Come fellow-souldiers are you ready to march 2. Commander Whether 1. Commander Into our own native Country for our General is sent sol home 3. Commander Except there be wars in our own Country we cannot go with him 1. Commander I know not whether there be wars or peace but he obeys for he is preparing for his journey 2. Commander Who shall be General when he is gone 3. Commander I know not but I hear the States offers to make our young Lieutenant-General General but he refuseth it 2. Commander Would they would make me General 3. Commander If thou wert General thou wouldst put all method out of order 1. Commander Faith Gentlemen I would lead you most prudently and give you leave to plunder most unanimously 1. Commander And we would fight couragiously to keep what we plunder 2. Commander Come let us go and inquire how our affairs goeth Exeunt Scene 22. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata LOrd Singularity Now Affectionata we have taken our leave of the States I hope thy mind is at peace and freed from fears of being staid Affectionata Yes my my Lord Lord Singularity They did perswade thee much to stay Affectionata They seemed much troubled for your Lordships departure Lord Singularity Truly I will say thus much for my self that I have done them good service and I must say thus much for them that they have rewarded me well Affectionata I have heard my Lord that States seldom rewards a service done wherefore I believe they hope you will return again and sees you for that end Lord Singularity I shall not be unwilling when my Country hath no imployment for me Affectionata Methinks my Lord since you have gotten a fame abroad you should desire to live a setled life at home Lord Singularity A setled life would seem but dull to me that hath no wife nor children Affectionata You may have both If you please my Lord Lord Singularity For children I desire none since I have thee and wives I care not for but what are other mens Enter a Messenger with a Letter to the Lord Singularity Lord Singularity From whence comest thou friend Messenger From Rome my Lord Lord Singularity If you please to stay in the next room I shall speak to you presently Messenger Exit The Lord Singularity breaks up the Letter and reads Lord Singularity Affectionata From whence do you think this Letter comes Affectionata I cannot guess my Lord Lord Singularity From the Pope who hath heard so much of thy youth vertue wit and courage as he desires me to pass thorough Rome im my journey home that he might see thee Affectionata Pray Heaven his Holynesse doth not put me into a Monastery and force me to stay behind you Lord Singularity If he should I will take the habit and be incloistered with thee but he will not inforce a youth that hath no will thereto Affectionata Truly my Lord I have no will to be a Fryer Lord Singularity Indeed it is somewhat too lazie a life which all heroick Spirits shames for those loves liberty and action But I will go and dispatch this Messenger and to morrow we will begin our journey Exeunt Scene 23. Enter the Lady Wagtail and the Lady Amorous LAdy Wagtail Faith Amorous it had been a victory indeed worth the bragging off if we could have taken Sir Peaceable Studious Loves prisoner and could have infettered him in Cupid's bonds Lady Amorous It had been a victory indeed for I will undertake to inslave five Courtiers and ten Souldiers sooner and in less time than one studious Scholar Lady Wagtail But some Scholars are more easily taken than the luxurious Courtiers or deboist Souldiers Lady Amorous O no! for Luxurie and Rapine begets lively Spirits but a study quenches them out Lady Wagtail One would think so by Sir Peaceable Studious but not by some other Scholars that I am acquainted with Lady Amorous But confess Lady Wagtail do not you find a studious Scholar dull company in respect of a vain Courtier and a rough Souldier Lady Wagtail I must confess they that study Philosophy are little too much inclined to morality but those that study Theologie are not so restringent Lady Amorous Well for my part since I have been acquainted with Sir Peaceable Studious I hate all Scholars Exeunt Scene 24. Enter three Men as the Inhabitants of Rome 1. T Is a wonder such a youth as the Lord Singularity's Son is should have so great a wit as to be able to dispute with so many Cardinals 2. Man The greater wonder is that he should have the better of them 1. Man 'T is said the Pope doth admire him and is extreamly taken with him 2. Man If Iove had so much admired him he would have made him his Ganimed 1. Man He offered to make him a living Saint but he thanked his Holyness and said he might Saint him but not make him holy enough to be a Saint for said he I am unfit to have Prayers offered to me that cannot offer Prayers as I ought or live as I should then he offered him a Cardinals hat but he refused it saying he was neither wise enough nor old enough for to accept of it for said he I want Ulisses head and Nestors years to be a Cardinal for though less devotion will serve a Cardinal than a Saint yet politick wisdom is required 3. Man Pray Neighbours tell me which way and by what means I may see this wonderfull youth for I have been out of the Town and not heard of him 2. Man You cannot see him now unless you will follow him where he is gone 1. Man Why whether is he gone 2. Man Into his own Country and hath been gone above this week 3. Man Nay I cannot follow him thither Exeunt Scene 25. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata as being in the Country Lord Singularity Affectionata you have promised me to be ruled by me in every thing so that you may not part from me Affectionata I have my Lord and will obey all your commands so far as I am able Lord Singularity Then I am resolved now I am returned into my own Country to get thee a wife that thy fame and worthy acts may live in thy Posterity Affectionata Iove bless me a wife by Heaven my Lord I am not man enough to marry Lord Singul. There is many as young as you that have been Fathers and have had children Affectionata If they were such as I am they might father Children but never get them Lord Singularity Thou art modest Affectionata but I will have you marry and I will chose thee such a wife as modest as thy self Affectionata Then we never shall have children Sir Lord Singul. Love and acquaintance will give you confidence but tell me truly Affectionata didst thou never court a Mistriss Affectionata No truly Sir Lord Singularity Well I will have you practice Courtship and though I will not directly be your Band or Pimp yet I
by reason they put on their civilest demeanors gracefullest garbs modestest countenance and speaks their most choycest phrases or words when they meet strangers all which makes them appear to their advantage when after acquantaince they will seem but vulgar as when they are used to their ordinary garbs countenances and phrases and that their natures and dispositions were known they will appear to be no better than their Neighbours nay perchance not so good the like will Madamosel Doltche appear to you Matron I do suppose she looks more familiar on her acquaintance than strangers and it is likely she looks more grave and sober on strangers than on her known friends and familiars yet those several looks and countenances may be as pleasing and obliging the one as the other for though the one may be more kind the other may be more respectfull for every ones countenance and behaviour is to be ordered according to the several degrees or relations of several persons and to several persons and to several sexes or according to their condition state life and fortune and according to the times and occasions for women are or should be more free and confident to and in the company of women than men and men are more respectfull in their discourse and behaviour to women than to their own Sex and a merry countenance in a sad condition or state of life or fortunes would not be seemly mirth in the house of mourning would be inhumane or to dance or sing over the Graves of their Parents Children Husbands Wives or Friends would be unnatural or to be merry in the time of a general calamity as in time of VVars Plagues or Famine or Deluges or to be sad or froward in a general rejoycing but a sad countenance and a grave behaviour is as fitting and seems comely and handsome in a time of calamity as a merry countenance and a dancing behaviour in a time of rejoycing for tears becomes the face sometimes as well as smiles and blushing may appear and expresse a modest nature to strangers when to familiar acquaintantances blushing might be thought an accuser or witnesse of some crime yet bashfull eyes at all times becomes modest Virgins Volante I hate bashfull eyes for they are like to troubled waters thick and unsteady rouling from place to place without an assurance for modest Virgins may look upon the VVorld with a confident brow if they have no guilt to stain their cheeks with blushes and surely amongst well-bred persons there is none so rude injurious or uncivil to force the bloud to rise or stop the light in causing bashfull eyes but such as condemns a confident countenance in Virgins faces my eye of understanding will cast a despising glance on such ridiculous fools and the tongue of reason condemns them Ex. Scene 31. Enter Madam la Mere and Madamosel Caprisia her daughter MERE I wonder Daughter you should be so rudely uncivil to Monsieur Generosity to use him so unkindly as to entertain him with scornfull words and disrespectfull behaviour Capris. Why did he come to visit me Mere To offer his service and to professe his affection to your person and vertue Capris. I care not for his service or affection Mere But he is a person of an honourable Title and can make you a great Lady Capris. Give me leave to tell you Mother that nature hath given me Titles of Honour Wit and Beauty to which all men will bow to with respect Titles from Kings poor petty things to those Mere But Daughter let me tell you that wit and beauty without modesty civility and vertuous courtesie may insnare facile fools and allure fond persons but not perswade the judicious to esteem you nor the constant to sue to you nor true love to desire you you may have vain Boasters and amotous Flatterers to court you but none that is wise or honourable will marry you and to use this Noble Lord so disrespectfully who is indued with vertue and adorned with the graces and beloved of the Muses is a crime unpardonable Capris. Mother the Muses and the Graces are Witches which enchants the soul and charms the Spirits and makes the Senses extravagant and the actions desperate Mere Methinks they should charm you if they have such power Capris. My humour is a Spell against all such charms Ex. Scene 32. Enter Monsieur Profession and Monsieur Comorade his Friend COmorade You are well met for I was going to your lodging to see you Profession And I am now going home and therefore let us go together Comorade Where have you been Profession At a house you often resort to Comorade What at a Bawdy-house Profession Yes Comorade Why how durst you venture Profession Why Comorade Why why if your angelical Mistresse should come to hear of it Faith she would bury your heart again Profession Yes is it were not out of her power Comorade Why hath she not the Possession Profession No saith Comorade How comes that to passe Profession I know not how but upon some dislike it grew weary and by some opportunity it found it stole home and since it hath promised never to leave me again for it hath confessed to me it hath been most miserably tormented with doubts fears jealousies and despairs Comorade Prethee let me tell thee as a friend that thy heart is a false lying heart for there inhabits no torments amongst angelical bodies Profession By your favour in Plutoes Court there be Angels as well and as many as in Ioves But let me tell you that if I did not love you very well I would call you to an account for calling my heart a false lying heart Comorade Prethee pacifie thy self for I am sure I have had but a heartless friend of thee all the time of thy hearts absence and if I should rayle of thy heart thou hast no reason to condemn me but prethee tell me had not thy heart some pleasure sometimes to mitigate the torments Profession No saith for my heart tells me that what with rigid vertue cruel scorn and insulting pride it never had a minutes pleasure nor so much as a moment of ease and if that there were no more hopes of happiness amongst the Gods in Heaven than there is amongst the Goddesses on Earth it would never desire to go to them or dwell amongst them Nay my heart says it should be as much affraid to go to Heaven and to be with the Gods as mortals are to go to Hell to be with Divels Comorade But if pleasure and happiness is not to be found with vertue nor with the Gods where shall we seek for it Profession I will tell you what my heart saith and doth assure me that is that pleasure lives alwaies with vice and that good fellowship is amongst the damned and it doth swear it is a most melancholly life to live with those that are called the blessed which are the Goddesses on Earth Comorade Why then let us return to the house from
envy and malice will bring against us but consider Sir that when the foot of fame hath trod upon the tongue of envy it will be silent Father Never fear me child if thou faintest not Sansp. I fear not my self for I have an undoubted faith that the Child of such a father can neither be a Coward nor a fool for from you I receive a value or prize although of my self I should be worth nothing and Parents and Children may speak freely their thoughts let them move which way they will for Children ought not to conceal them but if deceit must be used let it be with strangers not friends Father O Child thou hast spoke but what I thought on and the very same I wisht finding thy tongue volable thy voyce tuneable thy speech eloquent thy wit quick thy expressions easy thy conceits and conceptions new thy fancies curious and fine thy Inventions subtle thy dispositions sweet and gentle thy behaviour gracefull thy countenance modest thy person beautifull thy yeares young all this I thought to my self might raise the a Trophy when a Husband would bury the in his armes and so thou to become thy own fames Tomb Sansp. Oh! But how shall we pacify my mother who is resolved not to be quiet until I go to live at the Court as likewise to marry Father I have thought of that and you know that your mother is well bred a tender mother and a chast wife yet she is violent and is not to be altered from her opinions humours and will till time wearyes her out of them wherefore we must not oppose her but rather sooth her in her humour and for marrying we will allwayes find some fault in the man or his Estate person or breeding or his humour or his wit prudence temperance courage or conduct or the like which we may truly do without dissembling for I believe there is no man but that some exceptions may be justly found to speak against him but you and I will sit in Councel about it Ex. Scene 6. Enter the Lord de l' Amour and meets the Lady Innocence LOrd de l' Amour Well met for if accident had not befriended me you would not have been so kind as to have met me for I percieve you strived to shun me Lady Innocence The reason is I was affraid my presence would not be acceptable Lord de l' Amour You never stay to try whether it would or not but surely if your conversation be answerable to your beauty your Company cannot but be pleasing Lady Innocence I doubt I am to young to be hansome for time hath not shapt me yet into a perfect form for nature hath but laid the draught mixt the collours for time to work with which he as yet hath neither placed nor drawn them right so that beauty in me is not as yet fully finished and as my beauty so I doubt my wit is imperfect and the ignorance of youth makes a discord in discourse being not so experiencedly learned nor artificially practised as to speak harmoniously where the want makes my conversation dull with circumspection and fear which makes my wordes flow through my lips like lead heavy and slow Lord de l' Amour Thy wit sounds as thy beauty appears the one charms the eares the other attracts the eyes Lady Innocence You have been more bountifull to me in your praises than Nature in her gifts Lord de l' Amour Since I perceive you to be so pleasing we will be better acquainted Ex. Scene 7. Enter 2. or 3. Philosophers This Scene of the Phylosophers the Lord Marquess writ 1. PHilosopher Come my learned brothers are we come now to hear a girle to read lectures of naturall Philosophy to teach us Are all our studyes come to this 2. Philosopher Her doting father is to blame he should be punished for this great affront to us that 's learned men 3. Philosopher Philosophers should be men of yeares with grave and Auster lookes whose countenances should like rigid lawes affright men from vanityes with long wise beards sprinkled with gray that every hair might teach the bare young Chins for to obey And every sentence to be delivered like the Law in flames and lightning and flashes with great thunder a foolish girle to offer for to read O times O manners 1. Philosopher Beauty and favour and tender years a female which nature hath denyed hair on her Chin so smooth her brow as not to admit one Philosophycall wrinckle and she to teach a Monster t is in Nature since Nature hath denyed that sex that fortitude of brain 2. Philosopher Counsel her father that her mother may instruct her in high huswifry as milking Kyne as making Cheese Churning Butter and raising past and to preserve confectionary and to teach her the use of her needle and to get her a Husband and then to practise naturall Philosophy without a Lecture 3. Philosopher 'T is a prodigious thing a girle to read Philosophy O divine Plato how thy Soul will now be troubled Diogenes repents his Tub and Seneca will burn his bookes in anger And old Aristotle wish he had never been the master of all Schooles now to be taught and by a girle 1. Philosopher Have patience and but hear her and then we shall have matter store to speak and write against her and to pull down her fame indeed her very lecture will disgrace her more than we can write and be revenged thus by her tongue 2. Philosopher Content let us then go and hear her for our sport not being worth our anger Ex. Here ends the Lord Marquess of Newcastle ACT III Scene 8. Enter the Lady Innocence and her Maid MAid By my truth Mistriss the Lord de l' Amour is a fine person Lady Innocence The truth is that he seems as if Nature had given to time the finest and richest stuff in her Shop to make his person off and time as the Tayler hath wrought and shapt his person into the most becoming fashion but yet if his Soul be not answerable to his person he is fine no otherwayes but as a fashionable and gay sute of Cloath on a deformed body the Cloathes may be fine and hansome but the body ill favoured so the body may be hansome but the Soul a foul deformed creature Maid But a fine and hansome body may hide a deformed Soul although a fine sute of Clothes will not hide a deformed body for a deformed body will be perceived in dispight of the fine Clothes Lady Innocence So will a deformed Soul in the dispight of a hansome body for the Soul will appear in the Actions as the body in the shape being as crooked in vice as the body in Limbs Maid What is the actions of the Soul Lady Innocence The passions and will Maid But man obscures the passions and restrains the will Lady Innocence So man may obscure his body and bombast his Cloathes but it is as impossible to restrain an evil
bred up in Schools of Art to rules forms and tenses the other is bred up in the School of Nature which only observes her rules and studies her works for though all Oratours are not Poets yet all Poets are naturall Oratours and hath a naturall eloquent and elegant and easy expression for if a man should have a Poeticall brain if he had not a full expression to deliver his conceits they would be as if they were not for as their may be several fancies and conceits raised from one object or subject so there requires several significant words to express them for as time is the markes of eternity so words are the markes of things but indeed Poets hath a harder task than Oratours for Oratours builds their discourse upon solid grounds when Poets builds their discourse upon airy foundations but the two principles of Poetry is similizing and distinguishing which are fancy and judgment and some Poets braines are so happy that as soon as they have bre or created any fancy the tongue is ready to deliver them but some brains are a long time in breeding and some fancies puts the brain into great pains and hot and painfull throwes and some tongues as ill Midwifes strangles strong fancies in the birth but a volable tongue is like an expert and understanding Midwife which makes easy safe and quick dispatch for wit and judgment are both the Children of the brain begot by Nature being both Twin Sisters and so Ingenious and Inventive they are that they build their arguments so curiously and compile the sence into so small a compass that there is no waste room nor superfluous wordes nor painted phraises nor useless parentheses nor obstructed Sentences for they build with phancy and compile with similizing cut and carved with Allegoryes polisht with numbers and oftimes adorned with Rhime the persons to which wit and judgment the Children of Nature are placed as Sojourners or Boorders are Poets who are Natures favourites and for the education of her Children she rewards them by inriching their mindes though not their purses for she leaves that to Fortune but Fortune through Envy to Nature is seldome their friend Also Nature gives her Favourite Poets delights for Poets takes more delight and pleasure in their own thoughts and conceptions than an absolute Monarch in his power and Supremacy for like as Birds that hops from Bough to Bough whereon they sit and sing so Poets thoughts moves from Theam to Theam making sweet Melody and as Hens broods Chickens which Chickens are not hacht untill they have strength to pick a passage through their shels with their Bils and when they are fledg'd flies from their Nest on a high perching branch so the brain layes Imaginations and brood fancies and the tongue as a Bil picks a passage through the lips and being feathered with words winged with verse flyes up even with numbers to fames high Tower but the Muses the Handmaids to Nature doth as all other Maidens loves the Courtship of the Masculine Sex which is the cause or reason they seldome visit their own Sex but passes their time in the Company and Conversation of men by some men they are only admired and loved by others they are saed to and enjoyed which happy Suters are Poets but the Muses as all other Female takes a delight to enjoy their Lovers alone that makes them seperate themselves from other Company and Poets as all Lovers doth love solitude wherefore Poets the lovers of the Muses and the Muses lovers of the Poets oftimes chooseth a soletary life as being a Paradise for Innocent delight wherein the Senses lyes on soft banks of repose the whilst the mind with a sober and serious peace walkes in the silent shades of contemplation shunning the hot and burning Sun of high ambition and there the active thoughts the Children of the mind in harmless sports doth with the Muses play and on their heads Garlands of Phancy wear made all of Rhetoricks choisest flowers whose Cullours fresh and gay thus are the thoughts adorned and deckt as the fair Month of May about this paradise which paradise is a soletary life the calm smooth River of safety flowes which Winds or Circles in the life from suffering or acting injury or wrong And from this River of safety runs many streams of pleasures wherein the mind refreshing Bathes secure and free no false witness to accuse their Innocency no tempestuous storms nor dreadfull Thunders hard nor flashing lightning there appears all is their Serene and clear unless sometimes thin Clouds of Melancholly falls in fresh showring tears or from the heart ariseth some gentle sighs which breathing out Fans like to Zephyrus Winds and in this solitary life 3. Trees doth grow Peace Rest and Silence are they named the fruits they bare is plenty ease and quite On which the mind deliciously cloth seed Whose lushious Iuice tranquility as fat doth breed Reason the Nerves and Grissels of the mind Grows strong and cures the understanding blind Ther 's none but Fools this happy life would shun Such as would seek in ruggid wayes to run O Fools O Fools to love their torments so That they will rather choose to hell than Heavens go But there is no man can enjoy this worldly Paradise without a defence for none can live in peace that is not prepared as ready for War for both the Theological Civil Common and Accustomary Laws are protected by the Marshall Law and the Marshall Power is the Supream Authority placing and displacing and is the Monarchical Power that doth not only protect all other Laws but commands them with threats and is obeyed with Terrour and fear honoured for the fame and hated for the Tiranny but Souldiery is a painfull carefull and dangerous although noble profession but as I said t is one of the safest and securest protections for it is protection to the weak and infirm to the decreped and aged to the shiftless youth and to the saint fearfull and tender effeminate Sex it is a guard unto the Ashes of the dead to the Monuments of the Meritorious and to the Temples of the Gods And were it not for Marshall-Discipline there could be no peace kept truth and right would be torn from the Owners Justice would be pulled out of her Seat Monarchy thrown out of his Throne and though a Souldier may loose his life sooner than Nature did ordain yet in recompence honour buryes him and fame builds him a glorious Monument over his sleeping Ashes but by reason that fame is a Souldiers chief reward I ought not to pass it by whithout mentioning it As for fame it is a second life and as I may say the Soul of merit but there is a difference betwixt the Records of time Fame and Infamy for there are many things that are writ in the Records of time that is neither in Fames Tower nor Infamies Dungeon that which is writ in the Records of time is strange accidents unlucky chances unusuall
at least VVanton That 's all one for Cupid wounds Age as well as youth Ease But I had thought that an old womans heart had been so hard Love could not have enter'd VVanton Old Mother Matron proves it otherwise for her Heart is as tender as the youngest Heart of us all Idle While I am young I will be a Lover because I will not be a Fool when I am old Ease That 's the way to be a Fool whilst you are young and a Lover when you are old VVanton No that is to be a Curtezan whilst she is young and a Bawd when she is old Idle Nay faith when I can no longer traffique for my self I will never trade for any other VVanton Covetousness will tempt your reverent Age Exeunt Scene 9. Enter Ambition Pleasure Faction Portrait Bon' Esprit Superbe Wanton Ease Excess PLeasure How shall we entertain our time Portrait Let us sit and chuse Husbands Bon' Esprit What in the Ashes Portrait No in our Speeches Faction Content Ambition Begin but let your Maids Lady Pleasure sit and chuse Husbands with us Pleasure If I were to chuse a Husband I would chuse a man that was honourably born nobly bred wisely taught civilly behav'd also I would have him to speak rationally wittily and eloquently to act prudently valiantly justly and temperately to live freely magnificently and peaceably I would have him honourably born because I would not have him a Boor by Nature which is surly rude grumbling and miserable I would have him nobly bred because I would not have him a Shark a Cheat or a Sycophant I would have him wisely taught because I would not have him an ignorant fool nor a pedantical fool I would have him civilly-behav'd to please my Eyes I would have him to speak rational witty and eloquent to please my Ears I would have him valiant to defend his Country to guard his Family and to maintain his Honour I would have him prudent to foresee misfortunes and to provide for the future that I may never want for the present I would have him temperate lest Excess should ruine his Fortune Health or Esteem I would have him just because others should be just to him to live freely as not to be inslaved to live magnificently for to be respected to live peaceably to avoid brawleries And such a man as this will be kind to his Wife loving to his Children bountiful to his Servants courteous to his Friends civil to Strangers faithful to his Trust and just to his Promise Superbe If I were to choose a Husband I would choose a man that were Rich honour'd with Titles and were Powerful I would have him Rich because I would have him live plentifully to feed luxuriously to be adorn'd gloriously I would have him to have Titles of Honour because I would take place of my Neighbours to have the chief place at a Feast and to have the first and choisest meats offer'd me I would have him Powerful to oppose my Opposers to insult over my Enemies and to neglect my Friends which if I be poor and helpless they will do me Thus I shall be honour'd by my Superiours crouch'd to by Inferiours flatter'd by Sycophants brag'd of by my Friends obey'd by my Servants respected by my Acquaintance envy'd by my Neighbours sought to by my Enemies Thus I might advance my Friends punish my Enemies tread down my Superiours inslave my Inferiours insult over my Foes and inthrone my self Ambition If I were to choose a Husband I would choose a man whom all other men are slaves to and he mine And what can I desire more than to be absolute Bon' Esprit If I were to choose I would choose a man for a Husband that were an honest and plain-dealing man patient and wise that I might neither be deceiv'd by his falshood nor troubl'd with his quarrels nor vex'd with his follies Faction If I were to choose a Husband I would choose a subtil crafty Knave that can cheat an honest Fool with which cheats I can entertain my time like those that go to see Juglers play tricks VVanton If I were to choose a Husband I would choose a man that were blind deaf and dumb that he might neither trouble me with his impertinent Questions nor see my indiscreet Actions nor hear my foolish Discourses Thus I may say what I will and never be crost do what I will and never be hinder'd go where I will and never be watch'd come when I will and never be examin'd entertain whom I will and never be rebuk'd Thus I may Govern as I will Spend as I will Spare as I will without Controlment Portrait If I were to choose a Husband I would choose a man that were industrious thrifty and thriving for the pleasure is not so much to enjoy as getting like those that are hungry have more pleasure in eating their meat than when their stomacks are full Excess If I were to choose a Husband I would choose a man that were a busie Fool which would continually bring me fresh although false News for his busie mind which fills his Head with Projects which Projects will feed my excessive Ambition with his high Designs although improbable and set my thoughts at work with his several Atchievments although there is no leading-path therein But howsoever this will furnish my Imagination imploy my Thoughts please my Curiosity and entertain my time with Varieties wherein and wherewith I may pass my life with fine Phantasms or like a fine Dream Pleasure It is a sign you love sleep excessively well so as you would have your life pass as a dream Excess Why Madam sleeping is the lifes Elizium and our dreams the pastime therein and our beds are our living graves to the greatest part of our life and most are best pleased therein for it gives rest to our wearied and tired limbs it revives the weak and fainting spirits it eases the sick and pained it pacifies the grieved it humours the melancholy it cherishes age it nourishes youth it begets warmth it cools heat it restores health it prolongs life and keeps the mind in peace Ease I will not choose but vvish and pray which is if ever I marry I pray Jove that I may out-live my Husband Bon' Esprit O fie Women pray that their Husbands may out-live them Ease If they do in my Conscience they dissemble but howsoever I will never pray so for I perceive when men are Widowers they are more hasty to marry again than Batchellors are and the last love blots out the first and I should be sorry to be blotted out Ambition But if men do marry after they have buried their first Wife yet perchance they will not love their second Wife so well as the first Ease I know not that but yet to the outward view I perceive a man seems to forget his first Wife in the presence of his second Wife Faction By your favour a second Wife puts a Husband in remembrance of
charitable ones But this damn'd money this runnagade this vagabond money 1 Gent. But if you had a statute to whip her home to her own Parish it would do well Letgo I Iack but there is no such law the more the pity but this abominable money disorders all the World What work makes it betwixt Parents and Children Husbands and Wives Brothers and Sisters Masters and Servants Landlords and Tenants Citizens and their Prentices Mistrisses and their Maids and between Kings and their subject Corrupts all the World breaks Friendship betrays Friends raises Rebellions commits Treason and corrupts Virgins It is the Pander and Bawd to all business the States-man is fed by this damn'd Lady Pecunia the Lawyer serves her the Merchants her slave the Shop-keeper her vassal and the Countryman her Tenant Lords and Ladies her pensioners and greatest Monarchs pay tribute to her the Logician argues for her the Orator pleads for her and many Ecclesiasticals preach for her the Vicar General and his Conclave are rul'd by her and the poor Poet she draws his copperas from his ink and makes him flatter her This horrid Lady Sorceress so to bewitch the World Is there no law against this Enchantress that thus doth still abuse the World and all that 's in it The very Souldiers sword is charmed by her and all his guns are silent at her presence This she-devil 3 Gentlem. But I would you had your she-devil again for all that But what Pious and Charitable Consideration had you if you had your money again Letgo Marry Sir First I would build an Hospital for decay'd Ladies that were maim'd in Venus's wars losing a nose or so never yet any care taken of them the more is the pity 2 Gent. Very good and what next Letgo Next I would buy such a piece of ground and build a Bedlam and then put in all such Divines as preach themselvs out of their power and riches and I would put all such Lawyers in as pleaded themselves out of practice and all such Citizens as petition'd themselves out of trade 3 Gentlem. These are good and pious Acts But would not you provide a place or means for such as were undone by playing at Dice and Cards and the like Letgo No they should have only Fools Coats to be known by and I would be the Master of them Exeunt Here ends my Lord Marquiss of Newcastles Writing Scene 35. Enter Mistris Parle Mistris Trifle Mistris Vanity Mistris Fondly and a Matron to the Lady Gosling These all bid her Ioy She thanks them in a low Voice and a constrain'd and formal Behaviour and a foolish grave Countenance TRifle How doth your Husband Madam Lady Gosling I hope he 's well he 's gone abroad Parle You look pale since you were maried Gosling I was not very well this morning for I could not eat my Breakfast truly I have lost my stomack since I have been maried Vanity Perchance you are breeding Gosling Oh fie no surely but yet my Maid laughs and tells me I am Matron I hope Lady you are not breeding already for you have not been maried above three days Gosling I have heard that some have been with Child as soon as they were maried and my Maid told me she served a Mistris who the next day she was maried was with Child Matron By my Faith that was very soon The Lady Gosling pulls off her Glove to take her Handkerchief a pretence to shew her Wedding-ring Fondly Me thinks it is strange to see you have a Wedding-ring on your Thumb Gosling You will come to wear a Wedding-ring on your Thumb one of these days Trifle What is the Posie Gosling I like too well to change Parle 'T is well you do for if you did not you could hardly change unless your Husband dies Gosling Heaven forbid for I would not have him die for all the World for he is one of the lovingest and fondest Husbands that ever was Matron The first Moneth is a fond Moneth Lady Parle And are you fond of him Gosling Yes truly for I hang about his neck when he is at home Matron But you will weary your Husband Lady if you hang a long time Gosling I would very fain you did see my Husband Parle We much desire so to do She calls her Maid Joan The Maid answers as within Madam Gosling Is your Master Sir Anthony Gossing come home yet Maid No Madam Gosling In truth he is too blame to stay out so long knowing I am not well when he is away Vanity Are you sick in his absence Gosling I am best pleas'd when he is with me Matron New-maried Wives are always so but after they have been maried some time they are worst pleased when their Husbands are with them Exeunt Scene 36. Enter the Lady Prudence as a Bride that 's very finely drest in glorious Apparel her Bridegroom in poor old cloaths He leads her as to the Church limping with his Wooden Leg The Bridal Guests seem to make signs of scorning as they follow They all go out but two Gentlemen 1 GEntlem. Me thinks it is a strange sight to see such a Bride and such a Bridegroom I do imagine them to be like Pluto and Proserpine 2 Gent. Nay rather they are like Venus and Vulcan 1 Gent. But she is too chaste to entertain a Mars to Cuckold him 2 Gent. It is to be hop'd she will take her liberty with variety for extravagant love is seldom constant 1 Gent. If that rule prove true he may be a Cuckold indeed 2 Gent. 'T is likely he will for women chuse to marry such deformed men a purpose first to excuse their fault thinking the World will never condemn them their Husbands being ill-favour'dly mis-shapen or thinking their Husbands will be well content knowing their own infirmities to be a sharer 1 Gent. But I wonder she did not new-cloath him for though he is not so rich to buy himself a Wedding-Suit yet she hath means enough to buy him many several suits and rich 2 Gent. There was no time to make him Wedding-cloaths because he came not till his Wedding-day 1 Gent. Well let us go see them maried and wish them joy Exeunt Scene 37 Enter Sir Thomas Letgo Sir William Holdfast and two or three other Gentlemen So far of this Scene as Sir Thomas Letgo's the Marquis of Newcastle writ LEtgo Since my losses I have such a desire of Revenge as my fingers itch to be at it and the Palsie is in my elbow with the imagination of throwing those partial bones call'd by the Vulgar Dice they say they are square fellows but I doubt it Well have at them whatsoever comes on 't for I long more for them than the great Belly that long'd to bite her Husbands Nose or to give him a box on the Ear or she that threw her loaf into a barrel of Tar and if I have not my longings in my Conscience I shall miscarry 1 Gent. Take heed Sir that you do
and quite from my Patience which makes me miserable and Misery is worse than Death for Death is a cessation of pain and Misery a torment of life But if this Report be true I will lay more curses on his head than a long penitential life shall be able to take off Exit Enter the two Maids of Sir John Dotard 1 MAid Lord Briget is so proud since she is preferr'd to be my Masters Laundry-maid as she will touch none but my Masters linnen 2 Maid She is become very fine upon her preferment I am sure it is not five or ten pound wages that will or can maintain her at that rate she goes for she hath had to my knowledge two new pair of shooes within three weeks of each other whereupon I told her that the shooes that she cast by would be very strong and serviceable if they were cobled and her Answer was what did I think she would wear cobled shooes I told her why not now as well as she did for she us'd to send her shooes to be cobled three or four times over and her wastcoat to be patch'd and her petticoats to be new-border'd and her stockings to be heel'd as the rest of us did and I knew of no Lands that had befallen her and therefore she may doe the same still 1 Maid And what said she then 2 Maid She bid me meddle with my own matters and not meddle with her and I dare not offend her for fear I should be turn'd away nay she is so proud as she turns her head aside when Richard the Carter comes to kiss her and she strives to shun his company when once within a short time she would make haste to wash her dishes that she might have time to sit in Richards Lap and there they would sit colling and kissing until the sea-coal-site was burn'd out 2 Maid But now she sits in a better seat Exeunt Scene 8. Enter Mistris Forsaken in mans Apparel naming her self Monsieur Disguise MOnsieur Disguise I cannot believe he will prove so false and perjurious but this Disguise I hope will bring me to discover the Truth And if he be false for his sake may all the Masculine Sex be slaves to the Effeminate Sex not bound by Love but by base servile fear may they long after the power but never get it may women govern the World and when they command the men dare not disobey and be despis'd for their reward may their Jealousies disturb their Rest their Cares increase their Labours may they work like Horses fawn like Dogs and bear like Asses But if he be constant may all the Masculine Sex be bless'd for his sake may all women desire admire and love him may Pleasure imbrace him Health preserve him and Time attend him may he be arm'd with Power crown'd with Peace and all Obedience bow to his command may the sound but of his Name bring joy to all hearts may all be pleas'd for his Birth pray for his Life and fear his Death may good Fortune trace his ways whilst he tides upon the wings of a glorious Fame Exeunt Scene 9. Enter Sir Francis Inconstant as in another Country with his new Mistris INconstant Sweet Mistris you are the Elixar of Beauty all other women are as unrefin'd metal like base coyn New Mistris Whilst I am unmarry'd you 'l flatter me but when I am your Wife you will change your complemental discourse to quarrelling disputes or insulting commands Inconstant O never never your Eye shall direct all my Actions your Commands shall rule my Life and your Pleasures shall be my onely Delight Exeunt Scene 10. Enter Sir James Hearty and his Man HEarty Here take this Note that you may not forget the Guests that are to be invited to my Daughters Wedding The man takes the Note and looks on it Can you read it Man I cannot tell Sir Hearty Let me hear if you can or not Man Imprimis Sir William Lovewell and the Lady Hypocondria his Wife Item Sir Henry Sage and the Lady Chastity his Wife Item Sir Edward Courtly and the Lady Iealousie his Wife and Mistris Iane Single her Sister Item Sir Thomas Cuckold and the Lady Wanton his Wife Item Sir Humphey Disagree and the Lady Disagree his Wife Item Sir Timothy Spendall and the Lady Poverty his Wife Item the Lady Procurer Item Monsieur Amorous Hearty Well read well read As for the Lord Widower I know he will not come for I hear his Lady is newly dead This is the Nature of the World some marry and some die Man Troth Sir of the two Evils I think it is better to die than to marry Hearty I am not of your mind for I had rather have a ruddy plain soft Wench to be my Bed-fellow than pale grim lean numb cold Death But go your way about this Imployment the whilst I will give direction for the Entertainment Exeunt Scene 11. Enter the Lord VVidower and the Lady Sprightly his Eldest Daughter and other small Children and Doll Subtilty all weeping LOrd We have reason to weep for you my Children have lost a good Mother and I a loving Wife and her servants a kind Lady but we cannot alter Heavens Decrees wherefore we must take comfort in what is and not grieve for what cannot be helpt And now Daughter Sprightly you must be as my Wife Friend and Daughter all in one for as your Mother did when she had health govern my Family so must you now she is dead and you must take care of your young Brothers and Sisters and Heaven will reward thee with a good Husband and Children of your own And as for her Maid here who hath taken great pains all the time of your Mothers sickness ought to be rewarded for her care wherefore Daughter let her wait upon you as she did upon your Mother Doll Subtilty I thank your Lordship Exeunt Scene 12. Enter all the Bridal Guests and pass over the Stage as thorough a Room Scene 13. Enter Monsieur Disguise as from the sea MOnsieur Disguise Surely the Fates have conspired against me the winds were so cross just like men sometimes for us and sometimes against us Enter a Skipper Have you found out the Gentlemans lodging Skipper Yes Sir Disguise And was he at home Skipper He hath that which will invite him to stay at home and keep him from wandring abroad for some time Sir Disguise What 's that Skipper A fair Wife Sir for a drunken Serving-man told me that one Sir Francis Inconstant had maried his Masters Daughter and that the Wedding-Feast would continue a Week if not a Fortnight Disguise And was the man drunk that told you so Skipper Yes surely he seem'd so to me Disguise Then perchance he might tell you a lye Skipper He was not so drunk but that he might tell a truth Disguise Prethee Friend do me one favour more and then I will pay thee for thy pains Skipper What you please to command me
take their leaves of their Wives Madam Jantil and Madam Passionate Madam Jantil young and beautifull Madam Passionate in years Madam Iantil. I cannot chuse but take it unkindly that you will go without me do you mistrust my affection as that I have not as much love for you as the Generals Lady hath for her Husband or do you desire to leave me because you would take a Mistriss along with you one that perchance hath more Beauty than you think me to have with whom you may securely and freely sit in your Tent and gaze upon or one that hath more wit than I whose sweet smooth and flattering words may charm your thoughts and draw your Soul out of your ears to sit upon her Lips or dancing with delight upon her Tongue Seigneur Valeroso Prethee Wife be not jealous I vow to Heaven no other Beauty can attract my eyes but thine nor any sound can please my brain but what thy charming Tongue sends in besides I prise not what thy Body is but how thy Soul 's adorn'd thy virtue would make me think thee fair although thou wert deformed and wittier far than Mercury hadst thou Midas's ears but thou hast all that man can wish of women kind and that is the reason I will leave thee safe at home for I am loth to venture all my wealth and happiness in Fortunes unconstant Bark suffering thy tender youth and Sex to float on the rough waves of chance where dangers like to Northern winds blow high and who can know but that fatal gusts may come and overwhelm thee and drown all my joys wherefore for my sake keep thy self safe at home Madam Iantil. I shall obey you but yet I think it were not well I should be a long time from you and at a great distance Seigneur Valeroso I will promise you if I perceive the War is like to be prolonged and that there be Garrison-Towns so safe as you may securely live in I will send for you placing you so where sometimes I may visit you Madam Iantil. Pray do not forget me so much as to cancell your promise Seigneur Valeroso Forget the sweet I should sooner forget life and if I do whilst I have memory Heaven forget me Madam Iantil. I must ask you a question which is to know why you will take an under command being so nobly Born and bearing a high Title of Honour your self and being Master of a great Estate Seigneur Valeroso To let the World see my Courage is above my Birth Wealth or Pride and that I prefer inward worth before outward Title and I had rather give my life to the Enemy on honourable terms than basely to stay at home in time of general Wars out of an ambitious discontent for valour had rather have dangers to fight with than Offices to command in Seigneur Valeroso and his Lady whispers while the other two Monsieur la Hardy and his Lady speaks Madam Passionate Why should you go to the Wars now you are in years and not so fit for action as those that are young and have their strengths about them besides we have lived a married pair above these thirty years and never parted and shall we now be seperated when we are old She weeps Monsieur la Hardy Alas Wife what would you have me do when I am commanded out I must obey besides I would not have my Country fight a Battel whilst I live and I not make one for all the World for when I cannot fight my Body shall serve to stop a breach wherefore leave your crying Wife and fall to praying for our safe return and here my noble friend is desirous you should stay with his Lady to comfort one another and to divert Melancholy and the longing hours of our return Madam Passionate Farewell I fear I shall never see you again for your absence will soon kill me She cryes Exeunt Scene 8. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. O you are welcome from the Army what news 2 Gent. VVhy our Army march'd untill they came unto the frontiers of the Kingdome where they found the Army of the Enemy ready to encounter them the Lord General seeing they must of necessity fight a Battel thought best to call a Council of VVar that there might be nothing of ill conduct laid to his chardge but that all might be ordered by a wise and experienced Council whereupon he made an election of Counsellors joyning together three sorts as grave wife and prudent men subtill and politick men and valiant skillfull martiall men that the cold temper of the prudent might allay the hot temper of the valiant and that the politick might be as ingenious to serve them together by subtill devises and to make traps of Stragems to catch in the Enemy and at this Council many debates there were but at last they did conclude a Battel must be fought but first they did decree that all the women should be sent into one of their Garrison Towns some two dayes journey from the Army the reasons were that if they should be overcome by their Enemyes the women might be taken by their Enemyes and made Slaves using or abusing them as they pleased but when the women were sent away they did not shed tears of sorrow but sent such vollies of angry words as wounded many mens hearts but when they were almost at the Town that was to be their aboad the Generals Lady was so extremely incensed against the Counsellers by reason they decreed her departure with the others as she strove to raise up the Spirits of the rest of her Sex to the height of her own but what the issue will be I know not 1 Gent. Have you been with the King 2 Gent. Yes I was sent to give him an account of the Army Exeunt Scene 9. Enter the Lady Victoria and a number of women of all sorts with her she takes her stand upon a heap of green Turfs as being in the Fields before the Garrison Town and then speaks to those women LAdy Victoria Most Heroical Spirits of most chast and loving Wives Mistrisses Sisters Children or Friends I know you came not from your several Houses and homes into this Army meerly to enjoy your Husbands Lovers Parents and Friends in their safe and secure Garrisons or only to share of their troublesome and tedious marches but to venture also in their dangerous and cruell Battels to run their Fortunes and to force Destiny to joyn you to their Periods but the Masculine Sex hath separated us and cast us out of their Companyes either out of their loving care and desire of preserving our lives and liberties lest we might be distroyed in their confusions or taken Prisoners in their loss or else it must be out of jealousy we should Eclipse the fame of their valours with the splendor of our constancy and if it be Love let us never give the preheminence for then we should lose that Prerogative that belongs to the Crown of our Sex