with a deniall of lawfull contentments have I not thereupon tasked my selfe with the harder duties of obedience and doe I not now resolve and carefully indeavour to walke conscionably in all the wayes of God Maligne therefore how thou wilt my repentance stands firme against all thy detractions and is not more impugned by thee on earth then it is accepted in heaven III. TEMPTATION Thou hast small reason to bear thy self upon thy repentance it is too slight seconded with too many relapses too late to yeild any true comfort to thy soule Repelled NOr thus can I be discouraged by thee malicious spirit The mercy of my God hath not â—et any stint to the allowed measure of repentance Where hath he ever said Thus farre shall thy penitence come else it shall not be accepted It is truth that he calls for not measure That happy thief whom my dying Saviour rescued out of thy hands gave no other proofe of his repentance but We are justly here and receive due reward of our deeds yet was admitted to attend his Redeemer from his Crosse to his Paradise Neither do we heare any words from penitent David after his foule crimes but I have sinned Not that any true penitent can be afraid of too much compunction of heart and is ready to dry up his teares too soone rather pleasing himselfe with the continuance and paine of his own smart but that our indulgent father who takes no pleasure in our misery is apt to wipe away the teares from our eyes contenting himself only w th the syncernesse not the extremity of our contrition Thy malice is altogether for extreams either a wild security or an utter desperation that holy and mercifull Spirit who is a professed lover of mankind is ever for the meane so hating our carelesnesse that he will not suffer us to want the exercises of a due humiliation so abhorring despaire that he abides not to have us driven to the brinke of that fearfull precipice As for my repentance therefore it is enough for me that it is sound and serious for the substance yet withall thanks be to that good Spirit that wrought it it is graciously approveable even for the measure I have heartily mourned for my sinnes though I pined not away with sorrow I have broken my sleep for them though I have not watered my couch with my teares and next to thy selfe I have hated them most I have beaten my brest though I have not rent my heart and what would I not have done or given that I had not sinned Tell not me that some worldly crosses have gone nearer to my heart then my sins and that I have spent more teares upon the losse of a sonne then the displeasure of my heavenly father The father of mercies will not measure our repentance by these crooked lines of thine he knows the flesh and bloud we are made of and therefore expects not we should have so quick a sense of our spirituall as of our bodily affliction it contents him that we set a valuation of his favour above all earthly things and esteeme his offence the greatest of all evils that can befall us and of this judgement and affection it is not in thy power to bereave my soule As for my relapses I confesse them with sorrow and shame I know their danger and had I not to do with an infinite mercy their deadlinesse Yet after all my confusion of face and thine enforcement of justice my soul is safe for upon those perilous recidivations my hearty repentance hath made my peace The long-suffering God whom I have offended hath set no limits to his remission After ten miraculous signes in Egypt his Israel tempted him no lesse then ten times in the wildernesse yet his mercy forbore them not rewarding their reiterated sin with deserved vengeance Hath not that gracious Saviour of mankind charged us to forgive our offending brother no lesse then seventy times seven times and what proportion is there between our mercy and his Could'st thou charge mee with incouraging my selfe to continue my sin upon this presumption of pardon thou hadst cause to boast of the advantage but now that my remorse hath been syncere and my falls weak my God will not with-hold mercy from his penitent that hath not only confessed but forsaken his sin As for the late season of my repentance I confesse I have highly wronged and hazarded my soule in the delay of so often required and so often purposed a worke and given thee faire advantages against my selfe by so dangerous a neglect but blessed be my God that he suffer'd not these advantages to be taken I had been utterly lost if thou hadst surprized me in my impenitence but now I can look back upon my perill well passed and defie thy malice No time can be prejudiciall to the king of heaven no season can be any barre either to our conversion or his mercifull acceptance It is true that latenesse gives shrewd suspitions of the truth of repentance but where our repentance is true it cannot come too late Object this to some formall soules that having lavisht out the whole course of their lives in wilfull sensuality profanenesse thinke to make an abundant amends for all on their death-beds with a fashionable Lord have mercy These whom thou hast mockt and drawn on with a stupid security all their days may well be upbraided by thee with the irrecoverable delay of what they have not grace to seek but that soule which is truly touched with the sense of his sin and in an humble contrition makes his addresse to God and interposes Christ betwixt God and it selfe is in vain scarred with delay and finds that his God makes no difference of houres Do I not see the Prodigall in the Gospel after he had run himselfe quite out of breath means yet at the last cast returning and accepted I do not hear his father austerely say Nay unthrift hadst thou come whiles thou hadst some bags left I should have welcomed thy returne as an argument of some grace and love but now that thou hast spent all and necessity not affection drives thee home keep off and starve but the good old man runs and meets him and falls on his neck and kisses him and calls for the best robe and the fatted calfe Thus thus deals our heavenly Father with us wretched sinners if after all refuges vainly sought and all gracious opportunities carelesly neglected we shall yet have sincere recourse to his infinite mercy the best things in heaven shall not be too good for us IV. TEMPTATION Tush What doest thou please thy selfe with these vaine thoughts if God cared for thee couldst thou be thus miserable Repelled AWay thou lying Spirit I am afflicted but it is not in thy power to make me miserable And did I yet smart much more wouldst thou perswade me to measure the favour of my God by these outward events Hath not the
Spirit of Truth taught me that in these externall matters All things come alike to all there is one event to the righteous and to the wicked to the good and cleane and to the uncleane to him that sacrificeth and to him that sacrificeth not as is the good so is the sinner he that sweareth as he that feareth an Oath But if there were any judgement to be passed upon these grounds the advantage is mine I smart yea I bleed under the hand of my heavenly father Whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth Lo there cannot e so much paine in the stripes as there is comfort in the love of him that layes them on He were not my father if he whip't me not Truth hath said it If ye be without chastisements ye are bastards and not sonnes He cannot but love me whiles he is my father and let him fetch bloud on me so he love me After all thy malice let me be a bleeding son to such a father whiles thy base-borne children enjoy their ease Impudent tempter how canst thou from my sufferings argue Gods disfavour when thou knowest that he whom God loved best suffered most The eternall Sonne of his love that could truly say I and the Father are one indured more from the hand of that his heavenly Father then all the whole world of mankind was capable to suffer Surely he hath borne our griefs and carried our sorrows He was wounded for oue transgressions he was bruised for our iniquities the chastisements of our peace were upon him the Lord hath laid on him the iniquities of us all What poore flea bitings are these that I am afflicted with in respect of those torments which the Sonne of God under went for me Thou that sawest the bloudy sweat of his agony the cruell tortures of his crucifixion the pangs of worse then death the sense of his Fathers wrath our curse dost thou move me whom he hath bought with so dear a price to murmur and recoyle upon divine providence for a petty affliction Besides this is the load which my blessed Saviour hath with his owne hands laid upon my shoulders If any man will come after me let him deny himselfe and take up his crosse daily and follow me Lo every Crosse is not Christs each man hath a crosse of his owne and this crosse he may not think to tread upon but he must take up and not once perhaps in his life but daily and with that weight on his neck he must follow the Lord of life not to his Tabor only but to his Golgotha And thus following him on earth he shall surely overtake him in heaven for if we suffer with him we shall also reigne with him It is still thy policy O thou envious Spirit to fill mine eyes with the crosse and to represent nothing to my thoughts but the horror and paine of suffering that so thou may'st drive me to a languishing dejectednesse of spirit and despaire of mercy But my God hath raised and directed mine eyes to a better prospect quite beyond thine which is a crowne of glory I see that ready to be set upon my head after my strife and victory which were more then enough to make amends for an hell upon earth In vaine should I hope to obtaine it without a conflict how should I overcome if I strive not These struglings are the way to a conquest After all these assaults the foyle shall bee thine and mine shall be the glory and triumph The God of Truth hath said it Be faithfull to the death and I will give thee a crown of life Thine advantage lies in the way mine in the end the way of affliction is rugged deep stiffe dangerous the end is faire and greene and strewed with flowers No chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous but grievous neverthelesse afterwards it yeeldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousnesse unto them which are exercised thereby What if I be in paine here for a while The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us It is thy maliciousnesse that would make the affliction of my body the bane of my soule but if the fault be not mine that which thou intendest for a poyson shall prove a cordiall Let patience have her perfect work and I am happy in my sufferings For our light affliction which is but for a moment worketh for us a farre more exceeding and eternall weight of glory Lo it doth not only admir of glory but works it for us so as we are infinitely more beholden to our paine then to our ease and have reason not onely to be well apayd but to rejoyce in tribulations knowing That Tribulation worketh patience and patience experience experience hope and hope maketh not ashamed Tell mee if thou canst which of those Saints that are now shining bright in their heaven hath got thither un-afflicted How many of those blessed ones have indured more then my God wil allow thee to inflict upon my weaknesse Some more and some lesse sorrowes all some yea many so true is that word of the chosen vessell That through much tribulation we must enter into the kingdome of God By this then I see that I am in my right way to that blessednesse I am travelling towards Did I find my self in the smooth pleasant and flowry path of carnall ease and contentment I should have just reason to think my selfe quite out of that happy road Now I know I am going directly towards my home the abiding City which is above So far therefore are my sufferings from arguing me miserable that I could not be happy if I suffered not V. TEMPTATION Foolish man how vainly dost thou flatter thy selfe in calling that a chastisement which God intends for a judgment in mistaking that for a rod of fatherly correction which God laies on as a scourge of just anger and punishment Repelled IT is thy maliciousnesse O thou wicked spirit ever to mis-interpret Gods actions and to sclander the footsteps of the Almighty But notwithstanding all thy mischievous suggestions I can read mercy and favour in my affliction neither shall it be in the power of thy temptation to put me out of this just construction of my sufferings For what Is it the measure of my smart that should argue Gods displeasure How many of Gods dearlings on earth have indured more What say'st thou to the man with whom the Almighty did once challenge and foyle thee the great patterne of patience was not his calamity as much beyond mine as my graces are short of his Dost thou not heare the man after Gods owne heart say Lord remember David and all his troubles Dost thou not hear the chosen vessell who was rapt up into the third heaven complaine We are troubled on every side yet not distressed perplexed but not
safe for this though more uncomfortable wait thou upon Gods leisure with all humble submission the event shall be happy when the distemper is once over thou shalt returne to thy true relish of Gods mercy when thine heavenly father shall smile upon thee and take thee up in his armes thou wilt see love in his late stripes when those dead ashes shall be removed and the gleeds of grace stirred up againe in thee thou shalt yeild both light and warmth when the Sun of righteousnesse shall approch to thee and with his comfortable beams draw up the sap into the branches thou shalt blossome and flourish In the meane time feare nothing only believe and thou shalt see the salvation of the Lord Thy soule is in surer hands then thine owne yea then of the greatest Angel in heaven far out of the reach of all the powers of hell For our life is hid with Christ in God Hid not lost not laid open to all eyes but hid hid where Satan cannot touch it cannot find it even with Christ in the heaven of heavens Feare not therefore O thou feeble soule any utter dereliction of thy God Thou art bought with a price God paid too deare for thee and is too deeply ingaged to thee to lose thee willingly and for any force to be offered to the Almighty what can men or Devils do And if that malignant spirit shall challenge any forfeiture plead thou thy full redemption It is true the eternall and inviolable law hath said Cursed is every one that continueth not in all things that are written in the book of the Law to do them and the soule that sinneth shall die Death and curse is therefore due to thee But thou hast paid both of these in thy blessed redeemer Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the Law being made a curse for us Where sin abounded grace did much more abound that as sin hath reigned unto death even so might grace raigne through righteousnesse unto eternall life by Iesus Christ our Lord It is all one to pay thy debt in thine owne person and by thy surety Thy gracious suerty hath staked it down for thee to the utmost farthing Be confident therefore of thy safe condition thou art no lesse sure then thine adversary is malicious X. TEMPTATION Had God ever given thee any sure testimonies of his love thou might'st perhaps pretend to some reason of comfort and confidence But the truth is God never loved thee he may have cast upon thee some common favours such as he throwes away upon reprobates but for the tokens of any speciall love that he bears to thee thou never didst never shalt receive any from him Repelled THis is language well-befitting the professed make-bate betwixt God and man but know O thou false tempter that I have received sure and infallible testimonies of that speciall love which is proper to his elect First then as I have to do with a bountiful God who where he loves there he inriches so I have received most precious gifts from his hands such as do not import a common and ordinary beneficence w ch he scatters promiscuously amongst the sons of men but such as carry in them a dearnesse and singularity of divine favour even the greatest gifts that either he can give or man receive For first he hath given me his spirit the spirit of Adoption whereby I can call him Father for the assurance whereof The Spirit it selfe beareth witnesse with our spirit that we are the children of God Deny if thou canst the invaluablenesse of this heavenly gift and if thy malice cannot detract from the worth but from the propriety yeelding it to be great but denying it to be mine know O thou envious spirit that here is the witnesse of two spirits combined against thine Were the testimonies single surely I had reason to believe my owne spirit rather then thine which is a spirit of errour but now that the spirit of God conjoines his inerrable testimony together with my spirit against thy single suggestion how just cause have I to be confident of my possession of that glorious and blessed gift Neither is that good spirit dead or dumb but vocall and operative it gives mee a tongue to call God Father it teacheth me to pray it helpeth mine infirmities and maketh intercession for me with groanings which cannot be uttered It worketh effectually in me a sensible conversion Even when I was dead in sins and trespasses God who is rich in mercy for his great love wherewith he loved me hath by this spirit of his quickned me together with Christ and hath raised me up together with him By the blessed effects therefore of this regenerating Spirit happily begun in my soule I find how rich a treasure the Father of mercies hath conveighed into my bosome Besides my life shows what is in my heart it was a gracious word that God spake to his people of old and holds for ever I will put my spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes I will also save you from all your uncleannesses The spirit of God can never be severed from obedience If the heart be taken up with the holy Spirit the feet must walke in Gods statutes both heart and life must be freed from all wilfull uncleannesses I feel that God hath wrought all this in me from him it is that I do sincerely desire indevour to make straight steps in all the ways of God and to avoid and abhor all those foule corruptions of my sinfull nature Flesh and bloud hath not would not could not work this in me The Spirit therefore of him who raised up Jesus from the dead dwels in me And if this be not a pledge of his dearest love heaven cannot yeeld one Moreover he hath bestowed upon mee another gift more worth then all the world his own son the son of his love the son of his nature by eternall generation Whom he hath not only given for me in a generality with the rest of mankind but hath by a speciall donation conveighed unto me and as it were put into my bosome in that he hath enabled me by a lively faith to bring him home unto my soule and hath thus by a particular application made him mine so as my soule is not more mine then he is my soules And having given me his son he hath with him given me all things If there can be greater tokens of love then these let me want them Besides his gifts his carriage doth abundantly argue his love were there a strangenesse betweene God and my soule I might well feare there were no other then overly respects from him towards me but now when I find he doth so freely and familiarly converse with his servant and so graciously imparts himself to me renuing the daily testimonies of his holy presence in the frequent motions of his good
from the justice of our God unto his mercy What can we feare when his very justice yeilds remission That justice relates to his gracious promise of pardon to the penitent whiles I do truly repent therefore his very justice necessarily infers mercy and that mercy forgivenesse Think not therefore O thou malicious spirit to affright me with the mention of Divine Justice Wo were me if God were not as just as mercifull yea if he were not therefore mercifull because he is just mercifull in giving me repentance just in vouchsafing me the promised mercy and forgivenesse upon the repentance which he hath given me After all thy hainous exaggerations of my guilt it is not the quality of the sin but the disposition of the sinner that damns the soule If we compare the offensive acts of a David and a Saul it is not easie to judge whether were more foul thou which stirred'st them up both to those odious sinnes madest account of an equall advantage against both but thine ayme failed thee the humble and true penitence of the one saved him out of thy hands the obdurednesse and false-heartednesse of the other gave him up as a prey to thy malice It is enough for me that though I had not the grace to avoid my sinnes yet I have the grace to hate and bewaile them that good spirit which thought not good to restraine me from sinning hath beene graciously pleased to humble me for sinning Yea such is the infinite goodnesse of my God to my poor soule that those sins which thou hast drawn me into with an intent of my utmost prejudice and damnation are happily turned through his grace unto my greatest advantage for had it not been for these my sinfull miscarriages had I ever attained to so cleare a sight of my owne frailty and wretchednesse so deep a contrition of soule so reall experience of temptation so hearty a detestation of sin such tendernesse of heart such awe of offending so fervent zeale of obedience so sweet a sense of mercy so thankfull a recognition of deliverance What hast thou now gained O thou wicked spirit by thy prevalent temptations What Trophees hast thou cause to erect for thy victory and my soyle Couldst thou have won me to a trade of sinning to a resolution in evill to a pleasure as in the commission so in the memory of my sin to a glorying in wickednesse then mightst have taken the advantage of snatching mee away in a state of unrepentance thou mightst have had just cause to triumph in thy prey but now that it hath pleased my God to shew me so much mercy as to check me in my evill way to work in me an abhorring of my sin and of my selfe for it and to pull me out of thy clutches by a true and seasonable repentance thou hast lost a soule and I have found a Saviour Thou maist upbraid me with the foulnesse of my sins I shall blesse God for their improvement II. TEMPTATION Alas poore man how willing thou art to make thy selfe believe that thou hast truly repented whereas this is nothing but some dump of Melancholy or some relenting of nature after too much expence of spirits or some irksome discontentment after a satiety and wearinesse of pleasure or some slavish shrinking in upon the expectation of a lash true penitence is a spirituall business an effect of that grace which was never incident into thy bosome Repelled MAlicious tempter it is my no small happinesse that thou art not admitted to keep the key of my heart or to look into my brest to see what is in my bosome and therefore thou canst not out of knowledge passe any censure of my inward dispositions onely wilt be sure to suggest the worst which the falser it is the better doth it become the father of lies But that good spirit which hath wrought true repentance in my heart witnesseth together with my heart the truth of my repentance Canst thou hope to perswade me that I do belie or mis-know my own grief Do not I feele this heart of mine bleed with a true inward remorse for my sinnes Have I not poured out many hearty sighs and tears for mine offences Do I not ever looke backe upon them with a vehement loathing and detestation Have I not with much anguish of soule confessed them before the face of that God whom I have provoked Think not now to choak me with a Cain or Saul or Judas which did more and repented not to fasten upon me a worldly sorrow that worketh Death No wicked one after all thy depravations this grief of mine looks with a farre other face then theirs and is no other then a Godly sorrow working repentance to salvation not to be repented of theirs was out of the horror of punishment mine out of the sense of displeasure their 's for the doom and execution of a severe Judge mine for the frownes of an offended father theirs attended with a wofull despaire mine with a weeping confidence their 's a preface to Hell mine an introduction to salvation And since thou wilt needs disparage and mis-call this godly disposition of mine Lo I challenge this envie of thine to call it to the Test and to examine it thoroughly whether it agree not with those unfayling rules of the sympcomes and effects of the sorrow which is according to God Hath not here been a true carefulnesse as to be freed and acquitted from the present guilt of my sin so to keep my soul unspotted for the future both to work my peace with my God and to 〈◊〉 it Hath not my heard earnestly laboured to cleare it selfe before God not with shuffling excuses and flattering mitigations but by humble and syncere confessions of my owne vilenesse Hath not my brest swell'd up with an angry indignation at my sinfull mis-carriages have I not seriously rated my selfe for giving way to thy wicked temptations Have I not trembled not only at the apprehension of my owne danger by sin but at the very suggestion of the like offence have I not been kept in awe with the jealous feares of my miserable frailties lest I should be againe ensnared in thy mischievous ginnes Have I not felt in my selfe a servent desire above all things to stand right in the recovered favour of my God and to be strengthned in the inner man with a further increase of grace for the preventing of future sins and giving more glory to my God and Saviour Hath not my heart within me burn'd with so much more zeale to the honour and service of that Majesty which I have offended as I have more dishonoured him by my offence hath it not been inflamed with just displeasure at my selfe and all the instruments means of my mis-leading Lastly have I not falne foule upon my selfe for so easie a seduction have I not chastised my self with sharp reproofs have I not held my appetite short and upon these very grounds punished it