Drench that after that Drinke she should never eate more The Parson seeing Smugs rage increasing with very good words intreated him to be patient and cast away Choller for as I am an honest Sir John and a boone Companion I meant no harme in the world I did but sing the Catch as the Catch was But all these kind words and intreaties could not winne Smug to patience till Mr. Parson turn'd his Song and himselfe in singing from him to the Miller Then they were as good friends as could be and in kindnesse went againe to drinke together till they were all laid drunke to sleepe How Smug being drunke in his Bed pist upon his Wife through a Cullender taken in stead of a Chamber-pot LAbouring at the Liquor all day many times tyred Smug farre worse then his labour at the Forge as it was often seene by him but most especially at this time that I am now to speake of For at this time bee had laboured so hard and no body blame him for he ceast not from morning till night that his legges were not able to beare him to his Bed But what be could not doe himselfe for himselfe the helping hands of some kind Neighbours and friends did in Bed they layd him and left him to get that sleeping that he lost waking There lay be grunting and groaning like a Hog in a Stye turning to and fro from one side of the Bed to the tother for the Liquor wrought so within him that hee could not sleepe as he us'd to drinke soundly for the life of him Within halfe an houre after he had lyen thus tumbling and tossing as if he had lyen upon Nettles his Wife went to Bed to him to rest her after her indeed true Labour But poore Woman she found lesse rest there then in her labour for hee kept such a retching and stretching himselfe such a hunching and punching with his Legs and elbowes that she might have lyen better at east betweene two â—ad-men then by him in that taking As he lay thus labouring laden and over laden with the Liquor he had taken the liquor lay labouring within him for vent Which though hee could very hardly rise to give it handsomely yet hee did his goodwill and reach'd out of the Bed for a Pispot but in stead of a Pispot he tooke a Cullender that stood close by his Bed-side upon a Settle and kneeling upright in his Bed let his ill-digested Liquor run as freely into it and through it upon his â—â—umbring Wife as a Conduit-pipe at waste She presently feeling her selfe warme wet start up and began to brabble with him and cry shame upon him for doing such a beastly deed Why thou Whore quoth Smug wilt thou not give mee leave to pisse If thou crossest my humour but with two crosse words more I le breake the Pisse-pot about the pate of thee therefore be quiet But for all his threatning she would not hâ—ld her tongue That she kept walking still till Smugs fists walked about her eares There was such a sore Baâ—taile in the bed between them as I thinke never was seene between Bed fellowes before and had not a Candle and a cleane paire of Sheets beene quickly carried up to part them there would have been great bloud-shed THO BREVVER SMUG'S Ghost VVHen with the Ayrie Essence sempiterne You might a Body now is dust discerne I was of many set by for Mirth Good Company I lov'd with all my heart And like a boone Companion play'd my part It was fore spoken at my houre of Birth Heart-eating sorrow ne're with me remain'd While I your shape as I have said retain'd My Cogitations were all Airy light I ne're lov'd Hoarder nor the hoarding sinne That coyne my labour brought me one day in I spent in pleasure e're the next dayes night Mad Mr. Peter and my Red fac'd Hoast My dapper Parson whom of all I most Entirely loved for his merry vaine And Banks the Miller that poor thin check'd knave That holpe to beare my body to the Grave Were men of mettle of a perfect straine These men and I made up a matchless Crew For merry Meetings till the ground look'd blew We'd sit and send our soaking Healths about We'd sometime Thieve together in the darke To fetch a feast of Venison from the Parke And where we came we made a fearfull rout Then grant my Ghost this though our bones be rotten Our Names may live and never be forgotten FINIS Here SMVG the SMITH with leave of his Host Doth baffle the Keepers vpon a Signe-Post LONDON Printed for Francis Coles dwelling in the Old-Baily 1567.
side still séeing his own swéeâ— shadow in the Glasse which he took to be the Divell struck at it and with one blow clattered the Glasse all in pieces Now you Whore said he where is your Divell now I think I have mauld him I faith Bring your Divels to me dost thâ—u Thou whore dost thou Alas swéet Smug quoth she séeing him so very much moved be patient I prethée swéet Chuck and showing him the â—rackt frame look here here is no Divell therefore I prethée swéett Oliver be quiet Nay quoth Smug I le tickle your Divels yfaith and your Divels come to â—â—â—est 〈◊〉 within mine owne House upon mine own ground I le Divell them Come good swéet heart quoth she now thou hast beaten the Divell away let us go to bed after a quarter of an hours fretting with very good words she got him to bed In the morning when she knew his sléep had made him sober she shewed him his black face in another Glasse which when â—e saw and knew well what he saw he blusht but the â—est was it could not to séeâ— till his â—izard was taken off with faire wâ—â—eâ— and soape then he confest himself faulty promised amends and weâ—t very close to his labour How cunningly Smug scaped the Keeper and others that pursued him and made him run up and down from place to place to seek him in vain SMug and his and â—rew of Venison-â—aters one night being at their 〈◊〉 were suddenly set upon by their old Enemy that Kéeper two or thrée more that after they had taken great pains to get their prey bound it up handsomely ready to bear it away they were forc'd to 〈…〉 them for fear of a further mischief The Miller he râ—n one way and nimble sir John in his â—uckram 〈◊〉 another way and Smug another way as faâ—â— as if they had him 〈◊〉 up to running all their life time They had no time to take their leave one of another or appoint a place of 〈◊〉 As those 〈◊〉 took severall ways to run so the Kéeper and his 〈…〉 themselves to pursue them one far after the Miller moâ—â—er after sir John and two or thrée after Smug for he was the â—â—ly 〈◊〉 they looked for though all them were knâ—â—n to the Kéeper well enough The Miller be râ—n not far ere he was stay'd with a good pâ—t â—â— the 〈◊〉 Sir Johnâ— followers followed â—o close that he was 〈◊〉 to leap for his liberty over a ditch over he should have 〈◊〉 〈…〉 a short leap layd him â—â— along in ditch and so he was stay'd and taken up with never a dryeâ—â— â—o on him Smug â—e 〈…〉 homewards followed at the héeles â—y the Kéeper and another yet they could not overtake him When he was got to Edmonton with running to and fro up one Lane and down another he got out of the fight of his pursuers but it was so late he could not get into any house to hide him save his own and into that he durst not goe fearing they would go thither to séek him A pretty while he stood studying which way to shift for himself resolâ—ing one while to do this thing another while that another while another At last standing thus in a brown study turning his eyes first one way then another way one while up another while down he spyed the sign of the White â—orse not painted upon a board as they use to be here in the City but fashioned out of Timber and set gallantly over the Digne-post Masse quoth he I care not greatly if I get up and bestride this White Horse and make another S. George here in Edmonton I le doe it yfaith it may be I may sit safer so then any way else if I doe I do if I no not I know the worst on 't 't is but wearing two stocks upon one leg and I am as well able to endure it now as ere I was Vp to the White Horse he get and back'd him bravely with his arm stretch'd out his hammer in his hand in stead of a Sword and the Lippit of his Red Cap tyed under his Chin which stood for his Helmet most featly While he set thus gallantly stâ—â—â—â—ing upon his Woodden horse yet no Hobby-horse the kéeper that followed him so close to have gotten him into his kéeping with the other that was with him went peaking and prying in every 〈◊〉 of the stréet to â—â—d him twice or thrice backward forward they went under him and yet could not sée him but he saw them well enough When they had lost an hâ—â—rs labour or thereabouts in séeking after him without doors they resolved another while to séek him within Come said the Kéeper to the other let us go search the Inns and first this this White Horse is his daily haunt therefore it may be we shall find him here this nighteâ—â—â—â— let us in As the Kéeper was going into the White Horse under Smug his fellow looking up had him stay stay quoth the Kéeper wherefore should I stay Why look you said the other this is not the White Horse as you take it to be this is the George Masse qd the Kéeper 't is the George indéede come let 's over to the White-Horse When they had crost the Way as they thought to the White Horse they found the George againe Zounds qd the Kéeper Jack this is the George too What have we two Georges in Edmonton Foot man where are we If this be Edmonton here was but one George yesterday and the white Horse over against it now here are two Georges one against another this is strange 't is very strange indéed quoth the other Bones man are we not at Hodsdon For thou knowest the two Georges are in Hodsdon Masse thou sayest true Jack and by these Signes this should be Hodsdon Come come quoth the other we mistooke our way tâ—â— the darke this is Hodsdon come let 's up to Edmonton Content qd the Kéeper and together they ran as fast as they could to Hodsdon to find Edmonton When Smug who heard all their talke and sate laughing ready to bewray himselfe with laughter saw them trudging towards Hodsdon be gat down from his white Horse and went to bed leaving them in their Wild-Goose-Chase to séek him When they were come to Hodsdon there they saw the two Georges too for there the Signes stood indéed then they chased swore and stampt like mad-men curs'd poore Smug and his company and vowed to be the death of him if e're they could take him handsomely There they tooke up their Lodging for that night and the next morning went home to their businesse How Smugs Wife locked him in a Doores when hee would have gone abroad a Swaggering and what shift he made to get out and amongst them SMug one-day very early prepared himself to go abroad according to promise the day before a Drinking and to go handsomly he tricked himself vp in his holiday Sute put on a
cleane Band his red-Cap that he might go through stitch with his business without crosse or controulement But alas even as he was ready to go downe the staires his Wise perceiving his intent presently to crosse him stept out of the Chamber before him passed the bodie after her and lockt him in now said shee and pâ—n be hot with anger walke vp and downe and coole your selfe If your walke tire you lye downe and rest you for you shall rest upon no Ale Bench this day This crosse déed and these cutting words of hers vext him that he was almost in a bad a case with fretting as hee had been the day before with drinking yet he saw there was no remedie but patience for neither faire words nor foule could make her turne the Key to let him out From the time he rose till almost Dinner time he walked vp and downe in his Chamber chaâ—â—ng fretting and mumbling like poore Tom of Bedlam in his Barne or bowsing Inne At last to crosse his Wife aswell as she had crost him he tooke an empty Can that stood by upon a little Table tyed it to the end of a long string and put it out at his Chamber-window where it hung dangling like the poore mens Box al Ludgate and he himselfe like the bawling Box man stood péeping through his Lattice crying For the Lords sake for the Lords sake good people pitty a poore Prisoner making his Can daunce at the end of his whip cord with drawing it vp and downe as nimbly as one of the little thred Puppits in the lamentable Motion of Dives and Lazarus Well there he stood in this manner bawling and yawling fill he had drawn as great a company of people together as the babling of a cheating Mountebanke or the foule-fur'd throat of an itchis Ballad singer in a Faire or Market-time To conclude when his Wife saw such a company of people Men women and children gathered about him she poore wretch ashamed to heare him and vext at those that stood gaping about him in a chaâ—â—ng heat as she lockt him in let him out and was glad to be so â—â—d of him How Smug was revenged on his Wife for Locking him in a doores THe day succeeding this vnkind Crosse Smug rose againe very early and put on working day apparell with his old Shéepes-Russet-Button-Cap and went to worke as hard as if he had wrought for a wager he laboured at the Forge but 't was to forge a piece of Knaverie till his sweaty face â—éeked againe All the day long wrought he thus hard without any stop stay or hinderance nay which is more to be wondred at he dranke not above thrice all day and that was as hee used to call it small comfort commonly called small Béere His Wife to sée him work so close as she very well might mervailed and gave him as kind words as he could wish for and sware by the faith of her body she was glad to sée such a sudden alteration He still plying his worke gave her good words for her good words very kindly When his labour had brought on the Evening which brings an end to labour he very kindly requested his Wife to walke with him to nip themselves a little in the Evening for it was a very fine frostie Moone-light evening she very kindly tooke his kind request and went with him Very lovingly they walked together arme in arme out at the Townes end one while this way and another while that even as it pleased him her most vertuous Leader to leade her They walked thus lovingly vp and downe together so long that there was no Candle burning nor one eye open in all the Village then home apace he hyed him When hee was come to the doore ready to enter he sent his Wife on a sléevelesse Errand to the Turning-Stile to his honest neighbour Noddamus while she poore woman was about his bidding mistrusting no Knaverie to be done against her he presently turn'd the Key on the out-side to let himselfe in and on the in-side to lock her out When she was returned from the place afore-named and found the doore lockt and the Key sticking in the in-side she knockt and with her knocking call'd but bonest Smug lay snug and would neither rise to let her in nor make her any answer Then she knew not what to doe but as Women doe wanting their wills safe and cryed to ease her stomack His resolution was set to make her sit all that Night to knock her héeles and blow her nayles at the doore like a poore back-bitten Stall-créeper Never did she chatter better with anger then she did at that time with the coldnesse of the weather that made her téeth goe faster then her tongue When she saw that neither reasonable knocking nor unreasonable calling could raise him shee tooke vp a great Flint-stone and beat against the doore as though she would have beat it downe Then Smug started vp to the window in his shirt and very strangely asked who it was kept such a bounsing at the doore Marry good-man Drunkard quoth she it is I that knocks Wherefore hast thou lockt me out Nay first quoth Smug answer me Wherefore didst thou lock me in 'T was so lately done I am sure thou hast not forgot it or if thou hast thou séest I have not Thou lockedst me in and J have lockt thee out Good Agnis walke goe walke about So talke no longer for I sweare by my Red-Cap and by Bacchus the god of good Liquor I meane to kéepe thée out all night as thou kept'st me in all day and so swéet Agnis till betwéene Seven and eight in the morning farewell To bed went hee againe and left her to shift for her selfe till morning how they agreed when they came together I know not but you may judge she scarce tooke it patiently How Smug quarrel'd with his Fellowes and was ready to fight about the singing of a Catch and how till they turn'd it to his mind he would not be quieâ—ed SMug one day being very merry with his honest swilling Associates from Drinking fell to Singing and amongst all the odde Ale-house Catches they had vp this was one I le tye my Mare in thy ground this I le tye my Mare in thy ground was â—ost so long to and fro betwéene Smug the Miller and the merry Parson that Smug had forgot that he was singing a Catch and began to quarrell with the Parson thinking verily hee had meant as he said in his Song to tye his Mare in his ground Will you tye your Mare in my ground said Smug the Parson sung still I le tye my Mare in thy ground In my ground said Smug still went the Parson for ward with his Catch I le tye my Mare in thy ground c. Then Smug began to swagger indeed and swore If he tyed his Mare in his ground hee would make his Cap and Scull cleave together besides hee would give his Mare such a