that frequently seizes him though I am sorry it should happen so unluckily at this time Sir Dav. Distracted say you is he so apt to be distracted Fourb Oh Sir rageing mad we that live by Murder are all so Guilt will never let us sleep I beseech you Sir stand clear of him he 's apt to be very mischievous at these unfortunate hours Blood Have I been drunk with tender Infants blood and ript up teeming Wombs Have these bold hands ransackt the Temples of the Gods and stab'd the Priests before their Altars Have I done this hah Sir Dav. No Sir not that I know Sir I would not say any such thing for all the World Sir worthy Gentleman I beseech you Sir you seem to be a civil person I beseech you Sir to mitigate his passion I 'l do any thing in the World you shall command my whole Estate Fourb Nay after all Sir if you have not a ming to have him quite murder'd if a swinging drubbing to bed-rid him or so will serve your turn you may have it at a cheaper rate a great deal Sir Dav. Truly Sir with all my heart for methinks now I consider matters better I would not by any means be guilty of another mans blood Fourb Why then let me consider to have him beaten substantially a beating that will stick by him will cost you half the money Sir Dav. What one hundred pounds Sure the Devil 's in you or you would not be so unconscionable Blood The Devil where where is the Devil shew me I 'l tell thee Belzâ—bub thou hast broke thy Covenant didst thou not promise me eternal plenty when I resign'd my Soul to thy allurements ' Sir Dav. Ah Lord Blood Touch me not yet I 've yet ten thousand Murders to Act before I 'm thine with all those sins I 'l come with full damnation to thy Caverns of endless pain and houl with thee for ever Sir Dav. Bless us what will become of this mortal Body of mine Where am I Is this a house do I live am I Flesh and Blood Blood There there 's the Feind again don 't chatter so and grin at me if thou must needs have prey take here take him this Tempter that would bribe me with shining Gold to stain my hands with new iniquity Sir Dav. Stand off I charge thee Stain wheresoe'r thou art thou hast no right nor claim to me I 'l have thee bound in Necromantick Charms Heark you Friend has the Gentleman given Soul to the Devil Fourb Only pawn'd it a little that 's all Sir Dav. Let me beseech you Sir to dispatch and get rid of him as soon as you can I would gladly drink a Bottle with you Sir but I hate the Devils Company mortally as for the hundred pound here here it is ready no more words I 'l submit to your good nature and dâ—scretion Fourb Then Wretch take this and make thy peace with the infernal King he loves Riches sacrifice and be at rest Blood 'T is done I 'l follow thee lead on nay if thou smile I more defy thee Eee Fa Fum. Exit Fourb 'T is very odd this Sir Dav. Very odd indeed I 'm glad he 's gone though Fourb Now Sir if you please we 'l refresh our selves with a chearful glass and so Chaque un chez lui I would fain make the Gull drunk a little to put a little mettle into him Sir Dav. With all my heart Sir but no more words of the Devil if you love me Fourb The Devil 's an Ass Sir and here 's a Health to all those that defy the Devil Sir Dav. With all my heart and all his works too Fourb Nay Sir you must do me right I assure you Sir Dav. Not so full I not so full that 's too much of all Conscience in 〈◊〉 Friend these are sad times very sad times but here 's to you Fourb Poâ— o' the times the times are well enough so long as a man has money in his Pocket Sir Dav. 'T is true here I have been bargaining with you about a Murder but never consider that Idolatry is coming in full speed upon the Nation pray what Religion are you of Friend Fourb What Religion am I of sir Sir your humble Servant Sir Dav. Truly a good Conscience is a great happiness and so I 'l pledg you hemph hemph but shan't the Dog be Murdered this Night Fourb My Brother Rogue is gon by this time to set him and the business shall be done effectually I 'l warrant you here 's rest his soul. Sir Dav. With all my Heart Faith I hate to be uncharitable Enter Courtine and Drawer Cour. Look you 't is a very impudent thing not to be drunk by this time shall Rogues stay in Taverns to sip Pints and be Sober when honest Gentlemen are drunk by Gallons I 'll have none on 't Sir Da. Oh Lord whose's there Sit up in his Chair Drawer I beseech your Honour our house will be utterly ruin'd by this means Cour. Damne your house your Wife and Children and all your Family you Dog Beau. Sir who are you To Sir David Sir Da. Who am I Sir what 's that to you Sir will you tickle my Foot you Rouge Cour. I 'll tickle your Guts you Paultroon presently Sir Da. Tickle my guts you Mad-Cap I 'll tickle your Toby if you do Cour. What with that circumsis'd Band That grave hypocrytital Beard of the reformation Cut Old Fellow I believe your a Rogue Sir Da. Sirrah you are a Whore an errant Bitch-Whore I 'll use you like a Whore I 'll kiss you you Jade I 'll Ravish you you Buttuck I am a Justice of the Peace Sirrah and that 's worse Court Dam you Sir I care not if you were a Constable and all his Watch what such a Rogue as you send honest Fellows to prison and countenance Whores in your Jurisdiction for bribery you Mongrel I 'll beat you Sirrah I 'll brain you I 'll murder you you Moon-Calf Throws the Chairs after him Sir Da. Sir Sir Sir Constable Watch stokes stokes stokes murder Ex. Caur Huzza Beaugard Enter Beaugard Sir Jolly Four Well Sir the busiuefs is done we have bargain'd to Murder you Beau. Murder'd whose to be murder'd ha Fourbin Sir Iol. You are to be murder'd Friend you shall be murder'd Friend Beau. But how am I to be murder'd Who 's to murder me I beseech you Four Your humble Servant Fourbin I am the man with your worships leave Sir David has given me this gold to do it handsomely Beau. Sir David uncharitable Cur what Murder an honest Fellow for being Civil to his Family What can this mean Gentlemen Sir Iol. No 't is for not being Civil to his Family that it means Gentleman therefore are yoâ— to be murder'd to Night and buried a Bed with my Lady you Jack Straw you Beau. I understand you Friends the old Gentleman has design'd to have me butcher'd and you have kindly contriv'd to turn it to my
advantage in the affair of Love I am to be murder'd but as it were Gentlemen hah Four Your Honour has a piercing Judgment Sir Captain Courtines gone Beau. No matter let him go he has a design to put in practice this Night too and would perhaps but spoil ours but when Sir Iolly is this business to be brought about Sir Iol. Presently 't is more then time 't were done already go get you gone I say hold hold let 's see your left Ear first hum ha you are a Rogue y' are a Rogue get you gone get you gone go Exeunt SCENE changes to Covent-Garden Piazza Enter Sylvia and Maid in the Balcony Maid But why Madam will you use him so inhumanly I 'm confident he loves you Sylv. Oh! a true Lover is to be found out like a true Saint by the Trial of his patience have you the Cords ready Maid Here they are Madam Sylv. Letv 'em down and be sure what it comes to Trial to pull lustily is Will. the Footman ready Will. At your Ladiships command Madam Sylv. I wonder he should stay so long the Clock has struck twelve Enter Courtine Court Sings And was she not frank and free And was she not kind to me To lock up her Cat in her Cupboard And give her key to me to me To lock up her Cat in her Cupboard And give her key to me Sylv. This must be he Ay 't is he and as I am a Virgin roaring drunk but if I find not a way to make him sober Court Here here 's the Window Ay that 's Hell-door and my damnation's in the inside Sylvia Sylvia Sylvia Dear Imp of Satan appear to thy Servant Sylv. Who calls on Sylvia in this dead of night when rest is wanting to her longing eyes Cour. 'T is a poor wretch can hardly stand upright drunk with thy Love and if he falls he lies Sylv. Courtine is 't you Court Yes Sweet-Heart 't is I art thou ready for me Sylv. Fasten your self to that Cord there there there it is Court Cord where Oh oh here here so now to Heav'n in a string Sylv. Have you done Court Yes I have done Child and wou'd sain be doing too Hussy Sylv. Then pull away hoa up hoa up hoa up so avast there Sir Court Madam Sylv. Are you very much in Love Sir Court Oh damnably Child damnably Sylv. I 'm sorry for 't with all my heart good Night Captain Court Ha gone what left in Erasinus Paradice between Heav'n and Hell If the Constable should take me now for a stragling Monkey hung by the Loins and hunt me with his cry of Watchmen Ah Woman Woman Woman well a merry Life and a short that 's all Sings God prosper long our Noble King Our Lives and Safeties all I am mighty loyal to Night Enter Fourbin and Bloody-bones as from Sir Davids House Fourb Murder Murder Murder help help Murder Court Nay if there be murder stirring 't is high time to shift formy self Climbs up to the Balcony Sylv. Squeaking A h h h h Blood Yonder yonder he comes murder murder murder Ex. Blood and Fourbin Enter Sir David Sir Da. 'T is very Late but Murder is a melancholly business and Night is fit for 't I 'll go home Knocks Verm Who 's there Sir Da. Whose there open the door you Whelp of Babylon Verm Oh Sir y' are Welcome home but here is the saddest news here has been murder committed Sir Sir Da. Hold your Tongue you Fool and go to sleep get you in do you hear you talk of Murder you Rogue you meddle with State-Affairs Get you in The Scene opens the middle of the House and discovers Sir Jolly and the Lady putting Beaugard in order as if he were dead Sir Iol. Ly still ly still you Knave close close when I bid you you had best quest and spoil the sport you had Beau. But pray how long must I lye thus Lady D. I 'll warrant you you 'll think the time mighty tedious Beau. Sweet Creature who can counterfeit Death when you are near him Sir Iol. You shall Sirrah if a body desires you a little so you shall we shall spoil all else all will be spoil'd else Man if you do not Stretch out longer longer yet as long as ever you can so so hold your breath hold your breath very well Enter Maid Mai. Madam here comes Sir David Sir Iol. Odds so now close again as I told you close you Divel now stir if you dare stir but any part about you if you dare now odd I hit you such a rap if you do lye still lye you still Enter Sir David Sir Da. My Dear how dost thou do my Dear I am come Lady D. Ah Sir what is 't y 'ave done Y 'ave ruin'd me your Family your Fortune all is ruin'd where shall we go or whither shall we flye Sir Da. Where shall we go why we 'll go to bed you little Jackadandy why you are not a Wench you Rogue you are a Boâ— a very Boy and I love you the betâ—er for 't Sirrah hei Lady D. Ah Sir see there Sir Da. Bless us a man and bloody what upon my Hall Table Lady D. Two Ruffians brought him in just now pronouncing the inhumane deed was done by your command Sir Iolly came in the distracting Minuâ—e or sure I had dy'd with my distracting Fears how could you think on a revenge so horrid Sir Da. As I hope to be sav'd Neighbour I only bargain'd with 'em â—o Bastinado him in a way or so as one Friend might do another but do you say that he is dead Sir Iol. Dead dead as Clay stark stiff and useless all nothing about him stirring but all 's cold and still I knew him a lusty Fellow once a very metteled Fellow 't is a thousand pitties Sir Da. What shall I do I 'll throw my self upon him kiss his wide wounds and weep till blind as Buzzard Lady D. Oh come not near him there 's such horrid Antipathy follows all murders his wounds would stream afresh shou'd you but touch him Sir Da. Dear Neighbour Dearest Neighbour Friend Sir Iolly as you love Charity pity my wretched Case and give me Counsell I 'l give my Wife and all my Estate to have him live again or shall I bury him in the Arbour at the upper end of the Garden Sir Iol. Alas a day Neighbour never think on 't never think on 't the dogs will find him there as they scrape holes to bury bones in there is but one way that I know of Sir Da. What is it dear Neighbour what is it you see I am upon my knees to you take all I have and ease me of my fears Sir Iol. Truly the best thing that I can think of is putting of him to bed putting him into a warm bed and try to fetch him to life again a warm bed is the best thing in the World my Lady may do much too she 's a good Woman and as
old Clock-case see see now it stirs and is coming this way Verm Alas Sir speak to it you are a Justice ' o peace I beseech you I dare not stay in the House I 'l call the Watch and tell ' em Hell 's broke loose what shall I do oh Exit Sir Da. Oh Vermin if thou art a true Servant have pity on thy Master and do not forsake me in this distressed condition Satan â—e gone I defie thee I 'l repent and be sav'd I 'l say my prayers I 'l go to Church help help help was there any thing or no in what hole shall I hide my self Exit Enter Sir Jolly Fourbin and Bloody-bones Sir Iol. That shou'd be Sir Davy's voice the waiting Woman indeed told me he was afraid and could not sleep pretty Fellows pretty Fellows both y 'ave done your business handsomly what I 'l warrant you have been a Whoring together now hah You do well you do dwell I like you the better for 't what 's a Clock Four Near four Sir 't will not be day yet these two hours Sir Iol. Very well but how got ye into the House Fourb A ragged retainer of the Family Vermin I think they call him let us in as Physitians sent for by your Order Sir Iol. Excellent Rogues and then I hope all things are ready as I gave Directions Fourb To a tittle Sir there shall not be a more critical Observer of your Worships pleasure than your humble Servant the Chevalier Fourbin Sir Iol. Get you gone you Rogue You have a sharp Nose and are a nimble Fellow I have no more to say to you stand aside and be ready when I call here he comes hist hem hem hem Enter Sir Dary Sir Da. Hah what art thou approach thou like the rugged Bank-side Bear the Eastcheap-bull or Monster shewn in Fair take any shape but that and I 'l confront thee Sir Iol. Alas unhappy Man I am thy Friend Sir Da. Thou caust not be my Friend for I defy thee Sir Iolly Neighbour hah is it you are you sure it is you are you Your self if you be give me your hand Alas a day I ha' seen the Devil Sir Iol. The Devil Neighbour Sir Da. Ay Ay there 's no help for 't at first I fancy'd it was a young white Bears Cub danceing in the shadow of my Candle then â— was turn'd to a pair of blew Breaches with wooden leggs on stampt about the room as if all the Cripples in Town had kept their Rendezvouze there when all of a sudden it appeard like a leathern Serpent and with a dreadful clap of Thunder flew out of the Window Sir Iol. Thunder Why I heard no Thunder Sir Da. That may be too what were you asleep Sir Iol. A sleep quotha no no no sleeping this Night for me I assure you Sir Da. Well what 's the best news then How does the Man Sir Iol. E'en as he did before he was born nothing at all he 's Dead Sir Da. Dead what quite dead Sir Iol. As good as dead if not quite dead 't was a horrid Murder and then the terrour of Conscience Neighbour Sir Da. And truly I have a very terrifi'd one Friend though I never found I had any Conscience at all till now pray where about was his death's wound Sir Iol. Just here just under his left Pap a dreadful gash Sir Da. So very wide Sir Iol. Oh as wide as my Hat you might have seen his Lungs Liver and Heart as perfectly as if you had been in his Belly Sir Da. Is there no way to have him privately Buried and conceal this Murder must I needs be hang'd by the neck like a Dog Neighbour do I look as if I would be hang'd Sir Iol. Truly Sir Davy I must deal faithfully with you you do look a little suspitiously at present but have you seen the Devil say you Sir Da. Ay surely it was the Devil nothing else could have frighted me so Sir Iol. Bless us and guard us all the Angels what 's that Sir Da. Potestati sempiternaec ujus benevolentiâ servantur gentes cujus mâ—sericordia Kneels holding up his hands and mut'ring as if he pray'd Sir Iol. Neighbour where are you Friend Sir Davy Sir Da. Ah what ever you do be sure to stand close to me where where is it Sir Iol. Just just there in the shape of a Coach and six Horses against the wall Sir Da. Deliver us all he won't carry me away in that Coach and six will he Sir Iol. Do you see it Sir Da. See it plain plain dear Friend advise me what I shall do Sir Iolly Sir Iolly do you hear nothing Sir Iolly Hah has he left me alone Vermin Verm Sir Sir Da. Am I alive dost thou know me again Am I thy Quondam Master Sir Davy Dunce Verm I hope I shall never forget you Sir Sir Da. Didst thou see nothing Verm Yes Sir methought the House was all o' fire as it were Sir Da. Did'st thou not see how the Devils grinn'd and gnasht their teeth at me Vermin Verm Alas Sir I was afraid one of 'em would have bit off my Nose as he vanisht out of the door Sir Da. Lead me away I 'l go to my Wise I 'l die by my own dear Wife run away to the Temple and call Councellor my Lawyer I 'l make over my Estate presently I shan't live till noon I 'l give all I have to my Wife Hah Vermin Verm Truly Sir she 's a very good Lady Sir Da. Ah much much too good for me Vermin thou can'st not imagine what she has done for me Man she would break her heart if I should give any thing away from her she loves me so dearly Yet if I do die thou shalt have all my old Shoes Verm I hope to see you live Many a fair day yet though Sir Da. Ah my Wife my poor Wife lead me to my poor Wife Exeunt Scene draws and discovers Sir Jolly Beaugard and Lady in her Chamber Lady D. What think you now of a cold wet March over the Mountains Your men tir'd your Baggage not come up but at night a dirty watry Plain to Encamp upon and nothing to shelter you but an old Leager Cloak as tatter'd as your Colours is not this much better now than lying wet and getting the Sciatica Beaug. The hopes of this made all Fatigue easie to me the thoughts of Clarinda have a thousand times 〈…〉 me in my solitude when e're I Marcht I fancy'd still it was to my Clarinda when I fought I imagin'd it was for my Clarinda but when I came home and found Clarinda lost how could you think of wasting but a night in the rank surfeiting arms of this foul feeding Monster this rotten trunck of a Man that lays claim to you Lady D. The perswasion of Friends and the Authority of Parents Beaug. And had you no more Grace than to be rul'd by a Father and Mother Lady D. When you were gone that should