am methinks like Jonah tumbling My Soul in a Tempest in the bottom of the Sea the Bars of an earthly and dark Mind are stopping my way and am as lifeless methinks as if I had no Interest in the Fountain of Saving Health The Weeds are wrapp'd about my head I am in the Deep but cannot cry unto the Lord as Jonah did And what the Lord is teaching me by this unexpected disappointment I cannot yet tell yet notwithstanding I have hope in him that I shall yet be rescued from this Captivity and see his Face again I have been searching after all my sins through the several Ages of my Life and endeavoured to view the Depravity of my Soul in all the sinful Circumstances of every sin but I cannot wind my self out my design was to get thereby to a more sincere Closure with Christ but e're I was aware I had challenged forth more Enemies than I could well suppress I thought by aggravating my sins to have gotten more hunger after Jesus Christ but like over-much cold Water it damped my Stomach and I found Sickness seizing upon me rather than Hunger a heartless Stupidity instead of Believing I concluded I was in some kind or other out of my way or else had not prepared my Stomach to keep out the Infection that exhaled from that Body of Death which is within me as I should have done whiles I was moving the Limbs thereof The thing I aimed at was quickning Then I remembred that word Luk. 24. 5. Why seek ye the living among the dead Come not amongst the Graves without his company who died for sins and is risen from the Dead I could not be satisfied about the sincerity of my Repentance and there I stuck till at length I remembred that Christ rose again as well to give Repentance as Remission of Sins Act. 5. 31. and 11. 18. so that I can bring no Repentance to him but I must first get it from him He is exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance c. A Saviour to take away all the defects of my Repentance a Prince to overcome all the difficulties and to create in me a sound Mind against the Infirmites of my Repentance and my halting therein Take then O mighty Prince and Saviour this work into thy own hands and create a right Spirit within me So that now my gadding Spirit is My Soul returning to its Strong Hold. brought back again to see that Christ is the Alpha and Omega the Author and Finisher of whatever doth concern the new Creature And although he be so yet how hard is it to venture my Soul and Body my whole Hope and Care into his hands by faith in his Word I had need know such an one very well with whom I am to venture my Journey through a Warfaring Life here and shortly through Death and Judgment too and so into the Ocean of Eternity O dear Jesus who art my Lord and my God who canst renew my heart and none else can do it breath upon me and say Receive the Holy Ghost Cast thy Mantle upon me and let the Unction of thy Spirit be so shed abroad throughout my whole Soul that my heart may be entirely thine thine only that thy self only may be the Covering of my eyes instead of all other Objects And now what should hinder but The Soul first improves Baptism that at length I should solemnly in the presence of God the Father Son and Spirit and in the presence of all the elect Angels pursue the ends of that Covenant which was sealed by Christ's Appointment to me in Baptism through whose hands soever that Ordinance was appointed and permitted to pass upon me Was not that a Divine Prophesie which Balaam himself spake which passed through his Mouth Numb 24. 17. There shall come a Star out of Jacob c. and can the Ordinance of Christ be made void through whose hands soever it came and in what unworthy Robe soever it was drest Did the sacred Ark lose its vertue by being in the Philistines Custody Did he forsake it who dwelt between the Cherubims Was the Mercy-seat forsaken and become like common Metal Why then should this Ordinance be lost to me in the substance of it though it may be some humane Scurf was laid upon it And have I not more reason to hope through Covenant-Grace that the Faith and Prayers of my dear Parents then and since are in force for a Blessing upon it to me than the defects of others in the manner of Administration can have to hinder it especially seeing now I desire humbly to take hold of the Covenant and with my own consent to say I agree to the Condescension of thy Grace and Love my dear Lord I catch hold on thy free Love and into thy Name O most holy God the Father Son and Spirit I give my self up through him who confirmed the Covenant and came by Water and Blood to make it effectual I believe Lord help my Unbelief I reach out my hand through thy Grace let thy Grace and Power pull me over to thy self that in the Ark of thy unchangeable Covenant I may be carried above my self and above a miserably drowned World Be not absent O thou who in thy Mercy didst make and impose this Seal of the Covenant as the Badge of one of thy Family for me to wear who also speakest words of Truth and Life when thou saist I baptise thee in the Name of the Father the Son and the Holy Ghost fulfil thy good Word unto me thy Servant in which I desire to hope that thou mayest be mine and I may be thine wholly for ever that I may serve thee and glory in thee with all thy people who are thine own Inheritance Do not hang back O my poor Struggles with Vnbelief heart whose weakness and inconstancy have so often bruised my inward Man O Anxious Unbelief thou tellest me 't is a bargain soon made but how shall it be performed Thou urgest me with difficulties that will arise from the World from my self from the Tryals that I may undergo in my Body my Soul my Estate unwonted Tryals Thou tellest me of the great fits of Darkness and shameful declining I have had after much Refreshment and strong Resolutions to the contrary Thou tellest me that my Falls will now cost me dearer than ever they did and the Holy Spirit will be sooner vexed and grieved than before Thou tellest me I shall soon be weary of my Yoke and then my Sins will be of a deeper and more heart-hardning Die than ever But remember O Soul-destroying Unbelief I rowl my self upon the Rock of Ages I deliver my self up to the Covenant of Grace not to bring strength to it but to fetch strength from it and from that word which saith Sin shall not have Dominion over you for you are not under the law but under grace Rom. 6. 14. And because I am weak
holds up any Connexion betwixt my confused heart and that spiritual Interest I am carried up and down by him as a lighted Candle in a windy place and its Flame ever ready almost to flee from the Wick were it not preserved by the Hollow of his Hand his Discipline I cannot want and live And it is refreshment to me that your heart is under a constant pursuit of that Mark of the Prize of the high Calling Draw Water still from the Fountain as much as you can Be a Stranger to all Instruments Means and Helps while you use them Know none but God taste none but him in all the Earth and remember the gauled Feet of your Fellow-travellers I received a Letter from Mr. Cr. I pray return the Inclosed to him his Advice is very savoury I think indeed Christ best approves of a holy Latitude for Affection and Communion amongst his Members 1656. To C. A. D. N o 25. DEar and Christian Friend yours I received and am glad that both your self and Wife are in health I desire in this respect to offer up my share of Praise with you and to rejoyce for you that you have a good Will to be trudging forwards Whether your pace be swift or slow be sure to fix your eyes as right as you can and the eye will affect the heart and give Wings for motion You desire to be naturalized to the whole Will of our heavenly Father I bless the Lord I desire the same and that we may both gain our desires let us in the Name of the Lord dig after the Understanding of the Mystery of the Father and the Son and ponder over and over the Interest which God hath designed the Elect in his only Son and he in them and how it is brought about through his Incarnation and Operation of the Spirit of Holiness who has made the fruits of his Life and Death and Resurrection really ours so that we may say each of us by Faith I am crucified I am risen with Christ and all the loveliness that is in him we may with trembling and great joy say it is our own because himself is ours and that will make his Yoke easie his Will desirable his Work profitable and spiritually natural to us I think it would help much to pray meditate view and cast up Accounts often to watch the Phisiognomy of our Consciences to make often Appeals to the Mediator and to the Father through him and so to keep the Work moving upon the Wheels and we shall at length get to that blessed Country where Righteousness dwelleth At thy right hand saith David there is fulness c. 1656. To A. M. C. N o 26. I Find in some of my Friends a savoury Taste of Grace which in this unsavoury Age is no small Mercy I hope the Mercy of the Lord to your Father will descend upon all his Off-spring He or she is happy that can keep his Garments clean and heart established in the truth and power of Grace amongst so much prophaneness on the one hand and giddy wild and loose way of Profession on the other hand some professing Impiety and others professing a vain Attainment of some Excellency besides the native Current of the Scriptures and pure Christianity The Lord I trust will preserve you from the Tempter I lament the Affliction of my Unkle and Aunt c. 1657. To D. H. N o 27. BE not weary of believing of praying of hoping of contending of rejoycing Your Interest cannot be broken from Christ by sickness by disappointments nor by sins Read the latter end of the 4th and 7th Chapter of the Romans and the rest also of that Book and bless God for the Mystery of his Truth Pity Love and Condescention therein Be above Friends Fears Guilt and Drooping in the Name of Jesus Christ having through his Grace given up your Name to him Honour him by accepting him as joyfully as he gives himself Then praise him most when you think you have least reason and baffle that ugly thing Unbelief by that Hope and Faith which is commended most by Jesus Christ when it seems most unreasonable to lowring faint-hearted and sick Flesh and Blood What Sickness so large as a trembling Ague Remember 2 Tim. 1. 6 7. c. 1657. To S. D. H. N o 28. ALthough the Ordinances are most gloriously powerful yet I find a bad time with my heart since I came hither but I expect some Lesson from God out of it The Old Man must be cut in pieces ere it will die it will not lift up one finger to destroy it self 't is only Foreign Aid that doth the work and how to leave all selfish Endeavours and by Faith to be yielded up to the in-working power of the Spirit of Christ there is the difficulty Faith receives all and doth nothing and yet the Travel of a Christian is called the Fight of Faith It fights in beholding the Salvation of God it fights in leaving every burthen on Christ yea it then conquers when it is able to subject the Consequence of Guilt and Endeavours of Renewing to the only Righteousness of Christ and the Vertue and Spirit of his Cross and Resurrection Faith is a strong Grace and free Grace a strange Mystery 'T is an Herb that grows where nothing else can grow it must be alone it abhors all manner of Aid that Flesh and Blood can give it undoes a poor Creature in a saving manner When a poor sinner gets liberty to be most sensibly vile and weak then Grace triumphs most Let your Travel be spent in this Enquiry and Subjection to Gospel-method that Jesus Christ may be all in every thing that you are concerned in c. 1657. To B. D. N o 29. I Find it very unwholsome to the Soul to give way to discouragement or faintness The Soul goes down the Wind apace when it says my hope is lost I shall one day fall by the hand of the Enemy Let perfect Resignment be your labour every day how difficult soever it seems to be God is able to make your Bow abide in strength though the Archers from the Enemies Camp may daily molest you In the Name of Christ beg the Father of Blessing to cause you to inherit Jacob's Blessing till at last you arrive upon the everlasting Hills Oh blessed be the God of the unchangeable Covenant and blessed be the Author and Finisher of our Faith I have an incessant Turmoil with my evil heart but am I trust marching towards Deliverance God has not as yet turned aside my Prayer nor his Mercy from me I am under his Discipline attending Judgment will be brought forth to Victory and Weakness unto Strength Light and Truth Let us not be contented with small degrees of the new Creature but thankful for the least and yet thirst day and night for more renewing Light and Transformation Remember you are a Soldier and shall be more than a Conqueror through him who loveth you
Grace and Favour and the Consolation of his Spirit I commit you and rest c. 1674. To E. D. N o 120. LEt your Consideration feed on the quickning Truths of the Gospel flying to and relying on Christ who is the Arm of the Lord rejoycing in him who requires you to cast every depressing burthen from your self upon him that is true Gospel-Method and you shall not be disappointed Faithful is God who hath called you into the Fellowship of his dear Son and thereby you have ground of Boldness to enter in within the Vail and he has promised you shall never be cast out for your Iniquities he will remember them no more and though the Cross be somewhat difficult to bear yet the Reserve at last will fully recompence all and therefore lift up your head for Redemption is coming We are troubled at the Troubles the Churches meet with in and elsewhere 'T is a sad day when the Word of Salvation comes to be suppressed by Souls that must perish without it Our business is chearfully and humbly to prepare for greater Shocks Nearness to God in Christ is the safest and sweetest Sanctuary 1675. To E. D. N o 121. I Have not received any Letter from you for divers Weeks which is not a little afflictive You are upon our hearts and we cease not the particular mention of you in our Prayers Sometimes I fear your Body lies under such extremity that you cannot write and sometimes I am willing to relieve my thoughts by supposing if it were so I might at least have a Letter from S. H. But though I know not your present Case yet I know my God and your God has you under his own Love and Care His great design for his own Glory and your and my Good is to instruct us and lead us into the Life of Resignation and Dependance singly and fully upon himself saving Light Faith and Truth is the very Lesson he is calling upon me and drawing me to own and Oh for some good Proficiency in this Learning nothing so sweet nothing so secure and nothing so compleatly advantagious I left the Lady J. this Afternoon very near in appearance to a Dissolution and A. P. breathing and waiting for her Change Happy Souls who chuse that part that shall never be taken away but abide through Death unto Life in Perfection c. I doubt not where you are but you will have the good Presence of God that is both a Sun and a Shield and withal he will with-hold no good thing from you seeing he has given you to his Son and his Son to you who will cause you to have an upright scope towards the Law of that blessed Relation which is the Condition of that Promise To the Shadow of whose Wing I commend both you and my Sister longing to hear of her Recovery if the Lord please but she is in a Fathers hand and under her Fathers care and love in Sickness and Health living and dying nothing can come amiss to those that love him and sell themselves perfectly away to him as I am persuaded she has done and can rejoyce in that blessed Bargain A Contract made by and through Christ the faithful Witness and watchful prevalent Advocate and however outward Dispensations and Providences do work they will work together for good because his Love Mercy and Truth endureth for ever where the Eye of his Favour once fixeth he never takes it off the tokens of which Favour you have through his free Grace had some taste of that thereby you may be led and helped to hope perfectly to the end and humbly rejoyce in the Hope of the Glory of God in what method soever he is pleased to act in the way of his fatherly Discipline He is omnipotently universally and continually good in himself and in the Communications of his Goodness to his People waiting in him and trusting in him To him I commend you daily and with him I leave you c. 1675. To B. D. N o 122. IN my last I acquainted you of the weakness of my Daughter Elizabeth at which time she continued with an intermixing of Revivings now and then and much refreshment as to the state of her Soul and things eternal and in the Doctor 's Opinion in some good hope of Recovery until the 5th Instant December being the Sabbath Day and then the Doctors saw that the Lord had determined otherwise and that Evening he called her to himself The loss of whose Company is not only a piercing Affliction to my self c. but lamented by divers others who had experience of that worth which God himself had graciously beautified her Soul with He is most wise Oh that he would cause me distinctly to hear his Voice herein and to improve it to the utmost use he intends it for It is your own Affliction that you are by the Providence of God held there so long at that distance from us under so many Trials of your Faith and Patience on every hand which as the Lord is pleased to help I am with my weak measure often presenting before him that he would bear up your heart and assist you as he hath hitherto done to go through the residue of your Exercise in this Pilgrimage And commending you to his Grace Strength Counsel and Blessing I remain c. 1675. To M. D. N o 123. I Know you are with loving Friends and in the hands and care of a gracious Father Endeavour to refresh your Soul in the thoughts of him and his dear Son and in the Promise that all shall work together for good to you for he is faithful that promised and his ways have been and will be Mercy and Truth towards you Love him believe him and be careful in nothing but how to please him and say Shall not I drink of the Cup my Father gives c. Hitherto the Lord hath kept me and I want nothing more than his sanctifying and gracicious Presence with me all along Travelling work doth greatly disorder my thoughts as to that savoury Composedness which I long for My poor Soul greatly suffers by the toilsomness of Travel yet still The Lord is good and his Mercy endureth for ever 1676. To J. L. N o 124. Some years have now passed without the Intercourse of any Letter between us I should be glad our old Acquaintance might not quite die while we live and continue here How 't is with you I know not but for my own part I have and do pass my Pilgrimage here thorow a Thorny Wilderness of Cares Difficulties and Temptations all along and do expect no other till I leave my sinful Nature and a dark defiled World behind me for I have abundant daily proof that this lower State is not my Rest but I wait and hope for that Rest which remaineth I am stricken in Years being now in the 64th Year of my Age and through the Riches of free Grace and that alone sailing towards the end
when he joyned with others in Prayer he seldom was seen or heard to stir as accounting it would be matter of disturbance And he would be sure as to his own particular to use no higher Voice in Prayer than was meerly necessary for those that were present and joyned with him in the same Duty often signifying his dislike of such a raised Voice in Prayer as might be distinctly heard any further than that Room or place where those that joyned in Prayer were assembled Also except the Case was extraordinary he did not approve of making long Prayers but rather more frequent especially in and with a Family lest some other necessary Duties might be omitted or the time that ought to be spent about them abridged and more particularly at Nights that Family-Duties should be more concise lest through weariness Servants and others should be overtaken with Sleep And he said that The reason why many make long Prayers and multiplied words was that they doubted God did not hear them and therefore they would pray the more thinking that by much speaking something might take with God And he further said that As Burnt-Offerings and Sacrifices of old were not regarded any further than they typified Christ so God delights not in the outward Carnal Performance of Religious Duties nor in any thing performed only by the Abilities of the Outward Man And that Prayer should be the holding of the Promise in the one hand and the Petition in the other That our words should be few with a still inward Composure of Mind and Spirit in the Duty And that We often come before the Lord furnished with words when the power of Faith and of the Spirit is wanting And that we never pray with delight until we believe that our Prayers are heard and will be answered which we put up to God in the Name of Christ according to his Will And that without a personal Interest in Christ there is no Approach unto God If our persons be not in him it would be in vain to seek him for we could never come at him were not our persons united to him And as to his own experience he said Sometimes I find I am exceeding heartless in Duty that I go unto it as one altogether dead yet being convinced it is my duty I speak the words in Prayer and doubtless such words where there is a striving of the Spirit against the Flesh to overcome that Indisposedness they are prevalent with God though we may not account them so He was so often and frequent His secret Devotions both Day and Night in his Converse with God that his Life was no other but a constant Walking with him In his Family he so wisely behaved His Family-Government himself in his Discipline and by his grave sweet and pious Carriage that all under his Roof did both reverence and love him And his endeavour and care was if it were possible to receive and retain none in his House but such as truly feared God And if it happened at any time that any Servants proved bad he would turn them off so soon as he could but yet always at their parting by his Prayers for them his Counsel Advice and Liberality to them none such went from him but at their departure did or might have carried with them a self-condemning Conviction of his Goodness and their own Folly He also used to Catechise his Servants on certain days of the Week so far as other important Affairs and his natural Constitution of Body would permit His daily Family-Duties were His Family-Duties in this method performed First he prayed before the reading of God's Word which was observed to be to this effect That God would favour us with his Presence in our Approaches to him and make us sensible we have to do with him who is the living God and with his Word as a living Word That it might not be as a dry Well as a dead Letter nor our hearts dead in the perusal of it but that it might come as Water on a thirsty Ground and we made fat with the fatness of it our Souls being capacitated to suck in its sweetness that we might have some sweet sense of his Holiness and our Relation to him and that put forwards in the use of the Word and Prayer That God would cloath his Word with Almightiness causing his Arm to be unbared and his Truths to be revealed that they might be a bright Lamp to our Feet and a Light to our Paths That all his Divine Dictates be taken in with all greediness that thence Vertue might flow out and enter into our hearts and be the very Operation of God upon our Souls and his Power unto our Salvation That God would consult his own Grace that we might have his Presence both in the Word and in our hearts in an efficacious way causing it kindly to operate That some spiritual Grace might drop down unto us and that the Word being every whit of it spiritual might spiritualize our hearts and influence them to an Obediential Compliance with his whole Will therein revealed That he would cause it to take hold of our hearts that they might be bowed down broken and healed by its powerful vertue and efficacy making us to delight therein and that through Christ we might be a delight unto himself That God would quicken and enlighten us and cause his Word to come with Power and Life That we might behold his Glory and Majesty shining in every part of his Word And as God had put an Almightiness in it so he would command the Majesty and Authority of it to bear in with an exceeding weight upon our hearts and make it Almighty in all its efficacious Actings And that the Vital Power of his Spirit might cleanse lead and teach us in the way everlasting And that the Word might be as an Instrument and Means in the hand of his Spirit to do all this for us and in us c. And in the reading of the Word he would usually spend a little time in speaking to the most remarkable Heads therein contained improving it for the Instruction and Edification of himself and Family And after that he closed the Morning Exercise with solemn Prayer And his Evening Exercise was first Prayer for a Blessing on the Word to be read after which he read a Chapter and then concluded with Prayer For the right understanding His Directions for understanding the Word and profiting by it of Scripture-Truths his Counsel was that we should compare spiritual things with spiritual which is discerningly to suit the way and method of Utterance in such a spiritual Simplicity as may best agree with the nature of the spiritual Mystery of the Gospel and not to speak spiritual things carnally in the Wisdom of the Flesh And that we can never profit by the Word heard or read until we receive it and take it up as a Message from the Lord to our Souls
made ours Ah there is very little Christianity in the World I would be for God while I live and for Heaven when I die Mine own strength never did me good Faith abhors all manner of Aid that Flesh and Blood can give It undoes a poor Creature in a saving manner There is a holy venturing on God Little do we think how kindly God takes it when we throw our selves upon him such a venturous Soul is always acceptable to him Oh for some awakening Visit from Heaven that may alarm us out of our selves into the City of Refuge before we are benighted He also prayed That the Lord would come into us with Triumph and trample down whatever is opposite to the Purity of his Nature in our Souls And in regard all our mischief ariseth from the unmortifiedness of our Wills and our Sores and Wounds and the grieving of God's Spirit is caused by a sinful Indulgence towards them and the exercise of our faith love and all other Graces is suspended when we are lead Captive by them that therefore the Lord would save us from a selfish fleshly Will and divorce us wholly from it and then when we come to die the separation of the Soul from the Body will be but a small thing to us His Thankfulness to and Blessing His Thankfulness to God with Praise and Blessing of God was observed to be his continual Exercise He was not known at any time to murmur under the sharpest Trials but would evermorre be justifying God praising and speaking well of his Name and persuading others to do the like And he greatly delighted to praise God in singing of Psalms especially on the Lord's Day and he much bewailed and blamed the great neglect of it in this present Age. He had a great Esteem and Veneration His Reverence towards Superiors for Authority and Government as being a Divine Ordinance and did highly disapprove and condemn those who did manifest the least Contempt thereof And would pray for the Supream Powers according to Scripture-Rule His Thoughts and Meditations His Meditations on Death were much on his last Change And thereupon he would frequently take occasion to speak something concerning Death to awaken both himself and others to a due and serious Preparation for it in such Sayings as these That we are shortly to remove hence take our flight when the Volume of the Book will be closed up and the Ministration of Grace will be at an end There must now be through work in giving away our selves to God else 't will be a dismal day when we come to die Death will make us to have other manner of thoughts of things than we have now Death will represent things in other Colours 't will stretch every Vein assuredly We should live always as those that have hope towards God when they die and that are ready every day to step out of one World into another That such a flying to Christ as is accompanied with a Resignation of our Wills to his Will is the best Preparative for our Change When I am going to leave the Body if I have not an Ark to fly unto I must perish in the Water We are going to live with Spirits where will be no body at all to converse with and what a Life is that Let us then always follow the Leading and Conduct of the Spirit here We should by Sympathy as much as we may die with every one that dies and that would make us serious Christians We must shortly leave this World and because we are not willing to part with it God tears it off that himself may be all in all We are lanching out of the World apace and our last Change is near only I would not have it come as an unexpected Surprize God did not deliver the Martyrs of old but by Death and so he may do by us And what a wretched frame of heart have we that we are so easily satisfied to leave some things relating to our greatest Concern always undone Some little something as we account it still to do But when we come to die and to leave the World how will that swell at such an hour I know no Terror greater than for a Man to go out of the World out of God and out of Christ and yet the most do so And when at that time he was answered by a Person present Your Case is not so he replied It is an amazing Mercy I am wonderfully saved And he further said Time of Health is the Opportunity The great things of the Souls Interest in Sickness or on a dying Bed is a bad time to manage He lived much in an Exercise His Prospect of Glory of Faith upon the Glory of the future State which was a wonderful Support and Comfort to his Spirit and he did continually take in large Views and Prospects of it Whence he was observed to say before his last Sickness That he had such an IDEA of the Glory of Heaven that he thought he could furnish a Book with fit Matter on that Glorious Subject And as he lived in all manner His exemplary Carriage at his death of Conversation holily so he finished his Course and died triumphantly Which fully appears in his last Speeches and Prayers Continuing in a lively and vigorous Exercise of Spiritual and Heavenly Graces especially Faith Hope Patience Self-Resignation full Assurance and Longing to be with the Lord to the last period of his Life when Grace issued in Glory and an abundant Entrance was ministred to him into the everlasting Kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ A PRACTICAL DISCOURSE OF THE Nature Means and Method OF SALVATION Isaiah 45. 17. But Israel shall be saved in the Lord. THE poor Dove being sent abroad and gliding over the great Flood at last found an Olive Branch and returned to the Ark. In like manner my confused thoughts have soared hither and thither over the face of that great deep which the first Apostacy drowned Mankind in and having turned over the Scriptures hoping thence to receive some news after such a dreadful Shipwrack this Scripture comes flying with an Olive Branch in its mouth Saved in the Lord the first word keeps from fainting till the next word comes in and shews the nature of the deliverance the certainty and the manner of it the first word like Ahimaaz says 2 Sam. 18. 28. All is well but Cushi declares the matter and how 't is accomplished Salvation plainly asserted is gladsome news but lest so weighty a business should be mistaken and that the understanding might the more be convinced the means by which 't is obtained and the hand from whence 't is procured is drawn forth In the Lord as delightful a sentence to a sinner as that which Belshazzar saw was terrible to him that made his Joynts to tremble but this makes the lame to leap as an Hart this makes the Wilderness to blossom as a Rose Saved The
them and from every part of his Resignation sends forth his Spirit to work Resignation also in them according to the measure of his own Gift in every part of his mystical Body by virtue of that Union to which he hath called them with himself and herein lies the ground and foundation of a Believer's holy Resignation to God As for the Properties of this holy Properties of Resignation Resignation there is a notion of weakness and subjection in the Resigned and of Power and Dominion in the Person to whom Resignation is made There is also an Alienation of some proper and private Interest and a change thereof into the Interest of another And so it is in the Resignation of the Soul to God The Soul being sensible of its own inability bequeaths it self to the Almighty Redeemer and doth subject it self to the Rules of his Dominion as the Clay to the hand of the Potter and so every Nerve of the Soul is loosed and lies down at the Will and Disposure of the Lord to do as it seemeth good unto him and so the Soul ceaseth from its own private Interest and submits it self to the Merit Mercy and Laws of the Mediator to be dieted cloathed and employed by him only and lives no longer by the Life of his own hand Isa 57. 10. Hos 14. 3. Now he stretcheth forth his hands and another girds him and leads him whither his fleshly Reason would not he knows never a step of his way but as the Word and Spirit guides him Isa 42. 16. he dares not say his Sins are his own nor his Righteousness his own but as Christ in the Gospel directs and suffers him to think and speak he can neither accuse nor excuse himself neither judge nor acquit himself any otherwise than as he who bought him will allow and give his consent Numb 30. 7 8. because he is now uuder the Dominion and Interest of another and is no longer his own but married to him who was raised from the dead Resignation is a free Act and is managed in the Will aiming to prevent a greater Evil or obtain a greater Good and therefore carries some content and delight with it and which is so much the more increased as the Power Authority and Faithfulness of the Person resigned to is great and sure so is it with a Believer's Resignation to God in Jesus Christ every glimpse of his infinite Power Truth and Mercy redounds to the increase of a Believer's refreshment because he hath a Right therein by Resignation thereunto in the Person of Jesus Christ and it eyes his Person in all the Worth Perfection and Excellency thereof in such a way of propriety therein that it affecteth the heart and makes way for the influence of that worth to enter upon the Mind and Affections and so renders it active according to the Mind of Christ and Spirit of the Gospel to obey believe and live upon that Mind of Christ represented to the Understanding improving his Worth by a sanctified Application to every part of the New Man as a holy Oyl sinking into every Faculty of the Soul and naturally inclining it to every Exercise of that new State to which it is begotten and brought forth by a spiritual Resignation The blessed Privileges which arise from hence are innumerable as God Privileges of Resignation to whom the Resignment is made is unmeasurable and infinite The Soul of a resigning Believer enters into Purity Establishment Protection Peace Love Liberty Boldness Satisfaction and Joy in the Holy Spirit and gains an entrance abundantly into the Kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ As a Stick of Wood cast into the fire is changed into the property of Purity that fire so the casting of the Soul into the Blood of the immaculate Lamb abides no longer filthy but spotless through the price and preciousness of that Blood the Spirit of which Blood removes the Conscience and private owning of Guilt and transfers it into the Laver of Christ's Satisfaction and comes forth cloathed with Pardon Righteousness and Acceptation in the sight of God the righteous Judge who has constituted a Satisfaction to himself by such a method that his Mercy to a Sinner might be an Act of Righteousness to Jesus Christ the Mediator and that by Resignation to Christ a Believer might enjoy it in enjoying Christ whose nature is also shed abroad in the heart by the washing of the new Birth through the Word of his Grace to mortifie and cleanse the heart as a Seal of Implantation into the perfect Righteousness and Acceptation of his Person who bought it with his Blood Gal. 2. 20. 1 Joh. 1. 9. Which Resignation gives Establishment by engaging him who Establishment bears up the Pillars of the Earth to bear a poor sinner's weight and keep it from reeling Resignation doth incorporate a Believer into the very Rock of Ages it conveyeth a Sinner through the Word of Free Grace and Power clean from his own sin and gives it an Arrival in the very Breast of Christ where it abides without sin or change 1 Joh. 3. 6. Though sin remain in the natural Man and dwells with Humane Flesh through the whole Circuit of the first Adam's state yet Faith rejoyns the Soul into the second Adam who is wholly pure as the first Adam is wholly sinful So that a sinner in coming to him resigns himself up from perfect sin to perfect purity The Body of Christ as it is mystically below remains for a season under the washing of the Word but as it is mystically married to Christ risen from the Dead and sitting at the Right Hand of God with him 't is pure as the Sun in its brightness and established for ever above all shaking storms of the lower Region whether it be Guilt Change or Danger Resignation doth naturally claim Protection as appears in the case of Protection the Gibeonites Josh 10. 4 5 6. Charity and Pity would induce a noble Mind to help the distressed though there were no propriety of the distressed to move such a noble Mind It were cruelty to suffer a Neighbour's Ox to lie in the Ditch without some real willingness to help it out but Resignation gives a propriety in the Resigned to the person to whom the Resignment is made and therefore Christ owns the cherishing and protection of a resigning Soul upon the account of Conjugal Propriety Ephes 5. 29. No man ever yet hated his own flesh and not only protecteth but nourisheth it viz. as Christ the Church This Propriety makes every Branch of the Wants Griefs Burdens or Dangers that every resigning Believer has to be Christ's Concernment as truly and as much for the nature of them as the Salvation of all the Elect for which he came into the World and died His Salvation reacheth into every Crevice of their need He saveth to the utmost Heb. 7. 25. which saving Protection stands fitted to a resigned Soul as
very black and very polluted through my natural pollution and daily infirmity yet through the savour of thy Ointments O precious ever-living ever-interceding Christ let me now be a sweet savour in thy Nostrils and pleasant in thy sight and in the sight of thine and my Father and let me be breathed upon day and night by the Spirit of the Father and the Son that I may now go out about thy work with joy and be led forth by thee with Peace and renewed Testimonies of thy Help and Presence Let the Mountains and Hills break forth before me into singing and all the Trees of the Field clap their hands for joy Glory be to God on high on earth peace because the good Will of God has stooped to such a Worm as I. Instead of the Thorn now let there be a Firr Tree instead of the Bryar a Myrtle Tree let Righteousness and Conformity to thy Will prosper in my Soul as an everlasting sign of this Covenant that it shall never be cut off nor broken What am I O Lord of Heaven and Earth that thou hast brought me hitherto Stablish thy covenant to thy servant as the sure mercies of David for ever And seeing I do now rest in this blessed Covenant leaning upon thee my dearly Beloved let me never nourish halting Enquiries after these sacred Vows to the most high God Let me never devour and destroy this sacred Bond and so turn this present and holy design and inviolable Tie into a Snare Take this Burthen upon thy Sholders O Rock of Ages and let this Covenant and my personal Infirmity also be perpetually before thy eyes to make good thy Covenant upon all occasions and let thy everlasting Arms be always under me to keep my seet from falling To this Covenant with my God and to these my Supplications Confessions and Vows in the name of him who hath called me into this Liberty through the Blood of the Mediator and my dear Redeemer which I declare to be my Act and Deed through his Grace never to be reversed and that it may stand as a Mount and sure Witness all the days of my life that I have at this time and this Evening solemnly and with a sincere aim and full purpose of heart unfained consent and joyful satisfaction laid hold on the Covenant of Grace as my own interest relying on my Mediator's help and strength to see it all performed both on behalf of my God and me and into whose hand I leave it who knows the meaning of his own Spirit To this Covenant I say viz. the whole substance thereof and all the expostulations and desires concerning the same with some faith in fear of love to and hope towards him who alone worketh in me to will and to do according to his good pleasure according to that measure which I have received with a trembling joy I consent and do cast my self into his Arms and subscribe it with my own hand never to be revoked Henry Dorney And seeing this is the accepted The Soul explains its Engagement time in which God hath heard me and a day of Salvation in which he hath succoured me I would yet further put on the Bonds of this glorious Freedom as my Robe for ever and further declare that as my God has often repeated the Kernel of his gracious Covenant sometimes in reference to the time to come Ezek. 11. 20. and 36. 38. sometimes in reference to the time present Isa 43. 3 5. Ezek. 34. 30. sometimes speaking of his people Jer. 24. 7. and sometimes speaking to his people Jer. 30. 22. in all which he appears as one setting forth his unlimited Purpose of good things with variety of Illustration and ground of Assurance to all his Confederate People leading them forth to a plentiful way of righteous and abundant application thereof to themselves and for their use in all cases for ever I do also declare that my scope and sense in this my covenanting with God is that through his strength I will disown all rebellings and repinings against his threatnings reproofs and chastisements and that I will disown the stifling of any of his convictions because they are dispensations of his Grace and means whereby to partake more and more of his Holiness Heb. 12. 5 6 10. My scope and sence further is that my heart shall lie open to all the Commands of my God and that I will own them as my Heritage for ever Psal 119. 6 111. that they shall be my joy and delight and love whatever they require Psal 119. 97 111. and that because they are his good pleasure and because I account his Rebukes of all sorts and the Commands of all sorts to be the Representations and Beams of his Righteousness and Holiness Psal 119. 75. Jer. 12. 1. 1 Joh. 2. 29. and the very Rays also of the Covenant of his Grace Psal 119. 75. Here is more work for thee O my blessed Surety thy Grace must needs uphold me in all parts of my duty and perfect that which concerneth me I ground my Promise upon thine Isa 25. 4. Joel 3. 16. I had not durst to have promised these things if thou hadst not first promised to do all my Works in me and for me Isa 26. 12. Psal 57. 2. 1 Thes 5. 24. Put on strength O Arm of the Lord let not thy Name be polluted and my boasting in thee turn to thy Reproach Remember thou art all my strength and life For this end I would multiply all the Commands of God in my eye that under my impossibility of Performance through that contradiction and infirmity that is in my flesh I might be swayed by the spirit of Faith into the perfection of Strength and be able to do all things in Christ who strengthneth me and answereth for me Of all the thousands of God's Commands he never required me to do any of them with my own Arm as the Obedience in which he delights but that I should act in strength every moment received from Christ and so work my Works in God all the days of my life Reveal to thy Covenant-servant O Lord that strength which thou allowest me that I may know where it lies and how to derive it to my self for thy work and service according to the scope of this Covenant which at thy gracious Call I offer up my self unto How dost thou necessitate me to thy Yoke and allure me by a gracious violence of Necessity to delight in having my hands and heart tied with the heart-strings of thy love to thy self in this golden Covenant inextricably and for ever Take me O dearly beloved of my Soul nearer and nearer to thy self till all the shadows be gone that then I may behold thy Face and be satisfied with thy Image Oh how soon am I now dazled from a pure and diligent watchfulness how many precious Minutes do slide away from me Sometimes Food is my Snare and sometimes Abstinence is so too sometimes
Relation to him Ezek. 16. 38. he bare his own guilt before with distraction and horrour now Christ bears it from him before his very eyes and melts his heart into remorse at the sight of such a spectacle Zach. 12. 10. Ten thousand Rivers of Oyl could not expiate one Sin before but now they all pass away as a Cloud driven before the Wind and efficacy of the one Sacrifice of Christ to whom and to which by faith he is united his sins made him wander still farther and farther from God before now they are made contrary to their own nature to scourge him into the fresh Application of Jesus Christ by whom he draws near to God Psal 89. 30 31. 1 Pet. 3. 18. in all his Affliction he was alone before now Christ is his Partner Isa 63. 9. Christ is truly touched with his Calamities Zach. 1. 12. his smart is as the pricking of the Apple of Christ's Eye Zach. 2. 8. As for Losses in temporal things they were before Judgments upon him they are now gracious Trials of his faith and patience and means of purging him and drawing him into a nearer reliance on the Heir of all things So that his Losses and Crosses do not now tend to undo him but to awaken and transform him 1 Sam. 30. 6. in the midst of his fears he is not forsaken 2 Cor. 4. 9. but through this Union with Christ he is still in safe hands Psal 27. 1. Isa 43. 2. Dan. 3. 17 18 25. Temptations of Satan and his fury cannot destroy him because the Prince of Life to whom a renewed person is united has cast out the Prince of this World and tempers his poysonous Temptations into a phisical Potion curbing noxious humours in order to health Joh. 12. 31. working the Soul to more Humility Faith Prayer and patient Recumbency on God and Contentment in him 2 Cor. 12. 7 8 9 10. The meer civil Actions of such a person though the same still in themselves yet in respect of the change of the Agent they have some different Consideration otherwise than they had before He sets about them with other motives other dispositions and other ends than he had before which appears in that although the thing be done or spoken never so well to the contentment of others yet if Christ to whom this new Creature is united be not served with singleness of heart therein this renewed Soul akes as much as if the Action it self had been done never so much amiss And whence comes this smiting of heart but from this Union with God in Jesus Christ 2 Sam. 24. 10. in that the proper sway and tendency of such Convictions do bring the Soul still nearer and nearer to God through Jesus Christ which gives a spiritual Discovery of the unseen and living Breath and Pulse of this Union Ezek. 20. 37. And this seems to have relation to that expression used by the Lord to his people of old The quarrel of my Covenant Levit. 26. 25. threatning to punish them for their sins as they were contrary not only to the Law of Righteousness but also contrary to the Law of Covenant-Relation Yea all the Labours Anxieties and solicitous Exigents in the affairs and business of a renewed person do run along through the Sympathy of Christ and by reason of this near Union cannot but be Copartner therein and looks to it that one way or other the incumbrance shall usher in advantage he condescends to be as one weak with them that are weak as one troubled with them who are troubled that he may discipline the Grace and exercise the Faith of his people whereby he glides them along into some unavoidable necessity of Resignation of themselves and their Cares into the Arms of his divine Power and so ripens in them the Application of this Union betwixt him and them in their hearts And his design being to bring his People as a chast Virgin to himself he aims rather at the carrying on of that drift than at the answering the natural desires of his people about Ease or Deliverance any otherwise than as may suit with that end of his in making of them partakers of his holiness and whispers secretly into their ear the Servant is not to be above his Master I trod the dirty and toilsome way before you and am treading over again every step of it with you and in you you must be conformable to my Death and shall be conformable to my Resurrection Come along with me and your burthens shall not break you because it cannot break me your own projects may fail but in me you are Heirs of Blessing and Deliverance and shall not go without it Heb. 6. 15. I will give you rest Matth. 11. 28. He relieved not his own Body against the Treachery of Judas and the Company that came to apprehend him although he was the Omnipotent God and had all Power in his hands because it suited not with the design of Man's Redemption and as it fared with that Body of his that was in personal Union with the Godhead so doth it fare in some proportion with each Member of his mystical Body Their burthens and perplexities do not at all import that his hand is shortned or that he is really absent or had forgotten them no more than his Divine Nature could be separated from the Humane Nature when the stress of his sorrow made him cry out My God my God Why hast thou forsaken me As that Union carried him through so will this Union carry through his Members also It being now about three years since that God was pleased to cast Some Considerations in order to the fresh Application and Improvement of this Grace of Vnion with God in Christ the aforesaid Meditations into my heart and since that time having been for a season a Stranger in a strange Land beyond the Sea and there passed through a dark Vale of Privation and Distance from those Ordinances and that Society which I formerly enjoyed and having there also layen in the Shadow of Death through a long and lingring Sickness of my Body and being now some Months past returned back to my own Native Country where the good hand of God which never left me quite desolate caused me to review the Solemn Covenant which through his Grace I entred into the 30th December 1660. which Covenant being yesterday renewed and having therein solemnly given up my self again to the Lord and accepted of him in the Tenders of his Grace to be my God and Saviour and to own him in all the Relations of his condescending Grace and Love and also to submit willingly to his blessed Yoke Rule and Will expressed by his Spirit in his Word I find still much longing in my Soul to know him more inwardly that I might the more enjoy him and be the more serviceable to him and to that purpose having perused over again the foregoing Meditations concerning the Union between God and all and every
then I must stop that I may adventure to cast my self before him who has the Golden Scepter in his hand before I go any further who knows but that he will reach it forth and I shall find favour in his sight I come to thee O Lord. 3. This Union it self which I 'T is only and wholly of God's Free Grace would come at and actually live in is beyond and indeed another thing than the Notion of it 'T is the voluntary and delightful Captivity of my Will and Affections through the Knowledge of him who has called me to this Glory and Vertue it is my true Dwelling-place the very Foundation of my Rest and Repose the Palace of my Triumph the very Spring and Rise of Self-abhorring which makes Self-loathing metalsom and vigorous by issuing it self into the Soul's Participation of the Purity Light and Strength of the Divine Nature and into a sincere open-hearted Resignation thereunto It is begun and carried on wholly by the Free Grace of God it sprang from his electing and predestinating Favour who worketh it according to the Counsel of his own Will Ephes 1. 4 10 11. Rom. 8. 29. 'T is the scope of his free and gracious Covenant I will be your God and you shall be my people The actual In-stating of my Soul into it ariseth from the free Call of God 1 Cor. 1. 9. The overcoming and destroying all difficulties that may obstruct it is throughly managed in the Person of Christ who has made both one and died to bring me to God As for the Application and Enjoyment of this Union-state his Prayer Joh 17. 21. and Promise Joh. 14. 20. do stand in force day and night without ceasing to obtain it for me and effect it in me His Blood has confirmed the Covenant for it and has put into it the vertue and force of a Will and Testament which cannot be disannulled Joh. 17. Luk. 22. 20. compared with 1 Pet. 3. 18. and Heb. 9. 17. and the Manifestation of this is only by his Word and Spirit proclaiming and testifying this good Will of God to Men 1 Joh. 3. 24. whereby he doth effectually bring in this Reconciliation 2 Cor. 5. 8 9. and effecteth Union thereupon 1 Cor. 6. 20. Yea are bought with a price therefore glorifie God in your body and in your spirit which are Gods So that I am wholly God's Workmanship who has ordained this Union and created me in Christ for it I believe Lord help my Unbelief How little do I see How little do I taste and applyingly possess this bottomless Privilege which the glorious Angels desire to look into 4. Having considered the Purity Improve then by Meditation of this Union and the Inconsistency that is betwixt this Union and Guilt and unmortified sinful Pollutions as to the comfortable Application of it and also the divine Spring the free Grace and Bounty of God in creating and carrying it on into which thoughts and considerations the God of all Grace is only able to put seasoning and heart-framing force to make way for the Application of it Now O my Soul compel thy self to the serious Meditation of it 1. The Reallity of this Vnion be persuaded the matter is real It is invisible but real wondrous incomprehensible but real and true God has made thy sins thy burthen his Holiness and his new Stamp thy greatest and most deliberate desire Whence comes this but from the Spirit of Christ in whom the perfection of Enmity against Sin lies and in whom all the Treasures of Grace are laid How comes his Spirit to work an influence of the same nature in thee but as thou art taken into Union with him as a Member of his Body partaking of the vital Influences of the Head And seeing the Fulness of the Godhead dwells in him whose Spirit dwells in thee Col. 2. 9 10. and the Divine Nature of the Father Son and Spirit one and the same 1 Joh. 5. 7. thou becomest in a way of Adoption and according to the created Capacity thou art in really at present an Heir together with Christ of the Glory of God and shall rightfully through free Grace fully possess that Inheritance These are mine saith the Lord Mal. 3. 17. I am thy God in me thou shalt be saved Isa 45. 7. Thy Maker is thy Husband Isa 54. 5. What is this but Union with him Now O my Soul meditate again Am I indeed brought in by Christ to Union with God Are we no longer two but one Spirit Can such a thing be I do not doubt it but admire it What! He that made Heaven and Earth and all Men upon Earth he who is the very Life of the whole Creation he to whom Abraham Moses and David and all the Worthies of old prayed whom they served and adored who carried them through all Trials to whose Truth Wisdom Love and glorious Power they did bear witness and do still testifie it to all Ages Is he my own God Is this God really mine Is it the Word of his own Mouth I am thy God How unsearchable is this Union is he whom Simeon embraced in his Arms and said My eyes have seen thy Salvation is he mine He who wrought all those Miracles who healed Diseases cast out Devils forgave Sins on Earth is he mine He who had compassion on the Leper and healed him He who had compassion on the Multitude and fed them who spied out Nathaniel visited Zacheus raised the Dead is he mine He who preached the Gospel from Heaven who did bear my Sins in the Garden upon the Cross in his own Body who did sweat Blood and was pierced through for Sins for Sinners is he mine His Satisfaction mine His Compassion mine Those tender Bowels mine Was I then comprized in his Prayer And is this Joseph yet alive and his Nature not changed but glorified to the perfection of Power and Sympathy Is he mine and am I indeed his He who comforted his Disciples buried their Sins and Miscarriages and blessed them immediately at his Ascention and in the full warmth of his Love ascended and sate at the Right Hand of the Majesty on high where Love never ceaseth Is this and none but this the Judge whom I expect even my Lord and my God he whom Paul saw whom all the Apostles did preach who converted the Gentiles has kept alive the efficacy of his Word to this day he who is the faithful Witness is he my own He who is exalted to give Repentance and Remission of Sins is he mine to teach purge justifie and quicken me As near as the Head to the Body the Root to the Tree and Branches as near and dear as the Husband to the Wife doth he call me his own Flesh and Bones Doth he live and breath in me and I in him Oh for more Faith Reverence Thanksgiving with all manner of becoming Thoughts Words and Deeds concerning him and concerning the reality of such a Privilege Oh when
through its Union with the Soul the whole Person is called a Believer who lives by faith both in regard of its inward invisible Operation and also in moulding anew the outward and visible Conversation So that a Believer both lives by faith Heb. 10. 38. and walks by faith 2 Cor. 5. 7. not only in himself but manifestly to others by Words Rom. 1. 12. and Examples Heb. 13. 7. It s chief Seat is the Understanding and the Will Whatever it discovers And prosperous it calls in the Will to assent to working up the whole Soul to a Propensity of Resignation to the Power and Soveraignty of every divine Truth and in particular to the Enjoyment and Privilege Government and Laws of this Union-state And so it sets it self as a mighty Champion in the hand of the Lord to exercise its skill and power in the Soul And now Oh that it might be up and be doing in my Soul and so go on and prosper And Oh! that its Bow may abide in strength and the arms of its hands made strong through the hands of the mighty God of Jacob and under the influence of Divine Grace be blessed and made to go on increase be enlarged and conquer Rise up O Shield and Buckler O Arm of the Lord I have waited and do wait for thy Salvation O Lord Leave me not A DISCOURSE of GLORIFYING GOD. 1 Cor. 6. 19 20. What know ye not that your Body is the Temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you which ye have of God and ye are not your own For ye are bought with a price therefore glorifie God in your Body and in your Spirit which are God's THere are four principal things which this part of Scripture do offer to serious Meditation and Improvement viz. 1. That a true Christian is not his own 2. That he is the Lords 3. That he ought to know his renewed State 4. That his renewed Constitution does oblige him to promote the Glory of God and live up thereto in Soul and Body Not your own c. implies three things viz. 1. That naturally a Man is his own Tyrant 2. That true Christianity is more than speculative 't is a real Change of the Man You are not your own 3. That it doth mysteriously divide a Man from himself This real Alteration and mysterious Contrariety is not a natural Change but spiritual viz. the Body the Soul the Faculties of the Soul and the rational Exercise of those Faculties are still the same and yet a spiritual Change doth affect them all and passeth upon the whole Man This spiritual Change begins in the most hidden part of Man viz. the Mind and therefore Repentance is called the Change of the Mind which Change of the Mind doth influence the whole Man The Mind is said to be changed when the Spirit of God enters in and exerciseth its Soveraign Dominion of Holiness against the Usurpation of the Devil and Natural Corruption which reigned there before whereby the Mind is controlled into a willing Propensity of Subjection to the Authority of the Spirit of God against the Invasion of Sin which still retains some Haunt there as a lurking subdued Enemy called the Flesh lusting against the Spirit till it be destroyed utterly at the day of full Redemption This Dominion of the Spirit steers the natural Faculties of the Soul in their rational Exercise to new Employment and arrays them thereunto with new Habits The Understanding has a sublimer Light the Judgment a better Rule the Will and Affections a better Object better Motives and a better End viz. Spiritual So that such a person is now said not to be his own he is not under that universal Darkness Pollution and Bondage to Sin which he was conceived and born in at first that was his own natural state but he is now rescued from it and is no longer his own 1. While he was his own he taught himself by the Light of fleshly Wisdom and accounted the Gospel Foolishness 1 Cor. 1. 23. but now loaths it and being at a loss cries Lord what wouldst thou have me to do Act. 9. 6. and as they did who burnt the Books in which they learnt curious Arts before Act. 19. 19. in which lay no savour of Christ and spiritual Knowledge 2. While he was his own he ruled himself by the sight of his eyes and imagination of his heart Jer. 7. 27. by the custom and course of the World but now consults not with Flesh and Blood Gal. 1. 16. he sees his own Byass is false and his own Weights too light 3. Motives of Pleasure Profit Honour do not now draw him he was lead by his own Concupiscence but now he is dead to these and saith I have no pleasure in them 4. He designs not his own things neither Health Phil. 2. 30. nor Liberty Act. 20. 23. nor Ease 1 Cor. 11. 10. nor Safety 1 Cor. 15. 13. nor Wealth Heb. 11. 26. nor Honour nor Pleasure as Moses who refused to be Father of a great Nation Exod. 32. 10. and Esther not satisfied with having the honour and delights of being Queen when God's Honour lay at stake Yea he designs not an unworthy preservation of his own life Act. 20. 24. 5. The Spirit of carnal Comforts is gone in such an ones esteem as Esther could not endure the thoughts of her Peoples Ruin though she was at the Royal Feast and to such an one the tickling comfort of such things affect not but are as the White of an Egg yea the unnecessary Conference of such things is tastless as Meat to a sick Man and all because such an one is not his own any longer When a Man is not his own he stands invested with many privileges he has hereby a shelter 1. Against outward Afflictions they sting not their profit reacheth farther than their pain when a Man as in an extasie is not his own therefore Paul rejoyced in them 2. Persecution on the Outward Man reach not him who is not his own who is not at his own home as it was with David when Saul's Messengers came to kill him they found him not but an Image 1 Sam. 19. 16. 3. He can answer the Accusations of Guilt I am not my own and therefore my own Guilt must not stick on me 4. When Flesh and Blood demands Service he can reply I who am not my own am not Debtor to the Flesh When Sin doth vex and molest by its pollutions in the Flesh he can say What make I here I am not my own Let me go hence 5. When spiritual Pride solicits he can reply What I have is not my own 6. And against carnal Security he can say I cannot maintain my own Grace nor restore my self when fallen and therefore am to work out my Salvation with fear I am not my own 7. Against Solicitude about future Events and carking Despondency I am not at my own dispose and therefore such Anxieties are to be
of Body or Mind as are suitable to such work 3. Let not the Thoughts be inrodinately devoured in it and to that end 4. Force the heart to read and meditate the Scriptures with more seriousness and labour for an inward value thereof above any other labour or study 5. Judge not any useful Labour Work or Study to be materially evil because your inordinate Affection about it is sinful but rather regulate your desires to Moderation and a right end in what you do 6. Be contented in the measure of your Attainment 7. View the excellency of God in Christ appearing in all created Skill Excellency and Worth Strive to wind up your heart by Creature-Excellencies instantly to a more actual Enjoyment of them as his Gift only and so to himself as the Fountain of Perfection Thus have I been wrestling with a Monster bred in my own Bowels but O Captain of my Salvation breath Truth Faith Vertue and Blessing upon these Meditations or else all my labour is lost and my enquiry into my disease spent in vain Every good and perfect Gift comes down from above and therefore my eyes are to the Hills from whence comes my help Let not the Poor return ashamed of his Hope I leave my Success upon thy hands who hast redeemed me O Lord God of Truth And seeing a gracious God hath favoured me thus far to drill me along sometimes wooing sometimes reproving sometimes comforting and confirming me in the various roulings of my heart in these Meditations from time to time I would now lean upon him to make good all the movings of his Spirit in my heart and issue forth from himself through Christ by his Spirit a suitable Supply according as my daily need and proneness to decay doth require that it may be evidenced to my Soul that these Meditations how much frailty soever I have been laden with under them were not meer Humane Labour and Invention but that the Breath of the Holy Spirit hath been in some true measure present And therefore O thou who art the God of all my Hope be pleased to cause all that love to and desire after pure Union and Fellowship with thee in Christ which hath been at any time working towards thee in any of these Meditations and at any other time to be purged from my personal Guilt that cleaves to the best thing which I do And vouchsafe a Return of my desires from the Throne of Grace as far as any exercise of Spirit in me hath been acceptable in thy sight through my dear Redeemer That whether I sleep or wake the groanings of thy Spirit may be acceptable before thee day and night and though my heart be vile yet let it still be as a Garden watered by thy hand a Soul which the Lord careth for Bring me through the great Waters that one day I may be utterly and eternally delivered from every evil work inward and outward and purely serve love and glorifie thee being presented spotless through Christ among that glorious Host of the Spirits of just Men made perfect LETTERS 1638. To D. B. N o 1. YOur Letter I very gladly received and 't is no small delight to me to see that your eyes are towards Heaven and your desires to the fear of your Maker Before I was hopeful but now I am confident And being the beautiful Light of the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ hath enlightned your Soul and purified your Conscience from dead works to serve the living God seeing 't is thus fear not only be strong Be thrifty of your time exact in your course spiritual in your aim bearing about an undaunted Triumph in believing One thing among the rest not unneedful I must advise you that you set your self to pluck up your Spirits and be of a lively heart getting what necessary insight into the World you can that you may the better get within the humours of all people to understand the better how to carry your self in what condition of life soever you shall be in to your own comfort and the shunning of unnecessary Reproach or Contempt but contrarily Credit and Esteem of all even of them that are without The Exercise of Worldly Wisdom Policy Skill and utmost Endeavour must be used albeit not depended on nor the Corruptions of the World practised Something I do the rather write this way as conceiving some other Course of Life will befall you ere long than at present you are in yet still keep close to Almighty God and whereas others in their Course on Earth and creditable Conversation here do sacrifice to their Wits Boldness Contrivance and the like do you endeavour and pray that you may sacrifice to the Will Wisdom and Assistance of God in Heaven made over to you in the Merits of Christ undoubtedly The Lord be with us and grant us unearthly Hearts and Conversations whatever may hereafter betide us There is no Rock like our Rock no God like our God to him I commit my self and you for an everlasting Support 1639. To D. B. N o 2. HAving such an opportunity I could not but write you a few Lines and all that I have to say is Cast your self upon God in Jesus Christ Eat his Flesh and drink his Bloud Be with him upon the Cross be with him ascended into Heaven by the one to be discharged from the Clamours of the Law and the Guiltiness of Conscience by the other to triumph in Assurance of Victory over Sin and Sorrow This Implanting into the Son is by Faith this Life of Faith is fed by Meditation of the Mystery with Prayer and attentive Reading and Hearing with good Conference with experienced Believers and Use of the Sacraments These things I believe your heart doth ponder but we are bound to put one another in mind And next seek and strive in your Service to be laborious faithful discreet separate not the Service of Christ from the Service of your Master serve one in the other strive mightily to temper them well one with the other and then what you put your hand unto do it with all your might c. 1646. To B. J. D N o 3. I Know you are under great Suffering and what word of Comfort or Counsel to write to you I know not only this that it is of the Lord as Jonah was not to be angry you are not to be tortured with Grief That one that two Gourds are withered together Morality and Reason do plead for Patience and Content but your interest in the Maker and Heir of all things may truly argue it much more He that gave you them at first has now called them away The Giver lives though the Gift be withdrawn The Comforter is the same and the substance though the Comfort be removed and the Leaves fallen Haply your thoughts are Where are they Whither gone At rest or not Consider whose eye saw them before they were formed in the Womb the everlasting Decree had disposed of them
before they were committed to your hands leave the thought of them to the Lord whose free Love is like a mighty Deep And Oh that the Course which the Lord takes to mind us that the end of all things is at hand might powerfully dislodge our Hopes Peace and Comfort from an Earthly Rest in low transient things and fix them in him who is the Rock of Ages which we are called to do upon every hand I trust that out-stretched Hand of his will do it that at length we may know no persons according to the Flesh nor things neither Then alone in enjoying the Lord shall you and I enjoy our selves and the reality of every good thing when the shadows flee away Is not your Father better than ten Sons and his teaching Rod than their presence consider it Enquire his Will bless his Name comfort your poor Wife and do not charge God follishly Seek God's Face the more and let your Conversation mount higher and then your loss will be repayed and God will shew you his intent in this This only as a Fellow-feeler of your Cross I present unto you c. 1648. To B. J. D. N o 4. COnsidering mine own weakness and remembring you are in the same Body and withall considering that mutual Communications by Pen or Speech is required to help each other and stir up one another to the relish and practice of Christian Walking I thought fit in meer discharge of duty to represent my present thoughts to you And that I may declare more distinctly the state of my Soul to you I pass by the general Complainings and Bewailings which oftentimes arise from pretended religious Complement or carnal Sloth to a more particular Account I find the Reputation of the World doth much beguile me especially when I have to do with Men neither grosly wicked nor strictly good And I find Intimacy with these Men and in their Actions of Indifferency do plague my Soul with such coldness driness and guilt that methinks sometimes I part from them as Tamar from Amnon full of inward shame and disquiet Let me at any time go out of God's sight to act things though indifferent in their nature yet when Conscience calls for any spiritual duty or discourse methinks 't is like the voice that came to Adam in the Cool of the Day I find also a strange influence upon my heart from the ways of coveting any worldly Advantage Well was this wickedness called Idolatry for it doth importunately draw my ear and draw my eye and heart from the Lord to admire and covet after vain Enjoyments and yet I cannot say that to this day I ever wanted any good thing This I find to be both a deceiving and unprofitable Lust spoiling the comfort of my Soul and not enriching my Body nor ever adding one Cubit to my Stature Nothing doth ever make the thought of any misery miserable to me but the reflections of a betrayed heart and they stare upon me as Delilah did on Sampson when his strength was gone and the Philistins were upon him and then my Soul is as weak as Water But should I go to number up the Deceits that are within me they are innumerable only 't is some ease now and then to open the Imposthume as to God so also to good Men. I know not how far your sense of the same or other infirmities may oppress you but I know you wear about with you the same Nature as I do though I hope more enabled to strive against the Stream of Nature than I am but whatever strength you have I am sure it comes from above and indeed I must needs say and my heart rejoyceth at the mention that I am not forsaken in this Conflict my Redeemer is strong and mine infirmities are judged already and shall not afflict me for ever I am directed to a sure Remedy Psal 37. 3 4 5. and shall lay it before you if your disease be mine viz. to trust in the Lord in well doing only Delight in the Lord and commit your way to him let this Physick have its true work and the Truth of God is engaged for a Recovery Sometimes I am as it were venturing on such a Resignment as this Trusting Delighting and Committing doth signifie and methinks the very Resolution so to do as a Beam of God's Power and Love doth rejoyce my heart in hope Doubtless it is a heavenly Life to give up all our delight our trust and commit all our way unto the Lord and doubtless that is the way to fight against our Lusts with much advantage when we are got above them and in our Resignment to God have engaged him in the Quarrel I know the advantage is very great by some little sparks of it And I never knew that I got power against one Lust of heart or evil way but by being first as it were dissolved into the Lord and then appearing against it in his power When God and I am made one through Christ in opposition to my own sins and am no longer mine own but his and my faith acting through this Union then I must yea and I may say Doth the strength and snares of Temptation vanish at his appearing And happy is that Soul that appears in no other strength but his But while I am writing my heart doth accuse my Pen for hinting an Enjoyment beyond what I have I can only say this something of this I have already tasted and more I earnestly hope for as the only Remedy for a weak captivated dismayed heart I pray let me hear how it fareth with you that we may in the Lord help one another and build up one another in the most holy Faith c. 1648. To B. D. N o 5. THere is no Safety but in God no Refuge Rest or Peace but there and there it is and pity it should be elsewhere that God might still be all in all We are both in his Arms shall finish his Work and not see a day of Vexation longer than the time prefixed us And in this Confidence we are to do our work bear our burthens and not faint Our Labour will be over and our Temptations too Eternal Rest will follow the one and Incorruption the other Dear Brother farewel till next Meeting whether in this World or that to come the Will of our Father be done on us and in us c. 1649. To F. D. N o 6. I Hope there is a Power within you that will never leave purging healing convincing teaching and delivering of you till you can say the Powers the Employments the Labours of this present World are the Lords and his Christs that God is all in all to you and in you Herein lies our Interest viz. against all unworthy undervaluings of our Interest goings forth in our own Strength or Wisdom Carnal Damps of our Zeal coolings of our Intimacy with God courtings of the Creature and so being courted of the Devil in the Creature till
many times our Warmth is gone our Locks cut our Strength and Comfort departed together and then the poor Soul looks upon his Corruption and all the Engines of his Back-sliding as Amnon did on his deflowred Sister Have her out of my sight Then the Soul lies as weak as any other in an equal Line to the Men of this World but God only who raiseth the Dead for his free Grace and eternal Covenant of Love recovers this loss again restores health to the heart and makes the Soul say I was dead but am alive That a Vein of Life and Beam of Light should run through so many Eclipses and yet live and not utterly be destroyed this is the work of the Lord and it is marvellous in our eyes As there is no Calling in the World that is useful for common Good but hath its Foundation in the Wisdom Pity and Care of God towards his poor Creatures so I believe the same of yours and my desire to God for you is that you may use your Calling only as under his eye and in the wisdom and fear of the Lord c. 1649. To C. A. D. N o 7. YOur friendly and Christian Lines I received and do with you rejoyce in the happiness of your nearest Relation The happiness is the greater in that your Principles do accord as well as your Affections which renders your Condition a more lively Type of the Conjugal Interest betwixt Christ and a Believer You say your experience tells you it is good to wait on God do not forget the same experience in other cases Abound in spiritual Affections to one another as much as you can and in ingenuous Marriage-Love and Affections also but beware of that which is inordinate remembring that they that marry are to be as if they married not 1 Cor. 7. 29 c. It may be you may find new Temptations in your new Condition and God teaching you thereby If so there is still cause of Thankfulness for God has many ways in variety of Trials to teach to purge and comfort I perceive there is that within you which takes little content in high Speculations without Power I think it is no small happiness to be preserved from the vain unsavoury Profession of the times consisting more in Phrase of Words Humane Wit and Pride than Power of Religion Doubtless the ancient Path of Sincerity Humility Patience Love and Fruits of Thankfulness is the best Path for Saints to travel in waiting on God for more enlarged hearts and enlightned eyes both to know and do his Will with the more integrity Ah! the Purity and Spiritualness of the Apostles Writings and the Sermons of Christ There is no cavelling jeering but Bowels of Tenderness and awful sweet Reverence in the things of God Let your thoughts still fix there associate with the most Tender and Sincere and you shall escape the destructive Influence of that seeming religious loosness and Atheism which has I doubt cankered many a hopeful Professor As for my own part I tumble to and fro under Temptations yet reaping this fruit thereby to thirst the more after the day of Christ's Appearance and my Deliverance c. 1651. To B. D. N o 8. I Have as well by others as by your own hand understood how the change of Affairs have layen upon you The Lord I trust will bless the present Suffering to your inward Advantage The less worldly your Affections were in your Employmen the more I hope the loss is alleviated and your heart supported It is good to be industrious so that the Interest above be as the Oyl to the Wheel of all our Actions The Lord in the Interest of his free Love and Presence is able to weigh down the Scale against never so much appearing trouble and to that blessed Portion and Security I do heartily commend you 1652. To B. D. N o 9. GOd has been pleased to put us and continue us long asunder and we have had our variety of Troubles Dangers and Temptations and in regard we can come no nearer each other let us speak at a distance By the view I have made of earthly matters and earthly conditions I can say with my whole heart The best Refreshment is vexation of Spirit and if so then comes this rebuke How have I laid out my Money for that which is not Bread God has delivered me from being a burthen to my Friends and yet my Body and Soul Ah when will it once be is not given up as a Sacrifice to him only Brother I perceive so much of the unsearchable pity of the Lord to me that I know not what to do or say Oh that my heart might break into a thousand pieces and be made up again by the Spirit of Renewing What a misery is it to desire that might live which is nailed to the Cross and crucified Oh for the Newness of the Spirit to see the new Creature that old things might pass away from one end of the Soul unto the other I tremble at the mention of these words because the Power is of God and the dark design of the Lust within me labours to destroy my Interest ruine my Peace and make me unserviceable to my God to whom I am going Oh that I could in the power of my dear Saviour raise my head so high out of the misery that easily besets me as to peep forth into the fresh Air of a whole Resignment even of what I have am or do expect unto God through Christ nakedly and unreservedly You are on my heart before the Lord that you may be saved from your self and World from your fears comforts and hopes that the Kingdom of our dear Lord exalt it self exceedingly in your heart The Lord himself be your Guide to whom alone I can adventure to surrender you I am again returning from my Wives Grave into to seek mine own c. 1652. To D. H. N o 10. DEar Sister I account it my duty to hold up an Intercourse of writing to you as opportunity and time will permit as being sensible in some measure of the state of your inward Man My words have no quickning life the bodily presence of Christ himself could not do it without the Spirit much less the Pen of a sinful Worm but I will send you where this Ware is to be sold at a cheap rate if Complements of Self-preparedness for I can call it no other do not hinder Isa 55. 1. Buy Wine and Milk without Money say it over again without Money What is this the voice of your Beloved without price Is it indeed without price How hard is this one Lesson without price My Guilt can press me down but can it press him down who bears up Heaven and Earth Can my weakness hinder me from lying down There is nothing more acceptable to him as for me to lie down upon him you can never lean too hard upon your well Beloved Nothing troubles him but when you lean from
of this Opportunity provoketh me to write to you by this Bearer who has promised to see my Child I desire that as she grows in capacity you would be dropping in somewhat of spiritual things for her tender thoughts to feed upon Though I cannot at this distance see your face yet I know your Temptations in some part and your Deliverance which will in due time appear 'T is good to be carried about and disposed by the hand of the Lord 't is a blessed thing and will one day appear so to rejoyce in the pleasure of the Lord let him do with a poor Creature what he will so he make it more like himself by unselfing you from carnal desires and carnal discontents and fears and transplanting you into the power and joy of believing accounting really the offer of eternal kindness in Christ more Glory than any earthly dying comfort and certainly where the Comforts here can comfort but little the Crosses here can cross but little and shortly farewel both Let your heart plod much on the free Covenant of Grace in Christ by Prayer and Meditation and let your sins come into the same Room with you while you are on that Enquiry When I am at a dead lift then sometimes the Spirit of God takes me up as it were into the Arms of that Covenant which he made with Christ concerning me and whosoever is not a wilful Unbeliever And the very glance of that Salvation wrought by the Lord concerning which I am only to believe sets me again upon my feet I have no other task but to be willing in truth to receive it and I shall have it and if so then you and I shall be sure never to want any one good thing Evil as Evil from the Lord cannot befall us You will then see the favour of God to you in earthly seeming Frowns No such favour as to be dead to sensible Comforts and as a Stranger to earthly carnal Contents though this be tedious to Flesh and Blood yet let it more appear that our Rest is not in these things but in the ever-living God he is your Teacher and I leave you to him 1653. To J. H. N o 15. I Have received your Letter and return you thanks for your love Should I give you a Draft of my Soul it would pity you to see it did not the Mercy of God prevent you would find me in the four last Vices mentioned in Rom. 1. but blessed be the Lord that though there be a Law in my Members warring and tormenting I have in the Lord a little strength and do sometimes view deliverance I have too long had too much content in a Carnal Walking with God and have been satisfied too much in a Carnal Appearance that way There is a way to live with God in the World but it is of his own making no visible or sensible thing can contribute any thing to it and yet I cannot die to these vain helps I shall never understand the word All noted in Matth. 22. 37. till the power of the Most High doth bear it in Ah when will it once be Certainly that Grace will one day be very glorious that hath attended a poor distressed heart through the uncomfortable sights and abundant frailties of this corrupt mortal condition One pure serious true long breathed desire of Christ's appearing gives some deliverance Oh the Glory of that day when the real appearing shall be and all filthy Garments removed and every filthy smell be for ever removed also Let us be found among those that wait for Redemption and wait waking Truly Brother we cannot word out one to another what is the State Duties and Privileges of an Interest in a new Life and hope of Glory The best means the best words yea the Scriptures though not so in themselves are even deceiving to a deceived carnal heart Such a heart will turn the most spiritual things into Flesh and so feed upon them to satisfie carnal Fancy Oh that you and I could start up from fleshly Consultation and listen quietly leisurely and yet greedily and obediently to the meer dictate of the blessed Spirit in his Word Your opportunity and mine of honouring God in the World is very far spent already I desire that you be not only for God in season but out of season also Dear Brother I thought fit to give you a touch of what my poor heart desires to be wrestling in I know you mind the same thing go on therein and prosper there is no other way of Peace but this I am rude but I had rather write my heart than my invention Well Brother I thank you for your good wishes to my poor Child I trust the Lord will vouchsafe her truth of Grace and shed abroad his Mercy and Love into her heart and make it appear as her tender years will bear and manifest the same Remember me to my Sister your Wife whom I have reason also to honour for the goodness of God to her and to you I trust in her I should rejoyce to hear that some others of yours and my poor Friends had the Lord alone for their whole desire and portion I would rather remember such in my Prayers than in my Letter Remember my love to your Sister D. who is I am much assured more precious in God's eye than in her own I leave all News to the Bearer and commend the Remembrance of you to the Lord and remain c. 1654. To S. D. H. N o 16. YOu see this state here is wavering unsetled moving to and fro 'T is a wondrous thing to see how the Lord is pleased to raise up one Wave of disquiet after another to molest the publick Peace and exercise the pains and patience of his people It is no Misery but a Privilege to one that is chosen hence to be emptied from Vessel to Vessel and indeed I scarce know a greater sign of Christ's Conjugal Love than by his Providence to render all other things and Conditions here to be unlovely and undesirable for then the Affections have no where else to centre but in Christ and that makes them go out strong that way Albeit my condition speaks much visible Uncertainty as to this outward Man yet I find a mighty War within me against a free and clear Closing with the certain Riches of Glory which is in Christ in which notwithstanding I trust I have an Interest and have recieved some witness thereof There is a secret joy in the inward part of my Soul and Refreshment at the Remembrance of the Promises of the God of Truth my Rock Sometimes Hope and Desire brings me near to Christ and he to me 'T is an admirable thing to think how a Soul can at the same time be covered over with its Guilt and yet be freed and triumph over the same as removed in Christ truly perfectly and for ever yet this is the Golpel-Doctrine and Experience A Body diseased through Sin yet
Sun and therefore poor Worms are never undone though never so low Could I more actually resign up to his Will and read that Golden Line of his Love that runs within every Providence of his and in every part of his Discipline and put my Seal to it how might I triumph and say O Sin where is thy Sting O Grave where is thy Death He dasheth earthly Comforts that himself might comfort alone he suffers Corruption to swell and rage that he may appear to be the only mighty Redeemer he glorifies the Excellency of his Word by forcing the Soul thither for Refuge Brother let us be flying into this Ark his Word endures to a thousand Generations we have the same God and no other than what Abraham Isaac and Jacob Moses David and Paul had He never left a poor Supplicant nor will do it for the Spirit of Supplication is his own Breath and himself deeply concerned in all the Concernments of his People they are his and their Concernments his also Let us muse this Privilege seriously and glorifie his good Will by Faith and Thankfulness and so rejoyce in believing above hope The Lord be a hiding place to you and me never yield to let him go but let us cling fast by Faith and Hope till he cause Salvation and Light to shine forth out of Obscurity and Comfort all that mourn Glorifie God by Faith Patience and Thankfulness lose not that and you will be no loser though the day be dark the Sun is not down The times of refreshing will come to us and we to them for our Redeemer lives for ever I leave you to that God and remain c. 1661. To S. D. N o 60. THat 's the happiest Man or Woman in the World that can truly hear the voice of God in his Rod. That happy profit I press and long for and that happiness I heartily wish to your self and my Brother that as God hath made you Partners in Affliction you would endeavour to the utmost to support each others Faith and holy Patience in a stormy day Afflictions be they what they will can never make you miserable Nothing makes the Rod tedious but unwarrantable vexations of Spirit and in days of trouble that is the usual Temptation and there is no such Cure as the naked sight of God's wise disposing hand If there have been any misgiving thoughts between you about future Concernments relating to your selves and your Children as under such Surges you have met withal our frailty is very apt unto spread that infirmity before the Lord who is abundant in Pardon Mercy and Truth who can spare the Lives of the rest if he please and will not suffer the Seed of his Servants to be desolate All the Scriptures be full of Counsel and infallible grounds of Consolation yet such is our Carnality Darkness and Unbelief many times that we think the Rock cannot yield Honey and so we gage things by fleshly and worldly Observation and are apt secretly to condemn the Wisdom Goodness and Faithfulness of God before we are aware whereas the only way to find the Pearl of real advantage in the blessed Word is to lay the heart to the Word by an exercise of Faith and then roll the Soul upon the Lord though it seems to be never so much against that Sense and Reason which Flesh and Blood is always dictating to us Dear Sister I must confess I travel under a treacherous heart of mine own which is ever betraying away my Peace my Strength my Faith and Hope and that is my daily burthen but I never come before the Lord with any openness and unfeigned Resignation to him for Pardon and Succour in vain I am somewhat a Partner with you in the Temptations and Waves of a present World but cannot call it dismal so long as God doth in some measure steer my Course in any sincerity after him Let us provoke one another to this and the Storm will be over the day will break and the darksome shadows will flee away or we shall flee through or flee beyond them for faithful is he that hath promised 1661. To J. L. N o 61. IT is good to mind our Interest in Christ seriously where-ever we are that when-ever we step out of this World we may step into a better in which dwells none but righteous Inhabitants and righteous things And were it not for this hope how miserable a life would Christianity be but one foretaste of Christ makes a dismal World pleasant That made Paul and Silas sing in their Bonds and John to be ravished in the Spirit in the Isle of Patmos and truly nothing else can do it 'T is our happiness that things which are seen are only temporal but things unseen are eternal I oft think of the comfortable society I had once with you but the Kernel of that which made Society then comfortable lies still safe so long as that Promise holds Loe I am with you alway even to the end of the World I recommend you into the hands of that precious Friend and remain c. 1661. To D. S. N o 62. LEt it be your and my study still to derive mortifying Power from the Grace and Cross of him who was dead and is alive I mean the Lamb who stands before the Throne in the vertue of his own Sacrifice Rev. 5. 6. perpetually to intercede for effectuating all the ends of his Mediation to them who come to God through him Our Prayers winged with faith in Christ and fellow-feeling one of another's troubles may fly faster than Letters can and there is no fear of their miscarriage if once placed by faith in the Mediator's hand The Lord who dwells in Houses not made with hands is the Habitation of his People Let the fulness of all manner of Contentment that is on the other side Jordan so warm our hope and faith that nothing on this side may discompose And Oh that I could dwell more in the view of him who is lifted up to draw all Men to him that so these earthly Affections might be transformed and fetch satiating delight from the place where Christ sits who is even now our life I commend you to him at his Throne let us meet and make merry in the Author of Consolation and our blessed Hope 1662. To D. H. N o 63. TRuly Sister I do sometimes wonder at the sottishness of my heart that can be so affected with the Christian tender Respects of a dear Friend and yet have no more flames of Affection to the Fountain of all Love and Loveliness Methinks nothing makes any Friend truly excellent in my thoughts but Grace and the Inhabitation of Christ there And if a Beam of his Grace creates a delightful Aspect where-ever it pitches how excellent for Perfection is Jesus Christ himself Sometimes our hearts are apt to fancy Christ as if he were humoursome revengeful as if he would make the worst of things and not the better sometimes
as if he had forgotten were far off did not hear were reserved exceeding ready to take exceptions and such like whereas we may go to a poor lump of Clay where a spark of his Nature dwells and have sometimes a taste of that Affection that is scarce capable of reflecting back any such prejudices or the least shadow of them And the reason is because there is a rooted persuasion of some predominant Principle of Christian spiritual and reciprocal Love O then how seriously should we pray that our hearts might be directed into the Love of Christ and that it may be shed abroad in our hearts A Christ who loves once ever always and to the full he loveth he loved and came he loved and died he loved and proclaimed the everlasting Gospel he loves and pardons he loves and teaches he loves and reproves he loves and holds fast for ever he loves and saves When a Soul is sunk as deep as Hell in sin and filth in love he redeems that Soul as out of a Jaques and is not ashamed nor thinks it much to cleanse it again because Love constrains him All his ways not one excepted are Mercy and Truth to them that fear him He has a noble and surmounting Love not capable of Melancholy Misprision or Mistake He knew all the defects of his Spouse before he betrothed himself to her in loving Kindness and tender Mercies And he so far abhors the declining of his Love that the very beholding of any defect there inflames his heart to remove it that he may present her to himself without spot When we have any Agony against our sins doth this come from the Flesh Is it not purely the Lord's Arm What shall I say The Lord reveal himself that we may purely rejoyce in God our Maker and cling upon him in the vertue and power of his own unsearchable and endless Grace and Love I long for other Society than I can have here few Friends here and little help especially as to that Interest in which you and I are most concerned but there is a River that never dries up and a Counsellor that never fails I am yet in health and as to outward freedom as it was when I came hither first but not without some daily Exercises but my chief Adversary lurks within which God will one day destroy and all Warfare will be over Let us pray to him for each other for it is not in vain 1662. To B. D. N o 64. AS for all things that relate to this and the next Life the Lord help you and I and all his People fully to commit our selves into the hands of GOd in the name and interest of Christ who is Lord of Quick and Dead He who hath said In nothing be careful Cast your burthen on the Lord and that All things shall turn for good to them that love him and he that hath said I will never leave you nor forsake you certainly he cannot forget his own Word Oh that we had Faith to believe it Let the great business of Faith be our work every day and night I leave you to him who is able to teach help and save c. 1662. To T. N. N o 65. DEar Sir However it goes with you I trust you have no reason to count your self alone whilst so good a Friend hath said I will be with you in the fire and water When we are at any plunge then is a time to act Scripture-Reason and not worldly Reason and draw such Conclusions in reference to Soul and Body as the Wisdom and Truth of God doth teach The Lord make his Furnace to be purifying at this day Some in one kind some in another have their various Trials but the Father of Mercies doth govern the matter so that at the Close it shall be well with the Righteous Let us labour with might and main to keep up good thoughts of God and the glory of our Interest in him Though the Heaven and Earth do shake the sense of his Covenant cannot change his Son cannot be dethroned nor the Promises of his Grace and Presence turn into the Blood of a dead Man Clouds may darken the Sun as to us but they can never diminish the natural light of the Sun nor stop its Course The Sun is as nigh the Earth when Clouds do interpose as it was before and our dear Lord is now as near his afflicted ones as when the Branch of earthly things was never so green in their hands Faith Repentance Love to the Lord Jesus are glorious Ornaments for a Pilgrim travelling towards that City that hath Foundations Sir I know not how it fares with you but I doubt not but it goes well For can any dealings of an infinite wise God a faithful and gracious Father be amiss seeing he has promised and will not fail to give Grace and Glory and will with-hold no good thing from them that fear him Let us not deny his Truth by Unbelief nor his Love by a lowring Dispondency of heart however the Waves rise and swell he is above them and the great Redemption is near 1662. To B. D. N o 66. YOur welfare is amongst the chiefest of my desires in this World and if the Afflictive Providence of God doth still remain be not dismayed yea if it increaseth let not a disponding heart put the Lie upon any Promise God hath made he is not a cruel Father his Bowels are tender but our misgiving hearts are they that are apt to plunge us Had we more dexterity in believing we might steer a comfortable Course when all sight of dry Land is out of sight And such a Faith is God's Gift who has promised us every good thing Let us both go to the Creator of the ends of the Earth for Faith and by Faith wait for more Faith that we may ride out the Storm and not be ashamed or wearied out under the Cross How 't is with you I know not but I have much confidence you are in as safe hands and in the bosom of as tender love as ever did shine upon you in the days of more earthly fulness and that the gracious Goodness of God and his unsensible Wisdom has ordered this present state of Affairs to exercise you withal One half hours time beyond Mortality will make amends for all and we are hastening to it and I trust at present freely entitled to the unalterable love of God who will never leave nor forsake to pity and succour the Off-spring of his own Grace If the Lord favour me with his Counsel and give me the Shield of his Presence I shall not be at a loss I dare not give way to hard thoughts of him but rather to covet after a greater freedom of Resignation to his sweet pleasure 1662. To B. D. N o 67. I Am affected with your trouble and yet comforted in your faith and comfort But who makes Rivers run in the Desart knows how to refresh the dry
Ground When we hear News that our Troubles will one day expire there is some refreshment with it and not a little support the while But Oh for ever blessed be that glorious Hope that not only outward Troubles but Sin also shall be no more yea and that while we are striving and toiling under a Body of Sin we are yet stated in the second Adam brought over from a state of Sin to a present state of Righteousness Acceptation and Blessing This is the Crown and Conquest of Faith Hope and Consolation All these things will I give yea said the Tempter if thou wilt fall down and worship me Ah cursed and deceitful Proffer Let my Portion and yours be found still and for ever in a crucified risen Christ If he loved us when he washed us in his own Blood then no slaying Providences can separate from the same Love so that we may musing the matter aright say he loved me when he hurried me hither and thither when he brake my Bones emptied me from Vessel to Vessel made me as the Mire of the Street Yet his Blessing once bequeathed can never be revoked nor his eternal Love change Though his Paths are in the Deep and his Ways and Judgments past finding out while he maintains in our Souls a Cry after him which is the voice of his own Spirit interceding in us he hath not forgotten to be gracious nor caused his Bowels to cease from yearning toward us Sin only makes outward Burthens intollerable Outward Troubles declare the venom of Sin and tends to open the ear to instruct us and so both of them sends the Souls of the Redeemed to the Atonement of Christ's Blood for Healing and into his Bosom for Refuge Certainly Brother his Promises are as good now as they were before the Storm rose upon us and the Covenant of Grace and Love and Good Will smiles as much as ever and when the Cloud is blown over and gone we shall see it Now to justifie God's truth and submit to his wise hand to maintain good and honourable thoughts of him and all his dealings when so many things from without and also from within do war against it this is like the faith of God's Elect and doth in some blessed measure betoken the knowledge of what God is in himself and what he is eternally to us and that the Seed of God remaineth in us I leave you in his hand and to strive under your Affairs as he shall give you Wisdom and Strength Lord purge and heal us he will do it and all will be well Let us hold on to pray for each other for the Vision will speak c. Yours to love and live with you in the Lord c. 1662. To P. D. N o 68. I Have no other thing to recommend to you but this that as you have already found this present World to be a slippery Foundation so beware how you lay the whole stress of your Expectation upon it or the persons in it A thirsty Man may dream that he drinketh yet when he awakes he may faint The drink of a Dream gives not nourishment 't is only the Water of Life issuing from the Rock Christ that is satisfying and healing He that drinks thereof shall never thirst Frowns and favours of Men are some of the strongest Engines the Devil has to shake a Soul from simple and single hearted following of the Lamb and besides them the treachery of our carnal and unbelieving hearts is ever watching to betray our poor Souls into a dis-relish of the pure paths of Life dulling the edge of Zeal and blinding the eye from beholding the Excellency that lies in the Person of Christ crucified and risen and the excellent Grace that has shone from Heaven for recovering poor Sinners out of the Snare of the Devil So that you and I have need to be much attending at the Foot-stool of that Throne where the Lord of Life sways the Scepter of Relief Mercy and saving Health for all Comers Let my Portion be in the Fountain of Life and not in the broken Cisterns of earthly deceitful Contents If you would save your self from grieving the good Spirit of God which I trust dwells in you retire your self as much as you can into the Contemplation of such things as may cause the fear and love of God to be and remain with some odoriferous Verdure and kindly grow in your Soul And take an ingenious and serious view whether the Plants of the Lord do flourish or else are blighted No less than an infiniteness of Power is requisite to such work and he only who engageth his heart to it lieth under the Promise of the Influences of Heaven to quicken and satisfie him with good things full of Marrow I have no more but recommending you to the Lord to keep you from declining in a declining time and that you may be preserved from evil and your Affections be where Christ is I remain c. 1662. To S. H. N o 69. I Know you yearn after the same Country which I have some hope through the Riches of that Bounty that has appeared from Heaven to Men to see and when the Groans here below are over to breath forth Blessing Honour and Praise to him who I trust has loved us both and washed us in his own Blood and I have some ground to hope the number there will be one the more for your company Only spend your love upon him your delight in him your desires after him and every part of his Will as well to carry the Cross as wear the Crown for both are privileges When your heart is opprest with sin or trouble then think Oh how free is he from sin who sits Conqueror at the Right Hand of God as my Advocate Surety Redeemer yea my principal self whose I am by his Redemption more than I am mine own Sins evil thoughts Heart-lusts dispondency of Spirit shall not always teare and torment for he has judged them in his Flesh upon the Tree and is risen on our behalf I could write a Volume had I words and time of the terrible Inroads which the Enemy especially my own corrupt heart makes upon me but I doubt not you know the same Warfare What remains but that with Faith Hope and Patience we cry out How long Lord holy and true how long ere the Canaanite be expelled and these Thorns in our Flesh be consumed for ever Oh what pure and uninterrupted Communion with Christ will that be when neither sin within nor troubles and fears without shall gaul any more when Melancholy Doubts and Uubelief as a black Cloud shall be dispelled and dried up for ever before the sparkling face ef the Sun of Righteousness solemnizing the Marriage of his Spouse We have no Oratory that can out-pass what he has already uttered concerning this and his words are not vain though ours are many times too too chaffy about these things the more is the pity it should
is most wise creep into him as near as you can and be assured the nearer you creep thither the better welcome and the more will your heart be composed The good hand of the Lord be with you c. 1667. To B. D. N o 86. I Do begin to long after a Line or two more from you how it stands as to your inward Man for that part is oft on my heart concerning you The Lord is favourable to me I have both the visitation of his favourable Frowns and Smiles and his Frowns are very wholsome for he never leaves me nor breaks so much as one Clause of his Covenant for his mercy endureth for ever I and my Family are in health I may say The Lord is my Shephard I shall not want any good thing Our God is a sweet Portion and Heaven a perfect Rest let us spring upwards and all will be well Your condition is often and sometimes solemnly presented by us before the Lord Who is a God hearing Prayer 'T is a comfort to me to think you are in his hands and that he will assuredly guide you by his Counsel until he has brought you to Glory I commend you to his care and kindness c. 1667. To J. A. N o 87. I Always perceive your friendly respect to me for which I return you many thanks As for the former part of your Letter there remaineth nothing on my thoughts that needeth any Apology from you for I never found your Lines any other than the meer proceed of Integrity and entire Affection towards me and therefore always very acceptable and the rather because they do not only leave Conviction upon me being privy to the burthen of mine own evil heart I groan under but are also by way of spur a good and weighty motive to stir up my Soul to pursue the harder after that Mark which I should and do daily long to attain unto Poor Worms as we are may hear and behold one another sometimes with some moral and affectionate Impressions but Oh what an influential Object is Jesus Christ who when yearningly beheld transforms the Soul into the same likeness and indeed the Graces of his Spirit in his People also improved through the Communication of the head have great force through that Communication to quicken one another All this tends to exalt that Fountain of Life and Grace in Christ that feeds all the Streams with its own vertue And blessed be for ever the God of all Grace that has called you and I into that glorious Fellowship and Communion To him we may complain and be pitied in him we may boast and can never exceed there Affection may be inflamed without danger for he infinitely surmounts all our love and all our praises into whose gracious Arms my dar Friend I commend you c. 1668. To B. D. N o 88. WE see how uncertain things below are but our Interest in the unchangeable Covenant of Grace will never fail nor deceive us that still you may say the Lord is good and every thing will work together for good if we let not go our Confidence The good and gracious God spread his Wing over you and direct and manage your Concernments for you You are much upon my heart praying that you may have the presence of God preserving and supporting your heart and ordering your Affairs I can commend you to him as one whom he is pleased through Christ to own within the rich sweet and precious Covenant of his Grace and whom he will care for and never leave till you are fully freed from every heart-oppressing care Therefore in the midst of all Cloudy Dispensations rouse up Faith and so pass through till you arrive at the Port of true Rest where the Fore-runner is entred for you There is a Rock which is not capable of Concussion A believing heart well digesting the 46th Psalm may behold Terrour without dismaying dread An unchangeable God is still the same Refuge in the midst of all other Changes To that Rock I commend you 1668. To C. E. D. N o 89. I Apprehend it a providential favour of God to me who gave me an opportunity of seeing my dear Cousin your Husband before the Lord removed him hence that I might have some fresh taste of the frame of his Soul when he stood upon the brink of Eternity ready to lanch forth I know it is an afflicting Providence to you to be deprived of the Society of so dear a Relation after you had so long enjoyed the Endearment of each others Affections and had passed through many afflicting Dispensations together in this Vale of trouble and had also I doubt not many joynt Applications to God praying together and according to the ability which God gave endeavouring to promote each others spiritual and everlasting Welfare But herein there is matter of Consolation and thankfulness to God not only that he lent you this choice Comfort through so many years of your Pilgrimage but that he caused you to see his faithfulness and goodness in carrying this your dear Husband through to the end of his spiritual Warfare and that God preserved him from staining his Profession in the eyes of the World and has rendred the remembrance of him precious amongst his People and fulfilled his Word touching him Mark the righteous Man and behold the upright c. And what though he be taken out of our sight for a little time there is no reason to repine that the Lord hath seen it good to take him into the Vision and perfect Fruition of himself among the Blessed as he hath given us ground to be fully persuaded and has now put an end to his troubles and disquiets has healed his aches cured his diseases and removed his pains of Body translated him from this World where he is yet pleased to leave you for a further exercise of your faith and patience And now what remains but that you gird up the Loyns of your Mind to run the remainder of your own Race And while you are here in time breath after the same eternal Rest rejoycing amidst all Trials and believing that our faithful and gracious God who has begun his good Work in your heart will never cease till he hath carried you through and landed you safe beyond all temptation sin and sorrow Into the hands of this gracious God I commend you c. 1668. To M. S. N o 90. I Am loath to omit the giving you a Line or two by my dear Sister who is this Morning turning over one Leaf more of her wandring Pilgrimage God is pleased so to order it that methinks I can hear little from any of my dear Friends but stories of worldly perplexity and who are they who are one way or other without their share therein This Life is like a troublesome Dream but blessed are they who when once the Dream is out and when once they come to awake shall be satisfied with realities of true
Peace and Comfort in the Fountain of Freedom and Goodness We find our comforts and expectations here little better than a Bed of Thorns because this is not the Rest that is designed for the People of God and 't will be some help to us under this disquieting exercise and condition to remember that while we are passing through we are held in the hand of him who has a fellow-feeling of our Case who did once pass through the difficulties and drank of the Brook in the way but now lifts up his head and so is become the Foundadation of our Hope that such poor Wretches as we are shall one day through saith and patience arrive where our Fore-runner is entred Only let us now cling upon him till we become transformed into his Likeness and be compleatly dressed with the white Robe of his Righteousness that in him and only in him we may be found without spot In the mean space let us pray and abound therein for our selves and one another to our gracious God who will at length perfect that which concerneth us To him I commend you c. 1668. To T. M. P. N o 91. I Put you both together in my Letter because I have understood that you are now no longer two but one I was very glad to hear that all your prudential Demurs had at last resolved themselves into a Consummation of this long intended Union My hearty desire for you both is that the Blessing and Guidance of the Lord may render your mutual Society a real and constant Comfort to each other and mutual advantage in reference to all Soul-Concernments There is no Condition in this World so desirable but is attended with Temptations and Trials and therefore 't is needful as you have given your selves to each other so also that you give up your selves particularly and joyntly as Yoke-fellows together unto the sweet Yoak and belessed Will of our Lord Jesus Christ One of the greatest Resemblances that we find in Scripture whereby the Love of Christ is set forth to Believers is this state of Marriage And whatever Content therefore you find in this changed Condition let it steer your thoughts to that glorious Mystery of Christ's espousing our Nature that we might become partakers of the Image of God in him and long for that appearing of his when the full solemnizing of the mystical Marriage betwixt Christ and his Church will come and the Union in all degrees be perfected I commend you to the good hand of the Lord c. 1668. To C. M. P. N o 92. THe Present is to acquaint you that my Cousin J. B. died Tuesday last and was this Evening buried God was pleased to order it so that I had notice of his sickness till after his death which was and is a great trouble to me but I understand Means were not wanting for his Recovery His Master much bewails the loss of so faithful a Servant He had as I understand some darkness upon his Spirit till a little before his death and then uttered as well as he could these words Eye hath not seen nor ear heard c. the things which God hath prepared for them that love him and so died almost immediately and has left a sweet savour behind him and a Warning for us his Friends that we make ready and be not found unprepared when the like Summons come unto us We see by daily experience that Life-time and Health is not in our own keeping and therefore are concerned to improve it well while it continues c. The gracious Presence of the Lord be with you c. 1668. To E. D. N o 93. SInce my former God has been pleased to draw a Cloud upon my poor Family Tuesday last little Tho. fell sick and on Wednesday Morning died and is this day to be buried a great and suddain stroak which doth almost overwhelm my dear Wife who goes up and down lamenting and often crying out that she has sinned away her sweet Babe into the Grave You may see in short how 't is with us at present I need not add more for I know what tender Love your self did bear to this sweet and heart-taking Infant Only I desire both you and my dear Sister and our Friends there to pray for us that this stroak may be blest to us all and that my desolate dear Wife may be guided through her present Confusion of Spirit to the only and right Refuge I delivered her your Letter which was very acceptable and therefore pray write her something again and I desire my Sister would do the same 'T is good to help in time of need Her heart is much broken and my Affliction not a little and I believe it is for some further good that God intends to us both a few Lines from you whom I know she doth dearly value will be very seasonable No Affliction is at present joyous but grievous but afterwards comes the sweet and wholsome Fruit and this is the Portion of them who take hold of the full and sure Covenant and the crucified risen Christ who dies no more There is nothing will so wean Affections hence and from the mischief of Creature-love as the Study of Christ viewing him in the Gospel pondering his excellent Person and his glorious Mediatory Office for us and so pitch the Affections on him to be inflamed with his Love in our own Propriety in him And therefore not only with the Bowels of an Earthly Father but in the Bowels of Jesus Christ I intreat and in his Name do charge you to study and muse day and night the unmeasurable endless Love of God who sent his Son the infinite unwearied and endless Love of Christ who came died rose again and lives for ever to be your only Portion and to make you even you a delightful Portion to him and to render you through the Blood of Sprinkling and the Communion and Influence of that one Spirit of the Father and Son an Object of his Delight and a Monument of his pardoning Grace and his purifying Vertue to all Eternity To him I commend you 1668. To E. D. N o 94. BOth my self and my Wife are very sensible of this sore Storm with which the Lord is pleased to exercise your faith and patience at this time But Christ is in the Vessel and therefore you cannot perish in the Fire and in the Water in every cold and hot fit he is with you and has a tender sense of every jot of your pain and sickness t is a Father's Chastisement and Trial and all his aim is to purifie and fit you for an Object of his eternal delight I know his everlasting Arms are under you and though the Dispensation be dark yet he is doing you good with all his heart according to his Covenant and with all his Soul He enclined your heart of his own Grace to chuse him because he chose you first and will yet chuse you in the Furnace
Throw your self upon him for nothing shall separate you from his love in Christ Christ himself was once sick for your sake to the very death and in great darkness yet always beloved of his Father and his God and Father is your God and Father and therefore he will not forsake your Soul in Adversity but make your Bed in your Sickness for his tender Mercy towards you can never dry up Resign up your self to him and be comforted in him for he who is your own God and Saviour is Lord both of Life and Death My heart is melting over you and yet I am but an earthly Father all Affection is derived from him but his Affections his Love and Pity are infinite I do remember you and my poor Wife also both of us have and do spread your Case before the Lord and I have abundant satisfaction in the Lord that it is and will be well with you living or dying but we earnestly desire if it be his Will that you may yet live to shew forth the praises of him upon the Earth who has done great things for you For what greater favour can he give a poor Creature than to make you seek his Face and to number you amongst his Followers which he has given Evidence of blessed be his Name already Be not dejected but lift up your head and heart to your God and Saviour Throw all your sins and cares and fears upon him and spare not for so you honour him and can never please him better He sees you through a Cloud and delights to do you good and will never cease till he open before you the endless Volume of his eternal Love and so love you into his eternal Rest Therefore bear up and be revived for God himself is with you for a Refuge To him I leave you waiting his good pleasure c. 1668. To E. D. N o 95. I received yours of the 10th Instant October desiring to own the gracious hand of God in this speedy Recovery of yours When Hezekiah was reprieved from death for a season t is said he returned not according to the Benefit Take heed of that whatever Awakning you have had endeavour to retain it and that 's the best kind of thankfulness and this the Lord will give if you do often let him know 't is the real desire of your heart He satisfieth the longing Soul Present the same things to him by Faith and Prayer which you mention to me in your Letter and then you may expect to speed He can compose and direct your thoughts for Heart-work is his only to manage When you put Faith and Prayer to the Word you make it another thing than it was before in the meer Letter that 's the way to draw Water out of the Wells of Salvation And thus humbly seriously and chearfully expect whatever good there lies bequeathed to you in the New Testament which is your Legacy c. 1668. To M. D. N o 96. BE not discouraged in your Christian Warfare every one of Christ's Disciples Male and Female must be all Souldiers and we have the Lord of Life for the Captain of our Salvation who will teach our hands to war and fingers to fight He never slumbers If he seem to slumber one of your Groans will wake him for his Bowels are more tender than yours can be to the little Babe He has taken the work upon him and though we are weak he is strong and will be sure to manage the Trust which the Father hath given him and will never leave till he has perfected that which concerns every Lamb of his Flock Be glad in the Lord love him and rest in his Bosom his Love can never wither There I leave you and remain c. 1669. To D. H. N o 97. I Am refreshed in that experience you have had of the good hand of God towards you and though God has caused you to walk in many rough Paths as to your outward Condition yet he still appears a God of all Grace and doth in these things plainly tell you that this World is not your Rest and therefore you meet with Thorns and Briars here that you may have the fresher desires maintained in your heart aspiring upwards The greatest of earthly Contentments will be of no worth nor use in Heaven neither can they of themselves any way add to the Comfort or thriving of a spiritual Life here on Earth The only Life we are allowed to live in this World is the Life of Faith which grows better under difficulties than in a smooth state of Affairs in this World I know no sweeter Entertainment that God can give in this World to his poor Children than that he give often Convincement that the best of this World is too lean Diet for them to feed upon and so make them take the truer taste of that Marrow and Fatness which in Christ they are always to live upon that is no less than God himself the Fountain of Blessedness Safety Peace Sufficiency and solid Joy What can come amiss to that Soul which Christ undertakes by all things and through all things to bring to himself For this end he died and this is the great end of every Trial you meet with and upon this Ground the Spirit saith Rejoyce when you fall into divers Temptations All the Glory Fulness and Ease of this World is but horrour and distress to a convinced Soul that looks on God as an Enemy but nothing can be dismayingly sad when God saith I am thine when Infinite saith I am thine I who am the Maker of all things am thy Husband thy Trials shall not quite overwhelm thee thy sins shall not ruine thee Death it self shall not destroy thee O Death where is thy Destruction when God shall say I will be with thee in the Fire and in the Water Thy Person is accepted thy Prayers though in thy own eyes without any form or comeliness are sweet and accepted in Christ who hath chosen thee and thou hast chosen him What shall I say The freeness of God's Grace in Christ his powerful and most voluntary Love is such where-ever it darts that neither Sin nor Devil can stand before it to hinder a jot of all that good which such a God has promised and undertook to perform and that meerly upon the Account of his own Name streaming forth through Christ in the Gospel to such poor impenitent Creatures as you and I are I shall add no more at present but committing you to this God whose you are whom you serve and who will never leave nor forsake but guide you by his Counsel and support you by his Spirit till he has brought you to Glory the perfection and fulness of what you pray and long for c. 1669. To M. D. N o 98. I Have hitherto had some favourable presence of the Lord with me which I bless him for Whether the Fig-tree doth blossom or no yet he is good and can
make it blossom when he please He that hath given us himself will not with-hold what is truly good from us All his Methods are lovely to a believing Eye Let us soar above and disown all other Comforts that contradict our Communion with him The Riches of free Grace and that blessed Interest in Christ doth sparkle sweetliest in a tastless dark World I have no greater thing to say to my own Soul or yours than this Let us chuse God in Christ for our Portion and exceeding Joy and then we shall have not only enough but our Cup will run over With my dearest Affections and true Love to your self and cordial Respects to all other Friends c. 1669. To M. D. N o 99. IT can never go ill while the Door of Access is by Christ's own hand kept open to converse with God and some favour this way he is pleased now and then to grant me The Concernments of his glorious Name do call for our greatest Solicitude and though I am now wandring up and down I desire still to bear that more tenderly upon my heart I hope our Prayers meet every day at the same Throne of Grace Let that Trade go on and other things will do well enough I see serious Persons have weighty thoughts about the present Providences of God towards us I have you much upon my heart Feed upon the Grace of the Gospel every day and pray for me that I may do so too c. 1669. To M. D. N o 100. MY heart will not suffer my hand to be quiet unless I take every opportunity to render my self as present with you as I can methinks the savour of Christianity in this place among many I converse with is like the smell of a field which God hath blessed Cherish whatever may render the Love of Christ predominant in your heart I think my heart hath felt the good of yours and others Prayers and I hope God has begun by what I hear to answer his Peoples Prayers for his Church Oh that he may go on and fill their Mouths with Praise I have no more but my choicest Affections to your dear self c. 1669. To B. D. N o 101. I Have heard by Mr. D. that you have been lately sick but yet recovering I doubt not but you always wait and prepare for your Change and are through Grace ready for it We see the mutability of all Terrene things but an Interest in an unchangeable Covenant of Grace will not fail nor deceive all such as are comprised in it who may always say the Lord is good and every thing will work together for good for us if we let not go our Confidence Seeing the Providence of God hath so ordered my Condition that I must while Health and Life continue have my hand in some endeavours for necessary Supply I am still waiting upon his Blessing in that way which he was pleased to direct me unto and I may say with Jacob God hath sed me all my life long and 't is safe and comfortable resting on his Arm. I commend your Person and Affairs to our most wise God to dispose guide and manage I know you need much Faith Wisdom Patience and Self-denial to carry you through but you have a strong Refuge still to flee unto and be accepted And there I leave you c. 1669. To S. M. N o 102. AFter much languishing Weakness the Lord was pleased to remove hence by Death Mr. H. D. much lamented by many He gave good evidence of his Interest in the unchangeable Covenant before his last Change came and so left a good savour behind him We have enjoyed much freedom here for some time but what times we are reserved for we know not but our times are in God's hand who seems to call upon us all to remember that this World is not our resting place and therefore we are still to prepare for fresh difficulties and the hurries and uncertainties here below should be as a Spur in our sides to our motion towards the Land of Rest and that purchased and promised Freedom for which the whole Creation groaneth Blessed are those disquiets that rouze the Soul thither for true Rest and Ease The Lord help us among all other business here to mind Eternity and be always ready that whensoever God please to summon us hence by Death it may not be as an uncomfortable Surprize c. 1669. To J. L. N o 103. I Desire that ancient Affection between us may never die though distance of Habitation has put us for a long time far asunder I have lived upon the care of my God hitherto and may say of him as Jacob did He has fed me all my life to this day and I have his Promise also for the future and faithful is he that hath promised Let us both have still a fresh pursuit after the chiefest good kept alive and growing more and more in our Souls c. 1670. To M. D. N o 104. I Know I am upon your heart and in your prayers as you are in mine Present my affectionate Respects to Mr. Br. and tell him I desire his serious Remembrance of me before the Lord and the like I desire of every praying Friend Be not anxious concerning the present Providence our times and every Case of ours are all in the hands of God to him let our Requests be made known and every thought composed in believing on him who hath said All things shall work together for good to them that love him as I hope in some measure of truth we do With utmost Affections to your self c. The good hand of the Lord be with you c. 1670. To M. D. N o 105. HOw many experiences doth God give us day after day of his Pity and Love and Oh that our hearts may be raised up to adore and love him again which is the principal Thankfulness that we are able to shew Be careful in nothing but let Faith and Prayer breath forth every Anxiety of Soul into the wise and gracious dispose of God and in him centre with a holy recumbent Acquiescence of heart 'T is a profitable sweet necessity to be forced upon the naked Arm of God and that he alone becomes the Stay and only Retirement of the Soul c. The Grace Power Wisdom and Faithfulness of God never becomes admired till we improve them in all Cases This is the Mark I aim at this is a most secure delightful Pasture to feed in when the World seems to be a barren Wilderness and the things thereof wither I commend you for Health Comfort and Preservation to my gracious God he is our Father and hath a Fathers heart and a Fathers care I hanker after my peculiar Station and to be amongst those dear Friends from whom I am at present separated by distance of place though not in Affection I remember them as God enables me in my daily Addresses and I know I am remembred by them
Affections The Lord's Promise is to satisfie the longing Soul To whose favourable Hand and rich Grace I commend you Faithful is God who hath called you into the Fellowship of his dear Son and thereby you have boldness to enter in within the Vail and he hath promised you shall never be cast out for your Iniquities he will remember them no more And though the Cross be somewhat difficult to bear yet the Reserve at last will fully recompence all and therefore lift up your head for Redemption is coming c. 1674. To B. D. N o 116. I Bless the Lord I can remember and mention you as one who is interested in that Promise Jer. 32. 41. I will rejoyce over them to do them good and that he will never leave you till he has perfected that which concerns you in a way of Grace Mercy and Love My great and often Request on your behalf is above all that God would preserve you from the Evil of Sin and from Snares in your daily Walk that he would sprinkle you with the Blood with the Merit of Christ's Satisfaction and Righteousness that he would direct your Path and do all your Works in you and for you and cause you to lean strongly and chearfully on the Arm of his Truth and Grace in reference to all present and future Trials and that you may more than conquer through believing in every Exigence you do or may meet with till the Warfare be accomplished and the days of Trial finished in the Fruition of perfect Freedom For my own part I have reason to bless the Lord that he has favourably held me up and carried me along now these many years since we saw each other though exercised me with some difficulties and considerable Losses yet I hope and do think he has some way or other a Reserve of Kindness for me unworthy me and mine for the Earth is the Lords and the fulness of it And through this Grace I have in some measure and desire held on still to chuse him for my Portion as to things present and eternal As his time was writing of one deceased so your and my times are in the hands of God who is most wise and to be adored and submitted to The days of our anxious Pilgrimage are running out the Lord direct our eyes to that serene unchangeable State where Sins Fears Temptations Turmoils and Difficulties will cease for ever To the Care Counsel Comfort and Communion of whose gracious Spirit I commend you 1674. To T. M. N o 117. SOme time since I received from you a large and very savoury Letter which I do now and then peruse as a friendly Monitor and good help for taking the better view of mine own heart and that Letter together with the Acquaintance I had with you in London doth cause me the oftner to remember you with delight I have understood of your Health by several Friends which I desire if the Lord please may continue and prosper as I am persuaded through the Influences of the Spirit of Christ and his unchangeable Love your Soul prospers To that rich Grace of Christ and to his blessed Conduct in all your Concerns I commend you c. 1674. To H. W. N o 118. REmembring that ancient Amity and Respect that was heretofore between my Father and your self and the continuance thereof for a long time after his Decease between your self and his Family and being not at all conscious to my self that I have for my own part hitherto merited much less designed the Suspence of that good Will but being still heartily desirous of your Welfare I am though distant in place yet as occasion presents often enquiring how 't is with you and understanding that your days are yet drawn forth and that your Pilgrimage though under much infirmity of old Age doth yet continue I was willing to evidence my real Respects unto you by a Line or two and as I do not doubt but that your general aim throughout your days have been to employ your Talent in the Service of Christ while strength and time permitted so I earnestly desire that in the Approaches of a Dissolution you may find that fulfilled to you which David prayed for viz. That the Lord would not leave him in his old Age when Strength faileth Psal 71. 9. The same I desire for you even that you may now experience the refreshing vertue of all those Gospel-Truths which Christ hath so long intrusted you with as his Messenger unto others that you may have the Merit of his Satisfaction and Righteousness applied for your perfect Absolution from all Sin and Guilt the Influence and Conduct of his Spirit to water and steer all your Meditations thoughts hopes and desires the Consolations of his Grace and Love to sweeten your Travel through the Valley of Death and give you at last a refreshing Arrival at the Throne of eternal Rest and there harbour you after all the Incumbrance and Warfare of this present state in the Fruition of his immediate Presence without spot in Jesus Christ the Glimpses whereof I heartily desire you may before-hand partake of as an Earnest of that great full and perfect Revelation and Enjoyment when Time shall be no more So with my hearty and unfeigned Respects I remain yours in Truth and true Affection c. 1674. To H. W. N o 119. I Received yours of the 25th past which was exceeding welcome to me and therefore I return you hearty thanks both for it and your candid Acceptation of that Token I sent you being an Indication such as it was of the respect and value which from my very heart and that deservedly I bear towards you Your Letter written as I see with an aged feeble hand I have read over with great Acceptation and account it to me the same as a precious Balm I understand that Mr. Oxenb after a very small time of Sickness in a few moments space departed this Life And thus we are dropping away hastning towards a Dissolution where the eye that now seeth us shall see us no more Blessed be that Redeemer who will not call home any of his peculiar number before he has finished the design of his Grace and the purpose of his Will by them and in them And blessed are those Souls that are in any saving measure helped by his Spirit to creep out of themselves into his heart and in that Union partake of all the Benefits of his Death and Purchase both for present Grace and hope of Glory In which number I am undoubtedly persuaded that you are included and that you lie under the Aspect of that Divine Goodness and Love which will feed the Oyl in your Lamp and cause your Lamp to be ready trimmed and burning that so when the Bridegroom comes and calls you off to Immortality and Life you may be able to say Loe I come for all is ready Such a readiness the Lord grant also to my poor Soul To his
let them be glorious in this World in Holiness and be bound up with thee for ever in the Covenant of Grace into which thou hast called them Let my poor Friends that have loved me and have seen but little Grace something it may be they have seen through thy Goodness Oh be with them and make them grow abundantly Let thy Glory arise hasten it let the Kingdom of Christ be exalted Oh that the days of this Darkness may be blown away and let there be a mighty coming in of Truth Holiness Sincerity and spiritual Light and Manifestation that there may be a mighty Child-like Spirit in all thy Children I desire all these Petitions in truth Let thy People be the Wisdom the Truth the Joy of the Earth Be with me and be with all thine and this I beg in the Lord Jesus Let thy good Spirit come upon all thine Oh glorifie thy self now and ever Oh let thy good Will be done Oh let thy own Will be done Let my Will follow thy Will as the Thread follows the Needle and let it be so eternally Let my Soul believe every word that thou hast spoken shall be accomplished Thou wilt never leave till thou hast made thy Name conspicuous and all thy People rejoyce Oh why why why may not the slow coming on now make haste Oh why may not the Growth of spiritual Wisdom be sprouting forth with great Improvement as being the very Operation of the Spirit Why may not Love to thee come and damp all other Loves Why may not the Observation of thy Love thou shewest me be powerful and transforming of my Soul Why should I lie back Lord I am not sanctified at the rate thou usest means for the same Oh that I might have more of the Spirit much much more and may see the Power of God from Heaven mightily changing me Oh let not thy Spirit be wanting Oh let Truth and Power be given in O God fill the World with thy Spirit that thy work may be done tidily tidily Oh let there be a nearness between thee and the Souls of thy People Oh that never that dull Spirit in Religion may come into the World again a God-provoking Temper of Soul Oh that thy People may judge of their love to thee by the very Out-goings of their Souls to thee and account nothing a Token of Love to thee unless the Soul be as it were in some Surprizes of being thine joyned to thee perfectly as if it were about to be carried out of the World I have been a withered dry Branch Oh hasten a Spring-time in one World or another Thou hast given me Truth in the inward parts I bless thee but there is no Answer answerably I wait now I wait every day and every night a poor Waiter I am O Lord be found Oh let God be glorified Oh that I might see Religion to be something I have professed Religion scores of Years one after another and yet to have got no more of the Glory of the Grace of that Religion methinks doth import that the Devil hath a strange debilitating power but God is pleased to leave him to put a slur upon the Glory of Christ's Church in the Life of Grace and to make the ways of God seem not so exceeding different from the way of Flesh as it is and all this for Trial and all this for Shame when the eyes of the spiritual Mind be a little opened Oh when a little satisfaction is got that there is truth of Grace how doth a seduced Soul nuzzle it self in that that it is safe and doth not make out for a great Progress in Grace and Holiness And if God should leave that Soul at last under those terrible Trials that may arise from thence it may shake and put it into a terrible Consternation Alas never can I fly too far from that devouring Lion never can I fly too soon April 16. Ah sweet Grave where I shall not need any cooling Drink Being spoken to from a near Friend viz. I hope the Lord will give you in of himself some such Prospect as he did to Stephen when he was leaving the World He replied I have a little sight of him and I find no dark passage to the enjoyment of him To another Friend he said He that hath you by the hand will never leave you To a near Relation he spake thus Say to your Soul I have a Fountain that will never dry up My Lines are fallen to me in a pleasant place yea I have a goodly Heritage There should be frequent fondnesses between God and us as Children towards their Parents He farther declared that though he had an earnest desire to be gone hence yet if the Lord pleased he could be content and willing to be the last Man in the Brunt of Suffering for his sake and Name in this World or words to that effect Again he spake saying O Lord come quickly come quickly answer me by thy self My wise God is still pleased to continue me though there are no signs of a Reserve for further Service to him in this World I bless the Lord for his Goodness towards me The Consolation of God is no small thing it is no small thing it is strong Consolation the Consolation of Christ is a great thing April 17. A Friend taking his leave of him saying that he was going to visit a Person of Honour he spake to this effect Pray remember me to my Lord and tell him that I am an Expectant hoping for a Meeting where we may dwell for ever April 18. In the Morning he spake saying O Lord how do I pass through nights and days O wise God and dost thou speaking to himself account him so Lord make me to account thee wise and good Lord pardon me and receive me O happy day that is coming O blessed day that is coming I pass through Death unto eternal Life After that he said The Captive shall return there will be no Captivity O sweet Redemption Much of our Heaven here lies but in a little talk about it and when we speak a word of it we have scarce a Thought suitable to the greatness of it Some space after he fetch'd a deep Groan and with his eyes lifted up and his Right hand stretched forth as if the pains of death were upon him he said Sharp and welcome Sharp and welcome And a while after he said praying Lord let me not die with any Guilt upon me but leave it all behind Oh let not any Sin remain in me unrepented of Let not any Concurrence with the least Guilt be in me Let there be upon my Will an edge of Hatred against every Sin Create it in me now Thou canst make me to delight in that that is contrary to my own Will Oh let thy Will be pleasing to me and let my Will be every way according to thy Will Let not the Agonies of Death be too terrible let not the Surge of it be too
terrible to me nor to any of the Race thou hast redeemed from Death Let the Agonies of Death be pleasing to me in Christ Oh the Dolour the unspeakable Anger of God we have not drank of it O the intollerable Wrath of God born by that Man meaning Jesus Christ O the woful Travel of Christ we have took up but a little of it and that hath made Repentance slight and holy Care trivial And now O Lord thou reckonest with me for undervaluing of that bloody Agony Lord forgive me my Guilt in this thing I have not been a Christian in earnest as I ought Oh he that made himself the bottom of all sorrow he suffered infinitely Oh such a Redeemer Oh such a Redeemer alas how unsuitable have I been to him Lord pardon my unsuitableness I have been as a Beast before thee I have not come up to answer the Call of that unutterable Grace And now O Lord I cannot stand in the Battel I cannot now the Arrows of Death stick in my Flesh and I cannot bear it without great Concussions of Soul within me But O! O! O thou who art the God of all Grace who art got upon the Kingdom of Grace and art the Head of that Kingdom wilt thou now shew thy Glory Make Death sweet make the Tendencies to Death sweet make every step to Deliverance a pleasing step O my God Save thy Worm save thy Worm O my God according to thy Promises made to Jacob I hearken what the Lord will say he will speak Peace in the Blood of Jesus Sustain me O Lord sustain me Thou art my Friend as thou spakest to Abraham thou art my Friend Dost thou love me Dost thou at this time love me with thy whole heart and with thy whole Soul Dost thou love me more than my nearest and dearest Friends Than those intimate Relations here that continue with me in my Tribulation With a more inward intense Love with an Infiniteness beyond all these Lord let me know that thou lovest me in very Deed let me know that thou knowest me by Name let me know that thou hast an eye upon me more than Doctors and Friends let me know that every Act of thine towards me is the effect of thy Love Love me Oh now with thy whole heart Oh make me to believe it Help me to apprehend that thou dost take notice of me and art with me every Moment with me as to my present Case and Concernment 'T is dead Friendship when Friends cannot hear nor see one another but sure there is another Friendship between thee and thine and thou standest in Relations to them Art not thou my Father Hath not the Church said so Lord thou art our Father Thou art my Husband my Brother my Friend and art not ashamed to be called my Brother Oh wonderful Thou begattest me I am born of thee Lord what shall I do with the great things of the Gospel if thou dost not give forth the Spirit of Faith O Lord wilt thou who art Truth who art Life who art certain wilt thou take the great work of my practical Religion upon thee Thou canst make it to be in Power and Truth unto me as may answer the very design thou aimest at I have been praying through the days of thy drawing me after thee O Lord I would come to that kind of praying while I am here in the World as might be a lovely Copy of that praying of that Converse that will be with thee in Heaven Will Prayer altogether cease in Heaven No surely Lord glorifie thy self glorifie thy self glorified be God Oh Oh that the very Life and Soul of that state then may now be begun Oh that I might hasten to that state Thou detainest me here in thy Wisdom I would go unto thee and into that Life which will most glorifie thee eternally I would go where Life is and no Death I would go where the fullest expressions of the power of Grace overcoming Sinners may be patent and manifest in me even in me who am a poor Mortal There be many things that I have found here that are Likenesses to pure Likeness to thee and here I have lost wofully my way Lord open it The heart is deceitful above all things and it will have its working one way or other but Lord I would go where there is Purity I would go where there is Purity without Impurity I would be with thee Lord for then I can speak to thee in thine own Language better At about Two of the Clock that day in the Afternoon he further extended his Speech as followeth The old World will be the old World still it will remain to Eternity it will be only translated from hence where it received its Curse to Hell to be in Chains of Darkness for ever but all the redeemed number shall be instated in their Palaces of Glory I am in the very Period of Wonders I am in the very Period of viewing Death and Life I am under some Sufferings and they shall be sweet And speaking to himself said Thou shalt lie down in thy Bed And then speaking to God Thou wilt not throw me into the Grave in Anger thou wilt put me into the Grave Thou wilt not say Sleep there in Death thou wilt say Sleep there a little till the Indignation be over-past till that is inflicted on thee for Sin which was pronounced and that that passed away from Christ shall pass from me Lord thou wilt not be unfaithful to thy Word God cannot lie God cannot forget to be gracious he cannot forget his own Work This is that God I desire to believe in and resolve eternally to cling upon with the Truth of my whole heart I have sinned and thou hast pardoned me and saved me with a high hand Help me in this hour take away my fears The last stroak that will be given will be by the Devil himself because it is his last Battel and thou wilt permit him but thou wilt bind him and when thou hast unclinch'd his hands he shall never clinch again He is that last Enemy from Conversion to Salvation Lord wilt thou who hast been destroying this Enmity all along now cause his Enmity to appear to be destroyed and turned into Powder and Rottenness O Have at it have at it I pray thee The strength the might the power of the Life of Sin and Darkness Lord thou didst promise to plague Antichrist for all the Plagues that he hath plagued thine O Lord do thou pour out thy Plagues upon him whilst thou dost sustain him to be fighting his last Battel Let him fight his Battel but let him O God drink of the Rivers of thy Wrath along with it Let the Weak overcome the Strong let thy People be Lyons but let the Devil be an enfeebled Enemy Serve thy self of all thy Instruments whatever they are Lord let them do thee the utmost Service of their Capacity Thy proper Instruments Oh make them glorious make them
be able to speak to the hearing of the ends of the whole Heavens O the Melody of that great day when Saints and Angels innumerable shall be the Pronouncers Oh never such Melody Melody that may be heard Millions of Years Millions of Miles O Lord keep me in my present work till thou callest me to future work and prepare me for the glorifying of thee for ever Help me in this instant help me leave me not now help me through this Thicket graciously Lord graciously deal with me at my Dissolution that nothing but Actings of Love and Grace may be shining upon Me. I leave me with thee I desire to do it perfectly April 19. He spake to one that had watched with him the foregoing Night You see how it is with me You are young the Lord affect your heart with a true sense of your eternal State that you may not be befooled of your immortal Soul by a tempting Devil and a tempting World Some space after he took occasion to say It makes my Soul ashamed within me sometimes that I have had the whole Book of all God's Promises and Covenant before me and do believe that there is mine Inheritance and yet to be in such a posture as I am Alas to be made the Children of the Most High and to live like Fools it should make the Soul long to have the utmost of the Grace promised I expect every night and every day and every piece of a day to be gone that when-ever any Qualm comes upon me I am ready to think this is the time and yet I find in my self a natural Reluctancy against Death that I would and I would not but where-ever my Damp my Black my Disquiet is it ariseth from some Tardiness in my Soul to my God I have a great desire to be freed from my Burthens and to be in that State I greatly long for but yet I would willingly that God should pitch my Stakes and determine the matter God's Wisdom and his Goodness goes together for God's Attributes do not cross one another I ought to have a Manly Walk with God it is not a crouching crimbling childish foolish unexpert Walk By Manly I mean to weigh things as they are in the grave Discovery of Scripture Surely I long to be in the Fountain to see it and be for ever in it To one asking him how he did he said It is a great Mercy that my Mind abides in any Conjuncture and that the Wheels of the Clock do not fall all out of order I cannot now converse but I think the Trade meaning the Heavenly Trade goes on and the Lord make it a smart Trade Lord teach me how frail I am all things are best known by Experience as Learning is obtained by Observation Rules and Precepts April 20. Finding himself exceeding faint and weak said I could now lie down and say This is my last if the Lord saw it fit having much ado to retain Life To a Christian Friend that came to visit him he said Blessed be the Lord for the Covenant of Grace and the Surety of that Covenant where our stay is All Goodness all Mercy all Peace c. The way and method God takes he himself hath cut out but what his scope is in this my present Case I do not know Afterward it being told him of the death of an aged Relation who lived to above fourscore Years he spake to this effect Is he dead with whom I never had the opportunity seriously to converse with in the things of a spiritual World Surely this is the time to do any thing for God and to be helpful to others The Lord bless the Providence to that poor Woman his Wife To another Friend taking leave and saying The Lord be with you I hope he will carry you to your Journeys end he replied I hope he will I believe he will never leave me nor forsake me To another poor Christian he gave this Counsel Cling upon Christ and he will never leave you I cannot say much but be sure of that follow hard after Christ and he will never leave you That is all my Experience all that I have been a learning of the Truth and Faithfulness of God these scores of Years Only love him only obey him entirely seek him pray to him much for that is the only likeliest way and I never heard of any that did it faithfully and was lost Then he prayed O my God be near me suffer nothing to miscarry through the All-sufficiency of thy infinitely great Grace To a dear Friend that came to visit him telling him that he was very much upon the hearts of the People of God who prayed for him he replied these words That one heart of Christ sets other hearts awork He farther said I am glad to see you upon account of former Intimacy but I chiefly rejoyce that you have found the same God in Prayer that I have done and that you are hankering after the same Fountain and Spring and cannot live without it as God hath given me also an unwearied Reach after and upon these Grounds I am glad to see you My dear Friend fare you well the Lord be with you To a Relation he spake thus Spring to Heaven though for your springing you spring out of the Body and leave it behind you Let us look to it lest you and I fall short of our Hope Multitudes of Professors standing aloof off have lost their way they have lost their work they have lost their end Our opportunity is as clear in our hand now as ever it was in the hand of David or Paul or any of the Saints of God that lived before us Oh how do I love to see Grace grow in Friends in Relations c. The Lord be with you and carry you and make your Affliction to be a sanctified Affliction that in a little while you may not have any burthen but may see your Salvation and have it April 21. To another Visitant he spake thus I may not stand wondering meaning in reference to his long Sickness but yet I may wonder indeed that ever God made me a Man that ever he made me a rational Creature that ever he brought me forth into the World where the Gospel was and that he hath told me that he will save me for ever Oh that I could wonder admire and adore it You duggle up and down and so I have done heretofore and here we walk over but a little Ground and if we obtain little or much it is but a little got in a little Ground and we have therein trouble But Oh what is it to flee over the whole Heavens and to be every where in God and in Christ In all other good things relating only to this Life all the pleasure we have in seeking them is to think how pleasurable they will be to us when obtained But the delight and pleasure of spiritual things lie much in the very seeking of them
April 22. Being the Lord's Day in the Afternoon to a Friend that came to see him he expressed himself thus The Doctor hath told me the lightsomest News to day that he hath told me a great while in acquainting me that there is but little hope of my Continuance long in the World but the Afflictions of God's People lie near my heart Oh to be filled with the Spirit three or four hours in Prayer for the Concerns of Sion He farther spake in his particular Case c. thus What if they that have seen me shall see me no more if he sees me that hath seen my Yearnings and Groanings if he sees me again he will not say he knows me not he is a God that will not forget his Promise He who hath seen my Soul in Travel who hath seen those Pangs of desire that no other hath seen he will be ready to say in the Riches of his Grace Here is poor such a one come to my Gate Come to my Knee Come to my Mercy-Seat Oh for affectionate thoughts of God and getting into him they are things that will not dry up they will not wither that will not be parched up Oh blessed be that heart that is thorow in desires Oh where is that glorious Majesty Oh what is it to come to the first Spring of Spiritual Life To come to God to the God that hath carried me into my threescore and tenth Year with a high hand And now he fore-seeing the remainder of my days would be Sorrow and Labour to the Body he calls me off And what is threescore and ten Years compared with Eternity A poor Pittance of time wherein God hath had very little Service from me Thus I parle a little about it to get some deep thoughts of that unspeakable Majestick Grace Little can I say of my Religion more than this I love the Lord in all he did I love him in all his Image I may say I may lay me down and rest for the Lord sustaineth me I have no other I desire no other Lord glorifie thy Name I have had caring thoughts about my self and others but now thou seemest to determine the matter Thou didst see I could not stand in the Shock but in thy strength I could have stood But thou wilt not cause all thy Waves and thy Billows to pass over me Thou hast had thy Champions and wilt have thy Champions Lord the Clouds arise apace the Wicked are full of Wrath they would root out thy Interest they would make Jacob low they are set upon Mischief and Spight Arise arise O God let the Lamb deliver let the Lamb overcome let thy unreasonable Enemies be turned over to Judgment Beautifie the place of thy Holiness confirm the Weak fix the Staggering Let thy People be able to meet Sufferings to put on Faith and Patience and say Aha Aha We are for God and his Ways Let thy People meet Death meet Losses meet whatever the Enemy can do and say We scorn your Cruelty Oh that thy People may stick by thee when there is nothing but Violence and Contradiction of thy Will O Lord work wonders for thy People break the Arm cut asunder the Bow of the Ungodly Oh let Shame be upon those that would take away thy Worship Glorifie thy self appear and stand an invincible Champion in Israel Let the earth know that thou dost possess the Gates of thine Enemies Let my Soul come into the Bundle of Life let my Soul come to all that that is promised by Jesus Christ I am to receive the Salvation of my Soul with exceeding Joy Am I near to the great Revelation of Christ to know more than ever Solomon did with that Perfection of Nature he had and Attainment of Grace Am I near to attain more than ever Paul could reach to by the Power of Grace and to know more of the Covenant of Grace than Abraham himself did and all the Saints while they were here in the World Oh I am confounded I am confounded and astonished I wonder I wonder at Free Grace and am amazed for want of more Faith The Filthy the Filthy duggle of a respect to my own Works which would follow me and spoil me and spoil all the Mystery of Free Grace c. Oh that now at last the Glory of Free Grace might lift me into the eternal place of it To a near Relation he spake thus Brother you are come to take your leave of me The Doctor as a sweet Messenger told me to day that I am near my Change I am now going from Shadows to Substance from things imperfect to things compleat and the thoughts of it even confound me I have been trading in the things of God for almost threescore years as to the experience of it and now after this long WOOF upon the LOOM it is to be taken off and all of it VIEWED and I know a World of Evil there is but I have always had a Sufficiency of the Grace of the Gospel declared to me that as defects came in they might be removed and by his Grace I have kept on with some desire with some delight with some Faith and Chear and now the RECKONING is to be made O my God there is a great Transaction upon me I throw my self upon Christ in the Gospel I sink if Christ sinks I have had nothing else to rest the Sole of my Foot upon now let thy Mercy be for me Thou hast given me good hope through Grace now Lord answer every good word upon which thou hast caused my Soul to hope Thou hast brought me hitherto so far to the very end of the Wilderness now O God bring me to thy Canaan I have waited for it Many other Sicknesses have not removed me now thou seemest to say This shall Now let me leave all my Filth behind me take it off There is a TRANSLATION let that Translation be effected upon me O Lord let not that Temptation come upon me that I have prayed to no purpose that I have faltered in the things wherein thou hast steered my Soul in Truth and in Spirit Lord let not a dead thought abide with any ugly savour in me now when thy Providences with the Concurrence of thy Servants meaning the Doctors say that thou callest me when they say The Master calleth thee Oh Oh was there ever such a day Had I ever such a day to be standing in the Portal to be waving up my hand to be knocking Oh for an Opening Lord say to me I will open Come in and let us sup together No less O Lord. Answer the Breathings of my Soul all along all my days Thou art faithful thou hast chosen me deny me not O thou that art Truth thou knowest that I have chosen thee Thou knowest my Life in this World hath been Death and Poyson to me without thee and now I come only expecting what thou hast promised and not what I have procured for there hath been my
Lord is with me and I have Ground of Faith and Hope that I have favour in his Eyes April 24. He expressed himself as followeth I am upon the Term of two great things viz. At the Term of all my great Subjugation to Sin and at the Term of all the Receipt of the Liberty Christ hath purchased at the Term of Sins Thraldom and at the Term of springing up through the Grace of God to eternal Life These are great things and I cannot manage my thoughts about it thorowly through the greatness of it I am going from the Yellings of Sin in this World and the woful effects of it and I am going to a Congregation the only Church of the First-born written in Heaven to visit the Streets of the eternal Grace and Love of God and meet the Company that walk there And methinks I am in a Wood and God hath held me in the Portal a pretty while and here I cannot be perfected for I never had any fittedness but through him that is compleat and is in Heaven And here I abide an Expectant as the poor Man that expected to be put into the Pool and that Angel hath not yet put forth his hand My Body parcheth my Mind parcheth a little Faith and Hope is left me My Tongue begins again to cleave I leave this World as a place where there is no satisfying It may content others a while but it seems rather to hunt me away Body faint Spirit faint in a strange Land my Mind is all in a scatter It will not be so it is so now O Lord help me graciously to wait Death was always spoken of as a dark Valley a place of Darkness and Trial not a place of Joy and shall I find it so Notwithstanding I have hope in the Faith and Love of God by Christ there is a secret Relief That he will turn Death into Life for his own sake and suffer never a clinging Soul to be lopt off and perish I desire no Food my very Nature loaths it my Body is off from all means of help in this World and here I stay through the good hand of God like a poor Stranger I am going to another World and the Fruits of that World will not satisfie the Wants I have here it will not quench my Thirst it will not allay my Drought So that if I have not some Relief to my Soul which is not of this World if I have it not from another World I am undone I cannot speak my thoughts have a large Theam I am up and down in and out and I see a great thing before me and sometimes it causeth a Word to drop I see ETERNAL LIFE before me That great thing that concerns me Sure it is a great thing to be at the very Brink to see all Promises fulfilled made good and all the Demonstrations of the Gospel made patent To see the Foundation of Eternal Life for ever laid and to come and cast ones eye upon it in the abundance of Faith And these are the things that lie just before me only there hath been an entrance about them I have believed c. and now I go to see the Promise and the Faith of the Promise accomplished To a Friend saying you have a strong hand to carry you Sure there is our Security in his holding of us more than in our holding of him He answered There it only lies The Lord continue to be with you The Lord make good his Covenant to you I and all the rest even that which is written in that good Book of his in which we desire to have our hope Let nothing hinder our Faith nor disorder our Practise He proceeded further to speak that day in the Afternoon thus God makes all these things here with respect to me at this time as it were to change their kind A Draught of Spring-Water fresh Beer or such a like thing how sweet have I sometimes found it But now nothing The rare vertues of Apples and other Fruits they are to me now as Dirt they do not answer my End My natural Thirst and Desire cannot be gratified with any thing here Though my Body lies parching away with Thirst my Soul loatheth dainty Meats and the best of Liquors that have been pleasing they are now a burthen to me I can taste nothing that will give reviving God is drawing forth my Nature in the way of a Dissolution that I must have no more Chear now but what comes in by New Covenant Mercy and that will be to Soul to Body for ever and thanks be to his Name he will not have me feed with dirty Company He hath shewed me the way of Life he hath caused me to chuse him I bless his Name Oh that wonderful thing that thou shouldst cause me to chuse thee Oh that thou mightest be chosen by all those that ever I had Acquaintance with in all my Life Oh that none of them may go without it Oh for a turned heart Oh for the eyes of Light and Life Oh for Salvation out of Damnation to a changed People Blessed be God that ANY that so MANY near to me were turned in at the right Gate of Election upon the Downfall that came by Sin as I hope as I hope O Lord find out thine thou wilt find them out Work Miracles work Miracles by converting Power in turning Souls that the Earth may see thy Glory Oh thou hast been my God many ways hast thou declared it Thou hast been the God of the Family from whence thou chusest me The Family is almost at an end Thou hast not left our poor Family two of us are yet remaining on the Earth O my God let it be for an eternal Renown to thy Name that thou hast hitherto reached out thy Grace to we two poor Remainers of that numerous Family Oh thou hast left us thy self to be our God to be our Portion O Lord thou hast given thy self to us and and thou hast given thy Spirit into us and we to the Glory of thy Grace can say Thou art OUR GOD hast been our God and wilt be our God and wilt number us amongst those whom thou hast delighted to take pleasure in unto Eternity O Lord be thou the God of our Seed or of our Seeds Seed O Lord that thou wouldst take them in with all those thou hast brought into Relation with thy self We have Relations in the World some that lie under the power of Satan and thou makest us to know it that it might be a constant Grief unto our hearts O Lord that none relating to us or to any or either of us might be found in those Bonds O Lord that thou wouldst imprint thine Image that thou wouldst come with a powerful hand and clear them out of Satan's Kingdom into the Kingdom of Christ Lord we are mingled in the World we have many Relations now up and down and what shall we say for the Children of our People
kept up a rare thirst through his goodness after him and a delight in the ways of his communications But I would not it is not for me to speak these things you should be vain in your own conceit But go on I see the Foundation laid he will never leave you be at rest And now study the great mystery of the Gospel of which you have a large notion but I would have you turn every notion into a practical work a practical acting into a practical use I would have you turn it all and labour to do it every day that what you believe may be so to you as substance and not Air and the Lord will visit you and help you Your Nature is timorous and fearful but God coming in to fill your Soul with Faith and fill Faith with powerful workings you will have a great Friend at every turn to be for you to be with you for you will be able to trust God when you see not why nor wherefore to trust to his promise c. His Speech and Charge to his only Child was as followeth MARY I and you must part I and you must part I leave you behind me in the World and my Prayer to God is to keep my child to teach my child to keep you and to make your heart to be full of love to spiritual things that you may not be befooled of your Soul that you may not be befooled of Heaven that you may not perish like a Fool. And I charge you I charge you I charge you in the name of God who is your Judge that you hearken attentively to all the Counsel of your Dear Mother and do not play it away bable and trifle it away see you do it for your everlasting good and concernment and be obedient to her and do not only be fondling but hearken seriously to her Counsel and take it in MARY come to me that I may give you one Kiss I am about to kiss you and this Kiss must be a witness of my true desire of your good I Kiss you in love and my very Kiss will be a witness against my Child if you do not tread in the steps of your PARENTS such as you have observed to be good O my dear Child be not careless therein I leave you now to the conduct of him who is my conducter To a Christian Friend who said we must be willing to part with you you have a Pisga-sight of Canaan he replied I think I am at the very end and yet I do not go out all the day long I am thirsting O blessed be my God I am perswaded he will perform all that concerneth me To another Christian Friend at his taking leave of him he said thus I expect again to see you and an innumerable company more of Saints c. He further spake with respect to his languishing Body If I could have something or other to refresh my Body if the Lord saw it fit but the whole Earth I think is insufficient for it April 25. This day being Wednesday which proved the day of his Death in the Morning he spake to a dear Friend a Minister saying The blessing of the everlasting Gospel be upon you the Lord be with you And about Eleven of the Clock he began to Change having several Agonies and between them he desired to be prayed for saying Lift up a Prayer for me and speak that I may hear you For whatsoever ye shall ask on Earth shall be granted in Heaven let then the Earth be full of Prayer And coming out of another fit said Hitherto hath the Lord helped me I am in the hand of God I am in his hand and under his promise the end of this affliction is in the hand of my God the Lord enable me to abide his Will And the 5th Fit or Agony which was ' twixt four and five of the Clock in the Afternoon he in that Breathed out his Soul into the Arms and Embraces of his dear Lord and Redeemer retaining his senses to the last for even a little before his Decease his Wife asking him how he did he answered with great composure I am almost Dead and desired to be lifted up a little higher which were the last words he spake and a few moments preceding his Departure he opened wide his Eyes and immediately closed them again and so Expired FINIS ERRATA PAge 7. line 16. read see for let p. 10. l. 26. dele and p. 29. l. 32. r. person for perso p. 35. l. 8. del word of the p. 61. l. 8. r. Vail for Vale p. 62. l. 9. r. therein for thereon p. 63. l. 15. r. very for ve p. 70. l. 3. r. converse for dally p. 100. l. 5. r. expatiating for expiating p. 104. l. 34. del he p. 124. l. 28. add him p. 143. l. 15. r. hast for has p. 160. l. 18. add he p. 188. l. 1. r. means for mens p. 203. l. 19. r. floweth for followeth p. 213. l. 14. r. clouds for glouds p. 306. l. 11. r. heart for heat p. 313. l. 5. r. omnipotent for omnipent p. 328. l. 23. r. the for lhe p. 327. l. 3. add not And for any other literal Errors or false Pointings which are very few and inconsiderable the Reader is desired to Correct