maid to her daughter Good clothes hide much deformity What rare men Taylors are Men may meet but not mountains Therefore you see when Mahomet bid the Hill come to him it would not stir 't was so lazie He that wants shame shall never win credit How is that great vertue impudence here abused He that is ashamed to eat is ashamed to live If a man could live as long as he could eat I make no question but that he might easily be perswaded to lose his shame and put in sureties for the eternity of his stomach As shamefac't as a sow that slaps up a sillabub Those are your Whitson-Holiday sows that swill up whole milk-pails in the field till you may follow them home by the leakage of their tap-holes He never goes out of his way that goes to a good house This was a maxim observed by Taylor the Water-Poet in his long vacation voyages He that cannot fight let him run 'T is a notable piece of Matchavilian policy A fools bolt is soon shot That made the Gentlewoman shit in the Exchange A gentle shepherd makes the wolf shite wool 'T is a very fine way to be eased of the trouble of sheep-shearing Good words cost nothing Vnless it be Dedications and Love Verses for some men do pay for them Better may a mans foot slip then his tongue trip Commonly the tripping of the tongue and the slipping of the foot happen both together Now if a man be late abroad 't is better that his tongue should trip then his foot slip for he may chance to fall in the street and have a coach go over him Some men may better steal a horse then others look on For 't is fit that he that took least pains should have least profit When thieves fall out true men come by their own For as Philip the great King of Macedon well said Concord upholdeth all societies Therefore 't is high time for thieves to be hang'd when they cannot agree among themselves A liquorish huswife seldom makes thick pottage For she puts all her Oatmeal in Caudles Hungry dogs love dirty puddings There 's many a man hath lost his Nose by verifying this Proverb He 'l make you believe a Hare lays eggs See Browns vulgar Errors 'T is an ill winde blows no body good After meat comes mustard For their teeth watered so much after the meat that it was impossible their eyes should water after the mustard He that holds a frying-pan by the tail may turn it which way he lists See more of this in Alexius his secrets or in Aristotles book of the dyet of the Phisolophers cap. 6. of the manner of making pancakes Better no pies then pies made with scabby hands Wink and all 's well for what the eye sees not the heart never rues He that is born to be hang'd shall never be drown'd VVell fare him that is born to be hang'd say I for he goes to heaven in a string when he that is drown'd goes to hell in a ferry-boat A wary father has a prodigal son He is to be commended for not letting his fathers estate lie fallow for if he will not sow again after his great harvest his son must A man cannot make a cheverel purse of a sow's ear Ye cannot tell what a man may do there are very notable projectors living now adays Like will to like quoth the Devil to the Collier Gentlemen ye need not wonder how the Collier and the Devil came to be familiar for he is fain to keep in with that trade that he may buy his provision at the best hand against he goes to to set up his Pye corner calling MISCELANIA Fancy awakened Natural Amorous Moral Experimental Paradoxical Enigmatical Jesting and Jovial Questions with their several Answers and Solutions Davus es huc venias mox eris Oedipus alter Q. Why did Apelles paint Cupid with these words Spring-time and Winter A. By those two seasons he represented the prosperities and adversities that wait on Lovers Q Why do lovers blush on the bridal night A. Out of natural shamefastness of what they are about to do Q. What is the difference betwixt an honest and dishonest woman A. A word Q. Why do whores paint A. That they may have some colour for there Venery Q. VVhat differences a woman from a man A. Meum tuum Q. VVhy do they use to paint Cupid bare-headed A. To signifie that betwixt true lovers there should be nothing covered or concealed Q. What is the greatest wonder in a little circuit A. The face of a man Q. VVhat said the Squire when he found his man Harry in bed with his own Curtizan A. Well done Harry after me is manners Q. VVhat if there had not ben been an Act against building A. That they would have built from the So Ho to Branford Q. VVhat did the old Book-sellers Dedication Horse cost him that he use to ride on up and down the countrey A. Go look Q. What are the attendants on love A. Pleasure travel sweet bitter war peace life and death Q. What are the joyes of love A. Plays sweet sleeps soft beds ravishing musick rich perfumes delicious wines costly banquets wanton refreshing and such other soft and ravishing contentments Q. Why do the Poets bestow arrows on Cupid A. To Signifie how desperately love wounds Q. Why are the lips moveable A. For the forming of the voice and words Q. How many veins are there in the body of a man A. As many as there are days in a year Q. Why do some stammer and some lisp A. By reason of the shrinking of the sinnews which are corrupted by flegm Q. Why are we colder after dinner then before A. Because that the natural heat retireth to the stomack to further digesture Q. What Lady was that which daunced best at the Ball in Lincolns-inn-fields A. She whose foot slipping fell on her back Q. What reply was made to him that said He did not use to give the wall to every Cockscomb A. But I do Sir and so gave him the wall Q. What is an ordinary Fencer A. For flesh and blood he is like other men but sure nature meant him for a Stock fish Q. Where is reputation measured by the acre A. In the countrey Q. What are the outward signs of the body to judge of the inward disposition of the mind A. A head sharp and high crown'd imports an ill affected mind tallness of stature dullness of wit little eyes a large conscience great ears kin to Midas an ass spacious breasted long lined smooth brows without sorrow liberality a beautiful face denotes the best complexion soft flesh to be the most apt and wise to conceive and so c. Q. Who was famous for his memory A. Seneca who writes of himself that he was able to recite two thousand names after they had been once read to him Q. What will never be out of fashion A. The getting of Bastards Q. When is a Cuckolds Almanack
pearl ye may behold From between which a breath of Amber flows A more then Tyrean purple doth o'respread Her lips which softer are Then the Swans down and smoother far The costly juice that dwells In Oriental shells To them looks pale they are so purely red Fair Cheeks that look like blushing roses plac't In purest Ivory Or Coral within snow enchas'd The Glories of the Spring Grow pale and languishing For envy so out-shin'd by them to be Sweetly triumphing Eyes That in two Crystal prisons do contain Death in affrown's disguise How gladly would I die to be by those eyes slain Delightful cruelty Of those all charming Eyes That have on one design'd to try With what a pleasing empire they can tyrannize The Melancholy Lover HIther I come delightful groves To spend my sighs and make my moan To whose still shades it best behoves To make my plaints and sorrows known And these gentle trees invite To pity my disconsolate plight 'T is rigorous love that doth torment This disturbed heart of mine But of a Creature so Divine That I ought not to repent To have loved though unlov'd again The sole author of my pain Is bright Sylvia gentle bowrs To your gloomy walks unknown Who loves to spend the harmless hours Among silent groves alone Hnd can with her presence bright To the darkest shades give light Sylvia hath about her charms Nations able to subdue And can conquer with those arms More then mightiest Kings can do But I that am her chiefest aim Am destin'd to the greatest flame I die Sylvia when I behold Those eyes that set on fire my heart Yet I for love is uncontroll'd Greedy and fond of my own smart And captive to my misery Love to behold those Stars and die To his Mistriss falsly accusing him WRong me no more In thy complaint Blam'd for inconstancy I vow'd to adore The fairest Saint Not chang'd while thou wer't she But if another thee out-shine Th' inconstancy is only thine To be by such Blind Fools admir'd Gives thee but small esteem By whom as much thou 'dst be desir'd Did'st thou less beautious seem Sure why they love they know not well Who why they should not cannot tell Women are by themselves betray'd And to their short joys cruel Who foolishly themselves perswade Flames can outlast their fuel None though Platonick their pretence With reason love unless by sense And he by whose command to thee I did my heart resign now bids me chuse a Deity Diviner far then thine No power from love can beauty sever I 'me still loves subject thine was never The fairest she whom none surpass To love hath only right and such to me thy beauty was till one I found more bright But were as impious to adore thee now as not t' have don 't before Nor is it just by Rules of Love Thou shouldst deny to quit a heart that must anothers prove even in thy right to it Must not thy subjects captives be To her who triumphs over thee Cease then in vain to blot my name With forg'd Apostacy thine is that stain who dar'st to claim what others ask of thee Of Lovers they are only true Who pay their hearts where they are due To his false Mistriss CElio remains disconsolate forsaken of his cruel Lover Who not asham'd to violate Her faith doth for her false heart discover Oft do I her hard heart bemoan Inveigh on her unconstant mind Oft blame my self for doting on a thing more sickle then the wind Sometimes unhappy men he deem'd her absence might have quench'd his flame But now more and fair then e're she seem'd his flames increase through her disdain Now nought is left me but dispair My adverse fate brought me to see Things distant most admired are enjoyment breeds satiety I go to see the fair unkind whom her new Lovers arms immure Me she vouchsas'd not once to mind in her inconstancy secure Was 't not enough Phillis said I that thy deceitful charming wiles Should cheat my fond credulity that thou seekst others to beguile If amidst these thy new delights Thou hapst no time to think on me Think how awakn'd conscience frights Think Phillis on thy perjury Longer to grieve I see 't is vain Longer my troubled thoughts to vex Phillis triumph in her disdain Phillis the falsest of her sex Resolution to Love I Wonder what the Grave and Wise Think of all us that love Whether our pretty fooleries Their mirth or anger move They understand not breath that words do want Our sights to them are unsignificant One of them saw me t'other day Touch thy dear hand which I admire My soul was melting straight away And dropt before the fire This silly Wiseman who pretends to know Ask'd why I look'd so pale and trembled to Another from my Mistriss dore Saw me with watry eyes to come Nor could the hidden cause explore But thought some smoak was in the room Such ignorance from unwounded learning came He knew tears made by smoak but not by flame If learn'd in other things you be And have in Love no skill For God sake keep your arts from me For I 'le be ignorant still Study or actions others may embrace My Love 's my business and my Book 's her face These are but trifles I confess Which me weak mortal move Nor is your busie seriousness Less trifling then my love The wisest King who from his sacred brest Pronounc'd all vanity chose it for the best Tyranny in Love BLind Cupid lay thy Bow aside Thou dost know its use For Love thy Tyranny doth shew Thy kindness is abuse Thou who wer't call'd a Pretty Boy Art thought a Skeleton For thou like death dost still destroy When thou dost strike at one Each vulgar hand can do as much Then Heavenly skill we see When we behold two Arrows touch Two marks that distant be Love always looks for joy agen If e're thou woundst mans heart Pierce by the way his Rib and then He 'l kiss not curse thy dart Against Love NOw fie on love it ill befits Or Man or Woman know it Love was not meant for people in their wits And they that fondly shew it Betray their too much feather'd brains And shall have Bedlam only for their pains To Love is to distract my sleep And waking to wear fetters To Love is but to go to School to weep I 'le leave it for my betters If single love be such a curse To marrie is to make it ten times worse The Maiden-head THou worst estate even of the sex that 's worst Therefore by nature made at first T' attend the weakness of our birth Slight outward Curtain to the nuptial Bed Thou cause to buildings not yet finished Who like the Center of the Earth Dost heaviest things attract to thee Though thou a point imaginary be A thing God thought for mankind so unfit That his first blessing mind it Cold frozen nurse of fiercest fires Who like the parched plains of
men A. Because they are ashamed to talk of an unhansom business that is already past Q. What is the benefit of sneezing A. To purge the expulsive power and vertue of the sight Q. Why are all the senses in the head A. Because the brain is there on which all the senses do depend Q. How should a man behave himself to a coy Lady A. As if he were in the field to charge her home Q. Why is wit compared to brush-wood and judgment to tinder A. Because one gives the greatest flame and the other yields the durablest heat but both meeting together make the best fire Q. Why is a soldier so good an antiquary A. Because he hath kept the old fashion when the first bed was the ground Q. Why may Aretin be accounted an expert artillery man A. Because he gave directions for the postures Q. When does the world end with an old man A. When he begins to dote on a young wench Q. what replied the fellow when one bid him hold his horse A. He said it was but one mans work he might do it himself Q. What is reported of the Executioner A. That if he do not mend his Manners he is likely to trust his life to the mercy of one of his own trade Q. What said one to a Lady that had so many patches on A. That she could not well laugh for fear of shewing of two faces Q. VVhat is a bawd A. She is a charcoal that hath been burnt her self and therefore is able to kindle a whole copper Q. How did Master Not of the Inns of Court love a citizens wife A. Like any thing Q. what is the most lascivious part of a woman A. Her rowling eye Q. what said the Vintner of Southwark when the Parson killed his wife in the Percullis A. By and by anan anan Sir I come I come Sir by and by Q. Why is love painted with flowers in one hand and a fish in another A. To show that without any contestation he governs both by sea and land Q. why is marriage compared to a sea voyage Qu. Because if people have not the greater and the better fortune They are very likely to be cast away Q. which is most jealous the man or the woman A. The woman though men have most cause you know why Q. Why are some left handed A. Because in some persons the heart sendeth not heat to that side Q. Why can women endure thin clothing in the winter better then men A. Because being naturally cold they feel cold the less Q. what creature is that which bringeth forth at eace nourisheth her young and goes with young again Sol. A hare Q. what is that which being first water assumes the form of a stone and still retains it A. Crystal congealed by frost Q. which is the quickest of the sences A. The eye Q. why is it better to marry a widow then a maid A. Causa patet Q. What may be said of a covetous rich man A. That he freezes before the fire Q. What reply did one of the Tylers make to the other when he said You do your work too slightly A. Brother said he we must work at one time as we intend to have work at another Q. what was the reply to one that gave him this complement Sir I wish that every hair of my head were a groom to do you service A. He replied Sir I wish that every blast from my back side were a cannon bullet ready charged to batter down your enemies Q. A cowardly Captain askt a Soldier whether he knew him or no A. The Soldier replyed I should have known you if you had shown me your back for that I have seen often but I never saw your face before Q. When will the Vintner at Aldersgate pull off the Mourning from his sign A. When Wine is at the old price Q. A fearful bashful Countrey-fellow was askt whether he would go to bed to his bride A. No quoth he I 'le go to Bed to my mother that I will Q. Whence is it that those people that wash in the winter in warm water feel more cold then those that wash in cold water A. Because that the warm water opens the pores and gives an entrance to the cold whereas cold water on the contrary shuts the pores for cold is restringent Q. wherefore is it that the Hycup especially if it be not very violent ceaseth in holding the breath or else if we are suddenly frighted or afflicted with some opinionate unhappiness or else with the taking of vinegar A. Because the Hycup proceeds of a sudden difficulty in breathing and that in holding our breath it must be of necessity that we shall a little after respire by course also we being made attentive to that we are fearful of makes us hold our breath and sometimes with a profound sigh fetcht from the stomach it hinders the cause of the Hycup Q. Can you in few words give an illustration or description of the body A. Yes the body is the dwelling of the soul the eyes are the windows of the soul the brows the portals of the mind the ears the interpreters of sounds the lips the leaves of the mouth the hands the workmen of the body the heart thereceptacle of life the lungs the bellows of the air the stomac the orderer of meat the bones the strengthners and the legs the colums of the body Q. What seed is that which joyneth all the countries of the world together A. Hempseed of which is made sails for ships that transmit them far and near Q. What art is that which makes use of the wildest things in the world A. Physick Q. What was the Welsh-mans meaning when he said He had the law in hur own hand A. He was burnt in the hand Q. One said painters were cunning fellows the other askt why A. Because said he they are sure to find a colour for whatsoever they do Q. One said to a sturdy begger friend it is a custom amongst those of your trade if a man doth not give you to rail at him A. The begger answered thinking to get something of him Ah master I am none of those Say you so says the gentleman I will try you for once and so away he went but never unbuttoned his fob Q. One boasted himself to be a wit saying That the world spoke him to be all wit A. One that stood by and knew him very well Is it possible that you are taken to be a wit or to be all wit I only took you to be a wittal Qu. What is a meer common Lawyer A. He is a foil to make a discreet one look the fairer Q. what is a Bragadocia welsh-man A. He is one that hath the abilities of his mind in potentia but not in actu Q. why do some of our Lay Preachers hold forth so long A. Because their ware being course they can afford the larger measure Q. what is cast beauty
Labours I confess I am fallen upon a subject that I could dwell upon I could make a particular harange in the praise of every part that builds up the noble Frame of your Body but I am put to silence by that little Bird which warbles tydings of more concernment to your ears Do you not hear the Nightingale Madam I do Sir And indeed it is the first time I have heard her this Spring They say it is lucky to unmarried people to hear her before the Cuckow Doubtless then Madam the end that brought her hither was to bring you that good fortune Sir It cannot be but that you must have a greater share in her happy Auguries who better deserve them I should then Madam deserve your self which is the happiest Augury I can expect Pardon me Madam if you have open'd my mouth to utter so great crime for indeed I could say I love you but that I fear lest you should frown me into despair for such a high presumption Believe it Sir my ambition never aspir'd to such thoughts as you would fain put into me but if you have idly scatter'd a little respect upon a person no way meriting doubtless a few dayes and another Object wIll soon randezvouze your Passions another way Madam could any protestation avail to fix my Constancy in your belief you should soon command me to seal my prostrate Vows upon the Ground on which you tread yet since that cannot be I onely beg this on my knees That you will still count me your Servant whom it shall suffice to be honoured with that Liberty which you have hitherto given till time shall discover my immutable Affection and the profitable Testimonies of my Obedience The Gentleman resolves now to strike while the Iron is hot and to win her with kindness for which end he carries her to the Lodge and throws away forty or fifty shillings to please her appetite and to shew her that he was not so much covetous of his Money as of her Good Will He breaks up Cheesecakes cuts up Tarts and calls in for Wine and Sugar as if his Mistress had a Legion in her belly though his observance is such that he eats nothing himself for fear she should have a desire to any particular plum in his morsel In drinking he sweetens her Affection with a great deal of Sugar with an humble obeysance wishing it were Nectar for her sake She cannot be so unmannerly as not to drink to him there being no body else in the room which he takes for a very great kindness and wishes for the capacious throat of the great Gyant that he might swill up a whole pipe for joy The Wine inspires him and produces many extravagant Vows and sundry Comments on her Hands Lips Eyes and Forehead which beget an host of Comparisons putting such a scorn and contempt upon the Sun and Moon as if they were but meer Candles of Ten in the pound subject to be capt by every common Extinguisher At length emboldned by a surreptitious vapor upon the merits of his Oblation he craves a kiss which being granted with a high satisfaction he calls to pay This is the meek spirited Lover But that bold Mamaluck Yclep'd a Hector courts his Lady more daringly Madam cryes he By Heaven I love you and then he falls down with a submissive reverence and kisses the hem of her Petticoat then arising up again he proceeds Madam there is no person living bears you a greater respect then I or carries more affection for you in his bosom then my self make trial of it Madam and though you bid me die I 'le do it willingly He comes into the Park like the son of Death arm'd with the accouterments of Mortality Sword and Pistol he stands not much upon the nicety of Habit so his Belt be not out of fashion He is generally known in the Ring and every one salutes him by the name of Tom or Jack such a one whose kindness he requites with an Oath and an Humble Servant and so having done his Evening Exercise he retires to the Lodge where he spends his money with such a liberality as if he bore malice to his fortunes The next variety is that of the Horse-Races the general Terms of which Art are exprest in these following Dialogues 1. Gent. In good faith Sir that Horse must have wings that beats me 2. Sir your confidence may deceive you you will ride with a Jocky that hath Horsemanship 1. Pish that 's but your opinion I 'le tell ye what I say to ye were it in my power I 'de lay the World upon my Mare that she should run with the Devil for a hundred pieces The Gentlemen to the Jocky 1. How now what dost think Jocky 2. The crack of the whole Field is against you Jocky Let 'm crack and be hang'd till their lungs ake Gentlemen 1. What weight 2. I think he has the Heels 3. All that you are to do Jocky is to get the start Jocky I 'le warrant you if I get within his quarters once let me alone After Starting 1. Twenty pounds to fifteen 2. 'T is done with you 3. Forty pounds to thirty Lord. Done done I 'le take the odds 1. My Lord I hold as much L. Not so Sir 1. Forty pounds to twenty L. Done done 2. You have lost all my Lord and 't were a million L. In your imagination well who can help it 2. Crop had the start and keeps it The Loser Gentlemen you have a fine time to triumph 't is not your Odds that makes you win Upon the fatal disaster that befell the Gallants upon May-day last in Hide-Park THe last sad May-day know ye not It was a fatal day God wot Which gay new Clothes did all bespot With mire and dirt Much might be said of other days first For which that Year ought to be curst That such inhumane Traitors nurst To do men hurt Sad to the Romans was that day When they from Hannibal ran away Losing their gold Rings in the fray He did so rout ' em Was not dark Monday sad d'ye think When Phoebus look'd as black as ink 'T was all one whether men did wink Or stare about ' em That day had made your hearts to ake If Faux's plot had hap'd to take Of which the Crums of Comfort make A large recital And that sad day my heart doth nettle When Fire on London-bridge did settle And Thames boyl'd under like a kettle Men read at Whitehall By the vast Flame Though at this hour I blame not fire but a great shower Which Heaven did on clean linen powr And Blades a horse-back For all that are but worth a groat On May-day will in fine clothes show 't Some borrow a Belt and some a loose coat That money in purse lack First the clear Sun-shine did invite The Lord the Lady and the Knight Who all in Satins richly dight Did sit i' th boot The Race-nags follow'd more then ten Upon
my true passion doth onely oblige me so there is no adjuration shall have power over me Madam I wish that I could transform my whole will into words to render you sufficient thanks for this favourable promise but since I am not born capable of such a happiness I will only say this That he to whom your Favours are so liberally extended shall pass the rest of his days in your Service The Trial. Madam If the opportunities of serving you were as ordinary as those of speaking to you I had rendred you as many Services as I have spoken Words I dare not confirm them always with the same testimonies and since I am so little capable of persuasion I fear I shall discover my Ignorance and not my Servitude Sir I am of opinion that the custom of Persuasion is only used there where Truth is wanting and therefore seeing you have always protested the Truth you ought not to make use of it else you will make your Oaths and my Credit as indifferent as your Words and Assurance would be The cunning of a Discourse shall never do me such an ill office as to make me believe an untruth for I am ignorant of the custom and invention thereof which shall cause me not to seek out such an Enterprize to the end that being warranted from the disturbance which I find between the resolution and the event I should not give you for an assurance that the whole world seeing so noble a Design as mine will judge that I owe an eternal perseverance to it Be advis'd Sir to conform your minde to your words for time will give us always opportunities to distinguish between those that are feigned and those that are true Truly I must make this promise in answer to your promises that if I do not finde them true you will repent to have so vainly lost them for I shall always reserve to my self this power either to reject or accept of what you tender me Why should your belief take any ill impression of your servant I do call love and your beauty to witness that I should always preserve my self the same Well Sir I shall content my self at present with your drift notwithstanding I shall expect better assurances Madam Be confident that you shall draw as much fidelity from your conquest as I expect glory and happiness from my subjection But I desire to know if your Promises shall be as faithfully performed as your Oaths Much more Madam for I can give you but weak words which my ignorance furnishes me withall whereby you work effects worthy a glorious death Will you then die for me Sir No Madam for that which would be a death to others would be a life to me provided it came from your hand Live then Sir and take heed that your repentance do not kill you 'T is well Madam I shall live your Servant and live long through the worth of my preserver Full Satisfaction Madam The day wherein I had the happiness to present my Soul and my Affections to you and then you made an entire conquest of all that was within me I had also a thousand jealousies of misfortune for the fairest conquests are always cross'd and my small merit did not permit me the honour of your friendship But since that you and my good fortune have deceiv'd my apprehension therefore by how much the more extraordinary the Affection is which you have testifi'd to me so much the more carefully shall I keep the Obligation which I have to serve you Not me Sir I never could in the least pretend to your Favour that is a happiness which I swear to you my Desire doth rather enjoy then my Hope and there is reason for it seeing you the possessor of so many rich Qualities I see Madam that I shall possess nothing hereafter since I must take all from my self to bestow it upon her for whom I could willingly suffer my self to be robb'd of all Sir When I shall enjoy that happiness the gift will be much greater then all I can yet call my own Teach me Madam how I may swear and you shall see what use I will make of it to assure you that I am wholly yours and that that which Love gives you now can never be taken from you but by death Sir Be confident that I shall diligently seek all opportunities to deserve you and receive these words for the most infallible that ever Faith it self swore Madam I shall live always at your devotion And I Sir living to you shall live to my self Then Lady let us tye our souls together with this kiss And now this enterprize having given me so much joy as to think of it I will go sacrifice my silence to your judgement An Amorous Complement Lady Wounded by your beauty I will acknowledge it a mercy if you kill me not yet rather murther me then vulnerate still your creature unless you mean to heal what you have hurt giving me a remedy from the same instrument wherewith you pierc'd me your Eye having shot lightning into my breast hath power with a smile to fetch out the consuming fire and yet leave my heart enflamed Sir Although where I am not guilty of offence I might justly deny to descend to a satisfaction yet rather then I would be counted a murtherer I would study to preserve so sweet a Model as your self and since you desire that my Eye which hath enflamed you should by the vertue of a gracious Smile make you happy in your fire It shall shine as you would have it disclaim that Beam that displayes it self upon another Object The Discourse of a Gentleman bringing his Friend into Company Gentlemen Knowing that you were here I am come to have the honour to see you and to kiss your hands and moreover on the confidence of your favour I have taken the boldness to bring this Gentleman along with me being a person that deserves much respect The Company Sir It is a singular contentment to us to see you you and your friend shall be always welcome our devotion is dedicated wholly to your service But as for these Ladies we cannot so dispose of them it lies on your part and his to insinuate your selves into their favour The Stranger Replies Gentlemen I durst not have so far presum'd thus to thrust my self into your company being altogether unknown to you if this Gentleman who is my friend had not put me under the shelter of his favour the honour which you shew me for his sake obliges me infinitely and as for these Ladies their excellent beauty and affability seem to promise me this happiness that at least my presence shall not displease them and that if they will permit me the favour to see them perhaps hereafter by my services I shall gain some other interest in their Affection The Ladies Sir We should shew our selves as much unprovided of Judgment as we esteem our selves to be of Beauty if we should not
long hast thou been a Waiting-woman Not above a month yet I thought so you are so ignorant I warrant you have your maiden-head still I do hope so Oh fie upon 't away with it for shame chaffer it with the Coach-man for the credit of your profession 't is finable among Lasses of your rank Good Mr. Page how long have you been skill'd in these affairs E're since I was in Breeches I vow you 'l find your honesty very troublesome How can that be Why when you have truckt away your maiden-head you have a lawful excuse to put off Gamesters by telling them you have not what they look for besides the benefit of being impudent as occasion serves 't is a thing very necessary for a Waiting-creature and we Pages can instruct you in it if you will be tractable Sure thou art wild So wild that if you will lead me the chase I 'le follow you Mock-Complements or Drolling-Complements A Complement between a Gentleman and a Gentlewoman before a Riband-Shop in the Exchange MAdam y' are welcom to this Paradise of Toys be pleas'd to chuse what you like and I shall sacrifice to your beauty upon the Altar of this Stall what gold you shall think fit to command from my pockets Sir You enrich me with your gifts I 'le assure you Sir I do as freely accept of your kindness as you do liberally bestow them for we Ladies of this Town seldom have any mercy upon a Country-gentlemans pocket when we meet with an opportunity to empty it Madam Your nimble eye wherewith you do espie the faults of garb and habit emboldens me to crave your judgment concerning the cut of my Breeches the choise of my Fancies and the fling of my Legs Sir For your clothes were not your Breeches a little too long they were Jeer-proof against all the Ladies either in Hide-Park or Spring-Garden You walk with such a Barbary prance and stately step that your feet are like load-stones drawing the eyes of all persons on you Madam I wish the Gods would transform me into this Fan that I am now about to give you that I might be always puffing into your mouth the breath of my affections or this piece of Ribband that I might always hang about you in two tassels the one at your breast the other at your breech Sir I never fancied flesh-colour knots nor am I about to build Cities that you should proffer me your hide to measure the compass of the walls If I were your favours Sir merit that I should like Dido use something else for that work rather chusing you for my Aeneas to help me to people it A Horse Courser courting a Parsons Widow Lady The great affections that I bear you and the great desire I have to be luckie in Horse-flesh spur me on to accost you with an humble request that I may be your Servant Sir Your proper person and eloquent language would accuse me of ingratitude should my obstinacy to your reasonable demands be any hindrance to your fortunate Markets An Apprentice and a young Lady at a Boarding-School Lady Seeing the painted cloth of your Vertues hang out at the window and Fame standing at the door with a trumpet in her hand I could not chuse out of a natural inclination which I have to Sights and Puppet-playes but step in to behold the monstrousness of our Beauties and now Madam having seen you I admire you more then the Hairy-Gentlewoman Sir Your kindness proceeds more from your goodness then my desert but you must give me leave to think you complement since you have compar'd me to a person whose incomparable qualities are as much above mine as Pauls is above St. Gregories Lady If you 'l be pleas'd to take a Cheesecake and a bottle of Beer as the earnest of my affection I shall think my self honour'd with waiting on you to the next Ale-house Sir I shall not refuse the proffer of your kindness for the short Commons our Mistriss allows us makes us very willing to embrace such invitations At the Cake-house Madam Let me beg a kiss from you that I may drink to you in that liquor which I most love the Nectar of your lips Your servant Sir now give me leave to pledge you in that liquor which I most love which is a cup of bottle Ale for I am very dry Madam These Cheesecakes were made to eat I would you could feed on them with that eagerness that I could feed on the perfections of your face there is in them sweetness tenderness and pleasantness the emblems of your qualifications Sir I know not how to recompence these favours so that I am troubled that I must be now more in your debt before I have gratifi'd your first kindnesses for I must desire you to give me leave to go forth to make water At Parting Empress of my soul God give you good night many thanks to you for your sweet company I must return the same acknowledgments to you again Sir who have this night both fill'd my heart with your Love and my belly with good Cheesecakes A Passado Complement between a Gentleman and a Lady meeting in two several Coaches in the High-way going to Hide-Park Your most humble servant Madam I bless the opportunity that now gives me leave to tell you how much I honour you since you are the only Lady that ride triumphant in the Coach-box of my heart Sir I do not know how I have merited so great a favour I wish it were a sufficient recompence to let you understand that you are the only person that hold the Reins of my affection Madam Be pleased to honor me with your commands and I shall diet my self like a Race-horse that I may be swift to obey them Sir My commands are only that you would accept of my love which I bestow upon you with the same freeness that you ever gave your Mistress bottle Wine and Tarts Oh Dear Madam your most humble servant drive on Coach-man Between a Gentleman and a Sempstress Lady The neat cut of your Bands which I do now and then send for by my Foot-boy hath brought me to visit the maker of those comely ornaments of my neck Sir Were it not for speaing against my Trade and Profit I would say that your good face needs no band Then the Gentleman lolling over the Counter thus proceds Truly Mistress I do not wonder that your pretty fingers do stitch up so many neat ornaments seeing that you are that very picture of ornament it self and doubtless your Trade must be very innocent for you deal all in white Sir Your good opinion doth much oblige me yet I entreat the favour of you to believe that there is as much deceit in our Trade as in any occupation about London Lady You may perceive by my behaviour and my garb that I am a person wholly made up of complements so that the greatest complement that I can give you is my self And as a
rivals to your wit Unthriftily you throw away The pleasures of your beauties sway Which loosely scatter'd so on many Securely fastens not on any And then your beauty doth discover Many that gaze but ne're a Lover And your so greedy hands destroy What you would your self enjoy So Princes by Ambition thirsty grown In chase of many Kingdoms lose their own YOU must suppose it to be Easter Holy-days for now Sisly and Dol Kate and Peggie Moll and Nan are marching to Westminster with a Lease of Apprentices before them who go rowing themselves along with their right Arms to make more haste and now and then with a greasie Muckender wipe away the dripping that bastes their foreheads At the door they meet a croud of Wapping Sea-men Southwark Broom-men the Inhabitants of the Bank-side and a Butcher or two prickt in among them there a while they stand gaping for the Master of the Shew staring upon the Suburbs of their delight just as they view the painted Cloth before they go in to the Puppet-play by and by they hear the Keys which rejoyces their hearts like the sound of the Pancake-bell for now the Man of comfort peeps over the spikes and beholding such a learned auditory opens the Gates of Paradise and by that time they are half got into the first Chappel for time is then very precious he lifts up his voice among the Tombs and begins his lurry in manner and form following HEre lies Will. de Valence a right good Earl of Pembroke And this is his monument which you see I 'le swear upon a Book He was High Marshal of England when Harry the Third did raign But this you may take upon my word that he 'l ne're be so again Here the Lord Edward Talbot lies the Town of Shrewsbury's Earle together with his Countess fair that was a delicate Girle The next to him there lieth one Sir Richard Peck shall hight Of whom we always first do say he was a Hampshire Knight And now to tell the more of him there lies under this stone His two Wives and his Daughters four of whom I knew not one Sir Bernard Brockhurst there doth lie Lord Chamberlain to Queen Ann Queen Ann was Richard the Second's Queen and he was King of Englan Sir Francis Hollis the Lady Frances the same was Suffolks Dutchess Two children of Edward the Third lie here in Deaths cold clutches This is King Edward the Third's brother of whom our Records tell Nothing of note nor say they whether he be in Heaven or Hell This same was John of Eldeston he was no Costermonger But Cornwals Earl And here 's one dy'd ' cause she could live no longer The Lady Mohum Dutches of York and Duke of York's Wife also But Death resolving to cuckold the Duke made her lie with him here below The Lady Ann Ross but note thee well that she in child-bed dy'd The Lady Marquess of Winchester lies buried by her side Now think your penny well spent good folks and that ye are not beguil'd Within this Cup doth lie the heart of a French Embassadours Child Nor can I tell how came to pass on purpose or by chance The bowels they lie underneath the body is in France There 's Oxford's Countess and there also the Lady Burley her Mother And there her Daughter a Countess too lie close one by another These once were bonny Dames and though there were no Coaches then Yet could they jog their tails themselves or had them jogg'd by men But wo is me these High-born sinners that strutted once so stoutly Are now laid low and cause they can't Their statues pray devoutly This is the Dutchess of Somerset by name the Lady Ann Edward the Sixth her Lord protected and he carried himself like a man In this fair Monument which you see adorn'd with so many Pillars Doth lie the Countess of Buckingham and her Husband Sir George Villars This old Sir George was Grandfather the Countess she was Granny To the great Duke of Buckingham who often fox'd King Jammy Sir Robert Eatam a Scotch Knight this man was Secretary And scribled Complements for two Queens Queen Ann and eke Queen Mary This was the Countess of Lenox I clep'd the Lady Marget King Jame's Grandmother but yet ' gainst death she had no Target This was Queen Mary Queen of Scots whom Buchanan doth bespatter She lost her head at Fothringham whatever was the matter The Mother of our Seventh Henry this is that lieth hard by She was the Countess wot ye well of Richmond and of Darby Harry the Seventh himself lies here with his fair Queen beside him He was the Founder of this Chappel Oh! may no ill betide him Therefore his Monument's in brass you 'l say that very much is The Duke of Richmond and Lenox there lieth with his Dutchess And here they stand upright in a Press with bodies made of wax With a Globe and a Wand in either hand and their Robes upon their backs Here lies the Duke of Buckingham and the Dutchess his Wife Whom Felton stab'd at Portsmouth Town and so he lost his life Two Children of King James these are which Death keeps very chary Sophia in the Cradle lies and this is the Lady Mary And this is Queen Elizabeth How the Spaniards did infest her Here she lies buried with Queen Mary and now she agrees with her Sister To another Chappel now come we the people follow and chat This is the Lady Cottington and the people cry Who 's that This is the Lady Frances Sidney The Countess of Sussex is she And this the Lord Dudley Carleton is and then they look up and see Sir Thomas Bromley lieth here Death would not him reprieve With his four Sons and Daughters four yet I heard no body grieve The next is Sir John Tullerton and this is his Lady I trow And this is Sir John Duckering with his fine Bed-fellow That 's Earl of Bridgewater in the middle who makes no use of his bladder Although his Countess lies so near him and so we go up a ladder King Edward the First that gallant blade lies underneath this stone And this is the Chair which he did bring a good while ago from Scone In this same Chair till now of late our Kings and Queens were crown'd Under this Chair another stone doth lie upon the ground On that same stone did Jacob sleep instead of a doun Pillow And after that 't was hither brought by some good honest Fellow Richard the Second he lies here and his first Queen Queen Ann. Edward the Third lies here hard by I there was a gallant man For this was his two-handed Sword a Blade both true and trusty The French mens blood was ne're wip'd off which makes it look so rusty He lies here again with his Queen Philip A Dutch Woman by Record But that 's all one for now alas his Blade's not so long as his Sword King Edward the Confessor lies within this Monument fine
thing that concerns you and to make it more clear to you I never ceas'd to honour you but onely not to express it was like a secret fire not quench'd but cover'd which became the more violent when it had less liberty to appear Wherefore Sir be confident that I shall make you see upon all occasions for what is just that I will never be less then I am Your c. A Familar Return of Thanks SIR THis negligence of my stile be pleas'd to esteem one of the marks of friendship between us Gratitude is one of a poor mans vertues This is the best Rhetorick you could expect in so few Lines and so I would renounce the world and all its promises if a mortal could do so to express my self but truly thankful to you for your exquisite favours The expedition of this messenger would permit me no further at this time but onely to set my hand to this protestation that I love you exceedingly that I honour you and am as much as any man can be in the world Your c. To his Friend inviting him into the Country SIR I will not send you studied complements I know you are born in a Country of good words I am here among Thorns and Thistles among people that are naturally affected with dulness and dream in the best company such as can give no other reason for their silence but that they are entreated not to speak in so much that you may walk our Village and hear nothing but whistling and which is a miracle our Coridons are here arrived to such a height of wilful ignorance as if they held their Lands by no other Tenure but that of never speaking to the purpose I should be quite out of heart if I had not your promise to relie on that you will suddenly give me a visit to witness what I am like to suffer this long vacation except I enjoy your company I wait for you as for a blessing and if you come not hither next week I proclaim to you that I am no longer Your c. To his sick Friend SIR The news of your sickness hath so alter'd my health that I may count my self a sharer in your misfortunes Really it hath so much griev'd me that the sorrow which I sustain is more then the fever which you endure Do you therefore take courage if you will that I should be in good health You know how much I am interested in your concernments In a word I assure you that if you do not quit your bed I shall be forc'd to betake my self to mine These are the absolute protests of Sir Your c. A Letter of Resolution WHY thus in Cynthia's sports do you delight And take from Loves all their due and right Yield brightest and his sweetest pleasures try Whose fires in funeral flames can onely die May I not live if all things plead not sin I wonder what strange fear doth keep thee in Though with Diana thou dost seem to vie Trust me thy face doth give thy words the lie More fit for Venus thou then her wilt prove There 's no Religion sweet but that of Love Were the Gods kinde and to my love agreed With eyes unwilling thou these Lines should read When shall I thee embrace intranc't and lie Languishing wrapt in Loves sweet extasie If Arts will not avail then Arms I le move And so my longing bosome force thy love Yet us Loves warfare better will become Soft breathings best please love not the fierce Drum If that thou wilt I can more gentle be Lay shame aside and yield thy self to me Either thy self into my arms resign Or I must fall for I have vow'd thee mine To his Mistress desiring Enjoyment TEll me cruel fair one why When I ask you still deny You thereby unkind do prove Both to Nature and to Love Nature when she gave that eye That hand that lip that majesty Surely then she did not mean Here riches should be onely seen And not enjoy'd were not each sense A Sharer of your excellence Shee 'd wrong her self and so destroy Mankind by making you so coy Oh then yield and let me find That y' are thankful if not kind Cupid in your bosomes snow Losing his Shaft unbent his Bow And woo'd his Mother since he shot So long and wounded not Your eyes henceforth might be his Darts With which he slew so many hearts She did but with all gave you skill To heal again as well as kill She gave your eyes power to enflame A breath with all to cool the same You are just to use that breath To be a Sentencer of death Nay you are impious if you are Less merciful then you are fair And by denying needs must grant That you are proud or ignorant Where Women truly know their price 'T is pride not vertue makes them nice Let us Lucinda henceforth twine With close embraces Let us joyn Lip unto lip and reap the pleasure Of true Lovers without measure Till our Loves are by wonder grown From two bodies into one Yield Lucinda thy consent That from our true and just content Others may a perfect rule obtain How they should love how be belov'd again Thus she striveth to indite That can love but cannot write In every Line here may'st thou understand That Love hath sign'd and sealed with his hand These cannot blush although thou dost refuse them Nor will reply however you shall use them O modesty dist thou not me restrain How would I chide thee in this angry vain Pardon me dear if I offend in this With such delays my love impatient is I needs must write till time my faith approve And then I le cease but never cease to love Tears thou know'st well my heart cannot abide How I am angry when I least do chide Too well thou know'st what my creation made me And nature too well taught thee to invade me Thou know'st too well how what and when and where To write to speak to sue and to forbear By signes by sighs by motions and by tears When vowes should serve when oaths when smiles when prayers If any natural blemish blot my face Thou dost protest it gives my beauty grace And that attire I 'me used most to wear That 's the most excellent of all you swear Or if I wake or sleep or stand or lie I must resemble some one Deity But Sweet Diana what strange fears have I That am confirm'd how men can swear and lie As with an ague I do shiver still Since to this paper first I set my quill What blots so e're thou seest my tears did make And yet these tears do weight of words partake If I do erre you know our sex is weak Fear proves a fault when Maids are forc'd to speak Could I my soul into thy brest convey It might like purity to thine display I should not then come short of any trick Which makes thee prettily appear love sick But all my thoughts
be Shentlemen Was descend from Shoves none Line Par humane and par divine And from Venus that fair Coddes And twenty other shentle Poddies Hector stout and comely Paris Arthur Prute and King of Fairies Was her none Cosin all a kin We have the Powels issue in And for ought that her can see As cood men as other men pee But what of that Love is a knave Was make her do what her would have Was compel her to write the rhime That ne're was write before this time And if she will not pitty her pain As Cot shudge her soul shall ne're write again For Love is like an ague fit Was bring poor Welsh-men out of her wit Till by her answer her do know Whether her do love or no. Her has not pin in England long And con no speak the English tongue Put her is her friend and so her will prove Pray send her word if her can love Superscription for the Drolling-Letters TO the most gracious Queen of my Soul To the most illustrious Princess of my Heart To the Countess Dowager of my Affections To the Lady of my Conceptions To the Baroness of My Words and Actions To the Spring-Garden of all pleasure and delight To the Peerles Paragon of Exquisite Formosity To the chief of my Heart and Affections To the Empress of my thoughts To the Lady and Mistress of my thoughts and service To the Lilly-white-hands of my Angelical Mistress These present To the Compleat Mirrour of Beauty and Perfection To the ninth Wonder of the World To the most Accomplish'd Work of Nature and the Astonishment of all Eyes To the Fair Murdress of my Soul To the Rose of pure Delight To the Choise Nutmeg of Sweetest Consolation To the most Flourishing Bud of Honour To His Most Sacred Angel Mistress c. To Her who is Day without Night a Sun full of Shade a Shade full of Light Mistress c. To the Atlas of her best Thoughts and Affections Her Dearly beloved M. L. Broom-man in SOVTHWARK These Subscriptions MAdam Your Gally Gally Gally-Slave Madam Your Always burning Salamander Madam Your Continual Martyr Madam Your poor Worm that must of necessity die if trod upon by the foot of your disdain Madam Your Captive willingly fetter'd in the Chains of your beauty Madam The Vassal of your Severest Frowns Madam The Most Loyal Subject to Your Imperial Power MOCK LETTERS And Drolling Letters A Souldier to his Mistress Madam I Have now left the bloody Banners of Mars to follow Cupids Ensigns Though I must now confess the latter to be the severer service for under the one we onely get broken Pates under the other wonded Hearts There we have pay and plunder here we have neither But from whence arises all my trouble 't is from you Madam who like Jone of Arquez are risen up to terrifie me in the midst of all my conquests For alas the assaults of your eyes have so alarum'd my brest that it is in vain for me to think of reposing by day or sleeping by night Oh! that you would make an end of the War and come and take me in my own Quarters Otherwise I must be compell'd to bring my scaling ladders to force that Lathemhouse of Beauty which is your fair body to free my self from the hourly incursions that your perfections make upon my soul But why do I rage Deliver it by fair means By the Nails of Jupiter of you will not delay to do it I swear there is no man shall venture his life further to defend you from the Batteries of lying fame or injurious slander And more then that you shall find me the most faithful Knight that ever smote terrible Gyant for fair Ladies sake A Pedagogue to his Mistress Most Dear Star KNow you not that you are already mounted above the Horizon of Accomplish'd Nihil verius est There is nothing more true And being thus the Miracle of your Perfections and the perfection of your Miracles with a soft violence ye have wounded my bleeding soul Foemineo teneri tribuuntur The Feminine gender is very troublesome But O Damsel as fair as you are cruel and as cruel as you are fair do not resemble that treacherous Emperour Nero who took pleasure to see the City of Rome on fire O! do not from the turret of your merits with delight behold not onely the Suburbs but even the City of my Heart to burn with all the Churches in it that I have dedicated to your honour For I can assure you more fair then Venus then Venus of Cyprus as the Grammar hath it Creta Brittannia Cyprus Great Britain and Cyprus that whatever Oration or Sillogism poor miserable and passive I can make by way of special demonstration is onely to shew and acknowledge how much I am your superlative servant per omnes casus in all cases A Cockney to his Mistress My Dear Peggie I Have here sent thee these Lines writ with my tears and a little blacking that our Maid rubs my Fathers Shoes with that I may unload a whole Cart-load of grief into the Ware-house of thy bosome Truly Peggie I think I shall die for I can neither eat nor drink nor sleep nor wake Nothing that my Mother can buy either in Cheap-side or Newgate-Market will go down with me yet you know my motheris as pretty a Huswife as any in the Town She seeing me look as pale as thâ—… Linen in Moor-fields and moping in the Chimney corner 〈◊〉 the Maid fetch me a Cap and ask'd me if I would haâ—… 〈…〉 Sugar sops But I cry'd no I 'de have Peggie wiâ—… 〈…〉 she jeer'd me saying What are you love-sick Tom 〈…〉 I cry'd and made a noise like a Cat upon the Tiles But let all the world say what they will I will pout and be sick and my Father and Mother shall lose their eldest Son but I le have Peggie that I will I beseech thee not to omit any occasion of writting to me that since I cannot kiss thy hand I may kiss the Letters that thy hand did write The Bearer hereof is our Cook-maid one that pitties my condition and is very trusty I have therefore engag'd her to call and see thee every time she goes to Market My Mothers Rings are all close lockt up else I would steal one to send it thee however I intreat thee to accept of the good will for the deed and to take in good part the endeavours of thy most faithful Servant Postscript As I was going to seal my Father came in taken suddenly and desperately ill The Physicians were sent for and by their whispering assure me that he cannot live assoon as he is dead I shall not fail to visit thee and make sure work between us A Sea-man to his delight in Wapping Kind if not unkind Susan HAving read in a Ballad how that a Woman is compared to a Ship it made me to conceive no small reason for a Sea-mutual love between us Since it
her a sermon out of his trade of what bars bolts and locks belonged to the chastity of an honest wife A. What a coil is here quoth she with your bars your bolts and your locks you are a little too conceited of your trade when there is never a Tapster nor Ostler that I know but hath as good a key to open it as any Lock-Smith of you all qu. what is good manners in a Chamber-maid A. To exercise her patience behind the hangings whilst her Mistress is busie with a gentleman in the same room qu. what said the French madam to her husband when she went to bed to her Lodger in the next room A. Husband I went only to the Chamber-pot qu. what if dreams and wishes had been all true A. There had not been since Popery one Nun to make a maid of qu. How do you define a Serjeant A. He is for the most part the spawn of a decayed Shop-keeper a hangman and he are twins only a hangman is his eldest brother qu. what is an Almanack maker A. He is a tenant by custom to the Planets of whom he holds the twelve signs by lease parol to which he pays yearly rent qu. which at all times is the best bed-fellow A. Sleep qu. why are women at all seasons more prone to love then other creatures A. Because they are naturally more soft and ticklish qu. whether is the man or woman more constant in love A. The man as he is of a more firm body and spirit qu. Why did Paris see the Goddess naked when he was appointed to give his judgment about the ball A. Because many have handsome faces that if they were stript of their cloaths have such nasty deformity on their bodies that a Beadle of the wand would sooner lose his place then approach them with a clean whip qu. why did the admired Painter Xerxes figure Cupid in a green robe A. Not only to express the youthfulness of love but also to moralize what the colour green signifies which is Hope qu. How may carnal copulation be civilly defined A. It is a mutual action of male and female with convenient instruments ordained and deputed for generation to maintain and multiply the species and kind of every creature qu. why is that saying That the falling out of lovers is the beginning of love A. Because love is like a flame that increaseth with every blast qu what kind of people are those that being as beasts themselves set upon beasts carry beasts in their hands have beasts running about them and all to pursue and kill beasts Sol. Unlearned Hunts-men qu. wherefore is the world round A. To signifie that it nor all in it can fill the heart of man which is triangular qu. what are the benefits of good sents and perfumes A. To purifie the brain refine the wit and awaken the fancy qu. Is lying of any ancient standing A. Yes but not as the atheistical writer antedates and before Adam Q. why is immoderate venery hurtful A. Because it destroyes the sight spends the spirits dries up the radical moisture which is instanced by the naturalists in the Sparrows which by reason of their often coupling live but three years Q. Whence comes it that those that are born deaf are also dumb A. There is a certain tie or conjunction of the nerves which stretch to the ears and from the tongue the which being indisposed from the birth it must of necessity be that those two faculties should be equally affected onely it is confessed that certain sicknesses may make one deaf without being dumb and on the contrary one may be made dumb without being deaf because it may so fall out that one branch of the nerve may be offended without hurting the other Q. Why do lovers sit up with one another whole nights A. Because they cannot go to bed together Q. May a lover die with too much loving A. Yes as 't is in the Song for the space of half an hour but no longer Q. Why is Cupid pictured blinde A. Because he uses in the dark to play at blind-man-buff Q. why do the Dutch eat so much butter A Because they have there fish so cheap Q. what said the Gardiner to his wife when she came to see him hang'd A. Get you to work you whore weed weed for bread for your children is this a time for you to see showes Q. What think you of the wife that said the Taylor her husband was not fit for her A. She had a minde to measure with a yard of her own chusing Q. What said one of a marriage that was made betwixt a widow of a vast fortune and a Gentleman of a great house that had no estate A. That the marriage was like a black pudding one brought blood and the other brought suet and oatmeal Q. What may a porter of the city gates becompared unto A. Cerberus that would not let the wandring ghosts pass without a sop Q. Why should a fair womans neck be awry A. Then it stands as if she lookt for a kiss Q. what is a Mountebank A. He is one that if he can but come by the names of diseases to stuff his Bill with he hath a sufficient stock to set up withall Q. what Officer keeps his Oath most strictly to the City A. A Serjeant for he swears to be a true Varlet to the city and he continues so to his dying day Q. what trick will the Vintners use after walnuts are out of season to keep up their price of sack A. Cunning knaves need no Brokers Q. whether is the water or the earth bigger A. The water is bigger then the earth the air is bigger then the water and the fire bigger then the air Q. How many bones are there in the body of a man A. In the Head 49. in the Breast 67. in the Hands 61. in the Feet 60. the vulgar opinion is that there is in all 284. Q. How may one distinguish of the height of things A. The Sea is higher then the Earth the Air is higher then the Sea the Fire then the Air and the Poles above them Q. why doth a chaste woman love him exceedingly that had her virginity A. Because of her shamefac'tness as also out of an esteem of him to whom she intrusted her credit Q. what herb of all others most present the form of a man A. A mandrake Q. what birds of all others are the most perfect heralds of the Spring A. The Swallow and the Cuckow Q. At what time do womens breasts begin first to increase A. At fourteen Q. what is conjectured of him that made the song of the Bulls feather A. That there is one about the the town that can pretend more reason to sing it better then himself Q. why did a Pulpit cuffer about London cry out so for bows and arrows bows and arrows A. Because according to the Proverb a fools bolt is soon shot Q. why do some women blush so A.
neither that we have truly given our selves al together to this study for all arts which pertain to humanity have a certain common band and are contained as it were in a certain knowledge amongst themselves Q. Shew the force of this example A. Art is the genus poesie and eloquence the species Q. Is not the genus handled by the species A. Yes Q. Give example A. Ovid de Trist 4. Fill thy sad matter with thy vertues grave Hot glory doth decay it none can save Who had known Hector if Troy well had been Through publique vices way to vertue 's seen Thine art O Typhis lies if in the sea There be no floods if men be well truly Then Phoebus art decayeth instantly That which they hid and is not known for good Appears at last and shews where evil stood Q. But are there no special examples fitted to this kind A. Yes such as this Attic. 7. Wilt thou leave the city What if the French men come The Commonwealth he saith is not in walls but altars and Religion Theomisticles did the same and a whole host of Barbarians were not able to take one city But Pericles did not so who in the year almost before fifty when he kept nothing but a wall our city before being taken they kept the tower notwithstanding CAP. 28. Distribution from the Subject Q. what is the other distribution A. The other distribution is of agreeings afrer a certain manner Q. what are agreeings after a certain manner A. The subjects and adjuncts Q. what is the distribution from subjects A. The distribution from subjects is when the parts are subjects Q. Give example A. Cat. Thy maiden-head's not wholly thine I ween One part thy Father gave the part between Thou of thy mother hadst so that to thee None but the third remaineth for to be Therefore resist not two cast not away The thing thy parents gave to thee I say Q. Give example out of some Orator A. Cic. Tusc 1. There are therefore three kindes of good as I understand from the Stoicks to whose use oftener then I am wont we give place There are therefore those kindes of good whilst that the external things of the body are cast upon the ground and because they are to be undertaken they are called good There are other divine things which do more nearly concern us and are heavenly so that those who have attained them why may I not call them after a manner blessed yea most happy CAP. 29. Distribution from Adjuncts Q. What is Distribution from Adjuncts A. Distribution from Adjunct is when the parts are Adjuncts Q. Give example A. Of men some are sound some sick some rich some poor Q. Give a poetical example A. Virg. Georg. 1. Divideth the World into five parts the middle scorching hot the other two extream cold the two last temperate Five Zones the heavens do hold the middle hot The Sun there burns cold in it there is not But on the right and left hand there is seen Rain frost and cold that 's bitter sharp and keen The two last temperate yet in them is Mortality and many sicknesses Q. Give an Orators example A. Caes Bel. Gal. 1. All France is divided into three parts of which one the Belgians inhabit the other the Aequitans the third those who in their tongue are called Cetts in our Language the Gaules CAP. 30. Definition Q. What is definition A. Definition is when it is explicated what the thing is and that interchangeably may be argued with the thing defined Q. What are the kindes of definition A. A definition is perfect or imperfect Q. What is the perfect definition called A. This is properly called a definition Q. VVhat is the imperfect called A. A description Q. What is a perfect definition A. A perfect definition is a definition consisting of the onely causes which constitute the essence such as the causes comprehended by the genus and form Q. Give example A. After this manner is a man defined viz. by the genus a living creature we understand as it is said a corporeal essence full of life and sense which is the matter and a part of the form of a man to which if thou addest reasonable thou comprehendest the whole form of a man by the whole faculty of this life sense reason Q. It should seem then that the perfect definition is nothing else then an universal symbol of the causes constituting the essence and nature of things A. So it is Q. Give an example A. The Arts have such definitions Grammer of well speaking Rhetorick of pleading well Logick of disputing well Arithmetick of numbering well Geometry of measuring well CAP. 31. Description Q. VVhat is description A. Description is a definition defining the thing from other arguments also Q. Give example A. This is the description of a man a man is a living creaâ—ure mortal capable of discipline Q. Are not proper circumstances also mingled with common causes sometimes A. Yes Q. Then it seemeth that succint brevity is not always in this kinde A. No oftentimes it desireth a clearer and greater explication Q. Give an example out of some Orator A. In Mil. Glory is described But yet of all rewards of vertue if there be a reason of rewards the greatest is glory this one comforteth us touching the shortness of our life causeth that we are present with the absent dead maketh us live to conclude by these steps we do seem to ascend unto Heaven Q. Give a poetical example A. Aeneid 4. Fame is described From Libeans temple cometh forth great fame Nought swifter then ill news which bears this name Moving she goes by going strength she gets She fears at first at last with winds she fleets Walks on the earth her head she lifts to 'th skie Earth brought her forth the Gods were angry In Caeus and Encelladus his land She was at last as I do understand Her feet were swift here wings most hurtful were A horrid monster wicked full of fear As many feathers as upon her are So many eyes attend her every where So many tongues so many mouths do sound So many years do lessen her around In night she flies through heaven and in the shade About the earth she goes no noise is made She sitteth by the light on houses high And causeth towns to quiver fearfully As well a bruiter of things false that be As messengers of truth and verity Q. Proceed to further example A. Such are the discriptions of plants and living creatures â—n physick also of rivers mountains cities in Geography and History CAP. 32. Divine Testimony Q. You have expounded the artificial arguments the inartificial followeth tell me then what an inartificial argument is A. An inartificial argument is that which argueth not by its own nature but taken force from some artificial argument Q. It seemeth by this when a hidden truth of things is more subtily searched for that this argument hath small force of proof A. So
to wine to lust and banquets that dress themselves up like to Pageants with thousand antick and exotick shapes that make and Idol of a Looking-glass sprucing themselves two hours by it with such gestures and postures that a waiting wench would be ashamed of and then come forth to adore their Mistresses fan or tell their dream ravish a kiss from her white glove and then compare it with her hand to praise her gown her tire and discourse of the fashion discovery make which Lady paints which not which Lord playes best at Gleek which at Racket these are fine Elements A Lie is like a Lap-wing which still flies Far from her sought nest still here 't is she cries Lies hide our sins like nets like perspectives they that draw offences nearer make them greater Truth though it trouble some mindes that are both dark and dangerous yet it preserves it self and comes off pure innocent and like the sun though never so eclisped it breaks in glory Man is a tree that hath no top in cares nor root in comforts It is the deepest art to study man the world 's divided into knaves and fools Men are like pollitick states or troubled seas tossed up and down with several storms and tempests change and variety wrack and for tunes till labouring in the Haven of our homes we study for the calme that crowns our ends Man is a ship that sails with adverse winds and hath no Haven till he land at death then when he thinks his hands fast grasp the bank comes a rude billow betwixt him and safety and beats him back into the deep again To Marry is to be long-lived variety is like rare sawces provoke too far and draws on surfets more then the other The marriage rites are like to those that do deny a purgatory they locally contain a heaven or hell there is no third place The joys of Marriage are a heaven on earth lifes paradise there is no rest orative like to a constant woman but where is she it would puzzle all the Gods to create such a new monster Misfortune vexes us like to Quotidians they intermit a little and return e're we have lost the memory of our first fit If a Man be thrust into a well no matter whose hand is to it his own weight brings him to the bottom Fortune makes this conclusion All things shall help the unhappy man still to fall lower Mischiefs are like to darts shot at repelling walls in their return they light on them that did direct them To think of crimes when they are done and past and to be punisht doth but mischif breed we are then like beasts when they are fat they bleed Mischief is like Cockatrices eyes sees first and kills or is seen first and dies Mischief overflows our thoughts and like a sea devours the dew the rain the snow the springs and all the sweetness of the loveliest things Money is a chick of the white hen old fortune he that hath it whatsoever he treads upon shall be a rose Murther is open eyed and as the sea whose covetuous waves imprisoned by the land bellow for grief and roar upon the sands so from the earth it cries and like a childe wrong'd by its careless nurse will not be stilled Natures crescent doth not grow alone in shews and bulks but as her temple waxes the inward service of the minde and soul withal grows wider What a fine book is heaven which we may read best at night then every star is a fair letter How much they wrong thee Night which call thee guilty of rapes and murthers it is the day that like a glorious whore engages men to act them and taking thee the darkness to obscure them unjustly lay the shame upon thy brows thou art so innocent thou never sawest them Old men lustful do shew like yong men angry eager violent out-bid alike their limited performances Old men are discreet sinners and offend with silence but yong men when the feat is done do crow like pregnant cocks boast to the world their strength of their most vicious follies He that hath got the Elixir of Opinions has got all he is the man that turns his brass to gold Opinion's but a fool that makes us scan The outward habit by the inward man He that weighs mens thoughts hath his hands full of nothing a man in the course of this world should be like a Chyrurgeons instrument work in others wounds and feel nothing himself the sharper and subtler the better All are not Bawds I see now that keep doors Nor all good Wenches that are markt for Whores Where Order is once shaked which is the ladder to all high designs the enterprize is sick With what a compelled face a woman sits whilst she is Drawing I have noted divers either to feign smiles or suck in their lips to have a little mouth dimple their cheeks and so disorder their face with affectation at next sitting it hath not been the same I have known others have lost the entire fashion of their face in half an hours sitting in hot weather the painting of their faces was so mellow that they have left the poor man harder work by half to mend the Copy they wrought by Indeed if ever I would have mine drawn to the life I would have the Painter steal it at such time when I am devoutly kneeling at my prayers there is then a heavenly beauty in it the soul moves in the superficies Paintings and Epitaphs are both alike they flatter us and say we have been such When Princes heads sleeps on their Councels knees a State 's deep rooted must grow up high when Providence Zeale Uprightness and Integrity husband it He that suffers Prosperity to swell him above a mean like those impressions in the Air that rise from Dunghill Vapors scattered by the wind leaves nothing but an empty name behinde Prosperity is the Bawd of Love whose fresh complexion and whose heart together affliction alters It fares with some in their Prosperity as with others I have known of rare parts who from their successe of fighting of Duels have been raised up to such a pride and so transformed from what they were that all that loved them truly wisht they had faln in them Like dust before a winde those men do flie That prostrate on the ground of Fortune lie And being great like trees that broadest sprout Their own top-heavy state grubs up their root Gentlemen as soon as they come to their lands get up to London and like squibs that run upon lines they keep a spitting of fire and crackling till they have spent all and when the fire is out what sayes the Punk Foh how the Prodigal stinks How blinde is Pride what eagles are we still in matters that belong to other men what beetles in our own Swelling spirits hid with humble looks Are Kingdoms poisons hung on golden hooks Vallies that let in rivers to confound The hills above them though