blessed Sphere Suffer me not dear Lord to moove from thee There is no rest But in thy Brest And in thine absence present misery O that I were at rest with thee Or else that thou wert come to mee Since in thine absence I am so distrest Thy wrathfull frown Hath thrown me down And rais'd a storm in my unquiet brest Come Lord and close these wretched eyes So blear'd with sins and miseries Resolve this erring heart to tamer dust Which every day Thus sleals away That it may rise more joyfull and more just THE SINNERS JOY All my Soul why so dismai'd Why so sad so sore afraid Canst thou think those gratious eyes Drench'd in tears for thee Can disdain such powerfull cryes Such humility Sinners soules must sorrow keep Man may mourn when God can weep Soul though thou hast done amiss Yet rejoyce for thou art his See his soul was sad to death In his agony Sad to case thy wofull breath In thy misery Be not faithless but beleeve Man may sigh when God can grieve Do not grudge to lend a tear Can'st thou doubt or can'st thou fear Can'st thou see his bleeding heart And not believe him Wounded soul that bears a part Can never grieve him Timely tears are precious seed Man may weep when God can bleed Be not so cast down Alass See his soul forsaken was Frighted with his Fathers frown Left in paines of hell Ah why art thou so cast down 'T was to make thee well Doubt not but admire his cost Man may stray when God was lost Soul when thou art left alone Do not deem thy Saviour gone When thou canst not see his face 'T is to let thee know That those sinnes with-draw his grace Which brought him so low See where he in grave doth lie Man may faint when God can die Weep no more but wipe thine eyes See O see thy Saviour rise Happie Soul thy debts are paid He is ascended Death is not be not afraid All woes are ended Grieve no more believe and live Man may take when God can give DEO SALVATORI WIth sighing Soul and bended knee Thy Servant vowes himself to thee My God accept a broken heart Bleeding for Sin O thou which art The Soveraign balm vouchsafe to bee My dearest Lord that Balm to mee Inlighten with thy saving grace Those eyes thou guidest to this place And grant dear God those fins of mine May not obscure that Grace of thine Amen THE SINNER'S TEARS The Entrance to the Work THere is no man but naturally desireth Happiness even those unhappy ones that least endeavour for it have oftentimes an earnest longing to it there can be no true Happiness without Peace no true Peace without Holiness without offering violence to our corrupt affections without ransaking our soules and searching out the very secrets of our Sinfull hearts the wordling may be outwardly merry but none but the sons of sorrow can be inwardly contented that outward Joy may delight for a season but this inward Peace remaineth for ever Peace is the richest Jewell in a Christians Cabinet the choisest Legacy that Christ bequeathed to his chosen ones in it there is a complication of all Blessings and without it an expectation of all Miseries there is no attaining to it but by the search of him who is the giver of it there is no following this search but by that path which leadeth to the ready way and there is but one guide that can direct us unto that path Blessed God there is no way unto thee but by thee thou art life and thou art the way to that life and thou art the guide to that way thou Lord art all in all unto me and therefore shalt be now and ever praised by me In all awfull reverence to thy sacred Majestie in fear and trembling at the sight of thy severe Justice to impenitent sinners in serious apprehension of thy sweet mercy in forbearing me a miserable wretch and with unfeigned forrow and humilitie of heart for grieving thy good Spirit I here dedicate the short remainer of my sinfull dayes to thy service In thy name and in thy fear I begin my discourse who art the God of peace by whose holy Spirit I am guided to this happy search Lord lead mee in it by the same Spirit that I may become an instrument of glory unto thee of happiness to thine of rest to mine own soul CHAP. I. Upon the consideration of our sinfull thoughts touching the Sacred Deitie with holy cautions to order our Devotions aright Lord WHen I seriously consider what thou art the least glimps of whose eternall glory I can no way see but by conceiving what thou art not when I look upon the vast distance between thee the blessed Creator and mee thy sinfull Creature I cannot but wonder at thy great patience at thy rich goodness at thine endless mercy towards mee My whole life from my nativitie hath been a continued course of sinfulness against thee mine actions highly rebellious my thoughts finfully wicked even the very best of them a dark confused indigested heap of misconceivings of thy sacred Majestie Thou Lord art an Essence most glorious most inconceivable eternallie injoying Blessedness in the fruition of thy self thy Centre is every where thy Circumference no where thou admittest not of Augmentation nor of Diminution no length of time is bâ—yond thee no depth of wisdome beneath thee no height of glory above thee no bredth of mercy beside thee Thou aâ—tâ—o Lord a most pure simple and eternall beeing Pure without matter without form Simple without mixture without composition Eternall without beginning without end no Created being can express thee no imagination conceive thee no understanding utter thee when I think of thee as thou art the bright beames of thy glory amaze mee when I conceive of thee what thou art not the terrors of mine own heart affright mee even but the Least thought of this kind is impious seeing that hereby I do not onely rob thee of thy glory but even deprive thee of thy self and yet Lord as thy being is most high so is the search thereof most necessary because from it as from the blessed fountain I enjoy my present I exspect my future happiness and unto it with joy of heart and earnestness of soul I desire should run the current of my praises in this life of my Allelujaes in that to come When I find therefore any Corporall parts appropriated to the Divine nature I there see thee gratiously descending to the weakness of my frail and infirm nature and ever bless thy holy name that vouchsafest to declare thy self not as thou art but as I am Thine Eye Lord is thy Wisdom thy Right hand thy Power thy sitting thine Immutability thy Standing thy Fortitude thine Anger thy Justice in punishing thy Repentance thy Mercy in pardoning thy Hatred of sin thy Holiness thy grieving thy Loving kindness thy Patience and long suffering thy Goodness all are thy self Neither is it
long patience in thy great goodnesse in thy rich mercies in thy fatherly affections towards me I am wofully sunk into the deep mire of sin where no stay is Lord uphold me by thy grace that I perish not eternally O deliver me for thy mercy sake for I am helplesse and poor and my heart is wounded within me Let my soul live and it shall praise thee and thy judgements shall help me As thou hast raised me by thy power so rule me by thy providence that thy grace may be far sweeter with my sufferings than my pleasure with my sins Restrain my loose desires renew my good purposes assist my weak endeavours correct mine errours sustain my infirmities give me a godly sorrow for my sins a thankfull heart for thy favours a filiall fear of thy judgements a sincere love to thy laws an holy constancy and happy perseverance to my lives end Amen CHAP. 13. Upon the great danger of Presumption ALass my Soul how vain art thou how wretched to presume upon the mercy of thy God how canst thou be so foolish to believe that God will favour thee in that which he so severely punished in his own Son thinkest thou that pretious bloud was spilt to cherish sin Be not mistaken for as Christ Iesus came into the world to save sinners so he came allso to call sinners to repentance Doest thou argue well to say because God is mercifull long-suffering and of great goodnesse therefore I will abuse his mercy in sinning his patience by my long continuing in sin his great goodnesse by my great unthankfulnesse is not this to mock his mercy to bid defiance to his justice to arm him with fury to invite him to revenge Assure thy self the longer he is in drawing his Bow the more forcible will he send his Arrow Deceive not thy self therefore God will not be so mercifull to thee as to be unjust to himself All the waies of God are Mercy and Truth Mercy to support thy weaknesse Truth to correct thy wilfulnesse There is therefore Mercy with him that he may be feared not that he may be slighted not that he may be shamefully dishonoured How full of falshood is thy bold presumption thou criest Peace Peace when sudden War is ready to destroy thee There is no peace to the wicked saith my God Heaven and Earth are up in Arms against thee and there is none left not so much as thine own Conscience to deliver thee Thou hast gratiously received the knowledge of the truth thou hast grievously sinned against the light of that knowledge thou hast wofully continuâ—d in thy sins without remorse of conscience without desire of repentance and there now remaineth no more sacrifice for sin but a searfull looking for of judgement and violent fire that shall devour the Adversaries O remember that the Angels for one sin were thrown down from Heaven and that Adam for one sin was cast out of Paradise Thy sins O my Soul are innumerable thou hast had line upon line and precept upon precept and yet thou addest sin upon sin and transgression upon transgression Thou hast sinned against many pretious promises against many gratious performances against many fearfull judgements thou hast grieved that good Spirit by which the Saints are sealed up unto the day of redemption All these are heavy aggravations upon thee to fill up the measure of thy sins and hasten the swiftnesse of thy punishments Ah how sad is thy condition thou hast not onely wearied out thy self in wickednesse but thy God allso hear what he faith unto thee how he complaineth of thee by his holy Prophet Behold I am pressed under you as a cart is laden with sheaves Amos 2.13 and yet thou still addest more load but as thou addest sin upon sin so thou callest for wrath upon wrath as thou hast made a mock at sin so God will make a mock at misery as thou hast thy measure in sinning so God will have his measure in punishing Consider what he saith unto thee by his Prophet Judgement will I lay to the rule and Righteousnesse to the ballance Esay 28.17 18. As he hath a bottle for thy tears so he hath a bag for thy transgressions Job 14.17 their growth is recorded their number accounted their nature examined all sealed up against the great and fearfull day of the revelation of the righteous judgement O consider this thou that forgettest God lest he tear thee in pieces and there be none to deliver thee Think how suddenly thou mayst be snatcht away by those infernall Fiends to endlesse torments and then what tears will be enough to weep thine obsequies to quench those everlasting burnings But then alass instead of tears of compassion thou shalt have mocks of derision the cursed Devils will laugh thee to scorn the blessed Saints and Angels will rejoyce at thy confusion and God himself who onely can relieve thee will for ever hide his tender mercy from thee Awake therefore out of thy sleep of death look well into thy lost estate thou art now near unto making up the measure of thy sins beyond which thou canst not passe Thy God hath said to thee as to the Sea hitherto malt thou goe and here shalt thou stay thy proud waves Think how suddenly thou mayest be called to thy last account even this very hour for ought thou knowest those cursed Spirits may convey thee to thy fiery Prison O think how powerfully the wrath of God will then seize upon thee how wofully thou wilt excrutiate thy self with apprehension of thy former folly and last of all how wretchedly thou art forever banisht from eternall joyes to suffer with the damned in eternall torments Lâ—t this move thee to amend thy wicked wayes to cry mightily to God for mercy to judge thy self to condemn thy self that thou mayst not be judged of the Lord to Kiss the Son lest he be angry and so thou perish from the right way If his wrath be kindled yea but a little blessed are all they that put their trust in him Turn therefore unto the Lord thy God O my soul for he is gracious and merciful slow to anger and of great kindness and repenteth him of the evil Blessed Lord As an unfeigned sign of my repentance in anguish of heart and bitterness of soul I earnestly desire to search into the secreets of my sinfull thoughts to unbosom all my sins and lay them open to the view of all thy Saints that thou mayst have the glory they the good and I the shame of my confession that so this penitent sense of mine iniquities which I thankfully acknowledge cometh alone from thee may be an evidence unto me that thou wilt also give me pardon for them Lord I willingly confess my self to be a great and grievous sinner mine original defiled my birth polluted mine infancy stained my youth insnared my manhood corrupted mine age besotted Mine imaginations vain my thoughts sinfull my words wicked mine actions abhominable my
whole life a very sink of sin and all uncleanness When thy hand hath been heavy upon me I have then promised thee amendment when thy rode hath been taken off from me I have again returned to mine evil courses this plainly sheweth that I have hitherto sought but any self in thee and may therefore justly fear to be forsaken of thee I have been undutiful to thee my God envious and uncharitable to my neighbour hypocritical to the world deceitful to mine own soul My thoughts have been wanton my desires lascivious my actions unclean I have been blind to thy precepts deaf to thy promises dumb in thy praises lame in thy services sick at thine ordinances dead to thy imbraces I have broken all my promises I have slighted all thy threatnings I have abused all thy mercies I have rejected all thy favours I have delayed my repentance I have resisted the checks of mine own conscience I have quenched the motions of thy blessed Spirit and turned thy grace into wantonness and yet as if all this had been too little to condemn me I have most daringly presumed on thy mercie and most ungracionsly resolved to go on in my impieties Lord thou hast peomised to forgive those that repent to ease those that are heavy laden to raise up those that are fallen to satisfie those that are hungry and to bind up those that are broken-hearted O Lord my God I earnestly desire to repent I am laden with a burthen insupportable I am feeble and sore smitten with the terrors of thy Law my flesh trembleth and my heart fainteth I am fallen into the very mouth of hell I am sorely wounded with the remorse of mine own accusing conscience and hungry for the sweet refreshings of thy saving grace Thou O Lord hast made me sensible of this my great misery and thou alone canst make me capable of thy rich mercy unto that mercie therefore I appeal with sighs in my soul and sorrow in my heart O thou which art the blessed fountain of all goodness which desirest not the death of a sinner but rather that he should repent and live have mercy upon me O thou which art the Saviour of the world which camest to seek and to save those which were lost have mercy upon me O holy and for ever blessed Spirit thou which feedest and refreshest the distressed soules of thine Elect have mercy on me Let thy power O blessed Father support my weakness thy wisdom O blessed Son supply my folly thy love O blessed Spirit restrain my wilfulness that as thou art eternally one so I may for ever be at unity with thee although most wofully divided in my self Lord as thou hast given me a heart to pray unto thee so give me also a soul to praise thee and a serius resolution to perform those promises I make unto thee Lord sweeten all my sorrows by thy blessed sufferings inlarge my heart with thankfulness for thy many favours strengthen my weak faith restrain my rebellious nature increase daily in me the gifts and graces of thy blessed Spirit indue me with a perfect hatred against all sin and grant dear God that daring and presumptuous sinnes may never have dominion over me Amen CHAP. 14. Upon Quenching the motions of Gods holy Spirit COnsider O my soul from whence these happy thoughts arise and wherefore if they were from nature they must needs savour of corruption but now they are from Grace they summon thee to goodness they beckon thee to immortality Thy God now calleth thee to repentance he offers thee his gracious pardon for thy sin his love his protection his peace his grace his glory He now woeth thee to favour and thou a wofull wretch convicted by thine own accusing conscience condemned by divine Justice rebelliously rejectest all these gracious offers Ah what wofull folly is this nay rather what wilfull madness As there is a time of calling so there will be a time of rejecting the blessed wind of Gods holy Spirit bloweth but where it listeth when it is once gone thou knowest not whether it shall ever return God will have mercy on whom he will have mercy and whom he will he hardeneth Rom. 9. Ah wo be unto that soul whose time of calling is once past a thousand worlds cannot redeem its loss If thou wilt not now embrace these comfortable breathings of his tender love thou shalt then endure the bitter storms of his incensed wrath If thou wilt not embrace his Mercy thou shalt exalt his Justice I called unto you saith God and yee refused to come I held out my hand and ye would not look towards me therefore will I forsake you in your extremity when your fear cometh as desolation and your destruction as a whirlwind when distress and anguish cometh upon you then shall they call upon me but I will not answer they shall seek me early but they shall not find me Prov. 1.24 27 28. Gods clemency and patience in this life will assuredly exasperate his fury and revenge in that to come as his Mercy is unutterable so his Justice is intollerable both are his divine being and therefore both must needs be infinite both are to manifest his glory and therefore both must be eternall From hence is that expression of Saint Vaul It is a fearfull thing to fall into the hands of the living God Heb. 10. From hence it is that wicked men are left unto their own swing in this life that they may be payd home with Gods wrath in that to come Let this teach thee O my soul to welcome these endeared motions of the gladding Spirit to thirst for them to rejoyce in them to think no thought too dear to be disloged for them Blessed Lord I hear thee calling thy holy Apostle Saint Peter and I see him readily forsaking all to follow thee how often hast thou called me a sinfull wretch by the sweet motions of thy blessed Spirit and I have hitherto refused to forsake the very least of all my sins for thy sake who willingly forsookest all the pleasures of this life for mine Long hast thou waited my repentance but I have yet hated to be reformed Mercy hath been offered and I have not esteemed it Judgement hath been threatned and I have not regarded it thou hast not onely whispered unto me by thy gracious visits of thy blessed Spirit but thou hast even called me aloud by thy divine hand of wholsom chastisement By loss of friends by loss of means by loss of health by loss of liberty and without thy rich mercy by the great danger of that greater loss of thy Gospel and thereby of thy gracious presence in this life and thine eternall joys in that to come All this my sins have justly brought upon me and yet for all this my wretched heart desires to be a stranger to thee Lord who am I that thou so graciously invitest unto mercy Lord what am I that now presume to speak unto thee I am so
eternall life O wofull cateif if I well consider what I am but sar more wofull if I seriously consider what I should be Lord when I was in my blood thou saidst unto me Live when I was cast out and none eye pittied me then thou hadst mercy on me when I was naked thou clothedst me when I was wounded thou healedst me nay more Lord thou didst uncloath thy self for me and by thy wounds I am healed when I was loathsom in mine own eyes I was beautifull in thine and when all this is not yet enough to manifest thy wonderfull compassions towards me thou feedest me at thine own Table thou lodgest me in thine own bosom thou makest me partaker of thine own inheritance Blessed God what couldest thou have done more for me that thou hast not done And yet for all this I forsake thee I neglect thee I abuse thee I adulterate those many vows and promises I made unto thee And now Lord when I am even ashamed to present my self before thee when my false heart hath been so great a stranger to thy blessed bosom that I am even afraid to kneel to thee for mercy thou graciously forgivest me thou bemoanest my sin thou hidest my shaure thou makest love unto me and to the wonder of my soul delightest still to set thy love upon me Thou O my blessed Saviour hast told me that if I were of this World it would love me but now I am not of this World that the World hateth me Lord what madness is this in me to love mine utter enemy to delight in her bosom which hunteth for my precious life to forlake thee the pleasant Lilly of the Vallies the sweet Refreshments of Eternity to weary out and wound my soul amongst the Bryars of this barren Wilderness Thou Lord hast sayd unto me Arise my Love my Fair one and come away thou invitest me from the showers and tempests of a stormy Winter from the cares and troubles of a discontented life to the sweet dews of thy graces the gentle breathings of thy Spirit the tender buds of thy love the lovely blossems of thy goodness the pleasant fruit of thy promises the joyfull crop of thy performances And notwithstanding all this I still cry yet a little more sleep yet a little more number yet a little more folding of the hands together yet a little more sin yet a little more shame yet a little more sorrow Ah Lord what is there in the creature that thus strangely bewitcheth me or rather what is there not in it that is not every minute ready to betray me and dispoyl me of those precious ornaments of soul which thou hast given me the cares and crosses of this life asflict me the pleasures besot me the profits disturb me pride puffeth me up and even mine own heart deceiveth me by calling good evill and evill good by making that sweet in the expectation which is bitter in the fruition Lord while I have sought the creature I have lost my self my body in distempers my soul in distractions That precious Faith which is the ground of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen whose end is the salvation of my soul which is thy gift who art the God of truth is now drowned in a sea of error and justly given up to believe dreams and delusions and doctrines of Devils to trust wholly in vanity and to follow after lying That saving knowledge by which I was formerly enlightned in thy sacred Truths is now blinded with the soggy mists of sin and ignorance This Lord is my great aggravation and just condemnation that light is come into the world and I have loved darkness better than light That glorious hope which maketh not ashamed but exspecteth an inheritance eternall in the heavens which fadeth not away is now become a vain and empty hope delighted with sin rewarded with shame Those blessed affections by which my happy soul was wont to walk in thy wayes and to delight it self in thy commands are now wearied out in wayes of wickedness and that heart which hath so often promised obedience unto thee any thy Laws hath now forsaken thee the living God and made a covenant with death and hell Thus am I robbed and spoyled of all and am become poor and wretched and blind and naked and miserable my whole head is sick and my whole heart is faint I have sown in iniquity and must reap in asfliction I am intoxicated with the wine of Errour that stings me like a Scrpent and bites me like a Cockatrice and yet when I awake such is the sadnesse of my present condition I say I will seek it yet still Lord he that is once out of thy path knoweth not the length of his journey and may well fear to lose himself for ever And now Lord what is my hope truly my hope is even in thee thou seest my weaknesse and acceptest my willingnesse thou that knowest it impossible that the world should be overcome by me biddest me be of good comfort because thou Lord hast overcome the world for me if I fight not against thee though I am often foyled yet I am more than conquerour in thee O let this teach me joyfully to rely upon thee to make thee the height of my joy the end of my desires the onely happy and eternall object of my sinfull soul Lord I heartily defire thee I thankfully embrace thee and doe for ever vow my soul and body to thee Suffer me not to wander from thy blessed presence let me not longer dally nor dissemble with my soul O let me not think that I then love thee when I love but my self in thee make me now at last to know those blessed things that belong to my peace lest they be for ever hid from mine eyes Lord by thy rich mercy I can now plainly see the vanity and emptinesse of all these earthly objects the folly and misery of those that rest in them the rest and quietnesse of those that least rely upon them in this tranfitory beauty of the Creature I can now behold the ravishing perfections of the great Creatoâ—r Lord I now exceedingly desire to know thee that I may for ever love thee that I may be sick of love till I enjoy thee that I may joyfully rest in thee and be eternally united to thee For thou Lord art infinitely sweeter than the sweetnesse of thy Creatwes they are all but emptinesse and vanity but in thy presence is the fulnesse of joy and at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore O thou blessed Fountain of eternall goodnesse forgive me mine offences cover my sins and fix my soul upon the sweetnesse of thy heavenly joyes give me constancy and steadinesse of heart to cleave unto thee and for thy mercy sake remove all vain desires that may betray me from thee O thou blessed Saviour of my sinfull soul by whose persect obedience all my disobedience is forgiven me who hast given
therefore for if thy faith be weak yet it is living if it be languishing it will assuredly recover more strength if there be blossomes now there will be fruit hereafter these happy beginnings will have gratious proceedings blessed câ—dings Consider what thy God hath promised by his holy Prophet I will not break the bruised reed nor quench the smoking flax Isay 42.3 Let not the smarting therefore of thy conscience trouble thee remember who it is that searcheth it I have wounded thee saith God and I will heal thee I have broken thee and I will bind thee up Thou art therefore wounded that thou mayst be healed thou art therefore broken that thou mayst be bound up That sore which is insensible is ever most dangerous and that wound which smarteth most is most capable of remedy Blessed Lord I now feel to mine unspeakable comfort that thou hast wounded me with the terrours of thy Law that thou mayst heal me with the comforts of thy Gospell that I am therefore bruised with the burden of my sins that I may be ever eased by the merits of my Saviours sufferings all my imperfections are his all his righteousness is mine I may boldly chalenge it thou wilt not deny it I may safely plead it thou canst not refuse it Consider yet further O my Soul what thy blessed Saviour saith unto thee I am the resurrection and the life he that believeth in me though he were dead yet shall be live and whosever liveth and believeth in me shall never dye Ioh. 11.25 26. How canst thou doubt now O my Soul when thy Saviour biddeth thee believe and live what canst thou fear when thou hast his promise for thy safety Heaven and Earth shall pass away but not one tittle of his Word shall fail Let not the number of thy sins affright thee for it is his bloud which clenseth us from all iniquity 1 Ioh. 1.7 9. Let not the nature of thy sins amaze thee for though they were red as scarlet yet he will make them white as snow Let not the long continuance of them stagger thee for At what time soever a sinner doth repent him of his sins from the bottome of his heart I will blot them out of my remembrance saith the Lord Ezech. 18. Thy Coâ—â—cience shall not trouble thee for Being justified by faith we have peace with God Rom. 5.1 The Devill cannot hurt thee for Who shall lay any thing to the charge of Gods elect it is God that justifieth who is he that condemneth it is Christ that died yea rather that is risen again who is even at the right hand of God who allso maketh intercession for us Rom. 8.32 33. Nay which is the sum of all God himself in Iustice cannot condemn thee for There is no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit Rom. 8.1 his lustice is satisfied his Mercy magnified his Name be for ever glorified Lord let this teach me to rely with comfort on thy blessed promises and to walk worchy of them in my religious performances to manifest my increase of grace by my increase of goodness to fix my heart wholly upon thee to love thee to fear thee to honour thee and assuredly to rest in thee when thy grace shall enable me to delight in thy fear my sins can never perswade me to despair of thy favour my peace will be then inviolable my joy unutterable my happiness unalterable Blessed Lord God When I consider of the wretchedness of mine own corruptions in nature I am even ready to despair of thy love But when I look upon the blessedness of my condition in Christ I am then encouraged to sue to thee for mercy and forgiveness Allthough thy justice be severe against ane as I am a grievous sinner yet thy mercy is most sweet unto me in my Saviour I now tremble at thy judgements yet I rejoyce in thy promises allthough thy Law speak never so terribly thy curses be never so many thy plagues be never so grievous thy wrath never so tempestuous yet in the sweet mercy of my Saviour I am able to abide them all O Lord my God I abhor my self I accuse my self I condemn my self I am now ready with thy wrath to seize upon my sinfull soul and cast it down to everlasting misery Lord unto thee onely I appeal for mercy and forgiveness sweet Jesus accept of me and interpose thy blessed merits for me inrich my soul with thy sufferings be ever present with me and eternall comfort to me O holy and for ever blesssed Spirit thou that sanclifiest the souls of thine Elect assist and strengthen me quicken and revive my drooping saith increase my hope cherish my love foment those dying sparks by the sweet breathings of thy blessed Spirit that they may zealously break forth into a pure and fervent flame of holy affections to thy great glory and mine own eternall happiness Amen CHAP. 30. Upon the great Neglect of the duty of Prayer Lord WHen I serionsly consider how manifold and great my failings are when I think of the shortness and uncertainty of life of the solemnity of death of the eternity of happiness or misery after death and by all these of the necessity usefulness and excellency of Prayer I may well wonder that I am ever from my knees My life is all sin and had therefore need to be all sorrow the greatness and continuance of my sins have added to the greatness and continuance of my misery and there is none but thou O Lord that can relieve me there is no coming to thee but by Prayer and no Prayer powerfull with thee but that which is fervent This is â—hat eye of my affection that woundeth the heart of thy compassion this is that holy violence that taketh Heaven by force that surpriseth thy Mercy that manicles thy Justice that wrestles with thy Love and will not let thee goe without a blessing This is my strong armour to defend me my daily food to sustein me my safe repose to refresh me my sweet content for ever to delight me Blessed Lord how wonderfull is thy desire to man how graciously doest thou provide for him how daily art thou mindfull of him Thy words instruct me thy promises allure me thy graces sustein me thy sacraments strengthen me thy visits comfort me thy embraces ravish me And as if all this were not yet enough to manifest thy favour towards me so unspeakable is thy love so earnest thy desires unto me that thou hast even given me thy self to be overcome by me Lord thou art all love when I strive with thee for mercy I overcome thee by thy self how great is thy goodness how tender are thy mercies unto man for whose sake thou contendest even with thine own Essence Thou hast given thy Son to die for me and in him thy self to be overcome by me Lord let this teach me to renew my acquaintance often with thee to
enough for me to consider the Divine nature in Unitie of Essence unless I go yet further and find a Trinity of Persons to be curious in this search is dangerous to be careless damnable nothing may be here safely seen but what is gratiously revealed Lord no man can see thee as thou art in thy self suffer mee therefore to see thee as thou art unto us that I may know thee and love thee and delight in thee and be for ever known and loved of thee If there were not an eternity of being then it may be truly said that not being was before being and so that being had its rise from-not being by causing it self to be when it was not So should Privation which was eternally evill produce that glorious being which is eternally good Seeing this cannot be it will hence follow that being was from all eternity and that this being was eternally Good for that which was good in the effect must needs be far more eminently good in the cause That this eternall good being must be also infinite because eternity it self is infinite That this infinite eternall good being must be of infinite power to continue infinitely That this infinite power must also bee of infinite understanding to support and preserve this eternall infintie good beeing and this infinite understanding is God Where there is an infinite understanding there must also be an infinite object to be understood els could it not be insinitely active and so should both eternity and infinitie suffer diminution and become defective which were for them both to be and not to be which is impossible and seeing there can be no object infinite out of God therefore this eternall infinite and ever-blessed object must of necessity be God Where there is an infinite understanding and an infinite object to be understood there cannot choose but be an infinite and eternall love for from this infinite Understanding of this infinitely amiable and for ever blessed object there must needs proceed an infinite delight whereby it infinitely injoyeth its own excellency and eternally reflecteth on the beauty of its own perfection els this infinite eternall understanding should want power to enjoy this infinitely aimiable object and so should be neither good infinite nor eternall and this infinite and eternall love is God Now because this Understanding Object and Love are all infinite and that whatsoever is infinite must of necessity be God it will from thence truly and undoubtedly follow that this understanding is God this Object God and this Love God And because it is as equally impossible that there can be any more than one infinite therefore it will as assuredly follow that these three are one three in Existence one in Essence three in Order one in Eternity three persons one eternall infinite glorious incomprehensible wise God to whom be glory for ever Amen This is that blessed Father Son and Holy Spirit that ineffable most mysterious Trinity in Unity eternally injoying blessedness in its own Essence This is that blessed inter-union of that ever blessed Spirit that most unspeakable immutable incomprehensible fruition of eternall joy at which the blessed Angells stand amazed in which the blessed Saints shall sweetly rest themselves for ever All this and infinitely more than this thou art Lord in thy self thy Wisdom Justice Mercy Truth Power Holiness and whatsoever other Attributes thou art pleas'd to take unto thy Divine Essence are unto thee one although unto us divers and thou art therefore pleased diversly to manifest thy self unto us because we cannot otherwise conceive thy being than according to thine outward working thy distinct operations are unto us the divers Indications of thine eternall undivided and for ever blessed essence And now Lord who can see thee thus and live I have hitherto seen nothing but destruction to my body amazement to my soul In thine Essence there is light inaccessible unto which no mortall eye can approach in thine attributes terror unutterable from which no mortall man can escape Thy wisdom trying my corrupt heart and scoarching my sinfull reines Thy Justice most severe fearfull in the pronunciation dreadfull in the execution Thy truth admitteth of no alteration no Judgement pronounced but precisely fullfilled Heaven and Earth shall pass away but not one tittle of thy sacred word Thy Holiness is such that even the blessed Angells are impute in thy sight what then shall become of me a miserable wretch the thoughts of whose heart are only evill and that continually were it not for thy rich mercy I were lost for ever by this alone I am for ever reconcilâ—d unto thee and shall eternally be blessed with thee I can here with joy unspeakable and glorious behold thee my loving Father affectionately imbracing me in Christ from all eternity by the sweet working of thy holy Spirit this is that truly-blessed vision of the sacred and mysterious Trinity in this life of Grace that will for ever make me truly happy in that of Glory Lord if I find thee not Three in One to my soul's comfort in this life I shall never be found of thee to be blessed in thee in that to come Without thy Power it had not been decreed without thy Wisdom it had never been acted without thy Love it had never been sinished Here in a severe Judge I joyfully behold a mercifull Redeemer In a glorious Divinity a true Humanity united to the Deity not mixed with it Before I had three Persons in one Essence here I have two Natures in one Person God and Man one Christ in whom and by whom I have a joyfull interest and undoubted union in the Godhead Here is the Father promising the Son performing the Holy Spirit confirming This is alone that blessed sight of God that bringeth rest and quietness to my weary soul To know him to be my God to have suffered for my sin and risen again for my Justification To find him supporting sustaining me in my infirmaties relieving my wants chastising my errors revenging my wrongs repairing my breaches directing my wayes protecting my person wounding rending breaking my obdurate heart creating in me a clean heart and renewing a right Spirit within me bemoaning bewailing mine iniquities inviting nay compelling me to mercy and forgiveness Seeing now O my Soul that Gods being in himself is incomprehensible and his Love in Christ unutterable with what Filial fear shouldst thou think of him with what awfulness name him with what reverence and preparedness pray unto him with what heat of affection love him with what carefulness and conscience fear to offend him with what cheerfulness and holy diligence devote thy service to him Blessed Lord Seeing that I am utterly unable of my self to comprehend thee O let me be graciously comprehended of thee that corruption may be swallowed up of immortality and humane frailty of eternall glory As thou hast given me an understanding in part to know thee so give me also affections intirely to love thee and fixed
Lord WHen I call to mind how many daies have past me without bending of a knee how many nights I have gone prayerless to bed I may well wonder that I am this hour alive to speak unto thee I have been too unmindfull of thy holy providence and am therefore utterly unworthy of thy mercifull protection Few and full of evill have my dayes been in the house of my pilgrimage I know not how soon I may goe hence and yet I still live as if I knew not why I came hither I am many wayes invited to my heavenly home how sweetly doest thou wean from the miseries of life by the blessedness of death By this Evenings rest of my body I am put in mind of that eternall rest of my soul This dayes ending tells me that the end of all things is at hand that the fashion of this world passeth and that all things shall become new As this hour is the Evening to this day so this day for ought I know may be the Evening to my whole life I cannot challenge to my self one minute more how vain am I to promise dayes and years Lord in the whole current of thy Sacred Story I find but onely one that durst presume upon so large a reckoning and him thou brandest with the name of Fool Let his folly Lord be my instruction so shall I account each day my last and neither care to live nor fear to dye How many have been snacht out of this life how suddenly and to mans eye how fearfully How unspeakable is thy mercy unto me to spare me for repentonce how often and how earnestly hast thou invited me to mercy how coldly and how carelesly have I refused these thy gracious offers still I sin and still thou forgivest and which is the height of my impiety I therefore am more and more evill against thee because thou art more and more gracious unto me and it were now most just with thee even this very moment to put a period to my sinfull life Lord Let this teach me to improve the short remnant of my dayes to thy service and that I may endeavour so to doe I will prescribe my self these following rules Each evening shall take a strict account of that dayes traffique for my soul and where I find my self a loser I will labour for supply When I awake my first thoughts shall begin with thee from whom I have my first being Nothing will more truly represent me to my self than the first view of mine affections if my first thoughts be seasoned with grace my following actions will savour of goodness My care shall be more to dress my soul than to trim my body I will think no pains too great no ornaments too rich to make her beautifull One devout sigh from a contrite heart is of more worth in thy sight than an hours task of Lip-devotion My affections are the soul of my words without which I speak onely but pray not when my prayers are cold my hopes may well be comfortless My set hours for Devotion shall be constant no pretence of nature shall debar me of this happiness The Lovers eyes are often glancing on the pleasing object that delights him if my affections be sincere my looks will be amorous I shall often steal a sweet Ejaculation to satisfie the longing of my Love-sick soul When I can thus bring the day to an end my life will be comfortable my death happy and I may then say with holy David that I will lay me down in peace and take my rest for it is thou Lord onely that makest me dwel in safety Blessed Lord in the morning of my Creation thou gavest me unto my self in the evening of my Redemption thou gavest thy self unto me My Creation was wonderfull my Redemption astonishing As this dayes light is obscured for the rest of my body so wert thou the blefied and eternall Light for the rest of my soul Thou O blessed Saviour art my light to direct me my heat to comfort me my sweet and safe repose eternally to refresh me Gracious God With humble and dejected heart I ask forgiveness of the many failings of my sinfud life past recall my sinfull thoughts to my remembrance Lord as the burthen of them is intollerable so let my grief for them be unutterable Lord open mine eyes that I may see the foulnes and the filthiness of sin and apprebend the greatness of thy wrath against it Forgive those actuall sins which this dayes light hath witnessed Lord give me a godly sorrow for them a perfect batred against them a fixed and a constant resolution to forsake them Lord cleanse me from my secret and unknown sins and keep me for thy mercy sake that daring and presumptuous sins may never have dominion over me Make me a carefull Steward of that pretious time which thou haft given me withdraw my affections from the vain pleasures of this sinfull life and grant that all the dayes of my appointed time I may wait readily and chearfully untill my change shall come CHAP. 5. Upon our approaching unto Gods House Lord THere is no mortall man worthy to stand at thy door much less to appear in thy presence and yet how often have I presumed to approach unto thee without that preparedness of heart without that dejection of soul without that true and holy reverence that becometh thy child I am now going out of Egypt into Canaan out of Bondage into Freedom The sinfull troubles of this life are my souls Taskmasters to load it with a burthen insupportable and this is that place of sacrifise that Mount of God to ease and solace it Consider therefore O my soul in what relation thou now standest to thy God If thou art a true Israelite thou wilt look back upon thy drudgery and despise it and offer up thy self a living sacrifice with cheerfulness with thankfulness of heart If thou art Gods child thou wilt love to be in Gods house Long for Gods presence thirst for his favour delight in his Word and rejoyce to be often at his Table Thou wilt make it thy chiesest joy to be often in that place from whence thou mayst expect thy chiefest good Lord by thy grace assisting I will now uncloath my self of all earthly affections I will call to mind unto whose presence I approach and wherefore that I am going from this Church Militant to that Triumphant that thou Lord art as truly present here in Grace as there in Glory unless therefore I am in love with misery I will leave behind me all earthly-mindedness and carry with me a pure heart and heavenly thoughts a lowly mind and reverend gesture Lord if I go not cheerfully to thy Throne of Grace I may well fear I shall never go joyfully to that of Glory The lowest room in thy House shall content me Divine Worship admitteth not of disparity of persons we are all sinners and as we are in nature most impure in thy sight the
thy self for me and to me give me allso unfeigned repentance that I may heartily bewail the sinfulnesse of my life past that I may make a gratious improvement of my life present and faithfully perform the vows and promises which I make unto thee for the short remainder of my life to come O blessed and eternall Comforter of all those sinfull souls that put their trust in thee give me a sweet and full assurance of thy love in Christ withdraw my wretched heart from vanity inflame it with an earnest and affectionate desire to thee open mine eyes that I may see some glimps of thy celestiall joyes prepared for me make me often to think of them earnestly to long for them and readily and chearfully to part with all these earthly pleasures to enjoy them Lord make me able to encounter and withstand the strong assaults of Satan and this evill world give me thy saving grace and take from me what thou wilt without thy blessed presence all these outward joyes are wearinesse and emptinesse without thee even life it self is bitternesse unto me without thy love I ask it not of thee yea I rather beg thee Lord to take it from me that so I may be joyfully released from the bondage of a sinfull body that I may love thee with a pure and spotlesse soul that all mine imperfections may be done away that so I may securely dwell with thee in perfect holinesse and endlesse happinesse Amen CHAP. 18. Upon the sin of Uncleannesse with encouragements to avoid it COnsider O my Soul in what a blessed relation thou now standest to thy God thou hast lately grieved for thy sins and God hath allso gratiously accepted of thy sorrow and thou art now at peace and union with him his holy Spirit is thy Comforter his holy Providence thy Guide his holy Angels thy Guardians his holy Saints thine Assistants the Creatures without thee are at league and union with thee and thy Conscience within thee is a continuall feasâ— unto thee while thus thou continuest thy safety is inviolable thy joy unutterable thy peace unalterable Who can expresse the blessednesse of this condition how ravishing is this reviving presence of the gladding Spirit by which thou art sustained sweetly here by which thou shalt be joyfully refresht hereafter Wilt thou now lose all this O my Soul for this false this foul this momentany pleasure wilt thou lodge this beastly sin where thou now lodgest thy Redeemer Consider how vain it is how bitter it will be think how many sad thoughts how many aking hearts how many wounding sighs this fall of thine will cost thee what distempers of body what disturbance of soul what unquietnesse of sleep what checks of conscience what inward sadnesse in thy greatest merriment and which is worst of all what a fearfull apprehension of Gods wrath in this life and wofull expectation of judgement and suffering of extremity of pains in Hell for ever Let not the vain hope of Gods mercy flatter thee for while he is mercifull he will be just yea his mercy shall provoke his justice if his patience and long-suffering doe not lead thee into timely repentance his wrath and fury shall surely lead thee out to greater condemnation If custome perswade thee let custome allso reclame thee if thy flesh murmur thy spirit will rejoyce O how happy wilt thou find this opposition how glorious this victory even but one blessed thought of amendment is of more value than an age of sin Holy Saint Augustine who was wont to nourish his lascivious flesh and thought it then impossible to live without the lustfull kisses of his Roman Dames when once he had but relished the ravishing embraces of eternity brake forth into this sweet and most divine expression How truly sweet is the losse of this earthly sweetnesse those transitory joyes which I was formerly afraid to lose I now rejoyce to banish it was thou O Lord who didst thrust them out it is thou O Lord who art entred in who art sweeter than all sweetnesse c. Lord let this example move me to a blessed imitation of this blessed Saint to take heed of holding conference with Satan to labour to repell the very first motions to sin if I delight in his discourse I shall soon consent to his counsell if he feel me resist I shall find him give ground Lord let me remember what I fight for and follow my advantage with courage and successe that when my daies of warfare shall determine I may say with joy and comfort with thy blessed Apostle I have fought a good fight I have kept the faith I have finished my course from henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousnesse which the Lord the righteous Judge shall give me at that day and not unto me onely but unto all those that love and expect the day of his appearing 2 Tim. 4.7 8. Lord Thou hast often seen the weaknesse of thy sinfull servant how willingly how wretchedly I have been yeelding to the false allurements of my sinfull flesh how basely I have given ground even upon the very first assault without desire of resistance without care of repentance I have hitherto been so far from sorrowing for this sin that I have much delighted in it and often grieved thee my God in framing of excuses for it Blessed God how rich is that peace which I enjoy by thee how glorious that hope which I possesse in thee how wonderfull that mercy I obtain from thee and yet how carelesly how coldly have I parted from thee Lord forgive what is past restrain what is present prevent what is to come O let me enjoy no sweetnesse but in thee who art nearer to me than I can be to my self who art sweeter to me than the sweetnesse of these earthly pleasures O give me such a blessed frame of heart such Angel-like integrity of soul that my thoughts may be chast my desires holy my words gratious my actions good Give me a double portion of thy blessed Spirit that I may double my obedience to thy sweet commands that I may tast the comforts of thy heavenly joyes and utterly abhor the false allurements of this sinfull world Let the sweet showers of thy distilling graces allay these motions of concupiscence extinguish these devouring flames of lust that I may constantly and happily oppose this darling sin to my last hour and joyfully triumph with thee for ever Amen CHAP. I. Upon immoderate Mirth and the sinfull inconveniencies thereof Lord IF I were this day to dye If thou shouldest now say unto me Give an account of thy Stewardship for thou shalt be no longer St ward if mine Audit were at this instant to be given up and all mine actions this present hour to be accountâ—d for how sadly should I look upon that lost time which hath been spent in sin how many vain Items must needs appear to my deserved shame and ondless forrow So many minutes wasted in
subordinate to this sweetness Christian liberty may be easily mistaken and become licentious wickedness there is often-times most danger in those things which seem most necessary if not used with moderation And now Lord having seriously considered what time is and wherefore I admire the folly and lament the misery of all those whose onely aim is to mis-spend it My dayes are few and full of evil O let my greatest care be to husband my time well I have much business and great to dispatch and I know not whether this dayes lâ—ght may be my last Mine eternity of joy or sorrow hath its dependance on this short moment If I think upon it seriously I shall grudge to spend one minute vainly Lord there is no distinction of time with thee one day with thee is as a thousand years and a thousand years as one day O let me seriously consider that with me there is that I must work while it is called to day that mine houres are swift and short that the night of death cometh when I cannot work that the end of all things cometh when time shall be no more By thy grace therefore I will piously devote the remnant of my life to holy duties so shall mine age of sin be nothing in thy sight and one day well spent in thy remembrance as a thousand years Blessed Lord Wilt thou accept of such a sinfull creature as I am to appear before thee to approach unto thee to sue to thee for mercy How bold am I to look up unto thee with these adulterous eyes that have so long been gazing on these earthly joyes how much presuming on thy mercy to implore thee with that tongue that hath so much provoked thy displeasure how impudent to offer that disloyall heart unto thee that hath so fast been wedded to this sinfull world Lord when mine own wretchedness had brought thy gracious visitation on me when thy hand pressed me sore when thine arrows stuck fast in me and the venome of them drank up my spirits when my heart was in hcaviness and my soul in bitterness when my life was drawing near unto the grave when mine own conscience pleaded powerfully against me and the terrors of a second death were ready to devour me I then earnestly implored thee for mercy and thou freely forgavest me I then begged my life of thee that I might thankfully devote the remnant of my life unto thee Ah Lord how wretchedly hath mine own heart deceived me what serious vows and faithfull promises did I then make unto thee and yet how carelesly how foolishly am I departed from thee how vainly have I trifled out that precious time which thou hast given me how justly mayst thou now deprive me of this wretched life by which I have so much dishonored thee And now Lord when I have even wearied out my self in wickedness when my soul is overcharged with sin and my heart with sorrow when the vanity of this life is ready to forsake me and there is nothing left but misery and shame to seize upon me I have not yet resolved seriously to come unto thee Lord leave me not unto the weaknesse of mine own infirmities expose mee not unto the raging hillowes of these strong temptations suffer me not to sink into this depth of sin to be destroyed by this dreadful storm of Satan and mine own accusing conscience rebuke these windes and waves and cause a blessed calm within me reach out thy hand of mercy and support me strengthen my drooping soul that I may joyfully and faithfully lay hold upon thee give me a fixed heart that I may seriously return unto thee and may this hour be graciously accepted of thee Lord wean me from the false imbraces of this evill world turn all these sinfull joyes to bitterness unto mee make me to see their foulnesse and deformity their emptinesse and vanity their shortness and uncertainty their falshood and flattery their wearinesse and misery O let my heart be filled let my soul be ravished with those transcendent joyes of thine which are for ever give me a joyfull soul to rest securely in them a ready heart devoutly thankfull for them Lord moderate my desires to outward injoyments let me rellish no sweetnesse but in thy love no goodnesse but in thy grace no comfort but in the full assurance of thy glory Forgive those wretched houres which have been stoln from thy service O Lord my God I heartily bewail them and willingly resolve to spend my days in sorrow for them Make me more watchfull over my corrupt heart more carefull of my precious time more serious in the weighty work of my salvation more sorrowfull for sin more mindfull of the hour of death and day of judgejudgement That so I may affect the pleasures of this life soberly enjoy them sparingly and leave them cheerfully Amen CHAP. 20. Upon the great danger of deferring the hour of repentance COnsider O my Soul of the great danger of delaying thy repentance of judging that so easy which will prove so difficult of thinking that allmost finisht which is scarce yet begun Believest thou it will suffice thee to have some transitory thoughts of thine amendment to have perhaps some pinching sighs some stings of conscience some shews of sorrow for thy sins to hang down thy head like a bulrush for a day and yet afterwards to return with the dog to thy filthy vomit and with the sow to the wallowing in the nasty mire of sin While thou continuest in this course thy hopes of amendment are extreme doubtfull of reconciliation dangerous of repentance desperate If ever thou hopest to inherit heaven let not Satan thus delude thee look well into thine evill and corrupt heart and thou shalt there find that this is not the cure but the discase of sin that thou grievest not for thine offence but for thy punishment that thou mayst yet go much farther in this supposed path of thy repentance and still be far short of that sincerity of heart which God requireth of thee and yet have no part nor fellowship in Christ Thou mayst with Saul express thy sorrow with thy tears with those Beleevers in the Gospel receive the word with joy with Demas shew thine inward grace by thine outward obedience and in some sort be made partaker of the Holy Ghost and have a tast of the good things of the world to come and yet for all this come far short of this unfeigned work of true repentance Alass what can it profit thee to bewail that sin which thou wilt not forgo what reward canst thou expect for that obedience which so soon fainteth what comfort in that joy which is but temporary Remember how great a work thou hast in hand how many millions of lost souls complain eternally in hell of this neglect O look into the foulness of thy sin and then into the trueness of thy sorrow If thou art Gods child thou wilt be grieved for offending of so good
the triall of my courage of my Christianity if I overcome I shall rejoyce on earth triumph in heaven If that evill one were as powerfull as malicious I had just cause to fear him but now my comfort and assurance is that he cannot hurt me but by me He now strongly labours to encline my will and wo were me if he might compell it his subtile suggestions his unclean solicitations his fulminated motions may be the father begetting but mine own corrupt heart is the mother conceiving there can be no danger from abroad if there be no treason at home Look well into thy self therefore O my soul ascend the Watch tower of thine understanding and see that there lurk therein no seeming shews no specious pretences no gross lies no false proposals to betray thee if thy head be surprised thy heart cannot long hold out Examine thine affections try them by the blessed rule of divine precepts if they be not sharply corrected they will soon be corrupted endeavour to resist the very first motions to sin for if Satan can beguile thine affections he will undoubtedly command thine actions Quicken thy memory by the momentany pleasure of sin by the heavy judgements threatned against it by the sad consequences of it by the eternity of torments after it Think how often thou hast been allready foyled how many serious vows and faithfull promises thou hast allready made to God of thine amendment how carelesly thou hast dispensed with them all and how presumptuously persisted in thy follies O think how gracious thy God hath been unto thee in forbearing how wonderfull his mercy is in pardoning how justly he might now destroy thee even in the very act of sinning Lord if none of all this will yet scare me from sinning against thee nor allure me to repenting that I may draw nearer home unto thee O let me yet confider who it is that leadeth me to fight and wherefore I have engaged Thou O my blessed Saviour art my Captain and Heaven is my Country Shall I now lose those rivers of eternall pleasures for this short this false this momentany joy shall I run from thee who art the Prince of Peace and who hast spilt thy pretious blood for me unto that cruel enemy of Mankind who hath drawn so much blood from me Shall I forsake thee who hast layd down thy life for me and inslave my self to him who every minute seeketh to devour me Shall I dishonor thee my God grieve thine holy Angels shame my profession wound mine own conscience terrifie mine own soul seek mine own ruin If I consent to this temptation that God whom I dishonour will abhor me those blessed Angels whom I grieve will forsake me those cursed spirits whom I obey will deride me that conscience which I now wound will accuse me that glorious Gospel which I shame will condemn me and that ruin which I now seek will for ever seize upon me Let this move thee O my soul as thou exspectest happiness to take up a blessed resolution of resistance If the assault dismay thee let the conquest encourage thee if the beginning be sharp the close will be sweet if nature be dejected grace will be strengthened and as grace increaseth here so shall glory hereafter Consider last of all what Saint James saith and fix it in thy thoughts as chief of all Blessed is the man that endureth temptation for when he is tryed he shall receive the crown of life which the Lord hath promised to them that love him Jam. 1.12 Thrice happy is that soul which is faithfull in Gods service although it may often faint it shall never fail it may sometimes be foyled but shall never be overcome it shall never fall totally it can never fall finally for thou Lord upholdest it and in thy love it is sure of safety here of triumph hereafter Blessed God With grief of heart I willingly confess that I have shamefully dishonored thy great and glorious name by mine often failings by my many faintings and more wretched yeeldings to the shame of my profession the grief of thy good Spirit and the terror of my frail condition Lord how wretched is my soul without thee and yet how easily how willingly am I enticed from thee even at this instant I am ready to forsake thee and may most justly fear to be forsaken of thee The world allureth me the flesh besotteth me the devill beguileth me and mine own false heart deceiveth me and is now ready to rebell against me O wretched man that I am who shall deliver me Lord Jesus assist me and let thy saving grace be now and evermore sufficient for me Lord rebuke these evill thoughts relieve my miserie support my weakness strengthen my willingness give me an undaunted courage in thy service an unfeigned sorrow for my former failings and constancy of heart against present suggestions and future temptations that I may find no sweetness but in thy love no pleasure but in thy service no profit but in thy rewards Amen CHAP. 26. Upon the Infirmities of the Saints Lord WIth grief of heart I confess that I find a Law in my members rebelling against the Law of my mind and leading me captive to the Law of fin so that those things which I would do I cannot and I dayly and hourly do those things which I would not yet my comfort is that I make not provision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts thereof By the weakness of mine own corruptions I often fall into sin but by the blessed assistance of thy grace I abhor to lie there sin oftentimes surpriseth me but by thy rich mercy hath never yet reigned over me It hath often deceived me but I trust shall never destroy me It hath pleased thee O my blessed Saviour to conclude all things under sin that thy grace may abound while I strive against it and am afflicted for it my sinfull desires will I trust be graciously accepted and in thy perfect obedience gloriously rewarded Be not dismayed therefore O my soul that thou sometimes art ravished with apprehension of thy heavenly joyes and suddenly relapsed to the follies of a wretched heart the one thou happily enjoyest by the sweet assistance of the heavenly Spirit the other thou violently sufferest by the strong torrent of my sinfull nature Lord such is thy great wisdom and inconceivable goodness towards me that oftentimes thou leavest me unto my self and therefore sufferest me to fall and that most grievously sometimes that I may see mine own infirmities and be truly humbled for them that I may impute nothing to mine own merits but give all the glory to thy sufferings that I may goe out of my self and mine own misery into the sweet enjoyment of thy rich and endlesse mercy Consider therefore O my soul that so long as thou continuest in this valley of tears thou canst not live without this burthen of sin so long as thou carriest this frail body about thee continuing weaknesses
labour to be powerfull in my prayers to study to be humble zealous earnest even importunate in my devotions to let no sinfull thought pass me without a sigh no sinfull action without holy contrition no divine favours without devout and thankfull acknowledgement That soul which is truly sensible of the burden of sin will hasten unto that heavenly help that can give it ease and that heart which is once truly inflamed with thy love will readily instruct â—he tongue to be zealous in thy praise Lord let me first seek mine own heart before I presume to come before thy Mercy seat lest if I recall it not from the vanities of this life my very prayers become sin and so while I expect a blessing I deserve a curse Let no vain excuse no barren pretence of this life perswade me to intermit this holy duty lest carelesness and coldness in devotion beget in me a loathing of that course which by constant practice will become my constant comfort I ord make me to consider of the sweetness of the excellency of this gift that I may dayly labour to improve it to my soules eternall happiness That when I often fall as I needs must through the weakness of the flesh thou O Lord in mercy mayst restore me through my blessed importunity of spirit With grief of heart Lord I confess that my great neglect of this holy duty hath most justly occasioned the great abatement of thy holy Spirit in me and long withholdings of thine outward blessings from me Lord give me yet an heart to serve thee and then take from me what thou wilt I desire nothing with out thee for I know assuredily that with thee I cannot but enjoy all things needfull for me O make me to bewail mine own unworthiness my drownsiness my dulness my carelesness my much untowardness in thy service Create in me a clean heart O Lord and renew a right spirit within me that I may praise thee with alacrity and fervency of soul that I may be daily ravished with contemplation of eternity and hourly satisfie my thoughts with apprehension of the sweetness of my present safety of my future glory Lord make me every day more earnest in this holy duty O give me such affectionate desires such holy longings such insatiate appetites such earnest importunities of heart for heavenly graces that I may not onely beg of thee but even wrestle with thee for this blessing although the sinfull desires of my corrupt flesh go halting to the grave Be mercifull unto me O Lord for my soul trusteth in thee and in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge untill these calamities of sins and miseries be overpast Lord hear the voice of my humble petitions when I cry unto thee when I hold up my hands towards thy Mercy seat shew thy servant the light of thy countenance and save me for thy mercy sake Ps 28.2 Ps 31.18 CHAP. 31. Upon the great neglect of Reading the sacred Scriptures ALass my soul how unbeseeming thy profession is this thy backwardness to holy duties how long wilt thou grovell on this element of earth how long be cheated with these counterfeit commodities these childish toys of outward enjoyments what sweetness canst thou find in those things which favour of corruption what comfort in those joyes which are but vain vexatious toylsom transitory whose seeming beauties are suddenly passing never returning O let this move thee to delight in that which cannot pass to remember whence thou art and whether thou art going that thou mayst thereby raise thy thoughts to immortality Look upon the beauty of those sacred leaves and thou wilt loath the falshood of this worlds embraces Thou mayst there find the sum of all that was or is or is to come conducing to thy reall happiness There is nature unbowelled hell opened and heaven unveiled Thou mayst there see the creature to be vanity thy self misery thy Saviour felicity Thou hast there his counsell to guide thee his wisdom to instruct thee his power to sustein thee his gifts to encourage thee his threatnings to admonish thee his mercies to allure thee his judgements to deter thee his holy Spirit to comfort thee There is antiquitie strangeness truth in history wonder in miracles amazement in prophecie foundness in precepts sweetness in promises each sillable contained in this Book is matter of eternall moment Take heed therefore that thou passest by no portion of thâ—s sacred volume lightly nor pryest into any presumptuously holy diligence is often blest with heavenly knowledge and humble ignorance with heavenly grace Lord seeing that thy word is in it self so excellently rich and in its use so absolutely good with what earnestnâ—ss of soul ought I to embrace it with what holy diligence peruse it with what devout cheerfulness and constancy of heart apply my self unto it These high perfectiâ—â—s shall religiously oblige me to repair my former neglects by my present promises of my future performances No day shall henceforth pass me without some time alotted for this holy exercise custoâ— will make it easie profit sweet if the troublesom affairs of this lise do sometimes to my soul grief distuâ—b me in it by thy grace assisting they shall never divert me from it what is borrowed from this blessed task by inforced necessity shall be repayed with advantage by the next happy opportunity Lord all is but vanity and meer nothing in compare of thee and thy service If I cannot be willingly holy I shall never be joyfully happy Blessed Lord So sanctifie my sinfull soul that I may joyfully perform those promises I make unto thee that I may daily dedicate some part and portion of my sinfull houres to read some portion of thy sacred Scriptures O let them ever be the joy of my joy the life of my life the light of mine eyes and comfort of my heart Lord turn away mine eyes from these outward enjoyments lest they behold vanity and quicken me in thy way Give me an humble soul that I may read thy blessed lines with holy fear and awfull reverence that I may be piously delighted with them and happily instructed by them Give me a discerning soul that I may see the wonderfull things of thy law that I may truly love it and delight in it that my heart may be inflamed by it and my tongue be ever talking of it O let thy Statutes be my song in the house of my pilgrimage that I may walk in thy wayes with constancy that I may run in thy race with fervency Amen CHAP. 32. Upon the neglect of Divine Meditation WHat doest thou here on earth O my soul why art thou so perplexed with the cares and sorrows of this sinfull life so careless of the joyes in that to come Who can judge him likely to inherit Heaven that loves not to think of it Thou mayst measure thy degrees of Grace by thy desires of Glory If thy thoughts be not often and earnestly taken up
thee Lord as this holy motion came from thy heavenly Spirit so enable me to the performance of it by thy grace to thy glory and my soules eternall comfort I vow my self a serious and professed enemy to all ungodlinesse no sinfull thought shall surprise me without a sorrowfull sigh no ungracious word pass me without a sudden retractation and devout confession no wicked action defile me without a sincere and godly humiliation unto each measure of sin I will allow a due measure of sorrow those sins that have been reigning over me shall at set houres be constantly revenged by me and as my body hath been a deep sharer in my sinnes so it shall allso be a dayly sharer in my sufferings I will at set seasons deny my self somewhat of these outward enjoyments which thou Lord in mercy hast allowed me as a true sign of my true sorrow for that sinfull excess which I have too often taken without thine allowance Those sinfull houres which have been vainly lost in idlenesse and emptinesse shall be willingly redeemed in a constant observation of religious duties no day shall passe me without a solemn and devout task of devotion no hour without some sweet ejaculation And when at any time the troubles and disturbances of this frail life shall deny me happy opportunities for these heavenly performances what is wanting in act shall be made up in desire which thou Lord I trust wi lt graciously accept and look upon as done because faithfully intended O thou infinitely wise and for ever blessed being that art truly and eternally happy without the sinfull service of thy creature and yet commandest us to serve thee for our own sakes that we allso may be happy in thee thou that lovest not a false and fickle heart nor delightest in the sacrifise of fooles give me a wise and understanding heart that I may seriously consider of this sacred Vow give me a constant and religious heart that I may chearfully perform what I have faithfully promised give me a broken and a contrite heart that I may bitterly bewail what I have foolishly neglected that thy great name may be glorified my sinfull life amended my conscience quieted my spirit comforted thy Saints delighted thine Angels rejoyced and my soul and body eternally saved in the great and dreadfull day of the Lord Jesus to whom with thee O blessed Father and thine holy Spirit be all possible praise and honour and glory now and for ever Amen CHAP. 40. Upon the blessed condition of Gods Saints with motives and encouragements unto Godliness Lord To close up these imperfect lines as I began with that beauty of holinesse which thou thy self art and is essentially contained in thee so my soules desire is to end with that blessednesse which we thy Saints enjoy even in this vale of misery and is eternally derived from thee that so I may begin and end with thee who art the beginning and end of thy creature that I may lead thy servants from the pure fountain of true holinesse to the sweet streames of inward happinesse wherein we may securely bath our weary soules in rest and quietnesse untill thy gracious goodnesse shall conduct us home unto the full fruition of those joyfull rivers of thine endlesle pleasure I am no sooner entred upon this blessed search but I find my soul ravished with admiration at the greatnesse with apprehension of the goodnesse with contemplation of the freenesse of thy love and favour towards me I see thee the great and glorious God of heaven and earth from all eternity out of thine own gracious goodnesse without all possibility in me when I was not either of desiring or deserving this inestimable love of thine electing me in Christ of whom thou hadst no need from whom thou couldst receive no benefit unto holynesse and happinesse in this life and unto blefsednesse in that to come and as I find this love of thine to be purely simply admirably and eternally great so is it also truly necessarily sufficiently and permanently good If it were not truly good it could never make me truly happy if not necessarily good I might then enjoy happinesse without it if not sufficiently good my happinesse enjoyed by it could not afford me satisfaction in it if not permanently good what I enjoy in satisfaction I may want in perfection by being suddainly removed from it But thou O Lord hast graciously afforded me all these degrees of happinesse that I might be truly and eternally happy that I might be happy in thee because there is no attainining happinesse but by thee that I may be happy in soul and happy in body happy in life and happy in death happy here and happy hereafter Thou O my blessed Saviour art sweeter unto me than all sweetnesse thou art that blessed All-sufficiency by which I am both fully and for ever satisfied thou art my safe repose my inviolable peace my rich rest my safety in life my comfort in death my glory after death By thy patient sufferings I am more than conqueror of sin of sorrow of death of hell by thy glorious resurrection I have assured hope of immortality by thy blessed ascention of eternall glory by the one thou hast powerfully defended me against the rage and malice of devils by the other thou hast graciously exalted me in thy blessed union with me above the nature of Angels thy peace thou hast left with me thy peace thou hast given unto me even that blessed peace of conscience which the world cannot take from me and that eternity of peace with thee in thy Kingdom which thou Lord in thy rich mercy hast prepared for me O that I might now lose my self with contemplation of thine endlesse love that I might be ravished into extasie with apprehension of my present safety of my future glory that all my faculties of soul might be but one entire and pleasing sacrifise of thankfulnesse unto thee that as thou O my Saviour and the Father are one so I may be one with thee to magnifie thy gracious presence here and to be for ever where thou art hereafter to see thy great glory and enjoy mine own end lesse felicity From this for ever blessed fountain of eternall happiness doe plentifully flow those pleasant streams of comfort to the souls and bodies of the Saints even in this life by which they are securely quieted and joyfully contented even in the very worst of times which either mans malice or the Devils cruelty can study to inflict upon them if they receive injuries they return prayers they entertain them with a Father forgive them for they know not what they doe Luk. 23.34 and Lord lay not this sin to their charge Act. 7.60 And so while they lose outwardly they gain inwardly godliness is great gain for by patience they possess their own souls Their courage is undaunted for The righteous is hold as a Lion able to encounter the fiercest affliction ready to withstand the strongest
that as our sins have provoked thee to anger so our tears may move thee to compassion that thy mercy may be magnified our miseries relieved our sorrows comforted O let not these bitter aggravations of thy judgements extort from us the least measure of impatience nor beget in us the least degree of distrust let us neither complain of thy justice nor despair of thy mercy but quietly and thankfully rely upon thee and in thy blessed hour enjoy a sweet inlargement by thee Lord pity the forlorn condition of thy sons and daughters in affliction repair their outward losses by thine inward graces that what is wanting to them of these earthly comforts may be abundantly supplied in thy heavenly joyes Forgive the great disturbers of the peace of this thy Sion Lord open their eyes that they may see how much they have erred from thy waies Lord sanctifie their hearts that they may speedily return unto thee and be for ever gratiously accepted of thee O that thou wouldst give us one heart and one voyce that we might serve thee without ceasing that we may be all truly humbled before thee and truly joyfull in thee Restore me for thy rich mercy sake unto that blessed union of Love which is the bond of Peace that as thou our God art one so thy distressed Church may be one thy divided people one their wishes and desires their prayers and tears their actions and endeavours one for thy glory the Churches safety and the Nations happiness That we may have peace with thee our God peace with our enemies peace with our own souls and everlasting peace with thee in thy Kingdome Amen A comfortable PRAYER to bee used at the point of death by the Visitors of the Sick O Eternall Almighty most mercifull and for ever blessed Lord God of Heaven and Earth wee thy poor and most unworthy creatures miserable and distressed sinners in all humility of heart and dejectedness of spirit are here prostrate before thee Lord we confesse that we are utterly unworthy to approach thy glorious presence Blessed God we are confounded and ashamed to lift up our sinfull eyes unto thee whose gracious goodnesse we have so much neglected whose patience and long-suffering so long abused whose anger and indignation so justly provoked whose wrath and fury so wretchedly deserved Lord we are heavy laden with the burden of our sinnes and thou alone art able to relieve us to thee therefore we addresse our sinfull souls for mercy and forgivenesse O thou that art the blessed Shepheard of our erring soules that camest into the World to seek and to save those that are lost have mercy upon us O thou that hast espoused us unto thy self and hast given us thy love have mercy upon us O thou that callest us to come unto thee and embracest us when we are come receive our prayers Lord give us prepared hearts to meet thee in this holy duty Quicken our benummed soules with holy fervencie that our devotions may ascend unto thy gracious presence Lord thou hast promised to be near unto all those which call upon thee with sincerity and faithfulnesse of heart for thy blessed promise sake we most humbly beseech thee let our humiliations be comfortable our prayers acceptable In full assurance of the sweetnesse of thy mercy towards us wee are now bold to become Petitioners unto thee for this thy sick servant whose life is drawing near unto the grave Blessâ—d Lord God it is thou that killest and makest alive that bringest down to hell and raisest up again we most meekly beseech thee therefore for thy rich and tender love sake to thine Elect to mitigate that bitter curse which thou hast layd upon us all in Adam Lord look upon his affliction and his travail and forgive him all his sinnes give him sure patience to endure with meekness whatsoever thou art pleased to inflict upon him Lord lay no more upon his feeble body than thou shalt make him able for to bear impose no more upon his wounded spirit than thou in mercy shalt support him under Forsake him not O Lord our God be not thou far from him let him remember that this chastisement of thine is common to thy dearest children that thou hidest thy face from him but for a small moment but with everlasting kindnesse thou wilt have mercy on him Lord settle and compose his thoughts for thy Kingdom let no disturbance of this life distract those blessed meditations which invite the weary soul to rest and quietnesse let him now see and joyfully beleeve that thou wilt order all these outward things to thine own glory and the good of those that have relation to him let him freely forgive all injuries on earth and heartily desire to meet his greatest enemies in heaven O let his soul be now transported with the sweetnesse of thy love and favour towards him Lord qualifie this bitter potion which thy holy providence hath alotted to him let him now remember that the sufferings of this present life are not worthy of that glory which shall be suddainly revealed in him and when the outward man is drawing nearest to its dissolution Lord Jesus strengthen and rejoyce the inward man with comfort and assured confidence of thy salvation To this end O Lord we most humbly beseech thee to illuminate his understanding that he may see the sadnesse of his own condition in himself that â—he may deny and utterly abhor himself that he may disclame all sinfull confidence in his own actions and endeavours and wholly cast himself upon the righteousnesse of him in whom alone thy wrath is fully satisfied Lord give him a serious and a true remorse of conscience for his many and his great offences Lord Jesus grant that they may not now appear unto the terror and amazement of his sinfull soul O let him now remember that it is thy precious blood which purgeth him from all iniquitie that thou O blessed Saviour art become unto him righteousnesse and holinesse and sanctification and redemption Lord comfort and assist him in this last and greatest tryall of his faith And because the sensible decay of his infirm body and the violent disturbance of his sicknesse will not suffer him to call upon thee with digestednesse of mind and quietnesse of spirit we therefore humbly pray thee to sustein and comfort him even in his greatest weaknesse and extremity Blessed God let the sorrowfull sighing of thy sick prisoner now come before thee O let thy blessed Spirit which is in him put up humble supplications to the Father for him O satisfie him with thy mercy and that soon Let those happy sighs and groans which cannot be expressed become a pleasing sacrifise of thankfulnesse to thee and a sweet savour of eternall rest to his departing soul O thou that art the God of power protect him from the fury of that roaring Lion who is now seeking to devour him O thou that art the blessed Saviour of the sinfull world compassionate his
frailties commiserate his infirmities forgive his iniquities Lord purge him by thy pretious blood cloath him with thine own righteousnesse inrich him with thy blessed merits and plead them to thy Father for him O thou holy and for ever blessed Spirit who art the pure fountain of eternall love be present with him relieve and comfort him in all these bitter pangs of his last hour indue him with a willingnesse and cheerfulnesse to leave this transitory life and crown him with eternity of joyes in that to come And now O Lord we come unto thee for our selves who are here at this time upon our sinfull knees before thee Lord open our eyes that we may seriously consider of that last and solemn hour of our departure Lord sanctifie our hearts that while we are encompassed with sinfull flesh we may lament our often failings and infirmities and every day be more and more desirous to goe home to thee who art the God of spirits Lord give us grace that we may walk soberly and righteously and holily as becometh thy children that at the resurrection of the just our soules and bodies may enjoy the blessed consummation of their endlesse happinesse Lord hear our prayers and let our cries come unto thee for thy name sake for thy promise sake for thy blessed Sons sake Amen The Conclusion BLessed Lord God by whose onely mercy I have finished this imperfect Work as I began it by thy goodnesse so I desire to end it with thy praise Lord accept of it and graciously afford thy blessing to it Let not the weaknesse and the sinfulnesse of me the Instrument be the Readers discouragement but give glory and honour to thee the Agent for of thee and through thee and to thee are all things to thee be praise for ever Amen SOLI DEO GLORIA For the comfort and assistance of those that are ready to depart this life I have hereunto added the dying Confession of Mr. Anthâ—ny Sadler Minister of Gods Word at West-Thorock in Essex of which I was an Ear-witness Obiit vicesimo die Maii Anno 1643. THE Lord hath laid a gratious and a gentle visitation on me I doe acknowledge with a thankfull heart that this weakness of body this languishing of nature these painfull daies and nights are from him For misery cometh not out of the dust neither doth affliction spring out of the earth Job 5.6 Ah my friends little doe men think how much the great disturbances of sickness how much he pains and infirm ties of a dec ying body distract those blessed thoughts those sweet and happy meditations which the troubled soul desires The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak Lord Jesus strengthen the inward man and lay no more upon this sinfull bâ—dy than thou in mercy shalt enable it to bear I am now verily perswaded that God hath purposed to determine my daies his blessed will be done even so Lord Jesus come quickly He that looketh into his life past that ransaketh his soul and calleth to minde the sinfull failings of his youth will finde it very hard and difficult to make his calling and election sure I have earnestly desired to leave no corner of my soul unsearcht and I finde my self to be a very great and wretched sinner I have committed grievous sinnes very grievous sinnes such sinnes as are not fit to be named before God's Saints I have examined my soul by each particular Commandment and I finde my self guilty of the breach of all and that in an high manner especially considering that weighty Function God's providence hath called me unto I have not onely sinned against mine own soul but against the soules of others too whom I have corrupted by my ill example and that very often And now when I look upon the glasse of the Law and there see mine owne vildnesse I finde Gods justice and mine own deserts even ready to surprise and cast me down into the nethermost hell and that most righteously But O see the goodnesse of a gratious God! I now come to lay hold upon the promises but how not without repentance not presumingly I apply them not in a generall but particular way I doe not onely believe that Christ Jesus came iâ— to the World to save sinners but I believe allso that he died for my sinnes and rose again for my justification God hath promised and all his promises are Yea and Amen that he will not forsake those which trust in him nay he hath bound himself unto it by an oath by two immutable things which cannot fail his Truth and his Holinesse Heb. 6.18 and God hath said That he which confesseth and forsaketh his sinnes shall finde mercy 1 Joh. 1.9 I acknowledge them I confesse them I am grieved for them I forsake them I abhorre themwhat should I doe more God requireth not more of me These pauses were supplied with tears and yet for all this I cannot find my self assured of his favour methinkes this sorrow is not so hearty as it ought to be and yet I know and stedfastly believe that if God did not work with me this sorrow could not be and where he worketh there can be nothing wanting I know that the most righteous man alive cannot perform this work so perfectly as he ought and therefore I believe that he which is ascended up on high hath done it for me in that full and ample manner which is able to appease his Father's wrath and I now trust that by his perfect obedience this imperfect worke of mine shall find a gratious acceptation This is my hope and this my beliefe Nay I can goe yet a little further to strengthen my assurance that my peace is made with God I every day and every houre doe pray unto my Saviour to intercede his Father for me and if I implore him he will intercede his Father and if he intercede his Father he cannot be denied O my God impute my sinnes to him transferre his righteousnesse to me and then I know I shall appear a glorious soul before thee Amen FINIS THE CONTENTS CHAP. 1. UPon the sinfulnesse of our thoughts touching the sacred Deity with holy cautions to order our devotions aright pag. 2. CHAP. 2. Upon the consideration of God's love and man's unthankfulnesse A Meditation suited to the morning pag. 9 CHAP. 3. Upon the consideration of Divine Providence A Meditation for noon pag. 14 CHAP. 4. Upon the consideration of the sinfulnesse shortnesse and uncertainâ—y of life A Meditation suited to the evening pag. 17 CHAP. 5. Upon our approaching unto God's House with necessary cautions for our behaviour there pag. 20 CHAP. 6. Upon our returning from God's House and the neglect of private duties pag. 24 CHAP. 7. Upon the want of due preparation for Receiving of the Lord's Supper pag. 27 CHAP. 8. Containing pious Ejaculations at the time of Receiving pag. 30 CHAP. 9. Containing a brief Meditation and pious Thanksgiving after our Receiving pag. 31 CHAP. 10. Upon a Journey undertaken and the many dangers incident thereunto pag. 32 CHAP. 11. Containing pious Meditations and zealous Ejaculations after a Journey pag. 34 CHAP. 12. Upon the great danger of Security pag. 37 CHAP. 13. Upon the great danger of Prosumption pag. 41 CHAP. 14. Upon quenching of the motions of God's holy Spirit pag. 47 CHAP. 15. Upon the consideration of God's peculiar Providence to his Children pag. 51 CHAP. 16. Upon sinfull Anger and the great disturbance thereof pag. 55 CHAP. 17. Upon Man's inordinate love to the Creature pag. 58 CHAP. 18. Upon the sin of Uncleaness with Incouragements to avoid it pag. 63 CHAP. 19. Upon immoderate Mirth and the great Inconveniencies thereof pag. 67 CHAP. 20. Upon the great danger of deferring the hour of Repentance pag. 75 CHAP. 21. Upon Servile Fear and the danger thereof pag. 79 CHAP. 22. Upon the great neglect of reckoning daily with our Thoughts and the benefits lost thereby pag. 84 CHAP. 23. Upon Unchristian-like Dulnesse in Affliction pag. 87 CHAP. 24. Upon uncheerfulnesse in Christianitie with Incouragements to avoyd it pag. 91 CHAP. 25. Upon mans sinfull frailty in the hour of Temptation with Motives to make resistance pag. 94 CHAP. 26. Upon the Infirmitie of the Saints pag. 97 CHAP. 27. Upon Desertion pag. 101 CHAP. 28. Upon sudden danger pag. 106 CHAP. 29. Upon the weaknesse of Faith and sinfulnesse of Thoughts tending to Despair pag. 107 CHAP. 30. Upon the great Neglect of the duty of Prayer pag. 111 CHAP. 31. Upon the great neglect of Reading the sacred Scriptures pag. 114 CHAP. 32. Upon the neglect of Divine Meditation pag. 117 CHAP. 33. Upon Unchristian-like Dejectedness in Poverty pag. 119 CHAP. 34. Upon Sickness and ungodly repining thereat pag. 122 CHAP. 35. Upon the misery of Life and blessednesse of Death pag. 126 CHAP. 36. Upon the great neglect of opportunities in doing good to the Saints pag. 131 CHAP. 37. Upon the deceitfulnesse of the heart in the performance of holy duties pag. 135 CHAP. 38. Upon the unrulinesse of the Tongue with necessary cautions to restrain it pag. 140 CHAP. 39. Upon holy revenge for sin with motives and incouragements thereunto pag. 144 CHAP. 40. Upon the blessed condition of the Saints with motives and encouragements unto Godlinesse pag. 147 A comfortable Prayer to be used at the point of Death by the Visitors of the Sick pag. 157 FINIS
depraved nature this sin had doubtless been a sad memoriall to my grave such is the power of sin once grown habituall O let my sorrowfull confession be the readers usefull instruction that thou mayst have the glory I the shame of my mis-doing Lord I have often sinned against thee by my wretched violation of the truth in envious detractions from the good of my neighbour vain-glorious aggravations of mine own abilities censorious taxations of my brethrens infirmities indulgent diminutions of mine own iniquities I have often grieved thy good Spirit by which thou hast sealed me up unto the day of redemption by my vain and idle communications by my rash and sinfull exprobations by my weak and froward objurgations to the great dishonour of thee my God to the cominuall grief of thy Saints to the sad disturbance of my self All this to my hearts grief have I often done and by all this I may now plainly see how much I have hitherto been the servant of sin and Satan how great an enemy to thy glory and to the good of mine own soul But now Lord by thine assistance my speciall care shall henceforth be to allow my self no liberty of speech but what is aiming at Eternity if my heart be heavenly my words will be gratious my actions holy mine end happy and that all this may be so indeed by thy grace Lord I will observe with carefulness and constancy these following cautions 1. Before I speak I will consider that I am in thy blessed presence that what is once â—pâ—kâ—n can never be recalled but is recorded for eterternity 2. That each idle word must be accounted for and that my whole life hitherto hath been little else but vain and empty discourse tending much to thy dishonor the hurt of my neighbour and without mercy in Christ the destruction of my own soul 3. That there is no truer testimony of a graceless heart than a licentious tongue that if I be not holy in my discourse I can never be happy in mine actions 4. That it is impossible for those prayers to be pleasing to God which are offered up with that sinfull member that is so shamefully defiled with evill and corrupt communications amongst men 5. That if I make a mock at Christianity by having onely a form of godliness in mine outward actions but denying the power thereof in my usuall conversation God will one day pay me home by shewing me the richness of his sufferings but denying me the benefits thereof and the sweet enjoyments thereby 6. That without helinesse no man shall see the Lord and that such as is my common and most accustomed discourse in my life I may well fear will be my last and most uncomfortable expressions at my death 7. Unto all this I will adde the shortnesse misery and uncertainty of a sinfull life the horrour and amazement of a wretched death the extremity and eternity of torments after death Lord when my heart is thus guarded by thy grace my lips I trust will be ever open to thy praise Blessed God If thy holy Angell durst not give railing accusations against the devill if thy Sainss in patience possesse their own soules and their speeches he seasoned with salt administring grace to the hearts of the hearers if thou the blessed Saviour of the world when thou wert reviled reviledst not again but as a lamb before the shearers so openedst thou not thy mouth with what comfort can I now appear before thee with what confidence expect a blessing from thee With grief and sorrow I confesse that my heart hath ever been full of corruption and naughtinesse my mouth full of cursing and bitternesse my daily discourse full of folly and uncleannesse the whole course of my life full of misery and wickednesse O that my head were water and mine eyes a fountain of tears that I might weep day and night that I might mourn continually for mine own and others sins Lord purifie my heart and rectifie my tongue that both may be accepted of thee and now and ever graciously directed by thee Lord I acknowledge my faults and my sin is ever before me O let the sorrowfull remembrance of my sins invite thee to a sweet remembrance of thy mercies that thou mayest have the praise and I the comfort of thy gracious pardon Lord let my heart be inflamed with thy love and my mouth filled with thy praise that I may sacrifile my oul unto thee that I may sanctifie my soul before thee by devout thoughts by gracious words and godly actions that so I may with joyfulnesse and thankfulnesse appear in thy fight not onely all the day long but even all my life long that thou my God mayst be glorified thy Saints delighted and my sinfnll foul eternally comforted Amen CHAP. 39. Upon holy revenge for sin with motives and encouragements thereunto Lord I Have ever been too apt to revenge the smallest injuries offered unto me by others in relation to mine outward condition and too remiss in that holy revenge of those great and insufferable wrongs which I daily and hourly obtrude upon mine own soul this plainly sheweth me to have been too much savouring of flesh and blood too little mindfull of thy kingdom and the righteousness thereof That soul which is truly sensible of its own injury will by thy grace be dayly minding of its own redresle and that sinner which is uncapable of slight offences will in time become insensible of greater My greatest enemies are those of mine own houshold The world may allure me the devill perswade me but it is mine own false heart alone that betrayes me and mine own corrupt nature that enslaves me my greatest care shall therefore be to bend my strongest force against mine own corruptions to labour much to subdue mine affections and to take an holy revenge upon my sinfull actions not to satisfie thy justice but to implore thy mercie that I may thereby truly manifest my perfect hatred against sin and the sincerity of my soul to thy service There need none other motives to invite me to this holy duty than the wofull breaches sin hath daily made in my soul such as without mercy will never be repaired this is too sadly proved by the sensible decay of goodnesse and the too powerfull growth of ungodlinesse in my corrupt heart as it is easie for that Castle to stand a close siege that is well fortified man'd and victualled so is it impossible for that Fort to hold out long which maketh no resistance Lord as mine own spirituall ruins have hitherto been caused by mine own neglects so by thy gratious assistance mine own repairs shall be begun and finished by my present desires and future endeavours That time which I have lost by former carelesnesse and coldnesse in Religion I will endeavour to redeem by holy vigilance and Christian fortitude and that I may sincerely be what I intend with willingness of heart I offer up this solemn Vow unto