any conditions Tru. Hee cals forth Clerimont and Dauphine How now what thinke you Sirs were 't not a difficult thing to determine which of these two fear'd most Cle. Yes but this feares the brauest the other a whiniling dastard Iack Daw but La-Foole a braue heroique coward and is afraid in a great looke and a stout accent I like him rarely Tru. Had it not beene pitty these two should ha' beene conceal'd Cle. Shall I make a motion Tru. Briefly For I must strike while 't is hot Cle. Shall I goe fetch the Ladies to the Catastrophe Tru. Vmh I by my troth Daup. By no mortall meanes Let them continue in the state of ignorance and erre still thinke 'hem wits and fine fellowes as they haue done 'T were sinne to reforme them Tru. Well J will haue 'hem fetch'd now I thinke on 't for a priuate purpose of mine doe Clerimont fetch 'hem and discourse to 'hem all that 's past and bring 'hem into the Gallery here Daup. This is thy extreme vanitie now thou think'st thou wert vndone if euery Iest thou mak'st were not publish'd Tru. Thou shalt see how vniust thou art presently Clerimont say it was Dauphine's plot Trust mee not if the whole drift bee not for thy good There 's a Carpet i' the next roome put it on with this Scarfe ouer thy face and a Cushion o' thy head and be ready when I call Amorous Away Iohn Daw Daw What good newes Sir Tru. Faith I haue followed and argued with him hard for you I told him you were a Knight and a Scholler and that you knew fortitude did consist magis patiendo quam faciendo magis ferendo quam feriendo Daw It doth so indeed Sir Tru. And that you would suffer I told him so at first he demanded by my troth in my conceipt too much Daw What was it Sir Tru. Your vpper lip and six o' your fore-teeth Daw 'T was vnreasonable Tru. Nay I told him plainly you could not spare 'hem all So after long argument pro con as you know I brought him downe to your two Butter-teeth and them he would haue Daw O did you so why he shall haue 'hem Tru. But he shall not Sir by your leaue The conclusion is this Sir because you shall be very good friends hereafter and this neuer to be remembred or vpbrayded besides that he may not boast he has done any such thing to you in his owne person hee is to come here in disguise giue you fiue kicks in priuate Sir take your Sword from you and lock you vp in that Studie during pleasure Which will be but a little while wee 'll get it releas'd presently Daw Fiue kicks he shall haue six Sir to be friends Tru. Beleeue me you shall not ouer-shoot your selfe to send him that word by me Daw Deliuer it Sir He shall haue it with all my heart to be friends Tru. Friends Nay and he should not be so and heartily too vpon these termes he shall haue me to enemie while I liue Come Sir beare it brauely Daw O God Sir 't is nothing Tru. Tru What 's six kicks to a man that reades Seneca Daw I haue had a hundred Sir Tru. Sir Amorous No speaking one to another Dauphine comes forth and kicks him or rehearsing old matters Daw One two three foure fiue I protest Sir Amorous you shall haue six Tru. Nay I told you should not talke Come giue him six and he will needs Your Sword Now returne to your safe custody you shall presently meete afore the Ladies and be the dearest friends one to another Giue mee the Scarfe now thou shalt beat the other bare-fac'd Stand by Sir Amorous La-F. What 's here A Sword Tru. I cannot helpe it without I should take the quarrell vpon my selfe here he has sent you his Sword La-F. I ll receiue none on 't Tru. And hee wils you to fasten it against a wall and breake your head in some few seuerall places against the Hilts La-F. I will not tell him roundly I cannot endure to shed my owne bloud Tru. Will you not La-F. No I ll beat it against a faire flat wall if that will satisfie him If not he shall beat it himselfe for Amorous Tru. Why this is strange starting off when a man vndertakes for you I offered him another condition will you stand to that La-F. Yes I am content at the blunt Tru. Then you must submit your selfe to bee hood-wink'd in this Skarse and bee led to him where hee will take your Sword from you and make you beare a blow ouer the Mouth Gules and tweakes by the Nose Sans numbre La-F. I am content But why must I be blinded Tru. That 's for your good Sir because if hee should grow insolent vpon this and publish it hereafter to your disgrace which I hope hee will not doe you might sweare safely and protest hee neuer beate you to your knowledge La-F. O I conceiue Tru. I doe not doubt but you 'll bee perfect good friends vpon 't and not dare to vtter an ill thought one of another in future La-F. Not I as God helpe me of him Tru. Nor he of you Sir If he should Come Sir All hid Sir Iohn La-F. Oh Sir Iohn Sir Iohn Dauphine enters to tweake him Oh ô-ô ô ô ô Oh Tru. Good Sir Iohn leaue tweaking you 'll blow his Nose off 'T is Sir Iohn's pleasure you should retyre into the Studie Why now you are friendes All bitternesse betweene you I hope is buried you shall come forth by and by Damon and Pythias vpon 't and embrace with all the ranknesse of Friendship that can bee I trust we shall haue 'hem tamer i' their Language hereafter Dauphine I worship thee Gods will the Ladies haue surpris'd vs Act IIII. Scene VI. Hauing discouerd part of the past Scene aboue Haughty Centaure Mauis Mistris Otter Epicoene Trusty Dauphine Tru-wit c. CEntaure how our iudgements were impos'd on by these adulterate Knights Cen. Nay Madame Mauis was more deceiu'd then wee 't was her commendation vtter'd 'hem in the Colledge Mau. I commended but their wits Madame and their braueries I neuer look'd toward their valours Hau. Sir Dauphine is valiant and a wit too it seemes Mau. And a brauery too Hau. Was this his proiect Mrs. Ot. So Master Clerimont intimates Madame Hau. Good Morose when you come to the Colledge will you bring him with you Hee seemes a very perfect Gentleman Epi. He is so Madame beleeue it Cen. But when will you come Morose Epi. Three or foure dayes hence Madame when I haue got me a Coach and Horses Hau. No to morrow good Morose Centaure shall send you her Coach Mau. Yes faith doe and bring Sir Dauphine with you Hau. Shee has promis'd that Mauis Mau. Hee is a very worthy Gentleman in his exteriors Madame Hau. I he showes he is iudiciall in his clothes Cen. And yet not so superlatiuely neat as some Madame that haue their faces set in a Brake Hau. I
a Female Vertue be You shall it see Prou'd with increase I know to speake and she to hold her peace Doe you conceiue me Gentlemen Daup. No faith how meane you with increase Sir Iohn Daw Why with increase is when I court her for the common cause of Mankind and she sayes nothing but consentire videtur and in time is grauida Daup. Then this is a Ballad of Procreation Cle. A Madrigall of Procreation you mistake Epi. 'Pray giue me my Verses againe Seruant Daw If you you 'll aske 'hem aloud you shall Cle. See here 's Tru-wit againe Act II. Scene IIII Clerimont Tru-wit Dauphine Cutherd Daw Epicoene WHere hast thou beene in the name of madnesse thus accoutred with thy Horne Tru. Where the sound of it might haue pierc'd your senses with gladnesse had you beene in eare-reach of it Dauphine fall downe and worship me I haue forbid the Banes Lad I haue beene with thy vertuous Vncle and haue broke the match Daup. You ha'not I hope Tru. Yes faith and thou shouldst hope otherwise I should repent me this Horne got mee entrance kisse it I had no other way to get in but by fayning to be a Post but when I got in once I prou'd none but rather the contrary turn'd him into a Post or a Stone or what is stiffer with thundring into him the incommodities of a Wife and the miseries of Marriage If euer Gorgon were seene in the shape of a woman he hath seene her in my description I haue put him off o' that sent for euer Why doe you not applaud and adore me Sirs why stand you mute Are you stupid you are not worthy o' the benefit Daup. Did not I tell you mischiefe Cle. I would you had plac'd this benefit somewhere else Tru. Why so Cle. Slight you haue done the most inconsiderate rash weake thing that euer man did to his friend Daup. Friend if the most malicious enemy I haue had studied to inflict an iniury vpon mee it could not bee a greater Tru. Wherein for gods sake Gent come to your selues againe Daup. But I presag'd thus much afore to you Cle. Would my lips had beene soldred when I spake on 't Slight what mou'd you to be thus impertinent Tru. My Masters doe not put on this strange face to pay my courtesie off with this Visor Haue good turnes done you and thanke 'hem this way Daup. Fore Heau'n you haue vndone me That which I haue plotted for and beene maturing now these foure Moneths you haue blasted in a minute now I am lost I may speake This Gentlewoman was lodg'd here by mee o' purpose and to be put vpon my Vncle hath profest this obstinate silence for my sake being my entyre friend and one that for the requitall of such a fortune as to marry him would haue made me very ample conditions where now all my hopes are vtterly miscarryed by this vnlucky accident Cle. Thus 't is when a man will be ignorantly officious doe seruices and not know his why I wonder what curteous itch possess'd you you neuer did absurder part i' your life nor a greater trespasse to friendship to humanitie Daup. Faith you may forgiue it best 't was your cause principally Cle. I know it would it had not Daup. How now Cutberd what newes Cut. The best the happiest that euer was Sir There has beene a mad Gentleman with your Vncle this morning I thinke this be the Gentleman that has almost talk'd him out of his wits with threatning him from Marriage Daup. On I pray thee Cut. And your Vncle Sir he thinkes 't was done by your procurement therefore he will see the partie you wot of presently and if hee like her hee sayes and that shee be so inclining to dombe as I haue told him he sweares hee will marry her to day instantly and not deferre it a minute longer Daup. Excellent beyond our expectation Tru. Beyond your expectation by this light I knew it would be thus Daup. Nay sweet Tru-wit forgiue me Tru. No I was ignorantly officious impertinent this was the absurd weake part Cle. Wilt thou ascribe that to merit now was meere fortune Tru. Fortune meere Prouidence Fortune had not a finger in 't I saw it must necessarily in nature fall out so my genius is neuer false to me in these things Shew mee how it could be otherwise Daup. Nay Gentlemen contend not t is well now Tru. Alasse I let him goe on with inconsiderate and rash and what he pleas'd Cle. Away thou strange iustifier of thy selfe to bee wiser then thou wert by the euent Tru. Euent By this light thou shalt neuer perswade me but I fore-saw it aswell as the Starres themselues Daup. Nay Gentlemen 't is well now doe you two entertaine Sir Iohn Daw with discourse while I send her away with instructions Tru. I 'll be acquainted with her first by your favour Cle. Master Tru-wit Lady a friend of ours Tru. I am sorry I haue not knowne you sooner Lady to celebrate this rare vertue of your silence Cle. Faith an' you had come sooner you should ha' seene and heard her well celebrated in Sir Iohn Daw's Madrigalls Tru. Iacke Daw God saue you when saw you La-Foole Daw Not since last night Master Tru-wit Tru. That 's Miracle I thought you two had beene inseparable Daw He 's gone to inuite his Guests Tru. Gods so tls true what a false memory haue I towards that man I am one I met him e'ne now vpon that he calls his delicate fine blacke Horse rid into a foame with posting from place to place and person to person to giue hem the cue Cle. lest they should forget Tru. Yes there was neuer poore Captaine tooke more paines at a Muster to show men then hee at this meale to shew friends Daw It is his Quarter-feast Sir Cle. What! doe you say so Sir Iohn Tru. Nay Iacke Daw will not be out at the best friends he has to the Talent of his wit where 's his Mistris to heare and applaud him is she gone Daw Is Mistris Epicoene gone Cle. Gone afore with Sir Dauphine I warrant to the place Tru. Gone afore that were a manifest iniurie a disgrace and a halfe to refuse him at such a Festiuall time as this being a Brauery and a Wit too Cle. Tut hee 'll swallow it like Creame hee 's better read in Iure Ciuili then to esteeme any thing a disgrace is offer'd him from a Mistris Daw Nay let her eene goe shee shall sit alone and bee dumbe in her Chamber a Weeke together for Iohn Daw I warrant her do's she refuse me Cle. No Sir doe not take it so to heart shee do's not refuse you but a little neglect you Good faith Tru-wit you were too blame to put it into his head that shee do's refuse him Tru. Shee do's refuse him Sir palpably how euer you mince it An' I were as he I would sweare to speake ne're a word to her to day for 't Daw By this light no
giues you your maintenance I pray you who allowes you your Horse-meat and Mans-meat your three Sutes of Apparell a yeere your foure paire of Stockings one Silke three Worsted your cleane Linnen your Bands and Cuffes when I can get you to weare 'hem 'T is mar'l you ha 'hem on now Who graces you with Courtiers or great Personages to speake to you out of their Coaches and come home to your House Were you euer so much as look'd vpon by a Lord or a Lady before I marryed you but on the Easter or Whitson-holy-dayes and then out at the Banquetting-house windore when Ned Whiting or George Stone were at the stake Tru. For Gods sake let 's goe staue her off him Mrs. Ot. Answere mee to that And did not I take you vp from thence in an olde Greasie Buffe-Doublet with Points and Greene Vellet Sleeues out at the elbowes you forget this Tru. Shee 'll worry him if we helpe not in time Mrs. Ot. O here are some o' the Gallants Goe to behaue your selfe distinctly and with good moralitie Or I protest I 'll take away your exhibition Act III. Scene II. Tru-wit Mrs. Otter Cap. Otter Clerimont Dauphine Cutberd BY your leaue faire Mistris Otter I 'll bee bold to enter these Gentlemen in your acquaintance Mrs. Ot. It shall not be obnoxious or difficill Sir Tru. How do's my noble Captaine Is the Bull Beare and Horse in rerum natura still Ott. Sir Sic visum superis Mrs. Ott. I would you would but intimate 'hem doe Goe your wayes in and get Tosts and Butter made for the Wood-cocks That 's a fit Prouince for you Cle. Alas what a tyrannie is this poore fellow marryed too Tru. O but the sport will be anon when wee get him loose Daup. Dares be euer speake Tru. No Anabaptist euer rail'd with the like licence but marke her Language in the meane-time I beseech you Mrs. Ot. Gentlemen you are very aptly come My Cosin Sir Amorous will be here briefly Tru. In good time Lady Was not Sir Iohn Daw here to aske for him and the company Mrs. Ot. I cannot assure you Mr. Tru-wit Here was a very melancholy Knight in a Ruffe that demanded my subiect for some body a Gentleman I thinke Cle. I that was he Lady Mrs. Ot. But he departed straight I can resolue you Daup. What an excellent choice phrase this Lady expresses in Tru. O Sir she is the onely authenticall Courtier that is not naturally bred one in the Citie Mrs. Ot. You haue taken that report vpon trust Gentlemen Tru. No I assure you the Court gouernes it so Lady in your behalfe Mrs. Ot. I am the Seruant of the Court and Courtiers Sir Tru. They are rather your Idolaters Mrs Ot. Not so Sir Daup. How now Cutberd Any crosse and indeed so ashamed of her iniurie to you that shee desires you to forgiue her and but grace her Wedding with your presence to day She is to be marryed to a very good fortune shee sayes his Vncle old Morose and shee will'd mee in priuate to tell you that shee shall be able to doe you more fauours and with more securitie now then before Daw Did she say so i'faith Cle. Why what doe you thinke of mee Sir Iohn aske Sir Dauphine Daup. Nay I beleeue you Good Sir Dauphine did shee desire me to forgiue her Cle. I assure you Sir Iohn she did Daw Nay then I doe with all my heart and I 'll bee iouiall Cle. Yes for looke you Sir this was the iniurie to you La-Foole intended this Feast to honour her Bridale day and made you the propertie to inuite the Colledge Ladies and promise to bring her and then at the time shee should haue appear'd as his friend to haue giuen you the dor Whereas now Sir Dauphine has brought her to a feeling of it with this kind of satisfaction that you shall bring all the Ladies to the place where she is and be very iouiall and there shee will haue a Dinner which shall be in your name and so disappoint La-Foole to make you good againe and as it were a sauer i' the man Daw As I am a Knight I honour her and forgiue her heartily Cle. About it then presently Tru-wit is gone before to confront the Coaches and to acquaint you with so much if he meet you Ioyne with him and 't is well See heere comes your Antagonist but take you no notice but be verie iouiall La-F. Are the Ladies come Sir Iohn Daw and your Mistris Sir Dauphine you are exceeding welcome and honest Master Clerimont Where 's my Cossen did you see no Collegiats Gentlemen Daup. Collegiats Doe you not heare Sir Amorous how you are abus'd La-F. How Sir Cle. Will you speake so kindly to Sir Iohn Daw that has done you such an affront La-F. Wherein Gentlemen let mee be a Sutor to you to know I beseech you Cle. Why Sir his Mistris is marryed to day to Sir Dauphines Vncle your Cosens Neighbour and hee has diuerted all the Ladies and all your company thether to frustrate your prouision and sticke a disgrace vpon you He was here now to haue intic'd vs away from you too but wee told him his owne I thinke La-F. Has Sir Iohn Daw wrong'd mee so in-humanely Daw Hee has done it Sir Amorous most maliciously and trecherously but if you 'll be rul'd by vs you shall quit him i'faith La-F. Good Gentlemen I 'll make one beleeue it How I pray Daup. Marry Sir get mee your Phesants your Godwits and your best meate and dish it in Siluer Dishes of your Cosens presently and say nothing but clap me a cleane Towell about you like a Sewer and bare-headed march afore it with a good confidence 't is but ouer the way hard by and wee 'll second you where you shall set o' the Boord and bid 'hem welcome to 't which shall show 't is yours and disgrace his preparation vtterly and for your Cosen whereas shee should be troubled here at home with care of making and giuing welcome she shall transferre all that labour thether and be a principall guest her selfe sit rank'd with the Colledge-Honors and bee honor'd and haue her Health drunke as often as bare and as lowd as the best of 'hem La-F. I 'll goe tell her presently It shall bee done that 's resolu'd Cle. I thought hee would not heare it out but 't would take him Daup. Well there bee Guests and meat now how shall we doe for Musique Cle. The smell of the Venison going through the Street will inuite one noyse of Fidlers or other Daup. I would it would call the Trumpeters thether Cle. Faith there is hope they haue intelligence of all Feasts There 's good correspondence betwixt them and the London-Cookes 'T is twenty to one but we haue 'hem Daup. 'T will be a most solemne day for my Vncle and an excellent fit of mirth for vs Cle. I if we can hold vp the aemulation betwixt Foole and Daw and neuer bring them to
Boxe of Instruments Cle. Like a Surgean La-F. For the Mathematiques his Squire his Compasses his Brasse Pens and Black-lead to draw Maps of euery place and person where he comes Cle. How Maps of persons La-F. Yes Sir of Nomentack when he was here and of the Prince of Moldauia and of Mistris Mistris Epicane Cle. Away he has not found our her Latitude I hope La-F. You are a pleasant Gentleman Sir Cle. Faith now we are in priuate let 's wanton it a little and talke waggishly Sir Iohn I am telling Sir Amorous here that you two gouerne the Ladies where e're you come you carry the Feminine Gender afore you Daw They shall rather carry vs afore them if they will Sir Cle. Nay I beleeue that they doe withall But that you are the prime-men in their affections and direct all their actions Daw Not I Sir Amorous is La-F. I protest Sir Iohn is Daw As I hope to rise i' the state Sir Amorous you ha' the person La-F. Sir Iohn you ha' the person and the Discourse too Daw Not I Sir I haue no discourse and then you haue actiuitie beside La-F. I protest Sir Iohn you come as high from Tripoly as I doe euery whit and lift as many ioyn'd stooles and leape ouer 'hem if you would vse it Cle. Well agree on 't together Knights for betweene you you diuide the Kingdome or Common-wealth of Ladies affections I see it and can perceiue a little how they obserue you and fear you indeed You could tell strange Stories my Masters if you would I know Daw Faith we haue seene somewhat Sir La-F. That we haue Vellet Petticoates and wrought Smocks or so Daw I and Nay out with it Sir Iohn doe not enuie your friend the pleasure of hearing when you haue had the delight of tasting Daw Why a doe you speake Sir Amorous La-F. No doe you Sir Iohn Daw Daw I'faith you shall La-F. I'faith you shall Daw Why we haue beene La-F. In the great Bed at Ware together in our time On Sir Iohn Daw Nay doe you Sir Amorous Cle. And these Ladies with you Knights La-F. No excuse vs Sir Daw We must not wound reputation La-F. No matter they were these or others Our bath cost vs fifteene pound when we came home Cle. Doe you heare Sir Iohn you shall tell mee but one thing truly as you loue me Daw If I can I will Sir Cle. You lay in the same house with the Bride here Daw Yes and conuerst with her hourely Sir Cle. And what humour is she of is shee comming and open free Daw O exceeding open Sir I was her Seruant and Sir Amorous was to be Cle. Come you haue both had fauours from her I know and haue heard so much Daw O no Sir La-F. You shall excuse vs Sir we must not wound reputation Cle. Tut she is marryed now and you cannot hurt her with any report and therefore speake plainly how many times yfaith which of you lead first Ha La-F. Sir Iohn had her Mayden-head indeed Daw O it pleases him to say so Sir but Sir Amorous knowes what 's what as well Cle. Do'st thou yfaith Amorous La-F. In a manner Sir Cle. Why I commend you Lads Little knowes Don Bride groome of this Nor shall he for me Daw Hang him mad Oxe Cle. Speake softly here comes his Nephew with the Ladie Haughty Hee 'll get the Ladies from you Sirs if you looke not to him in time La-F. Why if he doe wee 'll fetch 'hem home againe I warrant you Act V. Scene II. Haughtie Dauphine Centaure Mauis Clerimont I Assure you Sir Dauphine it is the price and estimation of your vertue only that hath embarqu'd mee to this aduenture and I could not but make out to tell you nor can I repent me of the act since it is alwayes an argument of some vertue in our selues that wee loue and affect it so in others Daup. Your Ladiship sets too high a price on my weaknesse Hau. Sir I can distinguish Gemmes from Peebles Daup. Are you so skilfull in Stones Hau. And howsoever I may suffer in such a iudgement as yours by admitting equality of ranke or societie with Centaure or Mauis Daup. You doe not Madame I perceiue they are your mere Foyles Hau. Then are you a friend to truth Sir It makes mee loue you the more It is not the outward but the inward man that I affect They are not apprehensiue of an eminent perfection but loue flat and dully Cen. Where are you my Lady Haughty Hau. I come presently Centawe My Chamber Sir my Page shall show you and Trusty my woman shall be euer a wake for you you neede not feare to communicate any thing with her for shee is a Fidelia I pray you weare this Iewell for my sake Sir Dauphine Where 's Mauis Centaure Cen. Within Madame a writing I 'll follow you presently I 'll but speake a word with Sir Dauphine Daup. With me Madame Cen. Good Sir Dauphine doe not trust Haughty nor make any credit to her what euer you doe besides Sir Dauphine I giue you this caution shee is a perfect Courtier and loues no body but for her vses and for her vses she loues all Besides her Phisicians giue her out to be none o' the cleerest whether she pay 'hem or no Heau'n knowes and she 's abode fiftie too and pargets See her in a fore-noone Heere comes Mauis a worse face then shee you would not like this by Candle-light If you 'll come to my Chamber one o' these Mornings early or late in an Euening I 'll tell you more Where 's Haughty Mauis Mau. Within Centaure Cen. What ha' you there Mau. An Italian Riddle for Sir Dauphine you shall not see it yfaith Centaure Good Sir Dauphine solue it for me I 'll call for it anon Cle. How now Dauphine how do'st thou quit thy selfe of these Females Daup. 'Slight they haunt mee like Fayries and giue mee Iewels here I cannot be rid of 'hem Cle O you must not tell though Daup. Masse I forgot that I was neuer so assaulted One loues for vertue and bribes mee with this Another loues mee with caution and so would possesse mee A third brings mee a Riddle here and all are iealous and raile each at other Cle. He reades the Paper A Riddle pray le' mee see 't Sir Dauphine I chose this way of intimation for priuacie The Ladies here I know haue both hope and purpose to make a Collegiate and Seruant of you If I might bee so honour'd as to appeare at any end of so noble a Worke I would enter into a fame of taking Phisicke to morrow and continue you it foure or fiue dayes or longer for your visitation Mauis By my faith a subtle one Call you this a Riddle What 's their plaine dealing trow Daup. We lack Tru-wit to tell vs that Cle. Wee lacke him for somewhat else too his Knights reformados are wound vp as high and insolent as euer they were Daup. You iest Cle No Drunkards