blessing of God upon my long use of the labours of those worthy men have I found much encouragement to hold up to this day under various tryals a short account of which may conduce to my end in this particular which is to stir you up to get and give the Lord the glory of such comfortable assistants Time was when I lay under darkness deprived of the light and comfort of Gods Countenance I thought he acted towards me as an enemy one affliction came in upon the back of another that my hands began to flagg My sins I apprehended to be so great that my prayers brought me in but little comfort or none at all I was ready to cry out the decree is past I conceited that his mercy was clear gone for ever In reading Dr. Preston upon the attributes it pleased God to give me some satisfaction by reading there that there is a certain decree concerning the time appointed for every man to dye yet do not we forbear to eat or take physick and though there be a time when God doth reject a soul and cast him off as he did Saul yet this decree being unknown to us there is a door of hope opened for sinners yet to come to God for though the day of death be determined yet who doth neglect the use of means to preserve life and page 93 he saith O thou poor soul wouldest thou repent and pray wouldest thou change thy life if there were any hope why if there be no more grace in thee then this and thou dost pray and repent well as thou canst God cannot but hear thee For he is an immutable God who hath stiled himself a God hearing prayers And from reverend Mr. Bridges who in his lifting up of down casts among many other things saith Did you ever read in all the book of God that ever God did forsake a man finally that was sensible of it and complained thereof simply for its self and thinks the time long and tedious till the Lord comes again 〈◊〉 such a one he concludes in the word of the Lord is not fallen totally or finally So likewise when under those horrible instigations to curse to swear to blaspheme and in the very act of duty or speaking of the blessed God injections to the contrary How hath the Lord gratiously met with me and supported me by the hearing and reading of the labours of Gods faithful Ministers Mr. Bolton in his comforting of afflicted Consciences who tells us these are not ours but Satans sins and will in the day of reckoning be laid upon his score and some comfort have I met with from Mr. Baxter in his thirty two directions and others Under all my troubles God directed me to one or other of his Servants who by speaking or writing gave much ease to my troubled mind Above all others I am bound to thankfulness to God for the Comfort I received from two one is that learned blessed man Dr. Th. Goodwin in his Child of Light walking in darkness The abundance of refreshment that I found from those ten directions of his in that book was such as I am much bound to bless God for him The other is Mr. Burroughs in the book I mentioned before where especially these things were a great stay to me 1. That God tenders himself to all to whom the Gospel comes in a Covenant of Grace and not of works 2. All the good that God doth his Creatures especiall in relation to eternal Life is for his Names sake 3. There is no qualification in the Creature made by God himself as a◠condition for believing 4. That it is the great glory of God and the design that he hath in this world to glorifie himself in the way of his free grace and faithfulness towards the Children of men 5. That it is as delightful to Jesus Christ to have the end of his death fulfilled as it is to us to have our own Salvation 6. God leaves his own people sometimes without sence of his love for many good ends 7. God hath more glory in saving a poor Soul then in casting him off When such a one comes in to God freely confessing his sins judging himself God hath more glory in the salvation of him then in his damnation That Sermon likewise of Mr. Bridges Christ in travel helped me much against my fears of Apostacy and falling away where Use 2. p. 141. he saith if Christ will see the travel of his Soul and be satisfied here we may see the reason why we cannot be satified with that opinion of the Saints Apostacy This also being unsatisfactory to the heart of Christ can a man be satisfied to see one of his members torn from him can a man delight in it or endure it surely then this Doctrine of falling from grace must needs be false if Christ travelleth for the salvation of his people he shall see their perseverance Thus have I acquainted you with part of the great advantage I found in making use of the labours of the Ministers of Christ oh love them lay out for them look upon them as the gift of Christ for the good of you and the Lord enlarge them and multiply such labourers in his harvest To conclude what I have upon experience to say to thee poor sad soul you have seen how touch misery I have felt and how the Lord drew me out of it therefore look upon thy condition as a mourner in Sion Is 61.3 chap. 33.18 to be much better then the most jovial sinner in Sion let those dreadful chastisements of God laid upon you by the hand of Satan either in the way spoken of before or in any other whatsoever never pass with you as sufficient cause of doubting of the love of God Learn to make a difference between matter of humilliation and matter of doubts and desperation 2 Cor. 12.7 1 Joh. 3.23 Satans buffetings may well beget humblings in a Paul But cannot dissolve the Commandment of believing in the name of the Son of God Be thy troubles what they will remember The Mount is the place of vision When you are at the highest top of troubles you are nighest to deliverance Gen. 22.14 In the Mount will the Lord be seen hath been a fruitful place of comfort to me often in my distress Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee because he trusteth in thee Trust ye in the Lord for ever for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength Is 26.3 4. For the vision is yet for an appointed time but at the end it shall speak and not lye though it tarry wait for it because it will surely come it will not tarry Hab. 2.3 There hath no temptation 1. Cor. 10.3 God shall tread Satan under your feet shortly Rom. 16 20. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of God Lam. 3.26 2. 〈◊〉 word or two to you that have been in deep waters at
why say you my way is hidden from the Lord and my judgement passed over of my God know you not or have you not heard that the everlasting God the Lords of the ends of the Earth is neither weary nor fainteth but giveth strength to him that fainteth the young men shall faint and be weary but they that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength and lift up their wings as the Eagle they shall run and not faint In that day when the Mountains of the Lords house shall be established above the Mountains of the Earth for which glorious day I shall not cease to pray for O thou eternal being of beings whose name is Jehovah the Lord of Hosts who hast made the Heavens the earth the great sea and all the Creatures therein for the manifesting of thy blessed self in thine excellency that so by the displaying of thy glorious attributes we might know thy power wisdom and goodness and fear thy great and glorious name and truly Lord thou hadst done a most sweet work in the day wherein thou beheldst the works of thy hands and said they were very good O the great engagements of love and obedience thou hast laid upon us in that day when thou hadst advanced us and made us not only Lords of the works of thine hands and for our use putting all things in subjection under our feet but making us after thine own Image in righteousness and holiness whereby thou didst enable us to the performance of worship and obedience thou requirest at our hands But O the great dishonour and Rebellion we acted against thee our Creator in breaking thy holy Law which thou gavest us to keep as the Tryal of our obedience and by giving more credit unto Sathan in believing him and what he said then the threatnings of thee our God and therefore O Lord how righteous wast thou in thy judgements upon them and us their posterity in delivering us into the hands of Satan so that we who came from their loins came so deformed with that cursed Image of Satan that we are born thine enemies children of wrath and heirs of vengeance and bringing upon our selves a woful necessity of sinning against thee O Lord how justly mightest thou laid upon our first Parents and we their posterity to have born thy righteous punishments for ever without Redemption But blessed Lord thou didst in judgement remember mercy in condescending to treat with our Parents letting out that gratious promise That the seed of the woman should break the serpents head revealing mercy by a second Adam to come and so entring into a new covenant not of works but of grace that believing in him we should have eternal Life O gratious Father how didst thou magnifie thy mercy over the works of thine hands and didst do a work more wonderful then the Creation in giving the eternal word the brightness of thy glory the express Image of thy self thine only begotten Son by an eternal generation to take upon him the nature of man and to be born of the blessed Virgin that so he might by an Hupostatical union joy the humanity to the diety that so he might be enabled to undergo the work of mans Redemption a work so wonderful that all the Angels could not have devised and into which they pry into with admiration that thereby he might make such an attonement that might satisfie for the sins of man to the utmost and that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have Eternal Life And now dear Father thou hast given us the word of reconciliation the witness of thy truth wherein thou hast made known to us that thou hast given us eternal Life by Jesus Christ that immaculate Lamb of God who hath laid down his Life upon the Cross to answer thy justice and by his sufferings merits and Righteousness Resurrection from Death to Life hath cancelled the Law of condemnation taking down the wall of partition and making admission for sinners to come to the Throne of Grace with boldness And now hast given us pretious promises that what we ask in the name of thy son shall be done for us And now dear Father of Heaven what was I or my Fathers family but a sinful generation of men That thou shouldst choose me to salvation before the world was and in due time to call me to the knowledge of this mistery of mans Redemption and by the witness of thy word and blessed spirit should seal unto me the pardon of sin in the day when thou deliveredst me out of the hands of that roaring Lyon And after my seeking thy face for many years with doubtings and fears under many desertions and dreadful temptations and many various dispensations which thou most blessed God hast turned all to my advantage breaking into my Soul with so much love that I know not whom of the sons of men did ever receive a greater mercy And now Lord of thy goodness hast called me from the ways of the world to be of the number of those whom thou hast chosen to eternal Life and therefore having tasted so abundantly of thy strange Love a Love to admiration a Love we are not able to apprehend in the acknowledgement whereof and that I might declare what a God thou art according to mine engagement and that I might exalt thy glorious name and declare thy loving kindness to me to the ends of the earth have made bold to present these lines to the publick view for the magnifying of thy mercies to me the worst of the sons of men and the greatest of sinners if thou shouldest charge my sins upon me and be thou pleased to accept of what I have written in good part and let thy blessing so go along with it that the delusions methods devices and temptationt of Sathan that old cunning Serpent may be so discovered to poor souls that lye under his cruelty may receive advantage thereby When they shall read this small discourse of thy gratious actings with me O let thy blessing be upon iâ— that they may receive comfort thereby that thy goodness may be magnâ—fied which thou knowest Lord to be the only cause I have given it to the publick view who never thought my namâ— should have appeared in such a way And now dear Father I humbly beseech thee manifest thy glorious Gospel of thy Son to the ends of the Earth that all Nations may know thou art a God through Jesus Christ forgiving iniquity transgression and sin and to that end I humbly beseech thee fulfill thy word in pouring out thy indignation upon that whore of Babylon who hath dyed her garments red in the blood of the Saints that we may say Babylon Babylon is fallen and upon all the powers that oppose the righteous Scepter of thy Son the Gospel whom thou hast made King of Kings and Lord of Lords and hast given him the Heathen for his inheritance and the utmost ends of the earth for his possession who
that tended that way And by reason of the indwelling of sin the remainder of the curse for our first transgression which the best of Gods servants do carry about them taking advantage thereof being like unto Tinder that is ready to take fire as soon as is toucht doth cast his fiery darts into our souls part within us our hearts are ready to opose every truth of God and so we have a daily warfare and great strivings to keep our hearts from consenting to his wicked injections and much ado to bring them into a subjection unto the truths of God and like unto the Bird that hath a dogg tyed unto his legg whereby he is hindred from flying up into the Air and so by his impressions left upon our souls which is so weighty a burden that unders us from soaring up to Jesus Christ by 〈◊〉 and so vigilant is that cursed enemy to the glory of God and mans salvation that he goeth about day and night seeking whom he may davour and taking advantage of our weakness in our sleeps annoying us often with sinful dreams then laying his delusions upon us who still pursuing me according to his former methods lately in the night acted upon me in my sleep as though I had been in the number of them who were dragged from the Tribunal seat to Hell having received the sentance of condemnation with the damned and all this to the end and purpose it possible he could to have blasted that glorious mercy I received from the Lord by the witness of his blessed spirit that God did rather take the advantage of the greatness of my sins for the magnifying of his mercy rather then his justice in my condemnation and that I was of Abrakams family as I have declared in my Narrative in the day when the Lord gave me deliverance out of his hand But so impudent is this fiend of Hell called by the word of truth a lyar from the begining and so the Father of lyes using his old trade towards me with the subtlety of the old Serpent and all this to daunt my faith and to have blasted the mercy which I received from my gratious God who hath laid it upon my soul by such a witness that I believe and know all the Devils in Hell shall not be able to overthrow it And that I may magnifie and set forth the goodness of God I will take up the words of the Prophâ—t Isaiah O Lord my God I will exalt thoe and praise thy name for ever for thou hast done wonderful things according to thy councel of old thou hast been a strength to the needy in his troubles a refuge against the tempest so that the blast of the mighty was as a storâ—â— against the wall the Lord will destroy death and wipe away tears from the faces of his and take of their rebakes the Lord hath spoken it and â—ill make it good and in that day will men say â—â—lo this is our God we have waited for him yea in the way of his judgements he will save us and we will be glad in his salvation He shall bring down the pride of Moab and lay their defensed walls as low as the dust in that day shall this song be sunged in the Land of Judah we have a strong City salvation shall God sâ—t for walls and bulworks Open ye the gates that the righteous Nation may enter therein for by an asured purpose wilt thou preferve in parfect peace for ever because they trusted in thee Trust in the Lord for ever for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength Thou wilt make equal the righteous way of the just the desire of our souls is to the remembrance of thy name for when thy judgements are upon the Earth the Inhabitants of the Earth shall learn righteousness even they that fear thy name but the wicked will not do so nor behold the Majesty of the Lord O Lord they will not now behold thy hand but they shall see it and be confounded with the zeal of thy people but unto us thou wilt ordain peace for thou kast wright all our works for us thy dead men shall live and with my body shall they arise even with my body and shall behold the King in his beauty Awake and sing ye that dwell in the dust thy dew is as the dow of kerbs and the Earth will cast out his dead and in that day of this power shall the coming in be like the drops of dow that arise from the Womb of the worning Thou hast drunk of the brook in the way therefore shall thy head be lifted in that day for the Lord â—â—mâ—â—h out of his place to visit the iniquity of the Inhabitants of the Earth and the Earth shall disclose his blood And to receive the Kingdoms for his inheritance and the utmost parts of the Earth for his possession beirg Heir thereunto by donatian of the Father and â—hâ—n shall that good word of the Lord be â—â—de good that at the â—â—me of Jesus every knee shall bow both in Heaven and Earth and every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is both Lord and King to the praise and glory of the Lord for the Father hath said when he brirgeth his first begotten again into the world 〈◊〉 all the Angels and every Creature worship him And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see together O Sion that bringest good tidings get thee up into the Mountains O Jerusalem that bringest good ridings lift up thy voice with strength be not affraid say to the Cities of Judah behold your God behold he comith with power and his arme shall rule behold his Reward is with him and his work before him and he shall feed his flock like a Shepherd and gather his lambs in his armes and carry in his bosome and guide them with them which are with young It is he that hath measured the waters in his fists covered the Heavens with a span comprehended the dust of the Earth in a measure weigheth the Mountains in Scales and the Hills in Ballances Who hath instructed the spirit of the Lord of whom took he Counsel Who instructed him and taught uim in the way of his judgements Behold the Nation are as a drop of water or counted as the dust oâ— the Ballance He taketh up the Isles as a little thing Lebanon not sufficient for a fire nor the beasts thereof for a burnt Offering to whom the will you liken God he sitteth upon the Circle of he Earth and the inhabitants are as Grasshoppets he spreadth out the Heavens like a Curtain he bringeth the Princes to nothing and maketh the Judges of the Earth as vanity to whom then will ye liken me saith the holy one lift up your eyes and behold who hath Created all these things he bringeth out his Armies by number and calleth them all by their names by the greatness of his strength nothing faileth O ye suffering Saints