15 that seede fell on this ground this good ground for so I then was and with an honest vers 15 and good heart having heard the word I kept it and brought forth fruit with patience Sure I did I brought forth fruit good fruit or else I am much deceaved But why then Gen 3.18 doe I now lye fallow Why doe I produce nothing but thornes thistles the curse of the earth Heb 6.8 1. Cor. 3.9 Why nothing but thornes briers whose end is to be burned I was in those dayes ah I was Gods husbandrie but since that time hee hath left mee off my ground is growne out of heart quite out of heart for hee would digge mee noe more hee would plough mee noe more hee would soyle mee noe more But what is the cause of his anger Wherfore did hee thus leave mee thus forsake mee Alas the reason is too manifest I would needes take the plough out of his hands I would not suffer him willingly any longer to breake up the fallow ground of my heart Ier 4.3 but I my selfe would plough And what is the effect What is the event thereof Nothing but miserie nothing but woe for I have ploughed wickednesse Hos 10 13. and I have reaped iniquity and eaten the fruit of lyes I would needes follow mine owne wayes Deu 22 10. and plough with an oxe and an asse with thoughts cleane uncleane pure and impure ioyning them together and therfore to my woe I find the words of King Solomon in mee most sadly ve rified Prov. 21.4 Iob 4.8 that the ploughing of the wicked is sinne And yet I ahwretched I doe still follow the plough I plough iniquitie and sow wickednesse and yet for all that I looke not to reape the Same but I expect fondly I expect a harvest of goodnesse a croppe of blessings Ps 129.6 But now I find that those blessings doe wither even before they grow up The mower I find vers 7. cannot fill his hand with them nor hee that bindeth up sheaves his bosome Neither doe they which goe by say vers 8. The blessing of the Lord be upon you wee blesse you in the name of the Lord. Oh if God would but once againe take mee into his care and husbandrie Ps 1.3 I might bring forth good fruit in due season Then though I should goe on my way weeping Ps 126.6 yet I might beare pretious seede come againe with reioycing bringing my sheaves with mee This I might doe if hee would manure mee if hee would dung mee Lord 1. Cor. 4.13 let mee rather be made as the filth of the world the off-scowring of all things then not be manured by thee Make mee to account all things but dung Phil. 3.8 that I may winne thee and that so winning thee I may once againe be in heart that I may have a heart Deu 5.29 even such a heart may be in mee that I may feare thee and keepe all thy commandements illway that it may be well with mee for ever I had once a soft heart like Iob Iob 23.16 Eph. 4.32 2. Chr. 34.27 for God made it soft and the Allmighty troubled mee I had a tender heart apt to forgive a heart that was tender for I humbled my selfe before my God like Iosiah and rent my clothes and wept before him Hee did mollifie it made it fleshie hee tooke the stonie heart out of my flesh Eze 11.19 gave mee an heart of flesh not givē to the flesh to the fowlenesse the filthinesse of the flesh but such a heart of flesh as was flexible soft easie to be pierced I could weepe lament for every sinne for every transgression which I had committed against my good God It was a melting heart it would melt like the hearts of the Babilonians Is 13.7 Ps 22.14 when their destruction was threatned to be effected by the Medes it would melt like waxe in the midst of my bowells And well it might melt for it would burne it would burne within mee like the hearts of the two disciples goeing to Emaus Luc 24 32. yet this heart-burning was noe disease neither but as it was with David when mine heart was hott within mee then in my meditation the fire burned Ps 39.3 And well againe might it melt into teares for it was a mourning heart Eccl 7.4 Io 16.6 it delighted to be in the house of mourning it was full of sorrow as were the hearts of the disciples when Christ had tould them of the persecutions which they should suffer I had greate thoughts of heart Iud 5.15 Ps 119.161 such as were for the divisions of Reuben a heart very awfull for it stood in a we of the word of my God This heart of flesh so soft and tender so mollified and melting so burning so mourning this sorrowfull and thoughtfull heart was so apt for any impression of goodnesse that like unto Solomon I could find in it 2 Sam. 7.27 I could find an aptnes in it to pray unto the Lord. Prov 3.3 It was a writing table God had written mercy and trueth upon the table there of and in more perfect characters too then the Gentiles had Rom 2 15. I could shew the worke of the law written in my heart It was a loving heart Mat 5.43 it would love my neighbour and not hate mine enemies It was a broken heart and allthough 't was broken yet was it whole I could seeke the Lord like Iehosaphat 2 Chr 22.9 with my whole heart Yea this I could doe as Abimelech sayd of himselfe concerning his taking of Sarah Gen 20.5 Ps 119.10 Abraham's wife I could doe it in the integrity of my heart innocency of my hands With this whole heart I could seeke the Lord I could love him I could believe I could praise him Deu 4.29 c 6.5 I could seeke him with all my heart and with all my soule I could love him yea I could love the Lord my God with all my heart and with all my soule with all my might I could believe as Philip sayd to the Eunuch I could believe Act 8.37 Ps 9.1 even with all my heart I could praise him all so even with David I could praise the Lord with my whole heart Ps 119.80 This whole heart was sound too as David prayed even sound in the statutes of my God that I might not be ashamed This sound heart was single too single even like those good servants whom Saint Paul commandeth to be obedient unto them that are their masters according to the flesh with feare and trembling Ep 6.5 in singlnesse of heart as unto Christ Act 2.46 I could eate my meate with gladnesse Act 2.46 Ps 12.2 and singlnesse of heart It was not then my custome to speake vanitie unto my neighbour to speake with flattering
lips or with a double heart And though thus single was my heart 1 King 4.29 yet was it noe small one it was large God had given unto mee as unto Solomon both wisedome Ps 119.32 Ps 17.3 and understanding and largnesse of heart and like David I did runne the way of his commandements when hee had thus enlarged it This large heart was a proved one too for God had proved it and Visited mee and tryed mee when I was purposed that my mouth should not transgresse Ps 7.9 1. Chr 29.17 Ps 26.2 It was tryed tryed by my God by my righteous God which tryeth the hearts and reines even by him who tryeth the heart and hath pleasure in uprightnesse the very selfe same God did examine mee and prove mee hee tryed my reines my heart And this loving heart this broken yet whole heart this sound and single heart Ps 101.2 1. King 8.61 Act 16.14 this large and tryed heart was found perfect I did walke with in my house with a perfect heart it was perfect with the Lord my God to walke in his statutes to keepe his commandements It was an open heart it was opened lke Lydia's that I could attend to the things that were spoken by our Pauls It opened so wide or at least with sorrow it was so filled that at length it broke Ier 23.9 Mine heart within mee like unto Ieremiah's was broken all my bones did shake I was like a drunken man and like a man whom wine hath overcome O full well too it thē was with mee even when my heart was broken for it had beene stone nothing but stone before when neither promises nor mercies neither menaces nor judgments could worke upon it It had beene a stone a three-cornerd stone untill it pleased him to breake it who is the head-stone in the corner the head-stone Mat 21 42. because the strongest in the whole building sustaining the fabrick The head-stone in the corner knitting cimenting and uniting together both the Iewes and the Gentiles 1. Pet 2 8. The head-stone in the corner who is a stone of stumbling unto many and a rock of offence at which the Iewes tooke such offence that they hurt them selves against this stone in the corner Yet hee that was reiected by the Iewes and scornfully under-vallewed was unto mee a most skillfull excellent lapidarie hee knew the stone of my heart and at mine intreatie hee broke it hee broke it in pieces Yea hee wrought so powerfully in mee that through the helpe of him I had learned to rent it to rent my heart Ioel 2.13 and not my garments and turne to the Lord my God It was made an acceptable sacrifice to my God for I had a broken spirit a broken Ps 51.17 a contrite heart which hee will noe despise Hee hee is that great Iehouah who is high Ies 57.15 and excellent who inhabiteth eternitie whose name is holy who dwelleth in the high and holy place yet with him all so that is of a contrite humble spirit to revive the spirit of the humble and to revive the heart of the contrite ones Hee it is who hath promised that hee will not breake a bruised reede Is 42.3 nor quench the smoaking flaxe but on the contrarie Ps 147 3. will heale the broken in heart and bind up their wounds By him who is thus high and excellent by him who is thus full of compassion as not to bruise the reede nor quench the flaxe by him who is thus infinite in mercy that hee healeth those that are broken in heart even by the same God in testimonie of his love was my stony heart broken O it had beene an uncircumcised heart Deut. 30.6 but afterwards the Lord my God did circumcise it to love himselfe with all my heart and with all my soule that I might live So open so broken so rent so contrite so circumcised it was Act 7.51 that I resisted not the Holy Ghost Lord what happie dayes did I then enioy when my heart was thus qualified with goodnesse When it was thus acceptable to my God! But now alasse 't is quite otherwise That heart that good heart of mine is gone is lost is polluted Peradventure some anger had beene seated in my gall but I laboured that it should not increase into a sin Peradventure some joy was placed in my splene but that joy howsoëver was chiefly in the Lord and in my heart was carefully preserved the feare of his name That heart was then the cabinet the store house the treasurie of wisedome wherein were two with-drawing chambers divided but by a partition in which were placed the fountaines of lively blood of life it selfe even the life of grace given by the liberall hand of the God of my life But now oh my poore heart it hath forsaken this breast this breast of a distressed forlorne woman and in the roome thereof is crept into my bosome a heart so hard that when I sinite my breast in my deepest sorrow my very hand re-bound's by reason of the hardnesse of this rockie heart Often have I heard people complaine of the stone in the kidnies or the bladder but I am enforced to a new complaint even of the stone in the heart O that my God would cutt it and take this stone out of it or else give mee such a potion of sorrow and contrition that it might prove the most soveraigne saxafrage to break this stone A stone here is wich I can feele both by the weight and the hardnesse there of but what kind of stone I cannot determine Surely it can be noe pomoise none of that stone which in some sort may be sayd to be even heavier then it selfe because though when it is whole it is full of pores full of holes very hollow even as hollow as my heart yet when it is broken in pieces when it is stamped and beaten to powder it seemes to be more ponderous then when it was whole If such a one be in my heart ô that my God would breake this heart ô that hee would grind it or beate it to powder then peradventure it would be heavy for my sinns and ponder mine iniquities Or it may be that such a stone is in it as those were which the Lord did promise that the Israelites should find in the land of Canaan Deut. 8 9. even stones that were iron for surely my heart is as hard as iron And yet though it be so the patient Iob assureth mee that euen waters weare the stones Iob 14.19 O that my God would cause the trickling of my teares to weare away the stone of my heart Or if it be iron ô that hee would cause it to swimme in the Iordane of my sorrowes as once Elisha caused the iron and steele to doe 2. King 6.6 which were tempered together in the head of the are When I feele for my good heart oh
I cannot find it but in the roome thereof is layd such a perverse one that the edge of compunction cannot pieres it pietie cannot mollifie it intreaties cannot move it threatmings cannot stirre it and stripes cannot wound it It is ungratefull though never so much benefitted it is unsaithfull though never so much intrusted it is refractorie though never so much counselled It is severe when it judgeth shamelesse when it thinketh and dreadlesse when danger neerest approacheth it It is churlish to the courteous and loving onely to those that are wicked It forgetteth what is past neglecteth what is present and provideth not for the time to come and to speake the trueth it neither feareth God Lu 18.2 nor reverenceth man Oh now had I but my good heart once againe how would I cherish it how would I preserve it But alasse I feare that I wish too late for it is fled and I doubt that it will never be called back never be sent mee home againe For this losse ô for this unspeakeable this dreadfull losse I will weep and weepe and nothing but weepe untill my teares be multiplied into a river Who knowes but that my litle Moses may be put into an arke though but of bulrushes Ex 2.3 and be layd in the flags by the brinke of my river be found againe and once more be delivered into my carefuller custodie If so it should happen how would I cherish it ô how tenderly would I nurse it up in my bosome Lu 2.48 I must weepe for it before I shall find it and like unto Ioseph and Marie seeking my redeemer I must seeke it sorrowing I will seeke it in the night in the night of my sorrow and each teare upon mine eye-lids shall twinkle like a starre and light mee to discover it It is noe shame to grieve for soch a losse A very Stoick would forget his stupiditie and bemoane the losse of such a heart This heart which I have is none of mine 1. King 3.20 The devill hath used mee as one harlot had done the other hee hath risen at mid-night and stollen away my live child and layd his owne dead child in my bosome But what now shall I doe Where is Solomon to administer justice I know that Sathan would be contented to have the child divided that hee might have halfe then hee knoweth my Creatour will disdaine the other But my God is the right owner of the living child ô that hee would but intrust mee to nurse it that this dead child might be cast out of dores I would be contented the living should be divided even with a sword Eph 6.17 but that sword shall be the sword of the spirit which is the word of God by this division the tempter shall be divided from mee Act 20 19. Saint Paul served God with all humilitie of mind with many teares If I could but intreate this heart which I have to be a litle humbled it might peradventure dissolue into teares for the losse of my best Why should not I endeavour in my mourning to follow the stepps of that blessed Apostle Doubtlesse that sorrowfull convert did oftener write with his teares then his inke and taught his paper to swell with those pearly dropps which fell from his eyes When that Doctor of the Gentiles was bound upon a voyage intended to steere his course tâ—â—erusalem Act 20 37. vers 38 all the elders did sorely weepe fell on his neck and kissed him sorrowing most of all for those words which hee spake that they should see his face noe more But when my Paul my heart departed I had noe such warning given mee otherwise certainly wee should have had a very solemne farewell wee should have had one shewer of teares or at least have kissed at parting But since with dry eyes wee forsooke each other it shall not now be too late for me to weepe Mat 26 49. O that I could be admitted but to give it one kisse It should not be like to that of Iudas to Christ I would not seeke the betraying but the preserving of it But I wâ—sh in vaine for it heare's mee not I sigh in vaine for it approacheth not Howsoever weepe I must sorrow I must most of all for feare I see it noe more part 3 The third part Of the Soliloquie Griefe for an ould and sinfull heart and an earnest desire of a righteous new one VVHen Delilah was inquisitive to know where the strength of Samson lay and hee had thrice deceaved her Iud 16.16 shee so pressed him with her words and urged him that at length as the text saith hee tould her all his heart vers 17 Surely hee was either violently enamoured with her beauty or wonderfuly transported with the love of his ease that would tell all his heart to his enemie What if my best friend that I have in the would what if God should require the like at my hands Should I doe it Nay could I doe it Certainly I am afraid that either I have noe heart or if I have one that I doe not rightly know it or if I doe rightly know it I suspect that I should be ashamed to confesse all the evil that is in it When Solomon begged a guift of his sonne that guift was noe more then what was truely a debt and yet it was noe sleight one Prov. 23.26 it was a heart My Son give mee thine heart I would to God that my father my creatour my God would say unto mee as Solomon did to his sonne that hee would call mee his child But what if hee should What if hee should all so call for my heart As indeede hee doeth What should I answer him In the ould law if an Israëlite had but touched an uncleane thing Luc 5.2 though it were hidden from him yet hee was all so decreed uncleane Certainly hee who would not suffer his people to touch what was uncleane cannot himselfe accept of that which is uncleane King Solomon speake's in generall and send 's the challenge to the whole world in these words Prov 20.9 who can say I have made my heart cleane I am pure from sin When I compare these places together what can I think of my selfe What can I imagine that God will say unto mee when I bring him this heart Assuredly I must needes expect that hee will cry out as the people did by the garments yea by the owners of the garments the Priests of Sion Depart it is uncleane depart depart True it is that this heart which I have Lam 4.15 is full of wickednesse full of iniquity yea so full that it sends back my prayers fruitlesse into my bosome for the Lord hath assured mee by the mouth of his prophet Ps 66.18 that If I regard iniquity in my heart hee will not heare mee What now shal become of mee If hee be not my God where is my
prayed I 4. What Scripture read I 5. How did I understand it 6. How did I meditate upon it 7. How did I practise it 8. What businesse did I 9. How lawfull was my imployment 10. How diligently did I follow it 11. To what end and purpose did I it 12. What thoughts entertained I 13. What companie kept I 14. What good words spake I 15. What bad words uttered I 16. How moderately and how thankfully did I cate and drinke 17. What recreation tooke I 18. How lawfull was it 19. How long did it continue 20. Was it not affected with too much delight 21. By it was I made more apt for my vocation 22. How free from offending others did I demeane my selfe 23. How did I benefit my neighbours both in words and deedes 24. What reliefe did I afford to the poore 25. With what singlenesse privacy gave I it 26. How often prayed I 27. With what zeale and devotion 28. What ould sinns thought I on 29. With what sorrow and contrition 30. With what holy desire of revenge upon my selfe 31. What particular sinne did I especially repent of 32. What coÌ„fort had I in that repentance 33. How carefull was I to avoyd temptations either to that or other offences 34. What new sinne this day hath beene added to mine account 35. What ould offence hath beene new finned over 36. What teares have I shed for it 37. What sighes and groanes have I sent to heaven for pardon for it 38. The Sunne is sett Eph 4.26 Is it not gone downe on my 1. Wrath 2. Envy 3. Uncharitablnesse 4. Ungodlinesse LOrd how wearie am I in the searching out of my sinnes who have beene too too much delighted in the acting of them How doe I droope and retch eagerly desiring to take my rest before I have yet summed up mine account O that my heart had a pulse as audible as hath the clock and that it would strike both truely and lowdly whensoëver I offend that I might heare it that I might seele it that I might know it that so I might repent Though God created darknesse Gen 1.5 Ps 104 20. and called it Night though hee maketh darknesse and it is night wherein all the beasts of the forrest doe creepe forth yet hee created not the darknesse of mine understanding O that all the beasts of the forrest all the sinnes of my heart would now creepe forth that I might see them in their ugly shapes and toyle them in my griefe or drowne them in my sorrow Hee that I know doeth see them I as well know doeth loath them Ps 139.12 The darknesse hideth not from him but the night shineth as the day the darknesse and light to him are both alike Hee who in the night commanded both the Manna Num 11.9 and the deaw to fall upon the campe of the Israëlites can if hee please command the deaw of his grace to fall this night upon my sinfull soule and with his celestiall Manna hee can so refresh my inward man that I may as well live unto him as by him Hee can leade mee Ex 13.21 hee can goe before mee as hee did before his people by day in a pillar of a clowde to leade mee the way and by night in a pillar of fire to give mee light to goe by day and night Lord with thy people of Israel I travaile through the wildernesse of this world Let the fire of thy love ô Christ leade mee through the darknesse of this present life that so when these dayes of my sinne shall be finished Ps 56.13 I may reigne with thee in the light of the living About this time it was 2. Sam. 11.2 that David arose â—rom off his bed now I am preparing to goe â—…to mine even in the evening tide and hee â—alked upon the roofe of the Kings house and â—…om the roofe hee saw Bathsheba washing herselfe and by the eye hee was betrayed to the â—ct of adulterie His eyes were quick and â—…en to wickednesse which by the time of the night should rather have beene ready to draw the curtaines What Did shee purposely wash her selfe that shee might be the more uncleane The more royally defiled Did â—ee purposely arise that hee might dangeâ—ously fall and that not from the roose of the house of the King but from the statutes â—nd ordinances of the most high God O â—ee thinks 't is but shifting the sexe and in something I resemble that fowle adulterer Proudly I doe walke in my thoughts as it were upon the roofe of the King's house My conscience my soule is my Bathsheba fowle and polluted but I wash it with my teares yet Lord how apt am I to tempt her to uncleanesse worse then shee hath formerly beene defiled with I am that very David 1. Sam. 19.11 my sinne is Saul that watcheth to slay mee but ô let my Michal my soule tell mee that if I save not my life to night to morrow yea this night before to morrow I shall be I may be slaine To night let mee therfore drowne all my Sauls all mine iniquities in my teares lest Iob 17.13 before the morning the grave be mine house and I make my bed in the darknesse Mee think's this very evening putts mee in mind of my mortality for the Psalmist tell 's mee Ps 104.23 that man goeth forth unto his worke and to his labour untill the evening and in that evening may be as well the cloasing of eyes for an eternall as a temporarie-sleepe When I looke out at my window Lord how pale the Moone appeares at the sight of a sinner O how the starres doe seeme to winke and as it were to shut their eyes when I gaze upon them as if it made their brighter eyes even ready to water to behould the dry ones of so remorselesse an offender By the cleerenesse of their sparkling fires they seeme to looke thorow mee and by their wonderfull numbers in a silent arithmetick they tell mee of mine infinite innumerable offences When thus with bashfullnesse I am enforced to shut my casement againe and looke back in my chamber mee think's this very candle tell 's mee the vanitie of my sinfull condition Even like unto this are all my best and most glorious actions they are composed of nothing but tallow filth and though they make a goodly and resplendent shew to the world yet doe they stinke in the nosetrills of the great Creatour This burnes and I consume and wast away This I may suffer to burne untill all the matter be consumed and spent â—r else I may extinguish and put it out at â—…y pleasure Iust so may my God deale â—…kewise with mee Hee may spare mee upon â—arth Ps 32.4 untill my moisture be like to the â—routh in summer or hee may putt mee out â—resently this night at the very instant when 〈◊〉 extinguish this enlightening flame That which nourisheth this light is apt
greater them all these the feare of displeasing my gratious protectour bring mee back againe and keepe mee at home I would not be un-charitable but I must not be desperate Well then I am resolved what I will doe I will with Solomon goe to the houses of mourning the houses of the visited yet not in body but in mind and in purse I will pittie them and I will send reliefe unto them I dare not goe in person but I will goe in affection and for my neighbours groaning under the evill of punishment and for my selfe burdened with the evill of sinne I will feede upon my teares day and night I must grieve for my selfe in particular and yet I must not be so unkindly coveteous as to keepe my teares onely for my selfe In publike calamities those who shed noe teares may be justly suspected to have noe bowells I find my selfe not un-apt to weepe for I am prompted to that by the weakenesse of my disposition And yet I suspect my selfe I am jealous of my selfe that my teares doe rather flow from my feare of infection then from a fellow-feeling of the miseries which the infected suffer To heighten therfore my mourning and to justifie it by my compassion I will propose to my selfe the examples of others such as I find recorded in the word of my God example 1 When the destruction of the Iewes was neere at hand the Lord called upon them by the mouth of his Prophet saying Consider yee Ier 9.17 and call for the mourning women that they may come and send for cunning women that they may come And let them make hast vers 18 and take up a wayling for us that our eyes may runne downe with teares and our eye-lids gush out with waters vers 19 for a voyce of wayling is heard out of Zion How are wee spoyled c. The women were commanded to heare the word of the Lord vers 20 and their eares to receave the word of his mouth they were to teach their daughters wayling and every one her neighbour lamentation vers 21 For death was come up into their windowes and entered into their pallaces to cutt off the children from without and the young men from their streetes vers 22 Even the carkeises of men did fall as dung upon the field and as the handfull after the harvest-man and none did gather them The case is now with us as it was then with the Iewes Alasse how are wee spoyled too How is death come up into our windowes by the infectious aire How doe our children dye and our young men fall Our children which know not the cause and our young men that trusted in the strength of their youth O how doe the carkeises of men fall as dung upon the open field as the hand-full after the harvest man and yet there are none to gather them up They perish without because either there is not roome enough left with in doores for them or not people alive to attend them in their sicknesse or not people of strength enough to un-lock the doores or not meanes for their sustenance if they enter in Thus necessitie driveth them into the fields and there mortalitie seizeth upon them where noe person is found to burie their bodies noe bearers to carie them to the surfeited earth noe friends to bewayle the losse of their lives and noe Christians to cover them from their gazing spectatours the verie fowles of the aire and the beastes of the field What heart would not breake what eye would not weepe what soule would not lament for this sad visitation Lam 1.16 For these things with Ieremiah will I weepe mine eye mine eye shall runne downe with water because the comforter which should relieve our soules is farre from us example 2 The Lord hath throwne downe Ierusalem saith the Prophet and hath not pittied Lam 2.17 and hee hath caused their enemie to rejoyce over them hee hath sett up the horne of their adversarie vers 18 Their heart cryed unto the Lord O wall of the daughter of Zion let teares runne downe like a river day and night give thy selfe noe rest let not the apples of thine eyes cease Arise vers 19 cry out in the night in the beginning of the watches powre out thine heart like water before the face of the Lord lift up thy hands towards him for the life of thy young children that faint in the topp of every streate vers 1. Even thus hath the Lord covered us allso with a clowde in his anger as then hee did the daughter of Zion and cast downe from heaven unto the earth the beautie of our Israël and remembred not his foote stoole in the day of his anger An enemie destroyeth and rejoyceth over us but such an enemie it is as neither can heare nor will spare The verie aire which was created to coole the flames of our scorching hearts is so poisoned with the infection that the more wee make of it the lesse wee our selves are made by it the closer wee seate it even to and in our hearts the neerer doth the infection approach our spirits The corrupted aire shall be therfore cleansed by the thick groanes that shall flye from my heavy heart and be purified with the thunder of my lowdest cryes With Moab in the prophesie Is 15.2 vers 3. I will howle over Nebo and over Medeba In the streetes let every one gird himselfe with sack-cloth on all their heads let there be baldnesse on the toppes of our houses and in our streetes let every one howle â—er 48.4 weeping aboundantly for wee are destroyed for our litle ones have caused a cry to be heard Oh our sucklings that cry for milke from the breast suck in destruction when they expect their nourishment For these things with Ierusalem I will weepe sore in the night in this night of a generall affliction Lam 1.2 my teares shall be on my cheekes because among all our lovers there is none to comfort us example 3 At the finall desolation of the house of Israël Eze 7.16 the Prophet tould them that They that fled away of them should escape and should be on the mountaines like Doves of the valleys all of them mourning every one for his iniquitie All hands should be feeble vers 17 and all knees should be weake as water vers 18 They should allso gird themselves with sack-cloth and horrour should cover them and shame should be upon all their faces and baldnesse upon their heads Lord what a time of mourning should here be What a time of horrour Destruction is threatned and whom destruction missed mourning should over-take feeblenesse should follow weakenesse should pursue horrour should cover Oh that verie time is come now upon us that prophesie is fullfilled in our Israel Here is noe sword to slay us noe fierie engines of a hellish invention to murder us noe men to take us captives
the people of this land I will not arise from my heavinesse vers 5. Ioël 2.13 But I will rent my garment or rather my heart and not my garment and turne unto the Lord my God for hee is gracious and mercifull slow to anger and of great kindnesse and repenteth him of the evill I will fall upon my knees Ezr. 9.5 and spread out my hands unto the Lord my God example 4 Zion was threatned that her gates should lament and mourne and that she being desolate Is 3.26 should sit on the ground Here was the punishment a grievous punishment desolation by warre destruction by the sword vers 25 Her men should fall by the sword and her mighty men in the warre But what was the cause What stirred up the All-mighty to shewer downe his vengeance Alas it is too easily found The pride of the woman was the destruction of the men vers 16 It was because the daughters of Zion were haughty and walked with stretched-out necks and wanton eyes walking and mincing as they went and making a tinkling with their feete Wee are punished wee are afflicted not by the sword but which is more dreadfull by the Pestilence Our sufferances are not in the same manner indeede as were theirs and yet wee deserve both the manner and the measure Our sinnes are alike our punishments must therfore be expected alike alike in the greatnesse though they are not in the kind They seeme mee think's allready to agree in part for besides our sicknesses Mat 24 6. wee heare of warres and rumours of wars Yea they come yet neerer alike Is 3.17 for they were threatned that the Lord should smite them with a scab on the crowne of the head of the daughters of Zion and this very judgment appeareth among us in every blaine in every botch in every carbuncle Surely our sinnes are as greate or greater then theirs The pride of our sexe in their dresses in their laces in their jewells in their fashions in their gaites in their behaviours in their attendants in every thing is greater then Zion's The effects of pride their lascivious embracings their amorous â—urtings are commoner are frequenter then Zion's vers 18 Lord is it not just with thee then to take away from us as thou didest â—…om Zion the braverie of our tinkling â—naments and our tyres and our chaines vers 19 vers 21 vers 22 vers 23 and our bracelets and our rings and our changeable suits of apparell and our manâ—les and our glasses and our fine linnen and our hoods and our vailes Wee may most justly indeede expect a stinke vers 24 insteed of a sweete smell and instead of a girdle a â—ent and instead of well-set haire baldâ—esse and instead of a stomacher a girdle of sack-cloth and burning instead of beauty For us the land mourneth for our pride he people are humbled for our sinnes the Pestilence reigneth Lord make us all with Zion lament and mourne make us fit on the ground acknowledging thy justice and our sinfullnesse Eze. 31 15. God hath come downe to the grave among us as hee did at the destruction of Assyria for the pride thereof and caused Libanon to mourne for us and the trees of the field to faint for us therfore with Zion I will lament I will mourne I will sit on the ground example 5 A voyce was once heard from the high places of Israël Ier 3.21 weeping and supplications of the people because they had perverted their way they had forgotten the Lord their God Here was sorrow at the heart for the sinne of the soule and yet noe destruction of the body threatned for disobedience Had they continued in this their repentance they might have prevented the ensueing judgments but intermission of sorrow proved to be the ground of their sorrow Hence came theâ— land to be cursed with barrennesse and the Prophet to cry out c 12.4 How long shall the land mourne and the herbes of every field wither for the wickednesse of them that dwell thereinâ— Here wickednesse was the cause and barrennessâ— the effect But why should the herbes and flowers of the field suffer for the sinnes of the people Alas they grew up towards heaven in their gratefull acknowledgment that from thence they receaved their nourishment in the earth Yea so innocent they were that when they looked about them and saw as it were the wickednesse of them for whose service they were made every morning hung pearlie teares upon their drooping eyes and when they saw that men had not halfe so much remorse as they themselves they sadly shrunke to bed againe in the earth It was a curse to them to be enslaved in the service of cursed sinnes so poisonous is transgression so mischievous is iniquitie Thus the herbes were cursed for the sinnes of the Iewes but what had the Iewes done amisse which wee have not exceeded What wickednesse had they committed which wee have not surpassed Therfore our herbes and our flowers the beauty of our gardens and the pride of our knotts is nipped is withered with the poisonous breath that ariseth from our infected bodies and yet wee feare that what wee dispatched the aire to kill in our gardens will bring poison to us and slay us in our houses Thus wee suffer for thus have wee finned I will therfore resolve with the Prophet David Ps 119 136. that Rivers of waters shall runne downe mine eyes because wee have not kept the â—aw of our God example 6 Shall not the land tremble for this Amos. 8.8 and every â—…e mourne that dwelleth therein Saith the Prophet Amos. Tremble For what Israël knew well enough the poore were sensible enough vers 6. even the poore that were bought for silver and the needy that were sould for a paire of shooes Here was oppression in the streetes and crying in the gates vers 5. for the Ephah was made small and the Shekel greate and the ballances were falsified by deceit Noe marveile that the Psalmist concludeth Ps 62.9 Surely men of low degree are vanitie and men of high degree are a lye to be layed in the ballance they are alltogether lighter then vanitie It was thus among the Israelites and thus it is among us allso Men of low degree are vanitie vanitie in the account and contempt of superiours vanitie in the cruelty of superiours Men of high degree the richest traders the merchants of corne and the other fruits of the earth are a lye their measures are false theâ— weights are false yea they buy by one and they sell by another They devoure their brethren and yet they doe it by aâ— shew of Iustice for the ballances they haw corrupted and the weights they have pared insomuch as men erre most they are most deceaved when they thinke themselves most righted best dealt with This injustie commandeth us justly to mourne so the belly cryeth and the back cryeth The
but was churlishly denyed them vers 22 yet afterwards hee was caried by the Angells into Abraham's bosome I will consider with my selfe that my gould and silver are nothing but earth my jewells but stones mine apparell but the labour and issue of a worme mine honour respect but either the steame of an unsavourie breath or the wrying and deforming of a Christians body and yet this aëry applause these congees and salutes are grounded onely on this earth stones Were vertue onely the ground of honour my credit might be sullied with this dirt and trash for the more I possesse of this earthie masse the heavier and duller I grow to acts of goodnesse Gold is accounted the most compacted mettall to heighten the vallew of it they boyle it in broths as a cordiall for the infirme Peradventure the All-mighty hath given it vertue to comfort the heart but then it must be used not locked up Yet the Physitian 's prescription may be grounded on avarice and it may be a pollicie of Satan to Increase our idolatrie Thus doeth every one make it his businesse to court this Idoll whereof I am mistresse But am I sure that I am mistresse of this admired mettall Am I not rather a servant and slave to it If it ever hath power to tempt mee to sinne I have lost my soveraignty to which I pretend This mettall is close and compact more heavy ponderous then any of the rest O is it not a description of my remorselesse heart Is not that as close compact as unwilling to yeeld to the stroke of the hammer to the cryes and the teares of the poore and the miserable If thus I find my heart in the gold my next care shall be to make it as heavy I will grieve and lament for the hardnesse of my heart and since 't is so drossie as to covet the gould I will earnestly besiech my God to refine it I will humbly request him to put it to the test to put it into a crucible and then so to draw it downe in the fire of affliction that it may runne pure and cleane and be apt to yeeld and commiserate the cause of the helplesse Betweene the steele and the load-stone the sympathie is so prevalent that they wooe each other even at a distance O that my God would infuse into my heart so much of his grace that the stone therein might be like the load-stone drawing the poore and the miserable to my doores who with indigencie and want are hammered and beaten and fired like the steele The red and fiery eyes are cured by the often touch of the gold Whose eyes are more inflamed then those of the poore whose every morsell is the price of a teare Who is more able to cure those maladies then wee to whom God hath sent in aboundance For them then I will call I will sieke I will send and the rednesse of their eyes shall be cured with my yellow resplendent gould Those that stedfastly looke on waterish eyes are subject to contract the same infirmitie Mine are cleere and free from the maladie but 't is onely because I looke not on them who are troubled with that weakenesse But I will labour hereafter to looke upon the poore whose eyes are swelled with petitionarie teares and so stedfastly-will I fasten mine eye of compassion upon their miseries that I will both lament their sufferances and releive their wants The purest gold is ever most plyable and apt to bend which way wee please Thus shall mine be ready to bow and bend and yeeld to the necessities of my brethren Thus shall my heart be noe longer the possessour of my revennues but the cabinet of charitie and tender compassion But when I divert â—…ine eyes from the treasures of my coffers â—nd fasten them on the glittering rayes of my â—…abinet Iewells ô then my heart which was open beginn's to close againe mee thinks I repent my promise of distributing my massie summs since they have power to purchase such dazeling jemms Fond woman where is thy religion Vaine woman why art thou so unconstant These sparkling diamonds are but the offalls of a rock and by the hand of the artist composed into a forme which may fitly tell mee the folly of my pride Suppose that this or this stone by nature was placed on the top of the rock yet when it fell to the ground 't was taken up for an idoll What stone can be harder then is this Adamant Yet I find that flesh may be harder then this My heart is a rock yet 't is not a Diamond for 't is farre inferiour in the vallew and price But admitt howsoever that 't were a Diamond then I might hope that nature or art would force some pieces or sparkes from the rock O but I find it will not easily yeeld to part with any but when the hammer doeth come with violence upon it it forceth it back againe with scorne and contempt when the grace of my God doeth offer to touch it 't is repelled by the hardnesse and obduracie there of What shall I doe to force it to yeeld Nothing but a Diamond cut 's a Diamond This very Diamond then which I hould in my hand shall cutt mee to the heart for the wickednesse thereof Or if that will not doe if it will not yeeld without the concurrence of blood I will besiech my Redeemer for a drop of his blood by vertue whereof my heart may relent Here 's a Pearle too whose orient lustre hath so delighted my heart that mee thinks in a manner I weare it in mine eye It was the purchase of my coyne but from whence at first was it derived to my possession Nature intending to preserve it from violence clasped it up in the shell of a fish and then sunke it to the bottone of the troubled ocean But coveteous man enuying the treasures which were hidden in the seas ransacked the bottome to find out this jemme Now it is mine it add's to my treasure and borroweth the eyes of the gazing spectatours making them wonder and cover this which I possesse But was it onely sent for the satisfaction of the eye Let mee a litle more carefully looke upon it and trie if it offers not something of piety to a religious soule In the colour thereof I discover heaven In the Easterne parts from whence are brought the crient pearles Mat. 2.1.2 I am put in mind of the starre which appeared in the East to the wise men and conducted them to the sight of Christ whom they worshipped This cerulian jewell so fitly imitating the colour of the heavens whispers into mee the earnest desire which I ought to have of that which it resembles Shall the colour of the heavens be kept close in my cabinet and vallewed chiefly for it's orient lustre and shall not the desire of heaven be stirred up in my heart and an eamest longing to reigne there eternally This
and my petitions to God must be likewise upon conditions when I begge of him but temporall blessings His blessings descend not unlesse they be called downe by my religious obedience nor may I pray for the blessings which concerne this life but with this condition If they may stand with his pleasure In his power it is to graunt the suite which so earnestly I make I wish it may be his pleasure to fullfill my desires Barren Sarai was promised a sonne and Isaak was borne Gen. 21 2.3 Lu 1.7 vers 57 Gen. 29 31. c 30.22 vers 23 Though Zacharias and Elizabeth were stricken in yeeres and Elizabeth was barren yet they were blessed with Iohn the Baptist. Though Leah was hated by reason of her barrennesse yet wee reade that the Lord did open her wombe God remembred Rachel and hearkened unto her and opened her wombe and shee conceaved and bare a sonne and sayd God hath taken away my reproach The wife of Manoah the Danite was barren Iud. 13.2 vers 3. vers 14 yet the Angel of the Lord appeared unto her and sayd unto her Behold now thou art barren and bearest not but thou shalt conceave and beare a sonne And the woman bare a sonne called his name Samson and the child grew and the Lord blessed him 1. Sam. 1.10 Barren Hannah was in bitternesse of soule for want of a child when Peninnah her fruitfull rivall provoked her sore to make her fret vers 6. vers 20 because the Lord had shut up her wombe and shee had a sonne whom shee named Samuel Thus may God if hee please looke upon my reproach and send mee a child which I may dedicate to his service I will therfore follow the stepps of Hannah the devout vers 15 I will weepe with her and I will fast with her and with her will I powre out my soule before the Lord. Who knoweth but my teares may prevayle through the merits of my Redeemer and my sobbs and sighes may draw downe a blessing Ps 30.8 On my knees therfore will I goe unto the Lord and gett mee unto my Lord right humbly I will weepe and pray and mourne and pray and sigh and pray and praying I will say The Prayer HEeavenly King father of mercies Ps 72.5 thou who tookest mee out of my mother's wombe but hast denyed unto mee the fruit of mine vouchsafe to looke upon the reproach of thy servant I know that my sinnes doe stoppe the current of thy mercies but it is thine honour that thou art a forgiver of offences Forgive my sinnes the cause of thy curse and heale the barrennesse of thy despised hand-mayd 1. Sam. 1.11 O Lord of hosts if thou wilt indeede looke upon the affliction of thine hand-mayd and remember mee and not forget thine hand-mayd but wilt give unto thine hand-mayd a man-child then I will give him unto thee all the dayes of his life Thou knowest that I am a woman of a sorrowfull spirit and out of the aboundance of my complaint vers 16 and griefe doe I pray unto thee Send mee I beseech thee a Samuël even such a child as I have asked of thee if it may stand with the pleasure of thee my Lord and King that may bring honour unto thee and comfort unto thy petitioner I shall never bee satisfied untill thou hearest my supplications Pro. 30 15. Either graunt my desires or arme mee with patience that in all things I may serve thee with quietnesse Mat 4.28 and content The earth thou hast made to bring forth fruit of her selfe and it is as easie for thee to blesse mee with increase But if thou hast otherwise determined in thy secret will howsoever graunt that I may never conceave wickednesse in my heart Act 5.4 to whom thou denyest the conception of a child Iam. 1.15 Let not lust conceave in mee lest it bring forth sinne and sinne when it is finished bring forth death Say unto my heart as effectually as once thou didst unto the fig-tree Mat 21 19. Gal 5.22 vers 23 Heb. 12 11. let noe such fruit grow on thee hence forth for ever but let mee allways produce the fruits of the spirit against which thine Apostle assureth mee that there is noe law Let this thy chastening yeeld unto mee the peaceable fruit of righteousnesse since I am exercised therein so shall I willingly submit to thy pleasure and beseech thee to graunt mee comfort and joy in that blessed sonne of a happie woman even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen THE TWELFTH SUBjECT Teares of a child-bearing woman 1 At the time when she beginneth to fall in travell 2 After her deliverie I st Her teares when she beginneth to fall in travell The Soliloquie consisting of three parts viz 1 The cause of the sorrow and the confidence of the sorrowing 2 The greatenesse of the pangs hazards and feares of a travelling woman 3 Consolation and comfort for a woman in the bitternesse of her travell The first part of the Soliloquie treating of the cause of the sorrow and the confidence of the sorrowing THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my King and my God for unto the will I pray VVHen David confessed his actuall crimes hee forgot not the guilt of originall corruption therfore he professed saying Behold I was shapen in iniquitie vers 5. and in sinne did my mother conceave mee By the corruption of nature even Saint Paul himselfe was not without sinne that dwelled in him That which is borne of the flesh is flesh Rom 7 17. Io. 3.6 as my Saviour himselfe did tell Nicoden us and this flesh concludeth us all to be carnall Rom 7 14. and sold under sinne This originall stayne is the ground of all our actuall impieties justly therfore is the birth of a child accompanied with the torments and sorrowes of the mother left women should forget the tast of the apple I will greatly multiply thy sorrow Gen 3.16 and thy conception sayd the Lord unto Eve in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children O this heavie chastisement doth now approach to make mee sensible of my sinfull beginning As I caused the teares to flow from the eyes of my groaning mother so now even in mine eyes doe they likewise arise through the pangs which doe seize on mee by reason of my babe Lord what a trembling possesseth every joynt of mee and when I hope for ease by changing my seate or lying on my Couch or attempting to walke even in every place doeth the sharpnesse of the paine increase its strength and though I multiply my cryes yet mine anguish ceaseth not O what miserable perplexities are wee weake and sinfull women involved in Wee who can worst endure are most afflicted and allthough our tempers and constitutions conclude us weaker by farre then our husbands
it doe tingle yea and mee think's not onely mine eares tingle but even my heart allso tingleth and trembleth at the same Well though that stone be there yet the inscision shall be made and howsoever I will desire that a paine I may endure If yet I am not sensible enough when the inscision is made I hope I shall have time enough to smart before the eskar be off Lord I desire that I may be sensible of the wounds of this land and that the blood which is shed in these violent times may be washed away by the teares of mee and other penitent sinners Or if blood requireth blood Lord let the wine and oyle of the best Samaritane let the blood of my mercifull Redeemer prevaile for pardon for the blood which is shed in these un-naturall warrs and let it stoppe the fountaine the current the issue thereof If my poore countrie was formerly troubled with a plurisie I am sure that now it useth the harsh meanes of phlebotomie for it is let blood in every part in the head the armes the leggs the feete yea and even in the very heart And yet for all this are there not some among us upon whose hearts the stupifying infernall stone is layd who are like unto Moab Ier. 48.11 who have beene at case from their youth and have setled upon their lees and have not beene emptyed from vessell to vessell nor have gone into captivitie and therfore their tast remaineth in them neither is their sent changed Are there not those among us that put farre away the evill day Amos. 6.3 vers 4. and cause the seate of violence to come neere That lie upon beds of ivory and stretch themselves upon their couches and eate the lambs out of the flock the calves out of the midst of the stall vers 5. That chaunt to the sound of the violl and invent to themselves instruments of musick vers 6. That drinke wine in bowles and annoint themselves with the chiese ointments but are not grieved for the afflictions of Ioseph Ierusalem was then surest of her destruction when she laughed and rejoyced in her surfeits and riotts my compassionate Iesus at the same time foreseeing her ruine mourned and wept over her Oh Luc. 19 41. mee thinks when I lay my hand upon my heart when I touch my heart I find it a stringed instrument and when I stoppe upon the fretts the lesson that it playeth is nothing but Lachrymae Yet I feare I weepe not so much as I should and I feare too that every one doth not weepe so much as I doe I feare there are still those among us Isa 49.26 who dilight to be fed with their owne flesh and to be drunke with their owne blood as with sweete wine What shall I say of such or how shall I pleade for them Have these workers of wickednesse noe knowledg Ps 14.4 who eate up the people as they eate bread and call not upon the Lord 2. Sam. 2.26 Lord shall their sword devoure for ever Know wee not that it will be bitternesse in the latter end How long shall it be then ere the people be bid returne from following their brethren The Lord hath said by the mouth of his servant David that he will abhorre the bloody Ps 5.6 Ps 55.23 and deceitfull man yea he saith that bloody and deceitfull men shall not live out halfe their dayes Ps 68.30 Ps 51.14 Ps 46.9 and that hee will skatter the people that delight in warre Deliver 〈◊〉 from blood-guilinesse ô God thou God of 〈◊〉 salvation O that my God would make these warrs to cease O that he would breake the bowes and cut the speares in sunder and burâ—… the chariots in the fire This I am sure heâ— and hee alone can doe Hee and hee onely is our refuge and strength vers 1. and a very present heâ—e in trouble This therfore that hee may doe I will imitate the Prophet Daniel and I will speake Dan. 9.20 and pray and confesse mine owne sinnt and the sinns of this people and present my supplication before the Lord my God and thus I will say The First Prayer wherein is set downe 1 Gods Iustice in punishing his owne people in former times 2 His Iustice allso in the present punishing us for our offences 3 An earnest supplication for our repentance and his forgivenesse O Righteous father thou who art righteous in all thy wayes Ps 145.17 and holy in all thy workes I thine unworthy creature in the very griefe of my heart and with a sad and bleeding soule cannot choose but sit downe and weepe Ps 13â— 1. vers 8. in the consideration of our poore Sion wasted with miseries Yet great and grievous though our afflictions are and the increase and growth which they may yet arise higher unto is all-together as unknowne to us as when the period and end of them shall be howsoever I must confesse thee to be a righteous God strong and patient And seeing all things are naked and open unto thee with whom wee have to doe I cannot choose but acknowledg here upon my bended knees before thine all-seeing majesty that the sinns oh the grievous the scandalous the out-ragious sinns of this nation have cryed for this vengeance Ps 51.4 that thou mayst be justifyed when thou speakest and be cleere now thou judgest I confesse ô Lord out of a sense of mine owne transgressions and consideration of the crimes of this people Is 59.12 that our transgressions are multiplyed before thee and our sinns testifie against us for our transgressions are with us and as for our iniquities I desire of thee Lord that wee may know them When thine owne deare people of Israel would not be reformed by terrour Lev. 26 16. vers 17 and consumption and the burning ague by their enemies eating that which they had sowed and reigning over them by their fleeing when none did pursue them by making their heaven iron their earth as brasse vers 18 by suffering them to spend their strength in vaine vers 19 and causing their land not to yeeld her increase nâ— the trees their fruite vers 22 by the wild beasts robbing them of their children by destroying their cattell and making them few in number and their high wayes desolate then didst thou threaten them vers 23 saying If yee will yet walke contrarie to mee then will I walke contrarie to you vers 24 vers 25 and will punish you yet seaven times for your sinns I will bring a sword upon you that shall avenge the quarrell of my covenant when yee are gathered together within your citties I will send the Pestilence among you Deut. 28.15 yee shall be delivered into the hand of the enemie Againe thou didst allso threaten them saying If thou wilt not hearken to the voyce of the Lord thy God to observe to doe all his