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A32872 Choyce drollery, songs & sonnets being a collection of divers excellent pieces of poetry, of severall eminent authors, never before printed. R. P. 1656 (1656) Wing C3916; ESTC R18525 27,829 106

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there are Sconces made of Horn Foresee things long ere they be born Which you 'l perhaps think strange 21. The Major and Aldermen being met And at a Custard closely set Each in their rank and order The Major a question doth propound And that unanswer'd must go round Till it comes to th'Recorder 22. For he 's the City's Oracle And which you 'l think a Miracle He hath their brains in keeping For when a Cause should be decreed He cries the bench are all agreed When most of them are sleeping 23. A Sheriff at lower end o' th' board Cries Masters all hear me a word A bolt I le onely shoot We shall have Executions store Against some gallants now gone o're Wherefore good brethren look to 't 24. The rascall Sergeants fleering stand Wishing their Charter reacht the Strand That they might there intrude But since they are not yet content I wish that it to Tyburn went So they might there conclude 25. An Alderman both grave and wise Cries brethren all let me advise Whilst wit is to be had That like good husbands we provide Some speeches for the Lady bride Before all men go mad 26. For by my faith if we may guesse Of greater mischiefs by the lesse I pray let this suffice If we but on mens backs do look And look into each tradesmans book You 'l swear few men are wise 27. Some thred-bare Poet we will presse And for that day we will him dresse At least in beaten Sattin And he shall tell her from this bench That though we understand no French At Pauls she may hear Lattin 28. But on this point they all demurre And each takes counsell of his furre That smells of Fox and Cony At last a Mayor in high disdain Swears he much scorns that in his reign Wit should be bought for mony 29. For by this Sack I mean to drink I would not have my Soveraign think for twenty thousand Crownes That I his Lord Lieutenant here And you my brethren should appear Such errant witlesse Clownes 30. No no I have it in my head Devises that shall strike it dead And make proud Paris say That little London hath a Mayor Can entertain their Lady faire As well as ere did they 31 S. Georges Church shall be the place Where first I mean to meet her grace And there St. George shall be Mounted upon a dapple gray And gaping wide shall seem to say Welcome St. Dennis to me 32. From thence in order two by two As we to Pauls are us'd to goe To th' Bridge we will convey her And there upon the top o' th' gate Where now stands many a Rascal's pate I mean to place a player 33. And to the Princesse he shall cry May 't please your Grace cast up your eye And see these heads of Traytors Thus will the city serve all those That to your Highnesse shall prove foes For they to Knaves are haters 34. Down Fishstreet hill a Whale shall shoot And meet her at the Bridges foot And forth of his mouth so wide a Shall Jonas peep and say for fish As good as your sweet-heart can wish You shall have hence each Friday 35. At Grace-church corner there shall stand A troop of Graces hand in hand And they to her shall say Your Grace of France is welcome hither T is merry when Graces meet together I pray keep on your way 36. At the Exchange shall placed be In ugly shapes those sisters three That give to each their fate And Spaine's Infanta shall stand by Wringing their hands and thus shall cry I do repent too late 37. There we a paire of gloves will give And pray her Highnesse long may live On her white hands to wear them And though they have a Spanish scent The givers have no ill intent Wherefore she need not feare them 38. Nor shall the Conduits now run Claret Perhaps the Frenchman cares not for it They have at home so much No I will make the boy to pisse No worse then purest Hypocris Her Grace ne're tasted such 39. About the Standard I think fit Your wives my brethren all should sit And eke our Lady Mayris Who shall present a cup of gold And say if we might be so bold We 'l drink to all in Paris 40. In Pauls Church-yard we breath may take For they such huge long speeches make Would tire any horse But there I le put her grace in minde To cast her Princely head behind And view S. Paul's Crosse 41. Our Sergeants they shall go their way And for us at the Devil stay I mean at Temple-barre And there of her we leave will take And say 't was for King Charls his sake We went with her so farre 42. But fearing I have tir'd the eares Both of the Duke and all these Peeres I le be no more uncivill I le leave the Mayor with both the Sheriffs With Sergeants hanging at their sleeves For this time at the Devill A SONG A Story strange I will you tell But not so strange as true Of a woman that danc'd upon the ropes And so did her husband too With a dildo dildo dildo With a dildo dildo d ee Some say 't was a man but it was a woman As plain report may see She first climb'd up the Ladder For to deceive mens hopes And with a long thing in her hand She tickled it on the ropes With a dildo dildo dildo With a dildo dildo d ee And to her came Knights and Gentlemen Of low and high degree She jerk'd them backward and foreward With a long thing in her hand And all the people that were in the yard She made them for to stand With a dildo c. They cast up sleering eyes All under-neath her cloaths But they could see no thing For she wore linnen hose With a dildo c. The Cuckold her husband caper'd When his head in the sack was in But grant that we may never fall When we dance in the sack of sin With a dildo c. And as they ever danc't In faire or rainy weather I wish they may be hang'd i' th' rope of Love And so be cut down together With a dildo c. Vpon a House of Office over a River set on fire by a Coale of TOBACCO OH fire fire fire where The usefull house or'e Water cleare The most convenient in a shire Which no body can deny The house of Office that old true blue Sir-reverence so many knew You now may see turn'd fine new Which no body c. And to our great astonishment Though burnt yet stands to represent Both mourner and the monument Which no body c. Ben Johnson's Vulcan would doe well Or the merry Blades who knacks did tell At firing London Bridge befell Which no body c. They 'l say if I of thee should chant The matter smells now out upon 't But they shall have a fit of fie on 't Which no body c. And why not say a word or
Like Horses manes whom haggs affright Her Bosome through her vaile of Lawne Shews more like Pork her Neck like Brawn Yet for all this I do not care Though she be foul her money 's faire 4. Her teeth to boast the Barbers fame Hang all up in his wooden frame Her lips are hairy like the skin Upon her browes as lank as thin Yet for all this I do not care Though she be foul her money 's faire 5. Those that her company do keep Are rough hoarse coughs to break my sleep The Palsie Gout and Plurisie And I●iue in her legge and thigh Yet me it grieves not who am sure That Gold can all diseases cure 6. Then young men do not jeere my lot That beauty left and money got For I have all things having Gold And beauty too since beautie 's sold For Gold by day shall please my sight When all her faults lye hid at night The basenesse of Whores TRust no more a wanton Whore If thou lov'st health and freedom They are so base in every place It 's pity that bread should feed ' um All their fence is impudence Which some call good conditions Stink they do above ground too Of Chirurgions and Physitians If you are nice they have their spice On which they 'le chew to flout you And if you not discern the plot You have no Nose about you Furthermore they have in store For which I deadly hate 'um Persumed geare to stuffe each eare And for their cheeks Pomatum Liquorish Sluts they feast their guts At Chuffs cost like Princes Amber Plumes and Mackarumes And costly candy'd Quinces Potato plump supports the Rump Eringo strengthens nature Viper Wine so heats the chine They 'le gender with a Satyr Names they own were never known Throughout their generation Noblemen are kind to them At least by approbation Many dote on one gay Coat But mark what there is stampt on 't A stone Horse wild with toole defil'd Two Goats a Lyon rampant Truth to say Paint and Array Makes them so highly prized Yet not one well of ten can tell If ever they were baptized And if not then t is a blot Past cure of Spunge or Laver And we may sans question say The Divel was their God-father Now to leave them he receive them Whom they most confide in Whom that is aske Tib or Sis Or any whom next you ride in If in sooth she speaks the truth She sayes excuse I pray you The beast you ride where I confide Will in due time convey you A Lover disclosing his love to his Mistris LEt not sweet St. let not these eyes offend you Nor yet the message that these lines impart The message my unfeined love doth send you Love that your self hath planted in my heart For being charm'd by the bewitching art Of those inveigling graces that attend you Love's holy fire kindled hath in part These never-dying flames my breast doth send you Now if my lines offend let love be blam'd And if my love displease accuse my eyes And if mine eyes sin their sins cause only lyes On your bright eyes that hath my heart inflam'd Since eyes love lines erre then by your direction Excuse my eyes my lines and my affection The contented Prisoner his praise of Sack HOw happy 's that Prisoner That conquers his fates With silence and ne're On bad fortune complaines But carelessely playes With his Keyes on the Grates And makes a sweet consort With them and his chayns He drowns care with Sack When his thoughts are opprest And makes his heart float Like a Cork in his Breast The Chorus Then Since we are all slaves That Ilanders be And our Land 's a large prison Inclos'd with the Sea Wee 'l drink up the Ocean To set our selves free For man is the World's Epitome Let Pirates weare Purple Deep dy'd in the blood Of those they have slain The Scepter to sway If our conscience be cleere And our title be good With the rags we have on us We are richer then they We drink down at night What we beg or can borrow And sleep without plotting For more the next morrow Since we c. Let the Usurer watch Ore his bags and his house To keep that from Robbers He hath rackt from his debtors Each midnight cries Theeves At the noyse of a mouse Then see that his Trunks Be fast bound in their Fetters When once he 's grown rich enough For a State plot Buff in an hower plunders What threescore years got Since we c. Come Drawer fill each man A peck of Canary This Brimmer shall bid All our senses good-night When old Aristotle Was frolick and merry By the juice of the Grape He turn'd Stsgarite Copernicus once In a drunken fit found By the coruse of his brains That the world turn'd round Since we c. 'T is Sack makes our faces Like Comets to shine And gives beauty beyond The Complexion mask Diogenes fell so In love with this Wine That when 't was all out He dwelt in the Cask He liv'd by the sent Of this Wainscoated Room And dying desir'd The Tub for his Tombe Since we c. Of DESIRE FIre Fire O how I burn in my desire For all the teares that I can strain Out of my empty love-sick brain Cannot asswage my scorching pain Come Humber Trent and silver Thames The dread Ocean haste with all thy streames And if thou can'st not quench my fire Then drown both me and my Desire Fire Fire Oh there 's no hell to my desire See how the Rivers backward lye The Ocean doth his tide deny For feare my flames should drink them drye Come heav'nly showers come pouring down You all that once the world did drown You then sav'd some and now save all Which else would burn and with me fall Vpon kinde and true Love 'T Is not how witty nor how free Nor yet how beautifull she be But how much kinde and true to me Freedome and Wit none can confine And Beauty like the Sun doth shine But kinde and true are onely mine Let others with attention sit To listen and admire her wit That is a rock where I le not split Let others dote upon her eyes And burn their hearts for sacrifice Beauty 's a calm where danger lyes But Kinde and True have been long try'd And harbour where we may confide And safely there at anchor ride From change of winds there we are free And need not fear Storme 's tyrannie Nor Pirat though a Prince he be Vpon his Constant Mistresse SHe 's not the fairest of her name But yet she conquers more than all the race For she hath other motives to inflame Besides a lovely face There 's Wit and Constancy And Charms that strikes the soule more than the Eye 'T is no easie lover knowes how to discover Such Divinity And yet she is an easie book Written in plain language for the meaner wit A stately garb and a gracious look With all things justly fit But age will undermine This glorious out-side that appeares so fine When the common Lover Shrinks and gives her over Then she 's onely mine To the Platonick that applies His clear addresses onely to the mind The body but a Temple signifies Wherein the Saints inshrin'd To him it is all one Whether the walls be marble or rough stone Nay in holy places which old time defaces More devotion 's shown The Ghost-Song 'T Is late and cold stir up the fire Sit close and draw the table nigher Be merry and drink wine that 's old A hearty medicine ' gainst the cold Your bed of wanton down the best Where you may tumble to your rest I could well wish you wenches too But I am dead and cannot do Call for the best the house will ring Sack White and Claret let them bring And drink apace whilst breath you have You 'l finde but cold drinking in the grave Partridge Plover for your dinner And a Capon for the sinner You shall finde ready when you are up And your horse shall have his sup Welcome welcome shall flie round And I shall smile though under ground You that delight in Trulls and Minions Come buy my four ropes of St. Omers Onions FINIS