Selected quad for the lemma: grace_n
Text snippets containing the quad
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ID |
Title |
Author |
Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) |
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A34159
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The Complaisant companion, or, New jests, witty reparties, bulls, rhodomontado's, and pleasant novels
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1674
(1674)
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Wing C5627; ESTC R20756
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109,488
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244
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in his service hath lost both his Arms and Legs so that he is incapable to serve him further however he hath left a loyall heart which shall ever pray for the welfare of his Majesty On a Lancashire Man A Lancashire man passing by the Watch at Ludgate they stopt him but he would not be stopt for he was in hast they still detaining him he askt them what they were the watch said they the watch quoth he what watch you for the King said they meaning the Kings watch for the King quoth he then by my troth I can bring very good witness that I am no such man for II's een Billy Noddy's son of Lancashire On a Doctor A Doctor in a Coffee-house talking of many things happened at last to averr all bitter things were naturally hot not so Mr Doctor said a stander by why so said the Doctor why I 'le appeal to all the learned Phisicall Authors ancient and modern from Noahs time to this present who all say the quality of bitter things is hot how will it hold with this then Mr Doctor said the other and I must appeal to experience that in a hard frost we say it is bitter sharp weather from whence I gather all bitter things are not hot Another THe same man a little time after in a Coffee-house hearing a Mercer bounce that he had all sorts of stuff what ever in his shop nay that I don't believe said this Gentleman for in your whole shop and and Ware-house I dont think you can show me a pattern of Kitching-stuff On a Parson and a Carter A Carter chanced to overturn his Cart far from any assistance so that the poor Fellow was forced to stand by till he could find some body coming that way that might help him at length a Parson came and thinking to put a joke on the poor Carter said how now Carter what I see thou hast killed the Devil yes in faith master quoth he and I have waited this two hours for a Parson to bury him and now you are come very seasonably On a shoomaker and a Cohler A Shoomaker thought to mock a Cobler being black saying what news from Hell How fares the Devil Faith says the Cobler he was just riding forth as I came thence and pulling on his boots he complained grievoufly that he was in the Shoomakers stocks and desired me to send him a Shoomaker to widen his boots and draw them on for him On an Adulterer A Married man of good note got a Wench with child and was told by the Justice that he thought a man of his repute would not have offered to defile his marriage bed you mistake Sir said he there was no defiling of the bed in the matter for it was done in the field Being accused afterwards by his wife for going into his maids bed you mistake sweet-heart said he for she likes the sport so well that she saves me that labour On a Porter and his wife A Porter coming home one night complained of the many burdens he carried that day the woman though but plain yet very handsome replyed well husband and I bear my share of burdens too though not so heavy le ts be content for as we share in the profit so we will reap the pleasure on 't On a young Wench A Young bucksome baggage with a Candle in her hand was set upon by a hot spurr who by all means must have a bout with her but she vowed if he medled with her she would burn him will you so says he I 'le try that and thereupon blew out the Candle thinking himself safe from the threat however not long after he found she was as good as her word A Surprize A Gentleman being newly trimmed the Barber left only some hairs on his upper lipp visiting a Gentlewoman she innocently said Sir you have a beard above and none below and You says he Madam have a beard below and none above Say you so says she then put one against t'other On a Traveller A Traveller in a cold frosly night coming to his Inn he stood so near the Kitchin fire that he burnt his boots which the Turn-spit boy seeing said Sir you will burn your spurs presently my boots thou meanest Boy no Sir said he they are burned already On a forward young woman ONe said I hear your wife is quick already yes says he a Pox on her she is very nimble for I have been married to her but a month and she is ready to lye down well since it is so I will go and instead of buying one Cradle I will buy half a score for I can't have less then ten Children in a twelve month if she holds on as she begins On a young Gentleman and a Scrivener A Young Gentleman wanting a sum of mony went to a Scrivener desiring him to lend him an hundred pound privately that it might not come to his Fathers ear the Scrâ—vener promised all the secrecey imaginable the Gentleman receiving the moneyâ— and going to seal the Bond read the first line which was Know all by these presents that I F. G. do owe unto c. said the young Gentleman are not you a damned Rogue who for the future will believe you since you promised none should know my debt and yet you say Know all men by these presents c. On a Drawer AT that time when there was an Act that Canary should be sold for eighteen pence a quart a Gentleman in a Tavern called for a pint of that Wine the Drawer brought up the pint not full by one fourth what mean you by this said the Gentleman why is it not full said the Drawer no said the other not by one fourth Sir it was full I can assure you when I was in the Cellar quoth the drawer but to tell you the truth as I came running I spilt what you see is wanting Another SIrrah said a Gentleman if thou drawest me good Wine for my money then thou art fitter to draw then to hang but if thou drawest me bad Wine for my good money then thou art fitter to hang then draw On Oysters ONe being desired to eat some Oysters refused for these reasons first they were ungodly meat because they were eaten without saying Grace unchristian meat because they were eaten a live uncharitable meat because they left no offall to the Poor and unprofitabl'd meat because most commonly there was more spent upon them then they cost and by their means more spent otherwise then they and the recoking a mounted to The Country mans news AN arch Country fellow having been at London upon his return was askt by his she Neighbour what news he heard there news quoth he all the news that I heard was that there was a great press out for Cuckolds Is there so said she then to aviod the worst my husband shall not stir out of doors till the press be over On a decaied Gentleman A Gentleman faln to decay shifted