thee to inlighten my mind of those things which thou hast ordaided in heauen in the seate of thine eternity Yet ô Lord thou hast supplied that defect and hast led me by the hand to see the secrets of thine eternal wisedome thou hast in a manner rauished me and taken my soule out of my body to make it capable of the diuine light of thy wise purposes 25. In very deed when I enter into the consideration of these wonders my heart fainted and I fell into a swoune what is this ô my God my God what hast thou made mee to see God of my heart God of my thoughts God of my hope God whome I account all my wealth to loue whome I haue hence-forward destined all my affections I know now ô Lord what thou art how iust how mighty and I will neuer more be astonisht to see strange matters in this world the reason whereof I am not able to comprehend For thy councells are wondrous high this wisdome is merueilous deepe But in the ende ô LORD whatsoeuer thou disposest in this world endeth in iustice 26. For all those who forsake thine obedience and leaue thy fauour shall most miserably perrish all those which violate the faith of the alliance which they haue sworne vnto and yet serue their owne concupiscences and commit whoredome with the earth and their fleshly affections all those which polute their consciences and prostitute their soules to wickednesse and impious cogitations shal be rooted out and passe through the fury of thy reuenging hands 27 But as for me ô my God I will neuer depart from thee I will neuer hope for any other good but to be first ioyned to thy sides I will fixe mine eyes vppon thee to the end to obserue thy becke and to conforme my selfe to whatsoeuer thou desirest of me and I will follow steppe by steppe all that which thou shalt commaund me I meane to put all my trust in thee and seeing that I know thee to be al good and almighty as I steedfastly beleeue that thou louest mee I will likewise firmely beleeue that thou wilt ayde mee and giue me whatsoeuer shal be necessary for me ô how goodly and certaine is the hope which is builded on the promise of almighty God who hath giuen mee so many earnest pence of his bounty so many pawnes of his liberallitie and all to make me beleeue that the recompence which he hath promised me for seruing him faithfully is most certaine and sure Wherefore ô my GOD doest thou thus prodigally lode mee with blessings why doest thou promise mee such aboundance of them seeing there is in mee nothing but sinne and infirmitie 28. I know very well ô Lord that it is because I shall haue matter enough to spred abroad euery where of thine immense mercy and vnspeakable goodnesse to the end I may publish thy praise in all the gates in all the streetes of thy holy Sion that going vp into thine holy hill in the middest of those whom thou hast gathered together in thy Church to receiue thy blessings and to serue to thy glory I may acquaint them with the secrets of thy wisdome which thou hast pleased to reueale vnto mee And that directing my voyce by the stile which thy holy spirit hath framed I may bee able to vnfold the sacred mysteries of thine incomprehensible wisedome to the ende that as many as shall heare mee to discourse of the knowledge wherein thou hast instructed mee may admire not mee which am but an hoarce instrument of thy glory but the wonderfull effects of thy quickning spirit which shall animate mee to this godly holy and worthy worke And after ô Lord that thou hast a while kept vs at this stay in this earthly Sion lift vp our eies towards the holy Sion encourage vs to aspire to this blessed dwelling place and teach vs who they are vnto whom thou hast promised it and how wee ought to carry our selues to become worthy of so faire so holy and so glorious an habitation Domine quis habitabit in Tabernaculo Psalme 15. IT is thy pleasure then ô Lord thar this world to vs should be a wearisome Pilgrimage Al day long we walk vp downe in it and at night we can find no rest for our tired members If we thinke to lay downe our heads on our pillowes to giue slumber to our eye-liddes afflictions like so many flies disquiet vs and the very passions which are ingendred in our flesh like dangerous scorpions do waken and poison vs and at the last kill vs vnles we kil them on the wound What may we hope for seeing that as strength decreaseth our euills doe encrease seeing that on what side so euer wee turne our selues wee walke in the middest of this world and this world is euery where full of miseries Where shall wee then expect rest not in this miserable life where wee are sent like champions to the game to encounter with all manner of aduersities but onely ô Lord in thy Tabernacle in the sacred dwelling place of thy diuinity where our trauailes are to bee crowned O happy yea thrice happy hee for whom thou hast prepared this goodly and delectable place of retreate which will sweeten and comfort our passed griefes in the bosome of thy grace and refresh vs in the armes of thy mercy But who are they who shall one day dwell with thee as beholders of thy felicity and glorie for to heare so much as is spoken thereof that place is not accessible to all the world it is a place of fearefull heigth of infinite largenesse decked with incredible magnificence I can no otherwayes describe it then that it is a very high hill on the toppe whereof a maruailous goodly garden is to bee seene set with all sortes of flowers hedged in with an infinite number of fruit-trees watered with cleere and running fountaines it is verely an hill for to mount it it behooues vs to climbe vpon all sides on tribulations a hundred times harder then flint or rocks And in ascending it we must goe still farther and farther from the center of the earth that is to say from the loue thereof and to put all sensuall and earthly affections vnder foot It is indeed like a flourishing garden for there groweth seedes and causes of all thinges which do daily flourish with infinite faire effects and excellent workmanship it hath for compartiments the goodly disposing of the worlds parts so iustly measured as nothing more the fruits are the sweete and sauory contemplations of wisedome wherewith it nourisheth and filleth those soules that dwell there it hath for fountaines the springs gushing foorrh of the eternall goodnes which poures it selfe from on high into all the parts of the world doth continnually bath and refresh them O faire and holy hill who shall ascend thy toppe who shall rest in the very bosome of so goodly and so delectable a mansion 2. He who purified in the sacred flames of an
the Lord hath heard my prayer my teares haue ouercome his wrath and loe I enioy the frute of his holy fauor The brightnesse of his goodnesse hath shined vpon me and behold the mists wherin my head was wrapped are on a sodaine scattered and vanished away 9. I had skarce opened my lips to inuoke his ayde my heart did skarcely dispose it selfe to craue his pardon when as I felt his grace to bee shed vpon me to comfort and quicken my languishing soule euen as an hot bath doth the members of a poore Pilgrime tired with trauell oh incredible clemency how comes it to passe O Lord that thou art so ready to forgiue I ranne on to offend thee and thou came'st flying to giue me pardon I haue employed all the dayes of my life to seeeke both by sea and land matter for my ambition auarice and licentiousnes and after that I had engulphed and lost my selfe in mine owne pleasures thou pearced'st in a momēt the heauens and clowdes and cam'st to deliuer me So as now I triumphe ouer my sinne which followes the tropheis of my penitency the which hath found fauour in thy fight And in this manner my hope which mine offences had almost smothered is reuiued more then before doth promise me not onely the Empires of the world which houer where the Lord enclineth them but openeth the highest heauens vnto me and assureth mee after an happie life in this world the enioying of diuine immortallity What shall then mine enemies doe now when they shall see such felicity heaped vpon me They shall blush for shame and shall by greatly troubled in their mindes they shall retire themselues all confounded and astonished For he whome they thought to destroy is raised higher then euer he was Alas they mocked mine ashes they iested at my fasts they flouted my teares and whilest by abstinence I tamed my flesh the true enemy to my soule they did swimme in worldly delights but loe the arme of God was ready to thunder on their insolency ô my God giue them leasure to perceaue the extreame danger wherein they are and to begge from an high the onely remedy for their disease and as for me who feele my selfe purified from those filthinesses which compassed mee about which feele my soule enflamed with the fire of thy charity teach my lippes to set forth thy prayses adresse my voyce to resound thy mercy and direct mine affection to loue thee sincerely and to establish her cheefe happinesse and highest felicity in the knowledge of thy truth Beati quorum Psalme 31. HOw happy my God are those whose offences thou hast pardoned and whose sinns thou hast buried in a tombe of forgetfulnesse For alas what can become of him whom thou causest to endure the iust punishment for his sinnes an armie of miseries enuirons him pouerty assailes him sicknesse afflicts him famine oppresseth him and death it selfe which he thinketh to bee the hauen of this tempestuous nauigation is the bottomlesse pit to draw him into eternall torments 2. Thrice and foure times happy then are they of whom God demandeth none account of their actions but is satisfied so that they humble themselues before him acknowledging their infirmity and opening vnto him the depths of their hearts For his mercy is to bee called vpon by true confession and sincerity of conscience hee that will be heard must humble himselfe before him As hee which goeth to a fountaine puts downe the mouth of his vessell before hee can fill it with liqour in like manner it behooueth him to cast himselfe down before his creator which will draw and taste of the water of this sacred fountaine from whence distilleth the humour which alone can cleanse and purge our consciences 3. I did thinke sometimes oh my God to hide my faults from thee haue said vnto my selfe How can hee tell or not what I haue done In this manner my sinne waxed old in my bones and like the sores of a sick man who is ashamed and dares not shew his disease to the surgeon they doe increase and waxe worse till the whole body perrish in like manner the sinnes which I haue hidden from thee haue wholy infected me 4. But at the last thou hast in such sort day and night layde thy heauy hand vppon mee and hast caused mee to taste so many kindes of misfortunes betwixt which my soule liueth without rest quelled with a continual pricking in my consciēce which pierceth the very bottom of my heart as I haue acknowledged my falt the which I now carry in my hand Take notice of it ô my GOD but not in thine anger for the streaming teares which haue quenched with weeping the light of mine eyes ought likwise also to haue extinguished the heate of thy iust indignation And then am I not the worke of thine hands and that which is more the liuely image of thy diuinity who is hee so transported with choller which will breake in peeces the workmanship which hee hath so much delighted to polish and bring to perfection because it is a little foule and slubberd This image is loden with filthinesse I confesse but is it not much better to clense burnish it then to destroy it and tread it vnder foote 5. Teach me then my God what satisfaction I am to make for I haue now discouered vnto thee all those faults which before I did conceale The feare which possessed me then when I hid my selfe from thee now when I lay my selfe open vnto thee is turned into hope of fauor and pardon And now I cast my selfe into thine armes as my surest refuge with the selfe same countenance as the poore patient who shewing his wound to the Surgeon lookes attentiuely vpon him and manfully endureth the search and lancing for the desire and hope which hee hath to bee healed But that which giueth me most hope of health is that those vices wherein I delighted heertofore doe now make mee afraide to behold them as the meates where-with a man is stuffed in health doe afterwards make him sicke at the heart That which made mee fierce doth now make mee ashamed when I consider the danger of death wherevnto my pride had exposed my poore soule I thanke that day which first gaue mee the light to acknowledge my fault I did on that day my GOD receiue a singular testimony of thy goodnesse towards mee let it please thee then that the pleasure which I haue receyued in displeasing my selfe may continue with me as long as that which I tooke in my vices For if I can take as great contentment in my penitencie as I haue taken in my sinne my happinesse shall bee equall to that of thine Angels and by my humilation before thee I shall see my selfe exalted to the highest toppe of thy fauour 6. Who doubteth ô Lord that thou wilt not receiue mee to mercy thou whose meekenesse and benignity is not only vnspeakable but incomprehensible I did no sooner thinke of
me like a dead man in the caue of obscurity My soule is highly greeued within mee and mine heart is astonished like vnto his who walking with an erected countenance is by misfortune fallen into the bottome of some pit his sences are forth-with troubled he forthwith loseth his reason and torments himselfe hee knowes not what to will or do till calling his wits together he takes notice of the place where he is and the maner how he fell downe for then hee begins by little and little to get vp againe and to climbe with great labour from the place whereinto hee easily fell 5. Euen so I hauing called to memory from farre the remembrance of things past and representing to my selfe in a deepe meditation the workes of thine hands and considering exactly the things which thou hast wrought namely remembring the state wherein thou diddest create vs and then calling to minde that wherein I finde my selfe now as it were crusht downe in the ruines of sinne I curse the houre wherein my mother conceiued mee I detest the daye which first opened mine eye-liddes to cause mee to looke vppon heauen and earth the witnesses of my weaknesse and at last finding nothing in this world which can comfort mee in this distresse I come againe vnto thee 6. I fall downe on my knees before thee I lift vppe vnto thee mine armes and hands and my soule thirsteth after thy grace with as great a desire as the earth gaping with heate waiteth for a pleasing shower of raine in the hottest time of summer 7. Runne then hastily vnto me ô my God for I am already out of breath my courage faileth and loe I fall fainting downe wilt thou tarry till I am dead I am so already if thou make not the more hast for my sences faile by little and little my soule slideth sweetly out of my body leauing it without motion and I am like vnto him who is let bloud in his foote in hot water whose life runnes out with his bloud not feeling the cause of his death 8. Now ô Lord if thou keepest thy selfe farre from me turning thy countenance away I shall become like vnto those who goe downe into the bottome of the graue pale death will discolour my visage and benum my sences and that which is worsse spirituall death ô my God will kill my soule will fill it with feare and horror and bereaue it of the knowledge of thy singular goodnesse and the hope of grace which shineth in thy wonders like a glistering star in an obscure night 9. Cause me then betimes to vnderstand and feele the effects of thy mercy and in the morning when the sunne shall arise vpon the earth let thy clemency rise vpon me to enlighten mine ignorance and to direct mee in the way of thy commandements But let it not doe ô Lord like thy Sunne who at the end of his race plungeth it selfe in the sea hiding his light for a time from poore mortalls but let it perpetually assist me let it bee no more seperated from mee then my soule from my body for thy mercy is far more the soule of my soule then my soule is the life of my body 10. Let it not then leaue me let the brightnesse thereof still direct my pathes in thy waies let it still guide mee in the way which I must walke to come vnto thee For my spirit which hath throwne it selfe into the middest of the briers of this world which hath gonne astray amongest her thickest bushes can no more finde out her right way but walking at all aduentures loseth both her way and her labour going still back-wards from the place whether shee thought to arriue But my GOD I still waite for thy helpe I hope for succour from an high 11. I am prisoner in the hands of the cruellest enemies of my life make hast ô Lord to deliuer mee thou art my refuge receiue mee into thy protection teach mee what thou wouldest haue mee to doe for thou art my God vnto whome onely I now resolue my selfe to doe seruice Away far far from mee deceitfull pleasure which hereto fore diddest bewitch my soule and poyson my mind thou hast by thy lickorish delights inueigled me and with a little honney thou hast made me swallow a most bitter and deadly pill which spredding it selfe thorow my members hath in such sort mortified and made me giddy as there is small difference betwixt mee and a dead person and my body is not only thus mortified but my soule likewise wherein consisteth the originall of my life present and to come 12. It behooueth then thine holy spirit to come vnto me to warme againe my dying soule to take it by the hand to leade it into safety and to quicken it imprinting in it the image of thy righteousnesse which may defend it against the temptation which on eueryside doth beseege it and threaten her ruine 13. Thou wilt come then and at thine arriuall thou shalt draw my soule out of trouble and in shewing mercy vnto me thou shalt destroy all those which haue conspired against me Then shall my greefe haue an end and theirs beginne it shal be a beginning of their forrow which shall neuer end but as riuers rising out of their springs run on stil bigger bigger vntill they fall into the bosome of the sea which hath no bottome euen so shall their miseries encrease and at the last shall heape vpon them extreame torments and infinite distresse In this manner shall all those perish which vex my soule for ô GOD I am thy faithfull seruant whome thou hast remembred and thou wilt not forget those who in disdaine of my Lord haue so shamefully abused me they laughed at my misery but the time drawes on when they shall bewayle their owne Thy vengeance begins to bee kind bee against them and they shall wither like leaues vpon the trees at the approach of winter O GOD what glory shall I giue vnto thy name and how shall I beginne to declare thy praise shall I publish thy goodnesse in the creation of so many wonderfull workes which are vnderneath the sun thy wisedome in thy preseruation of them shall I preach thy Iustice in the condemnation and punishment of the pride of the Angels and disobedience of men Shall I sing of thy mercy in the redemption of those who offending thy lawe had throwne themselues head-long into the bondage of eternall death to what part of thy prayses may the humble sound of my voyce attaine and though my voyce were able what eares are capable to receiue it All things faile mee ô Lord in this businesse except courage and will which full of feruent affection doe crye out vnto thee Ayde with thy grace their weake strength and seeing the teares of my penitence haue washed away the filth of sinne wherewith my soule was heauily loden giue it now the winges of faith and hope which may carry it with a swift flight into thine armes to reunite
only the hands of my body ô my God but those of my soule which are my affections the which I haue wash ed and purified in the torrent of my teares 14. I haue done pennance and haue all day long scourged my selfe beating my hart with continuall sighes peircing it with sharpe contrition and haue driuen away by force of my bloudy teares that viscuous humor which had ouerflowed my will with very bitter gall Euery morning when I arose I cryed thee mercy for my sinnes and I haue detested mine offences I did euery day awake with this purpose and with it I beganne my dayes worke 15. I said to my selfe lo this is al I can say those which feare God and serue him are aflicted those which blaspheme him are at their ease And therevpon I beganne to detest the condition of those which glory ô Lord in being thy children thy chosen and went foreward and said Are these they who are called the children of the Almighty God surely they are reprobate children seeing that others possesse the inheritance of theit father and they in the meane time are in extreame pouerty The other who ouerflow in wealth and vnto whom God is so fauourable and indulgent are his children this name belongs vnto them because they enioy his benefits and are next him masters ouer his workes 16. As for my selfe to speake truly I thought that the matter went thus I could not chuse but vexe and torment my selfe and said alasse my God how comes this to passe can it be thus seeing thou hast pronounced threatnings against the wicked and prepared punishment for them in a word I was in extreame perplexity 17. But at the last I perceiued what thy purpose was and I peirced to the bottome of thy sanctuary I entred as I thought into thy holy consistory and there learn'd thy meaning heerin For after that I had resolued my selfe to wait the end which thou hast prepared for such people I knew foorth with that thy iustice neuer lies though it be somtimes long ere it come it recompenceth her slownesse by the rigor of the punishmeÌ„t I then stedfastly determined to behold what would become of these people 18. Truly at the last thou didest pay them home thou didest giue them the reward of their mischeefe and deceit For when they thought themselues to be at the toppe of their greatnesse loe thou madest them leape downe into the pitte of misery All their pompe and magnificence all their ritches were in the end like to an high and lofty scaffold which they ascended to giue them the more shamefull downefall 19. Good God what discomfort what desolation there is nothing at all round about them but lamentations all their officers and vshers runne vp and downe beating their brests and alwaies hanging downe their heades like vnto a flower which is much beaten with the raine and is also pittyed of those men who were wont to enuy them They doe pittifully behold the ruines of their Idoll and perceiue how madde they were to make a wretched mortall man their God who was but smoake and winde For if a man consider their end hee may see how in a moment they are vanished there is nothing so short as the way from their greatnesse to their ruine the change was so sodaine as sight could not comprehend it They were heere they were there they were and are no more their foote-steps can hardly bee perceiued to this passe hath their finne brought them it layde snares a long time for them loe at the last they are fallen into it Whilest it vndermined the foundation of their house they went vp to the top thereof to the end their fall might bee the higher They still went vpwards and thought all beneath them to bee their owne but at the last they went vp so high as they lost themselues in the ayre before they could come downe to the ground and so vanished like the wind 20. They became like vnto dreames from which wee awake for as men say when they awake I did but dreame this or that euen so when such men are gone the people will say The greatnesse of these men was but a dreame it was a meere vanity and folly which had nothing in it sure and certaine For thou wilt in such sort abolish their memory as no man shall think of them but to deride their pride and to condemne their insolency It shall be said loe these are the ruines of their houses these places belonged to these proud sirs who cared neither for God nor men who tooke delight in all manner of euill and filthinesse who built them so many houses with the boanes of poore people and cimented their pallaces with the bloud of the needy behold there remaines nothing of what they haue heeretofore beene but the markes of their shame lightening fell vpon them and consumed them to nothing 21. We must not ô Lord iudge rashly of thy prouidence he that will consider rightly thereof must with patience attend the end must be directed by thy spirit and inuoke it for his guide and comfort For whilst my heart boyled with anger and that for very spâ—te I fetched great sighes from the bottome thereof and that all the partes of my body were in a sweate I had almost lost my selfe and yet neuerthelesse it was to no purpose at all for after all this vexation I was as wise and well resolued as before 22. I was so troubled as I could not tell whether I were a beast or a man nay verily I was like a beast and I could comprehend no more then if I had wholy lost mine vnderstanding But neuerthelesse I still held fast my hope in thee and the more I perceiued my sence and iudgement to faile the faster did I runne vnto thee and humbly besought thee to open my minde and to cause mee to vnderstand thy will 23. Thou diddest take mee by the hand and gently sette mee in the right way of thy will thou diddest acquaint mee with thy purpose Thou hast done more then that for as I thinke thou diddest open mine eyes and heauen at one instant where I did see the fulnesse of thy glory I say ô Lord that thou diddest cause mee to see it for it is a thing that without thee no mortall man canne attayne vnto 24. For alas what should such a poore and weake creature as I am seeke in heauen that cannot well see that which is vnder my feete nor perceiue but with much a doe that which is before mee on earth my bodyly eyes are very dim but those of my soule are much more The cogitations of men are full of weakenesse and vncertaintie for the earthly and corruptible body doth dull our spirits and staketh our sences to the ground So as without thee I can hope for nothing in this base world nor promise to my selfe certaine knowledge of any thing How can I beeing on earth iudge without thy helpe and vnlesse it please
dares make mee none answer O my God thou hast created mee of dirt and clay and loe I am now such an one as I was before thou tookest me in hand I haue put off my beauty and comlinesse and put on dirt and filthinesse But my God wherefore doost thou not new make me is thine arme waxed short doost thou want will to doe good to thy creature alas thou art Almighty all good wherefore then dooest thou tarry Thy workemanship ô Lord grew obstinate against thee and tooke pleasure in diffiguring and deforming it selfe bee thou obstinate against thine handy-worke and make it faire and perfect yea euen in despight of it but my God I will bee no more stubborne hold mee take mee in hand turne mee as thou pleasest repayre this dirte renew it refresh it with new coullours it is ready to obey thy will But ô Lord when as thou shalt haue wholy renewed it forsake it not for all that put a bridle in his mouth which by abstinence may keepe it from gluttony wherevnto it is proane by chastitie it may quench the impudent heates of voluptuousnesse which warmeth it by humility it may beat downe pride which biting enuie raiseth vp in her let pittifull charity driue hatred and the hunger of couetousnesse farre from it let the care to serue and honor thee be a continuall spurre in the sides of her slothfull and blockish negligence 3. For otherwise my God I haue made too great proofe of these vices which enuiron mee they will in such sorte teare and dismember thy workmanship as at thy comming thou shalt find nothing but the fragments thereof all bruzed and broken I haue had such experience of them it is they who haue brought mee into the state wherein now I am and I now perceiue them standing round about mee to reproach mee with those blottes where with they themselues did defile me and to make me guilty of the wrongs which they haue done to mee How hast thou sinned say they how foule and deformed art thou become 4. Indeed I haue sinned I confesse it my God behold I offer the bottom of my heart vnto thee take notice of my whole life I haue sinned before heauen and earth and the whole world is witnesse of my misdeeds But if I had not sinned vnto whome wouldest thou shew mercy how wouldst thou discharge thy selfe of the promises of grace which thou hast so long declared by thy Prophets when thou shalt come to sit vpon the eternall throne of thy Iustice if wee were all iust who would stand in feare of thee But to the end thy greatnesse may bee knowne it behooueth vs when wee shall bee summoned before thee humbly to fall downe vpon our faces and to cry out Bee midle ô Lord for wee come not to excuse our selues before thee our fault is notorious but loe our pardon stands ready thou thy selfe hast giuen it vs behold it signed with thy bloud sealed with thine image which for our redemption was imprinted in the weakenesse of the flesh 5. Diddest thou expect O my God that when I should present my selfe before thee I would make a rampier of mine innocencie or that I was so blinde of vnderstanding to go about to iustifie my selfe in thy presence Alas ô Lord I know that I was nothing but sinne before I was borne my mother thought to bring forth a childe and shee was deliuered of sinne it had been much better for her if so prodigious a burthen had prooued abortiue which shameth the tree which bare it the earth which nourished and heauen which ripened it I was fedde with sinne in my mothers wombe I suckt it with her milke and loe it grew vppe in such sort with mee as it ouer-shaddoweth mine head and blindeth mine eyes 6. But when I perceiue the eyes of my body to be dazeled I then open the eyes of my minde and begin to discerne a farre off the beame of thine infallible truth and to acknowledge the wonderfull secrets of thy wisedome which thou hast reuealed vnto mee Then my soule abandoning the impurity of my body liftteth her selfe vppe vnto heauen and pearceth thorowe his incredible light and lookking vpon the booke of Eternity shee therein readeth the treatye of the new allyance which thou wilt make with mankinde then returning into her wretched body shee filleth it with hope and ioy and promiseth it an assured victorie ouer his sinne 7. For shee learned in heauen how thou wouldest take the branch of odoriferous Hisope in hand and sprincle vpon mee the water of purification thou wilt wash mee and I shall become whiter then snowe there shall no one spotte of sinne bee seene on mee What manner of washing-lye will that bee ô LORD which shal be made with the ashes of my sinnes consumed by the fire of thy charity with the water of teares which my repentance shall distill from my hart and in the sun-shine of thy grace our laments shal be dried vp which shall cause new spirituall ioy to grow vp in vs and at the last will make vs so white in the purity of righteousnesse as we shall one day shine brighter then the starres in the firmament 8. We shall then heare the delectable sound of the trumpet of saluation which wil proclaime grace and mercy vnto all those who will receaue it Wee shall then see rotten and consumed bones to rise vp out of their graues to be partaker of this vniuersall ioye wherevnto thou hast inuited the whole world 9. Now to the end I may at that time appeare before thee in such honorable equipage as so noble a magnificence doth deserue put all my offences ô my God vnder thy feete bury them in the center of the earth to the end that noe eye may behold them seperate mee for euer from mine iniquitie from hence-forth I renounce it and sweare an irreconcileable diuorcement from her 10 Behold my soule which I offer vnto thee make it pure and cleane powre a new spirit into mine heart which may conceiue nothing but holinesse and righteousnesse Establish therein ô Lord God the mansion house of thy holy spirit to the end that hence-forth I may thinke wish nor breath any thing but thy praises let thy will bee alwayes imprinted in my minde and thy glory written in my lips 11. When thou shalt haue thus clothed decked me with pietie and integrity I shall then be assured that nothing shal be able to seperate mee from thy presence and then as the true bred Eagle looketh directly vpon the Sunne euen so will I fixe mine eye vppon the face of thine Eternitie and will beholde in thy wonderfull countenance all those perfections which now I can not conceaue thine holy spirit shall neuer more depart out of mine heart it shall carry me on the winges of zealous charity into thy bosome there to make mee an associate of that celestiall ioy 12. Let me then quickly tast the sweetnes of this immortall life saue me sodainly
admirable face of thine Thy warth ô Lord is onely vpon such as glory in their sinne and wax stubborne in their iniquity But I thy seruant doe humble my selfe before thee and doe acknowledge that being an vnworthy sinner as I am I durst not appeare in thy presence but that thy clemēcy brings me before thee Thou shalt not then reiect me for thou must forthwith then reiect thy mercy wherevnto I am so strictly bound and tied that as it is not to be seperated from thee euen so can it not bee seauered from my penitence 15. If it please thee then thou shalt dwell with me and seeing it hath pleased thee to aduouch mee for thy seruant and to put mee to this combat thou shalt not forsake mee therein otherwise my destruction would turne to thy shame whereas my victorie will redound to thy glory Now ô Lord cause this ayde to be continually with me For as mine owne infirmity doth ordinarily fight against mee euen so is it needfull that my succour should euer bee at hand If thou estrange thy selfe from mee neuer so little my soule will vanish away in the same maner as would my body by the losse of my soule For thou ô Lord art more the soule of my soule then my soule is the life of my body I do very well know that in mee thou shalt finde a dwelling place in no sort worthy thy diuine Maiestie yet for all that disdaine not to enter into mee where thou commest all magnificence abounds and where thou art there is alwaies honor enough Thou doest not ô Lord honor thy selfe by visiting me but thou thereby doest honor vnto mee thy poore seruant wherefore shouldest thou leaue the brightnesse of the heauens and the glistering of the starres to come downe here on earth to so dishonorable a subiect But as I thinke thou dooest it to giue warning to thine Angels not to growe proud in their magnificence in regarde they are thy creatures and that thou art able to make the basest dweller vpon earth as glorious as they That is the reason why thou descendest from heauen to shew mercy vpon vs and bearing a part in our misery thou commest to re-establish vs in our ancient perfection And because we as much as in vs was haue defaced the image of the diuinity which thou hadst imprinted in vs thou of thine especiall grace commest to renew those beauties and sparkes of our first nature It is thou then which art not onely content to bee our Creator but our redeemer likewise and as thou art our father in like manner it pleaseth thee to bee our protector and defender When all the world forsooke vs thou stretchedst out thine armes vnto vs and diddest receiue vs vnder the wings of thy clemencie 16. I stood in great neede thereof for I knew no more whether to goe My father and mother had forsaken mee that father I say who had tenderly fed and brought mee vp did abhorre mee when hee perceiued that I delighted wholy in thee and that I had left the vanities of this world They beheld mee with sorrow and accounted mee for a lost child The kinde embraces of my bretheren were conuerted into disdaine the sweet friendship of my sisters changed to contempt and the louing welcomes of my friends turned into derision Whether now should I make retreate If my deerest friends vse mee in this manner what will mine enemies doe whose mouth is all bitternesse and tongue poyson whose actions and ordinary exercises are wrongs and reproches But when I am most of all forsaken then art thou neerest vnto mee then doest thou most fauourably embrace mee and most liberally powrest vpon mine head the treasures of thy mercy 17. Now seeing it pleaseth thee in this aboundant manner to bestow thy grace vpon mee to the end I may be able to keep it teach mee how I ought to serue thee Learne mee thy law and how to direct my paths to walke alwayes aright in this narrow thornie way which should conduct mee to the hauen of health For ô Lord I haue left long since that easie beaten way strewed with earthly pleasures and which leadeth those that follow it to destruction and damnation Shew mee then my God thy way for vnder such a guide I shall neuer goe astray shew it I say vnto me ô Lord for if I stray neuer so little I am vndone mine enemies watch to surprise mee and to finde matter to dishonor mee and thy selfe likewise because they know I serue thee truely and faithfully 18. Giue mee not ouer then into their hands to do with me after their hearts desire for they would soone depriue mee both of life and honour They haue already laide their plotte inuented a thousand accusations practised a world of witnesses but their lyes returne vppon themselues and beare witnesse against them Falsehood cannot bee hidden shee lyeth open and truth pierceth it thorow on all sides It is compounded of peeces ill ioyned together which fall a sunder at the first blowe they receiue and beeing opposed against innocencie it melts away like Snowe before the sunne 19. But if as they desir they should heape slanders vpon me and smother me vnder the burthen of their wrongs I would not for all that be discouraged I haue not put my trust ó Lord in the richesse and honours of this world they are commonly the portion of the wicked they are for the most part the rewardes of their perfidious wickednesse and deceits this marchandize is commonly bought with none other money All my trust and hope ô Lord is in thee the world is not able to containe it the fruit of my labours dooth not grow in the land of the dead it is in the land of the liuing that I waite to gather them there doe I hope to see my wealth nay rather thine ó my GOD. Other men looke for the fruite after the blossome but I expect it after the fall of the leafe After that the leafe of my body shall bee fallen I hope that my soule shall flourish with new fruite and shall bee cloathed with the eternall verdure of immortallity 20. Bee patient then my soule and beare thy selfe valiantly redouble thy courage and waite till my GOD come towards thee Bee not astonisht at the prosperitie of the wicked feare thou not though they doe oppresse good men And because thou seest ó Lord that I am not strong enough of my selfe assist and vnderproppe mee least that the affections of the wicked cause mee to remooue foorth of the place where thou diddest set mee second my feruent zeale to the end that hauing fought valiantly in the assault which the wicked make vppon mee I may stand ready when thou shalt open the gate and beeing entred in triumph with thee I may sitte at thy feete at such time when thou shalt iudge the quick and the dead Then wee shall see the great difference betwixt their liues and ours and what reward attends them they haue
to haue in his fauour How happy are they whom the sundry encounters of this world could neuer shake in their assurance of the diuine iustice how great and praise-worthy is the constancie of such people 12. For to speake truth my foote did often-times slip in this way I did often slide and almost fell to the ground Like vnto those who ascend a sharpe and thornie passage when they feele them-selues pricked with some thorne or bryer doe presently with the paine let goe their hold whereby they went vp and forth with tumble down vnlesse they bee soone stayed euen so ô my God whilst I take vpon me to iudge of thy works and to behold how thou disposest thy graces being pricked grieued at the prosperity of the wicked I fetch many false steps and am ready to fall head-long downe and to iudge amisse of thy wisedome and iustice 13. How comes it to passe say I that people which know not God but to blaspheme him who thinke they haue hired him to serue their libidinous and peruerse affections who care not otherwise for him but only to haue him serue for a coulour to their wickednesse and for a maske to their iniquities that they should neuerthelesse reape the fruite of his fauor and possesse in peace and quiet the very creame of his blessings I confesse it ô my GOD that I am iealous of their prosperity and I enuy it and it seemeth vnto mee that it is altogether against reason 4. What man that beholds them will say that they should euer die who is it but would thinke that they had purchased of thee at a price immortality in this world and parted stakes with thee of an eternall continuance in all felicity In other matters of this world some change is seene which sheweth that of necessety an end must follow but in their happinesse is such firmnesse descerned as it seemeth that they still encreasing as they doe will at last attayne thy infinitenesse and seate them-selues in thine Heauenly throne for there is no manner of likely-hood to imagine that any thing should hurt them nor that the least misfortune should once draw neere the lustre of such magnificence It is a matter incredible to thinke that any euell should hurt their pretious bodies enuironed with such numbers of excellent riches 5. Other men waxe crooked with trauaile labour is their trade of life they are borne in teares and grow vp in sighs they waxe olde in lamentations the sea is oftener free from winde then their life from torment so many arrowes stick not about a white as miseries and aflictions are seene to encompasse other men But these men only are free and safe and with a firme and smooth course of life they bath themselues with ease in the pleasures of this world and make the calamities of honest people and such as feare God their only sport and pastime Who hath seene a tyrant from a theater to behold his slaues fighting with Tygers Lions and to feed his cruell eies and heart with the inhumane sight of those poore dismembred creatures in the selfe same manner doe these vile wretches feed their wishes with the sight of the aflictions which scourge the innocent 7. Oh how proud and arrogant it makes them they think that the earth was made only for them and that it is not bigge enough to hold them As for the other sort they behold them at one side and it seemeth that they enuie that they liue and they scornefully mutter these words shall we neuer be rid of these rascalls wil they still be in our sight Then they say among themselues what is this fellow but a varlet that man but a foole So in loue are they with themselues that they account nothing in this world goodlier then themselues they adore them-selues like Gods they serue their owne lusts reuerence their owne passions so as they are couered ouer head and eares with pride rapine and iniustice 7. They are fatte onely with mischeefe their bodies are not so larded with fatte as their soules with sinnes All manner of villainy and abhomination dwells in their consciences all their thoughts and wishes tend to filthinesse they fixe their eies onely therevpon their fingers itch at it they haue none other minde nor affection and mallice doth animate and giue motion to their bodies 8. Yee shall see them so soone as they haue a long time thought on their sinne chewed their euell plottes and executed some wicked enterprise how they will glorie in them braue the world and talke as though they had authority for whatsoeuer they did If there were any shame in them they would at leastwise satisfie them-selues with their licentious outrages exercized vpon men and not thus vilanously blaspheame and curse the sacred name of God 9. But what ô my God they haue listed vp their heads against Heauen they haue scornefully beheld the seate of thy greatnesse as if they should say what is there to bee compared vnto vs To vs who do what wee list in this world who haue aboundance of all things As for the earth they vouchsafe not to looke on it or if in pitty they cast their eyes on it they say what is this earth but that which cloyes vs with her aboundance wearies vs with hir fruitfulnesse 10. This is truely the reason ó Lord why all the people beeing amazed come together in heapes to view this prodigy and runne from all partes to behold this spectacle and they are mute to see this wonder they are there fixed and looke one vppon another 11. At the last they waxe impatient and beginne to murmur What doth not God who seeth all things perceiue this Is it not hee which hath this greate all-seeing eye who bath beheld things before they were created sees them in their beeing and force-sees their end Is not his prouidence saide to bee as great in the gouernment of the world as his goodnesse was wonderfull in the creation thereof If hee hath disposed all things in order if hee hath created by measure if his iustice bee present in the gouernement of the world what doth hee at this time where doth hee now sleepe 12. Behold the wicked haue seazed on his benefits and possesse the wealth of the world a man would thinke that al was made for them ritches raines downe vpon them honours enters their houses in heapes happinesse laies hold on them perforce they desire and haue they wish and obtaine 13. And at the last I my selfe haue likewise said my God how comes this to passe I haue in vaine iustified myne hart and ruled mine actions according to thy commandements I haue despoiled my selfe of al affections for to loue nothing but thee I haue circumcized my heart from all euill desires I haue fettered my will in thy law to the end it might only serue thy glory eschew sinne and sinners I kept company with the innocent and haue lifted vp my hands with them not