for me but to forbid thy Memory to Dye in me O thou loving and Blessed above all Beloveds when thy passion is engraven by thy own hand in an Holy Mysterie for my mind to wear shall not I keep this memorial Shall I not wear thy Ring who am so ready to wear a Death's-head to preserve alive the memory of a dead Friend O that I may ever keep this Manna that came down from Heaven not in a Leaden but Golden pot not in a dull barren bareley contemplative but humble tender active pretious memory which moves all good affections to thee and promoves all good abilities for thee Such a memory will mind and do all Duty admire and love thee obey endure do and suffer for thee establish Faith excite Repentance inflame Love maintain Constancy I cannot but repent believe and love to the end if thou be in my mind If I fail payment of any duty to thee or man it is because I do not remember thee Of me Of my Death and your redemption by it This Sacrament then is an obelisk to the eternal memory of thy passion so oft as I neglect it what do I but pull down this Pyramid of everlasting date set up in the Church for a solemn memorial of thy death and bury thee and thy Merits as the Jews did thy Body but in a worser grave not in a Garden but Desart a grave of Oblivion Wretch am I that have need of such an help to my memory and spur to my Duty as both a Command and a Sacrament it casts reproach on me O Saviour that thou shouldst give thy Body for me and I scarce give my mind to thee that I should have so great a room in thy heart and thou so hardly get any in mine that thou shouldst be more ready to bleed for me then I to think of thee Dear Jesus thou didst empty all thy veins for me shall not I find a vessel to preserve thy precious Blood Do I not spill what thou shed if I let it run out of my memory yet art thou put to it to find me both blood and mind and when thou hast done all that out of remembrance of me lest it should be forgotten ordain'st a Sanction and Sacrament saying Do this in remembrance of me But more wretch I if I do not so do for Lord if I do thee honour dost thou not do me favour for it If I give thee glory is it more my duty then felicity to do it If thy Sacrament is it not my benefit Receive I not great honour in it Reap I not good benefits by it conveys it not the Blood Royal of Heaven into me Am I not related to Brother of Christ Heir and Prince of Heaven by vertue of that Blood Is not the Godhead bodily in him and is not this Body mystically in me and I near allyed to God by the Communion of that Body And can he want Demeans that is such a Prince Is not the Earth thy gift and Heaven in thy power O thou Son and Heir of all And have I not thy Spirit thy flesh to pledge for all the conveyance sealed in thy Blood and thy Merits made over and assured in thy Body O Lord I am so much concern'd in honour and estate to do what thou commandest that if I consider my self I shall do it to thy memory in remembrance of me as well as thee Wherever God hath bestow'd a vital principle Faith whereby the Just live he affords nourishment to sustain it and an inclination and attractive faculty towards it Christ Crucified is as the cause of our new birth so the food which sustains and preserves us in it unto whose Body and Blood there must needs be as proportionable an appetite in a new Christian as to Milk in an Infant that being more nourishable then milk and Faith more vital to desire it then Nature Oh! I know not what grace and comfort I have lost that others have found in the Consciencious use of this If there be any thing in the lively discoveries of the evil and desert of sin the wrath and love of God the cordials of the Gospel by frequenting it might it not have been much better with me in my Spiritual condition is not this great Hypecrisie and Dissimulation to complain of the hardness of my heart and not apply the Blood of Christ to soften it of the prevalencie of corruptions and not bring them to his Cross to subdue them of my timerous spirit and not come where God secures me and gives evidence for the discharge of his covenant and promise that God is departing when I stand at a distance and will not come nigh him is withdrawn from my Soul when I withdraw from my Dutie that I am a stranger to spiritual joy when I will not come to draw water out of the wells of Salvation of die weakness of grace and not use of all means of strengthening it can I refuse my food yet be nourished grow in grace and neglect the means not grow and be guiltless live in a known sin by neglecting a plain commanded Dutie and expect the rewards of obedience may not partial obedience to Gods commands well increase my doubts of his favour Is not this to slight and disesteem a firm conveyance of all Christs purchased benefits here offered and assured to Believers and then think not much Soul if thou go without them for ever who art also so unwilling to bind thy self to thankfulness and obedience for them Meals which are for nourishment must be often 't is not told me how often I should eat or drink the sense and feeling of the wants of my food directs me to makes me do it often Am I not apt to grow dull lukewarm cold to and in duty to contract guilt blot my evidences disturb my peace to forget him and his matchless love Is he so much in my serious thoughts as he deserves Is it enough to have some accasional thoughts of him Do I not complain that I love and think of him no more can apply him no better have so little of him am so insenble of his kindness and affection to his members Is it not a sin and shame I no more solemnly dwell in meditation upon him am no more in praising of rejoycing in him Do I not often need so great an help to soften my heart to renew my repentance to strengthen and confirm my Faith Hope and Resolutions to increase inflame my love and thankfulness fix my thoughts more solemnly upon him apply him get and maintain more intimate communion with him closer knit my soul to him and his members Is it not a sad sign I perform no Duties as and to those ends I ought but out of custom without expecting therefore without finding any great advantage from them Are the consolations of God small unto me is it not a sign when I was there I miss'd of the benefit Have I not cause to repent of
break of day and wondred we were not trimming our Lamps not decking our selves knowâ—ng with whom we were to meet to feast â—o day Our Beloved spake and said â—nto us Rise up my Love my Fair Ones and come away This is the day which the Lord hath made we will reâ—oyce and be glad in it How should we welcom it with suffcient joy thankfulness for the approach of so great a Blessing â—hat brings our Saviour so near unto us 'T is too too late I will arise and get â—e ready but where are my Cloths Oh â—ow poor how empty how naked am I Oh for the fairest sweetest robe of â—houghts and wishes out of my Fathers Wardrobe Oh for my silken golden twist of Faith to hang the Jewel of Godâ— sorrow and Humility Love and thankfulness upon I am never drest till they be on Oh where are they I saw them by me but just before I went to bed what was I then so long about but gathering tying raising them up Ah this vain World this envious Devil this evil deceitful Heart hath been ravelling stealing them out or hid them from me that now I am as far to seek as ever Oh whither shall I what shall I do to find them behold the Bridegroom cometh and I am not ready I cannot dare not go to day Now will my Lord be angry when he comes in to see his guests he looking over them will say where 's such a one was he not bidden I 'm sure I invited him If I go undrest he 'l ask how came I in not having on a Wedding Garment to either I shall be speechless Ah foolish 〈◊〉 careless heart to let Earthly so intangle thy Heavenly Thoughts thou knowest not now how to unloose them which heed and care might have prevented my horrible negligence and guiltiness makes mâ—â—tremble to go yet not dare to keep away for where should my polluted Soul be washt but in that Fountain set open for sin and for uncleanness Oh thou that wilt in no wise cast off him that cometh unto thee dis-intangle my thoughts from all things below and dress me up as pleaseth thee over-look my manifold weaknesses and imperfections in my preparation if I knew nothing by my self yet were I not thereby justified I have no Righteousness of my own and if I had I would not mention it before thee though I were Righteous and had the greatest fitness and perfection a creature is capable of yet would I not answer thee I would not plead but supplicate not stand upon my Right but petition thy Favour not expect thy Justice but crave thy pity I would make supplication to my Judge The Righteousness of man is not pleadable before a Righteous God if thou shouldest be extream to mark what is done amiss by the best men in the best actions O Lord who could stand we are all as an unclean thing and all our righteousness are as filthy rags my person is loathsom and abominable my preparation and best performances carry in them matter of my own death and indictment except thou oh cover them with the Robe of Christ's Righteousness and sprinkle them with his blood they can find no acceptance with thee And Oh thou who for our sake tookest upon thee our passions and sensibilities our weaknesses and sufferings so art become a merciful High Priest and pitiful to our infirmities receive a wearied sinner an overbur-thened Conscience an afflicted polluted Soul into thy care custody and cure The humility and sorrow love and purity of any Creature is not sufficient to make me worthy to be fed with thy Body nourisht with thy Blood united to thee to dwell and be one with thee but what I cannot be of my self let me be made of thee who of God art made unto us Wisdom Righteousness Sanctification and Redemption Oh weigh thine own not my merits that I may offer up an odour of a sweet smell a sacrifice acceptable well pleasing unto thee by Christ Jesus the life of them that believe and the Resurrection of the dead From him I hope for victory against my sins strength in Duty against my weakness succour in my life against temptation in my death against despair after death against damnation I presume upon thy help not because I â—ave deserv'd it for I have been an unprofitable servant but because thou hast redeemed me for thy Blood cannot be unprofitable Help me if not for my misery which I have deserved yet for thy mercies which thou hast promised for thy goodness is more ready to forgive then thy power to punish and thy Blood cries â—ouder for pardon then my sins for punishment Thou hast not yet forgiven so much as thou hast promised nor promis'd more than thou hast puchas'd Hath thy Blood satisfied for more sins than I can commit and shall it not satisfie for those 〈◊〉 have forsaken and do detest Hast thou purchased Mercy for more then repent and wilt thou not shew it on those to whom thou hast given Repentance Hast thou been so long calling that thou shouldest at last reject me so long promising Salvation that thou shouldst at last deny me I am thy Debtor for thy purchase but thou art mine for the promise 〈◊〉 could not oblige thee by my desert but thou hast obliged thy self by thy word I plead not the merit of my obedience but the mercy of the Covenant which thy Lâ—â—â— and mercy moved thee to make and thy Truth ties thee to perform Free grace made thee a promiser and thy promise hath made thee a Debtor Thou art not more Free in making promises then faithful in making them good a God that keepeth Covenant unto a thousand generations And oh that I could now laâ—â— aside my Body with my Business put off this outward man forâ— more naked The Soul Fixed inward spiritual sight that my mind might be rendred more sensible of him fit to receive 〈◊〉 deeper impression from his hand that nothing but him might enter in Away be gone ye wandring worldly vaiâ— thoughts for I am going to my God stiâ— not up nor disturb the Beloved of my Soul come not near I charge you make no noise to displease him or to call mâ— away from entertaining and enjoying oâ— him yea Lord bid them be gone and not dare to appear before thee It is the voice of my Beloved I hear him inviting me to his Table I see him coming to entertain me let all flesh therefore be silent and not be so bold as to whisper in his presence Welcom holy thoughts and pure desires Oh happy time wherein I may embrace my Saviour and solace my soul in the armes of my dearest Love Awake my Understanding Will and Affections awake my Glory and my Heart awake all ye Powers Faculties and Graces of my Soul and all that is within me be summon'd in stirred up and wholly bent to attend this service My costliest Box of Oyntment cannot be bestow'd better then on my
solemnly to search purifie cleanse and cast out all the leaven to pray with greater appetite praise his Name with a more delightful relish To distaste all oher things to disburthen my self to lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily besets me to get as near Heaven as possible to render my mind more sensible of God and more fit to receive a deeper impression from his hand To excite the strongest acts of Faith the vehementest flames of love and longings after Christ and his blessings which prepares for the enjoyment Holy desires joy and thankfulness at the approach of so blessed an opportunitie To renew my resolutions and vows of holy obedience to mortifie my lesser irregularities and to bind the obligations faster that are upon my Soul To have a lively sense of the ends for which I go in what estate my Graces stand what I am to ask and for what I ought to plead the Blood of Christ voluntarily to offer more of my time and thoughts to Religious Exercises and to do that over again with a greater fervour which I have been doing since the last Communion To recover my self to the same or rather higher degrees of Zeal fervour and sublime admirations to apparel trim and dress up my mind with braver notions and brighter ornaments To get my manners carriage and behaviour rightly formed and handsomely composed for this Feast with die great King He that understands the excellencie and holiness of the mystery the glorie of the Guest the infinite benefit then designed and the increase of degrees by the exercise of those previous acts of Holiness the manner so contrarie as worthy and unworthy the effect of the Ordinance so much depending on the manner of receiving the advantage so great of Communion with Christs Bodie the danger no less then Damnation that it will set one forward and contribute very much to an happie or an unhappie eternitie a man cannot at all be supposed in any state wherein this thing will be indifferent to him will not be inquisitive into the just measure but do it heartilie devoutlie reverentlie and as much as he can put himself in to a meet disposition tobe so familiar with God Solemn Sequestration A Journey an unfixed Heart undischarg'd of earthly thoughts travelling up and down afar off unfits as well as a dead body or gross sins Earthly thoughts in the Temple if not driven away before will be buzzing pestring vexing me and corrupt the Sacrifice If I go with a loose ungirt spirit I cannot instantly entertain my Lord his work must stay untill I be ready I must be girding when I should be working or do it fumblingly and awakedly not with dexterity and activity Let your loins therefore be girt and you your selves like men that wait for their Lord that when he comes and knocks you may open to him immediately It concerns me now to put my self into that order and state of good things as if to morrow I were to dye to suppose my self seated before Gods Tribunal and to see whether I can reasonably hope my state is changed my sins pardoned and mortified to consider that unless I dare dye that day if God should call me there 's little reason I should dare to receive the Sacrament of â—ife or Minister of death If I be mistaken about the truth of Grace now I am undone for ever without true Repentance by my unworthy going I bind the guilt of all my other sins upon my Soul and add this to all the rest guiltiness of the blood of Christ He that communicates worthily is justified from his sins and to him death can have no sting to whom the Sacrament brings life and health And if I judge Righteous Judgement I shall soon find what pinches most what makes me most afraid what most criminal and least mortified so shall learn to make provision accordingly Enter then my Soul into thy chamber solemnly sequester thy self from all other Avocations that we may tend upon the Lord without distraction Shut up set a watch at the gates of thy heart let it not be open till that solemn day be over If other thoughts be hankering and hanging about for entrance testifie against them rebuke and threaten them let thy spirit in a holy indignation rise up against them the only means that from that time forth they come no more in such a season Farewell my Wife and Children Friends and secular concerns abide you here at the foot of the Mount be husht and laid deadned and mortified all irregular earthly passions and affections I have something else to do you are a clog unto my soul tread not nor whisper in this solemn place where is no room but for God alone trouble me not the door is now shut I am about a great work I will not cannot open to you And Oh thou that lookest from Heaven that fashionest the hearts of men and considerest all their works enlighten enliven and convince me affect assist and prosper me own accept and bless me call in and restrain the loosness and wandrings of my thoughts Fix unite and fill my heart with an awe a dread and reverence of thee with suitable thoughts apprehensions and meditations to the present occasion and let my meditations be attended with sutable affections Let all flesh be silent before thee let thy spirit rest upon me let this season be improved not carelesly sloathfully or negligently but sincerely uprightly with my whole soul heart and strength to thy praise and my great advantage at thy Table and in the day when thou shalt judge the secrets of mens hearts by Jesus Christ Strict examination I Am about to sit at the Lords Table among his own Children I know before-hand the King attended with his glorious Angels will come in to see his guests Christ's garment covers only Christ's members he is too just to be bribed too great to be slighted too wise to be deceived too jealous to be provoked too good to be forfeited Oh what solemn provision shall I make for so sacred a presence but a serious diligent deep enquiry into with a full and awfull discussion of the particular present estate of my Soul whether I be such as may be assured he will bid me welcome being reconciled to him and endued with those vital qualifications which pre-dispose me for an Ordinance that supposes me within the Covenant it seals and to have spiritual life it sustains and nourishes by conveying that true food of life Christ Crucified I must be born before I can eat Vncircumcised persons were not to eat the Passeover The inward of Ordinances are only enjoyed by them that are inwardly Christians Those only that bring true Graces receive real Comforts we take Christ and then eat him none find any nourishment relish or sweetness in his blood but those who have receiv'd him and so have a propriety in a little to him and the nearer the Interest the greater sweetness He must be
mine first in claim and title then in fruition and comfort no juice or sap from the Vine except a branch in it no grace is there improved but what I have along with me I must prove my right to the purchase ere I can take possession 'T is high Treason to annex the Kings Broad Seal to forged Writings no receiving the benefit without showing the condition and my interest in the Covenant that 's sealed to them only that come up to the terms of it Now this is the Covenant that I will make with the house of Israel â—aith the Lord I will put Jer. 31.31 c. my Law in their inward Heb. 8.10 c. parts and write it in their hearts and will be their God and they shall be my people and they shall know me from the least unto the greatest and I will forgive their iniquities and remember their sins no more And Oh my Soul have I an inward right an actual interest in this Covenant Is the Law of God writ in my Heart A permanent that no Time Temptation Tribulation can obliterate universal counterpane answerable conformity legible by others in my Conversation and by my self in my Constitution of Soul strongly inclined disposed and perswaded to all cordial sincere entire chearful spiritual obedience out of a principle of love to God and to glorifie and enjoy him delighting meditating in it day and nights being renew'd according to his Image in Knowledge Righteousness and true Holiness Have I a Covenant-Relation to and Interest in God Am I one of his people by Federal profession not ashamed of but openly declaring and avouching my self to be his rejoycing and glorying therein as my great priviledge and happiness In all Covenant-Relations to God and Christ Do I fear love obey submit to depend upon him for direction provision and protection am I wholly at his dispose as my only wise faithful loving Father Do I forsake all other Corrivals and Competitors cleave only to him in all conjugal love and faithfulness Do I delight in am I unsatisfied without his presence as my Husband Do I purifie and keep clean his Temple demean my self towards him as my Inhabitant Esteem live upon and rest fully contented with him as my portion Am I his by Federal Appropriation not sin's Satan's the World's my own but entirely his In all I am Body and Soul are my Eyes his to behold his wonderful works my Ears to hear his Heavenly saving Word my taste and smell his to relish his surpassing sweetness in the Creatures my Tongue to proclaim and Triumph in his praise my Hands to work that which is good my Feet to walk in his ways all my senses and members abilities and faculties instruments of righteousness Is my understanding his to know discern contemplate upon him my Memory to treasure up and retain his councels and covenants promises and dispensations my Conscience his Deputy to accuse or excuse under him my Will his to will or nill in subordination to him my grief hatred and detestation to mourn for abhor and flie every thing offensive to him or obstructive of my delightful enjoyment of him my desire love and delight his to long for embrace acquiesce fully and contentedly in him Am I his in all I have Do I approve my self his in all my relations and stations inward qualifications and endowments outward goods and possessions In all I can do or procure undergo or endure for him Am I willing and ready to give my self to and for him taking up my Cross daily and following him rejoycing I am accounted worthy to suffer for his name Have I a sanctified knowledge of God as to his Essence Attributes Personal distinctions Word and Works of Man in his Creation Corruption Restauration and Perfection of Christ in his person Offices Estates of the Covenant of Grace and the Lords Supper in its efficient material formal and final cause And is this my Knowledge experimental heart purifying and humbling communicative growing affectionate efficatious and obediential Are mine iniquities forgiven and forgotten by God Do I groan under them as my greatest evil and heaviest burthen forsake them in affection and commission Have I sincerely confessed bewailed loathed them and my self for them unfeignedly striving against and desiring to be freed from the filth power dominion as well as the guilt and punishment of sin from a love and sence of Gods kindness and goodness to me Is my heart calmed and quieted through Faith in Christ being thereby at peace with God enlarged to bless him for pardon Am I earnest with him more and more for assurance of it purity of heart establishment in his ways Is there in me a hearty sincere disposition inclination and propensity to pardon the offences of others pitying and lamenting meekly reproving proving and covering their infirmities a readiness to help them rejoycing in their welfare as my own especially the demeanest Saints in whom is all my light Christ is not to be receiv'd of all comers (a) John 1.12 nor entertain'd by every guest (b) Can. 3.4 nor touched by every hand (c) Mat. 9.21.22 nor found by every enquiry (d) Can. 5.6 He is offered in the Gospel to all but gives himself here and is receiv'd by such alone as have and have I a spiritual hunger and thirst after him (e) Mat. 5.6 An ear to hear him (f) Mat. 13.9 An eye to see him (g) 1 Cor. 11.29 A foot to come to him (h) Mat. 11.28 A hand to take him (i) 1 Cor. 11.24 Arms to embrace him (k) Can. 3.4 A mouth and taste to eat and drink relish and digest him (l) Can. 2.3 Mat. 26.26 A breast to retain him (m) Eph. 3.17 Bowels of affection towards him and his members A Heart to mourn for my piercing of him to be truely thankful for and above all to prize him Are not these Infallible Scriptural Characters of Christs Disciples Can I appeal to God and say Lord thou knowest all things thou knowest it is thus with me or am I willing to venture my eternal condition my last gasp upon my present hopes Have I a solid ground of confidence when I shall appear naked before Gods Bar when the secrets of hearts shall be manifest will these pleas find acceptance in that day when all the world must be saved or damned by him Oh my Soul make nothing the foundation of thy peace but what God hath made the condition of thy Salvation let nothing satisfie us now but what will save us then for if our hearts condemn us God is greater then our hearts and knoweth all things but if our hearts condemn us not then have we confidence towards God Deep Humiliation BEfore I go for a full discharge I must narrowly look into the Book of my Conscience cast up my accounts and see how infinitely I am indebted to my God view my self in the glass of his Law and Gospel
Search my Soul so to the bottom that none of my wounds may fester but be all discovered and cured consider from whence I am fallen before and since the last Communion and repent and O that I may be so sensible of my sin and misery that I may be truly apprehensive of and thankful for infinite love and mercy I dare not presume to compass thine Altar most holy Lord before I have washed my hands in Innocency and purified my heart by Repentance and Faith in the blood of my Redeemer I will now therefore call my sins to remembrance and set them in order before mine eyes and remember mine own evil ways and my doings which have not been good and loath my self in my own sight for my iniquities and for my abominations O I am not able to reckon up or remember my innumerable breaches of thy most holy Commandments The 1. By not knowing acknowledging thinking remembring chusing believing esteeming adoring loving desiring fearing obeying of trusting joying in acquainting my self with not demeaning my self towards thee as God and my God but preferring sin self Satan the world any thing before thy self The 2. By mis-apprehensions gross conceits of thee not setting my whole delight in reposing all my confidence on expecting all my happiness from addressing all my complaints prayers praises unto thee not worshipping thee as to manner and means agreeable to thy word The 3. By not acknowledging or effectually remembring and delighting to speak of thee as I have had occasion to make thy praise glorious or doing it irreverently dealing falsly in my Covenant with thee not vindicating thy Honour not grieving for thy Dishonour weariness of thy commands non-observance distrust misapplication of thy providences unthankfulness for great mercies dejection impatience under small crosses insensibleness incorrigibleness under judgments and afflictions not using thy Name Attributes Ordinances Works every thing whereby thou may'st be known as is required The 4. By unmindfulness beforehand to prevent or avoid whatsoever might distract in the duties of the Sabbath not preparing my self not resting from needless thoughts words actions mis-spending it in idleness and vanity not performing publick and private duties of Prayer Reading Hearing Examination wheting thy Law upon my heart and others contemplating thy Word and Works with that care reverence sincerity spirtualness profit delight as I ought not calling the Sabbath a Delight Holy of the Lord Honorable The 5. By not behaving my self answerable to my several Relations with all due reverence and respect to my Natural Ecclesiastical Political Parents in heart word behaviour prayer thanksgiving for Superiours covering their infirmities in love not admonishing and encouraging Inferiours in well-doing not by a grave wise holy exemplary carriage procuring glory to thee and preserving the honour and authority thou hast put upon me not regarding the dignity and worth of my Equals or rejoycing in their gifts advancement prosperity as my own The 6. By sinful anger hatred secret grudges injurious thoughts excessive passions distracting cares immoderate use of diet labour rest recreation reviling saddening provoking grieving speeches falling short in maintaining mutual Friendship and in following peace with all men sowing discord among Brethren concealing their dangers unprofitable conversation quenching suppressing holy suggestions preferring things of time before eternity or by whatsoever may tend not to the health but prejudice of my own or others Soul or Bodies not weeping with them that weep being sensless hard-hearted unaffected at publick evils and others miseries The 7. By unchaste thoughts purposes affections looks company words actions or listening to them not labouring to quench my fleshly concupisence by watching over my senses heart and ways not shunning all occasions to or acts of uncleanness in or with my self or others not keeping my bodie and soul from all filthiness of flesh and spirit but making my heart a cage of impure thoughts my mind a stie of the unclean spirit The 8. By unbecoming arts in Bargaining not dealing with others as I would men should with me not endeavouring by all just means to procure preserve and further the welfare of others as well as my own withholding good from them to whom it was due suffering Christ to stand at and go away from my door hungry cold naked succourless and when the leanness of his cheeks pleaded pitie the hardness of my heart would shew no compassion The 9. By slandering backbiting detracting reviling harsh flattering misconstruing discouraging sinister intentions words and actions listening to and spreading the faults of others not charitable in my thoughts and speeches to them not freely acknowledging their gifts and graces not readily receiving a good report but willingly admitting an evil one not discouraging tale-bearers flatterers slanderers not loving desiring rejoycing in caring for defending and upholding their good name not sorrowing for and covering their infirmities but practising or not avoiding my self or not hindring what I can in others such things as raise jealousies and suspicions procure an ill name to my self or others The 10. By self-love evil thoughts covetousness inordinate prizing and affecting distrustful distracting solicitous care and study in getting keeping or using temporal things discontent with my own estate envying and grieving at my neighbours unlawful motions and affections to things that are his And to these I have added multitudes of sins against the Gospel by not as I ought labouring to acquaint my self with it Ignorance flighting of not sufficiently esteeming admiring thankful for that infinite love in my Redemption not loving rejoycing in Christ and him Crucified relying on owning of him in all his Offices accounting all things loss and dung for him not taking that pains I ought to know him and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of his sufferings and to be made conformable to his death if by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead and be made perfect as my Father in Heaven is perfect Not claiming his promises as my heritage nor esteeming them the joy of my heart and as unsearchable riches exceeding great and precious not believing prizing embracing of hoping waiting for the good of them with so much readiness and steadfastness as their excelcellency and certainty requires and applying them as I ought to this and the next life not careful they have their due effects on my Soul in making me partaker of the divine nature not dying daily to sin nor acting growing in grace and in the knowledge of Christ not thirsting after righteousness and that poor mournful meek merciful pure Spirit that shall be blessed not confessing but being ashamed of Christ before men and my relation to him not denying my self taking up my Cross and following him Not doing all things to the glory of God nor rejoycing in him always Not receiving not doing the good nor improving time mercies judgments forein perturbations national discontents and divisions irreligious confusions domestick distinguishing favours as I ought Strangeness
so cause me to feed on digest improve his body and blood having the same expectation of Spiritual and Eternal life from him that I have of temporal life from my food Let me eat not only the Bread of the Lord but the Bread which the Lord that as by my senses I receive â—he Elements to my Corporal so by faith 〈◊〉 may receive and apply him to my Spiriâ—â—al nourishment Let the Ordinance be a â—â—vely resemblance remembrance and â—pplication of the sufferings and earnest of the Supper of the Lamb. Let Christ be 〈◊〉 lively set forth as if Crucified before by eyes dying for me that beholding â—mbracing and even putting my fingers â—nto the print of his nails and feet and â—hrusting my hand into his side so fully â—erswaded of his suffering for me that I â—â—ay not be faithless but believing saying â—y Lord and my God he loved me and â—ave himself for me my beloved is mine â—nd I am his O that I may so touch him â—s may find and feel strength peace virâ—ue come from him and be healed of all â—â—y uncleanness that they may not be â—nto death but unto the glory of thy â—ercyâ— in pardoning and grace in purifying 〈◊〉 polluted a Wretch That it may be he food the feast of my graces the poiâ—â—on the funeral of my corruptions Let â—â—e so feed on his blessed Bodie and bathe â—â—y soul in his pretious Blood that my Soul may magnifie the Lord and mâ—â— Spirit rejoyce in God my Saviour whoâ—â— having not seen I may love in whâ—â— though now I see him not yet believing 〈◊〉 may rejoyce with joy unspeakable and fuâ—â— of glory Circumcise my Heart to loâ—â— thee with all my Soul Love and witâ— all my strength Let my hearâ— be ravisht with this infinite merciâ—â— in thee to sinful miserable man in cotriving and giving so glorious a Reddeemer and Redemption to save him and now in presenting us with such special Seals of his love and admitting uâ—â—â— into so near so holy a Communion 〈◊〉 For this let me be dissolv'd into lovâ— to thee and thy Son and to man foâ— his sake and into a steadfast vow of lifâ— and death to thy service that I will give and forgive do and suffer any thing foâ— thee Let me be fill'd with holy raptures joys and hopes in so great a goodness who having done this will deâ—â— me nothing and maugre the rage and malice of hell not see my soul lost foâ— whom all this is done Oh let me meet with strong endearments of Affections melting and flowing over toâ—ards thee languishing with desires enjoy thee even turn'd into made 〈◊〉 of love for thee that I may be the â—isciple whom thou lovest and laid in â—y bosom Oh deal with me as thou â—ften dost with those that draw near to â—â—ee though I burn not with so hot a â—ame yet through thy grace I crave it â—f thee that I may participate with â—nd be numbred among such fervent â—overs If I cannot say I am sick of Love â—et am sick that I cannot love thee â—here wilt thou give me thy love â—dmission to more familiar fellowship â—earâ—r manifestation sensible feeling â—nd assurance of thy love and affectiâ—n unto me that I am beloved of â—hee Give me grace to love the Lord â—esus in sincerity let him dwell in my â—eart by Faith and Love that being â—â—oted and grounded in Love I may be â—ble to comprehend with all Saints â—hat is the breadth and length and â—epth and heighth and to know the â—ove of Christ which passes knowledge â—hat the remembrance of him may pierce â—e with grief transport me with love captivate my will engage all my affections to him and for him And let me knoâ— I am passed from death to life because love the Brethren Shed abroad thâ— love in my cold frozen heart and inflaâ—â— it with fervent affection to thee and thing While my love is burning towards thâ— self oh how can it chuse but be imparâ—â— to thy Friends who sincerely love theâ— and on whom thou hast set thy heart arâ—shed thy love thy spirit whereby the are made like unto thee They mâ—â— needs be lovely in my eyes to whoâ— Christ is pretious Oh let me not conâ—â— to this Love-feast with a bitter but chanâ—â— table spirit Purge out therefore tâ—â— old leven of malice which will sow the Ordinance to me Oh that our Fâ—ther in Heaven may look down upon 〈◊〉 children feasting together in mutual loâ—â— and delight in the remembrance of 〈◊〉 that love he hath shewn us and joyâ—â— expectation of what further he hath pâ—â—mised to us Let me not sit sad aâ— dejected Joy and Thanksgiving as if I liked 〈◊〉 the provision or though my self not welcom Maâ—â— this real magnificent solemn sumptuous Feast these Celestial Viands wherewith thou feedest thy people by thy gracious comfortable discoveries of thy self a spiritual banquet unto my soul a feast of fat things a feast of wine on the lees of fat things full of marrow of wine on the lees well refin'd Do not onely stand and knocks but open the door of my heart vouchsafe to come in and abide with me that there may be a chearful comfortable converse sup with me and let me sup with thee that I may be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house feel and find abundance of soul-satisfaction reached out to me in the Ordinance and do thou make me drink of the River of thy pleasure quench my thirst after carnal and let me be fill'd with Divine pleasures ravishments and contentments flowing from the inexhaustible fountain of Divine plentie Let my soul be satisfied as with marrow and fatness and my mouth praise thee with joyful lips Let me come before thee with thanksgiving and praise thee with my whole heart Let there be Angels work at Angels food make me joyful in thy house of prayer By and for him let me offer the Sacrifice of Praise to God the fruit of my lips giving thanks unto his Name in the great Congregation and Praise thee among much People Thou art ready to give bread to the hungry to fill them with good things Spiritual Thirst and the water of life to him that is athirst Thou art not straitned in thy self but I am straitned in my own bowels the desire and the meat the necessity and relief are all from thee Oh thou that providest Food give also a stomach bid and make me welcom say eat oh Friend drink yea drink abundantly oh Beloved Oh create and stir up in me earnest longings and a Spiritual appetite that I may come to be made partaker of the good things thou hast prepared for me with enlarged affections and longing desires after answerable to my need of the Ordinance and Christ offered in it as full nourishment for my Soul under the forms of Bread and Wine and with strong expectations to receive him and his benefits with desire let me desire to eat this Passeover
mollifie the most obdurate sinner Oh that I could feel the vertue and power of it dissolving this rock into a fountain of tears a relenting frame a heart of flesh My lusts and Corruptions are many and mighty too strong for me but not for thy self As in the first Adam's sin man died legally so in the second Adam's death sin died virtually He suffered to save his people from their sins that himself and not sin should have dominion over us Shall not that blood mortifie my pride worldliness inordinate affections which shall subdue the whole body of sin shall I reproach or make void his death unto my own Soul or by continuance in sin that brought so great a punishment on so great a person be a greater enemy to him then the Jews were How shall we that are dead to sin live any longer therein knowing this that our Old man is crucified with him that the body of sin might be destroyed that henceforth we should not serve sin Oh that I may henceforth find and reckon my self to be dead unto sin but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord Oh how am I tempted and assaulted that I am sometimes ready to say I shall one day fall by my spiritual enemies but Faith gives us a share in the victories of Christ having spoyled all Principalities and Powers he made a shew of them openly triumphing over them as our enemies in on the Cross his triumphant Chariot took away from them all possibility to hurt though they assault us still we are assured of an absolute victory The accuser of the Brethren is cast down which accused them before God day and night and they overcome by the Blood of the Lamb that hath quenched the flames of divine fury and all our enemies are reconciled or subdued Ah my Lord how often doth sin and the world deadden my heart and affections towards thee O how dull how indisposed that I cannot pray with life nor be lively in thy service but this blood was shed to set Prisoners free and is the life of all our duties graces and comforts Oh that its power and efficacy may quicken and enliven me may put vivacity and activity in me that I may pray and hear receive meditate and discourse of spiritual things with freedom and liberty liveliness and chearfulness Oh that I may no more as I have too too often disbelieve or question the promises of this life or that to come For this Blood ratifies and confirms the Covenant of grace not only purchased but assures us of all good things Christ's Will and Testament wherein he hath bequeathed such precious legacies to his people is now of force for a Testament is of force after the Testator is dead Oh how ought it to affect me for the betraying of innocent Blood he was holy harmless undefiled separate from sinners in his hands no wickedness in his heart no sin no guile found in his mouth I and my brethren are guilty but for this spotless Lamb what hath he done and where there is no sin thou inflictest no punishment But he was numbred with the Transgressors surely then the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all for the transgression of my people was he smitten by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justifie many for he shall bear their iniquities Oh! I take thee at thy word and do believe all my sins with all thine Elects were imputed to our surety and the wages of sin inflicted on him that we might be fully acquitted and discharged I am guilty of many aggravated sins and am the greatest of sinners but with thee is plenteous redemption through Christ Jesus who shed his Blood not because we were Righteous but to make us So of infinite vertue and merit as sufficient for me as if none else were justified or saved by it He is able to save to the utmost all that come unto thee by him Oh how small how imperfect are my Graces how cold my Love how weak my Faith How faint my desires after thee but the least degree of Grace is the fruit of this Blood Oh that I may find it's efficacy perfecting that good work thou hast begun in me from strengh to strength till grace be consummated â—n Glory Through the Blood of the Eternal Covenant make me perfect in every good work to do thy will working in me that which is well-pleasing in thy sight Oh what trifles disturb my charitable affections how interrupted and inconstant my love to those who by one spirit are all baptized into one body but Christ hath reconciled us in one body by the Cross having slain the enmity thereby Oh that henceforth I may be of one heart with his Disciples and love them as he hath loved us Our God is a Consuming Fire which I cannot but dread having so much fuel about me and within me but in thy Son I see flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone who gave himself for us And shall the sentence of thy judgment disannul the merit of his sufferings of his satisfaction Didst thou not punish him that thou mightest spare us is it not as great a necessity of thy Satisfied Justice to spare the sinner as it was of thy offended Justice to punish the sin Thou art not only reconcilable but desirous to become our friend Oh how comfortable are those words of thine to my guilty Soul the Father judgeth no man but hath committed all judgement to the Son his first coming was in the flesh when he took on him our nature his second in the spirit when he imparted unto us of his spirit his third will be in power when he shall communicate to us his glory his first was to redeem his second to comfort his third will be to reward us If we be careful not to offend he will not be extreme to mark what we do amiss He will proceed not according to the Law which requires an absolute obedience without sin and will condemn all that have been guilty of any sin but according to the Gospel which admits of repentance for the forgiveness of sin and will condemn none but the unbelieving and impenitent sinner Damnation is denounced not for breaking the Law but rejecting the Gospel He is faithful because he hath promised and just because his Son hath purchas'd forgiveness The same sentence shall be pronounced as is past already in the Gospel Whosoever be-believes in him shall not perish but have ever-everlasting life Sin hath shut us out of paradise but â—e blood of Christ hath opened the Kingâ—om of Heaven to all believers It gives us â—ere a right and hereafter an admission â—â—rough this Red Sea we enter into the â—eavenly Canaan and for this cause he 〈◊〉 the Mediator of the New Testament â—hat by means of death for the redemption of the transgressions that were under â—he first Testament they which are called might receive the promise of eternal inheritance And he that
holes in his side Oh what fight a fire a flame of love did I see in his blessed Heart and my self pourtray'd upon it my name among the rest oh with what joy and comfort to my Soul he hath set me as a Seal upon his Heart love is strong as death many waters of affliction cannot quench it nor the floods of trouble or persecution drown it might all the pleasures profits honours of the world be given for it it would be utterly despised Oh how easie find I his yoke how light his burthen methinks I could watch or pray do or suffer more believingly more couragiously than ever It was the voice of my Beloved that knocked saying open unto me my Sister my Love my Dove my Undefiled he put in his hands by the holes of the door and my bowels were moved for him my Soul failed when he spake I sought him in every part of the Ordinance and he was found of me I called him and he gave me answer I sate under his shadow with great delight and his fruit was sweet to my taste He brought me to the Banqueting house and his Banner over me was Love His left hand is under my head and his right hand doth embrace me A bundle of Myrrh is my Beloved unto me he shall lye all night betwixt my Breasts he shall be still in my heart by affection and Faith I will make him my continual joy comfort and refreshment and solace my self in him in all estates Oh that his name may be graven upon my heart and his Image remain fair and lively upon my Soul Oh that I may find a kind of unwillingness to admit of any other company when I come to converse with other things let me still be looking towards him as my only desire good and happiness let my heart be so filled with him that other objects may not come near or make any strong impression on me Oh that some lively coles of that holy fire kindled at the Ordinances may be still glowing in my Soul that the savour and tincture of it may be never done away Oh how can any other pleasure seem any more pleasant to me Can I desire the husks the Swine do eat when there is such Bread in my Fathers house no man having drunk old wine straightway desireth new for he saith the old is better Sure he hath been little affected nor had any taste of Gods sweetness presently to relish worldly things to wash off his palate the savour of spiritual with sensual or secular thoughts Abrupt chopings off from Holy Duties is such a quenching of the spirit as tends much to hardning the heart such sudden quenchings of spiritual heat got in an Ordinance cannot be without much danger to the Soul motions so quite opposite are as prejudicial as unbecoming Is it fit or seemly to leave the company of our Lord so soon as we have let him in and divert to other occasions associate our selves to other persons now we have newly given him our Faith and taken him as the Bridegroom of our Souls and not rather delight in the presence of our new love and keep our heart from cooling by laying on new fuel turning the remainder of this day into an after supper a second Communion In reviewing and being humbled for our coldness distractions miscarriages In blessing God for the liberty and opportunity of a Sacrament and the priviledges thereby confer'd upon us in ruminating on and retaining the savor of those pleasant things we have been entertained with exceedingly gladded in the sense of that love we have been tasting and celebrating in the belief of that pardon we have received in the hopes of that Grace and Glory that hath been assured to us In considering the obligations we have laid on our selves In heavenly discourses with our beloved in expressions of our love and affection towards him acts of desire after inseparable union with and greater likeness unto him in vows and promises we will alwayes be faithful and loyal to him in entertaining him with acts of love and delight thanks and praise with the best chear we are able to make our new our beloved guest in commending his beauty praising him for his kindness and favours extolling his riches admiring his perfections and graces talking with him about the affairs of our Soul in opening to him every room in it leading him into the most private recesses of our heart shewing him all the secrets of it acquainting him with all our wants and weaknesses spreading before him all our desires and fears hopes and griefs In praying for help and assistance to be steadfast in his Covenant interceding with him for all mankind especiall our Fellow Communicants In telling him again all we have is his in tying a new knot upon the band of the Covenant between us craving him pardon for our follies desiring him not to be offended at the dark and noisome hole into which we have brought him entreating him with all loves that he will not take exception at his poor entertainment even charming him to stay and dwell with us by all the songs of praise and thankfulness we can devise Subsequent Duties after the Sacrament AND now my utmost care and diligence is required to express the power and efficacy of the Ordinance in living more fruitfully religiously watchfully in making good my vows and promises at the Sacrament That heart and life therefore may be sutable to my Sacramentall obligations and may witness the good received in and by it oh my Soul Make a solemn reflection on thy self and entertainment How was my heart and behaviour before God what welcom did he give me Reflection is necessary after every duty what good have I got what warmth of affection what more love to desire after delight and confidence in God what greater ability and love to discharge duty to bear affliction to resist temptation to walk in Gods ways so especially after the Sacrament was my Heart hard dull indisposed I must then suspect my miscarriage in preparation or performance and labour to find out be truely sensible of greatly bewaile and humble judge and condemn my self and beg pardon for the cause earnestly importune him that he would now help me by Prayer and Humiliation to recover the benefit of the Ordinance that I may by an after act do that which I should have done before Sorrow for and sense of our senslesness is one fruit of Christs death we undoubtedly receiv'd in the Ordinance We may not judge of our gain by and profit in duty by our present feeling or that the only evidences of Communion and acceptance with God are our Souls lifted up and ravished with sensible joys our uprightness and sincerity in the performance of our duties and in our covenanting with God and continuing stedfast therein may administer most ground of comfort when we reflect upon it for we were then really acceptable to him that look'd down upon us and received from
my former receiving when it left not earnest breathings for the like opportunity was it possible for me to meet with God to taste the sweetness the fulness of Christ to experience the reachings forth of my love and desires the pleasures of acting grace and not long for another meeting By thy grace I will therefore communicate with more devotion repent with greater contrition walk with more caution pray more earnestly receive with more reverence and I doubt not but I shall find my affections encrease together with the Spiritual benefit The frequent solemn exercise of our graces must needs dispose strongly to Habitual ones and hugely promote the Interest of Religion It cannot be that the Sacrament be undervalued by frequent repetitions without great unworthiness of the person setting light by and loathing spiritual Manna and an unworthy Communication for he that receives worthily encreases in the love of God and of Religion and the fires of the Altar are apt to kindle into a flame and when our Lord enters into us and we grow weary of him or less fond of his frequent entrance and perpetual cohabitation 't is an infallible sign we have or are ready to let in his Enemy no Secular object hath any pleasure in it long beyond the hope of it for the possession and enjoyment is found so empty that we grow weary of it but whatsoever is spiritual is less before we have it but in the fruition swells our desires enlarges the Appetite and makes us more receptive and forward in the Entertainment Nor is it likely they will suffer for who refuse to banquet with him They proclaim they have no portion in David no inheritance in the Son of God Oh he qualms of undesirous Communicants should justly stir up the faithful to loath it in themselves Habitual Preparation THe death of Christ in regard of his intent was a Sacrifice to God but of the Jews the greatest crueltie and murder When a prophane person comes he sheds the blood of Christ which a Believer receives and by Faith feeding on it being one with Christ makes as great satisfaction to God as if he had suffered to Eternitie This new wine must not be put into an old vessel else the wine will be spilt and the vessel perish Christ and Belial cannot cohabit he will not enter through a besmear'd door nor dwell in a nasty house Feet that walk in filthy paths are not to tread his holy place nor a heart full of rancour hatred uncharitableness to sit down at this feast of love Hands dipt in blood polluted with unlawful gains stain'd with spots of the flesh or stretched out to injure him in his members are most unfit to be reached forth to receive him in the Sacraments to handle those holy mysteries Those Teeth that grind the face of the poor to eat the bread of Angels the Mouth that 's full of rotten corrupt communication evil speaking reviling or that thirsts after the blood of our neighbour to drink the Blood of Christ Eyes gazing on vanity to look on Jesus Oh how pure ought I to keep those doors of my Soul at which the King of Glory so often enters Shall I kiss his hand with filthy lips put hallowed bread and wine into a noysom sink go to that Table as Swine to their trough in my pollution ravish contemn the grace and mercy of God tear them asunder from the conditions he hath annexed to them He will not be one with an Harlot nor seen with the same eyes His Body never saw Corruption nor will be mixed with it It lay in a Virgin Womb and Sepulchre and still resides only in Virgin Souls Devoted Consecrated set apart to his use and service His glorified body is no more capable of dishonour nor will enter into an earthly soul Unclean birds receive nothing but the Carcass of the Ordinance the Bread without the Body the Wine without the Blood both without the blessing the Elements but not the Sacraments such are guilty of his Body and Blood for reaching out their hand with purpose to receive him into a polluted soul though he withdraw himself that they cannot partake of him They disgrace their Prince by shewing it to his Statue erected for his honour and remembrance are guilty of Treason by offering Indignity to his Seal and Picture dishonour done to the Image and representation reflects upon the Original he is personally in Heaven and will be no where Sacramentally but in the Heavenly part of man he finds no rest in a heart full of vain vitious thoughts it stinks like the lake of Sodom he retires thence vexed with the unclean Conversation of the impure Inhabitants When he approaches to a soul and finds it a Cage of unclean Birds he flyes with the wings of a Dove to cleaner and whiter Habitations But if we avoid hate and have no fondness of affection for them and with complacency entertain the contrary then Christ hath washed our feet and then he invites us to his Supper The unavoidable infirmities of our lives against which we daily strive and for which we never have any kindness or affection are not spots in these feasts of Charitie but instruments of Humility and stronger invitations to come to Rites ordain'd for corroboratives gainst infirmities and for growth in the inner man But remanent affection to a sin enmitie with neighbours secular avocations to the height of care and trouble excuse not but increase mens sin and secure their misery 'T is just they graze with Goats that refuse to wash their hands that they may come to the Supper of the Lamb. The excuses wherewith they palliate their neglects of waiting upon our Lord and accepting his kindness all grow upon this bitter root of an unholy careless life loving the world and the lusts thereof the only reason is they have a mind to live as strangers to him and not to be his houshold servants and domesticks for then they might always come unto him They think they must not come so oft because to prepare themselves costs them so much time but would they spare so much as to lead a holy life and be at so much trouble as to please God in other things they would not find it so laborious to please him in this Kept they always a fear of God in their Souls they would without much pains be fit to approach with fear and reverence into his presence would they fear to do what God hath forbidden they would not fear to do what he hath commanded but while they refuse to obey him in one thing no wonder they do in another Religion concerns not our actions only but the frame and disposition of our hearts and minds and the same habitual graces are to be daily exercis'd though in a lower measure and degree Every day is to be holy to the Lord though every action in the day be not equally holy When we labour conscienciously to stand to our first Promise and
open my mouth wide that thou may'st fill it As the Hart panteth after the water-brook so let ray soul pant after thee O God The Evening Close AND now oh gracious God leave me not to the dulness the deadness the hardness the impenitency the unbelief â—he barrenness the earthliness the impoâ—â—ency the distraction of my own Heart Oh enrich the Ordinance with thy own â—resence While the King sitteth at his Taâ—le let my Spikenard send forth the smell â—hereof Descend into my heart by the exâ—â—tations of thy grace and influences of thy by and let me ascend unto thee by the exâ—â—cise of grace pious addresses Awake â—â—ou North wind and come thou South â—ow upon my Garden that the Spices â—â—ereof may flow out Make every grace 〈◊〉 my soul lively active fragrant by the â—eathings inspirations of thy Holy Spiâ—â—t O abide with me because it draweth â—wards the time of receiving what do I there thou be not there If thy presence go not â—â—ong with me carry me not hence Let Christ â—â—pear unto and be known of me in breaking of Bread let me carry away not only Bread but Light Life and Health that with open face beholding as in a glass the glory the love the mercy and goodness of the Lord I may be changed into the same image from glory to glory even as by the Spirit of the Lord. O let me remember and do thou remember what thy Son hath suffered that I may be thankful and thou so sensibly gracious unto me that I maâ— taste and see how good the Lord is I am altogether unworthy of my desires 〈◊〉 but what thou dost for any is not becausâ— they are worthy but because it pleaseth thâ—â— to do for thine what they ask of thee according to thy will With what confidence go we to Market with money in our hand we doubt not returning withouâ— our errand Oh we would come as confidently expecting the giving out of gracâ— to us as if we were able to putchase it for thou hast bid us come buy Wine anâ— Milk without money and without price and hast promis'd and art more willing 〈◊〉 give the spirit to them that ask it thâ—â— Parents Bread to their Children whiâ—â— they cannot deny whatever shift thâ—â— make for it our love to our Children 〈◊〉 but hatred our compassion hardness our bowels rocks in comparison of thine to thine why then wilt thou not hear me Turnest thou a deaf ear to me Canst thou deny me Did any of the seed of Jacob seek thy face in vain Who ever approacht to this over-flowing Fountain of sweetness but carried away some drops â—or sat by so great a flame and receiv'd not some warmth from it why then lyes my Soul so cold so frozen so dead before thee O wilt thou not relieve a hungry beggar wilt thou not grant the request of an â—mportunate Petitioner Shall I go away â—mpty from an inexhaustible Treasure Hungry from a Feast Dry from a Fountain Cold from the Sun Sad and comâ—ortless from a Feast of Love Oh! â—ake it a type and earnest of our Eternal â—anquet Feed me to that by Faith and Love and seal me to it in Spirit and Conâ—ience let me enjoy thy lightsom reviâ—â—ng company in this state of absence and â—bscurity Away my Soul from this â—â—rk deceitful vexing world love not â—â—y Disease thy Fetters thy Calamities â—yn not with those that take up their rest 〈◊〉 this side Heaven saying it is good to be here Wo is me that I sojourn in Mesech that I dwell in the Tents of Kedar that I remain in this sinful polluting place among a strange people and am kept so long from my Fathers House Oh that I had wings like a Dove then would I slie away and be at rest lo then would I wander far off as legs and wings could carry me and remain in the wilderness I would live in the solitariest place of the Earth for my greater freedom from sin and enjoyment of my God This flattering vexing world should soon see me quit it my base heart should soon be 〈◊〉 of me rather than undergo their uncessant troubles I would hasten my escapâ— from the windy storm and tempest Oh wretched man that I am who shall deliver me from the body of this death 〈◊〉 Which so oft troubles grieves and over-clouds me distracts hinders me allureâ— and intangles me When shall I have done trifling and dallying roving and repining fretting and disputing Wheâ—â— shall I onely talk and walk with thee be composed and fixed Spiritual anâ— Heavenly love chuse and obey thee delight rejoyce joy and glory in thee Oh when wilt thou unloose the cords of this tottering Tent When shall this Mud-wall crumble into dust When shall my earthly house of this tabernacle be dissolved When shall I be carried to those eternal mansions Why is his Chariot so long in coming Why tarry the wheels of his Chariot Hath he not sped Hath he not divided his gifts Hath he not obtained his purchase Hath he not prepared a place for me Shall I ever be at home in the bodie and absent from the Lord Make haste O thou whom my soul loveth and come in glorie as thou first camest in humilitie and conform them to thy self in glorie whom thou makest conformable to thy sufferings and humility Keep up our faith our hope and our love by the exercise of them let us have our Conversation with thee in Heaven and daily vouchsafe us some beams of thy directing consolatorie light in this our darkness and be not as a stranger to thy scattered Flock thy disconsolate Spouse in this distant state this desolate Wilderness O shew thy self more clearly to us testifie to our Souls that thou art our Head and Saviour that we abide in thee by the Spirit which thou hast given us abiding and overcoming in us and as thy Agent preparing us for eternal Life Let not our darkness nor thy strangeness feed our odious unbelief nor my corrupt habits choak or smother my new resolutions and sweet meditations These weak wavering thoughts these faint desires these sickly affections in my Soul will not live a night unless my gracious God interpose his Power preserve and cherish them Oh seeing thou hast given me to bestow some small pains on my Heart and to conceive some good hopes let them not be dasht in pieces in so short a moment spread the wings of thy goodness over me and maintain that which not I but thy Spirit hath wrought in me let me find all when I awake let me still be with thee O blessed Trinity to whom be ascribed Kingdom Power and Glory now and for ever Amen The Communion Morning Dress AH where am I what do I all the Children of the Bride-chamber are â—p and ready and I slumbring in my Bed Tell me ye Fairest what made you up so early and drest so soon Aâ—â—as our Lord was up before us all â—e call'd us up by
Saviour my greatest care and caution love and labour then in his service And inflamed with Love And how shall I put my heart into a flame of love a frame to meet him better then by considering the wonder of his love unto me Oh how free unmerited disinterested preventing not onely our desires but our knowledge surpassing our wishes as well as our deserts He loved us first Had we deplor'd our Apostacie implor'd his Grace reform'd our Ways return'd before invited made the first overtures of Reconciliation with him this had carried something of inducement for procuring his love but that he who had receive the injury should address himself to him that did it that the offended party should pray and beseech the offender to be reconciled that he whose right was to punish should first offer terms of grace and pardon to them that had done him all the wrong and make Compensation of it to himself Herein is love not that we loved him but that he loved us first even before we had a Being so little could we deserve it that our felicitie in his Decrees preceded our existence in the world His goodness is so entirely its own principle and motive that even out Creation since which alone we can pretend to merit it is the effect of it as well as our Redemption When no eye pittyed no person interceded no hand could relieve he visited and redeemed us unable to add to or diminish his essential happiness If thou sinnest what doest thou unto him if thou be righteous what givest thou him our best services are dues not tributes not to advantage him but to discharge our selves as acknowledgments we have all from him He doth us good not because we are but he liberally so The fire we kindle on God's Altar warms and enlightens us but not Heaven at so distant a remove not is wanted in the Regions of this Sun which shines upon us Dunghils not out of any invitation his Beams find there but because 't is his Nature to be freely obligingly diffusive nor is disturbed or loses its light but we by turning away our eyes or sending up the black and noysom vapours of our lusts I cannot but stand amazed at the low stoop of thy Sacred Majesty in matching with so mean so base so stain'd a Family Thou tookst not on thee the nature of Angels but the seed of Abraham They are bound in chains of darkness whilest thou art drawing us with cords of Love thou spared not them and spared not thy Son for us What admiration and astonishment can answer thy boundless condeseension that thou who hadst married infinitely below thy self if with the most spotless antientest honourablest House of thy Creatures should take polluted dust and ashes into thy bosom yea thou passest by all others as Nettles and Thorns while thy Church is in thy eye as the Rose of Sharon and the Lillie of the Vallies He loved us when Enemies not only when we were not at all incapable of being a motive in his love but worthy of his detestation To have spared our lives had been an unexpected undeserved mercy who finds his enemy and slays him not was ever eye enamored on deformity or love set upon filthiness and putrefaction But behold I running away from him hating of him he loving me following of me intreating my return I undoing he pitying my soul finding his arms open to embrace me against whom I was lifting up my hand for when we were without strength Christ dyed for the ungodly and as foul as ugly as loathsom as forlorn as sin could make me espoused me to himself opened his Heart to lodge in it his profest Enemy that trod him under foot his Bowels yearned toward those who raked into them with their bloody hands his Heart burnt with affection to those that cruelly pierced it when we were fighting he was dying when we had the weapons in our hand he had the spear in his side Herein God commended his love to us in that while we were sinners Christ dyed for us shewed as great love and kindness to the greatest Enemy as could be shewen to the greatest Friend and receiv'd me not to mercy only but to the Endearment of a Son That the General should dye for the Souldier the Physitian for the Patient the Workman for the Work the Pastor for the Flock the Master for the Servant the Just for the Vnjust the Innocent for the Guilty the Shepherd for the Sheep the Prince for the Rebel the Lord of Glory for the Children of Disobedience he that was without all sin for him that was without all Righteousness God for Man to wound a Darling to stanch the Blood of a Traytor for the Judge to pardon and put himself into the Malefactor's cloaths and stead and suffer for him to dye for those that killed him and bleed to wash his own blood from their hands that spilt it with the kind Balsom Tree whose healing wounds weep soveraign Balsom to cure those that made them that he should interpose his own Breast to receive in those arrows of vengeance aim'd at us and that while professing our selves his Enemies and proclaiming War against him to spare our lives lose his own that he should so love us as to give himself for us is such a so loving us as makes the highest Hyperbole dwindle into a Meiosis He loved us unto death No sooner born then persecuted nor circumcised then design'd for the slaughter Behold the God of Heaven flying in a womans arms from the rage of a weak Man the God of Israel driven to be nursed out of the bosom of his Church He that made the Heaven of Heavens subject to if not busily working in the homely trade of a poor Foster-father The owner of all possessing nothing but the punishment due unto our fins He that commands the Devils to their chains transported and tempted by that presumptuous Spirit God all-sufficient exposed to hunger and thirst weariness and danger grief and contempt reproaches affronts and calumnies blasphemed of those whose God he had always been in a peculiar manner streightned in the womb vexed in the world abased from the Cratch to the Cross rejected by Churls persecuted by Wretches tempted by Reprobates and yet the Son of Man must suffer many things be sold and caught â—ound and drag'd arraign'd and condemâ—ed stript and scourged revil'd and beâ—mear'd pierc'd and gor'd and then it is â—â—nished Thou seemest now O Blessed Reâ—eemer to have finished in thy passion what thou hadst continually suffered in the whole course of thy life How many slaves â—nder the vassalage of an enemy fare better â—hen thou from ungrateful Man whom â—hou camest to save Thy whole life was but a continual passion thy birth and death but one protracted act Christmas Day and Good Friday but the evening and mornâ—ng of thy passion thou foundest a Golgoâ—ha even in Bethlehem others die Martyrs but thou born one among beasts and â—iv'd
more constantly more effectually remember thee With all the passionate affections of a Heart full of love to wholly in love with thee with all zealous desires to glorifie thee with all fervent longings after thee always to remember thee never to forget thee Oh that the fire of love would now kindle and burn in my Soul boil up even run over with love unto thee Oh that I had the flames of a Seraphim the voice of an Angel to sing thy praise Oh that I could go out of my self when I remember thee and never think of thee without an Extasie forget and quit all the world to live upon thee The thoughts of what thou hast done is able to break an heart of Marble with love to turn a Rock into a Fountain of tears to unloose the tongue of the dumb that they may sound forth thy loving kindness Oh after all his foregoing sufferings feest thou him not my Soul fastened to the Cross conflicting with his Fathers wrath groaning under the weight and burthen of our Sins Look how his whole Body is stretched and tentered his Hands and Feet bored through his precious Blood trickles down and how miserably the Thorns pierce his holy Head See how his Looks are changed his Cheeks pale his Bloud going his Neck too weak to support his Head which lies a dying on his bleeding Breast Look how he shakes and stirs his dying Limbs what gasps and sighs he fetches as if his Soul was strugling to get out Hear you not his dying groans the taunts of the Jews yea the groans of the Earth under the weight of his Cross See the Sun blushing under a veil of darkness to behold the Son of Righteousness under an Eclipse Can oh can my bosom hold now I see the innocent Lamb of God that taketh away the sins of the world a bleeding Victim on the purple Alter of Death This this my Soul might have been the day that thou mightest have been the Malefactor and have drunk the cup of the fierceness of Gods wrath but there is he that hath done it for thee He harboured no grief of his own but is acquainted with the just and deadly griefs of others he takes our sorrows on him to bestow upon us his joy he sorrows for us that hath neither cause nor likelihood to sorrow for himself What but Gods implacable vengeance could inflict What but his all-sufficient patience could endure What but mans heinous sins deserve such his sad and wrathfull dolors Ah sinful wretches 't is our doings that he suffers our evil but his smart our trespass his punishment His breast is made a large receptable for our cares his back a common prop unto our load he was delivered for our offences he was slain but not for himself he bore our grief and carried our sorrows he was wounded for our trangressions bruised for our iniquities for the transgressions of his people was he smitten Why then are we angry with rail against the Jews and complain not of find no fault with our selves greatlier guilty they were the instruments we the procurers of his sufferings their sins practis'd ours provoked his death we pity his abus'd innocency but think not of our unworthiness and desert bewail the event and redress not the cause we have as great enmity against his Image as they against his Person they grieved him in his Body we in his Spirit and make his wounds bleed afresh he takes it as heinously we should despise him now as that they persecuted him then they were but our Executioners to inflict these punishments our sins deserved and Gods justice imposed on him 'T was thy Sins O my Soul were the associates to crucifie him thy hypocrisie was the kiss that betrayed him thy pride and covetousness the Thorns that crowned him thy oppression and cruelty the nails that pierced him thy unbelief and apostacy the spear that gored him thy Idolatry superstition Juke warmness the knee that mockt him thy contempt of Religion the spittle that defiled him thy anger and bitterness the vinegar and gall that distasted him thy scarlet sins the crimson that dishonoured him my drinking iniquity like water made him drink a Cup of wrath my forsaking my Father made him forsaken of his all the members of his body were objects of such cruelty because mine instruments of iniquity Oh I am the merit of thy sorrow I am the stroke of thy grief I am the fault of thy killing I am the desert of thy death I am the offence of thy revenge I am the grievousness of thy passion I am the cause of thy torment Oh wonderful condition of censure Oh ineffable disposition of the misery the unjust sins and the just is punished the guilty transgresses and the guiltless is stricken the impious offends and the pious condemn'd what the bad deserves the good suffers what the servant perpetrates the Lord pays what man commits God undergoes Whither oh Son of God whither descends thy Humility Whither flameth thy Charity whither proceedeth thy Pity whither encreaseth thy Benignity whither reacheth thy Love whither cometh thy Compassâ—on I have been proud thou hast been humbled I have done unjustly thou art punished I have dealt heinously thou art revengefully smitten I have committed the fault thou art tortured How much do I owe thee most Blessed Redeemer how great is the price thou hast paid for me miserable Sinner Oh I blush to see my Soul so foul and loathsom that nothing less then thy precious blood serves to wash and cleanse it I am confounded to see thee in such a case for us who cared not how vile how base how miserable we were Oh how was that justice injured that could not rest appeased in Punishment but rigour how odious and intolerable is every sin which required no cheaper blood for a Sacrifice then that of the Son of God and which not suffering only but extremity must expiate how heinous was the commission since even the remission was so grievous That made such a breach between God and us as requir'd such sufferings of the Lord of Glory wretch that I am to cost my God so dear I am not worthy for which he should have suffered the least care or trouble much less the torments of Soul and Body And yet what mean I to be so treacherous unto him How have I broken his commands and my vows even since the last Communion Oh can I Kiss the nails hug the spear desire that which is the blood of him that lost his life Can I account that light which made his Soul heavy unto death Can that be my joy which made him a wan of sorrow sweet to me which was so bitter to him shall those sins not be forsaken by me that made him forsaken of God or live in me that would not suffer him to live in the world Oh can I endure my Lord should be evermore disgusted and affronted oh how is my heart provoked and incens'd against ye my
my Duty walked unanswerable to those multiplied obligations laid upon me broken all thy holy Commandments by many and great transgressions made and judged my self unworthy of everlasting life * Here mention your particular failings so that nothing might remain unto me but a fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation to devour me But thou delightest in mercy and not in the death of a sinner art not willing any should perish but that all should come to repentance Oh take not counsel of thy just indignation but of thy native goodness thy satisfi'd justice Wilt thou destroy him that presents himself to be punished and thy Son to have satisfied that desires not to live unless it be by the benefit of thy mercy and his sufferings Wilt thou not spare me for thy Son who sparedst not thy Son for me Is there not enough in his Merits and Sacrifice to expiate all my sins and to justifie my person in thy sight O suffer not thy self to be deprived of the glory of my forgiveness and salvation as well as of my creation and redemption Save me whom thou hast hitherto spared and forgive me eternal death which I have so often merited by my great offences Bury them all in the bottomless Ocean of thy own Mercy and forgetfulness and my Saviours Blood lay them upon him who is able to bear them and cloath me with his righteousness that is able to cover me Oh free me from the guilt and stain the power and penalty the reign and dominion of sin that nothing may separate me from thy love nor from the sensible discoveries of it at thy Table That I may be a meet and worthy Receiver accept me into thy favour let thy mercy pardon my sins thy grace sanctifie my soul thy goodness supply my wants thy merits inrich my poverty thy precious blood wash away all my spots thy Holy Spirit prepare and direct and assist me Take away my filthy garments my spiritual filthiness and cloath me with the best robe the Lord our righteousness Oh think me worthy for his sake and make me worthy for thy mercy-sake Deal not with me according to my deserts but thy great goodness and my great necessity Let me so remember my sins that thou mayest forget them set them so before my face that thou mayest cast them behind thy back Give me such a lively steadfast Faith in Christ for forgiveness that thou mayest seal it up unto my soul Let me love him and all his members with a pure heart fervently at thy holy Communion and ever after without dissimulation So enlarge my Soul with spiritual affections and desires that it may even break for the longings it hath unto that Ordinance and unto thy Testimonies at all times Remove far from me all blindness of mind hardness of heart unrelenting affections deadness and indisposedness earthliness and distraction irreverence unbecoming apprehensions whatsoever may hinder the blessing and efficacy of that soul-nourishing refreshing Ordinance thy gracious presence my eternal salvation Create in me an understanding heavenly clean heart O God and renew an humble contrite right spirit within me prepared for thee Oh be not as a stranger unto me hide not thy self from me lift up the light of thy countenance upon me Let me feel the comfortable breathings of thy Holie Spirit in my Soul at thy Ordinance sanctifie it to me and me to receive it acceptably with due preparation and apprehensions reverence and humility repentance and faith love and charity joy and thankfulness a deep sense of thy inexpressible love and my own unworthiness And oh that all of us who this day approach thy Table may so eat his flesh which he hath given for the life of the World that we may live for ever and so drink his blood that it may be to us for remission of sins Meet us not in our selves in thy justice as a consuming fire but a reconciled Father in thy righteous and beloved Son whom thou gavest who gave himself for us when we were thy enemies Let us depart thence more under the power of thy love and grace and under greater resolutions and abilities to do thee faithful service all our dayes through Jesus Christ our Sacrifice and Redemption Hope and Confidence Surety and Advocate the Food and Health the Life and Salvation of our Souls who hath taught us when we pray to say Our Father c. As soon as ever the Sermon is ended look towards the Lords Table and say within your selves THis Sacrament I am going to is a standing Memorial of my Saviour's Passion wherein he once offered up Himself to God and a Sign of that nourishing and strengthning Grace which he now offers to me under the notion of Food It is the true meanes and instrument of conveying on me those Blessings and signifies that which by its proper Institution it represents In the making and ordering of those Elements see consider O my Soul the heavy Blows and Bruises the Pressures Piercings Pains and Sufferings of thy Saviour from his Father and wicked men The malice and violence of his Murderers crucified Him as a Malefactor and the fierie wrath of God made him a Burnt Sacrifice and under both these Sufferings He is become to me Meat indeed and Drink indeed the stay and support the comfort refreshment and life of my Soul nourishing and preserving it to eternal life That Bread and Wine could never sustain and nourish me if the one had not fallen into the Earth under the Sickle the Flail the Mill-stone and the Fire the other under the Hook and the Press of the Husbandman nothing less then the Cross the Wounds the Death of my Lord my God of his dearest Son made me a Saviour and by this Sacrament assures me I shall be kept up and fed with a supplie of all necessarie Blessings as certainlie as he gives me to taste that Bread and Wine the ordinarie meanes for preserving my life and strength Whilest we condemned Creatures were passing on to our Execution the Son of God looked upon us and took our Condemnation upon Himself and under it died in our stead Thus by the death and satisfaction of this Sacrifice Justice gave way to my Release God the Father forgave my Sin and God the Son procured my Life Then fall upon your Knees with all imaginable Reverence and say LEt the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and my Redeemer Most gracious God who of thy great goodness hast ordained this Ordinance for a continual Remembrance ofâ— hat ever prevailing Sacrifice which thy infinite Wisdom and Love hast appointed and accepted upon the Cross for us vile helpless wretched Sinners make us truely sensible of all our offences against thee and of his Love and Sufferings for us and accept us in Him to the Praise of thy Grace Rebuke all unseasonable thoughts and imaginations stir up and act in us