upon him my nature that he might become my Lord and King Saviour and Redeemer who brake the doors of Brass rescued me from the Rape of Hellish furies cast them out delivered my darling soul from the power of the Dog and barred the Gate that he could enter no more to stuff my thoughts with his detestable injections although he attempted a return Thou hast thrust fore at me oh mine enemy that I might fall but the Lord helped me many a time may I now say have these things afflicted me from my youth many a time have they afflicted me from my youth yet they have not prevailed against me The Plowers plowed upon my back they made long their furrows but the righteous Lord he hath cut asunder the cords of the weeked one I was brought low and the Lord helped me He hath delivered my soul from death mine eyes from tears and my feet from falling Oh Lord my God I will give thanks to thee for ever CHAP. V. Concluding the whole experiment with an account of the unconceivable sweetness of divine consolations the usual consequent of long and sort temptations a more then abundant reason to abide Gods leisure under the heavy load of dâ—sertions Of the cause of writing ANd now at last when the Lord my Lord of whom the Father said sit thou at my right hand until I make thy enemies thy foot-stoolâ— had set my soul at freedom by his mighty power he sent his blessed spirit the holy Ghost that most glorious self evidencing and sweet comforter whose sweetness no heart can conceive but he who hath tasted how good he is who shewed me from the Father and his blessed Son that all the miseries afore mentioned pressing me down were the delusions of Satan and whereas he intended to have made me a shame and reproach to all that should know or hear of my overthrow that now my God hath taken advantage of the greatness of my sins thereby to magnifie his mercy in pardoning thereof according to my cry in the day of my distress and that now I was of Abrahams Family numbred among the spiritual Children of Abraham a priviledge which I often especially under my troubles prized highly and desired earnestly to be partaker off The blessed spirit bearing witness of these things wrought in my soul such unconceiveable joy that in the words of Thomas I cryed out my Lord and my God so ravishing were the kisses of those divine lips of love that my heart was silled with joy unspeakable and glorious my mouth with laughter my body much weakened by the anguish and horror of my soul so that I kept my Chamber for many dayes together was now revived and my youth renewed as the Eagle that casteth her Beak so that I became as lightsome as if I had not known sorrow to the great admiration of my Friends who had known my long confinement to my Chamber by reason of sorrow and heavyness My heart my sorrowful heart of which I was wont to cry out None so fad none so disquieted as thou was now through the joy of the Lord quite altered The spirit of my God now covering me with the glorious robes of his Sons righteousness turned my mourning into dancing put off my Sackcloath and girded me with gladness gave me a garment of praise for the spirit of heavyness so that then and since being upheld by the same hand I could say I carry about me a chearful heart and a much more healthy body notwithstanding the great disappointments I in my worldly condition then met with and still lye under Being now enabled by faith to apprehend my self justified through the righteousness of God even the righteousness of Jesus Christ imputeth to poor sinners the guilt the obligation of my sins to punishment being taken away I can now through the tender mercy of God whereby the day spring from on high hath visited me comfortably give a challenge to Death and the Grave Oh Death where is thy sting oh Grave where is thy victory my dear Lord having ransomed me from the power and fear of the grave and helping me in despight of him that hath the power of death that is the Devil to look upon my self as one of those whom God the Father hath given to the Son as part of the travaile of his soul so that the Lord Christ delights in me as the gift of his Father and the purchase of his own bloud And my God loveth me with the same love wherewith he loveth his Son and all the promises of grace made to sinners in the holy word through Jesus Christ I have an interest in and expect to have fulfilled to me as far as it shall tend to his glory and my good He that gave me his Son will freely also give me all good things Well may I therefore take up the words of the Prophet Oh Lord I will praise thee for though thou wast angry with me thine anger is turned away and thou comfortedst me For the iniquity of my soul thou wast wroth with me and smotâ—st me but now thou hast healed me and restored comforts to me the Lord Jehovah is my strength and song he also is become my salâ—ation I waited patiently for the Lord and he encâ—â—ned his ear to me and heard my cry he drew my feet out of an horrible pit out of the miry clay and hath set me upon a Rock and established my goings What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits I will call upon him as long as I live I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people When the Lord Jesus is pleased to go away to withdraw the comfortable warm beams of his love and presence from the sight and sence of his poor people Joh. 16.6 like the Apostles their hearts are filled with heavyness they think every day a week and every week a month and every month a year the time seemeth tedious till he return till he lifteth up the light of his countenance till he restores comforts to them like the mother of Sisera they are putting forth their heads crying why are his Chariot wheels so long in coming But oh that such would remember what I now find that it is expedient for them that he should sometimes go away from them withholding his consolations for the holy Ghost the Comforter shall one time or other come to such as wait for it with such joy and peace that passeth all understanding of eye ear and heart of man And then long time spent in waiting shall seem but a little moment Is 40 2. and they shall receive double pay for all the punishments of their iniquities The Children of this world in this are wiser in their generation then the Children of light no discouragement of wind or rain can make them forbear their seasons of sowing in hope nor can the interposition of many perillous months delay work a dissolution of the hope that
him in the way of his judgements And now publick assemblies which were wont to be a great solace to me in my distress being not to be enjoyed in that purity I expected and the practise of the publique ministers being so contrary to my judgement and conscience I neither could nor would upon any terms become a hearer of them and thereupon did rather choose to expose my self to the scorn and displeasure of men in keeping meetings every Lords day in my Family Spending that day in prayer and praises and as occasion was offered dayes of humiliation These duties having most of them been my practise for many years wherein I served the Lord withall my might though sometimes under much dejection about the beginning of April my good God through the purchase made by the bloud of his Son that blessed seed of the Woman through whom he had covenanted with out first Parents immediately after the fall to give eternal life having by earnest prayer and intercession I humbly claiming this from the Lord that he would account and make me righteous through that purchase and redemption made by Christ now resolved to take up and put an end to the quarrel which he had against me for all my sins yet to let me know my deserving and to manifest a further work upon me did suffer the enemy to break in again upon me in most dreadful manner Charging upon me that one sin as formerly named above others with such violence and power That I believe I was in as great despair for the time as ever man was My soul by that malicious enemy to mankind being stuffed with all abominations of hellish thoughts injections cursed instigations with other base and abominable vile immaginations he at last infused into me as much malice against my blessed God as possibly he could I thought now I was utterly forsaken living in expectation of nothing but the lower most hell and brought now again almost to blaspheme When I saw that I was in this most dreadful case fearing I should I have wilfully blasphemed I could have been well content that God should have damned me and thrown mâ— into hell fear of being over tempted and thereby to blaspheme God made me weary of life When my Wife would put me on to pray for a blessing upon my meat I did it feignedly being willing to be starved if I could And now in this dreadful condition so dreadful that I believe few Sons of Adam were ever in a worse that did not do the things that I feared i. e. blaspheme God and destroy himself I say being in such a condition and the sin so often spoken of lying still heavy upon me and shame withholding me from revealing it for many years it pleased God to over-rule my spirit that I sent for a worthy Minister of Jesus Christ who coming to me the day before my deliverance I acquainted him with that sin which did so lye upon my Conscience and never was revealed before Well remembring how holy David Ps 32.3.5 who while he kept silence his waxed old through his roaring all the day long did but say he would confess his sin and the Lord forgave his iniquity So the Lord the very next day came and set my soul at rest The comfort and help that I found from my natural relations and friends this woful condition was none at all but instead of pitty I met with reproach from many only my dear yoke fellow was my fellow sufferer of whom I can say the Lord gave her to me for such a day as this to be his blessed instrument of my deliverance for when I was even distracted she laid the glory of the Lord deeply to her heart and did daily bring the word of God to my soul reading with great dilligence the holy Scriptures Which being done then powring forth her soul to the Lord with ardent affections and with a mighty faith in our gratious God who had manifested his great love to her in former troubles the experience of which encouraged her to go on still in earnest and frequent prayer and expectation that the Lord would accomplish the work of deliverance And upon the sixteenth day of April 1669. a day for ever to be solemnized as glorious and honourable to the Lord by me his poor creature she going on in her constant course of prayer after she had given the Lord his holy and reverend titles using Moses his arguments brake forth into these words My Father my Father what wilt thou do with mine husband he hath been speaking and acting still in thy cause oh destroy him not for thine own glory Oh! what dishonor will come to thy great name if thou do it Oh! rather do with me what thou wilt oh do with me what thou wilt but spare my Husband c. Thus laying hold of that word of God in the Prophet With a lively faith concerning your Sons and your Daughters command you me and striving mightily in prayer the duty being eâ—ded the Lord immediately appeared and then that Lyon of the tribe of Judah that blessed seed of the Woman that second Adam that promised Messiah the Son of the living God who had formerly broke the Serpents head he who in a single duel had disarmed the Devil in the Wilderness tâ—od the Wine press of his Fathers wrath alone this Jesus the Saviour who knew how to succour tempred souls made hare his holy arm and his own right hand brought dâ—liverance he delivered me from my strong enemy and saved mâ— from him that hated me He that is pleased to stile himself a God hearing prayer and in most of his great works delights to advance his own power by using small and unlikely means after long tarrying and in a time when I looked not for him came now and owned his own ordinance crowned the cryes and faith and patience of a poor Woman with such success that my praise shall be continually of him The proud mâ—y scorn but the humble shall hear ther of and be glad That roaring Lyon mine adversary the Devil that old Serpent that red-Dragon that unclean Spirit that Lyar Accuser Murtherer from the beginning that Apollion to the Geeckâ— Abbaddon to the Jews and destroyer to all for as are the names given him by the word of truth so is his nature and so hath he laboured mightily for a long season to shew himself in me even now when he thought himself almost seated in the pâ—ssâ—ssion of his long sought Dominion and that there was no casting of him out of my soul which â—e abused making it his dunghil whereon he laid all the filth of hellish thoughts and abominations that he could wanting nothing but my will that Fort-royal to have put me under an eternal vassalage to his long laid desigâ—s now I say was that accursed enemy to God and me his poor creature sent to his own place by my dear Lord Christ that holy Son of the blessed God who took
this Amalek of inbred corruption against which we have been fighting with the sword of the Spirit many a weary day Numb 24.20 I say then this Amalek the first of the nations that warred against Israel our souls his end shall be that he be destroyed for ever 3. Such a sence of sin remaining in us as hinders our rejoycing in expectation of the future glory or joyful thanksgiving for our present deliverances is not our duty but our sin God will not be robbed of his glory under a pretence of mourning for his dishonour as soon as God the Father hath delivered us from the power of darkness and translated us into the Kingdom of his dear Son Col. 1.12 13. 'T is then our duty to give thanks to him who hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance among the Saints in light He that readeth the book of the Acts and considereth how the holy Ghost takes notice of the affection of joy in the converts of those times Act. 2.46 Act. 8.8.39 Act. 9.31 Act. 16.34 may readily conclude that it is as natural for babes in Christ as soon as they are born to rejoyce as it is for others to cry The life of a real Christian should be a continual holy-day And therefore let us keep the feast according to that of our Apostle 1 Cor. 5.8 And follow the advice of that holy man Mr. Downam to that purpose in his Christian warfare who himself was not only troubled with this old man but also with blasphemous suggestions as he himself told me many years past when I went to seek comfort in my condition Let us submit lye down acquiese and be satisfied in the wisdom and goodness of God whose providence is every where and over ruleth all things in Heaven and earth for his own glory and his peoples good And rejoycing in our hopes of glory and interest in all the blessed promises of the word of God so go on in our Christian warfare with good courage not feating men or Devils as to perform out duties towards God and reach out after the end of our faith the salvation of our souls Christ in his word hath given us good assurance of our obtaining this In fidelity is the Devils greatest engine to destroy our rejoycing of hope Would the Lord but go on with his Conquest over unbelief and raise our faith into a more sollid substance of things hoped for Heb. 11.1 And a clearer evidence of things not seen Would he but teach us how to live by faith how rich a living would it afford us how sweetly might we in the contemplation of the truth and worth of that promised glory triumph over all adversities That state wherein poor man shall behold the face of the blessed God in such a fullness that the glorious Angels Heb. 2.16 are not capable of the like man who hath a nearer relation to Jesus Christ hath also a nearer standing to the very throne then the blessed Angels themselves Rev. 4.4 c. is so transporting so ravishing in the foresight thereof that we may well take up that triumphant song Oh Death where is thy stâ—ng oh Grave where is thy victory 1 Cor. 15.55 Behold what manner of love the Father hath loved us withall that we should be called the Sons of God Now are we the Sons of God And it doth not yet appear what we shall be but we know that when he shall appear we shall be like him for we shall see him as he is Oh! the length the heighth the breadth and depth the fulness of that love of Christ that passeth knowledge Now I come to the third sort of Professors â—nd they are such as have never been greatly â—roubled who though they have been scared â—nd lightly touched by the Arrows of the Almighty yet cannot say they have stuck fast â—ithin them and that the Poison thereof â—ath at any time drunk up their spirits To â—hese my request is that they would suffer a â—ord of warning from one who hath more â—â—eply drunk of the Cup of trembling That â—â—up which his Lord and master drank to the â—ottom that so in a little he might be conâ—â—rmable to his head and having obtained â—ercy might be found faithful The main of all I have to say to such is â—â—at my hearty prayer to God for them is â—â—at they all may be strengthened with all might according to his glorious power unto all patience and long suffering with joyfulness Col. 1.11 That they may walk worthy of the Lord in all well pleasing Remembring 1. The gentler dealings of the Lord with them then with others calls for hearty acknowledgement of thanksgiving Judg. 8.16 He might have taught you with the bryars and thorns of the Wilderness whereas he hath led you with the gentle cords of a man Hos 11.4 Spared you as a man spareth his Son that serveth him Mal. 3 17. He hath made you free without serving a long and hard Apprenticeship under the yoke of bondage He hath gone an easier way with yoâ— then the way of the Philistins Exod. 13.17 you have not seen warr as others have done Let the miseries of me and others provokâ— you to thankfulness and fruitfulness in everâ— good work 2. Remember your condition is not yet 〈◊〉 safe your danger is not so farr over but thâ—â— you have need of caution your great caâ—â— should be that your latter end might be peaâ—â— Prize the peace of your Conscience aâ—â— while you are in with God oh keep in wiâ—â— him still if you let sin in you drive God 〈◊〉 of your souls And when he is gone all yoâ—â— peace is gone all your comfort of hope is gone too A privation of the light of his countenance will beget a dismal night of horror sin will tumble you down from your Heaven of Communion with God and then the valley of the shadow of death will be your walk and Hellish fiends shall frighten you there with continual alarums of your falling lower into the depths of Hell And how long it may be thus with you who can tell oh how will you be able to bear such changes as these are learn of me and others in like case and be wise think not that your present favour of men or gain of Silver and Gold or flattering pleasures of vanity will make you satisfaction for the harms done by sin Or that the remembrance of these will ransome you from or purchase you the least gentler usuage under the hand of terror Your profession is no priviledged condition Sin can find out the sinner even when he hath taken Sanctuary in Sion Is 33.14 Nothing but righteousness can deliver from death Prov. 10 2. Be found any where or doing any thing else and be sure your sin will find you out Num. 32.23 Those things that appear to thee to be plainly sinful or of the lawfulness whereof thou makest a doubt peremtorily refuse the one and patiently forbear till thou art well
it had before The Flowers and Herbs and Spices did as liberally send abroad their sweet Odours as they did before The sight wanted nothing of that compleatest beauty which clad the whole Creation It had the same ravishing Object discerning Organ and diffusing Medium the eye saw the Sun shone the creatures shewed themselves as much as they did before And yet poor Adam could not take that delight in any thing as he took before oh monstrouâ— Oh astonishing change what will not a guilty Conscience do when sin entred into the world what a death came upon all the comforts that were in the world and now what footsteps of melancholly canst thou find here it is probable that he who came but newly warm out of his makers hands so exactly tempered as might have made him live a life of immortallity should thus be astonished and câ—ushed into amazing dread upon the juddain and all by the abounding of a melancholick humour away with this conceit Rather think what sad work sin will one day or other make upon the soul that maketh not a speedy return and an holy timely resistance against it 3. But still thou art of opinion that 't is melancholly that doth all this mischief amongst the Sons of Adam however it fared with their Father well be it so but tell me then dost thou think that it is not possible for theâ— to fall into the like condition is not the God with whom thou hast to do the God of nature as well as the God of grace and therefore able to prohibite the comfortable influence of and suffer discords and disorders to arise in both he is able to transform thee into a breathing Statue to make this jollity and roaring mirth to hide its head and hold its peace while sorrow and sadness tribulation and anguish gnaw upon thine heart he is able to cut off the spirit of Princes Ps 76.12 Kings cannot stand before him they that have the greatest advantages and priviledges above all other men to solace themselves in the abundance of Earthly delights do little think how easily God can bring them down without hands he can smite thy heart with melancholly as well as others 't is but for him to cross thee in the thing thou settest thine heart upon and where art thou then no further proof of this is needed then that of Saul A man considering to what by whom over whom he was raised that might have as well expected a peaceable continuance in his great and unsought-for Royalty as any other Monarch And yet you find it otherwise God for his neglect of waiting patiently and believingly takes away his Kingdom puts him under the rule of an evil spirit 1 Sam. 16.14 The spirit of the Lord departed from him and the evil spirit from the Lord terrified troubled him Thus you see 't is not easie to dally with sin God can make the sinner quickly weary of his life by withdrawing the comfort and quiet of it and filling it with so much terror and horror that there shall not be the least room left for pleasures I told you of Nebuchadnezzar of Cain Bellshazzer and Judas and now of Saul and you your selves may possibly remember what doleful examples have been in your own knowledge how those who spent their days in pleasure putting Heaven to defiance by their ungodly conversations have some of them at least been glad to be beholden to the Knife to the Halter to the Water to the Sword to the Bullet c. to help their tormented soules out of their weary bodies So exquisite is that torture arising from an awakened Conscience that it puts the patient upon a miserable choice of ending his present agonies with the adventure of an infinitely more worse rather then abide the woe that is therein Poor man such a thing as this can the hand of the Lord once lifted up against thee bring upon thee Thou thinkest thou hast little cause to fear falling into the depths of terrors because resolved to avoid melancholly by a merry life Thou conceivest that to be the only cause of any ones distress and therefore not so much to be feared But were this true alasâ— thou hast the greater cause to sear Thine enemy is within thy own bowels As Physick doth not always preserve him who with the greatest care and constancy observeth its rules but oftentimes apparently brings to an untimely end so carnal joyes do by inward peace preserve it they may a while but many times destroy it by provoking the just God to arise in his wrath But however this is most certain corporal medicines cannot immortalize any mans person nor can carnal mirth any mans peace assuredly God will break that peace that is not purchased by the bloud of Christs Cross One time or other call it melancholly or what you will that fit of fears shall so closely follow the now presumptuous soul that no carnal no corporal cordial nothing but a touch of that hand that cast down will be able to rid away Such an evil that no King can cure but he whose prerogative it is to kill and make alive out of whose hand none can deliver Deut. 32.29 6. Remember judgement is already gone out against thee the sentence wants nothing but execution The righteous Law of God which he is resolved to magnifie and make it glorious hath already declared what shall be the end of impenitency Bless not thy self with vain thoughts that God will spare any one for his greatness or for his goodness or his meanness or for any thing but his own Sons righteousness and such also must not go free without their share of a wounded Conscience 4. especial hours of temptation At the begining of Spiritual life or the end of natural or upon some hainous fin committed or heavy afliction let out God usually at one of these times more or less will have every one to know by sad experience that he himself is a righteous sin-hating God that the Devil is a malicious soul-hunting enemy that they themselves are in a miserable and forlorn condition without a multitude of tender mercy no way to be had but by a Christ The Law spares none and the Law-maker is a God of truth that will keep up the authority and honour of his own sayings to a little Oh! take the book of the Law in your hands then and let the truth of that strike such a terror into thee that may make thee to betake thy self to the love and life of Christ with strong cryes to save thee from the terror of that wrath that is to come If you will not hearken unto me and will not do all these Commandments And if you shall despise my statutes or if your soul abhor my judgements so that you will not do all my Commandments but that ye break my Covenant I also will do this unto you I will even appoint over you terror Levit. 26.14 15 16. If there be among you a
root that beareth Gall and Wormwood and it come to pass when he heareth the words of this curse that he bless himself in his heart saying I shall have peace though I walk in the immagination of my heart to add drunkenness to thirst the Lord will not spare him but then the anger of the Lord and his jealousie shall smoak against that man and all the curses that are written in this book shall fly upon him and the Lord shall blot out his name from under Heaven and the Lord shall seperate him unto evil Deut 29.19 20. According to all the curses of the Covenant that are written in this book of the Law Because I have called and you refused I have stretched out my hand and no man regardeth but ye have set at nought my councels and would none of my reproofes I also will laugh at your calamity I will mock when your Fear cometh When your Fear cometh as desolation and your Destrection cometh as a whirle-wind when Distress and Anguish cometh upon you c. Prov. 24 c. How express is the holy Law of God terror hath an appointed season distress and anguish lye in the Womb of time God hath hiâ— vials of wrath tribulation and anguish to powrâ—â—â— upon enery soul of man that doth evil Rom. 2. 〈◊〉 and who knows what a day may bring forth Prov. 27.1 7. How many a time hath Hell-fire flashed in thy face already and yet thou returnest not I mean how oft hast thou found terror seizing upon thee at all times which yet thou hast shaken off again I can hardly believe there is any sinner in the world that now sinneth with the greatest delight and freedom but findeth that his way is beset with dangers I know not what may be said of such who live in Countryes where the word of God hath not been familiarly taught the Apostle of the Gentiles seemeth to speak the same thing plainly concerning them Even they have witness bearing Consciences and thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another Rom. 2.15 The Devils servants have an hard Apprentiship before they be made free They sin with much bondage before they come to sin with delight The spirit of God hath striven with them their own hearts have smitten them secret warnings have they had within themselves oh do not this thing which God hateth now what do these things mean why they shew you what is like nay sure to be the wages of sin that God will not be blamed when he shall sentence you to an eternal bondage under his heavy wrath He now would have frightned you out of your sinful state and you would not he sent his spirit to strive with you and wring your weapons of sin out of your hands and you would not let them go he gave you some tastes of the Cup of trembling shook the full bottles of wrath before thy eyes which he might have put to thy lips and held them fast there until thou hadst been overwhelmed with terrors He drew his bow and whet his sword that thou beholding that mightest prepare thy seâ—f to escape the prepared instruments of death So that poor sinner thou art not an utter stranger to the things that I am perswading thee to think off the terrors of God Some small appearances may be have been sometime found in thee upon commission of some extraordinary sin Well see to it this is the bitter root which though thou labour to bury it under the Earth a while will without doubt spring up into a mighty tree bringing forth the fruits of shame pain and death 8. Thou goest on merrily in the way of thine own heart labouring to suppress thy sorrows at the first rising Thou hast no thoughts of thy latter end which thou smotherest not in their very beginning But remember though thou fearest not thy self now upon the Earth but thy danger is better thought off in Hell Oh I think with thy self that the story of dâ—mned Dâ—vâ—s was not penned from the mouth of Christ in vain Luke 16.27 c. rather judge it to be as indeed it is an argument fetcht from Hell to carry thee over into the ways of Heaven All thy old acquaintance and relations who once while they were in the Land of the living spent their days in pleasure drawing thee on to use the good things that are now present Wisd 2.6 c. Come on let us fill our selves with costly wine and Ointments and let no flower of the Spring pass by us Let us Crown our selves with Rose-bud before they be withered let none of us go without his part of our jollity let us leave tokens of our joyfulness in every place for this is our portion and our lot is this Let us oppress the poor righteous man let our strength be the Law of justice let us lye in wait for the righteous because he is not for our turn he is clean contrary to our doings he upbraideth us with our offending the Law and objecteth to our infamy the transgressings of our education He professeth himself to have the knowledge of God and he calleth himself the Child of the Lord he was made to reprove our thoughts he is grievous unto us even to behold for his life is not like other mens his ways are of another fashion we are esteemed of him as counterfeit false come he abstaineth from our ways as from filthyness he pronounceth the end of the just to be blessed and maketh his boast that God is his Father let us see if his words be true and let us prove what shall happen in the end of him For if the just man be the Son of God he will help him and deliver him from the hand of his enemies let us examine him with despightfulness and torture him that we may know his meekness and prove his patience let us condemn him with a shameful death for by his own saying he shall be respected In contemplation follow these boon Companions down to Hell and you shall find them of another mind Wisd 5.2 c. There they shall be troubled with terrible fear and shall be amazed at the strangeness of the despised righteous mans salvation so farr beyond all that they looked for And repenting and groaning within themselves for anguish of spirit shall say This was he whom we had sometimes in derision and a Proverb of reproach we fools accounted his life madness and his end to be without honour How is he numbred among the Children of God and his lot is among the Saints therefore have we erred from the right way we wearied our selves in the way of wickedness and destruction what hath Pride profitted us or what good hath riches with our vaurting brought us all those things are passed as a shadow and as a Post that hasteth away and as a Ship that pâ—sseth over the waves of the water or when as a bird hath flown through the air or like an arrow shot at
why say you my way is hidden from the Lord and my judgement passed over of my God know you not or have you not heard that the everlasting God the Lords of the ends of the Earth is neither weary nor fainteth but giveth strength to him that fainteth the young men shall faint and be weary but they that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength and lift up their wings as the Eagle they shall run and not faint In that day when the Mountains of the Lords house shall be established above the Mountains of the Earth for which glorious day I shall not cease to pray for O thou eternal being of beings whose name is Jehovah the Lord of Hosts who hast made the Heavens the earth the great sea and all the Creatures therein for the manifesting of thy blessed self in thine excellency that so by the displaying of thy glorious attributes we might know thy power wisdom and goodness and fear thy great and glorious name and truly Lord thou hadst done a most sweet work in the day wherein thou beheldst the works of thy hands and said they were very good O the great engagements of love and obedience thou hast laid upon us in that day when thou hadst advanced us and made us not only Lords of the works of thine hands and for our use putting all things in subjection under our feet but making us after thine own Image in righteousness and holiness whereby thou didst enable us to the performance of worship and obedience thou requirest at our hands But O the great dishonour and Rebellion we acted against thee our Creator in breaking thy holy Law which thou gavest us to keep as the Tryal of our obedience and by giving more credit unto Sathan in believing him and what he said then the threatnings of thee our God and therefore O Lord how righteous wast thou in thy judgements upon them and us their posterity in delivering us into the hands of Satan so that we who came from their loins came so deformed with that cursed Image of Satan that we are born thine enemies children of wrath and heirs of vengeance and bringing upon our selves a woful necessity of sinning against thee O Lord how justly mightest thou laid upon our first Parents and we their posterity to have born thy righteous punishments for ever without Redemption But blessed Lord thou didst in judgement remember mercy in condescending to treat with our Parents letting out that gratious promise That the seed of the woman should break the serpents head revealing mercy by a second Adam to come and so entring into a new covenant not of works but of grace that believing in him we should have eternal Life O gratious Father how didst thou magnifie thy mercy over the works of thine hands and didst do a work more wonderful then the Creation in giving the eternal word the brightness of thy glory the express Image of thy self thine only begotten Son by an eternal generation to take upon him the nature of man and to be born of the blessed Virgin that so he might by an Hupostatical union joy the humanity to the diety that so he might be enabled to undergo the work of mans Redemption a work so wonderful that all the Angels could not have devised and into which they pry into with admiration that thereby he might make such an attonement that might satisfie for the sins of man to the utmost and that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have Eternal Life And now dear Father thou hast given us the word of reconciliation the witness of thy truth wherein thou hast made known to us that thou hast given us eternal Life by Jesus Christ that immaculate Lamb of God who hath laid down his Life upon the Cross to answer thy justice and by his sufferings merits and Righteousness Resurrection from Death to Life hath cancelled the Law of condemnation taking down the wall of partition and making admission for sinners to come to the Throne of Grace with boldness And now hast given us pretious promises that what we ask in the name of thy son shall be done for us And now dear Father of Heaven what was I or my Fathers family but a sinful generation of men That thou shouldst choose me to salvation before the world was and in due time to call me to the knowledge of this mistery of mans Redemption and by the witness of thy word and blessed spirit should seal unto me the pardon of sin in the day when thou deliveredst me out of the hands of that roaring Lyon And after my seeking thy face for many years with doubtings and fears under many desertions and dreadful temptations and many various dispensations which thou most blessed God hast turned all to my advantage breaking into my Soul with so much love that I know not whom of the sons of men did ever receive a greater mercy And now Lord of thy goodness hast called me from the ways of the world to be of the number of those whom thou hast chosen to eternal Life and therefore having tasted so abundantly of thy strange Love a Love to admiration a Love we are not able to apprehend in the acknowledgement whereof and that I might declare what a God thou art according to mine engagement and that I might exalt thy glorious name and declare thy loving kindness to me to the ends of the earth have made bold to present these lines to the publick view for the magnifying of thy mercies to me the worst of the sons of men and the greatest of sinners if thou shouldest charge my sins upon me and be thou pleased to accept of what I have written in good part and let thy blessing so go along with it that the delusions methods devices and temptationt of Sathan that old cunning Serpent may be so discovered to poor souls that lye under his cruelty may receive advantage thereby When they shall read this small discourse of thy gratious actings with me O let thy blessing be upon iâ— that they may receive comfort thereby that thy goodness may be magnâ—fied which thou knowest Lord to be the only cause I have given it to the publick view who never thought my namâ— should have appeared in such a way And now dear Father I humbly beseech thee manifest thy glorious Gospel of thy Son to the ends of the Earth that all Nations may know thou art a God through Jesus Christ forgiving iniquity transgression and sin and to that end I humbly beseech thee fulfill thy word in pouring out thy indignation upon that whore of Babylon who hath dyed her garments red in the blood of the Saints that we may say Babylon Babylon is fallen and upon all the powers that oppose the righteous Scepter of thy Son the Gospel whom thou hast made King of Kings and Lord of Lords and hast given him the Heathen for his inheritance and the utmost ends of the earth for his possession who