non te beneuolentior Illi fuit If you were sure that hee should haue enioy'd The life rest from him free and vn-annoy'd Then you might thinke his death t' haue hapt too rathe But what if now much Ruth were to ensue And troublous stormes which Death preuented hath Was 't not in that more kinde to him then You If yee lou'd mee saith our Lord to his Disciples ye would verily reioyce because I goe to the Father out of this troublesome and euill world So if we lou'd our Children and Friends departed it would bee a more regular course to expresse it in gratulating their escape by Death from so manifold hazards and euils of life and their estating thereby into so ample beatitude and happinesse then in giuing scope to those effeminate plaints and distaffe lamentations That which easeth vs of all burdens and cares Is the end and death of our miseries The euerlasting farwell to all smart and woes Preuents our seeing suffring and doing of much euill Cuts the Cords whereby wee are hampered in the world and hindred to goe to God Is the accomplishment of our sanctification our Porter to Glory rendring vs into the Armes and Embrace of our Bridgroome Christ Iesus neuer more to be separated or disioyned from him doth it present vs cause of pensiuenesse and mourning or of Iubile and reioycing rather Is the tired Bondman sorry for the approach of night that he may giue ouer and goe to rest Is the brute Oxe grieued to be vnyoked was euer Mariner ill apaid that after long and doubtfull tossing in a dreadfull high-going Sea hee had recouered the safe quiet Hauen Or banished man that hee was call'd home to his Country and Kinred Or Prisoner that hee was brought out of a Dungeon into the liberty and pleasures of a Palace And will you still weare a Cloudy brow and wither away in your Mournings for him that is a sharer in all these Priuileges and Blessings CONSIDERATION 11. ELeuenthly You remember the saying Schola crucis Schola lucis The Schoole of Tribulation is the Schoole of Edification The Graecian Prouerb is like it 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Those things that trouble vs teach vs. You may perhaps learne more out of this Affliction then prosperity euer could teach you in all your life This may make you looke into your Conscience examine the state of your soule weepe your owne Deseruings and iustifie God in all his Doings and in this Particular though the waight were doubled trebled vpon you Pray that these effects may be wrought in you These will proue salubres cogitationes lacrymae beatae verni imbres holsome Meditations Teares of Grace Aprill showres which will cause the flowres of Consolation to spring vp in your heart When I lost the better halfe of my selfe the Best of Wiues such a One as euen by wishing could hardly haue beene exceeded the Country that bred her being left poore of such another Pectore concepi nil nisi triste meo You can iudge for your hand dropt the first Balsome into my wound whether there were not cause for my Brest to bee full fraught bursting-ripe with Anguish and Dolour And how long had the wound beene kept rawe if I had wilfully insisted here and sate onely plodding and showring Teares vpon my Losse But when at length almost too late I turn'd away from Nature and humane Reason ill aduising Friends in this Time and Occasion to Religion and considered this Crosse as the Rod of God for my many many sinnes That it was not a beating vpon the Coates but laid on in good earnest with a prouoked angry hand That he was constrained to runne this rugged Race with me Though my Griefe were not lessened by this consideration yet it began to be turned into a righter Channell Recenti Malo priorum quoque admonemur The fresh Euill which I suffred laid fresh before mee former Euils I had done And where before I grieued for the suffring now my griefe was to haue deserued so to suffer Here was sorrow changed into sorrow worldly sorrow for a Precious but Temporall Losse into godly Sorrow to Repentance neuer to bee repented off Dolor ipse iam voluptas erat Plin. There was now a kinde of pleasure in these brinish drops Now began Nature to bee content to wipe her Eyes and Reason that suggested the value of such a Iewell to lay her hand vpon her Mouth and the golden Morne of Comfort to dawne to me Now I found it true That God will not alway be chiding nor keepeth his anger for euer That his correcting is not to destruction but to saue vs from being destroyed and condemned with the World Cypr. Hee chastens vs to amend vs and amends vs to saue vs. When we stoope he is appeased Discipline goes before but pardon followes after Now I willingly kist the Rod that beat me neerer to Heauen and God and blest the Occasion that led mee from sorrow to sorrow that I might arriue at true and sound Ioy. O how good was it for me to be so afflicted Psal Iudg. Out of the Eater came meate and out of the Strong came sweetnesse According to the measure of our sorrow so is his Consolation Finally now I saw how grossely passion had made my thoughts ouershoote before not onely in wronging her happy soule by so often wishing her againe in these Elements of sorrow who walkes arme in arme with Angels but euen in charging God foolishly pardon me O blessed Fountaine of long suffring and Goodnes as ouer-cruell and rigorous to his Creature rauishing our Comforts from vs then when wee had cause to hold them closest to our bosome delighting sporting in our vn-resistable miseries and ill-turnes who indeed of very faithfulnesse had caused me to be troubled O what a Foole a Franticke a wild prodigious thing is Man thus transported till God vouchsafe his finger to temper and tune him right againe This End the Lord in his mercy made for Mee This was the Method of my Cure the Crop and Haruest of my sowing in Teares And my Wish Hope is that by his Blessing Yours may be like CONSIDERATION 12. TWelfthly And now Sir summ vp these parcels see if the foot of the Account declare you not a Gayner You haue lost a Son whom all that knew lou'd liuing and commend dead One you had bred vp for Heauen and haue now return'd him to the true Owner the Father of Spirits Is he not well there doe you thinke hee would bee better here would you haue him change his glorious Eternall Mansion for a ragged reeling mudwalld Houell Did you not ayme at his being a Citizen there instructing preparing fitting him for it Could you wish a righter Season to be taken thither then when the Ages viciousnesse infections example had dropt least slubber and soyle vpon him Are you sorry hee is early there arriued his Vessell safely landed before you thought he should What though
A HANDKERCHER FOR PARENTS WET EYES VPON THE DEATH OF CHILDREN A Consolatory Letter to a Friend LONDON Printed by E. A. for Michael Sparkes dwelling at the blue Bible in Greene Arbour 1630. To the Reader that is or may be exercised with this kinde of Crosse GEntle Reader I did not thinke that euer any Lines of mine should haue lookt in at a Printing-house My Conceit is not wont to be in the Eaning Moode as knowing that with Iacobs Ewes it should bring forth but spotted and straked Lambes Yet now at the instance of a Payre of worthy Friends that had equally drunke of this Cup of Sorrow I haue yeelded to put the Presse to a short affliction and to communicate to All what was first intended for the comfort of One. I might haue sate still with the finger on the lip amidst those sage and faithfull Counsellors and Companions Good Bookes or haue sung to my selfe and the Muses onely or to a well-knowne Friend or Two with whom euery Thing should haue receiu'd a fauourable interpretation But for thy sake that I might not bee vncharitable I am faine to be imprudent in aduenturing to trench thus neere vpon the Worlds tuchy Censure I may hap by this meanes to bee carried shortly into the Street where they sell Frankincense and Sweet Pouders and Pepper and such Things as they vse to cloathe in weake and worthlesse Papers No matter It was not to my Pen any Herculean Labour nor to My selfe in the writing altogether ingratefull And if in the vast Petegrination of Books it may please God that but one delected heart may by any good word in It be a little lifted vp or Passion hasht and calmed or flowing Eye dryed or sorrow made happy by being transverted to a righter Obiect or any yet entirely enioying the faire Blessings of Marriage fore-armed against a future storme if God see good to send it I shall hold my selfe abundantly rewarded from Heauen in that one Booke or Page or Passage or Line though all the rest of these Leaues perish I haue onely dipt the Tip of my finger in Comfort for thee The God of all Consolation can giue thee the fulnesse of it which is His wish to Thee that wisheth Ill to None I. C. To my worthy Friend Master I. R. SIr I know you doe now feele what it is to bee a Father and therefore to barre you altogether from lamenting sorrowing in such an Accident as this The death of your beloued Sonne were as vnreasonable as to chide a Man for shewing himselfe sensible when a Tooth is drawne or a Leg or an Arme is sawd off from his body For if I should perswade you that these may bee taken from you without feeling or paine you would say I plaid the Mountebanke For mine owne part I was at the first vnlookt for word of Dead like Niobe Lapideus factus Cold at the heart and hauing recollected my selfe found I was a sharer in your losse and could not temper mine Eyes from running ouer as for a Kinsman of mine own For why should not I haue an interest nay a kind of affinity with His Sonne who vouchsafed to bee so kind a nourisher of My Daughter Had you lost him new-borne and but saluting the world Junent Sat. 7. Primes incipientem Edere vagitus adhuc à matre rubentem First squayling Cryes from Infant Throte outstrayning And from his Mother yet the Redde retayning Or a Youngling first bestriding his Hobby-horse or driuing his Top or new learning the way to Schoole the parting had not beene so bitter We doe somewhat easily shake hands with greene and slight Acquaintances But he was Solidus Adolescens A growne Man arriued halfe way to the Solslice of his Age Strong actiue well shaped well-graced faire-demeanord studious of an honest and vertuous disposition yeelding not onely the blossomes but the fruits of a good education Graue with the first appearing Downe vpon his Chinne yet without any grumnesse or sowrenesse of manners His by-studies and delights manly and generous seruing either to enable him for the seruice of his Prince Country As the exercise of Ames and Hardiment Hor. ad Lol. Epist 19. l. 1. Adde virilia quod speciosius Arma Non est qui tractet His manly Armes none beares with better grace Or by imparting their delight to others to make the Vser thereof welcome As Musicke Dancing History Faire-writing c. To his God he was religious and deuout early remembring his Creator wearing the Threshold of his House sitting attentiue at the feete of this Ministers To his Father and Mother obseruant and dutifull To his Kinred louing To his Elders reuerent To his Equals facile and sociable To All courteous and pleasing Which turnd Mens eyes and regards vpon him and made him accepted and desired both of one and other And for the maine Studie whereunto hee had addicted himselfe he was by your conduct trayning so good a proficient therein for notion and vnderstanding of the passages if not for dexterity of Acting which is acquired by Time and vse that he was in a manner fitted and prepared to haue put his shoulders vnder your burthen and by inheriting at once both your place and toyles to haue giuen your yeeres at length their deserued Vacation Iob 14. But Man that is borne of a Woman hath but a short time to liue He commeth vp like a Flower and is cropt off He is pluckt from the Stalke as an unripe Grape and shaken downe as the winde shaketh downe the Oliue blossomes I know you are not Stoicall without affections Pers Neque enum tibi cornea fibra est Your heart-strings are not so tough and horny â—onos viâ—os facile solui in Iachrymas I haue noted your eyes sometimes to stand great with teares at others woes * Chancer for pitty renneth soone in Gentle heart And therefore I blame you not to melt yea to ake and be sore of such a wound and mayme as this This is not a slea-bite or a scratch with a pinne nor a forraigne hurt a great way distant but Domestike and Concerning If David thought his sorrow iustifiable for his Sonne that was a Rebell and almost a Parricide your sorrow cannot but be iust for so towardly so deare so precious a Sonne A right Beniamin the Sonne of your Right hand the Staffe and Prop of your old Age. Aegritudinem doloremque animi moderatuÌ„ improbari non oportet One must not be shent for moderate sorrow and griefe of minde But yet you must take heed of making your Griefe vniust by exceeding a iust and regular measure in it As we must not be doloris expertes indolent and void of sorrow for that 's inhumane So neither may we be perditè dolentes immeasurable obstinate desperate grieuers for that 's vn-christian Strangulat inclusus dolor atqueâ—or aestuat intus Cogitur vires multiplicare suâ—s It must not be stopt
esse prorsus folici licet No man but finds a Pound of Woe for a Dram of Content God will not glut vs with Felicities His manner is eftsoones to vitiate the comforts hee allowes his Children with some vn-expected Dash of sorrow lest they should imagine that true sincere Content might be found on Earth I haue heard you obserue a like course held with your selfe For speaking of some proiects of yours for a retired Country life how much you affected the sweetnesse and innocency thereof and what please you could giue your selfe in it God you said did by one meanes or other still crosse and defeate your purposes foreseeing how it might steale away your heart from heauen and him and make you desire to moare here and set vp your Rest in the things of this world This vse you made of that Crosse then doe the like by this now God hath taken your Darling from You lest he should haue taken your heart from Him CONSIDERATION 8. POnder oft that saying Sapit qui non tristatur propter absentia sed gaudet praesentibus He is wise that is not so much sorry for the absent as ioyous in the present Comforts You looke to what you haue lost but not to what you haue left As God hath Crosses moe then one So Hee hath Comforts Blessings moe than one And hee hath left you a great many of them euen Childrens Children When others haue nor Son nor Daughter in their inheritance Will you because one is remoued out of your sight waywardly depriue Your selfe of enioying the Remainder as not worth thankes now one of the tale is diminisht That were leke little ChildreÌ„ if you catch vp one of their Play-games they presently cast away all the rest in a fume If in a vast succourles Champian or Downe the furious Wind should snatch off your Hat and hurry it away beyond ouertaking so much as with you Eye would you straight in a Moode strip off your other Garments to your shirt and dare the Wind to do his worst with those Parcels also O take heed of such behauiour 'T is not stouting and stomacke and pettishnesse but meekenesse and patience and humility makes God propitious What shall you get by standing and knocking your Fists at Him that must be your onely Comfort in your Anguishes or you are like to haue none at all but scorne and dirision Set not God to Schoole appoint him not what to take what to leaue He knowes best which Branch of the Vine to prune off Be thankefull for them are reserued to you and enioy them as from a thrice friendly and gracious hand Set your loue on them as on another mans Loane which you must restore vpon demaund Thinke not that to be your owne that was but lent you nor that to bee too soone required againe which without iniury might haue beene altogether kept from you CONSIDERATION 9. O But he was so hopefull so towardly so well dispos'd such a Modell of Goodnesse c. I grant you all this But how know you he would haue held on so if he had liued longer How many godly Fathers haue had their hearts broke with the lewdnesse and ill proofe of their Children Tacit. Eu'n many Good Princes came short of Neroes first 5. yeeres What Traps doe we see set daily in the way of Vertue to trip it and make it fall Occasions to many sinnes are presented and taken hold of in tract of Time which once we neuer dreamt of committing or contracting the least acquaintance with them He is gone beginning to rellish vertue vntainted of vicious inclinations his soule had not yet dipped in the dish of voluptuousnesse wickednesse had not altred his heart What hath he lost by that By being Heauenly on Earth hee is now made Glorious in Heauen Sic fuit vtilius finiri ipsique tibique So was 't most profit to exspire Both to himselfe and you his Sire Besides you will say for passion hath no hoe in obiecting To you he was so vsefull so necessary your finger next the Thumbe growne fit to aduise with to impart your Counsels to to make a Friend and Companion of c. Hinc lachrymae This smoke also makes your eyes runne ouer But let me tell you To bewayle the losse of your Child because hee was necessary to you you could ill misse him is selfe-loue not the loue of your Child And to be sad for the welfare of your Child being euaded all perils and highly promoted and dignified besides is the part of an enuious person not of a Father or Kinsman Would old Iacob or any true-hearted FrieÌ„d or acquaintance of Iosephs be drest in melancholy to heare that the King of Egypt had releast him out of prison and sent for him to Court to make him a great Lord and Vice-roy of the Kingdome If you had beene told a while agon of some extraordinary worldly preferment befalne your Sonne aboue all that you could thinke or hope for though in some farre remote place whereby your former familiar Conuerses must be cut off yet I suppose that for his good you would haue entertain'd the newes with gladnesse and laid by your owne particular respects And now that he is exalted to the very Top and heighth of honour and that in eternity now that he is enstall'd a Prince among Celestiall Princes for not any are lesse then Kings and Queenes that are admitted thither will you lowre and be in dumps as for a matter of speciall discomfort and mishap Will you bee sorry for his ioy deiected for his aduancement sicke of his happinesse Had you rather your Sonne should bee without Heauen then you without your Sonne This is a plaine degree of Madnesse Shall wee lament for them that laugh mourne for them that feast and sing hurt our health for them that are perfectly whole Now that hee is dead and buried nay now that his life is indeed truly Vitall and Liuing will you for his sake goe drowne your selfe in your owne teares Certè plus animi debet inesse viris More wisdome ought to rest in them That weare the onely name of Men. He hath no sence of your sorrowes for him nor will thanke you for hurting your selfe by the liberty you giue to the Rage of Nature CONSIDERATION 10. GOd hath by death freed him not onely from the dangers and corruptions of the Age wherein hee might haue beene swallowed but from the common euils which may fall vpon his Suruiuers greater perhaps and neerer then we imagine The Condition of the Times is so bad as punishments cannot be farre off To be set in safety before their approaches whil'st the storme is but a thickning is no small benefit Comicus â—â—t ap Plutar. Si tu sciebas illuÌ„ vitae tempus hoc Ereptum ei quod est habiturum prosperum Mors eius immatura existimanda erit Quid si molesta habuisset multa ac tristia Haec finiens mors
in your esteeme others were neerer Land then he Is it any disaduantage to a Merchant that his Ship so farre behind the rest while they lye still at Anchor is flown to shore fraught with welcome lading Paines haue chas'd his soule out of this House of Earth But is not Abrahams bosome where Angels haue lodg'd it a ioyfull Receptacle Come wash your Cheekes giue no further passage nor indulgence to your passions Vina bibe laetus vescere pane tuo Eate your bread with gladnesse You thought you were hurt and are benefited rather He is not cleane gone Praemissus non amissus but onely gone before His Mortality is ended rather then his life You haue lost him for a Time God hath found him for Euer Reioyce and blesse God that you had such a Son Had him did I say You haue him still Not one Child the fewer haue you for his taking hence When God turned the Captiuity of Iob the Text saith hee gaue him twice so much Substance of euery kind as he had before He had 7000. Sheep before now hee had 14000. Three thousand Cammels before now 6000. Fiue Hundred Yoke of Oxen before now 1000. 500. Shee-Asses before now 1000. of them also Why were not his Children doubled as his other Blessings Gregor Hauing Ten Children before why had he but Ten now Because those in Heauen were his still But oh How much changed from that themselues were or that their Brothers and Sisters are in their Fathers House Iobs Children on Earth though the prime Women of the Land for Beauty would appeare but Ethiopians compared with the radiant glistering faces of Them in Glory Their Festiuall Apparell here though as rich as Salomons Royallest Mantles would seeme no better then Cannas or Haire-cloth being set in match with the Robes of Glory and immortality bright as the light it selfe of those Heauen-dwellers And as great Ods is there betweene your Immortall Son and his Mortall Brethren and Sisters You may when you will haue him present with you in your minde and thought You may see him as he was A yong Plant in your house You may see him as he is A blessed Soule in Gods heauenly Palace Liue you mindfull of your owne Mortality and Eternall life and let your heart leape vp into ioy that he hath already hit the White whereat others are but leuelling And weares the Garland for which others are doubtfully wrastling and contending He sits aloft and smiles at this Emmet-hill of Earth with such a deale of Bustle and Garboyle and Vanity Foolery and Mischiefe Wickednes left beneath him Out of the Gun-shotte of Temptation freed from sinne in safety from Foes resting from labours exempt from sighs and teares and cares A Consort with Angels and happy Spirits that see Gods Face and attend vpon his Throne laughing euen Kings and all their painted Glories and Pleasures here to scorne There you shall one day see him againe face to face in that very House of clay which hee laid downe when hee left the World and You though altred in Quality And if that may make to the increase of your Blisse I am perswaded know and enioy him see Heauen the richer in your Seed his ioy augmented and made fuller by yours and yours by his Let Sadduces deny this and Gentiles deride it This is the Hope of Israel There you shall sing that Alleluïa with him Reu. to him that sits vpon the Throne and to the Lambe that hath redeemed you from the earth and made you Kings and Priests to God his Father and to the blessed Spirit of Truth and Comfort proceeding from them both the All-glorious Ineffable Eternall Trinity To whom in the meane time let vs in earth with them in Heauen knees faces and hearts bending to the dust before Him render all Praise Power Maiesty and Dominion for euermore Amen Soli Deo Trin-vni Gloria FILIVS AD PARENTES Viuo Ex Epitap◠cu iusdem nobilis Juuenis Germani qui in Angliae inter peregrinandum occubuit in Ecclesia Sancti Olaui Londini in Fratribus Crucigeris sepultus iacet fruor tandem veris ne flete Parentes Delicijs Coelo Posteritate Deo Deare Parents weepe not I liue and haue abode In Blisse enioying Heauen posterity and God FINIS