ruddocks chinking in a bag and yet he were better to have one with lesse money and more huswifery for my one part I would not come to learn of never a Woman in Westminster how to deal in such affairs I think no lesse quoth Richard and therefore I pray God send you a good Husband and one well deserving so good a wife with that Gillian fetcht a great sigh saying Amen I pray God Why then marry me qd Robin and thereby prevent the perish of bad thoughts hark in thy ear Robin quoth she I would thy Master would say so much and then he should soon know my mind Ha ha quoth Robin I faith you drab And would you have him to stamp the crab Why what is the matter quoth Richard nay nothing quoth Gillian but that I was bold to jest with your man and I hope you will not be offended if he and I talk a word or two There is no reason I should quoth Richard therefore confer at your pleasure and the whilst I will be busie with the Lamb-pye then Gillian whispering Robin in the ear spoke in this sort unto him I perceive you can spy day at a little hole Robin I am of opinion that affection groweth as strong in a woman as a man they to have equall priviledge as well as men to speak their minds In truth Robin to be plain I love thy Master with all my heart and if thou wouldst be so much my friend to break the matter unto him and therewithall to procure his good likeing unto me I would bestow on thée as good a sute of apparrell as ever thou wast Master of in thy life whereunto Robin answered saying Here 's my hand Gillian at thy request I le make a vow I le do my best But for my apparell grant me this In earnest first to give me a kisse There it is qd Gillian and I do protest that upon that blessed day when he gives his happy consent to be my husband at the delivery of thy apparell I will make that one kisse twenty and they came to the table and set them down again Richard marking all said nothing but at her approach to the board tooke the glasse and drunk to her giving her thanks for her cost and kindnesse she gladly accepting the same bending her body instead of cursie took it at his hands and drunk unto Robin and so taking her leave of them both shhâ— ran spéedily home So soon as she was gone Robin told his Master it was the pleasentest life in the world to live a Batchelor for he would never want good chéer and company I marry quoth Richard but what I get one way I spend another you sée quoth he here is a foreneoon spent to no purpose I tell thée Robin I account their inticoments dangerous therefore a man must not be won with fair words as a fish with a bait Well quoth Robin all is one to me whether you love or loath them but let not the posset be forgot soon at night Quoth Richard if I rest in the mind I am in now I mean not to be there at all then you will lose her love quoth Robin that said his Master is that I desire for the love of a Shroe is like the shadow of a cloud that soon consumeth and such love is better lost then found Quoth Robin this once follow my mind Though by her love you set but light Let us eat the posser soon at night And afterward I will so deale If you will not my â—ricks reveale That they shall trouble you no more Though by your love they set great store For one another they shall beguile Yet think themselves well pleas'd the while Verily quoth his Master if thou wilt do so I will be Megs guest this once and think my self happy to be so rid of them Hereupon Richard having his Shop windows shut in and his doors made fast He with his man Robin took their direct way to the Spread Eagle where they no sooner knockt at the doore but Margaret came down and let them in and bid them heartily welcome Now Richard quoth she you are a man of your word I pray you come néere for to have you in my Office is my desire quoth Robin was your Office never a fire you see the Kitchin is large and the chimney wide quoth Robin how many Rooks hath your Kitchin tride I know not quoth Meg quoth Robin I think even so Go to quoth Meg but I le let it passe Then taking Richard by the hand she bad him sit down saying good Richard you are welcome I have never a friend in the World that can be better welcome I thank you good Margaret quoth he I thank her still qd Robin in every degree For you that have all the welcome shall give thanks for me Why Robin qd Meg be not offended thou art welcome to me I faith quoth he you bid me welcome when you have nothing else to doe Herewithall Margaret very neatly laid the cloth set a dainty minst Pye on the boord and other good chéere and sent the other maid of the house for a pottle of wine and so fell to their meat merrily when they had eaten and drunk Margaret stept to reach the posset but while she had it in her hand she heard one comming down the stairs Gods precious quoth she my Master comes where shall we hide the posset if he sée it we shall have more anger then ten possets are worth with that she whipt it into the seat of the pâ—ivy house thinking it there safest out of sight her Master being an old crabbed fellow would often steale down to sée what his Maids were a deing the old man being raised by a loosenesse of his body came to pay tribute to Aiax where he clapt his buttocks into the posset wherewith being scalded he cryed out saying help maids or I am spoiled for ever for some Divel hath thrown scalding lead upon my buttocks and in this case he stampt up down the yard holding his hips in his hands Meg. that knew better what the matter was then her Master ran into the house of Office with a spit as if she purposed to broach the Divell casting the posset into the puddle said how now Master what is the matter are you hurt hurt quoth her Master I tell thée Meg never was man thus hurt and yet I am ashamed to shew my hurt bring me a candle quoth Meg I tell you Master it is better all should be shewn then all spoiled and casting up his shirt spied both his great chéeks full of blisters whereupon she was faine to make a medicine with sallet oyle and houseléek to asswage this unséen fire and by this means Richard with his man was fain to slip away which was to Robin no small grief and yet laughing to think how odly this jest fell out I am quoth Robin forty years old and more Yet did I never know posset
so tasted before I think his eyes in his elbowes he had To thrust his aâ—se in the posset or else he was mad His Master answering said Robin I will never go there to eat posset more Margaret coming thither told them she was sorry they were so suddainly broke from their banquet but Y faith Richard quoth she another time shall make amends for all CHAP. 3. How Richard the Cock of Westminster was married to a Dutch Maiden for which cause long Meg and Gillian of the George wore willow Garlands RIchard Castler living a long time a Batchelor in Westminster at last linked his love to a Dutch Maiden dwelling in London To this pretty soule went Richard secretly a wooing who for halfe a year set as light by him as he did by the Maidens of Westminster and the more he was denyed the more he sought her good will But while he was thus busied to make himself blessed by matching with a Maiden in London round Robin cast his wits to set the Maidens of Westminster against him which he effected in this sort Margaret and Gillian coming often by the Shop cast many a Shéeps eye to spy out their beloved friend and finding him not at his Shop they judged that it was not Idlenesse that drew him away but rather that he was gone a wooing to some pretty Wench whereupon Margaret entred into these spéeches with round Robin I wonder quoth Meg where your Master layes his knife aboord now a dayes tell me Robin said she where the Cock doth crow now Not so quoth Robin my Master doth not that allow I must not shew his secrets to one or other Therefore you shal not know it though you were my mother Yet thus much by thy speech I plainly do see Thou thinkst not so well of him as he thinks on thee Margaret hearing round Robin rime to so good a purpose asked if he knew his Masters mind so much therefore swéet Robin let me know whereupon thou speakest Hereupon Robin said that his Master was very well affected towards her and that if it were not for Gillian of the George he would long ere this have uttered his mind to you but quoth Robin he is se haunted by that female spirit that he can rest in no place for her These Words uttered by Robin made Margarets heart leap in her belly wherefore taking gentlely her leave of him she thus began to meditate on the matter Now do I well sée that the tongue of a wise man is in his heart but the heart of a foole is in his tongue and Richard quoth she hast thou born me such secret good will and would never let me know it Thus in a jolly humor Margaret jotted home flatterring her self in her happy fortune in which delight we will leave her and make some rehearseall of Gillians joy who coming in the like manner to Robin asking for his Master was certified by him that for her sake only he lived in such sorrow that he could not stay in his shop and therefore was faine to drive away melancholly by marching abroad O Gillian quoth he had it not béen for two causes he would long ere this have uttered his mind to thée quoth Gillian is it true Robin that thou dost tell me doubt not of that do you think I will tell you a lye Nay good Robin be not angry blame me not to aske a question ask what you will quoth Robin and I may chuse whether I will answer you or no now I have opened my Master secret you were best to blab it through all the town Nay good Robin that is not my mind quoth Gillian but I beséech thée let me know those two causes that kéeps thy Master from uttering his mind Nay soft there lay a staw for fear of stumbling quoth Robin let it suffice you that you know what you know Nay good swéet Robin I pray thée make it not dainty now to tell me all séeing you have begun the day may come that I may requite thy courtesie say you so Gillian now by good Crispianus were it not that I am in hope you would prove kind to my Master and be a good Mistris to us I would not utter one word more Well Robin if ever I come to command thy Masters house and kéep the keys thou shalt sée I will kéep no â—iggards table but you shall have meat and drink in a plentifull manner Robin hearing this told her this tale that his Master loved her intirely and would long since have uttered his mind but for two reasons the first was that he could never find a fit opportunity because of long Meg whose love to him was more then he could wish for if he do but speak and look upon any she presently pouts and lowers which is such a grief to my Master that he is faine to kéep silent The second reason is that he is not wealthy as he could wish himself you would disdain his suit Who I quoth Gillian I tell thée Robin I do more respect his kindnesse then his goods Why then good Gillian quoth Robin hearken hither thrée dayes hence and you shall hear more I warrant thée Robin quoth she and so away she went being as glad of this tidings as her Master was of a good Term Now when his Master came home Robin asked him how he sped in his suit even as Cooks do in baking their Pyes sometimes wel sometimes ill London Wenches are wily Lasses Now she is in one mind by and by in another and to be brief never stedfast in any thing Tush Master quoth Robin stoop not to a Thistle take this comfort what one will not another will I tell you Master these nice Minions are so full of curiosit that they are cleane without courtesie Yet well fare the gallant girls of Westminster that will do more for a man then he will do for himself What is that said his Master mary quoth he to give two kisses before he calls for one That indéed is extraordinary kindnesse quoth Richard but their loves is like braided Wares that is often séen but hardly sold Well Master quoth Robin you know your two old friends Meg and Gillian I what of them quoth Richard I have made them both beléeve that you love them out of all cry And I beshrow thy heart for that qd Richard for therein thou dost both deceive them and discredit me I assure thée I like not such jesting Now gip quoth Robin are you griev'd at my talk And if you be angry I pray go walk Thus do you never esteem of a man Let him do for you the best that he can Richard hearing his man so hot pacified him with many cold and gentle speeches wishing if he had begun any jest that he should finish it with such discretion that no reproach might grow upon him whereupon Robin proceeded in this sort Vpon a time Margaret according to her wonted manner came thither whom Robin peswaded that his
custome of all the pretty Wenches in the City by that means knew the length of every maids foot so well that he above all other best pleased them on Sundays when he came into the Church the Maids eyes were so firmly fixed on him that he could neither look forward backward nor on any side but that he should be sure to have a winke of one a smile of another the third would give him a nod and to be briefe they would all cast on him such gracious looks that it was easie to guesse by their outward countenance their inward affections As he stood a 〈◊〉 at his cutting-boord he should be sure to have twenty cursies made him in an hour by Maidens that past up and down some would bestow on him dainty swéet nosegaies of the fairest flowers they could find and othersome would bring handkerchers of Cambrick and divers such like favours well bewailing their friendship towards him But among many that secretly affected him I will only tell of twaine because above all the rest their merriments do only remain in memory the one of them was called Margaret of the spread Eagle but more commonly known by the name of long Meg of Westminster The other was a proper neat wench named Gillian of the George both of them as wily as they were witty and among all the Maids in Westminster were reputed to be the best servants having therefore good wages they maintained themselves gallantly and therewithall so honestly that no man could quip them with had living though afterward it fell out otherwise as in this History you shall heare Margaret was a Maiden born in Lancashire in height and proportion of body passing the ordinary state of Women but there-withall very comely of amiable countenance her strength was agréeable to her stature and her courage as great as them both she was of quick capacity and pleasant disposition of a liberall heart and such a one as would be suddainly angry and soon pleased being ready to revenge her wrongs by weapons then by words and therein did she differ from the nature of women because she could not abide much babling And albeit she manifested her good will by divers means yet did Richard little regard it having his mind nothing bent unto marriage by means whereof Margaret grew into such sad conceits as changed her cherry chéeks into a gréen wan countenance insomuch that every one wondred to sée her pensivenesse Nay said Gillian if that be all I am at a good point for though my maiden head be somwhat burthensom to bear yet I had rather kéep it then bestow it on a bad Husband but though I say it although I be but a poore wench I have choise of husbands enough and such as I am assured in my conscience would both love me well and kéep me gallantly Wherefore then doe you not marry qd Margaret in my opinion it is the most pleasing'st life that may be when a woman shall have her Husband come and say to her in this sort How now Wife how dost Swéet-heart what wilt thou have Wilt thou have a cup of White-wine or Sack and if there be one good bit better then another she shall be sure to have it At last having well refresht themselves she puts her silver whistle to her mouth and calls her maid to clear the board then going to the fire he sets her on his knée stroaking her chéek checks her under the chin fetching many kisses at her rubie lips and so soon as he hears the bell ring eight a clock he calls her to go to bed with him But when they are once close betwéen a paire of shéets O Gillian then then why what of that qd she Nay nothing says Margaret but they sléep soundly all night Truly qd Gillian there be many wives but few that méet with such kind Husbands But séeing you ask me why I marry not in troth Meg I would tell thée if I had time to stay and therefore farewell good Meg when I sée thée again thou shalt know more of my mind Nay Gillian hear you qd she go but a little way with me and I will go home with you for I have nothing to buy but a a score of Quinces and a couple of Pomegranets Gillian was contented to stay a while and as soon as Margaret had made her market they went homeward where by the way Gillian entred into this communication You did even now demand a question of me and very desirous you were to know why I did not marry when I was so well preferred Trust me Margaret I take you to be my friend which makes me the more willing to unfold my fancy And truth it is that I have forsaken good matches for I might have had Master Cornelius of the Guard if I would who as you know is wealthy yet there was one thing made me to refuse his kind proffer what was that qd Margaret I pray thée tell Quoth she he loved me not so well but I loved another ten times better and therefore it is not good for hands to joyn where hearts agrée not No Meg no there is a youth in our stréet that nearer touches my heart and better pleases my mind for it is an old Proverb two may kéep counsel if one be away Nay then quoth Meg. if you dare not trust me tell me no further notwithstanding I have had credit in as great a matter as yeurs for many a man hath 〈◊〉 his life in my hands and found no hurt thereby and as many 〈◊〉 have committed their secrets to me as men have ventured their bodies with me Go too Margaret you are disposed to jâ—st said Gillian but swear by thy Maiden-head that thou wilt never bewrey nor prevent me in my love and I will shew thée all nay fie do not so qd Margaret shew not all for shame left more sée it then my self for so may they blush at thy boldnesse no trust me qd Gillian for such a one as cannot kéep her Maiden-head will never keep a secret and that made Katherine of the Crane to be such a blab but now Meg I will procéed to the matter What do you think by Richard of the Rose who is up so early every morning that he is called the wakefull cock of Wesminster Oh ho qd Meg is that the man there is no reason I should think amisse of him that every man commends neverthelesse he is no body in respect of riches nothing comparable to Cornelius I will tell thée what qd Gillian that man which néedeth neither to flatter with friends nor borrow of his neighbours hath riches sufficient and he is most poore that hath least wit by which arguments I am able to prove that this Tock is as wealthy as wary for he will sure be beholding to no body or to as few as may be and it is alwaies to be noted that men of such minds do never prove beggers Margaret hearing Gillian so stoutly
to them that live in sorrow but to none should be better welcome then to me What now quoth Margaret whose Mare is dead Art thou a young Wench fair and comely and doth thou despaire of life and all for love O quoth Gillian what are all the men in the world to me now I have lost my Richard Rise quoth Meg come le ts go drink a quart of Sack to wash down sorrow O quoth Gâ—lliâ—n I cannot rise if I might have all the World What if your Father or Mother or some of the Kings Gentlemen intreat you would you not rise never prate I would not rise to the best Lord in the Land nor to no man else nay qd Meg I am sure you would If I do say I am an errant quean Nay qd Meg séeing you say so I have done and therefore I le kéep my breath to cool my pottage A matter said Gillian what matter is it swéet Meg tell me no quoth she t is but but a trifle your swéet heart Richard hath sent his man Robin for you and he tells me he hath a token to deliver to you quoth Gill where is he why comes he not up quoth Meg he counts it more then manners to presse into a maidens chamber O stay a little good Meg and I will go along with you and with that on she slipt her Petticote and would not stay the puptting on her stockings or her shooes why how now Gillian quoth Meg have you fogot your self remember you are sick a bed tush 't is no matter for that said Gillian grief hath too tongues to say and unsay and so she ran down the stairs after Margaret who got Robin to go before to the thrée Tuns who when Gillian came she asked him how his Master did and what his errand was to her Soft first let us drink quoth Robin and then let us talk That we cannot pay for shall be set up in chalk You speak merrily quoth Margaret but I wish I could sée the Wine come once that I may drink a hearty draught for sorrow they say is dry and I find it to be true Then drink hard quoth Robin and bid sorrow adue Thus when they had whipt off two or three quarts Gillian began to grow as pleasant as the best and would know of Robin what he had to say to her nothing qd he but to do my Masters commendation to deliver you his token This token qd she what a Willow Garland is this the best reward he can give me for my good will had he no body to flout but me O intollerable injury quoth Gillian did I take pains to rise out of my warm bed for this Well Margaret if you will agrèe we will wear these disdainfull branches on his marriage day to his great disgrace content quoth Meg look what thou wilt allow I will not dislike so paying the shot away they went At length when the marriage day was come and that the bride in the midst of her friends was set down to dinner Margaret and Gillian attired in red petticotes with white linnen sléedes and fine Holland Aprons having their Willow Garlands on their heads entred the Hall singing this song WHen fancy first fram'd our liking in love sing all of green willow And faithfull affection such motion did move for willow willow willow Where pleasure was plenty we chanced to be sing all of c. There were we enthral'd of our liberty and forced to carry the willow Garlard This young man we liked and loved full dear sing all of c. And in our hearts-closet we kept him ful neer sing willow c He was our hearts pleasure and all our delight sing all of c. We judg'd him the sweetest of all men in sight who gives us unkindly the willow Garland No cost we accounted too much for his sake sing all of c. Fine bands fine handkerchers for him we did make sing c. And yet for our good will our travel and pain sing all of c. We have gotten nothing but scorn and disdain as plainly is prov'd by this willow garland Then pardon our boldnesse thou gentle fair bride sing all of c VVe speak by experience of that we have tride sing willow c. Our overmuch courtesie bread all our woe sing all of green c. But never hereafter we mean so to doe for this only brought us the willow Garland Their song being thus ended the Bride said she was heartily sorrie for their hard fortunes and blaming the Bridegroom for his unkindnesse Nay do not so quoth Meg for you shall finde him kind enough at night but séeing he hath disappointed me in this sort if shall go hard but I will loose my maiden-head as soon as you shall and you shall make good hast then Well Gillian quoth she let us go never will I be tide in affection to one man again while I doe live Well I say little but hencefor ward hang me if I refuse reason when I am reasonably intreated Thus Margaret in a melancholly humor went her wayes and in short time after she forsook VVestminster and attended on the Kings army at Bullen and while the siege lasted became a Landresse to the Camp and in the end she left her life in Islington being very penitent for all her former offences Gillian in the end was married and became a very good house-kéeper living in honest name and fame till her dying day CHAP. 4. How round Robin and his fellows sung before the King THe Kings Majesty having won the strong town of Bullen victoriously he returned into England and according to his accustomed manner lying at hiâ— Palace of White-Hall divers of his Nobility passing up and down VVestminster did many times hear the Iourney men Shoomakers singing whose pleasant songs was so pleasing in the ears of the hearers that it caused them to stay about the doore to hearken thereunto Robin above the rest declared such cunning in his song that he ever obtained the chiefest praise Now you shall understand that by their often singing in the Shop the Iourneymen of that house were noted above all men in VVestminster insomuch that at the last the King had knowledge thereof who caused them to be sent for to the Court Whereupon round Robin and his foure fellows made themselves ready and their Master being of a good mind against the day they should go before the King he suted them all at his own cost in doublets hose of crimson Taffety black velvet Caps on their heads and white Feathers on their legs they had fine yellow stockings Pumps and Pantofles on their féet by their sides each of them wors a faire Sword and in this sort being brought before his Majesty upon their knées they craved pardon for presuming to come into his royall presence The King séeing them to be such proper men and attyred in Gentlemen-like manner had them stand up Why my Lords quoth he
be these the merry minded Shoomakers you spake of they are dread Soveraign said they certainly said the King you are welcome every one but who among you is round Robin My Liege quoth Robin that man am I VVhich in your Graces service will live and dye And these be my fellows every one Ready to wait your royall Grace upon How now Robin said the King what canst thou rime A little my Liege quoth he as I see place and time His Grace laughing heartily told him that he heard say he could sing well Trust me quoth Robin at your Graces request You shall well perceive we will do one best Hereupon the King sate him down where many great Lords and Ladies attended his Highnesse And being in the Christmas time Robin with his fellows had liberty to declare their cunning before our King but his Princely presence did so amate them that they were quite dash'd out of countenance which his Grace perceiving gave them many gracious words of incouragement whereupon they began in this sort singing a song of the winning of Bullen The Song of the winning of Bullen sung before the King by round Robin and his fellows IN the moneth of October our King would go to Dover By leave of Father and the Son A great army of men well appointed there was then before our Noble King to come The valiant Lord Admirall he was Captain Generall Of all the royall Navy sent by Sea The sight was wothy to behold to see the ships of shining gold and flags and streamers sailing all the way At Bullen then arriving with wisdom well contriving the armed men were set in battle ray And Bullen was besieged round our men with drum trumpets sound before it march'd couragious that day Then mark how all things chanced before them was advanced the royall Standard in the bloudy field The Frenchmen standing on the walls to them our English Heralds calls wishing in time their City for to yeeld Our King hath sent to prove you because that he doth love you he profferd mercy if you will imbrace If you deny his kind request and in your obstinacy rest behold you bring your selves in wofull case Quoth they we do deny you and flatly we defie you fair Bullen is a famous Maiden Town For all the deeds that hath been done by conquest never was she won she is a Lady of most high renown VVhen they so unadvised his proffer had despised our Ordinance began to shoot amain Continuing eight hours more for why our King most deeply swore her Maidenhead that he would obtain VVhen thus his Grace had spoken he sent her many a token firie balls and burning brazen rings Fair broad arrows sharp and swift Which came among them with a drift Well garnisht with the gray goose wings This maiden town that lately did shew her self so stately In seeking favour many tears she shed Upon her knees then fell she down saying O King of high renown Save now my life and take my maidenhead Zo thus her self she ventred streight her streets were entred And to the market place she marched free Never a Frenchman durst withstand to hold a weapon in his hand For all the gold that ever he did see Their Song being ended our King cast them a purse with fifty fair Angels for a reward and so they had liberty to depart and when they came home they told their Master all their merriment before the King and what his Grace had bestowed on them and powring the Gold upon the table and their Master told it for them and every mans share was five pound a piece Which when Robin saw he swore he would bestow a supper upon his Master and Mistris though it cost him two angels his fellows hearing him so frée said they would joyn with him and invite all the Shoomakers in Westminster to bear them company Content quoth Robin with all my heart And twenty shillings will I spend for my part And as I am a true man and sung before our King As much shall each of you spend before our parting So shall we have musick and gallant chear Sack and sugar Claret wine strong Ale and Beere This being concluded they met at the sign of the Bell and they were very merry and Robin began to blame his Master that in thrée years time had not got his Mistris with child hold quoth he I have but jested all this while but when I fall on in earnest I will make her belly rise like a Tun of new Ale thou knowest I am the Cock of Westminster I quoth Robin you had that name More for your rising than your goodness in Venus game But suddenly after this his Master dyed being a good friend to decayed house kéepers a worthy example for all men to follow CHAP. 5. The pleasant Story of Peachy the famous Shoomaker of Fleetstreet in London MVch about this time there liv'd in London a rich Shoomaker and a gallant housekéeper who being a brave person was therefore of most men called lustey Peachy he kept all the year long forty sad men and Prentices at work and every one be cloathed in tawny Coats which he gave as his Livery with black Caps and yellow Feathers and every Sunday and holy day when this Gentlemanlike Citizen want to Church in his black Gown garded with Velvet it was his order to have all his men in their Liveries to wait upon him with every man his Sword and Buckler ready at any time it need required It came to passe upon St. Georges day that this Eolly Shoomaker being servant to the Duke of Suffolk went to the Court with all his men after him to give attendance upon his noble Master which some young Gentlemen more wanthen wise pick a quarrel thereby to try his Manhood qd they did you ever sée a Shoomaker a Cobling Companion brave it so as this fellow doth sée what a train of hardy Squires and squaring lads they be they look as if they would fight with Gargantus and yet I durst lay my life they dare scant kill a Hedge-hog I warrant you there is never a Knight that goes with such a train it were good sport to try what they could do My mastes I tell you this fellow is a hardy Coin he is currant mettle y-faith and whensoever you try him you 'l find him not flie a soot With that comes by lusty Tom Stuteley and Strangwidge two gallant Sea Captains who were attired in Crimson Velvet in watched silk thrump hats and white frathers having Pages attending with their weapons ask'd what was the matter marry Captain quoth they we are all beholding to ponder lusty Gallant with so many waiting on him with Tawny Coats S'blood what to be quoth Stuteley be séems to be a gallant man said Stangwide and were it not I sée him in the Duke of Suffolks livery I should take him to be some Lord Nay quoth Stuteley he is some Knight of good living
intreat thée to bury him then do you pay me quoth the Priest Sir Iohn Rainsford séeing him so peremptory swore a great oath that if he did not bury the dead Corpe he would bury him alive a fig for you go bury blind Byard when he is dead The Knight when he heard these words was marvellous angry he commanded his men to take him up and put him into the grave and they took up the Priest and wrapped him to his Gown and put him quick into the grave and cast the earth upon him the Priest cry'd out hold for Christs â—ake and lâ—t me rise and I will bury the head for nought no said the Knight no rising till the general resurrection the Knigh sent for a nother Priest to bury the corps which he did for nothing which being done he gave the poor woman ten shillings and so returned homewards When Sir Iohn came home he told his Lady what he had done his Lady being grieved thereat wisht he had paid for twenty burials then made that one burial 't is done now said the Knight and it cannot be undone again though I kill my self with grief The Dean of the Diocess bearing of it rode presently up to London and complain'd to the King which when his grace heard he was very wroth and sent down Pursedants to apprehead the Knight but he before had forsaken his house and wandred disguised up and down the Countrey where he chanced betwixt Gilford and London to â—â—ght into the company of Harry Nevel and Tom Drum but Harry viewing him well in the face descryed what he was and marvelling much to see him in such distresse made himself not known but sounded him in this sort Sir quoth he whether do you wander or to what place do 〈◊〉 travel Gentle youth said he you may rather ask whâ—refore I travel and then I might answer your question 〈◊〉 quoth Tom I 〈◊〉 lay a 〈◊〉 to of Ale the Peasant is in love Nay quoth Sir Iohn if thou had'st said I travel'd with 〈◊〉 thou haâ—st said â—ight Tush said Tom bridle these foolish pâ—ssions The Knight tooâ— great comfort at his words and having store of Gold about him made them great chear at Kingstone and in the end was content to take their counsel and coming into Fleet-street Tom Drum brought them to Peachies house where such means was used that at last upon the trial of their manhood they were all entertained and so well Peachy liked of Sir John that he vowed he should not be his man but his fellow Within short time after the French-men had landed in the Isle of Wight with about too thousand men of Warre who in several places of that Countrey burned and spoiled many Towns and Villages to the great losse and ruine of that Isleland Our King hearing of the sad dealings of the French-men in that Island presently raised an Army together Peachy that famous and renowned Shoomaker at his own proper cost and charhes set forth thirty of his servants gallantly mounted and well armed and furnished for all assayes and Peachie himself like a most noble and valiant Captain over them mustred them before the King who liked of them so well that he chose seven out of that Company for to be of his own Life-Guard at which time Sir Iohn in disguised manner behaved himself so gallantly and Souldier-like shewed there such good service for the King and his Countreys good that thereby he gained his Majesties Royal favour and was afterwards by him most graciously pardoned for his former faults Peachie of Fleet-greet for his Loyaly to his King was afterwards made his Majesties Shoomaker who lived long after that in great favour and in high estimation with his Sacred Majesty and in great favour with all the honourable Lords of the Court CHAP. 8. Of Tom Drums vants and of his rare entertainment aâ— Mistris Farmers house the fair widow of Fleetstreet THere lived in Fleet-street at this time a fair widdow who was famous for her beauty as she was estéemed for her wealth she was beloved of many Gentlemen and sued unto by divers Citizens but so déep was the memory of her late husband ingraver in her heart that she utterly refused marriage Harry Nevell having his heart fired with the bright beams of this blazing Comet sought all means possible to quench the heat thereof Tom Drum perceiving demanded the cause of his late conceived grief saying how now Hall what wind blows so bleak on your chéeks now hath Cupid the blind slave given thée a bloody nose or a broken head Oh no Tom said he that little Tyrant ayms at no other part but the heart therefore 't is not my head but my heart that bleeds With whom Hall with whom art thou in love tell me man if I bewray your secrets call me dogs nose and spit in my face like a young Kitling I tell thée Harry I am holden in greater account among women then you are awaâ—e and they will more willingly shew their secrets to me then to their Ghostly Father But art thou so in favour with pretty wâ—nches quoth Harry Yes Sir quoth Tom and I tro I have not liv'd thus long but I know how to make a woman love me by a cunning trick that I have I durst lay my life I will make a dozen maids run after me twenty miles for one nights lodging striding who should first bestow her maiden-head on me That trick surpasses all that ever I heard said Harry Nay quoth Tom I le tell thee what a merry prank I plaid once God forgive me for it upon a time on a Saterday in the morning I went into East cheap on purpose to spy what preâ—ty wenches came to Market were I spied a great many as fresh as flowers in May trâ—pping up and down the stréets with hand-baskets on their arms with stammeâ— Petticoats and Lilly white Aprons I did but carry the right leg of a Turtle under my left arm and immediately the wenches were so inamored with my sight that they forsook the Butchers shops and enticed me into the tavern and spent all their money in merriment that thâ—y should have laid out at the Market and I had much adoe to be rid of them for they were ready to go together by the ears for the kisses they would bestâ—w upon me But qd Harry your Art may fail now to help me at a dead list Not so said Tom therefore if there be any in this street that thou hast a mind to thou shalt carry but the head of a dead Crow about thée thou shalt bring her to thy bed were it fâ—ne Mistris Farmer her self But art thou acquaintâ—d with her quoth Harry or dost thou think thou could'st prefer a friend to her spéech I said Tom why I tell thée I am more familiar with her then with Doll our Kitchen-drudge for she will do any thing at my request nay in some sort I can command her I assure thee quoth Harry thâ—se
are high 〈◊〉 and I much wonder you being a young man will not séek a wife that is so wealthy and so make thy self famous by marrying Mistris Farmer for it is likely she could well away to make him her husband to whom she so much opens her hearts secrets T is true quoth Tom and I know that if I spoke but half a word she could never deny me Nay she would spend ten of her twelve silver Apostles on condition I would vouchsafe to be her husband But wot you what Harry it is well known though Lillies be faire in show they be foule in smell and women as they are beautiful so they are deceitful besides Mistris Farmer is too old for me Too old quoth Harry why man she is not so old as Chairing Crosse for in my conscience I think that since her fair eyes beheld the bright sun she never tasted of the fruits of twenty flourishing Sommers therefore her age néed be no hurt to her marriage I will tell thée my mind quoth Tom after that a woman is past sixtéen or seventeen years old I would not give fifteen blew buttons for her But tell me Harry and that truly dost thy like her and if thou dost say so and I will warrant her thine own Gentle Tom Drum quoth Harry be but as good as thy word and do but prefer me to her acquaintance and I will request no greater a courtesie Here is my hand quoth Tom Drum it shall be done The day being set down Harry had prepared himself a faier suit of apparel against the time and Tom Drum in like sort had drest himself in the best manner still bearing Harry in hand telling him that none should be more welcomer to her then himself The day being come Tom takes Harry by the hand and coming to the widdows door Tom falls a ringing of the Bell as if he had been mad the Printice came to the door and asked who was there it is I said Tom open the door for I must speak with your Mistris stay then and will tell her said the boy and leaving him at the door where he sate till he was almost starved Quoth Harry whatsoever your credit is with the Mistris I know not but with the man it is very small Tush quoth Tom I will once again use the help of a Bell-rope At his second ringing out comes one of his maids saying who the Divel is at the door which kéeps such a ringing why 't is I you quean said he who Tom Drum quoth she what would you have I would speak with your Mistris said he trust me you cannot said she for she is at supper with two or thrée that be Sutors the one is Doctor Burket and Alderman Jarvice the other Tush quoth Tom tell me not of Sutors but tell her that I am hear and then 't is well enough well I will quoth she so claps to the door again and kéeps them both out of doors Now said Harry this gear work but illfaverdly for you are little beholding to the maids for ought I sée 't is no matter Harry said he but if their Mistris should know this she would swinge their coats soundly for it and with that one of the boyes opening the door told Tom his Mistris would have him send up his errand what is she so stately that she cannot come down I knew the time when she would have béen glad to have spoken with me I quoth the fellow it may be so when that you have brought her shooes that have pinched her toes Come Harry said Tom I will go up and speak with her quoth the fellow but you shall not therefore kéep back and come you not here Tom Drum séeing himself thus disgrac'd before his fellow Harry being very angry askt if this were the best enterteinment which they could afford their friends and then began to strugle with them which their Mistris hearing roâ—e from the Table to know what the matter was who being certified of Tom Drums sawcinesse she began to check him why fellow quoth she what art thou mad what hast thou to say to me that thou art thus importunate no hurt said he but that this Gentleman and I would bestow a potâ—ls of Wine to have two or thrée hours talk with you I tell thée said she I am not now at leasure therefore honest fellow trouble me no more What quoth he are you grown so coy if you and I were alone I should find you a little milder must no man but Doctor Buâ—ket cast your water is his Pâ—â—sick in most request well I will be better enâ—ertained ere I go for there is never a Flemming of them all shall out-face me Mistris Farmer séeing him so furious answered he should have present entertainment according to his desert whereupon she made no more adoe but bid her servant thrusts him out by the head and shoulders which they presently performed but Harry was by her very modestly answered that if he had any spéech with her the nex day he should be patiently hâ—ard and genly answered with which words he departed and going home he told Tom Drum he was beholding to him for preferring his sute to Mistris Farmer surely you are in high favor with fair women as it séemed by your entertainment Well quoth Tom stout on but I le lay my life had I not brought thee with me no man should have had more welcome then I and now I remember my self that she was displeased that I should make another co-partners of her presence and I remember an old proverb that love and Lordship brooks no fellowship when the Iourneymen heard of this Tom Drums entertainment was spoke of every where and so it becomes a proverb that were it is supposed a man shall not be welcome they 'l say he is like to have Tom Drums entertainment Now to avoid their flouts Tom Drum forsook Fleetstreet and went into Scotland being prest for a Drummer at Muskelbrough field where the noble Duke of Sumâ—erset and the Earl of Warwick wâ—re sent with a noble Army where English and Scots meet there was fought a cruel battel the victory fell to thee English at which time there was slain of the Scots fourtéen thousand fiftéen hundred taken prisoners where we shall leave Tom Drum till his return making mention how Harry Nevel bevaved himself in the mean time in London CHAP. 9. How Harry Nevel wooed Mistris Farmer and deceived Doctor Burket and how they were both beguilâ—d by an Apprentice that dwelt in the house who in the end married her MIstris Farmer for her rare beauty was wondrously wooed by Doctor Burket who did give to her many rich and costly gifts yet Mistris Farmer would hardly accept them least by his cunning he should insert therein more matter then ordinary that might move any motion of love contrary to her natural inclination Vpon a time Harry Nevel coming thither and finding the Doctor very diligent to bréed the Widdows
content plotted how he might cast out the Doctor and so prefer his own suite at last lighting on a device fit for the purpose there was an Gâ—iptian woman at Blackâ—Wall who was in travel with child and could not be delivered by the Midwives thereabout Harry Nevel hearing of it thought it fit to imploy Doctor Burbet about it who in the mean time might the better prefer his own suite to the Widdow Whereupon he sent one to him attired like a servingman booted and spurred who coming to the Widdows house he askt for Doctor Burket what would you have with him said the Maids quoth he my Lady Sunborne hath sent for him in post hast and therefore I must néeds speak with him the Maid presently went and toâ—d him when Doctor Burket heard he took his leave of the Widow and came to the messenger saying how now fellow what wouâ—d your Lady have with me Sir said he she desires you to come with all spéed for she is wondrous sick the Doctor presently took horse and away he goes with the Servingman Harry hearing of his departure came to the Widdow with a smiling countenance and merrily began to wooe her Fair Mistris quoth Harry I know said he it is the custom of women at first to make their denial to their lovers because they would not be accounted easily won or soon entreated ut dear Lady nature hath not adorned your face with such incomparable beauty and fram'd every part so excellently to wound men with woe but to work their content Wherefore now swéet Mistris in the April of your years and the swéet summer of your dayes banish not the pleasure incident to bright beauty but honour me with the fair fruit of your womb and make me blessed by being Father to the issue of your delicate body Nay then Sir said she I perceive you will grow troublesome and shew your self no such men as you professe your self and I may say your friendship is more in words then in déeds and I perceive I must call my maid for a cup of yolding beer before you will depart Nay Lady said he I will save you that labour séeing your love commands me and I pray God grant you in a favourable mind at our next méeting and so he departed Now you shall understand that this gallant widdow had in her house a proper young man which was her Prentice who long had born his Mistris good will at last he declares his mind to a secret friends who comforts him in this sort Tush said she what if she be thy Mistris be not ashamed to shew thy affection to her but try her thou know'st not how fortune may savour thy suit O quoth he if I were out of my time I could have some heart to woe her Pâ—sh stand not on those terms said his friend Francis for she will never requite kindnesses with discourtesies and therefore William be not too fearful The time at last being come that Mistris Farmer had appointed to have her books cast up she gets her to her closet and whistles to her maid to bid William bring her up the books which very willingly he came to her and said Mistris quoth he doubt not but that your estate is good for I have béen as carefull and as just to keep it as if it had béen mine own I am said she the more beholding to thee neither shalt thy true service go unrewarded if I live or if I dye thou shalt not be altogether forgotten These kind spéeches comforted Williams heart whereupon be â—ell to his reckonings roundly till his mind running on his Mistrisses beauty would misse and count three-score and four-score nine score there you misreckon fourty said she O my dear Mistris blame me not if I do so seeing your sweet presence hath made wiser then my self to dote but pardon dear Mistris my presumption in being thus bold to unburthen my hearts affection to you and therefore sweet Mistris despise not him who has been your faithfull fervant but yeeld unto him your savour which may prolong his dayes with blessed years His Mistris with lowring looks made him this answer how now sirra hath my too much mildness made you so saâ—cy can you set your love on no lower pitch but you must seek to be Master of your Mistris Hereupon she commanded her man Richard to take his place and to be fore-man of the shop and gracing him with the keys of her Closet and commanding her man William to fetch her some Oysters and a pint of Claret Wine and bring them to her Chamber Will overjoy'd at these words ran with all speed brought them to her when she saw him she with a smiling countenauce said what Wilkin art thou come that is well done bring them hither said she and the Manchet and Whitewine yes forsooth I will and if you please I will open the Oysters for you which he did and opened faster then she could eat William said she you are quick in opening of Oysters yet 〈◊〉 in costing up your Accounts these words put William in mind of former passages and made him more eager to renew his suit to his dear Mistris and said O my dear Mistris said William 〈◊〉 not a pleasant youth and in the glory of his age to dye which I shall if you deny to grant to me your favor and to make me your husband She thereat seem'd very coy and took it in disgrace yet to herself had granted his request that he proferâ—d such love and liking to her 〈…〉 to him what has my familiarity made you so sawcy at which words William seem'd to be angry and said nay Mistris said he if you had been as willing to grant my request as I have been forward to follow your precepts I might long ere this enjoyed what I now have desired and therewithall he departed These words the seriously took into consideration and told her friends what had past between her man William and she her friends being very willing and told her that he was a proper young man and that â—he might live more happily with him then with Doctor Burket or Harry Nevel at which words the utterly renounces them too and resolves to live and dye with William William hearing her resolute answer spake thus to her I see you have so freely granted my request worthy I were to dye a begger if I should refuse so 〈◊〉 a treasure and thereupon joyned their hearts and hands and being married they lived many happy dayes together CHAP. 10. Of the green King of Saint Martins and his merry feats THâ—re dwelt in Saint Martins a jolly Shoomaker he was commonly called the Green King for that upon a time he shewed himself before King Henry with all his men attâ—nding on him clothed all in gréen Saâ—ten Thâ—s gréen King as they call'd him he was a man very humourous and of a small statute but most valiant and couraious and he continually used
she was had in good reputation with her neighbours and having no néed of any of their Favours every one was ready to pâ—offer her courtesie saying good neighbor if you want any thing tell us and look what friendship we may do you be sure you shall find it I neighbour quoth she I know your kindâ—esse and may speak thereof by experience wrll may I compare you to him that would never bid any man to dinner but at two of the clâ—ck in the afternoon when he was â—ssured they had fiâ—d their bellies before and that they would not touch his meat except for manneâ—s sake wherefore for my part I will give you many thanks for your kindnesses when I take benefit of your pâ—offer Why neighbour we speak for your good quoth they T is true quoth she and so say they that call for wiâ—e to bestow on a drunken man when they know it will do him as much good in his boots as his belly Well neighbour said they God be thanked that you have no cause to make use of any of your friends Marry Amen quoth she for if I had I think I should find few there these and the like gréetings were often betwixt her and her neghbours At last her husband came home and to his great comfort found his Estate so good that he had great cause to bless God for the same for a warm purse is the best medicine for a cold 〈◊〉 that may be The gréen King therefore boasting himself as brave as ever he did haâ—ing sworn himself a faithful companion to his two-handed sword would never go without it Now when his ancient acquaintance saw him again so gallant every one was ready to curry â—avour with him and many would proffer him Wine And where before they were wont to thrust him to the kennell and nothing respecting his poverty they give him now the upper hand in every place saluting him with cap and knée But he remembring how slightly they set by him in his néed did now as slightly estéems heir â—lâ—ttery saying I cry you mercy me thâ—nks I take séen your face but I never knew you for my friend No quoth one I dwell at Aldersgate and am your néer neighbour and so much the worse said the Gréen King wherefore quoth the other because said he I think the place is méet for an honester man I trust sir you know no hurt by me Nor any goodnesse quoth the green King but I remember you are be or one of them of whom once I would have borrowed forty pence yet could not get it if thereby I might have saved forty lives therefore goodman â—og or good man cog or good man dog chuse you whether scrape no acquaintance of me nor come any more in my company I would advise you least with my long sword I chop off your coward legs and make you stand like Saint Martins begger upon two stilts The fellow bearing him say so went his wayes and never durst speak to him afterward CHAP. 11. How the Green King went a walking with his wife and got Anthony now now to play before them in which sort he went with her to Bristol THe Gréen King being a man much given to go abroad his Wife upon a time thus made her moan to him husband quoth she I think you are the unkindest man alive for as often as you walk abroad you were never the man that did once take me in your company it is no small grief unto me while I sit doting at home every sunday and holy day and to sée how other men walk with their wifes and lovingly hear them company into the fields that thereby they may have some recreation after their weeks weary foyle this pleasure have they for their pains but I poor soul could never get such a courtesie at your hands either it must needs be that you love me but little or else you are ashamed of my company and I tell you true you have no reason for the one or the other Well quoth he my dear séeing you are so desirous to walk a broad with me Thursday next is Saint Iames's day against which time prepare your self to go with me to the Fair where by the grace of God I will bestow a fat Pig upon you and there I mean to be merry and doubt not but that I will walk with you till you are weary of walking Nay quoth the I should never be weary of your company though I went with you to the worlds end God a mercy for that wife said he but so doing I doubt I should try you a very good footwoman or a bad flatterer Thus it past till Thursday was come and in the mean season méeting with two or thrée other Shoomakers he asked them if they would walk with him and his wife to Saint Iames's Faire that we will with all our hearts said his fellow Shoomakers but will you not like flinchers go back from your words quoth the gréen King To that they said which if they did they would forfeit unto him a gallon of wine Tush said the gréen King talk not to me of a gallon of wine but will you be bound in a bond of twenty pound a peece to perform it Why quoth the Shoomakers what néeds bands for such a matter as this we hope that you will take our words for a great deal more then this My Masters said the gréen King the world is grown to that pass that wordâ— are become wind and I will trust you as little on your word as long Meg on her honesty therefore if you will be bound in a bond so if not I will make no account of your company The Shoomakers hearing these words and they knowing him to be a man of a merry mind after that they had washed their wits well with Wine to the Scriveners they went and there they bound themselves in twenty pound bond according to his request They had no sooner made amend of this merry match but presently into another Tavern they get and who should they méet but that merry companion Anthony now now who as soon as he spied the gréen King he smiled with a wry 〈◊〉 but joyfully imbraced him with both his hands saying what my dear Master well are you met said Anthony and pray you Sir when came you from the other side of the water by my troth you are welcome and I am glad to see you with all my heart God a mercy good Anthony said the green King but how comes it to passe that you go not so often into Saint Martins as you were wont to do O Master said Anthony you may remember what song I made at your parting when you went to Graves end Yes marry said the gréen King and what of that quoth he by singing that under your window all the merry Shoomakers in Saint Martins have got it by the end and now with their so often singing it up and down amongst their jovial crew that