Lord WHen I call to mind how many daies have past me without bending of a knee how many nights I have gone prayerless to bed I may well wonder that I am this hour alive to speak unto thee I have been too unmindfull of thy holy providence and am therefore utterly unworthy of thy mercifull protection Few and full of evill have my dayes been in the house of my pilgrimage I know not how soon I may goe hence and yet I still live as if I knew not why I came hither I am many wayes invited to my heavenly home how sweetly doest thou wean from the miseries of life by the blessedness of death By this Evenings rest of my body I am put in mind of that eternall rest of my soul This dayes ending tells me that the end of all things is at hand that the fashion of this world passeth and that all things shall become new As this hour is the Evening to this day so this day for ought I know may be the Evening to my whole life I cannot challenge to my self one minute more how vain am I to promise dayes and years Lord in the whole current of thy Sacred Story I find but onely one that durst presume upon so large a reckoning and him thou brandest with the name of Fool Let his folly Lord be my instruction so shall I account each day my last and neither care to live nor fear to dye How many have been snacht out of this life how suddenly and to mans eye how fearfully How unspeakable is thy mercy unto me to spare me for repentonce how often and how earnestly hast thou invited me to mercy how coldly and how carelesly have I refused these thy gracious offers still I sin and still thou forgivest and which is the height of my impiety I therefore am more and more evill against thee because thou art more and more gracious unto me and it were now most just with thee even this very moment to put a period to my sinfull life Lord Let this teach me to improve the short remnant of my dayes to thy service and that I may endeavour so to doe I will prescribe my self these following rules Each evening shall take a strict account of that dayes traffique for my soul and where I find my self a loser I will labour for supply When I awake my first thoughts shall begin with thee from whom I have my first being Nothing will more truly represent me to my self than the first view of mine affections if my first thoughts be seasoned with grace my following actions will savour of goodness My care shall be more to dress my soul than to trim my body I will think no pains too great no ornaments too rich to make her beautifull One devout sigh from a contrite heart is of more worth in thy sight than an hours task of Lip-devotion My affections are the soul of my words without which I speak onely but pray not when my prayers are cold my hopes may well be comfortless My set hours for Devotion shall be constant no pretence of nature shall debar me of this happiness The Lovers eyes are often glancing on the pleasing object that delights him if my affections be sincere my looks will be amorous I shall often steal a sweet Ejaculation to satisfie the longing of my Love-sick soul When I can thus bring the day to an end my life will be comfortable my death happy and I may then say with holy David that I will lay me down in peace and take my rest for it is thou Lord onely that makest me dwel in safety Blessed Lord in the morning of my Creation thou gavest me unto my self in the evening of my Redemption thou gavest thy self unto me My Creation was wonderfull my Redemption astonishing As this dayes light is obscured for the rest of my body so wert thou the blefied and eternall Light for the rest of my soul Thou O blessed Saviour art my light to direct me my heat to comfort me my sweet and safe repose eternally to refresh me Gracious God With humble and dejected heart I ask forgiveness of the many failings of my sinfud life past recall my sinfull thoughts to my remembrance Lord as the burthen of them is intollerable so let my grief for them be unutterable Lord open mine eyes that I may see the foulnes and the filthiness of sin and apprebend the greatness of thy wrath against it Forgive those actuall sins which this dayes light hath witnessed Lord give me a godly sorrow for them a perfect batred against them a fixed and a constant resolution to forsake them Lord cleanse me from my secret and unknown sins and keep me for thy mercy sake that daring and presumptuous sins may never have dominion over me Make me a carefull Steward of that pretious time which thou haft given me withdraw my affections from the vain pleasures of this sinfull life and grant that all the dayes of my appointed time I may wait readily and chearfully untill my change shall come CHAP. 5. Upon our approaching unto Gods House Lord THere is no mortall man worthy to stand at thy door much less to appear in thy presence and yet how often have I presumed to approach unto thee without that preparedness of heart without that dejection of soul without that true and holy reverence that becometh thy child I am now going out of Egypt into Canaan out of Bondage into Freedom The sinfull troubles of this life are my souls Taskmasters to load it with a burthen insupportable and this is that place of sacrifise that Mount of God to ease and solace it Consider therefore O my soul in what relation thou now standest to thy God If thou art a true Israelite thou wilt look back upon thy drudgery and despise it and offer up thy self a living sacrifice with cheerfulness with thankfulness of heart If thou art Gods child thou wilt love to be in Gods house Long for Gods presence thirst for his favour delight in his Word and rejoyce to be often at his Table Thou wilt make it thy chiesest joy to be often in that place from whence thou mayst expect thy chiefest good Lord by thy grace assisting I will now uncloath my self of all earthly affections I will call to mind unto whose presence I approach and wherefore that I am going from this Church Militant to that Triumphant that thou Lord art as truly present here in Grace as there in Glory unless therefore I am in love with misery I will leave behind me all earthly-mindedness and carry with me a pure heart and heavenly thoughts a lowly mind and reverend gesture Lord if I go not cheerfully to thy Throne of Grace I may well fear I shall never go joyfully to that of Glory The lowest room in thy House shall content me Divine Worship admitteth not of disparity of persons we are all sinners and as we are in nature most impure in thy sight the
blessed Sphere Suffer me not dear Lord to moove from thee There is no rest But in thy Brest And in thine absence present misery O that I were at rest with thee Or else that thou wert come to mee Since in thine absence I am so distrest Thy wrathfull frown Hath thrown me down And rais'd a storm in my unquiet brest Come Lord and close these wretched eyes So blear'd with sins and miseries Resolve this erring heart to tamer dust Which every day Thus sleals away That it may rise more joyfull and more just THE SINNERS JOY All my Soul why so dismai'd Why so sad so sore afraid Canst thou think those gratious eyes Drench'd in tears for thee Can disdain such powerfull cryes Such humility Sinners soules must sorrow keep Man may mourn when God can weep Soul though thou hast done amiss Yet rejoyce for thou art his See his soul was sad to death In his agony Sad to case thy wofull breath In thy misery Be not faithless but beleeve Man may sigh when God can grieve Do not grudge to lend a tear Can'st thou doubt or can'st thou fear Can'st thou see his bleeding heart And not believe him Wounded soul that bears a part Can never grieve him Timely tears are precious seed Man may weep when God can bleed Be not so cast down Alass See his soul forsaken was Frighted with his Fathers frown Left in paines of hell Ah why art thou so cast down 'T was to make thee well Doubt not but admire his cost Man may stray when God was lost Soul when thou art left alone Do not deem thy Saviour gone When thou canst not see his face 'T is to let thee know That those sinnes with-draw his grace Which brought him so low See where he in grave doth lie Man may faint when God can die Weep no more but wipe thine eyes See O see thy Saviour rise Happie Soul thy debts are paid He is ascended Death is not be not afraid All woes are ended Grieve no more believe and live Man may take when God can give DEO SALVATORI WIth sighing Soul and bended knee Thy Servant vowes himself to thee My God accept a broken heart Bleeding for Sin O thou which art The Soveraign balm vouchsafe to bee My dearest Lord that Balm to mee Inlighten with thy saving grace Those eyes thou guidest to this place And grant dear God those fins of mine May not obscure that Grace of thine Amen THE SINNER'S TEARS The Entrance to the Work THere is no man but naturally desireth Happiness even those unhappy ones that least endeavour for it have oftentimes an earnest longing to it there can be no true Happiness without Peace no true Peace without Holiness without offering violence to our corrupt affections without ransaking our soules and searching out the very secrets of our Sinfull hearts the wordling may be outwardly merry but none but the sons of sorrow can be inwardly contented that outward Joy may delight for a season but this inward Peace remaineth for ever Peace is the richest Jewell in a Christians Cabinet the choisest Legacy that Christ bequeathed to his chosen ones in it there is a complication of all Blessings and without it an expectation of all Miseries there is no attaining to it but by the search of him who is the giver of it there is no following this search but by that path which leadeth to the ready way and there is but one guide that can direct us unto that path Blessed God there is no way unto thee but by thee thou art life and thou art the way to that life and thou art the guide to that way thou Lord art all in all unto me and therefore shalt be now and ever praised by me In all awfull reverence to thy sacred Majestie in fear and trembling at the sight of thy severe Justice to impenitent sinners in serious apprehension of thy sweet mercy in forbearing me a miserable wretch and with unfeigned forrow and humilitie of heart for grieving thy good Spirit I here dedicate the short remainer of my sinfull dayes to thy service In thy name and in thy fear I begin my discourse who art the God of peace by whose holy Spirit I am guided to this happy search Lord lead mee in it by the same Spirit that I may become an instrument of glory unto thee of happiness to thine of rest to mine own soul CHAP. I. Upon the consideration of our sinfull thoughts touching the Sacred Deitie with holy cautions to order our Devotions aright Lord WHen I seriously consider what thou art the least glimps of whose eternall glory I can no way see but by conceiving what thou art not when I look upon the vast distance between thee the blessed Creator and mee thy sinfull Creature I cannot but wonder at thy great patience at thy rich goodness at thine endless mercy towards mee My whole life from my nativitie hath been a continued course of sinfulness against thee mine actions highly rebellious my thoughts finfully wicked even the very best of them a dark confused indigested heap of misconceivings of thy sacred Majestie Thou Lord art an Essence most glorious most inconceivable eternallie injoying Blessedness in the fruition of thy self thy Centre is every where thy Circumference no where thou admittest not of Augmentation nor of Diminution no length of time is bâ—yond thee no depth of wisdome beneath thee no height of glory above thee no bredth of mercy beside thee Thou aâ—tâ—o Lord a most pure simple and eternall beeing Pure without matter without form Simple without mixture without composition Eternall without beginning without end no Created being can express thee no imagination conceive thee no understanding utter thee when I think of thee as thou art the bright beames of thy glory amaze mee when I conceive of thee what thou art not the terrors of mine own heart affright mee even but the Least thought of this kind is impious seeing that hereby I do not onely rob thee of thy glory but even deprive thee of thy self and yet Lord as thy being is most high so is the search thereof most necessary because from it as from the blessed fountain I enjoy my present I exspect my future happiness and unto it with joy of heart and earnestness of soul I desire should run the current of my praises in this life of my Allelujaes in that to come When I find therefore any Corporall parts appropriated to the Divine nature I there see thee gratiously descending to the weakness of my frail and infirm nature and ever bless thy holy name that vouchsafest to declare thy self not as thou art but as I am Thine Eye Lord is thy Wisdom thy Right hand thy Power thy sitting thine Immutability thy Standing thy Fortitude thine Anger thy Justice in punishing thy Repentance thy Mercy in pardoning thy Hatred of sin thy Holiness thy grieving thy Loving kindness thy Patience and long suffering thy Goodness all are thy self Neither is it
long patience in thy great goodnesse in thy rich mercies in thy fatherly affections towards me I am wofully sunk into the deep mire of sin where no stay is Lord uphold me by thy grace that I perish not eternally O deliver me for thy mercy sake for I am helplesse and poor and my heart is wounded within me Let my soul live and it shall praise thee and thy judgements shall help me As thou hast raised me by thy power so rule me by thy providence that thy grace may be far sweeter with my sufferings than my pleasure with my sins Restrain my loose desires renew my good purposes assist my weak endeavours correct mine errours sustain my infirmities give me a godly sorrow for my sins a thankfull heart for thy favours a filiall fear of thy judgements a sincere love to thy laws an holy constancy and happy perseverance to my lives end Amen CHAP. 13. Upon the great danger of Presumption ALass my Soul how vain art thou how wretched to presume upon the mercy of thy God how canst thou be so foolish to believe that God will favour thee in that which he so severely punished in his own Son thinkest thou that pretious bloud was spilt to cherish sin Be not mistaken for as Christ Iesus came into the world to save sinners so he came allso to call sinners to repentance Doest thou argue well to say because God is mercifull long-suffering and of great goodnesse therefore I will abuse his mercy in sinning his patience by my long continuing in sin his great goodnesse by my great unthankfulnesse is not this to mock his mercy to bid defiance to his justice to arm him with fury to invite him to revenge Assure thy self the longer he is in drawing his Bow the more forcible will he send his Arrow Deceive not thy self therefore God will not be so mercifull to thee as to be unjust to himself All the waies of God are Mercy and Truth Mercy to support thy weaknesse Truth to correct thy wilfulnesse There is therefore Mercy with him that he may be feared not that he may be slighted not that he may be shamefully dishonoured How full of falshood is thy bold presumption thou criest Peace Peace when sudden War is ready to destroy thee There is no peace to the wicked saith my God Heaven and Earth are up in Arms against thee and there is none left not so much as thine own Conscience to deliver thee Thou hast gratiously received the knowledge of the truth thou hast grievously sinned against the light of that knowledge thou hast wofully continuâ—d in thy sins without remorse of conscience without desire of repentance and there now remaineth no more sacrifice for sin but a searfull looking for of judgement and violent fire that shall devour the Adversaries O remember that the Angels for one sin were thrown down from Heaven and that Adam for one sin was cast out of Paradise Thy sins O my Soul are innumerable thou hast had line upon line and precept upon precept and yet thou addest sin upon sin and transgression upon transgression Thou hast sinned against many pretious promises against many gratious performances against many fearfull judgements thou hast grieved that good Spirit by which the Saints are sealed up unto the day of redemption All these are heavy aggravations upon thee to fill up the measure of thy sins and hasten the swiftnesse of thy punishments Ah how sad is thy condition thou hast not onely wearied out thy self in wickednesse but thy God allso hear what he faith unto thee how he complaineth of thee by his holy Prophet Behold I am pressed under you as a cart is laden with sheaves Amos 2.13 and yet thou still addest more load but as thou addest sin upon sin so thou callest for wrath upon wrath as thou hast made a mock at sin so God will make a mock at misery as thou hast thy measure in sinning so God will have his measure in punishing Consider what he saith unto thee by his Prophet Judgement will I lay to the rule and Righteousnesse to the ballance Esay 28.17 18. As he hath a bottle for thy tears so he hath a bag for thy transgressions Job 14.17 their growth is recorded their number accounted their nature examined all sealed up against the great and fearfull day of the revelation of the righteous judgement O consider this thou that forgettest God lest he tear thee in pieces and there be none to deliver thee Think how suddenly thou mayst be snatcht away by those infernall Fiends to endlesse torments and then what tears will be enough to weep thine obsequies to quench those everlasting burnings But then alass instead of tears of compassion thou shalt have mocks of derision the cursed Devils will laugh thee to scorn the blessed Saints and Angels will rejoyce at thy confusion and God himself who onely can relieve thee will for ever hide his tender mercy from thee Awake therefore out of thy sleep of death look well into thy lost estate thou art now near unto making up the measure of thy sins beyond which thou canst not passe Thy God hath said to thee as to the Sea hitherto malt thou goe and here shalt thou stay thy proud waves Think how suddenly thou mayest be called to thy last account even this very hour for ought thou knowest those cursed Spirits may convey thee to thy fiery Prison O think how powerfully the wrath of God will then seize upon thee how wofully thou wilt excrutiate thy self with apprehension of thy former folly and last of all how wretchedly thou art forever banisht from eternall joyes to suffer with the damned in eternall torments Lâ—t this move thee to amend thy wicked wayes to cry mightily to God for mercy to judge thy self to condemn thy self that thou mayst not be judged of the Lord to Kiss the Son lest he be angry and so thou perish from the right way If his wrath be kindled yea but a little blessed are all they that put their trust in him Turn therefore unto the Lord thy God O my soul for he is gracious and merciful slow to anger and of great kindness and repenteth him of the evil Blessed Lord As an unfeigned sign of my repentance in anguish of heart and bitterness of soul I earnestly desire to search into the secreets of my sinfull thoughts to unbosom all my sins and lay them open to the view of all thy Saints that thou mayst have the glory they the good and I the shame of my confession that so this penitent sense of mine iniquities which I thankfully acknowledge cometh alone from thee may be an evidence unto me that thou wilt also give me pardon for them Lord I willingly confess my self to be a great and grievous sinner mine original defiled my birth polluted mine infancy stained my youth insnared my manhood corrupted mine age besotted Mine imaginations vain my thoughts sinfull my words wicked mine actions abhominable my
eternall life O wofull cateif if I well consider what I am but sar more wofull if I seriously consider what I should be Lord when I was in my blood thou saidst unto me Live when I was cast out and none eye pittied me then thou hadst mercy on me when I was naked thou clothedst me when I was wounded thou healedst me nay more Lord thou didst uncloath thy self for me and by thy wounds I am healed when I was loathsom in mine own eyes I was beautifull in thine and when all this is not yet enough to manifest thy wonderfull compassions towards me thou feedest me at thine own Table thou lodgest me in thine own bosom thou makest me partaker of thine own inheritance Blessed God what couldest thou have done more for me that thou hast not done And yet for all this I forsake thee I neglect thee I abuse thee I adulterate those many vows and promises I made unto thee And now Lord when I am even ashamed to present my self before thee when my false heart hath been so great a stranger to thy blessed bosom that I am even afraid to kneel to thee for mercy thou graciously forgivest me thou bemoanest my sin thou hidest my shaure thou makest love unto me and to the wonder of my soul delightest still to set thy love upon me Thou O my blessed Saviour hast told me that if I were of this World it would love me but now I am not of this World that the World hateth me Lord what madness is this in me to love mine utter enemy to delight in her bosom which hunteth for my precious life to forlake thee the pleasant Lilly of the Vallies the sweet Refreshments of Eternity to weary out and wound my soul amongst the Bryars of this barren Wilderness Thou Lord hast sayd unto me Arise my Love my Fair one and come away thou invitest me from the showers and tempests of a stormy Winter from the cares and troubles of a discontented life to the sweet dews of thy graces the gentle breathings of thy Spirit the tender buds of thy love the lovely blossems of thy goodness the pleasant fruit of thy promises the joyfull crop of thy performances And notwithstanding all this I still cry yet a little more sleep yet a little more number yet a little more folding of the hands together yet a little more sin yet a little more shame yet a little more sorrow Ah Lord what is there in the creature that thus strangely bewitcheth me or rather what is there not in it that is not every minute ready to betray me and dispoyl me of those precious ornaments of soul which thou hast given me the cares and crosses of this life asflict me the pleasures besot me the profits disturb me pride puffeth me up and even mine own heart deceiveth me by calling good evill and evill good by making that sweet in the expectation which is bitter in the fruition Lord while I have sought the creature I have lost my self my body in distempers my soul in distractions That precious Faith which is the ground of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen whose end is the salvation of my soul which is thy gift who art the God of truth is now drowned in a sea of error and justly given up to believe dreams and delusions and doctrines of Devils to trust wholly in vanity and to follow after lying That saving knowledge by which I was formerly enlightned in thy sacred Truths is now blinded with the soggy mists of sin and ignorance This Lord is my great aggravation and just condemnation that light is come into the world and I have loved darkness better than light That glorious hope which maketh not ashamed but exspecteth an inheritance eternall in the heavens which fadeth not away is now become a vain and empty hope delighted with sin rewarded with shame Those blessed affections by which my happy soul was wont to walk in thy wayes and to delight it self in thy commands are now wearied out in wayes of wickedness and that heart which hath so often promised obedience unto thee any thy Laws hath now forsaken thee the living God and made a covenant with death and hell Thus am I robbed and spoyled of all and am become poor and wretched and blind and naked and miserable my whole head is sick and my whole heart is faint I have sown in iniquity and must reap in asfliction I am intoxicated with the wine of Errour that stings me like a Scrpent and bites me like a Cockatrice and yet when I awake such is the sadnesse of my present condition I say I will seek it yet still Lord he that is once out of thy path knoweth not the length of his journey and may well fear to lose himself for ever And now Lord what is my hope truly my hope is even in thee thou seest my weaknesse and acceptest my willingnesse thou that knowest it impossible that the world should be overcome by me biddest me be of good comfort because thou Lord hast overcome the world for me if I fight not against thee though I am often foyled yet I am more than conquerour in thee O let this teach me joyfully to rely upon thee to make thee the height of my joy the end of my desires the onely happy and eternall object of my sinfull soul Lord I heartily defire thee I thankfully embrace thee and doe for ever vow my soul and body to thee Suffer me not to wander from thy blessed presence let me not longer dally nor dissemble with my soul O let me not think that I then love thee when I love but my self in thee make me now at last to know those blessed things that belong to my peace lest they be for ever hid from mine eyes Lord by thy rich mercy I can now plainly see the vanity and emptinesse of all these earthly objects the folly and misery of those that rest in them the rest and quietnesse of those that least rely upon them in this tranfitory beauty of the Creature I can now behold the ravishing perfections of the great Creatoâ—r Lord I now exceedingly desire to know thee that I may for ever love thee that I may be sick of love till I enjoy thee that I may joyfully rest in thee and be eternally united to thee For thou Lord art infinitely sweeter than the sweetnesse of thy Creatwes they are all but emptinesse and vanity but in thy presence is the fulnesse of joy and at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore O thou blessed Fountain of eternall goodnesse forgive me mine offences cover my sins and fix my soul upon the sweetnesse of thy heavenly joyes give me constancy and steadinesse of heart to cleave unto thee and for thy mercy sake remove all vain desires that may betray me from thee O thou blessed Saviour of my sinfull soul by whose persect obedience all my disobedience is forgiven me who hast given
therefore for if thy faith be weak yet it is living if it be languishing it will assuredly recover more strength if there be blossomes now there will be fruit hereafter these happy beginnings will have gratious proceedings blessed câ—dings Consider what thy God hath promised by his holy Prophet I will not break the bruised reed nor quench the smoking flax Isay 42.3 Let not the smarting therefore of thy conscience trouble thee remember who it is that searcheth it I have wounded thee saith God and I will heal thee I have broken thee and I will bind thee up Thou art therefore wounded that thou mayst be healed thou art therefore broken that thou mayst be bound up That sore which is insensible is ever most dangerous and that wound which smarteth most is most capable of remedy Blessed Lord I now feel to mine unspeakable comfort that thou hast wounded me with the terrours of thy Law that thou mayst heal me with the comforts of thy Gospell that I am therefore bruised with the burden of my sins that I may be ever eased by the merits of my Saviours sufferings all my imperfections are his all his righteousness is mine I may boldly chalenge it thou wilt not deny it I may safely plead it thou canst not refuse it Consider yet further O my Soul what thy blessed Saviour saith unto thee I am the resurrection and the life he that believeth in me though he were dead yet shall be live and whosever liveth and believeth in me shall never dye Ioh. 11.25 26. How canst thou doubt now O my Soul when thy Saviour biddeth thee believe and live what canst thou fear when thou hast his promise for thy safety Heaven and Earth shall pass away but not one tittle of his Word shall fail Let not the number of thy sins affright thee for it is his bloud which clenseth us from all iniquity 1 Ioh. 1.7 9. Let not the nature of thy sins amaze thee for though they were red as scarlet yet he will make them white as snow Let not the long continuance of them stagger thee for At what time soever a sinner doth repent him of his sins from the bottome of his heart I will blot them out of my remembrance saith the Lord Ezech. 18. Thy Coâ—â—cience shall not trouble thee for Being justified by faith we have peace with God Rom. 5.1 The Devill cannot hurt thee for Who shall lay any thing to the charge of Gods elect it is God that justifieth who is he that condemneth it is Christ that died yea rather that is risen again who is even at the right hand of God who allso maketh intercession for us Rom. 8.32 33. Nay which is the sum of all God himself in Iustice cannot condemn thee for There is no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit Rom. 8.1 his lustice is satisfied his Mercy magnified his Name be for ever glorified Lord let this teach me to rely with comfort on thy blessed promises and to walk worchy of them in my religious performances to manifest my increase of grace by my increase of goodness to fix my heart wholly upon thee to love thee to fear thee to honour thee and assuredly to rest in thee when thy grace shall enable me to delight in thy fear my sins can never perswade me to despair of thy favour my peace will be then inviolable my joy unutterable my happiness unalterable Blessed Lord God When I consider of the wretchedness of mine own corruptions in nature I am even ready to despair of thy love But when I look upon the blessedness of my condition in Christ I am then encouraged to sue to thee for mercy and forgiveness Allthough thy justice be severe against ane as I am a grievous sinner yet thy mercy is most sweet unto me in my Saviour I now tremble at thy judgements yet I rejoyce in thy promises allthough thy Law speak never so terribly thy curses be never so many thy plagues be never so grievous thy wrath never so tempestuous yet in the sweet mercy of my Saviour I am able to abide them all O Lord my God I abhor my self I accuse my self I condemn my self I am now ready with thy wrath to seize upon my sinfull soul and cast it down to everlasting misery Lord unto thee onely I appeal for mercy and forgiveness sweet Jesus accept of me and interpose thy blessed merits for me inrich my soul with thy sufferings be ever present with me and eternall comfort to me O holy and for ever blesssed Spirit thou that sanclifiest the souls of thine Elect assist and strengthen me quicken and revive my drooping saith increase my hope cherish my love foment those dying sparks by the sweet breathings of thy blessed Spirit that they may zealously break forth into a pure and fervent flame of holy affections to thy great glory and mine own eternall happiness Amen CHAP. 30. Upon the great Neglect of the duty of Prayer Lord WHen I serionsly consider how manifold and great my failings are when I think of the shortness and uncertainty of life of the solemnity of death of the eternity of happiness or misery after death and by all these of the necessity usefulness and excellency of Prayer I may well wonder that I am ever from my knees My life is all sin and had therefore need to be all sorrow the greatness and continuance of my sins have added to the greatness and continuance of my misery and there is none but thou O Lord that can relieve me there is no coming to thee but by Prayer and no Prayer powerfull with thee but that which is fervent This is â—hat eye of my affection that woundeth the heart of thy compassion this is that holy violence that taketh Heaven by force that surpriseth thy Mercy that manicles thy Justice that wrestles with thy Love and will not let thee goe without a blessing This is my strong armour to defend me my daily food to sustein me my safe repose to refresh me my sweet content for ever to delight me Blessed Lord how wonderfull is thy desire to man how graciously doest thou provide for him how daily art thou mindfull of him Thy words instruct me thy promises allure me thy graces sustein me thy sacraments strengthen me thy visits comfort me thy embraces ravish me And as if all this were not yet enough to manifest thy favour towards me so unspeakable is thy love so earnest thy desires unto me that thou hast even given me thy self to be overcome by me Lord thou art all love when I strive with thee for mercy I overcome thee by thy self how great is thy goodness how tender are thy mercies unto man for whose sake thou contendest even with thine own Essence Thou hast given thy Son to die for me and in him thy self to be overcome by me Lord let this teach me to renew my acquaintance often with thee to
labour to be powerfull in my prayers to study to be humble zealous earnest even importunate in my devotions to let no sinfull thought pass me without a sigh no sinfull action without holy contrition no divine favours without devout and thankfull acknowledgement That soul which is truly sensible of the burden of sin will hasten unto that heavenly help that can give it ease and that heart which is once truly inflamed with thy love will readily instruct â—he tongue to be zealous in thy praise Lord let me first seek mine own heart before I presume to come before thy Mercy seat lest if I recall it not from the vanities of this life my very prayers become sin and so while I expect a blessing I deserve a curse Let no vain excuse no barren pretence of this life perswade me to intermit this holy duty lest carelesness and coldness in devotion beget in me a loathing of that course which by constant practice will become my constant comfort I ord make me to consider of the sweetness of the excellency of this gift that I may dayly labour to improve it to my soules eternall happiness That when I often fall as I needs must through the weakness of the flesh thou O Lord in mercy mayst restore me through my blessed importunity of spirit With grief of heart Lord I confess that my great neglect of this holy duty hath most justly occasioned the great abatement of thy holy Spirit in me and long withholdings of thine outward blessings from me Lord give me yet an heart to serve thee and then take from me what thou wilt I desire nothing with out thee for I know assuredily that with thee I cannot but enjoy all things needfull for me O make me to bewail mine own unworthiness my drownsiness my dulness my carelesness my much untowardness in thy service Create in me a clean heart O Lord and renew a right spirit within me that I may praise thee with alacrity and fervency of soul that I may be daily ravished with contemplation of eternity and hourly satisfie my thoughts with apprehension of the sweetness of my present safety of my future glory Lord make me every day more earnest in this holy duty O give me such affectionate desires such holy longings such insatiate appetites such earnest importunities of heart for heavenly graces that I may not onely beg of thee but even wrestle with thee for this blessing although the sinfull desires of my corrupt flesh go halting to the grave Be mercifull unto me O Lord for my soul trusteth in thee and in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge untill these calamities of sins and miseries be overpast Lord hear the voice of my humble petitions when I cry unto thee when I hold up my hands towards thy Mercy seat shew thy servant the light of thy countenance and save me for thy mercy sake Ps 28.2 Ps 31.18 CHAP. 31. Upon the great neglect of Reading the sacred Scriptures ALass my soul how unbeseeming thy profession is this thy backwardness to holy duties how long wilt thou grovell on this element of earth how long be cheated with these counterfeit commodities these childish toys of outward enjoyments what sweetness canst thou find in those things which favour of corruption what comfort in those joyes which are but vain vexatious toylsom transitory whose seeming beauties are suddenly passing never returning O let this move thee to delight in that which cannot pass to remember whence thou art and whether thou art going that thou mayst thereby raise thy thoughts to immortality Look upon the beauty of those sacred leaves and thou wilt loath the falshood of this worlds embraces Thou mayst there find the sum of all that was or is or is to come conducing to thy reall happiness There is nature unbowelled hell opened and heaven unveiled Thou mayst there see the creature to be vanity thy self misery thy Saviour felicity Thou hast there his counsell to guide thee his wisdom to instruct thee his power to sustein thee his gifts to encourage thee his threatnings to admonish thee his mercies to allure thee his judgements to deter thee his holy Spirit to comfort thee There is antiquitie strangeness truth in history wonder in miracles amazement in prophecie foundness in precepts sweetness in promises each sillable contained in this Book is matter of eternall moment Take heed therefore that thou passest by no portion of thâ—s sacred volume lightly nor pryest into any presumptuously holy diligence is often blest with heavenly knowledge and humble ignorance with heavenly grace Lord seeing that thy word is in it self so excellently rich and in its use so absolutely good with what earnestnâ—ss of soul ought I to embrace it with what holy diligence peruse it with what devout cheerfulness and constancy of heart apply my self unto it These high perfectiâ—â—s shall religiously oblige me to repair my former neglects by my present promises of my future performances No day shall henceforth pass me without some time alotted for this holy exercise custoâ— will make it easie profit sweet if the troublesom affairs of this lise do sometimes to my soul grief distuâ—b me in it by thy grace assisting they shall never divert me from it what is borrowed from this blessed task by inforced necessity shall be repayed with advantage by the next happy opportunity Lord all is but vanity and meer nothing in compare of thee and thy service If I cannot be willingly holy I shall never be joyfully happy Blessed Lord So sanctifie my sinfull soul that I may joyfully perform those promises I make unto thee that I may daily dedicate some part and portion of my sinfull houres to read some portion of thy sacred Scriptures O let them ever be the joy of my joy the life of my life the light of mine eyes and comfort of my heart Lord turn away mine eyes from these outward enjoyments lest they behold vanity and quicken me in thy way Give me an humble soul that I may read thy blessed lines with holy fear and awfull reverence that I may be piously delighted with them and happily instructed by them Give me a discerning soul that I may see the wonderfull things of thy law that I may truly love it and delight in it that my heart may be inflamed by it and my tongue be ever talking of it O let thy Statutes be my song in the house of my pilgrimage that I may walk in thy wayes with constancy that I may run in thy race with fervency Amen CHAP. 32. Upon the neglect of Divine Meditation WHat doest thou here on earth O my soul why art thou so perplexed with the cares and sorrows of this sinfull life so careless of the joyes in that to come Who can judge him likely to inherit Heaven that loves not to think of it Thou mayst measure thy degrees of Grace by thy desires of Glory If thy thoughts be not often and earnestly taken up
depraved nature this sin had doubtless been a sad memoriall to my grave such is the power of sin once grown habituall O let my sorrowfull confession be the readers usefull instruction that thou mayst have the glory I the shame of my mis-doing Lord I have often sinned against thee by my wretched violation of the truth in envious detractions from the good of my neighbour vain-glorious aggravations of mine own abilities censorious taxations of my brethrens infirmities indulgent diminutions of mine own iniquities I have often grieved thy good Spirit by which thou hast sealed me up unto the day of redemption by my vain and idle communications by my rash and sinfull exprobations by my weak and froward objurgations to the great dishonour of thee my God to the cominuall grief of thy Saints to the sad disturbance of my self All this to my hearts grief have I often done and by all this I may now plainly see how much I have hitherto been the servant of sin and Satan how great an enemy to thy glory and to the good of mine own soul But now Lord by thine assistance my speciall care shall henceforth be to allow my self no liberty of speech but what is aiming at Eternity if my heart be heavenly my words will be gratious my actions holy mine end happy and that all this may be so indeed by thy grace Lord I will observe with carefulness and constancy these following cautions 1. Before I speak I will consider that I am in thy blessed presence that what is once â—pâ—kâ—n can never be recalled but is recorded for eterternity 2. That each idle word must be accounted for and that my whole life hitherto hath been little else but vain and empty discourse tending much to thy dishonor the hurt of my neighbour and without mercy in Christ the destruction of my own soul 3. That there is no truer testimony of a graceless heart than a licentious tongue that if I be not holy in my discourse I can never be happy in mine actions 4. That it is impossible for those prayers to be pleasing to God which are offered up with that sinfull member that is so shamefully defiled with evill and corrupt communications amongst men 5. That if I make a mock at Christianity by having onely a form of godliness in mine outward actions but denying the power thereof in my usuall conversation God will one day pay me home by shewing me the richness of his sufferings but denying me the benefits thereof and the sweet enjoyments thereby 6. That without helinesse no man shall see the Lord and that such as is my common and most accustomed discourse in my life I may well fear will be my last and most uncomfortable expressions at my death 7. Unto all this I will adde the shortnesse misery and uncertainty of a sinfull life the horrour and amazement of a wretched death the extremity and eternity of torments after death Lord when my heart is thus guarded by thy grace my lips I trust will be ever open to thy praise Blessed God If thy holy Angell durst not give railing accusations against the devill if thy Sainss in patience possesse their own soules and their speeches he seasoned with salt administring grace to the hearts of the hearers if thou the blessed Saviour of the world when thou wert reviled reviledst not again but as a lamb before the shearers so openedst thou not thy mouth with what comfort can I now appear before thee with what confidence expect a blessing from thee With grief and sorrow I confesse that my heart hath ever been full of corruption and naughtinesse my mouth full of cursing and bitternesse my daily discourse full of folly and uncleannesse the whole course of my life full of misery and wickednesse O that my head were water and mine eyes a fountain of tears that I might weep day and night that I might mourn continually for mine own and others sins Lord purifie my heart and rectifie my tongue that both may be accepted of thee and now and ever graciously directed by thee Lord I acknowledge my faults and my sin is ever before me O let the sorrowfull remembrance of my sins invite thee to a sweet remembrance of thy mercies that thou mayest have the praise and I the comfort of thy gracious pardon Lord let my heart be inflamed with thy love and my mouth filled with thy praise that I may sacrifile my oul unto thee that I may sanctifie my soul before thee by devout thoughts by gracious words and godly actions that so I may with joyfulnesse and thankfulnesse appear in thy fight not onely all the day long but even all my life long that thou my God mayst be glorified thy Saints delighted and my sinfnll foul eternally comforted Amen CHAP. 39. Upon holy revenge for sin with motives and encouragements thereunto Lord I Have ever been too apt to revenge the smallest injuries offered unto me by others in relation to mine outward condition and too remiss in that holy revenge of those great and insufferable wrongs which I daily and hourly obtrude upon mine own soul this plainly sheweth me to have been too much savouring of flesh and blood too little mindfull of thy kingdom and the righteousness thereof That soul which is truly sensible of its own injury will by thy grace be dayly minding of its own redresle and that sinner which is uncapable of slight offences will in time become insensible of greater My greatest enemies are those of mine own houshold The world may allure me the devill perswade me but it is mine own false heart alone that betrayes me and mine own corrupt nature that enslaves me my greatest care shall therefore be to bend my strongest force against mine own corruptions to labour much to subdue mine affections and to take an holy revenge upon my sinfull actions not to satisfie thy justice but to implore thy mercie that I may thereby truly manifest my perfect hatred against sin and the sincerity of my soul to thy service There need none other motives to invite me to this holy duty than the wofull breaches sin hath daily made in my soul such as without mercy will never be repaired this is too sadly proved by the sensible decay of goodnesse and the too powerfull growth of ungodlinesse in my corrupt heart as it is easie for that Castle to stand a close siege that is well fortified man'd and victualled so is it impossible for that Fort to hold out long which maketh no resistance Lord as mine own spirituall ruins have hitherto been caused by mine own neglects so by thy gratious assistance mine own repairs shall be begun and finished by my present desires and future endeavours That time which I have lost by former carelesnesse and coldnesse in Religion I will endeavour to redeem by holy vigilance and Christian fortitude and that I may sincerely be what I intend with willingness of heart I offer up this solemn Vow unto
that as our sins have provoked thee to anger so our tears may move thee to compassion that thy mercy may be magnified our miseries relieved our sorrows comforted O let not these bitter aggravations of thy judgements extort from us the least measure of impatience nor beget in us the least degree of distrust let us neither complain of thy justice nor despair of thy mercy but quietly and thankfully rely upon thee and in thy blessed hour enjoy a sweet inlargement by thee Lord pity the forlorn condition of thy sons and daughters in affliction repair their outward losses by thine inward graces that what is wanting to them of these earthly comforts may be abundantly supplied in thy heavenly joyes Forgive the great disturbers of the peace of this thy Sion Lord open their eyes that they may see how much they have erred from thy waies Lord sanctifie their hearts that they may speedily return unto thee and be for ever gratiously accepted of thee O that thou wouldst give us one heart and one voyce that we might serve thee without ceasing that we may be all truly humbled before thee and truly joyfull in thee Restore me for thy rich mercy sake unto that blessed union of Love which is the bond of Peace that as thou our God art one so thy distressed Church may be one thy divided people one their wishes and desires their prayers and tears their actions and endeavours one for thy glory the Churches safety and the Nations happiness That we may have peace with thee our God peace with our enemies peace with our own souls and everlasting peace with thee in thy Kingdome Amen A comfortable PRAYER to bee used at the point of death by the Visitors of the Sick O Eternall Almighty most mercifull and for ever blessed Lord God of Heaven and Earth wee thy poor and most unworthy creatures miserable and distressed sinners in all humility of heart and dejectedness of spirit are here prostrate before thee Lord we confesse that we are utterly unworthy to approach thy glorious presence Blessed God we are confounded and ashamed to lift up our sinfull eyes unto thee whose gracious goodnesse we have so much neglected whose patience and long-suffering so long abused whose anger and indignation so justly provoked whose wrath and fury so wretchedly deserved Lord we are heavy laden with the burden of our sinnes and thou alone art able to relieve us to thee therefore we addresse our sinfull souls for mercy and forgivenesse O thou that art the blessed Shepheard of our erring soules that camest into the World to seek and to save those that are lost have mercy upon us O thou that hast espoused us unto thy self and hast given us thy love have mercy upon us O thou that callest us to come unto thee and embracest us when we are come receive our prayers Lord give us prepared hearts to meet thee in this holy duty Quicken our benummed soules with holy fervencie that our devotions may ascend unto thy gracious presence Lord thou hast promised to be near unto all those which call upon thee with sincerity and faithfulnesse of heart for thy blessed promise sake we most humbly beseech thee let our humiliations be comfortable our prayers acceptable In full assurance of the sweetnesse of thy mercy towards us wee are now bold to become Petitioners unto thee for this thy sick servant whose life is drawing near unto the grave Blessâ—d Lord God it is thou that killest and makest alive that bringest down to hell and raisest up again we most meekly beseech thee therefore for thy rich and tender love sake to thine Elect to mitigate that bitter curse which thou hast layd upon us all in Adam Lord look upon his affliction and his travail and forgive him all his sinnes give him sure patience to endure with meekness whatsoever thou art pleased to inflict upon him Lord lay no more upon his feeble body than thou shalt make him able for to bear impose no more upon his wounded spirit than thou in mercy shalt support him under Forsake him not O Lord our God be not thou far from him let him remember that this chastisement of thine is common to thy dearest children that thou hidest thy face from him but for a small moment but with everlasting kindnesse thou wilt have mercy on him Lord settle and compose his thoughts for thy Kingdom let no disturbance of this life distract those blessed meditations which invite the weary soul to rest and quietnesse let him now see and joyfully beleeve that thou wilt order all these outward things to thine own glory and the good of those that have relation to him let him freely forgive all injuries on earth and heartily desire to meet his greatest enemies in heaven O let his soul be now transported with the sweetnesse of thy love and favour towards him Lord qualifie this bitter potion which thy holy providence hath alotted to him let him now remember that the sufferings of this present life are not worthy of that glory which shall be suddainly revealed in him and when the outward man is drawing nearest to its dissolution Lord Jesus strengthen and rejoyce the inward man with comfort and assured confidence of thy salvation To this end O Lord we most humbly beseech thee to illuminate his understanding that he may see the sadnesse of his own condition in himself that â—he may deny and utterly abhor himself that he may disclame all sinfull confidence in his own actions and endeavours and wholly cast himself upon the righteousnesse of him in whom alone thy wrath is fully satisfied Lord give him a serious and a true remorse of conscience for his many and his great offences Lord Jesus grant that they may not now appear unto the terror and amazement of his sinfull soul O let him now remember that it is thy precious blood which purgeth him from all iniquitie that thou O blessed Saviour art become unto him righteousnesse and holinesse and sanctification and redemption Lord comfort and assist him in this last and greatest tryall of his faith And because the sensible decay of his infirm body and the violent disturbance of his sicknesse will not suffer him to call upon thee with digestednesse of mind and quietnesse of spirit we therefore humbly pray thee to sustein and comfort him even in his greatest weaknesse and extremity Blessed God let the sorrowfull sighing of thy sick prisoner now come before thee O let thy blessed Spirit which is in him put up humble supplications to the Father for him O satisfie him with thy mercy and that soon Let those happy sighs and groans which cannot be expressed become a pleasing sacrifise of thankfulnesse to thee and a sweet savour of eternall rest to his departing soul O thou that art the God of power protect him from the fury of that roaring Lion who is now seeking to devour him O thou that art the blessed Saviour of the sinfull world compassionate his
towards me I am much grieved at the coldness and the carelesness of my affections towards thine each object of charity is an opportunity of mercy If I neglect it I am unkind to thee my Saviour cruel to my neigbour injurious to mine own soul I am not â—ord but Steward of thine outward blessings and it were now just with thee to call me to a strict account If any of thy Saints suffer which thou sendest unto me for relief their sufferings thou wilt surely require at my hands as each cup of cold water which I have given in thy name shall not lose its reward so each farthing which I ow unto thee in thy members will assuredly require its everlasting punishment I have been too carefully solicitous for the things of this life too caresly negligent of the treasures in that to come I have had many wayes to deprive my self of my present comfort of my future happiness when my talent hath been large I have had no leisure when little no ability to works of mercy The present necessities of thy Saints have been daily neglested upon the false pretence of future opportunities and those future opportunities again put off by the dilatory plea of mine own present necessities Thus have I long kept my self in a circulation of self-couzenage and have so lived here as if I were never to go hence and were utterly ignorant for what cause I came hither From whence is this my great neglect of charity towards my brethren but from my greater want of love to thee my God and from whence my disobedience to thy precepts but from mine unbelief of thy promises Thou biddest me Give and hast promised it shall be given unto me good measure shaken together pressed down and running over Luke 6.38 Thou commandest me not to be weary in well doing and hast promised that in due time I shall reap if I faint noâ— Ephes 6.9 If I did beleeve the one I should gladly perform the other and whose word shall I take Lord if I dare to question thine All thy blessed promises are Yea and Amen the begining sweet the end certain as thou hast a bottle for my tears and a bag for my transgressions so thou hast allso a book for mine Alms-deeds Acts 10.4 Not one of them shall be forgotten but even the very least of them shall be â—raciously accepted gloriously rewarded not for my work sake but for thy promise sake no for mine own sake but for my Saviours sake Lord I can merit nothing at thy hands but by thine own mercy And now Lord let me examine What I have gained by my want of charity I have exchanged Heaven to enjoy earth I have parted with thee my Saviour in whom are all the treasures that are true and crernall for the very basest part of earth which is vain and uncertain I have lost those blessed opportunities of doing good which can never be recalled and together with them those rewards of thine which shall never be enjoyed I have offended thee my God grieved thy Saints burdened mine own conscience and been an utter enemy to mine own salvation As my affections have been frozen towards others so have I justly found the gifts and graces of thy holy Spirit decaying daily in mine own soul my love cold to thy law mine ears deaf to thy precepts my mouth dumb to thy praises my faith dead to thy promises my hope fainting my zeal languishing my joy perishing These are the sad and sure effects of want of charity the beginning sinfull the progress dangerous the end desperate Lord if those heavenly spirits whose very names import their ardency of love to thy glory are yet found cold enough in thy sight with what horror and confusion of face will those wretched souls appear before thee who have not been so much as lukewarm in thy service By thy grace Lord I will therefore henceforth make a godly improvement of all future opportunities of doing good wharsoever thine allowance is unto me of these outward blessings I will dedicate some due proportion of it unto works of mercy and cheerfully and thankfully trust thee my God with the sustentation of my body upon whose blessed protection I safely relie for the eternall preservation of my soul my heart my hand my tongue mine actions shall be allwaies ready to relieve the necessities to promote the good of thy children and as this happy resolution hath had its beginning from thy grace so shall its aim be wholly at thy glory Blessed Lord Such is thy gratious goodnesse unto thine that thou even preventest them with thy blessings while they call upon thee thou art ready to answer and before they speak unto thee thou art willing to hear Lord I am thy child and am therefore bold to crave a blessing of thee and what is now more suitable to my necessities than the sweet infusion of thy holy Spirit for I now find to my grief of heart that the forein heat of the pleasures and profits of this life have extracted from me the inward heat of my desires and longings for thy blessed presence the adventitious heat of the love of this world hath quite consumed in me the naturall heat of my zeal to thy kingdom Lord kindle in me those decaying sparks of thy grace that they may now grow up into a bright flame of fervent affections to thy glory and thy childrens good Teach me to know that godlinesse is great gain and that the truest treasures are those which are layd up with thee in thy Kingdom Lord pardon my neglects of holy duties forgive my deadnesse and my dulnesse unto works of mercy repair my sinfull breaches by thy present graces O let the fervour of my future charity become a pleasing sacrifise to expiate my former misery to reconcile my soul in Christ to endless mercy Amen CHAP. 37. Upon the deceitfulness of the heart in the performance of holy duties NOthing is more common amongst Christians than to be deluded by the shew of holy actions the heart of man is deceitfull above all things who can know it holy performances are usually accompanied with hellish temptations when the Ship of our soules is under sail and hath the freshest way for heaven we have then most need to look to our steerage to have an eye to the compass and land-marks Which of our holy duties which are the ships we sayl in to the port of happiness have not their rocks to split upon or Remoraes to hinder them or cross winds to divert them or leaks to sink them or seas to overwhelm them when we arrive at any small measure of goodness we many times rest in it and grow secure upon it if grace carry us on farther we are too apt to beleeve that we are far better than our neighbours that we are highly in Gods favour and cannot but deserve his fatherly protection his liberall remuneration and so by this secret insinuation of pride in our hearts wee have
folly in our hands sinne in our mindes and shame in our actions That prayer is very rare that is not fick of some distemper that charity very pure that can admit of no mistakes and that performance very perfect that is not soyled with some filth of wickedness How willing are our thoughts to wander in our prayers how cold and careless are we in them and how remils in the performance of them where is that constancy that fervency that holy importunity of spirit that is required of us in this holy exercise which of us can truly say that throughout the whole course of his whole life hitherto he ever put up one prayer unto Almighty God that was not cumbred with distracted thoughts that needed not a present pardon I tremble at mine own and grieve at others failings O let my severest censures of my brothers sins be assured signs of my best love How far are we even the very best of us from that purity and perfection of soul which becometh this holy duty and yet how ready are we even the very worst of us to beleeve our selves sufficiently holy assuredly happy We content our selves usually with the very shels and husks and outsides of Religion with shews and shadows of devotion with customary cold prayers intermitted undigested readings careless inconsiderate meditations hypocritall pharisaical fastings popular Alms-deeds having onely the shew of godliness but denying the power thereof All these and whatsoever else are like to these are odious to God abhominable to good men and most destructive to their souls that are deluded by them When by the sweet assistance of the heavenly goodness and gentle breathings of his blessed Spirit we are drawing nearer to our haven when the aguish distempers of the soul are abated and her native and radicall heat is grown strong and vigorous when the fervencie of our zeal is a rich evidence of the liveliness of our faith of the certainty of our hope of the perfection of our charity when our affections are inflamed with Gods love and our actions aim onely at his glory when we are grown up to that happy state of grace that our consciences are pure our resolutions godly our conversations unblamable allthough wee dare not then propose these base and by respects these outward aims unto out selves yet how cunningly and closely will corruptions Real in upon us even in these very blessed acts of grace This is too truly proved too sadly experienced even by the very best of Christians Lord in thy rich mercie give us eyes to discern it hearts to avoyd it How often may we find pride in our humility lust in our desires of chastity our own private ends in our proposals of Gods publique interest when we bear a part amongst the mourners of Syon when we are cast down for some humane frailty wee presently conceive highly of our own holiness and very meanly of others in their relations unto happiness while we have sought to become better by the proposall of some strict rules to preserve chastity have we not many times become worse by poysoning those very defires by unclean thoughts and uncleaner actions How many while they have sincerely aimed at Gods glory by the holy proposall and happy performance of some reall good for the benefit of his children have been secretly surprised with the by-end of their own deserved praise Lord how readily have I now met with mine own sins to thy great glory and mine own deserved slame I willingly confess that I am guilty of all this and infinitely more than this even these very lines are witnesses against me of my secret corruptions O let this my sorrowfull confession purchase for me thy free and full remission that thou mayst have the glory I the comfort of these weak endeavours And now Lord seeing I am thus impure and sinfull in mine own eyes even in the very best of my performances how loathsome must I needs appear in thy sight who art Purity it self and canst not behold iniquity Blessed Lord as thou hast given me the light of thy Word to discover me unto my self so give me allso the sword of thy Spirit to deliver me from my self Deliver me O Lord from the evill man from mine ownsecret corruptions and unknown abominations Allthough I am unto mine own soul both ruine and destruction yet let my blessed Saviour be unto me safety and salvation Search my heart O Lord and try my reins O let no base and by-respects inhabit there to rob thee of thine honour no false and vain respects to cheat me of my present holiness and future bappiness Pardon and pass by the secret and unknown errours of my sinfull life suppress the great disturbances turbances of my corrupt affections allthough they many times prevail against me yet let thy saving grace Lord be sufficient for me Lord make me purely and entirely holy let me love holiness neither for fear of thy punishments nor for hope of thy rewards but for thy sake onely O my God who art holiness it self Let me never think my self holy enough but forget all those holy actions which are past and press hard forward towards the mark for the rich price of the high calling in Christ Jesus Lord crown my holy desires with happy performances and blessed perseverance that at the end of my race I may receive the end of my hopes the salvation of my pretious soul and that for his sake and perfect holiness by whom I trust these weak and sinfull endeavours of mine shall be gratiously accepted and faithfully rewarded Amen CHAP. 38. Upon the unruliness of the Tongue with necessary cautions to restrain it Lord THY servant David is said to be a man after thine own heart and yet I find him setting a watch before his lips that he might not offend with his congue if such a chosen vessel as he had so much need of circumspection what holy cautions had I need to use what strict rules to observe who am so far from David's purity that I am nothing else but wilfull impiety I am so far Lord from being at union with thee that I am even enmity it self against thee In vain had holy David set a watch before his lips unless he had first set a guard upon his heart where the fountain is impure the streams can never be wholsome if the heart be full of sinfull corruption the tongue will soon overflow with corrupt and sinfull communication Lord I need none other proof of this point than mine own sinfull failings how often have I provoked thee to anger and displeasure against me by that usuall but most fearfull sin of swearing of which with shame and sorrow I confess my younger years were sadly guilty since when time and experience having added more light to my mind but thou O Lord especially more grace to my heart when I would have left it to my great grief I could not and had not that thy saving and preventing grace restrained my