bed of sickness breathing out his last faint breath and passing into the other world to answer for the Crimes and Follies of a wicked Life Lord revive these thoughts upon my Soul and let me feel the power and influence of them in the hour of Temptation and in every time of need and let the consideration of the death of Believers the Blessedness they are thereby entred into and the Happiness they are possessed of quicken my desires and diligence to prepare to follow When I think were they are and what they are doing what is their work and what their state what their continual imployment and what their enjoyments and how different from ours I cannot but wish to be with them to be as they are and do as they do to know and love and praise God as they They are not hindred by such a clog as this Body is to us or tempted by their senses appetite and fancy to sin against Him They complain not of a seducing Flesh unruly Passions low and disordered thoughts of temporal Afflictions spiritual Desertions the snares of the World and the malice and subtilty of the Devil We who are Pilgrims and Travellers are exposed to these difficulties and storms which they are freed from They are now rejoycing in the light of God's Countenance and shall never question his love more while we are in Tears and Sorrows groaning to be delivered But think O my Soul that They were lately such as We are now They were members of the militant Church before they entred into Joy and Triumph They had their conflicts and difficulties their hour of Temptation and time of Trial as we have ours They were slandered and persecuted and sadned and disappointed as their Followers are They went to Heaven the same way and got the victory after the same manner by Repentance and Faith and humble persevering Obedience They were once Imperfect as we are now and complained of the Body of Sin and Death and struglings of unmortified lust as we do And were sometimes in the dark about their interest in the promise and walked heavily by the hiding of God's face and indured Temptation even as we And as we have nothing to do or suffer but what they met with we have the same Encouragement that administred to their support the same God and Saviour the same way and rule the same Assistance by the aids of his Holy Spirit offered to us the same promises and the same rewards proposed which they enjoyed first in faith and hope and afterwards in fruition Yea they passed through the dark valley and so must we Their Earthly tabernacle was dissolved and so must ours be We must expect to go the same way to Rest and Glory and wait God's time for our admission We must finish first the work which God hath for us to do and suffer and then all Tears shall be wiped from our eyes we shall grieve no more we shall sin no more but be as the Angels in Heaven or as the Spirits of the Just made Perfect SECT XIII What Influence the Consideration of Eternity would have upon our Hearts and Lives if soundly believed and considered especially if the supposition of Dying this year be annexed to it WIth what Humility Mortification and Self-denial what Seriousness Watchfulness and resolved Constancy would every Christian Live on Earth did he act always under the influence and power of a confirmed Faith concerning the Life to come We should not then grudge at a little labour or boggle at a few difficulties in our Way What tho' I meet with injuries and affronts hardships and inconveniences being now in a Forreign Country and every day I live one Days journey nearer my Eternal Home Shall I not patiently bear momentany Sorrows while I believe I am hastening to Eternal Joy Did I look more to the Everlasting World should not I make the pleasing of God in order to my Eternal welfare the great business of my Life Should I not serve the Lord with more fervency of Spirit and be better fortified against the fears of Man who can but hurt and kill the Body nor that neither without the permission of God Shuld I not order all my affairs answer all Temptations mortifie inward Lusts live in the Exercise of Grace and in circumspect persevering Obedience in order to it Should I not watch more over my Heart and Lips and Ways be more diligent to trim my Lamps more crucified to this world more careful to call my self frequently to an account and renew my Repentance Would not my Converse be more useful and edifying my Discourses more savory and full of Religion my Prayers to God more humble and earnest my Charity to Men more unfeigned and extensive and my Preparations every way more suitable to such a Faith and to such Apprehensions of an Everlasting State Could we carry the thoughts of Eternity about with us every day and often admit them in our civil and secular affairs did we repeat it frequently to our selves at least every Morning as soon as we are awake that we are near Eternity this grain of Incense would perfume the whole Temple and be an Antidote against inward Lust and impure thoughts against the infection and defilement of bad Company and the snares of worldly Business and do much to prevent vain and sensual actions and to cure vain affections Did we believe it and believe it near should we not take as much pains to secure Eternal Life as we see Men do to get riches Should we not use the same diligence care and circumspection the same prudent foresight watchfulness and perseverance to prevent Everlasting Destruction as others do to provide against Poverty and to live in Plenty a little while on Earth Should we not rejoyce as much in the promise and hopes of it as others do in the prospect and expectation of some Earthly Advantage Lord I confess and bewail the weakness of my Faith How often have I concluded and said that Heaven alone is the place of Happiness and yet my carnal Heart is too much affected with Earthly Things How often have I re-resolved upon the conviction of the certainty of the Eternal World to mind this less and to affect and seek it no more as I have done and yet my foolish Heart is hankering after it still O crucifie my Affections to things below and let the believing Thoughts of the next Life render me victorious over all the Temptations of this Pardon and cure the staggering trembling Thoughts of an unbelieving Heart by greater measures of a lively Faith That my desires may be strong and urgent and my diligence and stedfastness in the way of Truth be some way correspondent to this important Article Let me live only for Eternity hope for nothing but Eternity design and intend nothing as my chief end but Eternity and seek and mind nothing in comparison with Eternity Did we believe it how would every thing in this World
What will be the next Word O my Soul how much am I concerned to know it Will it be Blessedness or Misery Will it be Life or Death This one Word is the Joy of Angels and the Horror of Devils the Unspeakable Delight of Blessed Saints and the Confusion and Despair of Condemned Sinners At the Creation of the World Time got the start of us and was five days elder than we but our Immortal Souls shall endure beyond the utmost Limits of Time and last as long as the Everlasting Father of Spirits of whose Duration there is no End Shall I then exist and live though my Body perish and see Corruption Shall my Soul my Self exist beyond the Grave in Felicity or Misery and that for ever and according to my present Actions What am I then most concerned to mind What am I to chuse What am I most to fear to wish to do What is a Shadow of Honour and Reputation among dying Men What are a few Drops of fleshly Pleasure for a Moment to Eternal Rivers of Pleasure at God's right Hand What are the sufferings of an Hour or two to the Pains and Anguish of Eternity What can the World Flesh or Devil give me comparable to Eternal Life What can I suffer in the way of Holiness that may be set in the Balance against an Everlasting Hell And yet how often O my Soul how boldly how unconcernedly how foolishly do I hazard the One and forfeit the Other for the Sins and Vanities of this World Whereas one Prospect of Eternity should make every thing that is Temporal appear little in my Eyes The highest Elevations of Earthly Greatness Abundance of Riches the Great Affairs Business and Employments of the World Pomp and Splendor and Reputation and all that now flatters the Senses and the Vanity of Mankind Oh! that I could but live as believing and expecting an Eternal State as having it in my Eye managing all my Affairs with a Visible Reference to it discovering to all the World by my Behaviour and Deportment that I do in earnest believe it certain for be it never so Certain if I do not apprehend and consider it as such it will no more affect me than a Fable Neither is it enough to consider it as certain but as near For the most weighty the most terrible things apprehended as at a great distance will little move Thinking of the long Interval between the advantage of being exempted from such Evils for so long a time will please me more than such distant Calamities will affright Let me therefore endeavour to impress the consideration of Eternity as at hand more deeply on my Heart that I may walk and live discourse and pray and demean my self in every thing as near an unchangeable State Am I not convinced that this is certain from the nature and operations of my Soul from the reflections of Conscience from the Righteousness of God in his Government of the World from the present unequal distributions of Good and Evil by his Providence and from the plain and frequent assertions of his Revealed Will I have nothing to object nothing to reply but I find a necessity of inculcating and urging the consideration of it in order to its influence I find it needful to reflect often how near I am to such an endless State that in one Instant by Death I enter upon it And that this Instant may be as near me as my next Thoughts That the holy Scripture describes the two contrary Conditions after Death and every Man and Woman in the World shall share in one of them as both Everlasting the one by Eternal Life Eternal Glory an incorruptible Crown that fadeth not away an incorruptible Inheritance an House Eternal in the Heavens c. the other by unquenchable Fire a Prison whence no escape Eternal Damnation Everlasting Burning Everlasting Punishment Everlasting Destruction a Worm that never dies wrath that is ever to come blackness of darkness for ever ever c. Think O my Soul that in One of these two contrary States I must abide for ever in endless Joy or Sorrow Blessed in the Presence of God or for ever banished from it And whoever thou art that readest this apply it seriously to thy self 't is thine own case Yea I tell thee from God that Holiness of Heart and Life is absolutely Necessary to the former and that without it thou shalt never see his Face but be punished with Everlasting Destruction from the Presence of his Glory Is this an Unquestionable Truth O let me consider it till I feel the Power and Efficacy of so Important a Principle let the Impression be Deep and Lasting let it pierce and enter into my very Soul to cool the Heats of Lust to quench Sensual and Earthly desires and to mortifie all Inordinate Affections to this World and fix my Resolutions to mind and seek Eternal Life with all my Heart These are not difficult and perplexed Niceties which wise and holy Men differ and disagree about They are not Metaphisical Subtleties which few can understand but the express Word of God and the daily Dictates of my own Reason and Conscience which all Christians and almost all Men in their Wits except in an Hour of great Temptation confess and own or whether they will or no are forced to expect and fear if they are not in a Condition to consider them with a joyful Hope Lord cure the unbelieving Doubts concerning these Great Things which notwithstanding the plainest Evidence the Devil may at any time suggest Iet a confirmed Faith be the Reality of what is thus future that my Soul may be influenc'd by them as it is wont to be by Things present Let it be the Substance of Things hoped for and the Evidence of Things unseen and as yet at a Distance as if the Day of Judgment were already come and there were no intermediate Time to pass between this and that O Eternity Eternity the more I consider it the more unfathomable still I find it Vnchangeable Blessedness or remediless endless Torments An Eternal Blissful Day or Everlasting Horror Darkness and Despair Life or Death Glory or Destruction to last as long as the Immutable Living God! None of the Patriarchs who lived longest arrived to the period of a Thousand Years which in comparison of God's Everlastingness is set forth but as one day But strictly considered Millions of Years and Ages have no proportion with it because no multiplication of them will amount to Eternity Whereas one Hour hath some proportion to an hundred thousand years because a certain number of Hours will amount to so many years But no number of Years or Ages never so often multiplied will make up Eternity As no substraction of Millions of Years will lessen it an entire Eternity will be still to come and will ever be to come When innumerable myriads of Years are past Eternity shall then seem but to begin because when as many more are over
his Body and his Life but in his Mind too so as to love and hate to chuse and neglect to delight in and abhor such things at one time as he did not before He doth not pass the same Judgment nor retain the same Affections at one time as at another How do I live as if all this were as certainly false as it is unquestionably true admire love fear trust in Man as if he were the direct Contrary to what he is and seek for Immortality upon Earth and act as if I were assured of it and were not liable to any Change though I acknowledge and know the Contrary Though the last Years Experience and the observation of every Day doth convince me of it though all History and all the Records of the Grave attest it though all Mankind in every Age have found it so though it be a manifest notorious Truth legible in the various Changes and Calamities but especially in the Dust and Ashes of all who have lived before us our Graves being often made of our Predecessors Dust and the Earth we bury in having once been living yet how little is it believed how seldom considered The Confirmation of it which one Year gives us hath little Influence on our Hearts or Lives with respect to the next We ought therefore to accustom our selves to these Thoughts before such Changes happen to which our Final Change shall e're long succeed They will be less efficacious if never admitted till our Minds are opprest and feebled by the weight of Affliction We shall then want that Vigour of Reason which should co-operate with the Remedy and which if used before-hand would help to support and stay our Minds under all subsequent Revolutions For those Considerations may be able to fix and stay our Minds under Changes that may not be sufficient to recover and raise our Spirits after they are dejected and fallen SECTION II. Of the Change in Mens Inclinations Opinions and Actions which one Year shews How observable it is in Others how much more discernable in our Selves Honour and Reputation c. how uncertainly preserved and how easily blasted WHat a discovery doth one Year make of the Mutability of Man not only of his outward Condition but of the Man himself his Temper his Practise his Inclinations his Aversions c. He abideth not at one stay every breath of wind turns him to another shape We despise to day that which we admired yesterday and to morrow hate the object of our present love We begin Friendships and cancel them on slight occasions And a mortal Enmity often succeeds to a tender Affection The very Persons who are in one year our darling Friends and possibly deserved to be so may yet be open Enemies the next and seek our Ruine Lord what is Man How deceitful and mutable the Heart of Man We know not what other Men are or will prove to be till a trial and we are equally ignorant concerning our selves till an hour of Temptation How patiently do we think we could bear Afflictions till we feel them how partial and mistaken a Judgment do we make of our Wisdom and Strength in reference to the future we counsel others to Submission and Resignation in the most difficult trials and wonder they complain so loud when we our selves despond and sink under half their Burthen and send up our more impatient murmurs to Heaven when God thinks fit to prove us by a lighter Stroke We censure and condem Others who are in an higher Station and are called to more difficult work than we when by a little Advancement and the like Temptation we discover that we are as bad as they They who were reputed Humble Temperate and Religious when they have been Exalted higher become proud sensual and ungodly Had some been told a Twelve month since what now they are and speak and act they would have made Hazael's Answer Am I a Dog that I should do this A change in the publick Affairs of the State and by that means of particular Interests or some Alteration of our own private Circumstances calling us to new Duties and exposing us to new Temptations discovers us more to our selves and to other Men than was expected and proves us to be very different from what we appeared to be Such a change for Instance as from Poverty to Riches from Sickness to Health from Obscurity to Honour from Privacy to a Publick charge c. or on the contrary Men cannot bear the weight of Temporal Happiness but Riches and Honours make us to be Other Men than before we seemed to be How weak a thing is Man that cannot carry his own Wishes without falling under them That cannot prosper in his designs without being changed in the Temper of his Mind upon every success So true is it that Man in Honour is like the Beast that perisheth and changed ordinarily for the worse as to serious Religion May we not fear that some who a year since dared not live a day in the neglect of Closet and Family Devotion do now omit it for many Days and Weeks together And that some who once were careful to improve the whole Sabbath to religious purposes now place the whole of their Religion in attending the publiek Worship and think it enough not for that Day only but for the whole Week Under the Afflicting Hand of God or some Apprehensions of an approaching change or sense of guilt upon great Transgressions the Convictions of Sin are lively Conscience is sensible and awake Affections warm Resolutions strong c. But alas how soon doth the case alter our Spirits cool our Zeal abates our good Purposes untwist and die and come to nothing By degrees we return to Folly and boldly venture on that Sin we lately trembled at Through the want of continued smart Afflictions or of a serious awakning Ministry and friendly faithful Admonition or through the Temptations of vain Company and the remaining power of fleshly Lusts So that we falsifie our most sacred Promises and Resolutions violate our holy Vows cancel the Bonds of God upon us suffer the Devil to re-enter and prevail again to take possession of our Hearts and yield our selves an easie prey to his Temptations till our latter end be worse than our Beginning Oh what a Change doth one year let us see in Persons as well as Things in our selves as well as other Men And as it is with Man himself so with every thing that he values himself upon or for which he is esteemed by others and even his Esteem and Reputation is also changeable and uncertain Not to Instance in Riches but in what is nobler Learning and the Improvements of the Mind by Study how soon may the violence of a Disease disturb or stupifie the Brain to that degree as shall reduce the greatest Scholar to the pitied Condition of a Fool or Bedlam And where is his Reputation and Renown in such a Case But much less than that
I may not be unwilling in the flower of my Age and Time in Youth and Strength to leave this World let me think often that no one age or part of Life is more priviledged against the stroke of Death than another If I have done my work betimes as my deceased Fellow Traveller had is it not better to receive the blessed Recompence than to to tarry longer in a World of Sin and Suffering absent from the Lord Shall I not thereby escape a multitude of Temptations Sins and Sorrows which others by living longer are exposed to If my Peace be made with God what should make me willing to live at this distance from him What should render this World so desirable where God is so dishonoured where I am so often tempted to displease him and so often yield to such Temptations And may I not fear lest I should fall into such scandalous and grievous sins that may bring a publick reproach on the Gospel of Christ and sadden the Hearts of all my Acquaintance who love the Lord Jesus in sincerity By dying early I shall contract less guilt and commit less sin and see and feel less Sorrow than others who live longer And tho' I should maintain my Integrity yet in this World my highest love and obedience to God and my sweetest Communion with him is but imperfect How many Impediments and Diversions do I daily meet with that deaden my Heart to Heavenly Contemplations and Affections What disappointments and sorrowful disasters to convince me that this is not the place of Rest and Happiness What smart afflictions may some of my Relations prove What dangerous Snares may attend me in the remaining Portion of my Time What Opposition and Hatred from Men may the stedfast professing of the Truth and Fidelity to God expose me to what Publick National Calamities may I have my share in c. But if I consider Old Age it self which we do desire to reach what and how many are the Infirmities and Griefs and troublesome Circumstances which attend that State which dying young will prevent Are not most Men who reach a very great old Age helpless Objects of Pity A Burthen to themselves and to all about them And which commonly happens may I not then be as unwilling to dye as at present As loth then to leave the World as now tho' in a manner it will have left me For how many Old Men past the Relish of Sensual Pleasures are yet inordinately fond of a longer Life Have I not been told by Heathens as well as Christians that 't is not the length of time but it 's improvement that doth really make a Long Life If I have answered the Ends for which I were born 't is not too soon to dye No Man ever miscarried as to his Everlasting Interest because his Life was Short but Evil. He that is prepared for Death he that dyes in the Lord hath lived long enough and should thank God for a speedy Call to the Possession of that Felicity which the Holiest Saints on Earth desire and breath after Gideon lost nothing by returning from Victory while the Sun was yet high He hath fought long enough who hath gained the Victory If I have wrought but a few Hours in a Vineyard and done but little Service for my Lord and Master and yet am dismist and rewarded before the rest of my Fellow-Labourers shall I repine and think my Lord doth not befriend me If he hath any farther Service for me he will prolong my Days and make me Diligent I hope and contented Otherwise I pray he would make me ready to dye and make me willing and desirous to depart this Life For to be only content to dye that I may be perfectly Holy and fully Blessed is methinks too low for a Christian who acts like himself believing the Certainty of his avowed Principles and Hopes and knowing that While we are present in the Body we are absent from the Lord. SECT XVI The Contemplation of our Approaching Change may assist us to mortifie the Lusts of the Flesh the Lust of the Eyes and the Pride of Life to cure Ambition and promote Contentment ALL that is in the World saith the Apostle is the Lust of the Flesh the Lust of the Eyes and the Pride of Life The Dust and Ashes of our own Mortality duly considered and applied will help to deaden and extinguish each of these By Pride of Life we lift up our selves against Heaven and despise our Maker by the Lust of the Flesh we overlove and indulge the Body and study to gratifie the sensual Appetite By the Lust of the Eyes our Desires are immoderate after Temporal and External Goods The thought of our approaching End hath a Tendency to oppose and mortifie these Lusts to humble us before God to take us off from the inordinate Love of the Body and to moderate our Passions to Earthly Things It may help us against Pride by shewing us the infinite distance between the Eternal Self-sufficient God and such poor Dust as we who are but of Yesterday and if he uphold us not and maintain our Souls in Life shall be laid in the Dust to Morrow It will mind us of his Justice against Sin the Parent of Death and of all the Miseries of our mortal State and convince us of our Weakness to resist his Will or avoid his Wrath. As to our fond Affection to the Body it may instruct us that it deserves not to be so much accounted of it will open our Eyes to discern the Preference of our immortal Souls and what Concerns them to the Interest of a perishing Body It may convince us that we are Cruel and unkind to our very Bodies by overloving them because we thereby contribute to their Eternal Sufferings and so teach us to love and use our Bodies as Servants to our Souls in this World and as expecting to share in Glory with them after the Resurrection It may also help to moderate our Desires after Earthly Good and so cure the Lust of the Eyes by letting us see the Vanity Uncertainty and short Duration of these Things and their Insufficiency to make us Happy and give us true Content The Thoughts of an Approaching Change may if any thing will do it damp the Mirth of the Luxurious Epicure and strike him into a fit of Trembling as did Belshazzar's Hand-writing on the Wall It may discover the Distraction of living in Pleasure and of Care to please the Senses and the fleshly Appetite when the End is so near It may likewise check the Folly of Ambitious Designs that Men should make so much ado to get into slippery Places from whence they may so easily fall Where being puft up with vain Applause they forget themselves and their latter End 'till their Life and Glory expire together Where are now the Great and Mighty and Honourable who have made such a Noise in the World What is now the Difference between the Dust of
be by the damned Spirits Oh that I might now feel more of this Heavenly Life begun and carried on in my Soul by a farther Participation of his Holy Image and Conformity to his Will by more vital Effects of his indwelling Spirit in my Soul forming it to be a Temple to himself for his own Delightful Residence that forgetting that which I have received I may still be Coveting and desirous of more forgetting what I have attain'd I may press on with an Holy Eagerness and Fervency towards the Mark When I seriously examine my own Heart had I nothing else to prove the Weakness of my Grace and the sinful Remainders of Unbelief but the low Desires and few Comfortable Thoughts the seldom joyful Prospect of this Blessed State how sad an Evidence were it of my low Attainments that I breath with no more Impatience after that Blessed Holy Rest in the Injoyment of God and Christ and labour no more in preparing for it When we profess to believe that all the Desires of our Souls shall be fix'd on Him and filled with Him as our Infinite and Supreme Good and all the Expectations of Faith and Hope swallowed up in Endless Admiration Gratitude and Joy being fully satisfied and at Rest in the Presence and Vision of God without the least Inclination or Desire of Change And by Consequence There will be no need of Novelty as now to a give a Relish to our Happiness All Happiness in this World is by comparing a Man's present Condition with his past or with that of some Inferiours But the Intrinsick Good Felicity and Joy of Heaven will need no such Foil to set it off no such Comparison to make it prized The Blessed Spirits will never lose the lively Sense of that low and miserable Condition from which they were raised to so great a Glory and so will ever equally rejoyce in the Happiness of their Translation and Wonderful Change And what was at first delightful will for Ever be so and not disdain'd or lessen'd by a Continuance as it happens in this World from the Emptiness Shallowness and Vanity of the Creature An Affectation of Variety and Desire of Change proceeding always from a Sense of Want But Holy Souls shall never be weary of Seeing Loving and Enjoying God his Blessed Presence will afford us Undecaying and Endless Satisfacton Pleasure never to be interupted or abated and never to cease The Blessed Object is absolutely Infinite and so will be always new to a Finite Understanding and Continual Fresh Communications from his Infinite Fulness must needs make our Subjective Happiness to be always new and Eternally such Let me by such Thoughts quicken and excite my Diligent Endeavours after a greater Meetness to injoy so great a Bliss And to that end Consider whether any of those Happy Souls who have finisht their Course and obtained the Prize do now regret their utmost Diligence Patience and Perseverance during their short Abode here to secure the Blessedness of an Endless Life No no they are far from repenting the Time they spent the Trouble they were at the Care they used the Difficulties they met with the Sufferings they endured to conflct with the World and the Flesh to resist Temptation to watch over their Hearts and Words and Ways to work out their Salvation to please God and be faithful to him c. They find to their Unspeakable Comfort and Everlasting Joy that Heaven makes amends for all they could do or suffer in order to their Coming thither Yea they find that they were not Diligent and Humble and Patient and Circumspect enough That they did not love God and seek his Glory redeem their Time and improve all their Talents and Opportunities of doing and receiving Good and give up themselves intirely to prepare for Heaven to that degree they should have done They find by the Transcendency of the Blessed Recompence that it deserved infinitely more than the most Active Zealous Christian upon Earth did ever do in order to it Lord Quicken my Resolutions and Endeavours by such Thoughts as these Inspire my Sluggish Carnal Heart with Holy Light and Life and Zeal and Fervour that looking to the Things which are not seen which are Eternal I may (*) 1 Tim. 1.19 lay up a good Foundation against the Time to come and so lay hold on Eternal Life But Alas How much have I neglected the great Duty of Holy Meditation How little Skill and Experience have I in it How tastless and inspid oftentimes are my Thoughts of God! how confused and unsteady how little Pleasure or Advantage have I by Contemplating his Highest Excellencies Yet methinks could I but retain the same awakened lively Thoughts of Heaven and Eternal Life which sometimes I have had might I continually feel the Sweet and Sacred Influence as for a little Season I have sometimes felt it how little how very a Nothing would all this World be to me How comparatively weak its strongest and most alluring Snares to draw me off from God! with what an unshaken Mind could I refuse and resist ' em with what an unconcerned Indifference could I look upon all its most charming Glory Could I maintain such a Frame of Spirit as I have sometimes had for a little while in the serious Contemplation of Divine Misteries in Fervent Prayers and other Solemn Duties of Religion when the Acts of Faith were strong and lively my Heart set on fire with Love to God and Holy Breathings after Him admiring his matchless Grace to fallen Sinners and to my Soul in particular when he brought me to the very Suburbs of Heaven tho' alas how seldom by the delightful Thought of what the Blessed Spirits above enjoy in being where Christ is and beholding his Glory when I was ready to say within my self 'T is good to be here this is no other than the Gate of Heaven Oh! when shall Mortality be swallowed up of Life But when I thought at any time to fix and settle in such sweet Contemplations how quickly did my lazy backward Heart fly off how soon did the Flame decay and dye away how soon did I find my self fallen down to Earth again sunk down from the Bosom of my Lord presently forgot my self and Heaven to dwell among the Pots and embrace a Dunghill 'T was not on my own Wings O Lord that I soared so high but I hope by the Breathings of that Holy Spirit of Light and Love who bloweth when and where and how long he listeth who gave me at any time any such first Fruits of the Spirit who convinc'd me of the Certainty of the Heavenly Inheritance by a lively believing Foresight of it who made me earnestly desire the Wings of a Dove to be gone and appear before God in Sion made me Pant and Groan to be delivered and to be with God and Christ with inexpressible Desire and Joy unconceivably mixt with Sighs and Groans O my God! let not this experience be only
such a Taste of the Powers of the World to come as is consistent with final Apostacy only the seeming Zeal of the stony Ground the rapturous Joy of an Hypocite from the Power of Imagination and a heated Fancy from the workings of meer Natural Self-love upon Mistaken Apprehensions of God and a false Opinion of Heaven but by the Holy Effects let me be assured of the Cause and Principle that was of God Teach me from the Sweetness of all Spiritual Communion with God now in any of his appointed Ordinances to argue to my self what the most ravishing Satisfaction will be that the Enjoyment of God in Heaven will afford the Soul Our Holiness is now imperfect to what it shall be and therefore our Consolation Peace and Joy is but in part and incomparably less than we are assured it will be when we shall be admitted to behold the Glory of the Lord. 'T is now at most but as the Break of Day to the Lustre of the Meridian Sun But if in this low imperfect State we can sometimes obtain so near a View of his Glory and feel such sweet Communications of his Grace how much more of this Consolation and Joy is reserved to Heaven If in this Pilgrim State the Gifts and Graces and Comforts of the Holy Spirit are so refreshing O! what hath God prepared beyond the Grave for those who love him If now he sometimes shed abroad his Love in our Hearts after such a Manner how much better shall I love him and feel the Influence and Evidence of his Love to me when I shall be with him and see him Face to Face If the Apprehensions of this Future Blessedness do now encourage raise and animate my drooping Soul O what shall I know and see And how shall I rejoyce when the Vail is removed If a Sacramental Communion with God and Jesus Christ be sometimes so sweet and so affecting what will the Blessed Communion with God and all his Saints above amount to when I shall sit down with all the Children of God in the Presence of the Bridegroom at the last Great Supper of the Lamb in Glory If the Earnest of our Inheritance be so reviving what will be the full Possession of it If the Hopes of that Glorious Day by Holy Meditation be so transporting what will be the End of our Faith and Hope If a Grape or two in the Wilderness be such a Cordial what will be the whole Vintage in the Land of Promise Shall I after all this forget my own Experience and run from God and Heaven to embrace or seek a perishing Toy Shall I hide my self with Saul among the Stuff and Lumber of this World when God is calling me to a Glorious Crown Art thou O my Soul a King's Son an Heir of Heaven an Expectant of such great Felicity and yet stoop so low Hope for Heaven and yet grasp this Earth and hug the vain Appearances of Earthly Good Hope to be like to God and Oh how Glorious an Hope is that to partake of his Image and live Eternally with him and yet be solicitous anxious and disquieted about Honour and Money and a Temporal Interest And mightily concerned about the Momentany Gratifications of the Flesh and the Enjoyments of this World Art thou a Pilgrim and Stranger here and travelling Home to the Heavenly Country and yet eager and passionate about Earthly Things Should an Heart that is set upon Heaven or may be so and ought to be so should it burn with such Kitchin such Common-Fire And neglect the unconceivable Riches and Pleasures and immortal Honours of the other Life and the Dawnings of that Glory upon my Soul by the Foretasts of it in this How great is the Disproportion between the Heavens and the Earth How vast the Circumference of the one and how small a Point the other How many thousand Miles doth the Sun travel in the Heavens while it passeth but one Inch upon a Dial Oh! that my Affections were carried to Heavenly Things with a swiftness somewhat answerable to the Glorious Object And let their Motion to Earthly Things be rather slow and insensible like that of the Sun on a Dial. Since I profess to believe and wait for the Heavenly Glory should I not live as seeking such Things as expecting such a Glory And are careless and indifferent Thoughts sleepy heartless Prayers faint and weak Endeavours becoming in such a Case Shall I not mend my Pace and double my Diligence in my preparatory Work When I can believingly foresee the Blessed Recompence waiting for that Everlasting Light of the Sun of Righteousness which no Eclipse shall ever darken or obscure for that Eternal Glorious Day which shall never be closed with an Evening When I shall see the Face of God in Christ and be like him participate more of his Image rest in his Love and dwell for ever in the Light of his Countenance according to the Prayer and Promise of my Blessed Saviour And ought not such a Prospect to sweeten the Bitterness of all our intermediate Sufferings We are now oftentimes in Heaviness and Sorrow but Eternity will be enough for an uninterrupted Joy When we shall exchange all our Troubles for Everlasting Rest our Prisons for Perfect Liberty our Poverty for the Riches of God Darkness for Light Discord for Love Deformity for Beauty our Weaknesses and present Languishings for Strength and Vigor Folly for Wisdom Disgrace for Glory Sickness and Pain for Eternal Ease and Health the Animal for the Angelical Life Imperfection and Pollution for Consummate Holiness our Sighs and Tears and Sorrows and Complaints for Triumphant Everlasting Praise our Losses Affronts Disappointments Perplexities Fears Groans and Death for Crowns and Scepters Hymns and Hallelujahs Light and Life and Bliss unutterable and such great things as are fit for us to hope but too great to be now particularly understood and talkt of while we know but in part and see through a Glass darkly Yea it seems as if it were not lawful to utter 'em 2 Cor. 12.4 and now they cannot be exprest or fully known For Eye hath not seen nor Ear heard or can it enter into the Heart of man to conceive that prepared Glory SECT XXI A Devout Meditation upon Psalm 73.25 Whom have I in Heaven but Thee And there is none upon Earth that I desire besides Thee WHAT is there in Heaven or Earth O Lord but thy Presence to be valued loved desired chosen sought or delighted in There is nothing in either World desirable without Thee nothing certainly above Thee nothing in Comparison with Thee In Thee alone I trust on Thee I depend in Thee I repose my Confidence and Hope from Thee I expect all my Felicity and Salvation Whatever I can lose yet with the Continuance of thy Favour which is my Life I have still Enough With that I am Rieh without it I am Poor and Miserable And if I want the Love of God all that Heaven and Earth
can give besides will not make me happy In Thee therefore I would terminate all my Affections all my Devotions There is nothing of Heaven to be had on Earth but in thy Favour Image and Love and the reviving Sense of it And all the Heaven I expect hereafter 't is in the more full and immediate Communications of these in thy blessed Presence I can desire nothing upon Earth I can injoy nothing in Heaven but Thee both here and there thou art and shalt ever be my All-sufficient Satisfactory Portion my Everlasting All None else can be the Portion of my Soul Nothing else can fill up all its Wants answer all its Cravings be suited to all its Capacities appease and charm all its restless Motions and give Complacence to all its Desires and be the proper Object of all its Affections What is there else can justly claim my Love or pretend to my Supreme Affection in comparison with God Thou art alone the proper Center of it Thine Infinite and Incomparable Excellencies who art Love it self deserve my choicest Love and thy numberless Mercies and Benefits challenge it as a just Debt as a piece of Homage due from all and of special Gratitude also from me Oh that I could love Thee above all things who alone art worthy of all my Love O that Divine Love might be the ruling Principle within me to inspire all my Thoughts to regulate all my Desires to set all the Powers of my Soul on Work O that it might take the full Possession of my Heart and so animate and order all my Actions to please him whom my Soul loveth If as yet I cannot say with thine Apostle Lord thou that knowest all things thou knowest that I love thee Yet I can say Lord thou knowest that I would love thee Thou hast provided for our Happiness by that first and great Command of loving thee with all our Hearts and Souls and Strength But alas how backward is my sluggish carnal Heart to this Delightful Exercise Tho' I have so oft been told that God is Love and that He that dwelleth in Love dwelleth in God and God in him O shed abroad thy Love into my Soul that I may feel the Vital Power and Influence of it and live continually in the Love of God and that nothing may ever be able to separate me from it Whom have I in Heaven or Earth to Hope in but Thee I expect more from Creatures than they can or will perform but God can do for me more abundantly than I can ask or think exceed my largest Thoughts out strip my highest Expectations And no Man was ever disappointed who made Thee his Hope When I meet with Crosses and Wrongs Unfaithfulness Contempt Hatred and Persecution from Men I need not wonder I was never told by God it would be otherwise here Did I look for less from Creatures and expect more from God Did I reckon this World to be a State of Trial and not a Place of Rest and Satisfaction my Faith and my Desires would be stronger with respect to God and Heaven and Temporal Calamities and Disappointment less afflictive and Vexatious And what is there O Lord in Heaven or in Earth my Soul can desire besides Thee Is there any thing desireable but as it is thine of thee and from thee And bears some Impression of thine Excellence or brings some Intimation of thy Love And what can I reasonably desire what that is worth desiring or having but thou art able to be and do and give In whom or what shall I Rejoyce but in Thee O Lord shall I solace my self in Transitory Goods that slip between my Fingers and perish in the Using or relish Carnal Joys which pollute and debase the Soul When I may and ought to Rejoyce in Thee at all Times as the only Source of Perfect Everlasting Joy Let me then stir up my Drooping Desponding Unbelieving Heart to rejoyce in God who takes Pleasure in the chearful Service and Obedience of his Children who delighteth in those who delight in him Is not * Vid. Mr. How Of delighting in God Delighting in God a most Essential Vital Part of Religion Should it not be my Constant Frame Hath not God sufficiently provided that it may be so Can I say and believe that God is the Portion of my Soul that he is my God and I hope to live with him for ever and not Rejoyce Or can I consider the Grace of the new Covenant the matchless Love of Christ and the precious Promises of the Gospel and not see reason to Rejoyce Yea doth my Soul love God and endeavour to please him and is not the very Act and Exercise of holy Love mixt with unspeakable sweetness Whom is there in Heaven or in Earth or Hell that I ought to Fear but Thee Who hast a Negative Voice in all the Designs of Men and Devils an Hook in their Nostrils a Bridle in their Mouths to make them fulfil thy Pleasure and in every thing accomplish thy Sovereign Decree Is there any other in whom I may repose my Trust but in Thee O Lord the Rock of Ages The might of thy Power the Unsearchabless of thy Wisdom the Righteousness of thy Nature the Stability of thy Truth the Riches of thy Grace and the Immutability of thy Promises are a sure Foundation for my Soul to trust to and relye upon Thy word stands firm for ever and the Truth of thine Ability and Readiness to help in every Time of Need Endures the same throughout all Generations At all Times and in all Places my Soul may trust in Thee and find Relief And they who know thy Name will do so for in the Lord Jehovah is Everlasting Kindness and Strength To answer all my Doubts to supply all my Wants and fulfil all my Desires May not God take it unkindly that I trust him no more And is it not a criminal Unkindness that I give him not the Glory of all these excellent Attributes which are the grounds of Trust by a constant steady intire Dependance on him for all that I need I have none in Heaven but Thee O Lord as the Object of my Invocation and Worship Let other Christians have Recourse to New Mediators and call upon other Gods I will make mention of thy Name and of thy Righteousness only And ask of Thee whatsoever I need for the sake of thy Christ my only Adorable Mediator Him thou hearest alway with him thou art always well pleased I honour the Holy Angels as Glorious Attendants about thy Throne and bless thee for them as Ministring Spirits for the Good of thy Servants but I dare not invoke or worship 'em because they are Fellow Servants On the same Account I honour the Memory of Departed Saints but neither invoke them or pay them Religious Worship That Glory thou wilt not give unto another I have no Precept in Holy Scripture to direct no Promise to encourage no Example to authorize the
fully known What inexpressible Sweetness might Believers tast by rejoycing in Hope did a more lively Faith realize all this to their Souls We might listen as it were to the Shouts and Acclamations of the Saints above and say Amen to their Thanksgivings We might behold them about the Throne of God and of the Lamb with Psalms of Victory in their Hands a Crown of Glory on their Heads and Songs of Triumph in their Mouths saying Allelujah * Rev. 4. c. 11. 5. c. 12 13. Worthy art thou O Lord to receive Glory and Honour and Power for thou hast created all things and for thy Pleasure they are and were created And worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive Power and Riches and Wisdom and Strength and Honour and Glory and Blessing And again Blessing Honour Glory and Power be unto him who sits upon the Throne and to the Lamb for ever and ever Whence is it O my Soul if indeed I believe and expect all this that I can Hear and Read and Think and Speak of these great Things with no more ardent Affections suitable Preparations importunate Prayers and vigorous Desires How should the believing Thoughts of that Day promote my Heavenly-mindedness Self-denial Contempt of the World Patience and Perseverance Quicken my Zeal secure my Stedfastness and give Life and Spirit to my Prayers for the hastening of it How should my Soul rise towards Heaven by holy Love and Desire Ascend and meet him get as near him as I can breathe after more of his Presence and beg him to prepossess my Heart to anticipate his second Coming by clearer Discoveries of his Love and fuller Communications of his Grace Even so Come Lord Jesus XXIV Concerning the Examination of a man's Heart and Life the Reasonableness Advantages and Necessity of it Some Direction and Advice concerning the Time and Manner That we may know in what Preparedness we are for Eternity I Am hastening every Year every Day to the period of this Life I must shortly appear before my Glorious Judge and experience these Terrors or Comforts this Blessedness or Misery which I have now read of Shall I not therefore inquire which of the two belongs to me Is it not worth considering whither I must go and how I shall fare when I quit this Body What is like to be my next Habitation To which of the two unchangeable States I shall be adjudg'd Shall an Inquiry of so much consequence be put off to an indefinite hereafter Do I not desire to know the worst while a remedy may be found Or am I content to dye through an unwillingness to discover that I am Sick The Question to be resolved is of infinite weight Shall I not spend a few hours to know what will become of me for ever An error is more than possible 't is easie to mistake and the hazard of doing so is unspeakeably great How many thousands perish eternally even under the Light of the Gospel who never suspected their Danger How ordinary how common a thing is it for Men to be thus deceived How successful is the Devil in this Stratagem against the Souls of Men Is it not then a most criminal Stupidity to be contentedly ignorant and unresolved whether I am reconciled to God or no whether I am led by the Flesh or by the Spirit whether I am in the broad or narrow way which lead to such contrary ends that is whether if I die in this condition I shall be saved or perish Can such an enquiry be frivolous or indifferent Is the subject of it so contemptible or my concern in it so small that it merits not to be attentively considered Shall I never ask my Soul till I am leaving this World the unfittest time of all to begin so important an Affair what am I To whom do I belong Whose Image do I bear How have I lived and what do I do What do I love most What do I most constantly desire and chuse and seek How doth the Pulse of my Soul beat Is it quickest towards God or towards the World Whither am I going What will be the final upshot and issue of my present course Is it Heaven or Hell I must be translated to by dying What security have I got for Eternal Life What provisions have I made What Foundation have I laid How strangely infatuated are most Men who talk of an Everlasting Life as an Article of their Creed and say they count upon it that they must dwell in Happiness or Misery for ever and seldom or never bethink themselves in good earnest and for any time with a setled composed exercise of thoughts which of these Two is like to be their Lot Or if they begin to search and try themselves they come to no Conclusion or conclude too hastily they pluck off the Plaister as soon as it begins to smart they are either frighted with the horrid prospect of past Crimes or having escap'd the grosser Pollutions of the World judge too favourably of their own case They commonly do the Work but by halves and so go from the Glass and forget what manner of Persons they were Let me therefore O my Soul Sequester my self from the World to commune with my own Heart to reflect upon my past Life and look into my present State to recollect and review the most considerable Passages of my course and time hitherto O how neglected and disused a Practice is this which doth challenge and require our principal and most serious Concerns about it And how many begin it and are discouraged and leave off without reaching the end of such an Enquiry How much wiser in this respect are the Children of this World in their Generation than the Children of Light Who is so exact in his Accompts between God and his own Soul as Tradesmen in their Dealings with one another Who is at the pains to write down his Sins and his Mercies the grounds of his Fear and the Encouragements of his Hope or keeps a Journal and Diary of his Spiritual State Who doth at set times once a Month or once a Quarter or even once a Year take a just view of himself his Heart and Life and State as a Christian that he may see what he hath received and done what he owes and what he may expect that he may know whether he thrive or decay whether he increase or decrease whether he go backward or forward whether he be Richer or Poorer this Year than the last And is it not a Symptom that you are declining when you love not to examine your Accounts Is there not ground of jealousie and suspicion that you are behind-hand because you are loth to inquire whether you are or no And unwilling to know the worst of your Condition Nevertheless without such Enquiries and bringing the matter to a Determination at what uncertainties must we live And how unconceivable an hazard do all Hypocrites and unrenewed Sinners run And how reasonable how
necessary is it that we should know and in order to it prove our selves We must therefore bestow Time and serious Diligence about it that we may examine matters to the bottom and come to some Result so that we may form a right Judgment concerning our own Case He that would do it to good purpose must endeavour to understand clearly the terms of the Covenant on God's part and on ours And take care not to Judge of himself by mistaken Rules by a false Standard that God will not justifie or by any such Characters as will not conclude But most Men are unwilling to bring themselves to a Trial or to let Conscience deal plainly and faithfully with them They are stupidly secure and see not the necessity of this duty Or do not suspect themselves They presume they need not be at that Trouble Or are so taken up with the World that they cannot find time and leasure for it And many Men dare not bring their Hearts and Ways to a Trial. There is commonly some secret Lust indulg'd which they are loth to let go But most go on in sin and perish Eternally because they think there is no danger of perishing and never Repent and make their Peace with God because they fancy and presume 't is done already Therefore let me beg of thee whoever thou art who readest this to put the Case to thy self seriously to admit the doubt whether you are not mistaken make the supposition that you have not hitherto sufficiently considered the State of your Soul You are confident that all is well and thereupon are unwilling to Examine farther But for that very reason you ought to question whether it be so or not Do but ask your selves seriously what is the ground of your good Opinion concerning your self For what reason can you thus conclude Did you ever seriously lay to heart the Characters and Description which the Scriptures give of those whom Christ will own at the last day and of such whom he will reject and reprobate With unfeigned Application to your own case have you therewith prov'd your selves and come to a setled Judgment after a deliberate Enquiry and was the Conclusion to your Comfort and Joy If so what influence hath it since had upon your Heart and Life Hath it promoted Purity Thankfulness Heavenly-mindedness Contempt of this World and stronger Desires after the Image Love and Presence of God and the Glory of Christ Moreover consider Is not this a good while a-go How have you behav'd your self ever since Have you not reason to look back with shame If you but slightly examin'd your self formerly resolve to do it more effectually now Review the sins you have been since guilty of And if you have not done any thing considerable of this kind you ought now to begin It is seasonable to begin the year by such an Exercise and it will be found of great use in all the following parts of it Especially when you come to examine your self afresh in order to the Lord's Supper For we ought frequently to renew the sad Remembrance of our former Sins that from time to time we may renew our Repentance which is the Work of our Life and not of one day And he that comes to the Sacrament and will look no farther back than to the last Communion may possibly presume too much that all was then as it should be and not be humble enough If any one therefore resolve in good earnest upon an holy Life and seriously design to prepare for Eternity as it is necessary to make a general Review of his Life so I desire to afford him the best Counsel I can in order to it It may be advisable (a) Vid. Mr. Baxter's Saints Rest p. 3. Chap. 7 8 9. if you have not formerly begun this Work to imploy one hour at least in a Day for several Days following in writing down the most considerable Passages of your Life you can remember desiring God's Assistance therein and keeping your Eye upon your End in the whole that is thinking serioussy that 't is in order to Eternity that you now examine your self Chuse a place of Retirement and the most convenient Time that you may not be interrupted and when your Heart is most serious Every man may divide his Life into several parts as from Infancy till he left off going to School or was bound Apprentice or setled in any way of Education From thence till fixt in some Imployment If a Married Person till entred into that Condition And from thence to another remarkable Period or to the present Time It may better assist some Persons memory to consider the several Places of their abode and compute according to them In each portion of time recollect what sins you were most addicted to in what Instances with what Frequency and with what other various Aggravations you committed 'em And what have been the effects and consequences of those sins to your selves and others in order to Repentance and Godly Sorrow Which must not be judged of by Tears but Grief and inward hatred of Sin Remembring that no man is the better meerly for being examin'd if there follows nothing after it 'T is in order to a Judgment to be pass'd upon our selves 'T is to search out our own Iniquity our Beloved sin in order to the Mortification of it That Goliah must first be slain if ever the other Philistins are conquered In some it is Pride in others Worldliness in some Uncleanness in others Drunkenness Gluttony c. That you may discover it observe What sin 't is you are most unwilling to part with Which you could even wish were not forbidden Which you have formerly been most apt to plead for to extenuate or excuse hide The thoughts whereof do most frequently occur especially when alone first in the morning and last at night And are most distracting in Prayer and Worship Which an awaken'd Conscience hath most plainly told you of under a Sermon or at a Sacrament or under some heavy Affliction or on a sick-bed c. Which you can least bear to be reprov'd for Which the Temperament of your body doth most incline to Which your Calling Imployment Company and Converse administer the greatest Temptations for That especially which hath the Throne of the Heart and sets all the faculties awork to contrive fuel and opportunities for its Gratification Observe likewise what Passion was most Predominant in each Period of Time or is yet so and what ill effects it hath produced Consider farther what dangerous Temptations you have met with how you have fallen by 'em or been inabled to resist Consider withal the Time and the Means whereby God hath at any time formerly awaken'd convinc'd and humbled you what Purposes of Amendment and Promises of Reformation you have ever made and how far you have or have not perform'd ' em Recollect likewise all the special Mercies you have receiv'd from God in every State and
to Mercy His Spirit is yet striving with you if you are willing to Repent and return to God He sought you and call'd you to return when you were wandring as a lost sheep in the broad way And can you think he will not be found of you if you seek him with your whole Heart Therefore renew your Repentance and beg more earnestly a Spirit of Humility Holy Fear and Watchfulness And every Morning implore Divine succours against that Sin and all Temptations to it which as much as possible you must avoid Constant and fervent Prayer after Repentance must be your Refuge and your Remedy If you let fall your Hands this Amaleck will prevail again As soon and as far as you fail in the Constancy and Fervency of that Duty your Sin will get strength and successfully attempt you another time But by this Practice God may turn Evil to work for Good make you gain by your Loss stand the faster by your Falls and become stronger by the discovery of your Weakness and so be better establish'd for the future But take heed that you pervert not the Grace of God and encourage your self to sin again by the Supposition that if you should Fall 't is but to Repent and renew your Resolutions and all will be well This is a subtile Artifice of Satan but such methinks as should take with none who have ever known by Experience what it is to Repent Who have felt the burden of Sin to be heavier than a Milstone than the weight of a Mountain Who have tasted how evil and bitter a thing it is to depart from God Who have loathed and abhorr'd themselves with deep Remorse and Sorrow and Anguish of Spirit wishing with all their Hearts that they had not sinn'd and if it were in their power would give all the World to retrieve it and would rather die than commit that Folly Luk. 23.30 17.2 again they then repented of Let those who have not their own Experience to confirm this read over and consider the Case of David when he wrote the Penitential Psalms How many like him have roar'd and cry'd out under the sense of Sin of stings and furies in their Conscience of the poison'd Arrows in their Souls and his Terrors surrounding them where-ever they went from the sense of his Sins Malignity the apprehensions of God's Anger and the consequent Fears of his Wrath. Serious Repentance after great Transgressions is another Thing than most imagine it When their aggravated Sins shall beset them behind and before be placed in order before their eyes and set in array against them 'T is always a work of Difficulty as well as Importance to crucifie corrupt affections to tear a beloved Lust from the Heart with self-indignation to abhorr and cast away what before you lov'd and delighted in How did David's Sin stare him in the Face It is continually with me it is ever before me said He. It haunted him like a Spectre or like Belshazzar's Hand-writing on the Wall it still appear'd before him in some horrid shape However Sin may smile in its first address and bespeak us in flattering language and promise Pleasure and Profit and great Advantages and Satisfaction these are but fair Appearances This is but the outside of the Cup and the Colour of the Liquor It will prove Gail and Wormwood and a mixture of deadly Poison if ever God set it home upon the Conscience and awaken us to a true sense of it And the Continuance of daily Repentance for Sin which all Christians are called to is no such easie matter neither Constant Self-abasement and Humiliation before God from a sense of his Majesty and Holiness and of our many Sins and Pollution thereby The imperfection of our best Duties continually to be bewailed inordinate Affections to be still mortified always resisting and opposing Sin in its Root and Branches conflicting against the whole Interest of the Flesh the World and the Devil seeking after more Holiness to be deriv'd unto us by the Grace of Christ to be wrought in us by his Spirit and maintain'd by his Power and making daily Applications to the Fountain of all Grace for spiritual strength to continue our warfare against Sin in all Instances of outward Duty and inward Actings of Grace even as long as we live all this is included in it Due Apprehensions concerning Repentance as so comprehensive and difficult a Duty would teach us to beware of Sin XXVII The Necessity of Christian Resolution to Vpright Persevering Obedience how full and extensive it ought to be and yet humble by what means we may be assisted to perform that which we resolve HAving acknowledg'd my Transgressions unto God and begg'd Forgiveness and experimentally learn'd the Evil of Sin by the bitterness of Repentance I resolve for the future to watch against it more narrowly and against every thing that leads to it endeavouring to please and honour my God and Saviour by an upright obedient Heart and Life And for the Remission of my former contracted Guilt I trust to Jesus Christ according to the Revelation made in the Gospel of what he is hath done and suffer'd and continues to do in Heaven for the Salvation of Repenting Sinners who desire to come unto God by Him But how often O my Soul have I mock'd God and deceiv'd my self with formal and faint Purposes of Amendment My good Resolutions have been all of them as the morning Cloud and the early Dew which quickly passed away One fresh assault of Temptation hath swept away all my good Purposes as a Spider's Web. I have falsified so many and broke my word so often that I dare not trust to any thing I now resolve or rely on any Promise I should farther make Succour me therefore O Lord by thy powerful Grace that what was defective in my former fruitless Resolutions may be now rectified Let me be more humble in the sense of my Weakness more dependant on thy Grace and more heartily seek it from time to time Strengthen me with Strength in my Soul with Might and Power in my inward man that I may so resolve and purpose as to perform that I may not be one day hot and the next cold zealous in the Beginning but faint and lukewarm in the Brogress fervent and serious only in Resolving but weak and impotent in the Execution Having chang'd my Master my End and my Hopes by returning unto God from whom I had gone astray I firmly resolve through the assistance of his Grace to change my Course of Life that Old things being done away all things may become New that * Rom. 6.22 being made free from sin by pardoning Mercy and become the servant of Christ I may have my fruit unto Holiness that my End may be Eternal Life In the interim whether I live or die let it be unto the Lord resolving both in Life and Death to be absolutely his And to that purpose O my Soul Let
freeness of his Love the Riches and All-sufficiency of his Grace towards all who come unto God by him I adore Thee O most blessed Spirit as proceeding and sent from the Father and the Son to renew all the Powers of my Soul and restore the Divine Image there to enlighten my mind to know and receive the Truth as it is in Jesus and purify my Heart and to sanctifie all the Members of my Body and make them Instruments of Righteousness unto Holiness which before were Servants unto Sin and gradually to deliver me from the power the defilement and abode of Sin as from the Guilt and Punishment by the Blood of Jesus And as the Witness of God to the Truth of the Holy Scriptures and as the Great Paraclete to comfort and establish the Hearts of Believers sealing them up to the day of Redemption and giving them the Earnest of the Heavenly Inheritance O blessed Spirit be thou my Witness that though I have violated the Law of God and defac'd his Image and formerly undervalu'd the Love of Christ and the Grace of the Gospel yet by thine Aid I now accept what I have so long neglected And thankfully devote my self henceforward to be the Lord's in a Covenant Relation But fearing and distrusting my self I give up my self entirely to the conduct of thy Grace depending upon it for my establishment and perseverance O form my Heart into an obediential Frame that in every thing I may endeavour to answer the Ends and Obligations of this Devoted State To this One God I have once again dedicated and resign'd my self to serve and please and honour Thee in Thought Word and Act to the last moment of my Life In the Performance of all Duties even those which I have been most averse from in the mortification of every Lust and the forsaking of every Sin even those which I was once most addicted to Resolving deliberately to allow my self in nothing great or little secret or open which I shall know or believe to be contrary to thy holy Will making it my business to be fruitful in good Works to the Praise of my Redeemer waiting in the use of all his appointed means for higher measures of Grace and Holiness to be more Victorious over inward Lusts and outward Temptations still pressing towards the mark for the prize of my high and holy Calling even Eternal Life I call Heaven and Earth O Lord to witness this day That I own and avow this to be my Mind and the setled Prevailing Purpose of my Soul This I again ratifie and confirm without any Clauses or Exceptions So help me O my God Glory be to God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Spirit XXIX Practical and Consolatory Reflections on the preceding Self-dedication or Covenant with God I Have this day solemnly Avouched the Lord to be my God to walk in his ways thereby to fortifie my Resolutions that I and my * Deut. 6.17 18. House and All that I can persuade to be of my mind will serve the Lord. I intend desire and hope never willfully to Violate the Faith which I have now plighted in the presence of God but to continue stedfast unmoveable always abounding in the work of the Lord c. Should I undertake any new Imployment or enter into any new Condition or change the place of my Abode where I might see more of God's dishonour and meet with more and stronger Temptations to Sin and be called to the performance of more difficult Duties greater Watchfulness and Self-denial c. I would hope hereby to engage the Presence of God with me and his Blessing on all my Affairs on which depends the success of all that I undertake and would hope the better to preserve my Integrity not only This Year but in all the remaining portion of my Time by the abiding sense of my Covenant with God thus seriously renewed This is the Method I have been often advis'd to for Peace of Conscience under doubts and scruples concerning my spiritual state to put the matter out of doubt by again accepting the offered Mercy and Grace of the Gospel and heartily consenting to the New Covenant giving up my self to God in Christ to be ruled and saved by him Blessed be God I have now done so Lord say Amen to thy part of the Covenant that Thou art and wilt be my God as I desire unfeignedly to do to mine that I will be thy Servant But because Articles are sooner consented to than made good tho' I seriously intend never to disown this my solemn Act and Deed but firmly to adhere to it as long as I live that having sworn I will endeavour to perform it that this shall be my Everlasting Choice never to be recanted or alter'd yet considering the sad Instances of my former Weakness and the vigilance and subtle malice of my Great Adversary I again implore the succour of Divine Grace to keep it for ever in the purpose of my Heart that it may be as the Laws of the Medes and Persians never to be reversed I have given up my Name to be Thine O put thy fear into my Heart that I may never depart from Thee Imprint thy Laws upon my Heart that my Obedience may be uniform and universal unwavering and perpetual suitable to so honourable and near a Relation to Thee I am sensible I want Wisdom and Strength to that purpose but thou hast bid me ask it of Thee who givest liberally to All without desert and upbraidest not with present unworthiness or former faults O lead me not into Temptation but deliver me from Evil. Stand by and strengthen me in the Hour of Trial lest I forget my Vows and deny thee O that my Soul may never draw back lest Thine have no pleasure in me I can serve no better Master O let mine Ears be bored to the door of thine House as the Token and Assurance of my being thy Servant unto Death I know 't is my Duty I am sensible 't is my Privilege and Honour I am convinc'd that 't is my Interest and Felicity my Soul my Life my present and everlasting Welfare and All depends upon it that thou shouldest be my God for ever O conduct me by thy Holy Spirit of Grace that I may walk and act as having heartily consented he should be so and direct my Heart into thy Love and the faithful keeping of thy Commandments That when so many Professors make shipwrack of Faith and a good Conscience and discredit the Religion of my Lord by their shameful Falls thou may'st make me to stand and improve the warning of their Examples to walk humbly and while I stand to take heed lest I fall Having thus surrendred my self to God what is there O my Soul that is ever like to prevail with me to go back and revolt from him Is the gratification of a Lust the securing of an Estate compliance with a Friend the pleasing of a Superior
living in Ease and Honour and outward Prosperity for a little while the saving my Body from Suffering or my Life from Violence or whatever else be the motive of my Unfaithfulness to God and Apostacy from him Is Any is All of these any way considerable compared with the Blessedness of having God to be my God For thereby I have the Forgiveness of all my Sins and the Assurance of his Favour the certainty of present Protection and Provision all Creatures reconciled to me and to be employed for my Good as the Friend of God All things to work together for my Advantage and by the evidence of my Adoption a well-grounded Hope of Eternal Life God as my Sun and Shield will give Grace and Glory and with-hold no good Thing So unspeakably Comprehensive are the Privileges of so near a Relation to God in Christ O happy are the People who are in such a case Blessed are the Persons whose God is the Lord. Do I resolve to abide by my Choice and to trust in Christ for Persevering Grace And shall I not ought I not to take Comfort in it Shall I not give God the Glory of his infinite Goodness by adhering to him and rejoycing in him notwithstanding all Temptations to the contrary Casting all my Care upon him and quieting my self in the All-sufficiency of my Heavenly Father having a God in Covenant who will supply all my wants and take care of me as his own Shall I not give him the Glory of his Truth and Power by trusting him in every Condition By Confidence in his Promise Dependance on his Word Faithfulness to his Interest and Constancy in his Service to the end Is it not a most encouraging Thought That God doth never abandon any who do not first forsake him And after such strict Engagements as I have laid upon my self shall I ever strike the fatal stroke with my own Hand Shall I be off and on say and unsay promise and retract And after I have proceeded thus far shall I forsake the Fountain of Living Waters and turn again to broken Cisterns After I have examin'd my self consider'd my ways confess'd my Sins and upon serious Deliberation am come to a Resolve and in pursuance of it have devoted my self with such solemnity to be the Lord's shall I ever after this forsake Him and my own Mercies and lightly esteem the Rock of my Salvation Now I have learn'd in some measure what Sin is by the sorrows and anguish of an Hearty Repentance now I have discover'd so much of the Snares and Devices of Satan whereby I have formerly been betray'd now I am sensible of the dangerous and powerful influence and infection of bad Company the Treachery of fleshly Lusts the bewitching Temptations of the World and have tasted a little by my own Experience of the Pleasantness of Wisdom's Paths the Peace and Satisfaction of Devotedness to God by the present Rewards of a calm Conscience the communications of Divine Grace and the Encouragement of an Holy Hope c. and am persuaded of the Stability of his Word and the Certainty of Eternal Life to all who continue in Well-doing shall I after all this ever break with God again Shall I ever cancel this Engagement violate this my vow and falsifie so many repeated Promises and Resolutions Oh that his Power may rest upon me and his Grace work in me both to will and to do that this God may be my God for ever and my Guide unto Death Let me never re-assume this Gift and Surrender of my self or defraud God of his Right and Propriety His I am and him I will serve living wholly to Him using all I have for him being willing he should do what he list with his own and consequently dispose of me and of all that any way belongs to me as shall seem good in his eyes I am Thine O Lord save me Command me my work appoint me my Duty direct my Station order my Condition Let me be Thine tho' employed in the meanest service and the most laborious self-denying work Tho' I should be but a Door-keeper in thine House an Hewer of Wood or a Drawer of Water Tho' I must pinch the flesh and swim against the Tide and renounce what before I valued yet This God shall be my God for ever By this means when I come to die if God should add more Years to the little number I have past besides this I have now begun I may be able to say with Upright Hezekiah Remember Lord how I have walked before Thee in mine Integrity that in the face of Death and the Grave in the view of another World and the near prospect of Eternity I may be able to Rejoyce in Hope and say Lord Jesus Receive my Spirit Thou art my Saviour and I have waited for thy Salvation I have sought Thee with my whole Heart I have chosen thy Favour rather than Worldly Grandeur and Prosperity I have prized thy Love and endeavour'd to obey Thee as the best Expression of my own tho' with many Imperfections which I bewail I have delighted more in thy Service and Presence than in the Pleasures of Sin and Vanity thy Testimonies have been the Joy of my Heart I took no delight in the Company of the Ungodly after I was devoted to Thee O let me not have my Portion with them in the other World Fortifie me now against the King of Terrors strengthen me in this my last Conflict enable me to triumph over Death by the Cross of Christ my victorious Redeemer and carry me through the dark valley at the divorce of Soul and Body and grant me an abundant entrance into thine Heavenly Kingdom Let me be numbred among thy Chosen and my Body wait in Hope till the General Resurrection that I may then see thy Glory and dwell with Thee for ever I gave up my self to Thee and do not repent my Choice acknowledge me now for Thine and do not lose that which is thy own Lord Jesus Thou hast paid my Ransom to deliver me from Satan and from Eternal Wrath Oh do not now reject me and cast me off Is it not thine Office and Covenant to save those that Trust in Thee Oh remember thy Word unto thy Servant wherein thou hast caused me to Hope when I ventured my Salvation on thy Promise and trusted to thy Gracious Word for Eternal Life Thy Love hath already overcome the greatest impediments of my Salvation 'T is as easie now to receive me as to Love me Thou hast prepared Glory for thy Redeemed ones and hast bid me believingly to follow thee and wait for thy Salvation Thou hast begotten me to a lively hope by the Incorruptible Seed of the Word Let me not now be depriv'd of the Inheritance Can that Love that pitied me in my Blood and fetcht me from the Gates of Hell now suffer me to fall into it Oh Crown thy Grace and perfect thy Preparatory Mercy with Everlasting Mercy By