againe the old deceiver and adversary of the soules blessednes at diverse times and on diverse occations threw some thing or other into his way that thereby he might stumble and fall or be discouraged and offended so that he might grow weary and not hold out but faint and go backward and not forward and to seeke for releife amongst his old lovers and acquaintance or might dig to himself a cistern for water which could hold none or take some other way or meanes for his deliverance and here with the man was so besett by the adversarie to divert his course and to draw him back againe to perdition and from following on to the salvation of his soule as is beyond utterance And can not be declared or beleeved as experience and the same state condition worketh the understanding of it And in that day when man if so surrounded by the devoureing enemy as it is said of him he goes about like a roaring Lyon compassing the earth to and fro seeking whom he may devoure he must make God alone his trust and hope and deliverer eying him in stedfastnes of heart and minde and not the adversary whose labour it is to draw the minde away after him and his feare or elce out there he can never come to know the deliverance and salvation which Jesus Christ is to all those that abides with him in the faith and hope of Gods elect but must be preyed upon and led into destruction for ever Now as this deceiver thus lay in waite and wrought to ensnare and beguile the man so all so the compassionate one ceased not to visit and secretly convey his help unto him and often it would be in his remembrance that he that putteth his hand to the plow and then loock back is not meet for the kingdom of heaven which he had so earnestly desired to enjoy neither was he that sowed sparingly to expect plentifully to reap but if he did so hope to do he would deceive him self and be as those that feed on ashes for in stead of haveing a harvest of well fild sheaves with hanging eares of corn he would at last reape the wind and be disapointed as those who began in the spirit and would be made perfect by the flesh or sought so to be So that now he began to learn to give up to the fire which burned and to the hammer which brake him downe in as much as might be quieting him self and submitting as that which was most proper for him in this his great suffering state and entertaind a feare in his heart least that he should offend the Lord againe by turning from his Judgments which were executing in him and from the terror and righteousnes thereof and therefore againe cryed out unto the Lord and sayd O Lord I praye thee since I have prayed to see thy day and its glory and that thou hast in thy great loveing kindnes brought me into the glorious dawnings and breakings forth thereof let not thy way be too narrow or streight for me let me not turn a side to the flocks of thy companions but as they went downe by the steps of the flock to the washing and returned by the tents of the sheepheards upon the bancks of salvation so I also into the holy habitation of thy heavenly rest may be brought by thine owne right arme in the way through it of condemnation at last to sit downe in the ministration of life to behold thy face in thy exceeding glory in joy and peace and teach me to apply my heart to wisdom which is hid from all the wise of this world for thou knowest that it is wisdom alone of thee which I crave to direct my feet a right in thy sight And that was the thing which he wanted alone desired of the Lord and thought with him self that he matterd not what he parted with or how or what he was in the account or eyes of the world so that he might finde rest And thus haveing made some progres in the blessed race of eternall life haveing in him a Judgment and understanding according to that experience of the effectuall working of the grace of God in him he adviseth all who is in any measure awakened into the sence of their want of the knowledge of God and of his great love in Jesus Christ and of their owne wofull and miserable estate thereby that they abide in submission unto the Lord therin and not seek to them selves wayes and meanes thereby to work their owne deliverance but in longings and groanings in their Spirits travell after the desire of their soules that so the Lord in his owne blessed way and time may open a door of understanding in their hearts for their acces unto him and strive not by unlawfull wayes and courses after redemption or an admission into the holy Kingdome whereinto nothing that defiles or is managed by mans skill or hand may come for many have striven and not enterd and asked and have not received because they have asked amiss and not striven lawfully Therefore feel the Lords heavenly arm and power to arise and worke deliverance and propound not to thy self an easy way of accessing to the flesh into the holy habitation of his eternall life for it must be by the sword the Judgment determined must be fullfilled and the fullfilling must be according to the counsel and righteouss will of the Lord to whom who may say what doest thou And abide his pleasure and let his Kingdom come into thy heart as he pleaseth if it be by a thundering power from heaven to cleave the rocks assunder and rending the vayle thereby of from thy hard heart with astonishments amazements and confoundings to thy vaine confidence and expectation Be still be still before the Lord and before the glorious ariseings of his holy power that he may work his work in the earth that will praise him and deliver thy soule hereby alone shalt thou know and come to witnes the Lords ransome for it is his and not thine and inherit that which thy soule languish in want off And those who are come to the redeeming power of the Lord and to the knowing of redemption in any measure and the feeling the judgment thereof for so it must be Zion is redeemed by judgment lye downe lye downe and flee not for thy life for if thou dost thou wilt loose it and in that day seek not to escape but let this be the travell of thy soule in bowednes of Spirit to submit unto him that thou mayst feel that mind and to be of it which can say true and righteous are thy judgments o Lord for thou judgest for the poor and needy of the earth Thus shalt thou know the effect of righteousnes peace and assurance for ever and the oyle of gladnes making thy face to shine with the innocent life and spirit of the Lamb and by no other meanes no other way These things are
of ten troubled and in my trouble feare exceedingly and in my feare to have torment O! said his beloved neighbour for he whose voice made this inquiring in him he looked upon him as his enemy and had not a thought that he that wounded did it that he might heal Come come see thy neighbours and acquaintance they are merry men and they refresh them selves thou see and be jocund together come drinck of there cup and eate of their dish that a melancholy spirit may not come over thee and thou go drooping up downe untill thou makes thy self ridiculous unto them and rob thy self of the comfort of thy life what wouldst thou have behold thy possessions may thou not compare with them what wantest thou or what wouldest thou have The man was afraid and knew not well what was the matter with him but as it afterwards appeared the conscience of him stirred in him and there by his peace was broken which he had in the freindship of this world which is enmitie against God he could not swallow his sweet bits as formerly but was therein persued to his astonishment and his pleasures become burthensome unto him then he said he knew not how to live there and therefore would go to his neighbours habitations take of theire mirth and pleasure and refresh himself in their company and castforth thereby the trouble that was in his mind for there the mans greiffe and trouble was so he went and took of of their cup that thereby he might wash down his sorrow as he hoped and other essayes he made which are abounding in the world to divert him from his trouble and endeavourd to talk at any rate that he might be deliverd and be quiet By this time the man might have perceived that when God visit man for his iniquity he makes his beauty to consume as a moth for his face begon to gather paleness and his endeavours proved vaine for he could not get rid of this searching inquiring voice which had visited him it would be sounding in his eares and persuing him and often in the midst of his laughter sorrow would arise and fill his heart so that sometimes he was ready to throw of all his companions and to bid adieu to his idle pleasures and passtimes and then would hang down his head And heaviness of spirit like a tallent of lead ready to sinck him would come over him as if he should have ben swallowed up thereby but still he knew not the hand that persued him neither did he care for acquainting himself with it he looked upon it as his enemy he could not hope for deliverance from that which wounded him for he saw no freindlyness in it and he would have bin at ease and enjoye his frolicks as his neighbours did and not have bin so afflicted as he was but he that smot him still did smit him and his peace which was broaken seemed as if it had bin quite removed from him Now on the other hand he that had enticed him to the drawing his minde out into worldly vanities and the unprofitablenes thereof and thereby drawn him from Remembring his Creator in the dayes of his youth before the evill dayes come where in he could say he had no pleasure he I say continued his insinuations and flatteries seeking by all wayes and meanes of his owne to dawb the man up and that answerable to the desires of his owne heart for when he was wounded and afflicted so that what ever he put his hand unto visitations of sorrow and disquietnes arose in him he said unto him well if sin do ly at thydoor at whose door doth it not have not all sined and all faln short why canst thou not be content quiet thy self The Prophets they prophesied of a saviour to come and thou have read that he came beleeve thou that they are the elect that beleeve in him beleeve thy self to be one of them and apply the promises and it wil be well with thee all must carry about them so long as they are in this world a body of sin thou knows thou will be rid of that when thou comes to dy and rid of all these legall feares and frights of minde which now thou give way unto and readily receive into thy minde and from whence things proceeds and lyes in thy way for which there is no cause or reason to greive and offend thee do thou beleeve the promises they are many and large and that Christ dyed for thee then all will be well do thou see thy neighbours thy acquaintance thy freinds they do not acquaint them selves with such petyfull feares as thou entertaines nor with such needless distracting doubts and questionings and it concerns them as well as thou to see that they lay hold of their saviour and his merits although they perplex not themselves to their owne wounding and make their lives uncomfortable as thou do Thus strove the adversarie to hold the man in the deceivablenes of his owne unrighteousnes that so he might have withstood the visitations of the Lord untill there had ben noe remedy who had visited him by his gentile reproofs that his heart might bow before him and in the sence of his evill have humbled his soule before his holy throne in great contrition of Spirit but notwithstanding the favour of the Lord thus appearing for him he submitted not unto him but sought out to him self many inventions thereby to have been delivered And so the man he would go read the scriptures as he saw others did for he began to think of Religion and see to get some good promises into his minde to comfort and satisfy him felf with all and thought that if he could make out him self to be one of Gods elect one in whom his soule delighted and one whom the Lord took care of and did sustaine by watching over him and leading him by his eye in the wey of the blessing and sure mercies of the Lord that then he might sometimes enjoy him self with his freinds and neighbours after which there was a secret working in his minde which he could not then part with all not having learnd the dayly cross and might pertake of their cups and neighbourly freindships for the man did take notice that some of them would sometimes be talking of Religion of Christs ordinances and Christian duties and such good things and the other which they absented not them selves from he thought would be good fellowship good neighbourhood and the maintaining good society with them and many he saw esteemed them so to be and then he should not be judged by them as a man singuler or of a morose temper and frowardly inclined so tumbled over the scriptures forward and backward like those who searched the Scriptures as since he understood but would not come to Jesus that they might have life to see for some comfortable places to stay himself upon or thereby to releive him self upon so great an
A RELATION OF A MANS RETURN and His Travaills out of a long and sore CAPTIVITIE To partake of that REST which Remaineth to the PEOPLE of GOD. Written For the sake of those who wants the Consolation of Israel and would walke in the HEAVENLY WAY thereof if they knew it Jer. 4 1. If thou wilt return saith the Lord return unto me Ibid. 17 10. I the Lord search the heart Written by one of Zyons Travellors Th. Bayles Freindly Reader IT is the manner of Mariners sayling in unknowne places and discovering dangerous Rocks sands or shoules and being delivered from the danger thereof To procure buys or beacons to be placed upon them as warnings and markes to them who afterwards shall have occasion to sayle that way that they may also escape the dangers thereof And this is but to preserve the outward life with ship and goods which are all at best but temporall how much more is it needfull for those who have travayled the way of Regeneration and have discovered the many dangers that are in that way to give notice thereof to those that are willing to travayle in that way that soe they may escape the shipwrack of their immortal Soules And indeed many are the perills hazards and dangers that such meet withall somtimes in danger of being deceived and beguiled somtimes of being affrighted and dismayed and soe disheartned and turned back againe when they have made some progresse and at other times of being made over confident and presumptious of their skill and understanding and of being made to think they are at their jorneys end when they have made very small progresse therin All which his Author as an experienced Travellor in Zyons Narrow way hath set forth as he and many more hath found it that soe all that have a mind and earnest desire to travell that way may be assisted with warning and good information at every turning and at last may be content to cease from all falce guides and from ther owne reason and imaginations and from their owne strength and wisdome and may lay hold of that sure giude that God in his infinite love hath appointed to lead all simple and upright soules to rest by And therefore whoever thou art that shall read this Treatise doe it seriously and consideratly and then shalt thou see as in a glasse where thy present state is and if thou find thy selfe on the righthand or on the left to be erred from the certaine way of life wayte thou for the compassionate visitations of thy soules inward freind the faithfull and true witnes of god in thy conscience and he will call thee back into the right way and lead thee in the midst of the paths of Judgments untill at length thou arrives at that haven of rest to thy immortall soule which will answer all thy labour tryalls travells and exercises that thou may meet withall and if this description of the way and the difficultys thereof doe prove any help and benefit to thee then the Author and I have our desire and let god have the glory to whom alone it doth belong he being the Fountaine of good to all that diligently seeke him S. C. THere was a man seated in a goodly place fitted with all things needfull for a happy life he being inconsiderate of his waies and doeings and of the event thereof in the time of his youth frequented the vanities of the world and the idle pleasures of it whilst this man was in the participation of them and runing on therein from one thing to another there was one which beheld his doeings who was greived in him self to see the man soe deceived in great compassion and tendernes ayming at his deliverance waited when he might vissit him and afford his help And so it came to pass that the man being in the coole of the day in some kind of recollection from his labour and the cumber of it in the heart searching word of his owne eternall power and goodness this compassionate one said unto him Where art thou and left him as far as he perceived then to ruminate there on the man knew not who it was that in this inquireing word spake unto him or from whence the voice came being a great stranger and unaquainted therewith although he dwelt neere unto him but such was the secret authority and force thereof that some entrance was made thereby in to his mind so that he was sitting downe to consider of that which had happend unto him and whilst he was getting into the consideration thereof One haveing too much interrest in him and easy access sayd Let not distrustfull thoughts and vexing feare have place within thee for all is well enough if thou look about thee thou shall see that there is no cause for them hereupon the man rowsed him self as if he would have thereby discharged his heart of that sorrow and greife which so lately had assailed him and so said he would not bow under he knew not what or be dismayed thereby and so returned to his beloved enjoyments againe and did rejoyce as if all had been well with him Now this man as one whose heart was whole proceeded on according to the counsell and secret insinuations of his deceiving freinde who by reason of his neere habitation unto him counted him his neighbor and did not perceive the snares which was layd for him and afterwards did appear or that there was any at all so neere and close did his heart comply thereto But his tender and compassionate neighbour saw that his feet went downward to death and steps to take hold on hell he as at the first waited to shew his love unto him and the lifting up the light of his countenance and in his owne time said If thou dost evill sin lieth at the door which visitation came more neere to the man as he thought entring as a shaft into his liver which although he strove much to pull it out yet in no wise could he do it nor get a remedy or releive him felf of the smart thereof but after all his paines and carefull labour to quit him self still the stroak remained as a burthen and incureable and he could see no way for that by all the undertakeings and attempts which he could do and now began the burthen of his thoughts and the perplexitie thereby so that he often feared the displeasure of the Lord would breakforth upon him by reason of them even whilst he was young and tender in yeares and hath at diverse times said in the sence of the evill thereof in the words of the Prophet How long should vaine thoughts lodge with in him as finding them too burthersom and heavy for him to beare and bring into subjection and as that which alone was the work of his sufficient grace although then he knew not that or what it was or where Thus he groaned in him self and said what is the matter with me and why am I so
from the holy visitation of his compassionate freind which had received and beleived as conduceing to his satisfaction so that instead of setling downe in heart and mind into the holy operation of it thereby to feel his deliverance he steales away his heart therefrom and begets him into a boasting and exalting spirit to talk of that his enjoyment and thereby to a loss he came and an abatement of the supply thereby which he had some hopes of whilst it manifested it self unto him and he joyning him self thereto for its assistance and releife And being made destitute thereof by so doing more then a knowledg in his braine and vaine boasting he soon felt the former miserie to revive which made him to groan within him self as one like unto a ship tossed in the troubled sea by the restless waves thereof without a rudder and in danger of perishing every moment This made the man to recollect him self whereby he saw not that subjection feare and humilitie in his heart which he was inclined to by the former visitation nor him self persecuteing that former desire of his of casting himself upon the goodnes and mercie of the Lord that so he might know a settlement in a habitation of quietness and peace And begon to see and understand that there was an adverse part spirit or power in him unto his salvation which did get and steale away his minde from waiting for it And further that there was also a Spirit principle or power in him which wrought in his minde against the former and him for joyning to it which brake his peace and made those woundings in his soule from whence arose all those feares distresses and miseries which he had so long in deepheart sorrow groaned under and from whence sprangfort those hopefull and true refreshing beames of comfort which he had at sometimes had some feeling of and was good cause and incouragement unto him further to waite thereon as on that alone which might worke his deliverance And in the consideration of this he some time was and the Lords secret and still drawings of his minde inward often visited him to draw him to him self from whence he was departed into folly so that the man in tremblingwise or broakeness began to be before the Lord and to encline his heart to him who before now had visited him to his wounding even he who searcheth the heart and tryeth the reines had smitten him that in everlasting kindness he mightly downe and sorrow be removed from him And as the compassionate one unvailed the man and understanding began to reside with him this was unto him as if life had enterd to the raising of him up above his former troubles like unto a woman for joy that a man was born into the world and remembring how he had been deceived for he could not but with greiffe of heart reflect back on that he began to have regard thereto in more bowedness of spirit least that he also should loose the fruition of so great mercie and therefore said Let me know thee O thou searcher of my heart that I may obey thee and deliver me from all my enemies and that was it which he was earnest for and had his eye at and hoped to enjoy but it was in a hasty mind out of true subjection and understanding as those of old time who said Lord wilt thou at this time restore the kingdom to Israel so apt is man to make hast and not to waite resignedly upon the Lord that his will might be don and work effected in the earth And it is to be noted for so it came to pass that as the man sunck downe or bowed before the Lord and breathed for the manifestation and teaching of his holy power and Spirit to effect and work there in his soule according to the good will of his owne tender goodness and compassion that the Lord further enlightned his understanding although contrary to his owne giveing him to see the darkness and confusion in which he was wrapped about as with a mantle and fetterd as with chaines of Iron where at fresh cause of lamentation and mourning arose in him in consideration of that enimitie disobedience and rebellion that he had lived in indayes by past against his maker for of this he was perswaded in his minde who before now thought that although he had not spent his time so citcumspectly or with such holy consideration and sobriety as he should or ought to have don yet far was it from him to think or beleeve that he had so far faln short of his dutie or so far been alienated from his Maker as now he began to be convinced that he had and was And concluded that it had been well for him to have remembred his Creator in the dayes of his youth and not to have spent soe much of his pretiouss time in such idleness vanitie according to the evill course of this world as he had don which if he had not hearkned unto nor inclined his heart to follow after but had sought after the Lord to know him according to his early visiting of him to return unto him to walk before him in his holy feare he had come to know with those which so do no great travell for it s said that wisdom preventeth those which earely seek her by first shewing her self unto them and he did really beleeve the same and hath since seen the fullfilling so it in many who hath sought after her betimes But as the Light of the Lord did arise and shine forth in him letting him to see things which differd from it this caused him to confess his guilt before the Lord he could in no wise deny or extenuate it for he read it in his owne conscience which stood as an everlasting record against him and now he thought him self in a more desperate and distressed condition then ever before for he could not speak for him self he could not call for mercie he was afraid to lift up his eyes to heaven the pressure of his owne iniquity lay so heavy upon him neither knew he how to eate or drinck possess or enjoy he was afraid and his feare increased day by day for understanding was given unto him and the revealation of his wretched and deploreable state in measure stood open and bare before him So gloriouss was the outgoings of the Lord in the removing the vayle of his heart so as if he needed not any one to accuse him or to lay things to his charge or to make him guilty in his owne eyes And as he saw him self at first deceived so now how forward he had been to yeild to the deceiver which stood as an aggravation of his former evils in which he had lived Thus saw he that he stood in covenant with hell and death and alienated from God in enmity and ungodlyness or as that of Salomon when he thus concluded I sayd in my heart concerning the estate of the
sones of men that God might manifest them that they might see that they them selves are beasts Whilst thus he stood what to do he knew not was ready to loath and abhor him self and to wish that he had never been born for the booke which was opened was as a thousand witnesses he saw he could no wayes evade its record and testimony no escaping no fleeing from it and what he read therein he read it all to be against and not for him nor no wayes tending to his releife that he could see but the contrary For as for those things whereby he might have had hope as the receiveing of him whom God had sent in the ministration of a wakening conviction and drawing neere in true holy subjection thereunto and those good things of his before spoken of which could not stand or remaine with him to his support in this the day of the appearance of the son of God in clouds because his worke was and for ever is to make a decision for the Lord in the righteouss judgeing and scattering of these things which had not been effected or wrought by his holy Spirit who hath sayd without me you can do nothing but were produced and taken up as before hath been sayd to seek and obtaine life by and not acting or working from it so was climbing up a wrong way and not striveing to enter into the true sheepfold at the right door so that when he came to have need indeed his Lamp proved without oyle for so he saw himself to be as the heart searcher found him out to lay wast the inheritance of the wicked for ever So that an anchor to have held his soule by in this the day of his sore troubles and afflictions he had not nor nought to defend himself withall therein but was founde out to be by him who is the Amen the faithfull and true witness whose eyes are as a flame of fire naked and blinde and miserable darkness and ignorance filling his heart and the wofull effects thereof and what to do more he knew not for the revelation of this his destitute and forsaken state and the opening his heart in the manifestation thereof and bringing things forth into his remembrance and setting them before his face all this and what ever might besayd of that kinde was not deliverance it was but manifestation not a setting him at liberty from the night and the chain of it neither a setting him at the table of the Lord to eate of the flesh of Christ and to drink of the consolateing wine of the Kingdom but the ripping open of his corrupted heart that he might learn to know him self and what it was to go from the Fathers house to feed him self with husks amongst swine And herein in measure was the great love of God manifested unto him in not suffering him to go on in his former wayes and courses untill those things which belonged to his peace had been hid from his eyes Thus the Lord proceeded with him and then the vialls of wrath was not poured forth nor the recompence and reward in flames of fire from heaven to execute vengance on that ungodly nature and Spirit which he had cleaved to and lived in and thereby had been adulterated from his maker Of these things he knew not as yet as afterwards when the day burned as an Oven to consume the stuble and the dross in which day he might have sayd who shall abide or who shall dwell with devoureing fire The man dyed in greiff unutterable and such sorrow as never was before nor can demonstration and greatest utterance tell of as he shall know who thereunto shal be brought by the righteouss correcting hand of the Lord when he wil be eased of his adadversaries and avenged of his enemies in which day the Lord will judge with fire Some times whilst sorrow hath fild his heart and perplexity his Spirit by reason of the disquietnes and trouble which was there he hath walked into the feilds and seen allthings in a sweet serene calm scarsly a leafe of a tree to stir he hath been affected therewith and sayd with in him self the creation is more happy then I which is at rest in its place from such storms and tempests as he was fild with and wished and desired that he might know so great a calm inwardly as those creatures outwardly did enjoy for he concluded surely a blessed state it would be unto him who now was fild with restless thoughts and greiffs as the sea is troubled when the mighty winds rowleth the waters thereof on heapes for then he should know tranquilitie of minde and rest in the holy one which nothing but his power could say be still and effectually worke it for him for all his attempts had proved short and whilst he was striveing was disapointed and so in sorrow lay Thus was it with the poor and comfortless man who in misery was and distress good things was removed away from him and his pretented freind manifested to be his enemy a bad one indeed for so he thought him now to be who through all his pretences deceivings and flatteries sought his ruin and destruction but how to get rid of him out of his heart for there he had seated himself and to redemption and salvation the thing which all along was in his eye he knew not And thus lay the man in his greife and the terrors of the Lord revealing in him because of his transgressions And so gloriouss and dreadfull was the Majesty thereof that he exceedingly feard and trembled and how help should come unto him or when or never he knew not he was a fraid to look to the Lord as hath been sayd or to hope for his help for with what thought he shall I look I who am in a state rather to greive and vex the Lord rather then to hope or trust in him and to rebell against him and transgress rather to curss then to bless his holy Name well if it be thus with me said he as it is and surely so it was with him as the Prophet sayd that as every battle of the warrior is with confused noyse and garments rowld in blood so this is with burning and devoureing fire then in a bed of sorrow I am out of which I can not arise but oh that I might be helped and releived I even I who am without comfort or releife like unto the poor destitute people of old time who for many dayes were with out a King and without a Prince and without an offering and without an image and without an Ephod and without Jerraphim but afterwards it s sayd of them that they should seek the Lord and David there King Now although it was a lamentable state and condition yet it might be it was possible with the Lord that at the last he might know the repayrer of breaches and the restorer of pathes to dwell in and that at last he might come to walk
in the Light of the Lord with his ransomed ones and be taught of his wayes and to know his secrets as those did who feard his holy Name For Job was miserable when he scraped his soares with a potsheard and the Lord restored him and David cryed long and sought the Lord and at last he sayd that the Lord had heard him and granted unto him his request so that he in trust in the Lord sayd surely mercie and goodness shall follow me all the dayes of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever so dearly did the Lord for ever so dearly did the Lord engage his heart unto him And Paul cryed out O wretched man that I am and yet afterwards he sayd that the Law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus had set him free from the Law of Sin and death which was the great occasion the Law of Sin and death haveing dominion over him of his wretched wofull state and many others which he had read of and sayd why not I why should not I pertake of the goodness and mercie of the Lord as well as they for he concluded that neither they nor yet any that did pertake thereof which is the benefit that comes by Jesus Christ had more need of it feelingly then he had Thus he entertaind a belief into his heart and sayd that he hoped the Lord was the same to day as yesterday even a God gratiouss and mercifull pardoning iniquity and sin for his owne name sake and that is arme was not shortned that he could not bring forth deliverance as of old time and therefore sayd that he would hope although it were but a litle least he also should be cut of through unbeleife as those who fell short thereby and though he found in him self litle or no cause for it but his necessity I 'l hope and I 'l waite sayd he although it be against hope there may be some what in it more then I know at present This was when he in the deep sence of his state stood as one broken and poured forth before the Lord in teares and sorrow days and nights and he must have it freely and of good will or not at all and in mercie and loveing kindness for he had nought but miserie and necessitie to part with being naked and bear before him for his coverings weare rent and he remained as empty and void of any thing which should have been life or refreshment unto him Now he had read thus I counsel thee to buy of me white rayment that thy nakedness may not appeare and that thy shame may be coverd and in such a state of need he was and necessity unto which that counsell was given and he had tryed many sellers and many merchants whose merchandise he found answerd not to releive him in his necessity and their garments were too short to cover his nakedness with all and haveing essayed for releife where by he might have had hopes and not walked too and fro under the subjection of disconsolation and amazement he thought at the last by the conduct of a secret still and inward vertue that he must buy enjoy and possess that covering which can hide and be sufficient thereunto from the storm in Gods sight of him which searched his heart and tryed his reines which brought to light the thingh of profane Esaw and that stretched forth the rod of Justice and Jugment upon the back of the fool which had sayd in his heart there is no God and that as it is written he stood at the door and had long there stood knocking that he might be opend unto and come in and this he could not deny but must confess although he had an eare and did often heare him knocking yet strove he against him and was loath to yeild or submit thereunto through the unbeleife and hardness of his heart begotten in him by his false and deceitfull adversarie then disguised like a freind But now his necessitous state and deplorable condition enforced him such constraint had the love of God upon his soule to receive him in that he might and his father come in also and sup with him and he with them so the man expected the supper the food the refreshment the covering and salvation and thought it no more then so so alienate and estranged was he from the right way of the Lord in darkness and ignorance but otherwise he found it to be as at a certaine time the Lord said unto him when in a sad bewilderd state he was I will lead thee by a way which thou knowest not and so it came to pass an unknowne way it was wherein he never could make a right or streight step but as his minde inwardly was directed by the guidance hand of his holy power no longer could he see his way or the path in which he was with safety to tread that so he might have hopes at last to pass through into the desire of his soule but as his heart was fixed in relyance upon the Lord out of all his owne strivings motions and contrivances And so the opening of the door was to be which his owne hardness of heart and unbeleife stood against before that he that stood at the door and knockt could get in and the crookednes and perverssnes that the way of the Lord migh be prepared and his entrance in be through faith in him and thus the voice of a burning and shining Light cryed prepare the way of the Lord make his path streight Thus the doing of all those forementioned lets and hinderances away and leagues and covenants with hell and death must be parted with broken and made void and that by him his assistance who comes with his fan in his hand thorowly to purge his floore till when no supper could be enjoyed although here a litle and there a litle of the crums thereof might fall downe unto him by way of encouragement and to teach him that worthy was the Lord to be waited upon and sought after in the way of his Judgments For so began they to be manifested with in him as a refiners fire as fullers soape the burning heat whereof and sharp pierceings made him to feare exceedingly that the wheat would have been consumed with the chaffe that his small hopes which did arise in him from the experience he had as in the twinckling of an eye beheld of the mercie of the Lord and weak resolution and himself must for ever have been consumed in its gloriouss and righteouss workings thus was he fild with dread and feare before the Lord and the ariseings of his gloriouss power And Moses saw a bush burning with fire and the bush not consumed thereby and Moses turned aside to see that great sight and the Lord spoke from out there and sayd unto him put of thy shoes from of thy feet for the ground where on thou stands is holy and Moses hid his face and was