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A66741 Wit and drollery joviall poems / corrected and much amended, with new additions, by Sir J.M. ... Sir W.D. ... and the most refined wits of the age. Phillips, John, 1631-1706.; E. M.; J. M. 1661 (1661) Wing W3132; ESTC R38723 98,574 304

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in a Cat-skin purse For fear the hailstones which did fall at Rome By lessening of the fault should make it worse For 't is most certain winter wool-sacks grow From geese to swans if men could keep them so Till that the sheep-shorn Planets gave the hint To pickle Pancakes in Geneva print Some men there were that did suppose the skye Was made of carbonado'd antidotes But my opinion is a whales left eye Need not be coyned all King Harry-groats The reason 's plain for Charons western barge Running a-tilt at the Subjunctive mood Beckned to Bednal-green and gave him charge To fatten Pad-locks with Antartick food The end will be the mill-pools must be laded To fish for whitepots in a countrey dance So they that suffer'd wrong and were upbraded Shall be made friends in a left-handed trance In praise of Ale WHenas the Chilly Rock once blows And winter tells a heavy tale When Pyes and Daws and Rooks and Crows Sit cursing of the frosts and snows Then give me ale Ale in Saxon Rumken then Such as will make grim Malkin prate Rouseth up valour in all men Quickens the poets wit and pen Despiseth fate Ale that the absent battle fights And frames the march of Swedish drums Disputes the Princes laws and rights And what is past and what 's to come Tells mortal wights Ale that the plow-mans heart up-keeps And equals it with Tyrants thrones That wipes the eye that over-weeps And lulls in soft and secure sleeps The weary'd bones Grandchild of Ceres Barley's daughter Wine 's emulous neighbour if but stale Ennobling all the Nymphs of water And filling each mans heart with laughter Ha ha give me ale A Riddle of a Goosberry THere is a bush fit for the nonce That beareth pricks and precious stones The fruit of which most Ladies pull 'T is round and smooth and plump and full It yields rare moisture pure and thick And seldom makes a Lady sick They put it in and then they move it Which makes it melt and then they love it So what was round and plump and hard Grows lanck and thin and poor and mar'd The sweetness suckt their holes wipe they And throw the empty skin away A Bull Prologue YOu that do sitting stand to see our Play Which must this night be acted here to day Be silent pray though you aloud do talk Stir not a foot though up and down you walk For every silent noise the Players see Will make them mute and speak full angerly But go not yet untill you do depart And unto us your smiling frownes impart And we most thankless thankful will appear And waite upon you home but yet stay here Another Prologue BE blithe Fobdodles for my author knows How to delight your eyes your ears your nose But first of all your eyes shall pleased be With cloth of Gold Tyssue and Taffare Blow but your nose and purifie that sense For you shall smell perfumes and franckincense And eke soft musick therefore sit you still Smile like the Lilly flower whilst trumpets sound And our endeavours with your love be ctown'd An Epilogue upon the honest Lawyer Gentlemen HE that wrote this Play ne'er made Play before And if this like not ne're will write Play more And so he bid me tell you Loves Progresse WHo ever loves if he do not propose The right true end of love he 's one that goes To sea for nothing but to make him sick ●nd love 's a bear-whelp born if over lick Our love and cause it new strange forms to take We erre and of a lump a monster make Were not a Calf a mons●et that was grown ●ac'd like a man though better then his own ●●●fection is in Unity so prefer ●he woman first and then one thing in her ● where I value Gold may think upon ●he purity the application The wholesomness the ingenuity From rust from soil from fire for ever free But if I love it 't is because its made By our new nature use the soul of trade All this in women we might think upon If women had them and yet love but one Can men more injure women than to say They love for that by which they are not they Makes vertue woman must I cool my bloud Till I both find and see one wise and good May barren angels love so but if we Make love to woman vertue is not she As beauty is not nor wealth he that strayes thu● From her to hers is more adulterous Than he that took her maid Search every sphere And firmament our Cupid is not there He 's an infernal god and under ground With Pluto dwells where gold and fire abound Men to such gods their sacrificing coals Laid not on altars but in pits and holes Although we see celestial bodies move Above the earth the earth we till and love So we her heirs contemplate words and heart And vertues but we love the centrique part Nor is the soul more worthy or more fit For love than that as infinite as it But in attaining this desired place How much they erre that set out at the face The hair a forrest is of ambushes Of springs snares fetters and manicles The brow becalms us when 't is smooth plain And when 't is wrinkled shipwrecks us again Smooth 't is a Paradise where we would have Immortal stay and wrinkled 't is our grave The nose like to the first meridian runs Not twixt an East and West but twixt two suns It leaves a cheek a rosie hemisphere On either side and then directs us where Upon the Islands fortunate we fall Not faint Canaries but ambrosial Her swelling lips to which when we are come We anchor there and think our selves at home For they sing all their Syrens songs and there Wise Delphick Oracles do fill the ear There in a creek where chosen pearls do swell The remora her cleaving tongue doth dwell Those and the promontary fair her Chin O're past and the straight Hellespont between The Sestos and Abidos of her brests Not of two lovers but two loves she nests Succeeds a boundless sea but that thine eye Some Island moles may scattered there discry And sailing towards her India in that way Shall at her fair Atlantick Navel stay Though thence the torrent be thy Pilot made Yet ere thou come where thou wouldst be imbay'd Thou shalt upon another forrest set Where many shipwreck and no farther get VVhen thou art there consider well this chace Mispent by the beginning at the face Rather set on 't below practise my art Some symitry the foot hath with that part Which thou dost seek and is as map for that Lovely enough to stoop but not stay at Least subject to disguise and change it is Men say the Devil-never can change his It is the embleme that hath figured Firmness 't is the first part that comes to bed Civility we see refin'd the kiss Which at the face begun transplanted is Since to the hand since to
my Creed To think that Lovers do as they pretend If all that say they dye had died indeed Sure long e're this the world had had an end 3. Besides we need not love unless we please No destiny can force mans disposition And how can any dye of that disease Whereof himself may be his own Physitian 4. Some one perhaps with long Consumption dry'd And after falling into love may dye But I dare pawn my life he nere had died Had he been half so sound at heart as I. 5. Another rather then incur the slander O● true Apostate will false Martyr prove But I am neither Orpheus nor Leander He neither hang nor drown my self for love 6. Yet I have been a Lover by report And died for Love as many others do But thanks to Iove is was in such a sort That I reviv'd within an hour or two 7. Thus have I liv'd thus have I lov'd till now And know no reason to repent me yet And whosoever otherwise shall do His courage is as little as his wit A SONG 1. DEare Castodoris let me rise Aurora 'gins to jeer me And say that I do wantonize I prethee sweet lye neer me 2. Let Red Aurora blush my deare And Phoebus laughing follow Thou only art Aurora here Let me be thine Apollo 3. It is to envy at thy bliss That they do rise before us Is there such hurt in this or this Nay aye why Castadoris 4. What Arabella can one night Of wanton dalliance try you I could be ever if I might One hour let me desire you 5. Nay fie you hurt me let me go If you so roughly use me What can I say or think of you I prethee sweet excuse me 6. Thy Beauty and thy Love defend I should ungently move thee 'T is blisses sweet that I intend It is not I that love thee 7. I do confess it is but then Since you do so importune That I should once lie down agen Vouchsafe to draw the Cur●aine 8. Aurora and Apollo too May visit silent fields By our consent they nere shall know What bliss our pleasure yeilds A North Countrey Song 1. WHen I'se came first to London Town I wor a Novice as other men are I thought the King had liv'd at the Crown And the way to'l Heaven had been through the Starre 2. I se set up my Horse and Ise went to Pouls Good Lord quo I what a Kirk been here Then Ise did sweare by all Kerson souls It wor a mile long or very near 3. It wor as high as any Hill A Hill quo I nay as a Mountaine Then went Ise up with a very good will But glad wor I to come down again 4. For as I went up my head roe round Then be it known to all Kerson people A man is no little way fro the ground When he 's o' th top of all Poles steeple 5. I se lay down my hot and Ise went to pray But wor not this a most pitious case Afore I had don it wor stolen away who 'd have thought theevs had been in that place 6. Now for my Hot Ise made great moan A stander by unto me said Thou didst not observe the Scripture aright For thou mun a watcht as well as a pray'd 7. Forth thence Ise went and I saw my Lord Major Good lack what a sight was there to see My Lord and his Horse were both of a haire I could not tell which the Mare should be 8. From thence to Westminster I went Where many a brave Lawyer I did see Some of them had a bad intent For there my purss was stolne from me 9. To see the Tombes was my desire I went with many brave fellowes store I gave them a penny that was their hire And he 's but a fool that will give any more 10. Then through the roomes the fellow me led Where all the sights were to be seen And snuffling told me through the nose What formerly the name of those had been 11. Here lyes quoth he Henry the third Thou ly'st like a knave he saies never a word And here lies Richard the second inter'd And here 's stands good King Edwards Sword 12. Under this Chair lyes Iacobs stone The very same stone lyes under the Chaire A very good jest had Iacob but one How got he so many Sons without a paire 13. I staid not there but down with the tide I made great hast and I went my way For I was to see the Lions beside And the Parris-garden all in a day 14. When Ise came there I was in a rage I rayl'd on him that kept the Beares Instead of a Stake was suffered a Stage And in Hunkes his house a crue of Players 15. Then through the Brigg to the Tower Ise went With much adoe Ise entred in And after a peny that I had spent One with a loud voice did thus begin 16. This Lion's the Kings and that is the Queens And this is the Princes that stands hereby With that I went neer to look in the Den. Cods body quoth he why come you so nigh 17. I se made great hast unto my Inne I supt and I went to bed betimes Ise slept and Ise dream't what I had seen And wak't again by Cheapside Chimes Several complexions SHall I woe thee lovely Molly She is fair fat fine and Jolly ●t she hath a trick of folly ●herefore I le have none of Molly ●o no no no no no I 'le have none of Molly ●o no no no no. ●hat say you to pritty Betty ●ave you seen a Lass more pretty ●ut her browes are alwaies swetty ●herefore I 'le have none of Betty no no. When I wooed the lovely Dolly ●hen she streight growes melancholly ● that wench is pestilent holy ●herefore I 'le have none of Dolly no no. When I kist my lovely Franckey ●he makes curchie and saies I thankey But her breath is to to rankey Therefore I 'le none of Frankey no no. ● commend brave minded Barby Shee 'l stand me strike or stabby But her wrists are alwaies Scabby Therefore I will have none of Barby no no. What say you to pretty Benny She thinks good silver is her penny For want of use she is senny Therefore I will have none of Benny no no. I could fancy pritty Nanny But she has the love of many And her self will not love any Therefore I will have none of Nanny no no. In a flax house I saw Rachel As she her flax and tow did hachel But her cheeks hunge like a Sachel Therefore I 'le have none of Rachel no no. When I met with lovely Nally I was bold with her to dally She lay down ere I said shally Therefore I 'l have none of Nally no no. O the Cherry lippes of Nelly They are smooth soft sweet as jelly But she has too big a belly Therefor I 'le have none of Nelly no no. Shall I court the lovely Siby For she can finely dance the fy by