we fear evil and sometimes sheweth us that his goodnesse is so great towards us for us that he mindeth not our evil 119. Surely when we mind it much and afflict our selves and are heartily ashamed and confounded by reason of our weaknesses failings and imperfections he sheweth that he will not punish us when we do as it were thus freely and severely punish our selves he knoweth of what we are made and that we are but dust and yet he delighteth that we love him fear him prise him praise him and believe him and make him and his Love all our delight and joy 220. Ah Lord suffer me never more to requite this thy exceeding great kindnesse with the least or any unkindnesse but that I may henceforth walk before thee circumspectly and wisely with a heedful watchful careful care doing alwaies thy will with my whole heart mind and will 121. When a Soul sees himself free from the Love liking or allowing of any sin it see its self in God and how it is made partaker of the Divine Nature that it is a little spark or beam of that glorious Light which is pure trasparent bright and clear and having no mixture nor no cloud for sin only brings darknesse in the Soul sin only is the cloud which eclypses the Light of this glorious Sun sin only darkens and weakens our sight and our knowledge and hinders us that we do not nor cannot see our selves as we are in God but when that sin is done away totally that is all Love liking and allowance then are the eies of our understanding opened and all darknesse is swallowed up done away and wholy and totally consumed and we are swallowed up in to this Divine Light by which we are made to see and know our selves as we are in God a part as it were of this Light even this Light it self in some measure it is so in us and we are so in it we see our selves clear and free from all fears and cares being delivered from them and having obtained the fulnesse of knowledge desired or desirable that is that we are partakers of him that is all purity all light all wisdom all serenity peace contentednesse and rest all passions ceasing of desiring more for all the desires are satisfied having this knowledge to see our selves and know our selves to be with him and in him which to know to behold is to partake of and this is Eternal Life in us 122. But when the mind of man I mean only his thoughts is on any sinne though never so smal or never so little if in the least measure consented unto it robs him at that time of all his happinesse his sight is darkned his eies are so dim that he cannot look up sin is so heavy so devilish that it presseth the Soul downward to Hell to the Devil which plainly shews its Center whence it is and what it is for the time that it is thus liked or loved or but connived at it metamorphoses the Soul and makes it instead of being God-like Spiritual Knowledge Light Purity Serenity Peace Rest Comfort Joy and full contentednesse to be in some measure Devil-like darknesse fear shame horror confusion condemnation accusation hanging yea falling alwaies downward and not able in the least measure to
look upward or to hope or to think or to believe this is the nature of sin and of the man that is in sin to be heavy dull faint coward swallowing down and giving it self up unto all fears horribly ashamed and confounded being darknesse even black thick darknesse darknesse it self and miserable ignorance which I take to be the greatest and sorest evil of all to be deprived of this heavenly flower of this heavens beauty of knowledge to see and know our blessed estates of being in God and Gods being in us which is perfect full whole and entire blessednesse therefore the contrary ignorance black thick ignorance must needs be the contrary the puddle the filth and excrement of Hell in it self as it were entire full whole compleat and perfect cursednesse and misery 123. Ah Lord God how great how transcendent magnificent wonderfully exceeding and unspeakably great is thy bountiful goodnesse in giving and forgiving what thou givest and forgivest especially unto me despicable poor vile me the first chiefest and greatest of all sinners and the very worst of the worst of all men how Ah how my Soul doth desire unfaignedly at this time to prize and praise thee I know that thou knowest And Ah that I could tell and shew forth how and what thou hast at this very time done for me in opening mine eies to see and know and comprehend in some measure and understand what it is to be in thee to partake of thee and to be swallowed up into thee in a little though very little dark measure to know thee but clearly to see feel and know that I am comprehended of thee that is that thou art mine and that I am thine Ah Lord suffer not I beseech thee that the ignorance which I am sure that sin brings with it take away from me this glorious portion of knowledg to know and feel and see my self in thee and that thou art and all thine mine Ah Lord let this light of thine which is thy self alwaies shine in me that by it I may be kept from the black thick darknesse of sin ignorance and errour and that I may not hence forth walk in those waies which lead unto such deep destruction as to eclypse weaken darken much lesse put out or destroy this glorious beam of thy most glorious light which through thy free most free grace and mercy in Jesus Christ thou hast at this time caused so brightly clearly transparently and fully to shine upon me Ah Lord let this glorious Light of thine alwaies continue in me that I may alwaies see my self in thee and thee in me and know thee to be mine and that I am thine that thereby I may be inabled to tell of and to set forth thy praises and that thou art such a God as thou art and to be desired and sought after only being only the desirable and the desired And grant that the remembrance of this thy Love and gratious dealing with me at this time may never be forgotten by me not slip out of my mind but that I may alwaies have it in remembrance that it may be as a strong Tower and bulwark against all and every temptation that shall at any time fall upon me and that hereby I may be made more and more able to resist every lust and sin whether in thought word or deed to hate it and flye from it as the greatest of all evils as the fire of Hell and the worm of Conscience esteeming it the very worst of the worst of the Devil Let it I most humbly beseeth thee O our Father in Jesus Christ strengthen and augment my resolution and hatred against all and every sin as well against the least of all as the very greatest of all that I may more and more see all sin to be exceeding sinful the bane ruine destruction and destroyer of all good blessednesse and happinesse Ah Lord hear me and answer me in Jesus Christ and continue thus gratiously to go along with me to be alwaies by me and to watch over me that no evil at any time either in thought word or deed overtake me or come nigh me to hurt me to the end I may walk before thee with a perfect and upright heart doing alwaies all that is right in thy sight that thou maiest O Lord more and more delight in me the work of thy hand and in some measure I hope trust and believe in Jesus Christ the joy of thy heart and that thou wilt gratiously own me for thine own and never be ashamed to be called my God for Christ my Soul doth and shall alwaies blesse thee and to him with thine own most glorious Majesty and Holy Spirit of Grace the Sanctifier and Comforrer be alwaies and eternally given Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving for ever and for ever Amen 124. God he waiteth to be gratious to bring deliverance to his children and servants as they wait for the grace of deliverance 125. Thus is our Good good gratious and merciful Sympathizing with us in our afflictions as well as in our comforts 126. Thus is our God a most gratious God The God of all grace and Father of all mercies alwaies doing good never weary repenting or standing still 127. His fountain of Love favour grace and mercy is not only alwaies open for us but alwaies running over flowing out to run into us he is abundant in loving kindnesse yea his delight is to be alwaies doing good he would that we would alwaies ask that he might alwaies give 128. It is not possible but impossible to be weary speaking unto God when that we have his Spirit or to be weary hearing of him speak to us by the same Spirit 129. His words are as the droppings of honey the sweet of all sweets sweeter much by much than the honey or the honey comb 130. The Soul of a right Christian of a true Believer doth not nor cannot desire more favour than to be admitted to speak freely unto God being fitted by him and taught by his Spirit what to speak for then he is sure to hear him to speak to him again an answer of peace 131. If it be so delightful a thing to us here in the flesh whilst we are as it were so far from him or at least seeing him far off so darkly his back parts only Ah how comforting how solacing how transforming to see his transcendent glorious face as he is to be seen and to hear his sweet and sacred voyce audably that we are his and that he is ours And when he shall have cloathed us with his own liknesse and have made us in some small measure glorious as he is glorious for we shall then shine in the glory of our head Christ Jesus putting on his glory 132. Ah Lord God be good unto me and grant that through thine infinite fulness and goodnesse I may fill others that are empty with these thine overslowings wherewith thou hast filled
me that I may feed them with this bread and with those dainties wherewith thou hast been pleased so gratiously and plentifully to feed me and that I may by communication inrich them with this same impuisable treasure where with thou hast now and heretofore inriched my Soul 133. Let me have nothing Ah Lord let me have nothing for my self alone but let me be alwaies ready and willing to give unto others whatsoever it be that thou shalt give to me to carry to them forthwith whatever thou thy self shalt bring me to make them partakers of all whatsoever thou shalt make me at any time yea the best of times partaker of that thou givest it unto me when alone yet grant O God that I may esteem it as a common gift that is to make it common by giving it freely liberally and cheerfully not repugningly repiningly or repentingly as thine O Lord as thine that we may altogether go hand in hand speaking thy praises and telling of all what ever thou doest for our Souls 134. What ever God gives his clildren what condition soever he brings them into it is intended by him for their advantage and good therefore they should alwaies rejoyce for all things for hight degree and low degree for health and sicknesse for applause and for contempt and scorn not to do as many do endeavour to turn what God intends for their comforts into sorrowing cares and heavinesse and say that they are not fit for comforts and joyes as if God knew not what were fit or fittest for them How is it to be pitied and lamented and God knows how I pity them and lament for them that thus turn his good into evil even to themselves and their very Souls that is they labour with might and main what in them lies to turn his comforts into discomforts his peace into wart his smiles into frowns his joyes into sorrowing to change his intendments for their good as much as in them lieth unto their own hurt should we not be glad when we see and plainly perceive that he intends to glad us and rejoyce when that he intends to fill our cup full of joy shall we say Ah God forbid shew me not Heaven yet give me not a foretast or a foresight of it yet leave me thus alone and come not O God so nigh me with thy comforts for thy smiles and thy most lovely and gratious presence overcome me I would rather thy absence and thy frowns for a little space What shall we be sorry for that God is so good unto us and say that he doth us too much good how dare any man choose any condition for himself how dare any man presume to think that he knoweth what condition is best for him and be so bold as to say that a contrary condition to that which God gives him and sends him would be better for him as if God knew not when best to fill us with joyes and when with sorrows and when to take the one and the other from us If he sends me alwaies joyes I will alwaies rejoyce and if he fill me alwaies with sighing and sorrows I am sure he will fit me for that condition also and also in it to make me to rejoyce Let the Lord do unto me alwaies what seemeth him good what he will not what I will his will not mine be done now henceforth and for ever more Amen 135. Deal with me O God the God of my Salvation as thou pleasest let the Issue of all things be as thou wilt only give me grace in all things to walk uprightly before thee 136. If we have O God so much cause to serve thee for what we have already received how much more for that O Lord which thou hast promised and which we know thou wilt surely give us 137. Ah Lord let me cling to thee as a sucking Child doth to the breast for 't is from thee that I can only suck the milk of consolation nourishment strength and comfort 138. T is thee in us and us O Lord in thee That doth from all sin ever make us free 139. O Lord the Heaven of Heaven doth not contain thee only but thou livest also in the lowest hearts of thy Children as well as in the highest Heavens with thy Servants Abraham Isaae and Jacob. 140. O Lord thou knowest that I am content and willing too to loose much as to my self that I may be able to give a little unto others 141. I would rather write a little for others sakes then hear much for my own sake only 142. This losse I have often had and yet I desire rather much by much to be alwayes a looser then a gayner being more others for the most part then mine own for in some measure and for which I desire Eternally to praise thy name I have what I would have and I am sure I shall never loose it 143. Ah how glad am I when I can glad others thou O Lord knowest the great joyes I have when thou art pleased to use me as a means to make others to rejoyce 144. When O Lord thou fillest me and then emptiest me as it were into others I account it not emptying but overflowing 145. So that by my loss others might but gaine I care not what loss soever I sustaine 146. When O Lord thou speakest to the heart thou preparest that is makest the heart fit to speak fitly and preparedly to thee 147. Thy tongue even thine O Lord maketh our hearts and our hands as the pen of a ready writer alwayes ready to speak or to write 148. Thy graces O Lord many times flow into our souls as the full Sea with a high tide loftily and sweetly 149. But Ah how is the soul beneap'd and muddy having no pleasantnesse when the ride of thy presence is gone out 150. Return O Lord return return unto me to fill me that I may at least be as often filled with thine overflowings as emptyed of them by mine own out-goings 151. Ah that I had thee so O Lord as I might alwayes have thee possess thee so as I might alwayes joy in these sweet pleasant and delightful enjoyments of thy blessed most blessed presence which only comforts and contents me 152. Thy presence O God thy presence thy presence is much more esteemed by me by much then life and sweeter ten thousand times ten thousand then the Hony-Comb of any pleasure more desireable then the finest Gold or most pretious Pearls and to be prefer'd above many Rivers of Wine and Oyle 153. Heap upon me O Lord I beseech hee heaps upon heaps of these thy favours and cause these thine overflowings to cover the banks of my barrennesse and filthynesse that I may be comely and pleasant in thy sight and esteem 154. Fill me O Lord I beseech thee so full as that I never grow empty againe of thy grace and goodnesse of obedience and love 155. Warm me so that I never grow cold againe
but let this heat of the fire of thy love burn and consume all the cold Winter frost of the weeds and roots of sin and Corruption that my soul may be as a pleasant garden for thee ' O Lord my King and my God to take pleasure in 156. Thou hast O God thou hast thou hast in a very great measure Turn'd the Mountains of my sins into a Valley of pleasure 157. God is my God and therefore he will be my God alwayes so whatever temptations fall on me I will not fear them for God who is my God is stronger then all and his love is above all either in Heaven above or on earth or Hell below 158. He that truly loves all good must truly hate all evil for love to good produceth alwayes in all hatred to evil for there is a contrary to every thing as light is contrary to darknesse therefore loving the one good we must and can do no other then hate the other which is the contrary evil 159. Having our eyes opened our understandings enlightned we then see sin in its colours 〈◊〉 it is in it self sinful and therefore we must hate it and we can then do no other but hate it wtch perfect which is sincere hatred not only leave al◠sin but heartily unfainedly and sincerely with our whole hearts hate all sin and loath all sin being changed and brought out of darknesse which is from sin into the marvelous light of the knowledge of the love of God we cannot being cloathed with his nature loving what he loves holinesse and Righteousnesse but hate what he hates which is all sin and wickednesse having put Christ Jesus on we must put the other off the world flesh and Devil and all their works sticking to Christ and holding him fast we must and will and can do no other still then let goe our hold to all things out of him and besides him for according as our love is to the one so our hatred will be nay is to the other they being contraryes and opposite one unto another 160. He that truly loves the wayes of God which is Righteousnesse must doth and can do no other then hate the wayes of the Devil which is sin we cannot serve two such Masters it is impossible to love two such Contraryes 161. By our true sincere and unfained hatred to the one we may see and be sure of our unfained sincere and true love to the other and if we thus love truly all good we love God truly which ought and should assure us that we are beloved of God yea that we are his beloved through Jesus Christ the truly beloved whom he doth and ever will love truly us in him for his love is not yea nay unto us but yea in Christ yea and Amen 162. He that hath thee O God hath all and therefore he that wants thee wants all though he wants nothing else at all 163. He that possesseth thee O God possesseth surely the best possession that is or can be possest 164. He that knows thee O God hath perfect knowledge for none doth or can know thee but from and by thy holy spirit of true wisdome and knowledge all knowledge and wisdome else to this is meer foolishnesse 165. When we are in thee O God we are truly free free from all evil and filled with all good for all good is in thee and comes freely from thee as the Rivers from the Sea 166. Wash me make me clean O God in and by Christ that I may be pure in thy sight even as gold well refined without any dross or mixture perfectly pure pure in perfection 167. By giving we receive that is when our hearts are drawn forth sincerely to give what God hath given us I mean of spirituals God gives us what we would have yea and much above what we did ask or could think 168. When thus we beg for others to have that we may have to give Ah how good gratious bountiful is the Lord unto us in giving of us according to our hearts desires even the very desires of our hearts 169. When thus we desire grace to impart it unto others how agreeable unto God are our desires how Ah how doth he regard us reward us 170. When thus we are beggers for others God maketh us rich with the treasures of Heaven with that true riches which will make us rich for ever which is grace here and glory hereafter 171. When thus we mind others good and welfare as our own making their case ours sympathising with them both in their good and evil in their present and future happinesse then we shew forth that we live in God and that God liveth in us for where true love is God is for love is God and God is love 172. When we feel want in our Brethrens wants and are filled with what they are filled bearing their burthens of grief and sorrow with them it shews that we are of one heart and of one mind that we are Brethren if we have thus compassion one of another 173. And when we make their joyes our joyes it shews plainly that there is one spirit in us even the spirit of the love of God which is Christ Jesus our Lord who leadeth us in his paths and teacheth us to practise what he hath commanded us and his Children we are whom we obey whether of sin unto death or of Righteousnesse unto life By their works ye shall know as God who are his 174. When thus we are unto others what we are unto our selves it sheweth plainly that we are members of Christs mystical body and that he is our head 175. When thus we agree and sympathise in one anothers honour and dishonour sorrows and joys we shew forth that we are not two but one and this oneness sheweth also that we are one in Christ that he liveth in us and that we live in him that he is ours and that we are his 176. And when Christ thus owneth us for his own we may be sure that when he cometh at his second and sudden coming in glory we shall also appear with him and be made like him glorious as he is glorious though not so glorious 177. He that thinks any thing more worth then Christ is not worthy of Christ. 178. He that would not willingly loose all things for him and for his sake shall never have him not of him partake 179. He that holds any thing dearer then Christs love shall never partake of his love 180. But he that loveth him above all things beyond all things and more then all things may surely say that he hath all things for as Christ is above all God blessed for ever and for ever so he is all in all unto all those that truly love him 181. So sure as we would that he did love us so sure it is that he doth love us and more surer much by much and so much as we would that he did
be nigh us and how do we cast our selves down before him at his feet and bewail our infirmities and weaknesses begging strength from him to support and keep us up how do we wonder and are astonisht to see the fire of his wrath kindled against the wicked and against evil doers and yet that such wicked evil doers as we are are not consumed to see fire in the bush and yet the bush not burnt 11. Thus we may plainly see that God seeth all to be good for us yea best of all which he sendeth us causing every thing to work together for our good Ah seeing then that his love mercy and goodnesse is such and so great for us let us always mightily praise him and prize him at the very highest price and give up our spirits souls and bodyes to live to him and for him and unto and for his praise honour and glory it being our glory and our honour our happiness and our bliss that he is such a God as he is To him alone therefore be given alwayes all honour and glory and praise for ever and for ever 12. Laying out is laying up laying out of earthly treasure on earth with a heavenly heart is to lay up heavenly treasure in Heaven according to Gods word and his heart 13. God giveth unto his Children of his own strength to overcome as it were himself he delighteth to be as it were overcome by them And to make us more than Conquerours 14. Ah the mercy the mercy and bounty of God and the misery of man that God being such a God as he is should notwithstanding continue to do so much for man and man nevertheless continue continually to do so much against his God I say against his God even then when he knoweth God to be his God 15. Ah Lord how is it that thou should'st take pleasure to mind us so much as thou dost although thou knowest well our evil minds and how little we mind thee and although thou tellest us by thine own spirit how that we are near and dear unto thee even alwayes in thy mind and heart to do us good for ever and for ever Ah how great is our misery to have such depraved natures and such Devil-like hearts to pay thy merciful kindnesse with such high unkindnesse and ingratitude to thee who art our only good 16. How is it O Lord that thou takest such continual care and payns as it were and art at so much cost to overcome us with thy loving kindnesse and yet we remain so brutish and senslesse stupid and unkind that we will not but refuse to be overcome 17. Ah the misery the misery of man who is never weary nor would never be weary of doing evil yea all manner of evil against his most kind and loving Lord and God who is so good to him as he is never weary nor repents of doing of him good notwithstanding his continual doing of evil or doing of all evil continually 18. A good heart giveth unto the Lord freely cheerfully willingly and rejoycingly of all that he hath and alwaies acknowledgeth and saith of thine own O Lord I will and do give thee 19. When that the Lord giveth unto such a soul Grace he giveth him Glory when he giveth him outward things he praiseth him and enlargeth his bowels of compassion unto the Saints 20. Such hearts desire mightily largnesse of heart or large hearts to give according to what they receive whether it be Spirituals or Temporals nothing is so near or dear unto them as the work of the Lord which is to do his will in all things from the very highest of Grace to the very lowest of things in Nature 21. Ah Lord God let me alwaies bear thee in mind when ever I mind that is think on any thing 22. Let me O Lord I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee do every thing that I do as knowing and remembring that thou seest and all knowest the thoughts of my heart and writest down all my words and works on thy blessed book of remembrance 23. Let me do all that I do before men as before thee O God my God knowing that thou seest it and hearest it 24. And all that I take in hand to do O God before thee Let me do it all as if all the men in the World did look on me and see it 25. Norwithstanding the greatnesse and numberless number of my sins thy goodnesse O God was so great towards me as moved thee to have compassion on me and to pour out thy endlesse and everlasting Love and kindnesse in mercy upon me 26. Also O God thou causedst my own sins to appear so great and filthy before me that I was thereby ashamed of my self and confounded before thee 27. So that seeing my self thus polluted filthy abominable and unclean yea abominably unclean I left my self willingly I hated and do hate and do hate my self truly and I imbraced through Grace thy most gratious offers of Grace Love and Mercy heartily and unfeignedly returning unto thee with my whole heart desiring entirely and sinserely an entire change from all evil to all good from my own evil waies to thy most blessed waies that are so good so sweet so beautiful so delightful that since the knowledge of them my soul hath been often delighted refreshed feasted and satisfied in them and with them 28. Ah mercy of mercies that thou wouldest O God be pleased thus in mercy to look on me when I was fit and ripe for all thy Judgments And when thou mightest justly have poured out the viols of thy wrath and fury upon me with the greatest indignation that then even then to kindle the flames of Love in my heart from the continual burnings in thine O God in thine to love fear seek adore and serve thee unfiegnedly with my whole heart Ah what mercy to this mercy 29. Continue O God that art my God and only good continue Ah continue I most humbly beseech thee to be thus merciful unto me that I turn not thy Grace into wantonnesse but in some measure labour and strive to walk worthy of these thy rich and saving mercies with which thou hast and wilt for ever inrich my poor Soul with and save it 30. As a natural Father a Father in the flesh is and must be still a Father and a child a child so me thinks it is with God our Heavenly and Spiritual Father he having once begotten us and we are born again and are become his children by the Grace of Adoption Justification and Sanctification he must be still our Father and we his children unto Eternal Salvation Though we do many times as fleshly children not alwaies do the will of their Fathers in the flesh not please them alwaies not satisfie or delight them nor give them content yet notwithstanding they are still children nor they cannot cease to be children nor their Father to be their Father even so though we do not alwaies do
what liketh God our Heavenly Father but that at times which disliketh him and displeaseth him he as a good Father sometimes punisheth us and sometimes passeth by our failings without punishment eyeing what is best for us and as a Father he never faileth us neither will he suffer us to fail of being his children Once his children and ever his his for ever and for ever 31. Ah Lord God that art so glorious here in Grace how transcendently glorious art thou in Glory If the Earth be so full of thy Glory how full is Heaven O Lord thy dwelling place where thou manifestest thy self unto the Saints and they behold thy beauty and thy glory face to face 32. If thy back parts be so beautiful to our eies here in the flesh how beautiful Ah how beautiful O Lord will thy glorious countenance be unto us in glory where we shall see thee and know thee as thou art to be known 33. Thy presence even here O Lord God when we have Communion with thee doth so delight and ravish us that we had much rather by much be a door-keeper in thy house be a servant to the meanest of all thy servants than sit on Thrones and rule among the wicked that keep not thy Laws 34. I have O Lord I confesse abused thy mercies and do therefore acknowledge that thou mayest justly refuse me all mercies 35. I have walked contrary unto thee O God and still do and therefore I confesse that thou mayest justly walk contrary unto me and give me up to do all the evil that is in my heart which is the very greatest of all thy Judgments in this life 36. We are the work of thine hand we are thine own and thou mayest justly do with us all that seemeth good unto thee to do for what is right in thy sight O Lord is just and right and good 37. When the Lord is with us for good then he hath accepted of us he is in us and we are in him one with him and he one with us we as bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh and he as bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh we are not two but one yea there is such an onenesse as we are one in some measure in all things and have the same affections for all things loving what is to be loved and hating what is to be hated there is a like purity and no mixture in our choyse of good and in our hatred and abhorrency of evil as to the truth and cincerity if it though much different in the degrees 38. Thus even thus is man made in some measure as God that is God-like Thus even thus doth he partake of the holy and Divine Nature of God Thus even thus doth God himself give of himself unto man to make man like himself That man may be satisfied as God is satisfied but differently thus God seeing all things in himself from himself and man seeing what is of God in him is of his free gift from his free Love 39. That is to have a heart according to Gods heart to be alwaies satisfied in all Gods dealings and doings 40. All that God doth is to have his own will accomplisht and done and if our will as it should be according to his will then are we well conrent in and with all that is done for nothing is done or can be done but that and only that which God will have to be done 41. The honour of all the Saints is Gods honour and their glory is to bring him glory or to glorifie him as the Saints and Angels doe in glory 42. Ah Lord God let me as the Bee make honey of the weeds as well as of the flovvers fetch good out of evil as vvell as increase and multiply good from good condemn sin vvhere ever I see it hate it most vvhere I see it most speak most against it vvhen I hear it most spoken for and let the hearing and seeing of grace in others and from others beget more grace in me and let me lay it up as the Bee doth honey in the hive for my self to feed on in the winter of temptation and affliction and that as honey it may be sweet and comfort others also 43. I am resolved O Lord not to be satisfied until I find within me that thou art well and truly satisfied with me and by my whole life and conversation 44. I am O Lord resolved through grace not to be satisfied until I find thy holy Laws so writ on my heart that my heart be according to thy heart and set and bent and resolved entirely and continually and universally in all things to keep thy Law 45. Ah Lord let me so find thee alwaies within me that I may alwaies do the things and only the things that are right in thy sight 46. Let my Love be so true O Lord for thee as I may only love thy truth that truth only in all things may be only lovely unto me 47. Let my goings out be comeings in unto me that is Let all O Lord that I do bring me good yea even my falls make me rise and stand the faster relying on thy strength O God my God who only art able to keep me both from stumbling and from falling 48. Watch O Lord watch over my heart continually that I depart not from thee but that I do the things alwaies that are in some measure according to thy heart 49. The Lord gives his graces unto those that rightly ask them as we would do water at a Fountain unto all those should come for it in a due and right manner give as well a thousand ten thousand yea a hundred times ten thousand draughts to any one that should need it as one draught alone so our God such is his fulnesse such is his goodnesse that he gives as well and as willingly all the desires of our hearts and Souls as one desire alone yea as the least desire of all if we do but ask as we should ask and for that end or those ends alone that he hath appoynted them and us to have them for to give much or little is to him all alike he cannot such a Fountain is he be emptied no nor lessened at all by whatever he gives he is still the same full of all blessednesse and goodnesse alwaies ready to distribute and give unto the necessity of the Saints never weary nor standing still yesterday to day and to morrow and for ever the same 50. Therefore to have much is to ask much ask and ye shall have that your joy may be full God doth not say or mean that we may or can be too bold that we may ask too much And to take away this scruple or doubt he promiseth that what ever we shall ask believingly in the name of Jesus Christ we shall receive if we open our mouths wide then we have his promise that he will fill them which implyes that the way
Everlasting Portion of thy grace and grant that I may be made thereby a worthy partaker of thine infinite and eternal glory in glory so be it Lord so be it 83. If any other condition were fitter for me than my present condition I know that the Lord would give it me and fit it for me and fit me for it 84. Ah Lord give me then a contented and thankful heart alwaies and in all conditions whatever seeing thou hast caused me this day to know a fresh and to be assured that thou art alwaies with me takest care for me and watchest heedfully over me and that thou wilt be ever unto me as hitherto thou hast been my support strength assistance and satisfaction 55. If God be come down into our hearts then all powers that are not of God are brought down are brought under into subjection unto his holy Laws by obedience unto his Divine Commandments for where he is present all that is not of him must absent it self Two being not agreed they cannot live together and the stronger will turn out the weaker 86. Ah Lord let me alwaies eie thee eying of me and let my eie be never off from thee for I know that thine is not nor cannot be off from me 87. Ah Lord let me seriously consider that all things that are done by thee are done for the good of all those that love thee 87. Therefore whatever is done at any time whether in Heaven or Earth let me alwaies say so Lord would I have in seeing thou that art Lord of all things and over all even God blessed for ever and for ever wilt have it so 88. Ah Lord suffer not my vile will to controul at any time thy Divine will but let thine be alwaies mine and mine according unto thine 89. Ah Lord suffer me never to go about to bring thy will to mine but alwaies and in all things labour with all the Powers of my Soul to bring mine to thine 90. And after I have askt let me be content with what ever I have knowing that thou O Lord seest and knowest my condition 91. Ah Lord swallow me up into this blessed condition that all conditions be a like unto me and that I may esteem them blessings and thee and me alike blessed not in a like degree but in truth Thou God blessed over all and I in thee blessed by thee through thy blessed goodnesse unto me 92. Ah Lord be thou with me where ever I am mine and then I am sure I shall not want any thing because O God thou that art all full nesse wilt I know and am sure of continually fill me 93. Thou art O God my good and therefore no evil can or shall come nigh me to hurt me for I know that thou alwaies watchest over me for good and that thou never slumbrest nor sleepest 94. Ah Lord thy shadow is unto me safety let me then alwaies sit under the shadow of thy wings that thy Word in me may be alwaies the food and the life of my Soul 95. Ah Lord God if thou hast made our life thus sweet unto us over all things and above all things it is because thy self being thus the life of our life we may be taught to spend it so for thee as we may ever preserve it for thee to live unto thee for ever and for ever to praise thee 96. Ah Lord I praise thee for that thou hast at this time made me so to touch thee feelingly so as to feel vertue come out from thee into me that mine eies are opened so as I see thee and know thee to be with me and in me 97. Ah Lord let this light of thine never depart from me but let me more and more be swallowed up into it that by it I may be made more and more able to comprehend it and live in it 98. Ah Lord God let these thy dawnings draw me after thee to follow thee the Lamb of Righteousnesse where ever thou goest and let me never grow weary nor faint in the way where ever thou shalt lead me or what ever thou shalt bid me to do though it be to spend and to be spent But grant that I may be alwaies thine as I know and see through thy good grace in me that thou art mine 99. Ah what a most blessed thing is it to live in the Peace of the Lord and to dye with his Peace 100. Ah Lord suffer me not to purchase the whole World if it were to be had with the committing of one sin against Conscience for what shall it profit me to gain the whole World if I lose my own Soul 101. Ah Lord how happy is the man that knoweth thee only that is is so swallowed up into thee as he knoweth none nor nothing but thee thou art O God over all and above all in him and he is only thine and none but thine 102. Ah how low how low is it to know any thing but thee O God or in comparison of thee 103. Ah Lord God let me so know thee as I may comprehend thee that I may despise all other knowledge and rest satisfied in this one thing only necessary 104. To know thee the true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent is the depth of Wisdom and all things to it in comparison of it is meer foolishnesse 105. The Angels know not more and this knowledge of theirs is but in a degree and ah how low and inferiour to that knowledg that is in thee that is O God in thee in thee 106. This knowledge is so sweet in its mani-manifestation that it drowns and consumes both men and Angels in its contemplation 107. This knowledge is so deep and sweet that all both men and Angels do thee only greet 108. Thus to know thee O God is to be in some measure like unto thee filled with all wisdome and knowledge 109. But this alone is given us all to know from thy self who knowest all things and givest unto none but what thou knowest is for thine own glory O God and their Everlasting good 110. Fill O Lord fill all the hearts of those that unfeinedly seek thee and this thy Wisdome that they may become fools to themselves and only wise in thee and for thee 111. Ah Lord God what is it to know all things from the Cedar to the Hysop if we have not our understanding enlightned to comprehend that we are comprehended of thee 112. Let me only have this honour and I will despise all other honours and dishonours yea let me be despised by all so that I may be thus honoured O God by thee by thee O God by thee 113. All things O God compared to the knowledge of thee is not nor shall not I trust be ever at all regarded or esteemed by me 114. For if I can but once attain to know thee as thou art to be known I am sure I shall have all that I can desire to know to possesse
and to whom thou hast manifested thy self Therefore the Angels those glorious knowing Creatures endeavour to pry into all thy misteries Such an endlesse and bottomlesse delight there is in them all from the greatest to the very least of all 169. This indeed is such a high and glorious Mount from which we may justly desire never to come down but to have there our abiding place A Tabernacle to dwell in for ever and for ever not only to behold the glory of our Lord but the Lord himself of all our good and our glory 170. Ah Lord God that art the wisdom of the wise the strength of the strong the honour of the honourable the power of the powerful the might of the mighty the riches of the rich the goodnesse of those that are good the blessednesse of the blessed the beauty of the beautiful the joy of those that rejoyce the light of those that see thy light the Crown and the glory of those that are in glory Thou only art and there is none besides thee our God even God blessed for ever and for ever 171. Ah Lord I know and am assured that it cannot be better with me than to be with thee 172. And to be with thee here on Earth whilst on Earth thou knowest O God that I esteem it to be my only Heaven 173. Let me thus have thee I say alwaies have thee thus and thou knowest O Lord that knowest all things that I have all that I would have for thou only art all mine all 174. Ah that thou wouldst O God take all things from me that hinder thy blessed approach to me and that causeth me to draw back from thee 175. Ah Lord thou knowest that there is nothing that I have but I most willingly offer thee and would cheerfully give thee to have thee 176. My life is not dear to me at all to spend for thee thou knowest O God my God that I account it a thing of nought If thou wilt have it O God take it for I confesse it s thine and not mine 177. Yea I trust that all mine is thine that I am thine all both Spirit Soul and Body and that thee O God and all thine is mine both thy Kingdom power and glory for ever and for ever 178. Ah blessed change to be thus changed into all blessednesse even so as to have the Lord God for our everlasting Portion 179. Weary me O Lord God weary me more and more of my self that I may be dissolved and be with thee which is best of all 180. For out of thee O God my heart is not satisfied neither can any thing but thy self satisfie it either that is in Heaven above or on the Earth below 181. What O Lord what shall I say unto thee thou knowest all things and of me and my heart more than I can tell thee make me and it O God such as thou wilt have me to be that thou maiest ever own me for thine own 182. Ah Lord let me be alwaies on the wing after thee yea let me pursue hard after thee continually let me run and not grow weary and walk and not faint 183. O God that art my God heat I beseech thee my affections increase my desires build me up that I may be a living stone in thy house and ever speak loudly thy praises 184. Ah Lord God let me alwaies have before me Heaven and Hell let me see Heaven as it is prepared for the Just and Hell as it is prepared for the unjust Heaven for those that ever eied it and rejoyced in it aud Hell for those that never feared it nor believed it but by their ungodly lives lived as if there had not been either a Heaven to recompence the Godly or a Hell to punish the ungodly 185. Ah Lord cause me alwaies to eie those things that are invisible that eie never saw that ear never heard nor that ever entred at any time into the heart of any man to conceive even those endlesse everlasting joyes that thou hast O God prepared in Jesus Christ and laid up for all those that love thee 186. Let me Ah let me alwaies hearken to hear that sweet and blessed voyce of thy Holy Spirit within me saying of all the glory that is in glory these are all thine yea all that is mine is thine and thou art mine 187. Ah Lord let me never forget that all these earthly things must passe away from us in a moment in the twinkling of an eie But that our Souls are immorral and shall live for ever and ever in endlesse unexpressible joyes or endlesse everlasting unexpressible Torments 188. How low ah how low are the conceptions of any brain yea the words of men or Angels to expresse and shew forth the life to come either of the one or of the other of those beloved of God that shall ever live and abide in his Love which is in himself or for those that are so hated by him as shall for ever be cast out of his blessed presence and enjoy the cursed wretched company of the Devils and his Angels in burning and unquenchable flames where shall be yelling and roaring weeping and wailing curses and horrid blasphemies against that God and his goodnesse which they know is holy just and good and this as fuel shall feed that fire that cannot be quenched and give life to that gnawing worm an accusing condemning Conscience that shall never die and thus those poor Souls must and shall live everlastingly 189. Ah Lord God give me Faith to believe and grace to repent that I come not into this place of torment but for ever enjoy those eternal and everlasting joyes that thou hast from all Eternity prepared and wilt only give unto those for whom thou hast prepared it 190. Come Lord Jesus come quickly and fill me and feed me and satisfie me here with thy good things that I may ever live to enjoy them and thee 191. Thy appearances O great God are like thy self yea they are thy self but few I fear there are that thus see them and know them thus thy power thou shewest most in weaknesse in such as see confesse and acknowledge themselves to be weak for thou makest the weak strong and causest many times the very meanest and simplest even those according to the knowledge of men that know least to know most for thou hidest thy self from those that seek that knowledge that pufeth up but revealest thy self and shewest thine appearance as the Sun at noon day to those that deny themselves and seek only that Wisdom to know thee that they may give up themselves unto thee 192. Thus O God thou feedest the hungry but the rich thou sendest empty away thou confoundest the wisdom of the wise but makest glad the hearts of thy holy ones which are the humble ones 193. Let me not O God be cast down to doubt of thy Love how low so ever thou shalt cast me nor lifted up above measure
how high soever thou shalt raise me 194. Ah Lord God let my knowledge be that thou livest in me and I in thee that thou art mine and that I am thine 195. Ah Lord destroy the adversaries and enemies of my Salvation here which is thy shining manifesting and appearing in me unto me my knowledge of thee to be mine and I to be thine my dying to self to flesh and World to all that is not of thee and my living only to thee O God the God of my Salvation to thee to thee 196. My hereafter Salvation I know that none nor nothing can hinder me from I shall I know enjoy thee O God possesse thee behold thee know thee and see thee as thou art to be seen and known I say and am sure that nothing is able or shall hinder me from this blessednesse which thou hast prepared for me 197. Ah were it not for the enemies of our Salvation which are our own fleshly lusts and vile affections which fight and warr continually against thee O God our Salvation in us we should see know find and feel the same Salvation ever here as hereafter we should contemplate thy beautiful beauty and thy most glorious glory here even as in glory hereafter 198. Ah Lord God fight then on my behalf consume and destroy wirh an utter destruction all these my enemies which hinder here this my so great Salvation consume and make wast all their powers and deliver my poor Soul because I trust in thee and in thy great name which are thy faithful promises 199. As a Fountain gives freely without intermission or constraint but the natural power or fulnesse that forceth even so should we that live in God and possesse him and his fulnesse be alwaies giving and communicating of what we have And as a fountain that is stopped a while being hindred of continuing its largesse doth as it were during that space make or lay up provision to be more larger in its bounty even so me thinks should we be and do if for some time occasion or opportunity present not but we are as it were stopped from giving being unstopt that is occasion presenting it self to our charity we should shew forth by our grosse streams of largenesse in giving that the restraint of not having occasion was a constraint and against the supernatural now natural faculties of our Souls affections 200. If thus we were alwaies communicating and when we find not occasion so to do had in us alwaies a vehement earnest burning desire to give Ah how like should we be unto our good God and Heavenly Father who gives continually and is never weary nor repenteth Glory to God In Bourdeaux Ann. 1661. 1. The love of God is the best of Heaven the very glory in glory 2. The love of God makes all things lovely to all those that know that they are his beloved 3. Gods love is sweeter than the hony or the hony comb much more desired and to be desired more by much then all fine gold and the most pretious Pearls 4. Gods love is better then Wine to comfort the heart it is the fatnesse marrow and sweetnesse of Heaven that feeds feasts and solaceth the soul. 5. There is nothing in Heaven above to be compared to Gods love 6. And all things that are here below Ah how much below are they all to the love of God 7. He that hath or is in the love of God hath all God for God is all love 8. Ah Lord God love me then so that I may be filled with love to love thee as I should love thee to fear thee as I should fear thee to honour thee as I should honour thee and to obey thee as I should obey thee in all things in spirit soul and body by all my thoughts words and actions now henceforth and for ever more Amen 9. Ah Lord God how unspeakably great is thy love to all thy Children and Servants turning all things to their good even the very worst of things their sins 10. God sheweth his great love unto us how he loveth us by shedding abroad his love so in our hearts as we are made thereby to love him for naturally we love him not therefore did he not give us love to love him we would nor could never love him 11. Ah powerful love that makes of us haters to become true lovers to love him in very truth whom we hated truly 12. Yea those that have the love of God thus in their hearts love him so as it may be truly sayd of them that they love nothing else for they love him above their goods or good name above their Children above their Wives yea much more and above their very lives They can and easily do when called thereto give up all to him and for him his love doth constrain to love him again the heart is so in love with him finding him so lovely that it cryes out continually for more love that it may love him more for nothing comforts such souls as Gods love they make and account his love as himself and himself to be his love and being thus loved by him and living thus in his love they live in him and he in them which is the very life of their lives and the very bliss and Heaven of their Heaven 13. Such is the love of God unto us his Children that he swallows us up and houseth us in himself that we may be all his and he all ours that we may put him so on as be made like him and partake continually of him which is our Crown and glory yea our Crown in glory which will make us shine more beautiful and glorious then ten thousand Sons 14. Cause me O Lord God to declare what thou wilt have me to declare cause me to believe what thou wilt have me to believe cause me to know what thou wilt have me to know and inable me to do all that thou wilt have me to do that I may be filled with thee to live to thee and in thee to thine Eternal honour praise and glory so be it O Lord so be it Amen Amen 15. Goe forth O God go forth before me that I may follow thee where ever thou goest that thou wilt be unto me a light by night in the mid'st of my natural darknesse which is darker then the blackest night and be also unto me a fire by day in the mid'st of thine own light in me which is clearer and brighter then the brightest day that I may burn O God in the Sacred and Divine flames of saving knowledge and obedience unto my lives end 16. Instruct me O Lord in thine own Lawes and write them so upon my heart that I may never depart from them 17. Feast me and fil me O Lord so with thine own self that I may be all thine and thou all mine 18. It is the spirit of Christ or Christ in the Spirit which is perfect God living in us
inspire and teach me to direct and instruct me by thy holy spirit that I may yet prize thee and praise thee for thy late great and sweet mercyes pouered and showred down so gratiously and plentiously into my heart and soul on my bed of sicknesse Ah how greatly hast thou been pleased to strengthen and comfort me and to make me to rejoyce in and over all my paines yea making the thoughts of death and that King of terrors to be pleasant and comely in my eyes Ah the Mountains of the Mountains the Floods Rivers Wells and Springs of true joy that thou hast been pleased O God in Jesus Christ by thy holy Spirit to Communicate unto my soul heart and Conscience feasting and filling me in the assurance of thy gratious and Divine love and the pardon of all my sins the Floods O God of thy most sweet and blessed presence have often covered me and swallowed up my soul into the Ocean of thy unexpressable and infinite goodness Thus even thus thou raisest up those that are fallen comfortest those that are afflicted healest those that are sick strengthenest those that are weak inrichest those that are poor cloathest those that are naked and settest poor Prisoners free that they may freely rejoyce in thee and this joy I am sure none can nor none shall take from me for being thus redeemed and made free by thee O Christ we are free indeed and shall with thee enjoy perfect freedome and Liberty And now O Lord God what shall I render unto thee for all thy many and special mercyes which thou hast been pleased so richly gratiously freely and plentifully to pour down upon my poor soul and body I have nothing to offer thee but what is already thine own all is thine O God I confess all mine is thine and I am thine give me I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ who is worthy a heart according to thine own heart that I may walk worthily before thee all the remainder of my dayes not turning aside or going astray to the right hand of pleasures or the left hand of profits and that I may make it my daily food to keep thy holy Lawes yea my Heaven here on earth to do thy will on earth as it is done in Heaven Let henceforth all my thoughts words and actions tend to honour and glorifie thee my good God and Heavenly Father making thine honour only my honour and thy glory my glory redeeming the fore past time of my life by an exact serious careful watchful and holy walking in thy most holy wayes and never be truly satisfied till thou hast alâ—ogether sanctified me in spirit soul and body so that I may alwayes see my self in thee and thee in me and know my self to be thine and thee to be mine Ah Lord thou knowest all my thoughts affections and desires yea my very heart what then shall I say unto thee make me I beseech thee such as thou would'st have me to be fit me for thy self and take me to thy self do for me what thou knowest to be best for me that I may glorifie thee not what I will but all that thou wilt both on soul and body that I may live that life and dye that death by which I may glorifie thee most is all and the only desires of my heart and soul so be it Lord so be it Amen Amen Ah Lord God that knowest all things thou knowest what is my end and ayme in publishing this thy work thine it is and I trust thou wilt own it and therefore I seek no other power to patronize or protect it and thou owning of it I care not who disown it thou esteeming of it I care not who dis-esteem it thou approving of it I care not who disapprove of it and that thou wilt do this and blesse it too unto the hearts of many O Lord I believe and therein rejoyce that it shall prove a Cordial to some and a Corrisive unto others a plaister of healing to some and a sharp Lance to make the wound deeper of others even as a savour of life to some and of death to others to cast down some and to raise up others ' to condemne some and to justifie others to give trouble to some and peace to others for some scoffing deriding Ishmaels rayling Shemeies sinful Critical censures I cannot but think it will meet within this sinful ignorant Nation and times because it hath not the false visage on which they prize that is the invention and flourishes of the brain of humane Wisdome for such Ah Lord it is not intended neither by thee I know nor by me so I shall not I trust care for or be a whit troubled at such Curs snarling or barking for power I know they shall not have to bite or hurt me But some true Nathaniels in whom there is neither gale not guile some spiritually wise unto Salvation that are able to judge of all things having that anointing in them that is truth and no lye and which teacheth and instructeth them in the truth many such I hope and trust it shall also meet with and for them and for them only it is I hope by thee O Lord my God intended and so thou knowest it is by me that they with me may together Laud and praise thee and give thee the honour due unto thy holy name for all thy gracious works of wonders wrought in and on my poor soul. I know O Lord that what thou hast thus in the abundance of thy mercies given me is not for my self alone neither may I monopolize it to my self hide away this my Talent in this my house of Clay not keep this Star or rather Sun-light from others but thou expectest and requirest I know well that as I have freely received so that I freely impart of it and give it as thine unto others that I should refresh them with the same refreshing wherewith thou hast refreshed my poor unworthy soul and comfort and make glad their hearts with the same comforts that thou hast made glad and comforted mine and give them to eat and drink of that true bread and water of life wherewith thou hast so abundantly and frequently fed feasted solaced and refreshed me and as it were inrich them with the true riches of saving knowledge to know thee the true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent which thou hast I praise thee in some measure caused me to know to my Everlasting comfort thus even thus I am sure O God is thy good will and pleasure that I Communicate and forget not what thou hast in so much love Communicated unto me impart unto them all that thou hast imparted unto me And I praise thy goodnesse O God for that thou hast given me a heart in some measure heartily to desire it and longingly and lovingly to imbrace with much comfort joy and content all occasions whatsoever to do it unto all without any respect of persons to the
not that is they are not what they seem to be what they promise to be nor what we take them to be Serve no longer Ah be thou perswaded to serve no longer Devils lusts Worlds lusts or self lusts but serve Ah serve the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity and truth with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life that he may be still and still unto thee thy God and thy guide thy Sun and thy Shield thy peace and thy portion in the land of the living Neglect Ah neglect no longer nor put off no longer so sweet so certain and so great Salvation as those that are with God enjoy 206. Cast not Ah cast not his holy and divine Commandments behind thy back any more and trample not his precepts under thy feet and turn not his grace of love and mercy into wantonness quench not Ah quench not the motions of his holy Spirit by which thou art sealed unto the day of redemption but open quickly yea set quickly wide open the door of thy heart and let him in lest he depart from thee and swear in his wrath that thou shalt never enter into his rest and say unto thee as he did unto Jerusalem seeing that thou wouldst not be gathered unto me all my mercies shall be for ever hid from thine eyes and seeing that he would not that I should reign over him come slay him before me Ah who then who then shall be able to deliver thee from the wrath of the Lamb who is the Lyon of the Tribe of Judah he will tear he will tear thee in pieces in his anger and break thee even as a Potters Vessel is broken for none shall be able to deliver thee out of his hands nay all shall be against thee good and bad Angels Saints and sinners yea thine own self shall have indignation against thy self thine own eyes shall look evilly on thee thine own hands shall tear thee in Pieces thine own thine own feet shall carry thee to the place of execution thine own thine own Conscience shall accuse and condemn thee and justifie Gods Righteous dealing towards thee thus thus shalt thou be there forsaken of all if thou dost here forsake God and refuse to be led guided and directed by his holy Spirit who is only able to keep thee safe from all evil and to do thee all all good 207. O man man Reader whoever thou art I pray thee I pray thee as the Prophet did and say unto thee in his words O earth earth earth return return unto the Lord thy God and thou shalt find mercy his hand is not shortned his eare is not dull of hearing he is the same yesterday to day and for ever it is thy sins thy sins and only thy sins that separates between thee and thy God leave Ah leave then but thy sins and return unto the Lord and thou shalt find mercy and to our God who is full of Compassion Ah tast tast and see how good the Lord is and how gratious he will be unto thee if thou wilt leave and forsake thy filthy filthy sins though thou hast played the Prodigal and spent the stock of his grace on Harlots and Strangers in a far Country yet Ah yet if thou wilt but return whilst he seeth thee yet afar off he will run towards thee to meet thee and fall on thy neck and kiss thee and kill for thee the fatted Calf and array thee with the best white Robes even with the Royal and most glorious Robes of his own only natural Son and thine Eldest Brother Christ Jesus he will delight in thee yea set his heart upon thee to do thee good and bring thee home to himself and give thee himself for thy Portion and make thee his own inheritance for ever 208. But I am perswaded that thou art fully perswaded that there is not so much sweetness in Jesus Christ as in the world not his paths are not so pleasant and delightful as the wayes of sin and therefore thou makest the world thy God and thy Christ and lovest it as thou should'st love God and Christ well the world and sin and its good and pleasures thou knowest well I desire only this one thing of thee that thou would'st labour to know Christ as well as thou knowest the world and sin serve him as many years as thou hast served them and if thou dost not find more sweet more beauty more pleasantnesse more delight more profit more advantage and more honour then in the world and sin return then to thine old Masters again and serve them but I promise and assure thee and will freely pawn thee my soul for surety that thou shalt gain more by serving Christ one year if that thou do'st it as thou oughtest then by serving the world and sin all the dayes of thy life and if thou dost repent of thy bargain I will confess that I do deserve thy curses and not thy prayers thou shalt find thou shalt find that his wayes are not strowed with Thorns and Thistels as thou supposest but with Odoriferent Roses and sweet perfumes as thou supposest not keep Ah keep faithfully thy Covenant with God and he will give thee much more then thou art able to ask then thou art able to think 209. Consider the service thou shalt do for God thou shalt by thy life if Godly perhaps bring home many to him for thy Companions heretofore in sin will have more regard to thee then unto others of the Godly and will now conclude that surely Gods wayes are the most pleasant and delight some seeing thou preferest them and choosest and esteemest and praisest them above and more and beyond all the wayes of sin and this may cause them perhaps to make a tryal which if they do there is hopes for God will not be wanting on his part to shew them mercy if they desire it and seek it faithfully with all their hearts 210. If thou wilt then witness thy living and being risen with Christ seek the things that are above where Christ sitteth at the right hand of God set your affections on things above not on things on the earth let your hearts be where your treasure is for ye are dead and your life is hid with Christ in God put off Ah put off the old man with all his deeds and put on the new man which is renewed in knowledg after the Image of him that Created him and as the Elect of God put on bowels of mercys kindness humbleness of mind meekness long suffering forbearing one another and forgiving one another if any man have a quarrel against any even as Christ forgave you so also do ye and above all these things put on Charity which is the bond of perfectness and let the peace of God rule in your hearts to the which also ye are called in one body and be ye thankful let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another in