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A12367 A preparatiue to mariage The summe whereof was spoken at a contract, and inlarged after. Whereunto is annexed a treatise of the Lords Supper, and another of vsurie. By Henrie Smith. Smith, Henry, 1550?-1591. 1591 (1591) STC 22685; ESTC S104139 97,988 337

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before Marriage which is the dowrie that God addeth to her portion The third signe is her speach or rather her silence for the ornamēt of a woman is silence and therefore the law was giuen to the man rather than to the woman to shew that he should bee the teacher and she the hearer As the Eccho answereth but one word for manie which are spoken to her so a maides answere should be a word as though she sold her breath The eye and the speach are the mindes Glasses for out of the abundance of the heart saith Christ the mouth speaketh as though by the speach we might know what aboundeth in the heart and therfore he saith By thy words thou shalt bee iustified and by thy wordes thou shalt bee condemned That is thou shalt be iustified to bee wise or thou shalt bee condemned to bee foolish thou shalt bee iustified to bee sober or thou shalt bee condemned to bee rash thou shalt bee iustified to bee humble or thou shalt be condemned to be proud thou shalt be iustified to be louing or thou shalt be condemned to be enuious Therefore Salomon saith A fooles lips are asnare to his owne soule Snares are made for other but this snare catcheth a mans selfe because it bewraieth his folly and causeth his trouble and bringeth him into discredite Contrariwise The heart of the wise saith Salomon guideth his mouth wisely and the wordes of his mouth haue grace Now to shewe that this should bee one marke in the choyce of thy Wife Salomon describing a right Wife saith She openeth her mouth with wisedome the lawe of grace is in her tongue As the open vessels were counted vncleane so account that the open mouth hath much vncleannes The fourth signe is the apparel for as the pride of the Glutton is noted in that he went in purple euerie day so the humilitie of Iohn is noted in that hee went in haire-cloath euery day A modest woman is known by her sober attire as the Prophet Eliah was knowne by his rough garment Looke not for better within than thou seest without for euery one seemeth better than hee is if the face bee vanitie the heart is pride Hee which biddeth thee abstaine from the shewe of euill would haue thee to abstaine frō those wiues which haue the shewes of euill for it is hard to come in the fashion not to be in the abuse And therefore Paule saieth Fashion not your selues like vnto this world as though the fashions of mē did declare of what side they are The fift signe is the companie for birds of a feather will flie together and fellowes in sinne will bee fellowes in league as yong Rehoboam chose young companions The tame beastes will not keepe with the wild nor the cleane with the leprous If a man cā be known by nothing els then he maye bee knowne by his companions for like will to like as Salomon saieth theeues call one another Therefore when Dauid left iniquitie he sayd Away from me al ye that work iniquitie Shewing that a man neuer abandoneth euill vntill hee abandon euill companie for no good is concluded in this parliament Therefore choose such a companiō of thy life as hath chosen companie like thee before for they which did choose such as loued prophane companiōs before in a while were drawne to be prophane too that their wiues might loue them When these rules are obserued they may ioyne together and say as Laban and Bethuel said This commeth of the Lord therfore wee will not speake against it How happie are those in whome Faith and Loue and Godlinesse are married together before they marrie themselues For none of these Martiall and clowdie and whining Marriages can saye that Godlinesse was inuited to their Bridall and therfore the blessings which are promised to godlinesse doo flie from them Now in this choice are two questions First whether children may marrie without their parents consent and the second whether they may marrie with Papists or Atheists c. Touching the first God saith Honor thy father and thy mother Now wherein canst thou honour them more than in this honourable action to which they haue preserued thee and brought thee vp which concerneth the state of thy whole life Againe in the first institution of Mariage when there was no Father to giue consent then our heauenly Father gaue his consent God supplied the place of the Father brought his Daughter vnto her Husband and euer since the Father after the same manner hath offred hys Daughter vnto the Husband Beside there is a Lawe that if a man deflowre a Virgin he shall marrie her but if the Father of the Virgin do not like of the Mariage then he shall pay vnto her the dowrie of Virgins that is so much as her Virginitie is esteemed so that the Father might alow the Mariage or forbid it Againe there is a Law that if any free man or free womā make a vow it must be kept But if a Virgin make a vow it should not be kept vnlesse her Father approue it because she is not free therefore if she did vow to marry yet the Father hath power by this Lawe to breake it Therefore the Lawe speaketh vnto the Father saying Thou shale not take a Wife for thy sonne of straungers Therefore Paule speaketh to the Father If thou giue thy daughter to mariage thou doest well therefore Iobs children are counted part of Iobs substance shewing that as a man hath the disposition of his owne substance so he hath the disposition of his owne children Therefore in Math. 22. 30. the Wife is sayd to be bestowed in mariage which signifieth that some did giue her beside her selfe Therefore it is said that Iacob serued Laban that Laban might giue him his daughter to wife Therefore Saule saith to Dauid I will giue thee my eldest daughter to wife therefore it is said that Iudah tooke a wife to Er his sonne Therefore Sichem saith to his Father Get me this maide to Wife Therefore in the mariage of Isaak we see Abrahams seruant in the place of Isaak and Rebeccah the maid and her parents sitting in parliament together therefore Sampson though he had found a maid to his liking yet he would not take her to wife before he had tould his parents and craued their assent It is a sweete wedding when the Father and the Mother bring a blessing to the feast and a heauie vnion which is cursed the first day that it is knit The parents commit their childrē to Tutors but themselues are more than Tutors If children may not make other contracts without their good will shall they contract mariage which haue nothing to maintain it after vnlesse they returne to begge of them whome they skorned before Will you take your fathers money and will
will moue another like one which putteth diuers keyes into a locke vntill it open So he which examineth must try try proue and proue search and search for the angell of darknesse is like an angell of light and we haue no way to discouer him but that of Iohn Try the spirites God examineth with tryalls the Deuill examineth with temptations the world examineth with persecutions we which are thus examined had neede to examine too If any man skill not what Examining meaneth the very word Examine is so pregnant that it prompteth vs how we should examine for it signifieth to put our selues vnto the Touchstone as if we would try Golde from Copper Therefore one sayth that Examination is the eye of the soule whereby she seeth her selfe and her safetie and her danger and her way which she walketh and her pace which she holdeth and the end to which she tendeth she lookes into her glasse and spieth euery spot in her face how all her graces are stayned then she takes the water of life and washeth her blots away After she lookes againe and beholdeth all her gifts her faith feare loue patience meekenes and marketh how euery one doth florish or wither If they fade and decay that she feeleth a consumption then she taketh preseruatiues and restoratiues of prayer and councell and repentance before the sicknesse growe thus euery day she letteth downe a bucket into her heart to see what water it bringeth vp least she should corrupt within and perish sodeinly To heare and reade pray and fast and communicate is a worke of many but to examine these works is the fashion of few and therefore Ieremy complayneth No man sayth What haue I done as if he should say no man examineth himselfe and therefore in all the scripture it is sayd but of one That he feared all his works as though he durst not thinke nor speake nor do any thing before he had examined what it was from whence it came whether it went so the more precious treasure is deeper hid in the ground The second poynt is to Examine our selues Paule sayth Try all things much more should we try our selues The good sower doth sow his owne ground but the bad sower doth sowe an other mans ground as the Diuell did The Disciples of Christ sayde Mayster is it I not Mayster is it hee The disciples of Iohn asked Mayster what shall wee doo not Mayster what shall they doo wee must obay some and heare others and admonish others and loue all but examin our selues That which we applie vnto others the Apostle applieth vnto our selues for whē we speake of an examiner we intend one which examineth other when wee speake of an accuser wee intend one which accuseth other when wee speake of a Iudge wee meane one which iudgeth others but the Scripture crieth Examine thy selfe accuse thy selfe iudge thy selfe that is bee not curious to search a more in thy brothers eye but pull out the beame which is in thy owne eye This doth shewe that they which sit in Gods chaire to iudge others commonly haue greater faults themselues thā they whome they vse to iudge and therefore Christ calleth their fault a beame and the others a mote This made Dauid say Examine thy heart thy heart is thy owne heart therfore thou must examine whether thou pray whether thou watch whether thou fast and not whether he pray whether he fast whether he watch as the Pharisie examined the Publican least thou haue Peters checke when he examined what Iohn shoulde doo Christ sayd What is that to thee followe thou me Thou art a priuate man and hast a priuate examination therefore let thy question be What haue I done and make thy Anatomie of thy selfe See beloued wee may not beleeue our selues before wee haue examined our selues for wee are false hearted and the notablest cosoner that deceiueth most for one time that he deceiueth others ten times deceiueth himselfe Because the flesh is a wylie seruant will lye like Gehezi to his owne master and face him that it hath not sinned when it commeth from sinne therefore as Elisha examined his seruant so the soule must examine her seruant that is man must be ielous of himselfe take himselfe for a lyar for a flatterer for a dissembler vntill hee bee throughly acquainted with himselfe for no man is so often beguiled as by himselfe by trusting his double heart and taking his owne worde without further triall If Paule had bid vs examine others wee would haue sifted them like Sathan Sathan hath desired to sift thee saith Christ to Peter so wee haue a desire to sift others euen Peter which was sifted of Sathan longed to sift Iohn and knowe what hee should doo before hee hearkened to his owne charge Therefore the helpe of examination is a needfull preseruatiue although we were as soūd as Peter They which are suspected of crime do not examine themselues but are examined of others least they should be partiall but a christian must examine himselfe of his crime and be his owne iudge his owne accuser and his owne condemner for no man knoweth the spirit of man but the spirit which is in man which will condemne him if he be guiltie and tel him all that he hath done with what minde he did it and what he deserueth for it This is the priuate araignement or close Sessions whē Conscience sits in her chaire to examine and accuse and iudge and condemne her selfe because she will not bee condemned of God Thus holy men haue kept their Sessions at home and made their hearts the forman of the Iurie and examined themselues as wee examine others the feare of the Lord stoode at the doore of their soules to examine euery thought before it went in and at the doore of their lippes to examine euery word before it went out whereby they escaped thousand sinnes which we commit as though we had no other woorke So thou shouldest sit in iudgement of thy selfe and call thy thoughts and speeches and actions to giue in euidēce against thee whether thou bee a Christian or an Infidell a sonne or a bastard a seruant or a rebell a Protestant or an hypocrit if thou finde not faith nor feare nor loue nor zeale when thou examinest thy selfe let no man make thee beleeue that thou art holie that thou art sanctified that thou art a Christian that thou art a beleeuer that thou art a Gospeller because thou art worse than thou seemest to thy selfe for euerie man is partiall to himselfe when he is most humbled Therefore if my heart tell me that I do not loue God whom shall I beleeue before my selfe As Salomon saith No man can search the heart of the king so Paule saith No man knoweth the spirit of any man but the spirit which is in man that is no man feeleth the heart of man