superior many degrees desist from interrupting me or I shall quickly send you to that place where you must be content to wait churlish Charons leature for your passage Mrs. Hope If I can but keep my countenance now I shall have fine sport between ' em Aside Phant. Madam I make no question but my services have acquainted you with the height of my love and therefore what I now can say will be but a tautology Y' are not ignorant that I am not only a Gentleman but a Traveller too and to shew you what quaint observations I have gathered abroad I 'le first represent to your view the common salutations of each Country Thus the neat French mode thus the proud and stately Spanish nay hold still or thus after the devouring Italian manner I shall omit the slavering Dutch fashion as too clownish for my imitation Mrs. Hope Sir your Prologue 's too long Hic Wud a were come to his Epilogue once Aside Phant. To please you Madam then I 'le be shorter Hic That 's not the way to please her Aside Phant. Can you love Mrs. Hope As I 'me a woman I 've a mixture of all passions in me Phant. Then consequently that of love but commonly womens affections are grounded upon self-interest if they match with those whose estates can't satisfie their ambition 't is to be supposed then that there 's something extraordinary that supplies that defect Mrs. Hope You speak mistically I know not what you mean Phant. My meaning is not far from you which time and your permission may make you acquainted withall Madam my face is not so contemptible as tempting experience confirms my belief I ne're yet in all the Countries I came acquainted with took the pains to court any all contending who should first prostitute her self to my pleasure I liv'd in Vtopia three months where no English man before durst venture the Dukes only daughter taking notice of my super-excellent qualifications as likewise the exact simetrical proportion of my body fell so deeply in love with me that I was necessitated to satisfie her desires to save her life And to save mine the Duke being informed of what was done there being no shipping in the harbour I was fain to put to sea in a Wash-boal and the only sayl I had was the fore part of my shirt Hic A yard I grant him But what did a do for want of a mast aside Phant. And by a strange providence I Landed at Graves-end The Court was suddenly inform'd of my arrival and immediately was profer'd I know not what a year to keep 'em company only I knew what they drove at for they intended to make me the pattern to wear their cloaths by Hic But not how to keep ' em aside Phant. I cud have serv'd in stead of a jury of french Taylors for the inventing of a new fashion as likewise they knew I cud teach 'em to speak well and redeem their Tongues from being pensioners to absurd silence Mrs. Hope I now plainly see you are a Travelles Hic How handsomely the gives him the lye but the fool I believe ha's not so much witt to apprehend it aside Phant. What you express is nothing but truth Nay more I durst challenge the whole world to parallel my strange observations Hic More strange then true but I 'me glad a has travel'd so far from his subject aside Phant. I 'le tell you one of 'em I met with a fellow about a league from Pernassus falling into discourse for a spake perfectly the Rabbinical and I answer'd him in mank's we at length concluded to descend the foresaid hill and drink our mornings draught at Hellicon having carrows'd so long that we began to be mellow a spake to me in five several Languages at one instant Mrs. Hope I have heard of those that have spoken their words by clusters but certainly the tother 's impossible Phant. The Method that he observ'd therein will salve up all contradiction for with his tongue a wud vowel out the lofty Italian in the mean time the proud Spanish came glittering through the rolling of his sparkling eies his cheeks being swel'd with Wind blew out the blustering Dutch a snuffled the French through his nose and the grumbling of his dissatisfied belly at the same time spake articulately the Hungarian I cud tell you of a thousand more which are now too tedious to relate yet hereafter the relation of 'em will serve for pritty divertisements between us by the fire side in a winter night Therefore to conclude if my Travel Wit Birth Breeding and a handsom Personage will not invite you to embrace my motion I know not what will Consider of these things seriously and I shall ne'r fear that an Hic Vbique can rob me of your affections Mrs. Hope Sir your discourse has been so prolix that it will require a very considerable time to find out what you drive at However give me leave to hear you both Hic That 's my Cue Lady give me leave to salute you after my fashion Mrs. Hope I 've been troubled with too many of 'em already yet for once how is' t Hic After the Hic ubique manner thus kisses mouth eies c. Phant. But that 's not as you said every where Hic I know that I 've done as much as was civil pray do you the rest Mrs. Hope Such scurrilous discourse renders you ridiculous and reflects likewise upon me Hic Madam I shall then wave such deviations and render my self in such terms that may be suitable to the greatnesse of my affections Prose is too low a style to expresse my self in therefore thus Free and unstain'd with base intent My love to you I tender A heart not gloss'd with complement As free I do surrender T is Love commands then how can I So great a God as this deny Your Beauty and those better parts your vertues which surprize Where e're they shine on mortal hearts Extinguisht have mine Eyes And 't is but just that I shud be Led by that power that blinded me I will not vow protest nor swear nor cog as others do But only say my fayrest dear I live in bliss by loving you And sooner may the Cyprian Dame Live chast then I put out my flame Rivers their courses back shall turn the roveling Orbe stand still And sulphurous Aetna cease to burn before I change my will Then give me hope before I faint No Idol e'r had truer Saint Mrs. Hope This is something to the purpose if they be your own Hic Madam I 'me no plageary I ne're yet wanted words to Express my mind and therefore need not borrow Phant. But you can steal how cudst thou have the face to repeat these verses I being present thou know'st I told thee I made 'em five years since for my first Mistress Hic Let not thy Impudent lying provoke me too far Phant. I ne're took the lye yet without satisfaction
therefore don't repeat it lest I make thee a companion for subterian spirits Hic Thou hadst best if tha 'st a minde to be hang'd Phant. What for killing an Elfe or an Ass Hic No I mean thou durst as well be hang'd as draw Phant. I 'le try that drawes Hic Nay have at ye then drawes Phant. Murder Murder Mrs. Hope Help Help Enter Kiltory and Patrick Kilt What Draw upon a woman cowardly villians draws what your intent tell me quickly or this all-piercing stell shall set your bloods abroach Hic Sir We came not to injure the Gentlewoman Mrs. Hope Sir They are both my servants and 't is Jelousy that occasions 'em to quarrel Kilt Madam I shud think such poor spirited fellowes deserve not the honour of that title Mrs. Hope I thing so too Sir I was forc't to entertain 'em because I knew not how to be rid of ' em Kilt Madam I 'le quickly do you that courtesie and by so doing I may pleasure my self her beauty hath already captivated me aside Villians Expect not the honour to fall by my hands Patrick go cut their throats Patr. For fuat joy to put the Kill upon my shelf Kilt Go sirrah or I 'le cut your's turns to Mrs. Hopewel Patr. O yea for Christis shake make help for my shelf moyster or else poor Kilpatrick will be made Kil upon Kilt To provoke cowards too much is the way to make 'em desperate Beats 'em of sirrah did not you tell me you cud fight upon that account I entertain'd you Patr. Yes feat at cuff or skean Kilt None serves me but those that durst blow in a charged pistol and valew a sword no more than a cudgel Patr. See for this by got a chree he wu'd put some lead in my belly but there was no sharge powder upon the pishtol he did make intention to cut off my head feat Kilt Be gone I shall talk with you some other time Madam shu'd I say I love you from this interview you wu'd condemn me as rash but blame me not if your beauty commands me to be yours eternally May I request the great favour as to know your lodging Mrs. Hope It deserves not your knowledge Your pardon Sir Exit Kilt Follow her sirrah and see where she houses and bring me word at the three Tunns If she disdainful proves then I 'le give ore 'T is but the second I will court no more Finis Actus secundi Act 3. Scene 1. Enter Contriver and Cassandra Contr. MAdam I hope the fervency of my love will in some measure excuse the boldness of my intrusion since the time that I first saw you I have been extreamly impatient and the force of my imagination was so strong as to make me conceit every minute of Delay to be a compleat day till I had found out an opportunity to make you acquainted with the reality of my affections Cassand And pray Sir what do you propose to your self now you have found it Contr. I shall in part ease my self of a great load of love that lies on my heart Cassand Pray Sir if that be all disburthen your self quickly charity commands me to give you my attention if that will do you good Contr. Very much if you 'l let my penetrating expressions sinke into the hollow recesses of your heart Cass I can't promise you that for I know not what you mean every word you speak to me is an Hieroglyphick or some forraign language which will require an Interpreter Contr. Then Madam I 'le be my own and unriddle that Emblem which seemingly puzzles you so much to understand I love you and that in so great a measure that were the quintescence of all love contracted together it could not exceed mine Cassand I 'me sorry that you have shot your Arrows at the wrong mark your hopes have mistaken their lodging and you have cast Anchor in a bootless harbour Contr. Pray don't say so I have a stronger faith than to be mov'd with such customary denials which your politick sex still defends themselves withal when the forlorn hope of their affection receives it's first incounter Lady you are flesh blood and can't be out-law'd from the Court of Love though your beauty birth and education may advance the verge of your thoughts to a far higher fortune than my self Yet I question not but the strength constancy of my Love may ballance it Cass Sir your eagerness puts me in mind of a common saying that what is violent is not permanent every days experience informs us that hot love grows soon cold yet what I speak is but by hear-say for as the tenderness of my years may perswade any that I am unacquainted with Love-affairs the same argument may make you know that I understand not your amorous discourse Cont. The many examples of younger matches are enough to sway down the subtil evasions of your sophistical arguments Cass Ther 's no contradicting you for they say men have the art of perswading women contrary to their own beliefs though for my own part I think I am proof against it as designing my affections to be guided by my Parents will and pleasure Contr. Were I but assur'd of your consent I am confident of your Fathers assent and then there can be no remora or impediment to our conjunction Cass Excuse me Sir the world is now grown very deceitful therefore 't is requisite I advise with my self consult you as you please with my Father Contr. The result of which I hope will tend to your lasting contentment exit Cass I never yet cud give a reason for Antipathy as soon as I saw him methought of all men living I lov'd him least Enter Jane How now what 's the matter with you Jane The matter Mrs. I believe I have matter enough in my hand for you O the sweetest Gentleman I think in my conscience that ever lay by a womans side Cass What ar't mad Wench Jane Yes and so w'ud you too had you seen what I did Cass What was that Jane I tell you the finest Gentleman I warrant 'a has Cass 'T is no matter what a has but what of him Jane He gave me a Letter and enjoin'd me to deliver it to your own hands Cass A Letter for mel sure th' art mistaken Jane Will you believe your own eies delivers it Cass These for that matchless piece of beauty Mrs. Cassandra Thrivewel 'T is a fair title I 'le see if the contents correspond reads Madam How well did nature in her plots contrive A way to keep her own prerogative By the sweet Edicts of her subtil Law Pride quakes and savage creatures stand in awe Them Man commands and makes their fury fall But Woman Natures wonder conquers all I that have felt the tempers of each Zone And know most climates better than my own Cu'd never love till your commanding Eies Shot schorching flames and did my soul surprize I am your Captive therefore must
amazing Get some empty Glasses and Gally-pots with Inscriptions on 'em And a Catalogue of Diseases fairly printed all which at least I 'le pretend to cure which done I 'le cause my Bills of an outlandish new come learned Doctor to be affixt to all corners of Streets and not a pissing place shall escape ' em Thus by this Plot I 'le change my low condition A broken Trades-man makes a sound Physician Finis Actus Tertii ACT. IV. SCEN. 1. Enter Thrivewell and Contriver Thrive I thank you for your timely advertisement I hope the bargain will not prove improfitable Cont. May all than you take in hand prosper but Sir I have another businesse to acquaint you withal Thrive What 's that Sir Cont. The love I bear your Daughter makes me humbly beseech you to accept me for a Son Thrive 'T is â—…er of weight and will require much serious consideration Have you made her acquainted with your affections Cont. With your pardon Sir I shall confess I discover'd my never-dying love to her but her answer thereto she refer'd to your Disposal Neither is it my desire to captivate any Maidens heart till I am authorized by her Parents Thrive You speak prudently And truly Mr. Contriver let me tell you I ever had a good conceipt of you and 't is my opinion that you will thrive The consideration of which perswades me to give you my consent and you shall have my authority to command her Boy call it Cassandra Enter Cassandra Girle what think'st of a blusband Cassand Sir If I may freely deliver my opinion not as others do Thrive How 's that Cassand They may fancy to themselves pleasure in the injoyment of that the very thought of which is troublesom to me Thrive Come come you know not what a Husband is till you have tryed Cassand I wish I never may Thrive Away with this dissimulation Your Mother told me as much when I woo'd her first and yet was never at rest till I was assur'd to her Here 's a Gentleman I respect in whose affections if you 'l be obedient I intend to make you happy Cassand The state I now enjoy provided it suited with your will is already more happy than alteration can make it Good Father pardon me And Sir for your affections I thank you yet deserye 'em not in the least but I must beg your excuse too since in me I find no appetite to relish love Cont. It 's a seeming piece of Injustice not to retalliate love for love Madam Thrive You are a foolish Girle and know not what 's good Into what inconveniencies would you run your selves were yee your own Carvers 'T is well therefore that you have careful Parents to provide what 's best for you I wonder what recompence can you make us for all our care but by being dutiful and obedient the neglect whereof renders you notoriously guilty Cassan Sir Let me be disowned for your Daughter rather then be branded with that superlative crime of Disobedience Thrive Why well said now you say somthing Mr. Contriver let not any thing disincourage you for her denyal onely proceeded from her modesty Let us leave her therefore to consider on your Proposals and my Resolutions They can't but take deeply with her But I must talk with you in private about some thing that must be done before the Nuptials are celebrated Exit Thrivewell Cont. I 'le follow you instantly Madam the utmost that I now can say is but the same in effect of what I told you heretofore In your presence I can speak in no other Dialect but that of love I had just now come into my head I must think on 't another time I hope your Fathers good counsil with the consideration of my tender affections will in a little time work such effects that may satisfie the eagernesse of my desires the full content of your self to the compleat satisfaction of your Parents Exit Contriver Cassand Unhappy I that am thus in the very spring of my love thwarted by unwelcome contradictions I stand betwixt two extreams the Duty I owe my Father on the one side commanding me to love one whom in all the World I love least On the other side my own inclinations forces me to affect him whose love I prefer before my own welfare What shall I do methinks Age shu'd consider of others that are youthful by themselves that were so 〈◊〉 in the same condition They had a time to love and wu'd have thought it hard measure shu'd the freedom of their funcies have been contradicted I know not what to think of old Folks experience which they continually inculcate into our memories to perswadeous not to love without some palpable Advantage â— unto me are but dead precepts Enter Peregrine Peregrine 'T is she Be resolute and be happy Madam my Messenger of love I question not but you have received and shu'd infinitely rejoyce to hear you have made him welcome The impalsive springs of my affections brought me hither to second and confirm the contents of what I have writ If I have offended I desire to be tryed by no other Jury then that of your charitable thoughts and being Assaigned at Loves Bar I now expect from your Tongue the Foreman the verdict either of life or death Cassand Sir the evidence as yet has not found the Indictment therefore I might suspend my Judgment in pronouncing you Guiltlesse but that I cannot but freely acquit you Peregr Then Lady to your Ladiships will I pay my fees kisses assure your sell I 've wilt nothing neither will I speak anything but what I am ready to seal with the purest of my blood O that my thoughts were visible My heart 's too little to contain the greatnesse of my affections Cassand I doubt your Words and Lines are all but tryals of a Maidens weaknesse Where are too too many of your Sex that are too too prone to glory in their erecting Frophies over our too too much credulity We Maids have tender hearts and are apt to take notice of worth especially when we find it in conjunction with constancy Pereg. Cu'd you love that man heartily then that wu'd love you constantly Cassand I think I cu'd provided he were well stockt with virtue Pereg. That 's not positive Cassand I both can and will then Pereg. Why then By all the Powers above I am he Cassand Have you caught me thus but 't is no matter since I cu'd no longer hold Then by all the Powers above and below I am yours But Sir my Father has commanded me to love one Contriver but assure your self he shall never injure your interest in me 't is possible he may hinder it a while Pereg. He to our constant loves shall adde no doubt His own unworthiness will work him out Exeunt Act. 4. Scen. 2. Enter Thrivewell and Contriver Thrive HEnceforth I shall bestow on you the title of my Son Cont. And from this moment I shall esteem