Daughter Mistriss Odd-Humour Two Fathers of the Church Gentlemen Maid-Servants Men-Servants A Nurse THE RELIGIOUS ACT I. Scene 1. Enter two Maid-Servants Kate and Joan. KAte My Masters Nephew and my Ladyes Daughter are the kindest lovers for so young ones as that ever I knew Ioan. I believe you never knew such young ones for she is not above ten years of age and he but thirteen or fourteen Kate He addresseth himself in that Country manner and pleads his Love-sure with such affectionate respect and she gives Audience with such modest attention as one would think they were older by a douzen years a-piece than they are Ioan. They have been bred together and they have not been acquainted with the Vanityes and Vices of the World which makes love the more pure Kate My Lady desires my Master that he would give consent his Nephew may marry her Daughter Ioan. She hath reason for he is the only Son of his Father my Masters Brother the Lord Dorato who is very rich and is in great favour with the Arch-Prince of the Country Kate Why so is my Ladyes Daughter the only Child of her Parents and she is Heir to her Fathers Estate Ioan. Yes but her Father left so many Debts when he dyed as the Estate will not be so great as it is thought to be Kate But by that time she is of Age the Debts may be paid Ioan. But my Lady hath a great Jointure out of it that will be a hindrance to the payment ôf Debts Kate Well I believe whether they have their friends consent or not they will marry they love so very much each other Ioan. Perchance so and then repent when they come to elder years that they marryed so young Kate Faith that they may do if they were double their Age for few marry that repent not Ioan. Well come away and leave them to repentance Kate Nay stay they are not married yet Exeunt Scene 2. Enter Sir Thomas Gravity and his Lady LAdy Pray Husband give your Nephew leave to marry my Daughter Sir Thomas Gravity Time enough Wife they are young and may stay this seven years and indeed they are so young as it is not fit they should marry besides I have not absolute power to dispose of my Nephew for though my Brother left him to my care and breeding when he went Ambassadour to the Emperour because his Wife was dead and none so fit to leave him with as I yet to marry him without his Fathers Knowledge or Consent will not be taken well nay perchance he may be very angry Lady Come come he will not displease you with his anger for fear he may lose that you have power to give from him which is your Estate which you may leave to him or his Son having no Children of your own wherefore pray Husband grant my request Sir Thomas Gravity Well wife I will consider it Lady Nay if you consider you will find so many excuses as you will deny my request with excuse Sir Thomas Gravity Faith if I do consent to this marriage it will be to be rid of my Nephews and your importunity Lady You may be sure we will never let you be quiet Sir Thomas Gravity I believe you Exeunt Scene 3. Enter MIstriss Odd-Humour and her Maid Nan Mistriss Odd-Humour Nan give me my work and my little armed Chair The Maid goeth out and strait enters with a little low wicker armed Chair she sits in it but is forced to crowd her self into it the Chair being too little for her seat Nan Lord Mistriss you take great pains to crowd into that Chair I wonder you can take delight to sit so uneasily Mistriss Odd-Humour O custome is a second Nature for I using to sit in this Chair from my Childhood I have a Natural Love to it as to an old acquaintance and being accustomed to sit in it it feels easier She works the whilst she sits and speaks than any other seat for use and custome makes all things easy when that we are unaccustomed to is difficult and troublesome but I take so much delight to sit and work or Sing old Ballads in this Chair as I would not part from it for any thing Nan Yes you would part with your little old Chair for a proper young Husband who would set you on his knees Mistriss Odd-Humour By my faith but I would not for I should find more trouble and less case on a young Husbands knees than on my old Chairs Seat Nan But if you should sit in this Chair when you were marryed your Husband must kneel down if he would kiss you Mistriss Odd-Humour Why then this Chair will learn a Husband humble submission and obedience which Husbands never knew but Nan prethee fetch me some of my old Ballads to sing for I am weary of working One calls Nan in another room Nan Mistriss your Mother calls you She strives to get out of the little Chair hitching first on one side and then on the other side wringing her self by degrees out the whilst speaks Mistriss Odd-Humour I had as lieve be whipt as stir Nan You have reason you labour so much and ring your self so hard as whipping would be less pain for your Chair is now sitter for your Head than your Britch Mistriss Odd-Humour Not unless to break my head for a Chair is not a fit rest for the head for then the heels would be upwards and so I might be thought a Light-heeld wench for light things fly or ly upwards Nan Why the head that is the uppermost part of the body is not light Mistriss Odd-Humour Yes when 't is mad or drunk Exeunt Scene 4. Enter the Lord Dorato Ambassador and a Man with Letters LOrd Dorato How doth my Brother and my Son Man Very well my Lord The Lord reads a Letter Lord Dorato How is this my Son marryed to my Brothers Wives Daughter without my Knowledge or Consent to a Girl whose Estate hath more Debts than Lands and who knows how she will prove when she is a woman and my Son to marry a wife before he hath wit to govern a wife to put a clog to his heels to hinder his Travell for Knowledge sure my Brother is mad dotingly mad to be perswaded by a foolish woman his wife for I know it was her insinuating perswasions that made him agree to the marriage O I could curse the time I sent my Son to him and my self for trusting him to educate and govern him who hath bred him to be as foolish as himself O foolish Son and more foolish Brother by how much being older but I will break the marriage-knot asunder or disinherit my Son or marry and get another that may prove more wise and happy to me Do you know of my Sons marriage Man Yes Sir for t is much talk'd of and of the extraordinary love betwixt the young couple Lord Dorato A couple of young Puppyes and their Unckle an old Al 's O the
is prevalent Nan but what manner of man is this man that my Father is treating with is he handsome or rich or famous or honoured with title for I would not put my father to charges and not have a Husband worth my Portion Nan He is rich and a thriving man Mistriss Odd-Humour That is to say a rich miserable man and when I am marryed to him I shall be his poor miserable wife for he will not allow me any thing to spend hardly to eat Nan Then your Chair will be big enough for you Mistriss Odd-Humour Or I shall be little enough for my Chair for a spare diet will make bare bones Nan If you be lean you will want a Cushion unless your Husband will allow you one Mistriss Odd-Humour A miserable Husband will never do that for they think ease breeds Idleness Nan If he be miserable he will be pleased you shall be idle for exercise doth cause a hungry Stomack but if he be a jealous Husband he will not be pleased you should be idle for idleness breeds wantoness Mistriss Odd-Humour A jealous Husband and a miserable is to a woman much a-like for the one bars a wife from Company the other from Meat the one will not allow her fine Cloathes the other dares not let her wear fine Clothes the one will not maintain Servants to wait on her the other dares not trust Servants to wait upon her lest they should be corrupted to be Pimps or Bawds also a miserable Husband and a Prodigal one is a-like to a wife the one keeps all his wealth and spends none the other spends all and keeps none the one will give his wife none the other will spare his wife none from himself and Vanities and Vices thus a wife is poor or unhappy either in a spender or a sparer but if my Father would not cast me and my Portion a-way is to marry me to a man whose bounty or liberality is within one part of his wealth as three parts liberality and four parts wealth and one that hath more love than jealousy more merit than title more honesty than wealth and more wealth than necessity Nan But if you never marry till your Father get you such a Husband you will dy an old Maid Mistriss Odd-Humour I had rather dy an old Maid than be an unhappy Wife Exeunt Scene 11. Enter Sir Thomas Gravity and his Lady SIr Thomas Gravity Why are you angry with me because my Brother is an enemy to the marriage I was a Friend to it and did my part consenting to what you desired and why are you angry with me because the Laws have disanulled the marriage I cannot alter the Laws Lady But your Brothers power with the Arch-Prince and the Arch-Princes power on the Judges and Lawyers Divines and Church-men hath corrupted the Laws and caused Injustice Sir Thomas Gravity That 's none of my fault I have not power to mend them but let me have so much power with you as to perswade you to be patient in matters where your impatience will do you no good also let me Counsel you to advise your Daughter to endeavour to forget my Nephew at least not to love him as a Husband but to place her affections upon some other man for she being freed by the law may marry again who she shall think best to chuse And to draw her off from her Melancholy humour you must perswade her to divert her self and thoughts with variety of Company and to take delight in such things as other Ladyes use as fine Dressing rich Cloathing sportfull Dancing merry Meeting and the like and she being very handsome since she is grown to womans years will be admired praised and sued too in which admirations and praises women take glory and are proud to be wooed for it is the pleasure of their life and the life of their pleasure Lady But how if I cannot perswade her to associate her self with young Company like her self or to wear fine Cloaths or to take pleasure in sports and plays Sir Thomas Gravity Command her to adorn her self bravely and to go to Balls Playes and Masks and those pleasures will steal on her unawares and no question but a little time will make her take such delight therein as she will be so fond of Company and Bravery as you will find it difficult if not impossible to perswade her from it Lady I will take your Counsel and follow your advice Exeunt Scene 12. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. My Lord hath sent for his Son to come home for to marry with the Arch-Prince's Neece 2 Gent. She is a Lady that hath more Wealth than Beauty and more Title than Wit 1 Gent. My Lord cares not to marry his Son to Beauty or Wit but to Riches and Honour 2 Gent. My Lord is Covetous and Ambitious 1 Gent. So are all wise men for they know that Wealth and Honour are the Pillars and Supporters to hold up their Familyes that makes Fathers desirous and industrious to marry their Sons to great Fortunes and not to great Beautyes that their successors may not be buryed in Poverty for Beauty is only for delight but not for continuance Beauty lives only with fond Youth Riches with wife Age and Dignity Crowns antient Riches for a long and rich succession is a Gentlemans Pedigree 2 Gent. I thought Merit had been the foundation of a Gentleman 1 Gent. So it is sometimes but not always for where Merit Dignified one Family Riches Dignified a hundred poor Merit is buryed in Oblivion unless Fame builds him a Monument whereas Riches build Monuments to Fames Palace and bring Fame down to his Palace but Merit without the assistance of Riches can neither feed nor cloth nor sustain nor cannot buy Houses to live in nor Lands to live on it cannot leave anything for Antiquity but the memory of it self wherefore my Lord is wise to chase Riches for his Son 1 Gent. But 't is a question whether his Son will take them and leave the Lady be once was marryed too for 't is said that she is grown an extraordinary Beauty Exeunt Scene 13. Enter Lady Gravity and Lady Perfection her Daughter in black very handsome LAdy Gravity Will not you obey my commands Lady Perfection Yes Madam so far as it is my duty Lady Gravity Then do as I command you dress fine and keep Company Lady Perfection Gay Cloths Madam and my mind will not be suitable my indisposed humour and Company will not be agreeable neither know I how to behave my self in this condition I am in nor how to associate my self for since my marriage is disanull'd I am neither Maid Virgin Widow nor Wife Lady Gravity Come come you are my Daughter that 's sufficient Exeunt Scene 14. Enter two Men 1 MAn Faith I pitty my young Lord for since he is returned from his tedious travels he is kept Prisoner at the Court for the Arch-Prince and his Father will not suffer
of my posterity Lord Singularity Why Sir it were better to lye in dark oblivion than to have a false light to devulge your disgrace and you had better pull out the root than to have a branch of dishonour ingrafted therein Lord Fatherly All these Arguments against Marriage is because you would injoy your Mistresses with freedom fearing you should be disturbed by a wife Lord Singularity That needs not for I observe married Men takes as much liberty if not more than Batchellors for Batchellors are affraid they should challenge a promise of Marriage and married Men are out of that danger Lord Father Then that is the reason that Batchellors Court Married wives and Married Men Courts Maides but howsoever Son if all Men should be of your mind there would be no Marring nor giving in Marriage but all must be in Common Lord Singularity That were best Sir for then there could be no Adultery committed or Cuckolds made Lord Fatherly For shame take courage and be not afraid of a Woman Lord Singularity By Heaven Sir I would sooner yield up my life to death thau venture my honour to a womans management Lord Father Well Son I shall not force you with threates or commands to marry against your will and good likeing but I hope Heaven will turn your mind towards marriage and sent thee a loving vertuous and discreet wife Scene 2. Enter the Lady Wagtaile the Lady Amorous Sir Timothy Compliment Sir Humphrey Bold and Sir Roger Exception SIr Timothy Compliment Bright beauty may I be Servant Lady Amorous If I have any beauty it was begot in your Eyes And takes light from your commendations Sir Timothy Compliment You are Lady the Starre of your Sex Lady Amorous No truely I am but a Meteor that soon goeth out Lady Wagtaile Preethy Sir Timothy Compliment and Lady Amorous do not stand prating here but let us go a broad to some place to devert the time Lady Amorous Dear Wagtaile whether shall we goe Sir Timothy Compliment Faith let us go to a Play Sir Humphrey Bold Let 's go to a Tavern Sir Roger Exception What with Ladyes Sir Humphrey Bold Why Ladyes have been in Tavernes before now Sir Roger Exception It were as good to carry them to a Bawdy-house Sir Humphrey Bold As good say you faith now I think of it better it were the only place to pass a way idle time Come Ladyes shall we go Lady Amorous Whether Sir Humphrey Bold To a Bawdy-house Lady Amorous O sve sve Sir Humphrey Bold how wantonly you talk Lady Wagtaile But would you carry us in good earnest to a Bawdy-house Sir Humphrey Bold Why do you question it when every house is a secret Bawdy-house Na Let me tell you there be many Right Worshipfull Nay Right Honourable and most Noble Pallaces made Bawdy-houses Sir Roger Exception Some perchance that are old and ruinous and the right owners out Sir Humphrey Bold No some that are new large and finely furnished and the owners stately proud scornfull and jeering living therein Sir Roger Exception They should take heed of jeering least they be jeered and of being scornfull least they be scorned Sir Humphrey Bold What say you Ladyes are you resolved Lady Wagtaile No No we will not go with you to such places now but I will carry you to a young Lady whose Father is newly dead and hath left her all his Estate and she is become a great heir Sir Roger Exception Perchance Lady she will not receive our visit if her Father be newly dead Lady Wagtaile I perceive you are ignorant of Funerall customes for widdowes heires and heiresses receives visits whilst the Corpes lyes above ground And they will keep them so much the longer to have so many more visitants nay sometimes they will keep them so long as there dissembling is perceived or so long as they stink above ground for if they bury not the Corpes and set empty Coffins for want of imbalming their miserableness will stench up the Nostrils of their vanity Sir Roger Vanity Nay by your savour Lady there are some that are buried whilst they are steeming hot Sir Humphrey Bold Those are only such whose Executors widdowes or widdowers seares they may revive again and rather than that they should do so they will bury them alive Lady Wagtaile You say rightly true Sir Humphrey Bold Sir Timothy Compliment Sweet beautyes let us go to see this Rich heiress Lady Amorous Content Sir Roger Exception But Ladyes are you acquainted with her Lady Wagtaile O no! But you may know that all women rather than want visits they will go to those they never saw nor spoak to but only heares of them and where they live and I can direct the Coachman to this Ladyes Lodging wherefore let us go Sir Humphrey Bold I shall not deny to visit a Rich heiress Sir Roger Exception I shall waite upon you Ladyes but Lady Wagtaile Nay never make buts but let 's go Lady Amorous Pray let us call Sir Serious Dumb to go along with us Lady Wagtaile Faith Amorous you love his Company because he can tell no tales Sir Humphrey Bold Pray call him not but let him alone for I dare sweare he is inventing of some useless and foolish Art Sir Timothy Compliment Is he so inventive say you but if his inventions is useless he invents in vain Sir Roger Exception Why may not a Dumb mans Inventions be as good as a blind for the most usefullest Artes were invented as the learned saith by one born blind Lady Wagtaile Me thinkes a dumb man should not have much wit for by my troath one that is dumb seemes to me like a fool nay one that speakes but little I cannot for my life but condemn him or her for an Ass Sir Humphrey Bold He may be a fool although he may chance to light on some inventions for Artes are oftner produced from chance than wit but let us go and leave him Lady Wagtaile whispers to Sir H. Bold Lady Wagtaile Faith Sir Humphrey Bold we must call him or otherwise my friend Amorous will be out of humour Sir Humphrey Bold Doth she love silence so well Lady Wagtaile No no it is that she loves secrecy so well Exit CHORUS In a minutes time is flown From a Child to Woman grown Some will smile or laughing say This is but a foolish Play By Reason a Comedy should of one dayes action be Let them laugh and so will I At there great simplicity I as other Poets brings Severall Nations Subjects Kings All to Act upon one stage So severall times in one Age Scene 3. Enter the Lady Orphant and Mrs. Acquaintance MIstriss Acquaintance How do you know the Lord Singularity is such a gallant man For he hath been out of the Kingdom this 7. yeares wherefore you could have no acquaintance you being yet very young Lady Orphant Although I have no acquaintance by sight or experienced knowledge yet by report I have for I remembred I heard my Father
or Wife to the Lord de L'amour 6. Passive the Lady Innocences maid 7. Falshood an informer to maids of the Lady Incontinent Physitians Natural Philosophers Moral Philosophers young Students Souldiers Lovers Mourners Virgins Servants and others ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love and his wife the Mother Lady Love MOther Love Husband you have a strange nature that having but one child and never like to have more and this your childe a daughter that you should breed her so strictly as to give her no time for recreation nor no liberty for company nor freedom for conversation but keeps her as a Prisoner and makes her a slave to her book and your tedious moral discourses when other children have Play-fellows and toyes to sport and passe their time withall Father Love Good wife be content doth not she play when she reads books of Poetry and can there be nobler amiabler finer usefuller and wiser companions than the Sciences or pleasanter Play-fellows than the Muses can she have freer conversation than with wit or more various recreations than Scenes Sonets and Poems Tragical Comical and Musical and the like Or have prettier toyes to sport withall than fancie and hath not the liberty so many hours in the day as children have to play in Mother Love Do you call this playing which sets her brain a working to find out the conceits when perchance there is none to find out but are cheats and cozens the Readers with empty words at best it fills her head but with strange phantasmes disturbs her sleep with frightfull dreams of transformed bodyes of Monsters and ugly shaped vices of Hells and Furies and terrifying Gods of Wars and Battles of long travels and dangerous escapes and the pleasantest is but dark groves gloomy fields and the happiest condition but to walk idly about the Elizium fields and thus you breed your daughter as if your Posterity were to be raised from a Poets phantastical brain Father Love I wish my Posterity may last but as long as Homers lines Mother Love Truly it will be a fine airey brood No no I will have her bred as to make a good houswife as to know how to order her Family breed her Children govern her Servants entertain her Neighbours and to fashion herself to all companies times and places and not to be mewed and moped up as she is from all the World insomuch as she never saw twenty persons in one company in all her life unless it be in pictures which you set her to stare on above an hour everyday Besides what Father doth educate their Daughters that office belongs to me but because you have never a Son to tutor therefore you will turn Cotqucan and teach your daughter which is my work Father Love Let me tell you Wife that is the reason all women are fools for women breeding up women one fool breeding up another and as long as that custom lasts there is no hopes of amendment and ancient customs being a second nature makes folly hereditary in that Sex by reason their education is effeminate and their times spent in pins points and laces their study only vain fashions which breeds prodigality pride and envie Mother Love What would you have women bred up to swear swagger gaming drinking Whoring as most men are Father Love No Wife I would have them bred in learned Schools to noble Arts and Sciences as wise men are Mother Love What Arts to ride Horses and fight Dewels Father Love Yes if it be to defend their Honour Countrey and Religion For noble Arts makes not base Vices nor is the cause of lewd actions nor is unseemly for any Sex but baseness vice and lewdnesse invents unhandsome and undecent Arts which dishonours by the practice either Sex Mother Love Come come Husband I will have her bred as usually our Sex is and not after a new fashioned way created out of a self-opiniated that you can alter nature by education No no let me tell you a woman will be a woman do what you can and you may assoon create a new World as change a womans nature and disposition Enter the Lady Sanspareille as to her Father as not thinking her Mother was there Sanspareille O Father I have been in search of you to ask you a question concerning the Sun When she sees her Mother she starts back Mother What have you to do with the Sun and lives in the shade of the Worlds obscuritie Sansp. VVhy Madam where would you have me live can I live in a more serene aire than in my Fathers house or in a purer or clearer light than in my Parents eyes or more splendrous than in my Parents company Mother I would have you live at Court there to have honour favour and grace and not to lose your time ignorantly knowing nothing of the VVorld nor the VVorld of you Sansp. Can I live with more honour than with my Father and You or have more favour than your loves or is there a greater grace than to be Daughter of vertuous Parents can I use or imploy my time better than to obey my Parents commands need I know more than honesty modesty civility and duty As for the VVorld mankind is so partial to each self as they have no faith on the worth of their Neighbour neither doth they take notice of a Stranger but to be taken notice of Mother Love Yes yes your beauty will attract eyes and ears which are the doors to let in good opinion and admiration Sansp. Had I a tongue like a Cerces-wand to charm all ears that heard me it would straight transform men from civil Obligers to spitefull Detractors or false Slanderers my beauty may only serve but as a bribe to tempt men to intrap my youth and to betray my innocency Mother To betray a fools-head of your own Lord Lord how the dispositions of Youth is changed since I was young for before I came to your Age I thought my Parents unnaturall because they did not provide me a Husband Sanspareille If all youth were of my humour their dispositions are changed indeed for Heaven knows it is the only curse I fear a Husband Mother Love Why then you think me curst in Marrying your Father Sansp. No Madam you are blest not only in being a Wife a condition you desired but being marryed to such a man that wishes could not hope for Mother Love Why then my good Fortune may encourage you and raise a hope to get the like Sansp. O no! It rather drives me to dispair beleiving there is no second Mother Love Come come you are an unnatural Child to flatter your Father so much and not me when I endured great pains to breed bear and nurse you up Sansp. I do not flatter Madam for I speak nothing but my thoughts and that which Love and duty doth allow and truth approve of Father Love Come come Wife the Jeerals wit will out-argue both ours Ex. Scene 2. Enter the
a while longer for the Curtezans sake for we shall never get such store nor such choise of Mistrisses therefore though the sober and chaste women are kept up here in Italy yet the wild and wanton are let loose to take their liberty But in Turky that barbarous Country all are kept close those that will as well as those that will not but if they had the custome of Italy to keep up only their honest women it were a Charity for otherwise a man loses his time in Courting those women that will not accept of his love for how should a man know whether women will or will not having all sober faces and demure countenances coy carriages and denying words Frere But yet they consent at last for Importunity and Opportunity 't is said wins the chastest she Friend Faith all the flowry Rhetorick and the most observing times and fittest opportunities and counterfeiting dyings win nothing upon a cold Icy Constitution or an obstinate Morality 't is true it may work some good effect upon an Icy Conscience Enter a man to Monsieur Frere with a Letter Frere From whence comes that Letter Man From France Sir I believe from your Father Exit man He opens it and reads it to himself Friend What News Hath thy Father sent thee money Frere Yes but it is to return home for he hath sent me word my Sister is marry'd to a very rich honest and sweet-natur'd man and that also he would have me come home to marry a rich Heir one that is his Neighbors Daughter for my Father says he desires to see me setled in the World before he dies having but us two my Sister and I Friend Why is he sick that he talks of dying Frere No but he is old and that is more certain of Deaths approach Friend But is your sister marry'd say you Frere Yes Friend Faith I am sorry for 't for I thought to have marry'd her myself Frere Marry she would have had but a wilde Husband if she had marry'd you Friend The thoughts of this Rich Heir make thee speak most precisely as if thou wert the most temperate man in the world when there is none so deboist as thou art Frere Prethee hold thy tongue for I am very discreet Friend Yes to hide thy faults to dissemble thy passions and to compass thy desires but not to abate any of them Well if thy sister had not been marry'd I would have prais'd thee but now I will rail against thee for losers may have leave to talk Frere Why what hopes could you have had to marry her Friend VVhy I was thy Friend and that was hope enough But is thy sister so handsome as Fame reports her Frere I cannot tell for I never saw her since I was a little boy and she a very child I being kept strictly at School and from thence to the University And when I was to travel I went home but then she was at an Ants house a hundred miles from my Fathers house so as I saw her not but I must leave off this discourse unless you 'l return into France with me Friend No faith thou shalt return without me for I will not goe so soon unless my Friends had provided me a rich Heiress to welcom me home but since they have not I mean to stay and entertain my self and time with the plump Venetians Frere Fare thee well Friend and take heed you entertain not a disease Friend Thou speakest as if thou wert a Convertito Exeunt Scene 2. Enter Madam Bonit alone and sits down to work as sowing as she is working Monsieur Malateste her Husband enters Monsieur Malateste You are always at work for what use is it You spend more money in silk cruel thread and the like than all your work is worth Madam Bonit I am now making you bands Malateste Pray let my bands alone for I 'm sure they will be so ill-favour'd as I cannot wear them Bonit Do not condemn them before you have try'd them Malateste You may make them but I wi'l never wear them Bonit Well I will not make them since you dislike it Exeunt Scene 3. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. Come will you go to the Gaming-house 2 Gent. What to do 1 Gent. To play at Cards or the like Games 2 Gent. I will never play at such Games but with women 1 Gent. Why so 2 Gent. Because they are Effeminate Pastimes and not manly Actions neither will I meerly rely upon Fortunes favour without merit as Gamesters do 1 Gent. Why then will you go to a Tavern 2 Gent. For what 1 Gent. To drink 2 Gent. I am not thirsty 1 Gent. But I would have you drink until you are thirsty 2 Gent. That 's to drink drunk 1 Gent. And that 's that I desire to be 2 Gent. What 1 Gent. Why drunk 2 Gent. So do not I for I will not wilfully make my self uncapable as I can neither be able to serve my King Country nor Friend nor defend my Honour for when I am drunk I can do neither for a man drunk I weaker than a child that hath not strength to go or stand and is worse than those that are dumb for the dumb keep silence when those that are drunk doe stutter and stammer out non-sense and make themselves fools besides every Coward will take courage to beat at least affront a man that is drunk when as he dares not look ascue or come near him without respect when he is sober 1 Gent. Come come thou shalt go if it be but to decide our drunken quarrels and allay the wrathful vapour of Bacchus 2 Gent. No I will never decide the disputes of Fool Mad-men Drunkards nor Women for Fools understand no Reason Mad-men have lost their Reason Drunkards will hear no Reason and Women are not capable of Reason 1 Gent. Why are women not capable of Reason 2 Gent. Because it is thought or rather believ'd that women have no rational souls being created out of man and not from Iove as man was 1 Gent. If Iove hath not given them rational fouls I am sure Nature hath given them beautiful bodies with which Iove is enamour'd or else the Poets lye 2 Gent. Poets describe Iove according to their own passions and after their own appetites 1 Gent. Poets are Ioves Priests 2 Gent. And Natures Panders 1 Gent. Well if you will neither go to the Gaming-house Tavern nor Bawdy-house will you go and visit the sociable Virgins 2 Gent. Yes I like sociable Virginity very well But pray what are those sociable Virgins which you would have me go to see 1 Gent. VVhy a company of young Ladies that meet every day to discourse and talk to examine censure and judge of every body and of every thing 2 Gent. 'T is pity if they have not learn'd the rules of Logick if they talk so much that they may talk sense 1 Gent. I will assure you they have voluble Tongues and quick VVits 2 Gent. Let
not be less kind The Bed drawn off the Bridegroom follows the men go out with him as in a maze only Mistris Trifle Vanity and Parle stays Parle Heyday Riddle me riddle me what 's this A man blind and not blind lame and not lame crooked and not crooked ill-favour'd and handsome Trifle 'Faith it is like the Tale of the great Bear of warwick Vanity What Tale was that Trifle Why of a King that had three Daughters and when they were of mariageable years the King their Father ask'd them whether they had rather to have a Husband that were a man a days and a beast at nights or a Husband that was a beast at days and a man at nights and if they would marry they must choose one of those that were sometimes men and sometimes beasts or otherwise they must never marry but they rather than to live old Maids were resolved to marry were their Husbands at all times beasts so the two eldest chose to have their Husbands men a days and beasts at nights for said they we can conceal their beastliness at nights but not a days for the light will divulge them to the publick view of the World but the youngest chose a Husband one that was a beast a days and a man at nights for said she I will please my self not caring what the World thinks or says for I am sure said she the World cares not what I think or say whereupon they were all three maried and the youngest Ladies Husband was a great Bear a days but a very handsome man at nights Parle O that every woman were so well match'd for then they would be always pleased and never jealous for in the day-time when men doe Court and plead Loves Sute and point out private meetings They have no words to wooe nor persons for to win And in the night their Wives their Arms do circle in Trifle But say your Husband the He-bear should meet a Mistris She-bear I believe you would be jealous then Parle I confess I should be somewhat lumpish Enter Mistris Fondly and a Matron Fondly Hey ho Parle VVhat is the cause you sigh Fondly Nature never made so handsome a man as the Bridegroom Matron And you sigh because you are not the Bride Fondly 'Faith the Devil tempts me to break a Commandement Matron VVhat Commandement Fondly To covet my Neighbours goods Parle Why he is no part of your Neighbours goods unless he be a good man Fondly Well he is a goodly man and whether he is a man that is good I cannot tell But howsoever I will never trust the outside more I will never believe a patch'd eye is blind nor a bunch'd back is crooked nor a wooden leg lame as long as I live Parle And if you will not believe it whilst you live when you are dead I doubt you will forget it but howsoever the Devil tempts me as much as you to covet him that 's none of mine Matron Pray Ladies give me leave to remember you in that you said you would not be his Bride were it the way to make you Empress of the whole World Parle 'T is true but then we were blind of one eye as he was but now we see with both our eyes as he doth Fondly Come let us go into the Bride-chamber and out-dare his beauty on the forfeiture of our hearts Parle You need not go to seek Love for he will catch you although you run away Fondly And you will catch Love if with the Bridegroom stay Parle I doubt that Exeunt Scene 41. Enter Sir Thomas Letgo and the Lady Liberty LIberty Let me perswade you to be friends for if you seem to mourn for that which you made slight of and to quarrel unjustly and sight for for that you cannot have nor is not rightly yours you will be thought imprudent shunn'd as a wrangling Gamester and accounted a Ranting Disturber and laught at for a fool for setting such a Mistris at a stake you thought too much to lose but if you will save your Reputation you must seem to rejoyce you are quit of her Letgo Well I will take your counsel and I have this satisfaction That I am not the first man that hath been deceiv'd by Women nor shall not be the last Liberty That 's true and so generally it is known as 't is become an ordinary saying and the saying will be made good as long as mankind lasts for though men may dissemble to women yet it is women that deceive men and we glory in it Exeunt Scene 42. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. Do you hear the News 2 Gent. What News 1 Gent. Why the Bridegroom is prov'd to be the Great Duke of Grandy's Son 2 Gent. How so 1 Gent. Why you have heard that the old Prince of Grandy had two Sons and the younger Son would not be perswaded from going to Travel and it was reported he was drownd in a Voyage by Sea for which his Father mourn'd a long time as loving him extremely and you know to add to his afflictions his Eldest Son dies so as he became as childless until this time that his Son is returned safe for which he is the most joy'd man that ever was and is so fond of the Prince his Son as he continually imbraces and kisses him and hangs about his neck like a fond Bride 2 Gent. Why did he come so privately and in a disguise 1 Gent. As for his private comming home the reason was That having oftentimes ask'd the Magor to return into his own Country and being as often deny'd and at last threaten'd to be destroy'd if he should offer to go away and quit the Magor's Service for this Prince was General of all his Forces and was the man that the Merchants cry'd up to be another Iulius Caesar although they knew not of what birth or quality he was of but to get away he was forc'd to steal away in a disguise in which disguise he wooed and won his Lady the now Princess for whilst he lay privately in the City until such time as he could hansomly conveniently discover himself he hearing the talk of the Publick Wooing and also of the Virtue Beauty and Wit of the young Lady went to hear and to see her whom he no sooner heard and saw and being taken with her good Fame honouring her Virtue admiring her Beauty and being extremely delighted with her Wit became a Lover and also a VVooer but for the better trial of her Virtue he wooed her in his disguised deformed shape and unknown quality left his Dignity and VVealth might have inticed her Ambition and not his Merit to have won her Love or his Person might have catch'd her Eye but not his Love her Heart 2 Gent. The Gods are just rewarding in the end the good intentions with good success and Virtue with felicity Exeunt Scene 43. Enter the Bridegroom according to his Dignity as being a Prince richly cloathed and honourably attended with Gentlemen
him to stir out no not so much as out his Lodgings but that 's not all for they will not suffer him to think for their Tongues disturb all his Meditations the one fills his Ears and Head with promises the other rants in threats the Prince strives to hire him with Wealth and Honour to marry his Neece and his Father stands ready if he denyes to load him with Curses 2 Man The Princes Hire will sooner bring him to consent than the Fathers Load Exeunt Scene 15. Enter Father and Son LOrd Dorato Son if you disobey my commands concerning this marriage as to refuse it by heavens fair light I swear I will load you with so many Curses as shall sink you down to Hell The Father goes out Lord Melancholy alone Lord Melancholy By Heavens fair light I swear I wish I were covered with the darkness of Death but my Fathers Curses may exclude me from Heavens blessings Enter a Servant Servant My Lord your Father desires your presence Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Mistriss Odd-Humour and her Maid Nan MIstriss Odd-Humour O Nan I have had such a misfortune as never was Nan What misfortune Mistriss Odd-Humour Why I was sitting in that little Chair you know I take delight to sit in and was singing of Ballads not expecting that any stranger would come into my Chamber without my notice but as I was sitting and singing in comes my Father and the Gentleman you told me of that was to be my Husband whereat I was so surprized as I forgot the Chair was so little I could not readily part from it I started up in a fright and run away the Chair being so little in the seat stood so close to me as it went a-long with me and my back being towards my Father and the Gentleman saw the Chair as it stuck to me the Gentleman seeing the Chair hanging there told my Father that he perceived that I his Daughter was of so lazy a Nature that rather than stay or want a seat I would have a Chair tyed to my breech whereupon he hath broak the agreement he made with my Father and my Father for anger hath vowed to break or burn my Chair O Nan what shall I do to save my Chair for to lose both Chair and Husband will be too great a loss Nan Which had you rather lose the Gentleman or the Chair Mistriss Odd-Humour O the Gentleman Nan for he will not do me half so much service as the Chair hath done me he will never bear with me as the Chair hath bore me and I perceive by his she humour and Courteous Nature that he would sooner break my head with a Chair than ease my hips with a Seat therefore good Nan devise some way to save my Chair from Execution and the fates I hope as a blessing to me have made the Chair a means to break the marriage betwixt this Gentleman and me Nan It seems he loves an active wife Mistriss Odd-Humour Faith all Fools love busy women Nan The best way is to speak to your Mother to pacify your Father Mistriss Odd-Humour I will take your advice Exeunt Scene 17. Enter the Lady Perfection LAdy Perfection And is he married Heavens send him joy and me patience Heaven Crown his life with Happiness and mine with Peace and may he have posterity that may live long and flourish high that may keep alive his memory though I should be forgotten in the grave yet Heaven grant his fame may live eternally Enter Lady Gravity Lady Gravity Daughter have you heard of your Husbands marriage Lady Perfection Yes Madam Lady Gravity 'T is reported that the Princess whom he is married to is ill-favoured foolish and peevish Lady Perfection He is too wise to consider outward favour and for wit he hath enough for himself and his wife and his sweet and noble Nature and behaviour will equalize her peevish humour Lady Gravity There are Balls Masks and Playes to be extraordinary for the joy of this marriage wherefore Daughter I desire you to adorn your self and appear in those Assemblyes Lady Perfection I shall obey you Madam Exeunt Scene 18. Enter Lord Melancholy and an old Servant of his SErvant I wonder your Lordship should be so Melancholy that hath wealth at will it is enough for such poor men as I to be Melancholy Lord Melancholy I would thou hadst my wealth so I had thy freedome Servant O Sir there is no Freedome in Poverry Lord Melancholy Nor no Poverty in Freedome for freedome is the wealth of the Gods Servant If it pleased the Gods would I was bound to Riches Lord Melancholy I wish thou wert so I was free of my Princesses Shackels Exeunt Scene 19. Enter Sir Thomas Gravity and his Lady LAdy Husband the Arch-Prince hath sent a Messenger to give us notice he will come and visit my Daughter Sir Thomas Gravity I hear he is much enamored with your Daughters Beauty since he saw her at the last Ball Lady I will go to her and make her dress her self fine to entertain him Sir Thomas Gravity Her Beauty is bravery enough wherefore she needs no other adornment but what Nature hath drest her in Lady But Art gives additions Exeunt Scene 20. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. The Emperor I hear is sending Embassadors to the Arch-Prince to treat of a marriage betwixt the Arch-Prince and the Emperors Daughter 2 Gent. The report is that she is a fair and Virtuous Lady and the Prince will have great advantages by the alliance with the Emperour 1 Gent. He will so wherefore I hope and pray that the match may be for the good of this Kingdome Exeunt Scene 21. Enter the Arch-Prince and the Lady Perfection ARch-Prince Fair Lady grant me your love and I will ask no more but what accompanyes it your person which I will make an equal to my self Lady Perfection Gracious Sir had I a Virgins Love and Person pure to equal it I would present it to your Highness but both my Love and Person have been wedded unto another man and though the Law hath made a divorce yet Death hath not dissolved the marriage Arch-Prince Heaven hath given you Virtue which keeps your person pure and like a precious Diamond doth remain for though it hath or should have several purchasers yet doth it lose nothing of its value or worth and though you have been wedded to another man your Virtuons Chastity is still as pure as in your Virgins Estate and by the Laws your person is set free and for the Love you gave may be called back or drawn away since 't is not entertained Lady Perfection 'T is true I am Chast and so I will remain and though the law hath set my person free my conscience is not yet at liberty nor will that love I gave away return no more than life that 's past rise from the Urn wherefore most noble Sir ask me not for that which I have not to give you Arch-Prince Equal
Studious How not to go nor to go no more would you desire me from that which you perswaded me to Nay so much as I could never be quiet disturbing my harmless studies and happy mind crossing my pleasing thoughts with complaining words but I perceive you grow jealouse and now you are acquainted you have no more use of me but would be glad to quit my company that you may be more free abroad Lady Ignorance No Husband truely I will never go abroad but will inancor my self in my own house so you will stay at home and be as you were before for I see my own follies and am ashamed of my self that you should prove me such a fool Sir P. Studious Do you think me so wise and temperate a man as I can on a sudden quit vain pleasures and lawfull follies Lady Ignorance Yes or else you have studied to little purpose Sir P. Studious Well for this day I will stay at home and for the future time I will consider Exeunt Scene 20. Enter two Servants of the Generals I. Servant This boy that came but the other day hath got more of my Lords affection than we that have served him this many years 2. Servant New-comers are alwaies more favoured than old waiters for Masters regards old Servants no more than the Imagerie in an old suit of Hanging which are grown threed-bare with time and out of fashion with change Besides new Servants are more industrious and diligent than old but when he hath been here a little while he will be as lazie as the rest and then he will be as we are I. Servant I perceive my Lord delights to hear him talk for he will listen very a tentively to him but when we offer to speak he bids us to be silent 2. Servant I wonder he should for when we speak it is with gravity and our discourse is sententious but his is meer squibs Enter Affectionata Affectionata Gentlemen my Lord would have one of you to come to him I. Servant Why I thought you could supply all our places for when you are with him he seems to have no use of us Affectionata It shall not be for want of will but ability if I do not serve him in every honest office I. Servant So you will make some of us knaves Affectionata I cannot make you knaves unless you be willing to be knaves your selves 2. Servant What do you call me knave Affectionata I do not call you so Ex. 2. Servant Well I will be revenged if I live Ex. Scene 21. Enter the Lady Bashfull and Reformer her woman REformer Madam I have inquired what this Sir Serious Dumb is and 't is said he is one of the finest Gentlemen in this Kingdom and that his valour hath been proved in the wars and that he is one that is very active and dexterous in all manly exercises as riding fencing vaulting swimming and the like Also that he is full of inventions and a rare Poet and that he hath a great Estate only that he is dumb and hath been so this twelve years and upwards Lady Bashfull Reformer What makes you so industrious to inquire after him surely thou art in love within Reformer In my conscience I liked him very well when he was to see you Lady Bashfull The truth is he cannot weary you with words nor anger you in his discourse but pray do not inquire after him nor speak of him for people will think I have some designe of marriage Reformer I shall obey you Madam Exeunt Scene 22. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata He strokes Affectionata's head LOrd Singularity Affectionata Thou art one of the diligent'st boys that had Affectionata How can I be otherwise Sir since you are the Governour of my soul that commands the Fort of my passion and the Castle of my imaginations which are the heart and the head Lord Singularity Do you love me so much Affectionata So well my Lord as you are the archetectour of my mind the foundation of my thoughts and the gates of my memories for your will is the form your happiness the level and your actions the treasurie Lord Singularity Thy wit delights me more than thy flattery perswades for I cannot believe a boy can love so much Besides you have not served me so long as to beget love Affectionata I have loved you from my infancy for as I suck'd life from my Nurses breast so did I Love from fames drawing your praises forth as I did milk which nourished my affections Lord Singularity I shall strive boy to require thy love Affectionata To requite is to return love for love Lord Singul. By Heaven I love thee as a Father loves a son Affectionata Then I am blest Exeunt Scene 23. Enter two Souldiers 1. SOuldier What is this boy that our General is so taken with 2. Souldier A poor Begger-boy 1. Souldier Can a poor Begger-boy merit his affections 2. Souldier He is a pretty boy and waites very diligently 1. Souldier So doth other boys as well as he but I believe he is a young Pimp and carries and conveys Love-letters 2. Souldier Like enough to for boys are strangely crafty in those imployments and so industrious as they will let no times nor opportunities slip them but they will find waies to deliver their Letters and messages Exeunt Scene 24. Enter the Lady Bashfulls Page and Sir Serious Dumb who gives a Note to the Page to read PAge Sir I dare not direct you to my Lady as you desire me in this Note and if I should tell her here is a Gentleman that desired to visit her she would refuse your visit Dumb gives the young Page four or five pieces of Gold Page I will direct you to the room wherein my Lady is but I must not be seen nor confess I shewed you the way Page and Sir Serious Dumb Exeunt Scene 25. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata LOrd Singularity Come Affectionata sit down and entertain me with thy sweet discourse which makes all other company troublesome and tedious to me thine only doth delight me Affectionata My Noble Lord I wish the plat-form of my brain were a Garden of wit and then perchance my tongue might present your Excellencies with a Posie of flowery Rhethorick but my poor brain is barren wanting Lord Singularity Thou hast an eloquent tongue and a gentle soul Affectionata My Noble Lord I have hardly learn'd my native words much less the eloquence of Language and as for the souls of all mankind they are like Common-wealths where the several vertues and good graces are the Citizens therein and the natural subjects thereof but vices and follies as the thievish Borderers and Neighbour-enemies which makes inrodes factions mutinies intrudes and usurps Authority and if the follies be more than the good graces and the vices too strong for the vertues the Monarchy of a good life falls to ruine also it is indangered by Civil-wars amongst the passions Lord Singularity What
protestations and it is generous to cherish their health to attend them in their sickness to comply with their harmless humours to entertain their discourses to accompany their persons to yield to their lawfull desires and to commend their good graces and that man which is a Husband and doth not do thus is worthy to be shamed and not to be kept company with which is not called an Uxorious Husband for said I an Uxorious Husband I understand to be a honest carefull and wise Husband Lady Ignorance And what said they after you said this Sir P. Studious They laugh'd and said my flowery Rhetorick was strewed upon a dirty ground I answered it was not dirty where I lived for my wife was beautifull chaste and cleanly and I wished every man the like and after they perceived that neither the railing nor laughing at good Husbands could not temper me for their palats they began to play and sport with one another and sung wanton songs and when all their baits failed they quarreled with me and said I was uncivil and that I did not entertain them well and that I was not good Company having not a conversable wit nor a gentle behaviour and that I was not a gallant Cavalier and a world of those reproches and idle discourses as it would tire me to repeat it and you to hear it Lady Ignorance Pray resolve me one question more what was it you said to the Lady Amorous when she threatned to tell me Sir P. Studious I only said nature was unkind to our Sex in making the beautifull females cruel Lady Ignorance Was that all I thought you had pleaded as a courtly Sutor for loves favours Sir P. Studious No indeed but let me tell you and so inform you wife that those humour'd women take as great a pleasure to make wives jealouse of their Husbands and Husbands jealouse of their wives and to seperate their affections and to make a disorder in their Families as to plot and design to intice men to court them Cuckold their Husband also let me tell you that much company and continual resort brings great inconveniences for its apt to corrupt the mind and make the thoughts wild the behaviour bold the words vain the discourse either flattering rude or tedious their actions extravagant their persons cheap being commonly occompanyed or their company common Besides much variety of Company creates amorous luxurie vanity prodigality jealousie envie malice slander envie treachery quarrels revenge and many other evils as laying plots to insnare the Honourable to accuse the Innocent to deceive the Honest to corrupt the Chaste to deboyst the Temperate to pick the purse of the Rich to inslave the poor to pull down lawfull Authority and to break just Laws but when a man lives to himself within his own Familie and without recourse after a solitary manner he lives free without controul not troubled with company but entertains himself with himself which makes the soul wise the mind sober the thoughts industrious the understanding learned the heart honest the senses quiet the appetites temperate the body healthfull the actions just and prudent the behaviour civil and sober He governs orderly eats peaceably sleeps quietly lives contentedly and most commonly plentifully and pleasantly ruling and governing his little Family to his own humour wherein he commands with love and is obeyed with duty and who that is wise and is not mad would quit this heavenly life to live in hellish Societies and what can an honest Husband and wife desire more than love peace and plenty and when they have this and is not content 't is a sign they stand upon a Quagmire or rotten Foundation that will never hold or indure that is they are neither grounded on honesty nor supported with honour Lady Ignorance Well Husband I will not interupt your studies any longer but as you study Phylosophie Wisdom and Invention so I will study obedience discretion and Houswifery Omnes Exeunt ACT III Scene 15. Enter the General and Affectionata LOrd Singularity Affectionata Were you never bred to the Discipline of War Affectionata Never my Lord but what I have been since I came to you Lord Singularity Why thou didst speak at the Council of War as if thou hadst been an old experienced souldier having had the practice of fourty years which did so astonish the grave Senators and old Souldiers that they grew dumb and for a while did only gaze on thee Affectionata Indeed my Lord my young years and your grave Counsel did not suit together Lord Singularity But let me tell thee my boy thy rational and wise speeches and that grave counsels was not mis-match'd Affectionata Pray Heaven I may prove so as your favours and your love may not be thought misplaced Lord Singularity My Love thinks thee worthy of more than I can give thee had I more power than Caesar had Exeunt Scene 16. Enter some Commanders 1. COmmander I hear that the Duke of Venice is so taken with our Generals adopted Son as he will adopt him his Son 2. Commander Hay-day I have heard that a Father hath had many Sons but never that one Son hath had so many Fathers but contrary many Sons wants fathering 3. Commander 'T is true some Sons hath the misfortune not to be owned but let me tell you Lieutenant there be few children that hath not many such Fathers as one begets a childe a second owns the childe a third keeps the childe which inherits as the right Heir and if a fourth will adopt the childe a fift or more may do the like if they please 1. Commander So amongst all his Fathers the right Father is lost 3. Commander Faith the right Father of any childe is seldome known by reason that women takes as much delight in deceiving the World and dissembling with particular men as in the cuckolding their Husbands 2. Commander The truth is every several Lover cuckolds one another 1. Commander Perchance that is the reason that women strives to have so many Lovers for women takes pleasure to make Cuckolds 3. Commander And Cuckolds to own children Exeunt Scene 17. Enter Affectionata then enters to him two or three Venetian Gentlemen as Embassadors from the Duke of Venice 1. GEntleman Noble Sir the great Duke of Venice hath sent us to let you know he hath adopted you his Son and desires your company Affectionata Pray return the great Duke thanks and tell him those favours are too great for such a one as I but if he could and would adopt me as Augustus Caesar did Tiberius and make me master of the whole World by Heaven I would refuse it and rather chose to live in a poor Cottage with my most Noble Lord 2. Gentleman But you must not deny him Besides he will have you Affectionata I will dye first and rather chose to bury my self in my own tears than build a Throne with ingratitude 1. Gentleman But it is ungratefull to deny the Duke
Doctor help may be found in giving directions and ordering the cordial Doctor So I understand you would have my counsel what you should do and my industry to order and get a meeting between Monsieur Discretion and you and to make the match betwixt you Volante You understand me right Doctor VVell I will study the means and trye if I can procure thee a man Volante Good fortune be your guide Doctor And Monsieur Discretion your Husband Ex. Scene 41. Enter Madamosel Caprisia alone CApris. Thoughts be at rest for since my love is honest and the person I love worthy I may love honourably for he is not only learned with study experienced with time and practice but he is natures favourite she hath endued his soul with uncontrouled reason his mind with noble thoughts his heart with heroick generosity and his brain with a supream wit Besides she hath presented his judgement and understanding with such a clear Prospective-glasse of speculations and such a Multiplying-glass of conception as he seeth farther and discerns more into natures works than any man she hath made before him She slops a little time then speaks But let me consider I have us'd this worthy Gentleman uncivilly nay rudely I have dispised him wherefore he cannot love me for nature abhors neglect and if he cannot love me in honesty he ought not to marry me and if I be not his wife for certain I shall dye for love or live a most unhappy life which is far worse than death Hay ho Enter Madam la Mere her Mother Mere What Daughter sick with love Capris. O Mother love is a Tyrant which never lets the mind be at rest and the thoughts are the torments and when the mind is tormented the body is seldom in health Mere Well to ease you I will go to this Lord Generosity and pray him to give you a visit Capris. By no means Mother for I had rather dye with love than live to be despised with scorn for he will refuse your desires or if he should come it would be but to express his hate or proudly triumph on my unhappy state Madamosel Caprisia goes out Madamosel Mere alone Mere She is most desperately in love but I will endeavour to settle her mind Ex. Scene 42. Enter Doctor Freedom and Madamosel Volante DOctor Am not I a good Doctor now that hath got you a good Husband Volante Nay Doctor he is but a Suiter as yet Doctor Why do not you woe upon the Stage as the rest of your Comorades doth Volante O fye Doctor Discretion never whines our love in publick Doctor So you love to be in private Volante Why Doctor the purest love is most conceal'd it lyes in the heart and it warms it self by its own fire Doctor Take heed for if you keep it too tenderly and close it may chance to catch cold when it comes abroad Volante True love ought to keep home and not to gossip abroad Enter a Servant-maid Servant-maid Madam Monsieur Discretion is come to visit you Volante Come Doctor be a witnesse of our contract Doctor I had rather stay with your maid Volante She hath not wit to entertain you Doctor Nor none to anger me Volante Pray come away for no wise man is angry with wit Doctor I perceive if I do not go with you that you will call me fool Ex. Scene 43. Enter Monsieur Comorade and Monsieur Bon Compaignon BOn Compaignon Comorade what cause makes you so fine to day Comorade I am going to two weddings to day Bon Compaignon Faith one had been enough but how can you divide yourself betwixt two Bridals Comorade I shall not need to divide my self since the Bridals keeps together for they are marryed both in one Church and by one Priest and they feast in one house Bon Compaignon And will they lye in one bed Comorade No surely they will have two beds for fear each Bride-groom should mistake his Bride Bon Compaignon VVell I wish the Bride-grooms and their Brides joy and their Guests good chear Comorade VVill not you be one of the Guests Bon Compaignon No for a Bon Compaignon shuns Hymens Court neither will Hymen entertain him But who are the Brides and Bride-grooms Comorade Monsieur Nobilissimo and Madamosel Doltche and Monsieur Perfection and Madamosel Solid Bon Compaignon Is Monsieur Profession a Guest there Comorade No for he swears now that he hates marriage as he hates death Bon Compaignon But he loves a Mistress as he loves life Ex. Scene 44. Enter Monsieur Generosity and Madamosel Caprisia he following her GEnerosity Lady why do you shun my company in going from me praystay and give my visit a civil entertainment for though I am not worthy of your affection yet my love deserves you civility Capris. I know you are come to laugh at me which is ignobly done for heroick generous spirits doth not triumph on the weak effeminate Sex Generosity Pray believe I am a Gentleman for if I loved you not yet I would never be rude to be uncivil to you or your Sex But I love you so well as when I leave to serve you with my life may nature leave to nourish me fortune leave to favour me and Heaven leave to blesse me and then let death cast me into Hell there to be tormented Capris. I am more obliged to your generous affections than to my own merits Generosity The ill opinion of your self doth not lessen your vertues and if you think me worthy to be your Husband and will agree we will go strait to Church and be marryed Capri. I shall not refuse you Ex. FINIS PROLOGUE THE Poetress sayes that if the Play be bad She 's very sorry and could wish she had A better plot more wit and skill to make A Play that might each several humour take But she sayes if your humours are not fixt Or that they are extravagantly mixt Impossible a Play for to present With such variety and temperiment But some will think it tedious or find fault Say the Design or Language is stark naught Besides the loose unsetled brains she fears Seeth with squint eyes and hears with Asses ears But she is confident all in this round Their understandings clear and judgements sound And if her Play deserves not praise she knows They 'l neither scoff in words nor preposterous shows Without disturbance you will let it dye And in the Grave of silence let it lye Youths Glory and Deaths Banquet THE FIRST PART 1. THe Lord de L'amour 2. Sir Thomas Father Love 3. Master Comfort Sir Thomas Father Loves Friend 4. Master Charity the Lord de L'amours Friend 5. Adviser the Lord de L'amours man 6. A Iustice of Peace 1. The Queen Attention 2. The Lady Incontinent Mistriss to the Lord de L'amour 3. The Lady Mother Love wife to Sir Thomas Father Love 4. The Lady Sanparelle daughter to Sir Thomas Father and Lady Mother Love 5. The Lady Innocence the affianced Mistriss
out Here ends my Lord Marquesses FINIS This written by my Lord Marquess THE SECOND PART OF Youths Glory and Deaths Banquet ACT I. Scene 2. Enter the Lord de l'Amour and the Lady Innocence the Lord de l'Amour seems to appear angry LAdy Innocence My Lord what makes you frown on me surely I never willingly offended you Lord de l'Amour But the report I hear of you offends me Lady Innocence I hope my behaviour is not lyable to any aspertion or evil censure for as you have used me civily so I have behaved my self modestly Lord de l'Amour I perceive you are a subtil insinuating young Lady Lady Innocence Think me not subtil for being so brod as not to slight your Love not so uncivil as to scorn your noble favours but strive to merit your worthy affections but if I have erred in my endeavours pray pardon me and if you please to tell me my errour I shall rectify it Lord de l'Amour I hear you will speak more lyes than tell truths Lady Innocence Truly I am too strict a Votary to truth to tell a lye Lord de l'Amour I should be glad you were vowed one of her Order Lady Innocence I am so and have taken the habit of sincerity upon me Lord de l'Amour Tell me truly do you never use to lye Lady Innocence If you have opinion that I never or seldome speak truth let me say what I will you will still believe it is a lye but truly I did never tell a lye as I do know of but did alwayes speak truth Lord de l'Amour I hear to my great grief you have many faults pray mend them Lady Innocence I am sory there are so many ill reports or rather aspersions laid on me as to grieve you but surely youth cannot commit many faults but Age that hath had time to commit faults in but if you can believe my faults surmounts not all accounts I shall desire to know them Lord de l'Amour Examine yourself and you will find them Lady Innocence I shall call a particular Councel and make a General search and what thoughts words or actions I can find guilty or prove Criminal I shall condemn and sacrifice them on the Altar of Repentance and crave mercy and forgiveness Lord de l'Amour Pray do so Ex. Lady Innocence alone 'T is strange his humour should be so suddenly changed from loving professions kind expressions and pleasing smiles to sharp words and angry frowns and that he should seem to love me as much as he did now to believe me so little as it seems he doth I hope it is only the superfluities of his affections that runs into the indiscretion of jealousie Ex. Enter Sanspareile and her Audience As soon as she hath taken her standing place A Messenger Enters Messenger The Queen of Attention is come to be one of your Audience The Company makes a bustle Enter the Queen of Attention and her Train Sir Thomas Father Love kneels down and kisses her hand Queen I am come to hear and see your Daughter whom fame reports to be the wonder of this Age Father It had been more proper and fit for my Daughter to have waited at your Court-Gates untill your Majesty had comanded her into your presence than for your Majesty to come hither to hear and see her but she being a plain bred girle durst not be so bold Queen If your Daughters wit be answerable to her beauty she is a wonder indeed Sanspareile comes off from the place where she stands and makes 3. Obeysances and coming near kneels down and kisses the Queens hand Lady Sanspareile Madam this gracious honour and honourable grace is beyond the management of my young years the evil of my weak confidence and the compass of my little wit and my obscure breeding hath made me so Ignorant that I know not in what manner I should behave or address myself towards your Majesty but if I commit faults in misbehaviour pray impute it to my ignorant youth and not to disobedience Queen I see nothing yet in your behaviour but that you may be not only a pattern for young but also for grave Age to take example from Sanspareile Madam the generosity of your Maiesties Nature the Magnificence of your Majesties mind and the Charity of your Majesties disposition gives an overflowing commendation like to the goodness of the Gods that gives more to the Creature than the Creature can deserve Queen Let me tell you young Lady your speeches are as pleasing to the eare as your beauty is delightfull to the eye Sanspareile Your Majesty is like a Deity can turn or translate words like poor Mortals into a glorified sence like as into a glorified body Queen Sir Thomas Father Love if your Daughter speak at all times and alwayes so eloquently I should not wonder you let her speak in publick Father I beseech your Majesty that you will rather judge me an over fond Father which is natural than a vain opiniatour in that I give her liberty to speak in publick Queen If it were a vanity it might be well forgiven but pray let me hear her speak Sanspareile makes three obeysances as she steps back from the Queen to her standing-place and then ascends Sanspareile Great Queen I nor no other should offer or dare to speak before or to such Supreme persons as your Majesty without a sore premeditation for the words and behaviours of speakers should be fitted to the degrees and qualities Powers Offices and Authorities of the Auditory But your Majesties commands makes that an obedient duty that would otherwayes be a presumption wherefore on the ground of duty I speak at this time before your Majesty but the Royalty of your person the brightnesse of your beauty the fame of your vertues and the glorious splendour of your Majestical Grandeur hath so amazed me that my understanding is as it were blind which will cause my tongue to stagger and my words to run stumbling out of my mouth but I hope your Justice will pardon them For as Divine Justice belongs to the Gods moral Justice to Nature so humane Justice to Monarchial Princes which justice is weighed and measured out according to merit or desert be they good or bad For which Justice Gods and Princes are both feared and loved and Justice is the chief Pillar or upholder of Monarchical States and Common-wealths for without Justice there can be no Government and without Government there can be no Rule and without Rule there can be no peace and where peace is not there will be warrs and warrs causeth ruine and destruction But for the most part those Kingdomes that have arrived to the height of Glory declines or falls to ruine The reason is that a low condition is necessitated and weak wherefore they seek for help to strengthen themselves which makes or rather forces every particular person to associate unite either by Laws of Covenants to which they submit
mankind Oh! Oh! that these Melancholy damps arising from my afflicted Soul could extinguish the Lamp of life or that my sad and grieved thoughts that feed upon my troubled Spirits could bite with sorrows teeth the thread of life asunder She sits down on the ground leaning her Cheek on her hand and weeps Enter to her her Maid Passive Passive My sweet Mistriss why do you weep Lady Innocence The spring of grief doth send forth streams of tears to wash off my disgrace and the foul spots which slandring tongues have stain'd or rather slain'd my reputation for which my eyes did they not weep would seem unnaturally unkind but my dead reputation is imbalm'd with salt tears bitter groans shrowded in sorrows and intomb'd in misery Passive My dear Lady you are imbalm'd with the pretious gums of Virtue and sweet spices of wit wrapt up in youth and beauty and are intombed or rather inthroned in honest hearts wherefore waste not your self with grief for certainly the world will condemn your Accusers and not you Lady Innocence Those feeble hopes cannot my spirits uphold they give no light of comfort to my mind for black despair like Melancholy night mustles my thoughts and makes my Soul as blind O but why do I thus mourn in sad complaints and do not curse Fortune Fates and destiny their Wheels there spindel threads and Chains She heaves up her hands and lifts up her eyes May Nature great turn all again to nought That nothing may with joy receive a thought She goes out in a very Melancholy posture Passive alone She is deeply Melancholy Heavens ease her mind Ex. Scene 12. Enter 2. or 3. Doctors 1. DOctor The Lady Sanspareile cannot live for the hath no pulse 2. Doctor No she is descending to the grave 3. Doctor But had we best tell her Father so 1. Doctor No by no means as yet 2. Doctor Why not he will know when she is dead Enter the Lady Mother Love as to the Doctors Lady Mother Love Mr. Doctors What do you mean to let my Daughter dye will you not prescribe something to give her 1. Doctor Madam we shall do our best you may be confident Lady Mother What if you prescribed a Glister or a Purge 1. Doctor I shall not need Madam Lady Mother Why if any one be sick they ought to have some remedies applyed to them 2. Doctor We shall consider what course is best to be taken Lady Mother Love For Gods sake do not neglect her Ex. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love to the Doctors Sir Thomas Father Love Mr. Doctors what is your opinion of my Daughter 1. Doctor Truly Sir she is very dangerous sick Sir Thomas Father Love I can find no pulse she hath 2. Doctor Nor we Sir that makes us doubt her Father Love Pray consult about her what is best to be done 1. Doctor We shall Sir Ex. Scene 13. Enter the Lord de l'Amour and the Lady Innocence LOrd de l'Amour What makes you look so gastly pale Lady Innocence I am so ashamed of my accusation as my bashfullness is beyond all blushing as greatest griefs are beyond all tears it causes my limbs to tremble face look pale like Death's assault making my courage fail Lord de l'Amour Perchance you are asham'd to confess so base a crime you may confess to me for I shall strive to hide your faults and cover them with some excuse wherefore confess for though it be a fault to steal yet it is a double fault to hide it with a Lye and by these crimes you do offend the Gods nor will their anger be remov'd unless you confess and ask pardon Lady Innocence Your Doctrine is very good and Application well applied had I been Guilty but being Innocent they are vainly uttered Lord de l'Amour I hope you will agree to resign the interest you have to me if I should desire you Lady Innocence Saints never offred up their Souls to God more willingly than I all interest to you not but that I love you yet I should be loath to be bound to one that hath so ill an opinion of me as you have Lord de l'Amour The World would condemn me if I should marry you to stain my Posterity with your Crimes Lady Innocence O Heavens is my scandal of so deep a dye as to stain Predecessors and Posterity yours may avoid it but my Predecessors are spotted all over She goes out weeping Lord de l'Amour I cannot chuse but love her although I fear she is guilty but I perceive she is resolv'd not to confess as being asham'd of it Ex. Scene 14. Enter the Lady Sanspareile in a bed as being sick the bed drawn on the stage and her Father kneels by the bed-side whilst she speaks as dying SAnspareile Let spotless Virgins bear me to my grave and holy Anthems sing before my Herse and soft-toucht Instruments to play the while and keep just time with tears that trickling fall from the sad eyes of my most sorrowful friends and one my Coffin spread upon a covering of smooth Sattin white to signify here how I lived a Virgin pure I lived and dyed and let my works which I have wrought and spun out of my brain be given to times Library to keep alive my name And set a Lilly-Garland on my Herse On every leaf therein stick on a verse And when my Coffin to the grave you bring Let Poets on my Herse some verses fling For whilst I liv'd I worship'd Nature great And Poets are by Nature favoured I in the Muses Arms desire to Dye For I was bred up in their Company And my request 's to them when I am dead I may amongst them be remembered But death drawes near my destiny is come Father farewell may time take up my years which death cuts off and add them to your life Peace keep your mind and Comfort give you rest He weeps But why do you weep dear Father my life 's not worth your tears yet Heavens doe weep and mingle with dull earth their Cristal streams and earth 's refresht thereby so is not death for death is ever dry Father O Child O Child my heart will break Sanspareile Sir why do you sigh and groan and grieve that I must dye life is perpetual and death is but a change of shape Only I wish that Death may order it so That from your rootes I may your flower grow I fear not Death nor am I loath to dye Yet I am loath to leave your Company But O the Muses stay my dying lips to close Farewel Dyes Her Father starts up from her Bed-side and stares about the Bed and the dead Lady is drawn off the stage Father What art thou sted dear Soul where dost thou goe stay and I will bear thee Company Stares about Where art thou Soul why mak'st thou such great haste I pray thee stay and take thy aged Fathers Soul along with thee left it should wander in the dark and gloomy
shades to find thee out O! O death quick dispatch Let me unprisoned be my body is old decayed and worn times ruins shews it Oh! Oh! let life fall for pitty pull it down stops a time Am I not dead you cruel powers above to lengthen out an old mans life in misery and pain why did not Time put out the sight of both my eyes and also deaf my ears that I might neither hear nor see the death of my lifes joy O Luxurious Death how greedily thou feedst on youth and beauty and leist old Age hang withering on lifes tree O shake me off let me no longer grow if not grief shall by force snip off my tender stalk and pitty lay me in the silent grave Heark Heark I hear her call me I come I come Childe He feches a great sigh O no she is gone she is gone I saw her dead her head hung down like as a Lilly whose stalk was broke by some rude blusterous wind He stares about There there I see her on her dutious knee Her humble eyes cast to the ground Her spotlesse hands held up for blessings crave asking forgivenesse for faults not done O no She is dead She is dead I saw her eye-lids cloze like watry Clouds which joyn to shut out the bright Sun and felt her hands which Death made cold and numb like as to Cristal balls She is gone she is gone and restless grows my mind thoughts strive with thoughts struggle in my brain passions with passions in my heart make War My Spirits run like furies all about Help help for Heavens sake and let life out Ex. Scene 15. Enter the Lady Mother Love alone LAdy Mother Love O my daughter my daughter is dead she is dead Oh that ever I was born to bear a Childe to dye before me Oh she was the Comfort of my Heart the pleasure of my Eyes the delight of my life Oh she was Good she was Sweet she was Fair O what shall I do what shall I do Ex. Scene 16. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love half distracted SIr Thomas Father Love Mercury lend me thy winged feet that I may fly to Heaven there to observe how all the Gods and Godesses doe gaze upon my Beautiful Childe for she is fairer than the light that great Apollo gives and her discourse more ravishing than the Musick of the Spheres but as soon as she sees me she will leave them all and run unto me as she used to do kneeling will kiss my hands which she must not do being a Goddess and I a Mortal wherefore I must kneel to her and carry her an offering but what shall the offering be Let me think Why I will kneel and offer up my Aged life unto her Memory but now I think of it better I cannot dye in Heaven wherefore let me Study let me Study what she did love best when she lived upon the Earth O I now remember when I did ask her what she lov'd best she would Answer her Father and her Fame but I believe if she were here it would be a hard Question for her to resolve which she preferr'd and being not to be separated in Affection we will not part in our Resurrection wherefore Mercury farewel for I will fly up with the Wings of her good Fame And carry up her Wit and there will strow It on Heavens floor as bright as Stars will show Her Innocency shall make new Milky waies Her Virtue shall Create new Worlds to praise Her never-dying Name Ha Ho! It shall be so it shall be so Ex. ACT IV. Scene 17. Enter the Lady Innocence alone studious with her eyes to the ground thou casting them up speaks LAdy Innocence I am not so much in love with the World as to desire to live nor have I offended Heaven so much as to be afraid to dye then way should I prolong my life when Honour bids me dye for what Noble Soul had not rather part with the Body than live in Infamy Then t is not Death that affrights me and yet I find my Soul is loath to leave its bodily Mansion but O to be buried in Oblivions grave is all I fear no Monumental Fame nor famous Monument my Soul displeases that makes it loath to leave the body in forgotten dust whilst it doth sadly wander in the Aire She walks a turn or two as in a musing thought then speaks Soul be at ease for the Memory of the dead is but like a dying Beauty vades by degrees or like a Flower whither'd hath neither Sent Colour nor Tast but moulders into dust so hath the mind no form of what is past But like as formless heaps those Objects lye And are intomb'd in the dark Memory O Foolish Vanity to be so much a slave to Fame since those that Fame doth love the best and favoureth most are not Eternal Wherefore Nature perswades me to release my woe Though foolish Superstition Natures foe Forbids it yet Reason aloud sayes dye Since Ease Peace Rest doth in the grave still lye Walkes about as in a silent musing then speaks I am resolv'd then Come sweet Death thou friend that never fails give me my liberty But stay my hasty resolution for I would not willingly go to the grave as beasts doe without Ceremony for I being friendless those humane Funeral rites will be neglected none will take the pains nor be at the charge to see them perform'd but some base vulgar person will throw me into the Earth without respect or regard wherefore I will Living perform the Ceremonies and as a guess or friend be at my own Funeral it shall be so and I will prepare it Ex. Scene 18. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love alone and for a time walkes as in a musing or thinking with his eyes cast on the ground then speaks FAther Love Multitudes of Melancholy thoughts croud in my brain And run to pull down Reason from his Throne Fury as Captain leads the way Patience and Hope is trod upon O these distracted thoughts burrie my Soul about Seeking a place to get a passage out But all the Ports are stopp'd O Cursed Death for to prolong a life that is so weary of its Mansion Enter Mr. Comfort Sir Thomas Father Loves friend Friend Sir will you give order for your Daughters Funeral and direct how you will have her interred Father Love How say you why I will have you rip my body open and make it as a Coffin to lay her in then heave us gently on sighs fetcht deep and lay us on a Herse of sorrowful groans then cover us with a Dark Black Pitchy Spungy Cloud made of thick Vapour drawn from bleeding hearts from whence may tears of showers run powring down making a Sea to drown remembrance in But O remembrance is a fury grown Torments my Soul now she is gone Friend Sir where there is no remedy you must have patience Father Love Patience out upon her she is an Idle lazy Gossip and keep
none Company but Cowards and Fools and slothful conscientious Persons neither is she usefull but for indifferent imployments for what is of extraordinary worth Patience doth but disgrace it not set it forth for that which is transcendent and Supreme Patience cannot reach Wherefore give me Fury for what it cannot raise to Heaven it throwes it straight to Hell were you never there Friend No nor I hope shall never come there Father Love Why Sir I was there all the last Night and there I was tortured for chiding my Daughter two or three times whilst she lived once because she went in the Sun without her Mask another time because her Gloves were in her Pocket when they should have been on her Hands and another time because she slep'd when she should have studied and then I remember she wept O! O! those pretious tears Devil that I was to grieve her sweet Nature harmless Thoughts and Innocent Soul O how I hate my self for being so unnaturally kind O kill me and rid be of my painful life Friend He is much distracted Heaven cure him Exeunt Scene 18. Enter two Gentlemen 1. Gentleman The Miracle is deceas'd the Lady Sanspareile I hear is dead 2. Gent. Yes and it 's reported her Statue shall be set up in every College and in the most publick places in the City at the publick charge and the Queen will build a Sumptuous and Glorious Tomb on her sleeping Ashes 1. Gent. She deserves more than can be given her 2. Gent. I hear her death hath made her Father mad 1. Gent. Though her death hath not made every one mad like her Father yet it hath made every one melancholy for I never saw so general a sadness in my life 2. Gent. There is nothing moves the mind to sadnesse more than when Death devours Youth Beauty Wit and Virtue all at once Ex. Scene 19. There is a Hearse placed upon the Stage covered with black a Garland of Ciprus at the head of the Herse and a Garland of Mirtle at one side and a Basket of Flowers on the other Enter the Lady Innocence alone drest in White and her hair hound up in several coloured Ribbons when she first comes in speaks thus LAdy Innocence O Nature thou hast created bodies and minds subject to pains torments yet thou hast made death to release them for though Death hath power over Life yet Life can command Death when it will for Death dares not stay when Life would passe away Death is the Ferry-man and Life the waftage She kneels down and prayeth But here great Nature I do pray to thee Though I call Death let him not cruel be Great Jove I pray when in cold earth I lye Let it be known how innocent I die Then she rises and directs her self to her Herse Here in the midst my sadder Hearse I see Covered with black though my chief Mourners be Yet I am white as innocent as day As pure as spotlesse Lillies born in May My loose and flowing hair with Ribbons ty'd To make Death Amorous of me now his Bride Watchet for truth hair-colour for despair And white as innocent as purest Ayre Scarlet for cruelty to stop my breath Darkning of Nature black a type of death Then she takes up the Basket of Flowers and as she strews them speaks Roses and Lillies 'bout my Coffin strew Primroses Pinks Violets fresh and new And though in deaths cold arms anon I lye weeps I 'le weep a showr of tears these may not dye A Ciprus Garland here is for my head To crown me Queen of Innocence when dead A Mirtle Garland on the left side plac't To shew I was a Lover pure chast Now all my saddest Rites being thus about me And I have not one wish that is without me She placeth her self on her Herse with a Dagger or pointed knife in her hand Here on this Herse I mount the Throne of death Peace crown my soul my body rest on earth Yet before I dye Like to a Swan I will sing my Elegie She sings as she is sitting on the Herse thus Life is a trouble at the best And in it we can find no rest Ioyes still with sorrows they are Crown'd No quietnesse till in the ground Man vexes man still we do find He is the torture of his kind False man I scorn thee in my grave Death come I call thee as my slave Here ends my Lords Writing And just then stabs her self In the mean time the Lord de l'Amour comes and peeps through the Curtain or Hanging and speaks as to himself whilst she is a dying Lord de l'Amour I will observe how she passes away her time when she is alone Lady Innocence Great Iove grant that the light of Truth may not be put out with the extinguisher of Malice Lord de l'Amour How she feeds her melancholy He enters and goeth to her What are you acting a melancholy Play by your self alone Lady Innocence My part is almost done Lord de l'Amour By Heaven she hath stabb'd her self Calls Help Help Lady Innocence Call not for help life is gone so farr t is past recovery wherefore stay and hear my last words I die as judging it unworthy to out-live my honest Name and honourable Reputation As for my accusers I can easily forgive them because they are below my Hate or Anger neither are worthy my revenge But you for whom I had not only a devout but an Idolatrous Affection which offered with a zealous Piety and pure Flame the sincerity of my heart But you instead of rewarding my Love was cruel to my life and Honour for which my soul did mourn under a Veil of sadnesse and my thoughts covered with discontent sate weeping by But those mourning Thoughts I have cast off cloathing my self with Deaths pale Garments As for my pure Reputation and white Simplicity that is spotted with black Infamy by Hellish slander I have laid them at Heavens Gates just Gods to scoure them clean that all the World may know how innocent I have been But Oh! farewel my fleeting Spirits pure Angels bear away Lord de l'Amour O speak at the last Are you guilty or not Lady Innocence I am no more guilty of those crimes laid to my charge than Heaven is of sin O Gods receive me Oh! Oh! Dies Lord de l'Amour Great Patience assist me Heart hold life in Till I can find who is guilty of this sinn Ex. The Herse drawn off the Stage Scene 20. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love brought in a Chair as sick his Friend by him Mr. Comfort Friend How are you now Father Love O Friend I shall now be well Heaven hath pitty on me and will release me soon and if my Daughter be not buryed I would have her kept as long out of the Grave as she can be kept that I might bear her company Friend She cannot be kept longer because she was not unbowelled Father Love Who speaks her
Funeral Oration Friend Why Sir your distemper hath so disordered all your Family as it was not thought of Father Love She shall not go to the Grave without due Praises if I have life to speak them Wherefore raise me up and carry me to the Holy place before her Herse thus in my Chair sick as I am For I will speak her Funeral Oration although with my last words Thus will I be carryed living to my Grave He is carried out in a Chair by Servants Ex. Scene 21. Enter the Lord de l' Amour alone as in a Melancholy humour LOrd de l'Amour When I do think of her my mind is like a tempestuous Sea which foams and roars and roles in Billows high My brain like to a Ship is wracked and in it's ravenous Waves my heart is drowned And as several winds do blow so several thoughts do move some like the North with cold and chilly Fears others as from the South of hot Revenge do blow As from the East despairing storms do rise A Western grief blows tears into mine eyes Walks about and weeps Enter Master Charity his Friend Mr. Charity My Lord why are you so melancholy for that which is past and cannot be help'd Lord de l'Amour Oh! the remembrance of her death her cruel death is like the Infernal Furies torments my soul gives it no case nor rest For sometimes my soul is flung into a Fire of Rage That burns with furious pain And then with frozen despair it rips it up again But I unjust and credulous I was the cause of her untimely death Enter the Maid that accused her Falshood O my Lord forgive me for I have murdered the innocent Lady you grieve for for my false Accusation was the hand that guided the dagger to her heart but my Ladies command was the Thief that stole the Chain for she commanded me to take the Chain and accuse the Lady of the Theft for which she gave me the Chain for a reward This I will witnesse by oath unto you and all the World For it is heavier than a world upon my Conscience Lord de l'Amour Why did your Lady so wicked an act Falshood Through Jealousie which bred Envy Envy Malice Malice Slander and this Slander hath produce Murder Enter Informer the other Maid Informer Oh my Lady My Lady hath hanged her self for when she heard Falshood was gone to tell your Lordship the truth of the Chain she went into a base place and hung her self and upon her breast I found this written Paper She gives it de l'Amour to read Lord de l'Amour It is the Lady Incontinents Hand-writing He reads it I have been false to my Marriage-bed lived impudently in the sin of Adultery in the publick face of the World I have betray'd the trust imposed to my charge slandered the Innocent poysoned the Instrument I imployed Falshood All which being summ'd up was worthy of hanging Falshood falls down dead Lord de l'Amour She hath sav'd me a labour and kept my Heroick Honour free from the stains of having laid violent hands on the Effeminate Sex Friend What shall be done with this dead Body Lord de l'Amour Let her Ladies body with hers be thrown into the Fields to be devoured of Beasts Ex. ACT V. Scene 22. Enter the Funeral Herse of the Lady Sanspareile covered with white Satine a silver Crown is placed in the midst her Herse is born by six Virgins all in white other Virgins goe before the Herse and strew Flowers white Lillies and white Roses The whilst this Song is sung SPOtlesse Virgins as you go Wash each step as white as Snow With pure Chrystal streams that rise From the Fountain of your eyes Fresher Lillies like the day Strew and Roses as white as they As an Emblem to disclose This Flower sweet short liv'd as those The whilst her Father is carryed as sick in a Chair the Chair covered with black and born black by Mourners he himself also in close Mourning when they have gone about the Stage The Herse is set neer to the Grave there being one made Then the Father is placed in his Chair upon a raised place for that purpose the raised place also covered with Black he being placed speaks her Funeral Sermon Father Love Most Charitable and Noble Friends that accompany the Dead Corps to the Grave I must tell you I am come here although I am as a Dead Man to the World yet my desire is to make a living Speech before I go out of the world not only to divulge the Affections I had for my Daughter but to divulge her Virtue Worth and good Graces And as it is the custome for the nearest Kindred or best and constantest Friends or longest acquaintance to speak their Funeral Oration wherein I take my self to be all wherefore most fit to speak her Funeral Oration For I being her Father am her longest acquaintance and constantest Friend and nearest in Relation wherefore the fitest to declare unto the world my natural and Fatherly Love Death will be a sufficient witnesse For though I am old yet I was healthful when she lived but now I cannot live many hours neither would I for Heaven knows my affections struggle with Death to hold Life so long as to pay the last Rites due to her dead Corps struck by Death's cruel Dart But most Noble and Charitable Friends I come not here with eye fil'd with salt tears for sorows thirsty Jaws hath drunk them up sucked out my blood left my Veins quite dry luxuriously hath eat my Marow out my sighs are spent in blowing out Life's Fire only some little heat there doth remain which my affections strive to keep alive to pay the last Rites due to my dead Child which is to set her praises forth for living Virtuously But had I Nestors years 't would prove too few to tell the living Stories of her Youth for Nature in her had packed up many Piles of Experience of Aged times besides Nature had made her Youth sweet fresh and temperate as the Spring and in her brain Flowers of Fancies grew Wits Garden set by Natures hand wherein the Muses took delight and entertained themselves therein Singing like Nightingales late at Night or like the Larks ere the day begin Her thoughts were as the Coelestial Orbes still moving circular without back ends surrounding the Center of her Noble mind which as the Sun gave light to all about it her Virtues twinkled like the fixed Starrs whose motion stirs them not from their fix'd place and all her Passions were as other starres which seemed as only made to beautifie her Form But Death hath turned a Chaos of her Form which life with Art and Care had made and Gods had given to me O cursed death to rob and make me poor Her life to me was like a delightful Mask presenting several interchanging Scenes describing Nature in her several Dresses and every Dresse put in a
I will teach you Mall Mean If your Honour will take the pains to teach a poor ignorant Country Maid I will do the best I can to learn forsooth but will it not be too much pains for your Honour do you think Lo. Title No no it will be both for my Honour and my pleasure and for the pleasure of my Honour Mall Mean-bred Blesse us how the Lords doe It backward and forward at their pleasure the finest that ever was but what would your Honour have of me Lo. Title By this kiss I le tell you He goes to kiss her she seems nice and coy Mall Mean O fie fie good your Honour do not scandalize your lips to kisse mine and make me so proud as never to kisse our Shepherd again He offers Mall Mean No fie Lo. Title I will and must kisse you He strives Mall Mean-bred Nay good your Honour good your Honour He kisses her What are you the better now But I see there is no denying a Lord forsooth it is not civil and they are so peremptory too the Gods blesse them and make them their Servants Lo. Title This kisse hath so inflamed me therefore for Loves sake meet me in the Evening in the Broom close here Mall Mean I know the Close forsooth I have been there before now Lo. Title Well and when we meet I will discover more than yet I have done Mall Mean So you had need forsooth for nothing is discovered yet either on your side or mine but I will keep my promise Lo. Title There spoke my better Angel so adiew Mall Mean An Angel I will not break my word for two angels and I hope there will be no dew neither God shield you forsooth Ex. Here ends my Lord Marquesse Scene 18. Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely following Poor Virtue Sir Effeminate Lovely Fair Maid stay and look upon my person Poor Virtue Why so I do Effem. Love And how do you like it Poor Vir. As I like a curious built house wherein lives a vain and self-conceited owner Effem. Love And are not you in love with it Poor Vir. No truly no more than with a pencilled Picture Effem. Love Why I am not painted Poor Vir. You are by Nature though not by Art Effem. Love And do you despise the best and curiousest Works of Nature Poor Vir. No I admire them Effem. Love If you admire them you will admire me and if you admire me you will yield to my desires Poor Vir. There may be admiration without love but to yield to your desires were to abuse Natures VVorks Effem. Love No It were to enjoy them Poor Vir. Nature hath made Reason in man as well as Sence and we ought not to abuse the one to please the other otherwise man would be like Beasts following their sensualities which Nature never made man to be for she created Virtues in the Soul to govern the Senses and Appetites of the Body as Prudence Justice Temperance and Conscience Effem. Love Conscience VVhat is that natural fear Poor Vir. No it is the tenderest part of the Soul bathed in a holy dew from whence repentant tears do flow Effem. Love I find no such tender Constitution nor moist Complexion in my Soul Poor Vir. That is by reason the Fire of unlawful Love hath drunk all up seared the Conscience dry Effem. Love You may call it what Fire you will but I am certain it is your Beauty that kindles it and your Wit that makes it flame burning with hot desires Poor Vir. Pray Heaven my Virtue may quench it out again Poor Virtue goes out Lovely alone Effem. Love I am sure Nature requires a self-satisfaction as well as a self-preservation and cannot nor will not be quiet without it esteeming it beyond life Ex. Scene 19. Enter the Lady Ward and Nurse Careful Lady Ward I wonder my Lord Courtship he being counted a wise man should make me his Baud if he intends to make me his Wife and by my troth Nurse I am too young for that grave Office Nurse Careful How ignorantly you speak Child it is a sign you have been bred obscurely and know little of the world or rather it proves your Mother dyed before you could speak or go otherwise you would be better experienced in these businesses Lady Ward My Mother Nurse Heaven rest her soul she would never have made me a Baud Nurse Careful No why then she would not do as most Mothers do now a dayes for in this age Mothers bring up their daughters to carry Letters and to receive messages or at lest to watch at the door left their Fathers should come unawares and when they come to make some excuse and then the Mother laughs and sayes her daughter is a notable witty Girle La. Ward What for telling a lye Nurse Careful Yes when it is told so as to appeare like a truth Lady Ward But it is a double fault as to deceive the Father and be a Baud to the Mother Nurse Careful Why the Mother will execute the same Office for the daughter when she is marryed and her self grown into years for from the age of seven or eight years old to the time they are maryed the Daughter is a Baud to the Mother and from the time of their marriage to the time of their Mothers death the Mother is a Baud to the Daughter but if the Mother be indifferently young and hath a young tooth in her head as the old saying is they Baud for each other Lady Ward But why doth not the Mother Baud for her Daughter before she is marryed Nurse Care O there is reason for that for that may spoil her fortune by hindering her marriage for marriage is a Veile to cover the wanton face of adultery the like Veil is Baud-mothers and bawd-Baud-daughters for who would suspect any lewdnesse when the Mother and the Daughter is together La. Ward And are not Sons Pimps for their Fathers as Daughters are for their Mothers Nurse Careful No saith Boys have facility or ingenuity as Girles have besides they are kept most commonly so strictly to their Bookes when Girles have nothing else to do but when they have cast away their Books and come to be marryed men then they may chance to Pimp for their Wives Lady Ward O fie Nurse surely a man will never play the Pimp to Cuckold himself Nurse Care O yes if they be poor or covetous or ambitious and then if they have a handsome woman to their wife they will set her as a bait to catch their designs in the trap of Adultery or patient quiet simple fearful men will if they have a Spritely wise they will play the Pimp either for fear or quiet for such men to such wives will do any thing to please them although it be to Cuckold themselves La. Ward But surely Nurse no Gentleman will do so Nurse Gare. I know not who you call Gentleman but those that bear up high and look big and vant loud and walk
pure Gold and Innocency as Marble white and Constancy as undissolving Diamonds and Modesty as Rubies red Love shall the Altar be and Piety as Incense sweet ascend to Heaven Truth as the Oil shall feed the Lamp of Memory whereby the flame of Fame shall never goe out Exit Sir Golden Riches alone Sir Gold Rich. And is She gone are Riches of no force Then I wil bury my self within the bowels of the Earth so deep that men shall never reach me nor Light shall find me out Exit Scene 22. Enter Mistris Messenger and the Lady Amorous's woman and Lord Courtship MIstris Messenger My Lord my Lady the Lady Amourous remembers her Service to you and sent me to tell you her Husband is gone out of Town and She desires to have the happiness of your company Lord Courtship Pray present my Service in the humblest manner to your Lady and pray her to excuse me for though I cannot say I am sick yet I am far from being well Mistris Messen. I shall my Lord Exeunt Scene 23. Enter the Lord Title and then enters a Servant to him SErvant My Lord there is an old man without desires to speak with you Lord Title Direct him hither Servant goes out Enter Old Humanity Lord Title Old man what have you to say to me Old Humanity I am come to desire your Lordship not to persecute a poor young Maid one that is friendless and your Lordship is powerful and therefore dangerous Lord Title What poor Maid do you mean Old Human. A Maid call'd Poor Virtue Lord Title Do you know her Old Human. Yes Lord Title Are you her Father Old Human. No I am her servant and have been maintain'd by her Noble Family these threescore years and upwards Lord Title Ha her Noble Family what or who is She Old Humanity She is a Lady born from a Noble Stock and hath been choisely bred but ruin'd by misfortunes which makes her poorly serve Lord Title Alas he weeps Who were her Parents Old Human. The Lord Morality and the Lady Piety Lord Title Sure it cannot be But why should I doubt her Beauty Wit and sweet Demeanour declares her Noble Pedigree The Lord Morality was a Famous man and was a great Commander and wise in making Lawes and prudent for the Common Good He was a Staff and Prop unto the Common-wealth til Civil Wars did throw it down where he fell under it But honest friend how shall I know this for a truth Old Human. Did not your Lordship hear he had a Child Lord Title Yes that I did an only Daughter Old Human. This is She I mention and if Times mend will have her Fathers Estate as being her Fathers Heir but to prove it and her Birth I will bring all those servants that liv'd with her and with her Father and all his Tenants that will witness the truth Lord Title When I consider and bring her and her Actions to my minde I cannot doubt the truth and for the news thou shalt be my Adopted Father and my Bosome-friend I 'll be a staff for thy Old Age to lean upon my shoulders shall give strength unto thy feeble limbs and on my neck shalt lay thy restless head Old Human. Heaven bless you and I shall serve you as my Old Age will give me leave Exit Lord Title leading him forth Scene 24. Enter Lord Courtship and the Lady VVard LOrd Courts Thou Celestial Creature do not believe that I am so presumptuous to ask thy love I only beg thy pardon that when my body lies in the silent grave you give my restless soul a pass and leave to walk amongst sad Lovers in dark and gloomy shades and though I cannot weep to shew my penitence yet I can bleed He offers her a Dagger Here take this Instrument of Death for only by your hands I wish to die Give me as many Wounds as Pores in skin That I may bleed sufficient for my sin Lady VVard It seems strange to me that you a wise man or at least accounted so should fall into such extreams as one while to hate me to death and now to profess to love me beyond life Lord Courts My Debaucheries blinded my Judgment nor did I know thy worth or my own errour until thy wise wit gave the light to my dark understanding and you have drawn my bad life and all my unworthy actions therein so naturally in your discourse as now I view them I do hate my self as much as you have cause to hate me Lady VVard I only hate your Crimes but for those excellent Qualities and true Virtues that dwell in your Soul I love and honour and if you think me worthy to make me your Wife and will love me according as my honest life will deserve your affections I shall be proud of the Honour and thank Fortune or Heaven for the Gift Lord Courts Sure you cannot love me and the World would condemn you if you should and all your Sex will hate you Lady VVard The World many times condemns even Justice her self and women for the most part hate that they should love and honour Lord Courts But can you love me Lady VVard I can and do love you Lord Courts How happy am I to enjoy a world of Beauty Wit Virtue and sweet Graces Leads her forth Exeunt Scen. 25. Enter the Lord Title and Roger Farmer and Maudlin Huswife his Wife LOrd Title Honest Roger and Maudlin I present you with a kind Good-morrow Roger Present me Bless your Lordship I should present you with a couple of Capons Lord Title 'T is a salutation when you salute but how do you then Roger Very well I thank your Honour How do you Lord Title Well enough of Complements I am come with a Petition to you Roger What is that is 't please your Honour Lord Title A Sute Roger Byrlaken I have need of one for I have but poor and bare cloathing on Lord Title No Roger it is a request and desire I have you should grant Roger Grant or to Farm let no Sir I will not part with my Lease Lord Title Roger you understand me not therefore let me speak with Maudlin your Wife Roger There she is Sir spare her not for she is good metal I 'll warrant your Honour wipe your lips Maudlin and answer him every time that he moves thee and give him as good as he brings Maudlin were he twenty Lords hold up your head Maudlin be not hollow Maudlin I 'll warrant you Husband I 'll satisfie him Lord Title Honest Maudlin Maudlin That 's more than your Lordship knows Lord Title Why then Maudlin Maudlin That 's my name indeed Lord Title You have a maid here in your house Maudlin I hope so forsooth but I will not answer for no Virgin in this wicked world Roger Well said Maudlin Nay your Honour will get nothing of my Maudlin I 'll warrant you Lord Title Well this supposed Maid is Poor Virtue that 's her name
will be neither quiet it self always ebbing and flowing nor let any thing be at rest on it I know not what the Fishes are that are in it but for any thing I can perceive to the contrary they live in a perpetual motion So doe Ladies for their Passions and Affections ebb and flow from object to object for one while they flow with love then ebb with hate sometimes they are rough with anger and stormy with rage then indifferent calm with patience but that is seldome But in the Spring-tide of Beauty they overflow all with pride and their thoughts like Fishes are in a perpetual motion swimming from place to place from company to company from one meeting to another and are never at rest Frisk Thou deserv'st to die the death of Orpheus Satyrical 'T is likely I shall by reason I am a Satyrical Poet and Women hate Satyre in Poetry although not Wood or Forrest Satyrs and the most extravagant and maddest Actions that ever were done were done or acted by Women and the truth is Women are not only Batchelling some parts of the year but all their life-long for they drink vanity and are mad-drunk with wantonnesse Frisk Let me tell you that if I should be brought as a Witnesse and should declare the truth there were no hopes of mercy for thee Satyrical I grant it if Women were to be my Judges Exeunt Scene 11. Enter Excess VVanton Idle and Surfet Excess Where shall we go for pastime to day for our Lady hath left us to our own pleasures to day Idle Let us go and swim in a Boat upon the River Wanton That is but a watrish Recreation besides it is very dangerous for many have been drowned in their idle pastimes Surfet If you will take my Counsel let us go to the Lodge in the Park and drink Sullybubs Wanton Yes let us go for the Lodge puts me into a good humour and Sullybubs make me merry Idle You have reason for it is a cheerly Cup and a Cup of good fellowship for we may all eat and drink together Surfet Yes by spoonfuls Excess I love to be drunk by spoonfuls for then I am drunk by degrees and not at one draught as a pinte or a quart at a draught as men do besides though it be allowable for the sobrest noblest Women to be drunk with Wine-caudles Sullybubs Sack-possets and the like so it be by spoonfuls yet it were abominable and most dishonourable for Women to be drunk with plain Wine and great draught as men are besides in great draughts there is not that pleasure of taste as in a little at a time Idle I believe that is the reason that Flemmings love to sip their Wine because they would have the pleasure of Taste Wanton No question but they learn'd that of the Effeminate Sex who love to taste of every thing Surfet I do believe it for all women love spoon-meat Excess 'T is true and to drink in spoons Idle Talk no more of eating and drinking but eat and drink without talking and afterwards talk to digest it Excess And after it is digested let 's eat and drink again Wanton So we shall do nothing but eat drink and talk Surfet Women do nothing else all their life-long Wanton By your favour but we do Excess Come come let us go Exeunt Scene 12. Enter the Lady Ambition alone AMbition O that I might enjoy those pleasures which Poets fancy living in such delight as nature never knew nor that all Poets did write of me not only to express their Wit but my Worth and that I might be praised by all mankind yet not vulgarly as in a croud of others praises but my praises to be singularly inthron'd above the rest and that all others commendations might have no other light but what proceeds from the splendor of my Fame Also I wish that Nature had made me such a Beauty as might have drawn the Eyes of the whole World as a Loadstone to gaze at it and the splendor thereof might have inlightned every blind eye and the beams therefrom might have comforted every sad heart and the pleasing Aspect therein might have turned all passions into love then would I have had Nature Fortune and the Fates to have given me a free power of the whole World and all that is therein that I might have prest and squeezed our the healing Balsomes and sovereign Juices and restoring Simples into every sick wounded and decayed body and every disquieted or distemper'd mind Likewise that I might have been able to have relieved those that were poor and necessitous with the hidden riches therein and that by my power I might not only have obliged every particular creature and person according to their worth and merit but to have made so firm a peace amongst mankinde as never to be dissolved Exeunt Scene 8. Enter Monsieur Satyrical and Monsieur Inquisitive INquisitive I wonder you should be an Enemy to Women Satyrical I am so far from being an Enemy to the Effeminate Sex as I am the best friend they have for I do as a friend ought to do which is to tell them truth when other men deceive them with flattery Inquisitive But they complain and say you exclame and rail against them Satyrical Their complaints proceed from their partial Self-love and Luxury for they love pleasing flattery as they do Sweet-meats and hate rigid truth as they do a bitter potion although the one destroys their health the other prolongs their life Inquisitive But they are so angry as they all swear and have made a vow to be revenged on you Satyrical Let them throw their spleens at me I will stand their malice or dart forth Amorous glances they will not pierce my heart for Pallas is my Shield and Cupid hath no power Inquisitive If they cannot wound you with their Eyes they will sting you with their Tongues for Women are like Bees Satyrical If they are like Bees their stings lie not in their Tongues Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Mother Matron Bon' Esprit Portrait Faction Ambition Pleasure MAtron I can tell you News Ladies Portrait What News Mother Matron Matron Why there is a rich young Heir come to Town Superbe Some foolish Son of a miserable Father who hath spared from his back and belly to make his Son vain and prodigal But what shall we be the better for this rich Heir Matron Why marry if you can get him you will be so much the better as a rich Husband can make you Ambition He will first be got by the Cheats in the Town which Cheats have more subtilty and will be more industrious to get him than the youngest and beautifullest and wittyest Lady of us all so as there is no hopes of gaining him until he is so poor as he is not worth the having Faction But if he could be had whilest he were rich it were no great victory for I dare say his Mothers Landry-maid might be as soon a Conqueress
the Curtezans As for those that are kept honest I can give little or no account for they are so inclos'd with locks and bolts and only look through a jealousie so as a stranger cannot obtain a sight much less an acquaintance Soeur Then they have not that liberty we French women have Frere O no Soeur Why do they fear they would all turn Curtezans if they should be left to themselves Frere The men are jealous and will not put it to the trial for though they are all Merchants even the Princes themselves yet they will not venture their wives Soeur I would not live there for all the World for to be so restrain'd for it is said that Italian men are so jealous of their wives as they are jealous of their Brothers Fathers and Sons Frere They are so for they are wise and know Nature made all in common and to a general use for particular Laws were made by Men not by Nature Soeur They were made by the Gods Brother Frere What Gods Sister old men with long beards Soeur Fie fie Brother you are grown so wild in Italy as France I doubt will hardly reclaim you but I hope when you are marry'd you will be reform'd and grow sober Frere Why Sister are you become more sober or reform'd since you are marry'd Soeur No Brother I never was wild nor wanton but always modest and honest Frere Faith Sister me thinks you might have been marry'd more to your advantage than you are had not my Father been so hasty in marrying you so young Soeur Why do you say so Brother when the man I 'm marry'd to is so worthy a person as I do not merit him neither would I change him for all the World Frere Nay Sister be not angry for 't is my extreme love having no more sisters but you that makes me speak Soeur Prethee Brother do not think I am angry so I believe it proceeds from love and that it is your affection that makes you so ambitious for me Frere Know Sister I love you so well and so much as 't is a torment to be out of your company Soeur Thank you Brother and know I desire never to be in any other Company than my Husband Father and Brother nay any other company is troublesome Exeunt Scene 13 Enter the Sociable Virgins and Matron MAtron Ladies how are your wits to day 1 Virgin Faith my brain is like Salisbury Plain to day where my thoughts run Races having nothing to hinder their way and my brain like Salisbury-plain is so hard as my thoughts like the horses heels leave no print behind so as I have no wit to day for Wit is the print and mark of thoughts 2 Virgin And I am sick to day and sickness breaks the strings of Wit and when the strings are broke no harmony can be made 3 Virgin It is with Wits as it is with Beauties they have their good days as to speak quick and to look well to look cloudy and to speak dully and though my tongue to day is apt to run like an Alarm clock without any intermission yet my mind being out of order my tongue will go out of time as either too fast or too slow so as none can tell the true time of sense 4 Virgin For my part I am so dull to day as my Wit is buried in stupidity and I would not willingly speak unless my speech could work upon every passion in the heart and every thought in the head 1 Virgin For my part if any can take delight in my unfolded tongue and unpolish'd words my discourse is at their service Matron Me thinks Ladies your Wits run nimbly fly high and spread far wherefore make a witty match or a match of Eloquence 1 Virgin With all my heart for in the Combat of Eloquence I shall do like to a valiunt man in a battel for though he wins not the Victory yet he proves not a Coward so though I should not get the victory of Wit or Eloquence yet I shall not prove my self a fool 2 Virgin I will make no such match for though I have read some few books yet I have not studied Logick nor Rhetorick to place and set words in order and though I have read History and such like books yet I have not got their Speeches by heart nor parts of them as the parts of one Oration and a part of another Oration and of three or four to make up an Oration of my own as all Orators do now adays neither have I studied the Morals or the Fathers so much as to have their sayings and sentences to stuff my Discourse as Preachers do and to speak a natural way although extraordinary witty as to have their Orations as full of wit as of words yet it would be condemn'd if the Speaker is not learned or that their Speeches express not learning 3 Virgin Now you talk of Speeches and Orations it seems very strange to me to read the Speeches that Chronologers write down to be truly related as from the mouths of those that spoke them especially such as are spoken ex tempore and on a sudden but more especially those that are spoken in Mutinies and to a tumultuous multitude wherein is nothing but distraction both in the Speakers and Hearers frights and fears in Opposers and Assaulters As for Example when Tacitus set down the Speeches of some persons at such times when and where every one is in such fears and disorders as there seem'd to be not any one person that could have the leisure time rest or silence to get those Speeches by heart to bear them away in their memory or had they Place Time Ink Pen or Paper to write them down 4 Virgin But the Speeches that Thucidides sets down may be better credited because most of them were premeditated and soberly orderly and quietly deliver'd which might more easily be noted and exactly taken to deliver to posterity 3 Virgin Another thing is how Tacitus could come to know the particulars and private speeches betwixt man and man as Friend and Friend Brother and Brother and not only the Speeches of the Roman Nations of which he might be best informed but the Speeches of persons of other Nations whose Language was not easily understood or frequent amongst the Romans nay not only so but he hath writ the thoughts of some Commanders and others Matron Lady you must not be so strict in History as to have every word true for it is a good History if the sense matter maner form and actions be true As for Example Say a man should be presented all naked is he less a man for being naked or is he more a man for being cloathed or for being cloathed after another Fashion than his own So a History is not the less true if the Actions Occasions Forms and the like be related although every word be not express'd as they were so that Tacitus's Speeches may be true as to the sense although he
misfortune to me Marry Pray Sir be not so dejected nor look so pale I dare warrant you the News that his Barb hath won the Race will be a sufficient Cataplasm to take away his Stitch The Father and Son-in-law meet a servant Pere How doth my Son and daughter Servant I think they are both well Sir Pere Why do not you know and yet dwell in the same House Servant No indeed not I for I only saw my young Master go towards my Ladies lodging but I did not follow to inquire of their healths for feat they should be angry and think me bold Enter Madam Soeur's Maid Pere Where is you Lady Maid In her Chamber I think Sir Pere Do you but think so do you not know 'T is a sign you wait not very diligently Maid Why Sir I met my young Master going to his Sisters Chamber and he sent me on an Errand and when I came back the outward doors were lock'd so as I could not get in any ways Marry The doors lock'd say you Maid Yes Sir Marry Let them be broken open Pere O my doubts foretell à miserable Tragedy The door seems to be broke open the servant seeing the murder'd Couple cries out Murther murther Monsieur Pere falls down dead at the sight while the servant strives to recover life in the old man Monsieur Marry runs to his murder'd wife and falls to the ground and kisses her and then tears his hair and beats his breast and being as distracted rises hastily and catches up the bloody sword to kill himself his servants hold and hinder him from that Act. Marry Villains let go she shall not wander in the silent shades without my company besides my soul will croud through multitudes of souls that flock to Charons Boat to make an easie passage for her pure soul wherefore let go I command you as being your Master let go The servants still scuffle for to get away the sword in come more servants and carrie him out as being distracted Monsieur Pere not to be recover'd is carried out with the two murder'd bodies Enter three Servants 1 Servant This is so strange an Accident that hardly Story can mention the like 2 Servant I wonder how they came murder'd the door being lock'd and none but themselves if it had been thieves they would have robbed them as well as murder'd them 1 Servant I believe my young Master was the Thief that did both rob and murther 3 Servant Well I could tell a story that I heard listning one day at my Ladies Chamber-door but I will not 1 Servant Prethee tell it us 3 Servant No I will not you shall excuse me for this time Exeunt Scene 47. Enter Monsieur Sensible and Madamoiselle Amor SEnsible Daughter I am come to bring you a Medicine to take out the sting of Love Amor What is it Sir Sensible Why Monsieur Frere hath most wickedly kill'd himself She staggers Madam Amor Although I cannot usher him to the Grave I 'll follow him Falls down dead Sensible Help help for Heavens sake help Enter Servants Sensible O my Child is dead O she is dead she is dead Carry her to her Bed Exit Father and Servants Enter two servants running and meeting each other 1 Servant O my Lady is quite dead and past all cure and her Father I think will die also 2 Servant I am sure there is a sad a sad House to day Exeunt FINIS EPILOGUE IF subtile Ayr the Conduit to each ear Hearts passion mov'd to draw a sadder tear From your squees'd brains on your pale cheeks to lie Distill'd from every Fountain of each eye Our Poetress hath done her part and you To make it sadder know this Story 's true A plaudity you 'l give if think it fit For none but will say this Play is well writ The Lord Marquess of New Castle writ this EPILOGUE The Actors Names SIR Thomas Letgo Sir William Holdfast Sir Henry Courtly Master Diswader Sir VVilliam Holdfast's Friend The Lady Prudence Daughter and Heir to the Lord Sage The Lady Mute the affianced Mistress to Sir Thomas Letgo The Lady Liberty Sir Thomas Letgo's Amoretta The Lady Jealousie Sir Henry Courtly's Lady The Lady Gravity The Lady Parrot The Lady Minion The Lady Geosling Mistress Parle Mistress trifle Mistress Vanity Mistris Fondly Three of four old Ladies the Mothers to the four young Ladies Two grave Matrons The VVooers As the Soldiers the Country Gentleman the Courtier the Bashfull and his Friend the Amorous the Divine the Lawyer the Citizen the Farmer the Stranger All VVooers Gentlemen Merchants Fortune-tellers Maskers PROLOGUE OUr Auth'ress says to make a Play is hard To censure freely men are not afraid Opinions easily do pass upon The wit of others though themselves have none And envie rounds the sense and words about Hoping some errors it may soon find out But streams of wit do not so often flow As salt rough censures which to billows grow And swell so big till they in pieces fall In their own ruines they are buried all But if our Authors Play deserves a praise She will not thank you though you give her bays Because she knows it is her right and due And justice to receive the same from you Wherefore she says if you do take delight To read her Play or acted to your sight The bounty doth proceed from her alone Her wit doth pleasure give to every one The Play if bad she doth desire no praise The Cypress will receive instead of bays THE PUBLICK VVOOING ACT I. Scene 1. Enter two men 1 MAn 'T is reported that the great Mogul hath War with the Parthians and a man of our Nation is General of all his Forces 2 Man Me thinks it is too great an Honour and Trust to give to a stranger 1 Man But it is reported he hath behav'd himself so wisely honestly nobly and valiantly as he hath gained the favour of the Emperour and love of the Souldiers and also respect from all the inferiour Princes 2 Man Who should this man be 1 Man I cannot learn for the Merchants from whom I had this report know not what his right name is for they think he goeth by a cover'd name 2 Man Surely he is of a very mean Birth that he is asham'd to own his name 1 Man It seems so but let his Birth be poor or great he hath a Generous Soul for they say he is very bountiful and lives in great magnificence and carries himself as if he were Princely born He is the whole discourse upon the Exchange and the Merchants do cry him up like to another Iulius Caesar 2 Man It seems they fare the better for his being their Countryman and he to be the Emperours Favourite 1 Man 'T is like enough 2 Man Nay you may be assur'd they have a Fee of Obligation if they praise him so much Of what Age do they say he may be 1 Man They say is in the prime of his years a
am wholly in your power Prudence I will mask my beauty and set you free Wooer A mask may shadow your beauty but cannot extinguish it no more than a dark cloud can the bright Sun And as the Sun begets life and gives light so your beauty begets love and gives delight to all that do behold it Prudence And as Time brings Death Darkness and Obscurity so Age brings wrinckles and Absence forgetfulness burying love in the ruines of Beauty Wooer My love can never die nor hath time power to vade your beauty Prudence Nothing escapes Times tyranny but what the soul possesses Wooer You are the soul of beauty and beauty the soul of love Prudence Such souls have no Eternity but die as bodies do Wooer O save my soul and love me Prudence 'T is not in my power for love is free and resolute it can neither be commanded nor intreated Exeunt Scene 10. Enter the Lady Liberty Sir Thomas Letgo Sir William Holdfast the Lady Parrot the Lady Minion Master Disswader Sir VVilliam Holdfasts Friend being met at a Feast at Sir Thomas Letgo's House LEtgo Ladies you are become melancholy of a sudden I hope you are not tyr'd with dancing Liberty Yes saith we want divertisements wherefore prethy Sir Thomas Letgo send for thy affianced Mistris to make sport Letgo I am asham'd she should be seen or made known to this noble company Liberty O divulge her by all means that the World may know you do despise her and that you will marry her only because she is rich and to obey your Fathers commands Letgo I will obey your commands and send for her He sends for her in the mean time he is talking to another Enter the Lady Mute holding down her head and looking simply Liberty Sir Thomas Letgo your wise Mistris is come to welcome your Guests Letgo She wants words to express her self and Wit to entertain them Liberty Your Father knew you wanted not Wit so much as Wealth Letgo Many Fathers leave their sons nothing but their follies and vices for their Inheritance But my Father not having Vices or Follies enough of his own hath left me another mans Fool for an Annuity Parrot Is she a fool Liberty O yes for she seldom speaks Parrot That 's a great sign of simplicity indeed Liberty She is a meer Changeling for when she doth speak it is but when she is question'd and then for the most part she gives but one answer to all sorts of questions Parrot What Answer is that Liberty Her Answer is she cannot tell Holdfast Lady there may be such questions ask'd as are beyond a wise mans understanding to resolve But perchance she is sceptick that doubts all things All the company laugh Liberty What do you judge the scepticks fools Holdfast A man may judge all those to be fools that are not scepticks Liberty I judge all those that think her not a fool are fools Holdfast Then Lady I am condemn'd for I cannot give sentence against any of your Sex neither in thoughts or words Exeunt ACT II. Scene 11. Enter the Lady Prudence and the Country Gentleman as Suter They take their places the Assembly about them This wooing part of the Country Gentleman was written by the Marquiss of Newcastle Country Gentleman Madam though I no Courtier am by Education Yet I more truth may speak and here declare Your charming Eyes turn wanton thoughts to virtue Each modest smile converts the sinfull'st soul To holy Matrimony and each Grace and Motion Takes more than the fairest Face I am not young not yet condemn'd to age Not handsome nor yet I think ill-favour'd I do not swell with riches nor am poor No Palaces yet have Conveniences What though Poetick Raptures I do want My Judgment 's clearer than those hotter brains To make a Joynture out of verse and songs Or thirds in Oratory to endow you The Mean betwixt Extremes is Virtue still If so then make me happy and your self Courtiers may tell you that you may enjoy And marry pleasure there each minutes time There is all freedom for the female Sex Though you are bound yet feel not you are ty'd For liberty begins when you 'r a Bride Your Husband your Protection and the Court Doth cure all jealousie and fonder doubts Which there are laught at as the greatest follies If not by most yet they 'r thought mortal sins 'T is Heaven on Earth for Ladies that seem wise But you are vertuous and those ways despise Therefore take me that honour you for that Here ends my Lord Marquisses writing Prudence Worthy Sir could I perswade my Affection to listen to your sure you should not be deny'd but it is deaf or obstinate it will neither take your counsel nor be intreated But since you wooe so worthily I shall esteem you honourable as well you deserve Exeunt Scene 12. Enter the Lady Parrot and the Lady Minion PArrot Sweet Madam I could not pass by your house for my life but I must enter to see you although I was here but yesterday Minion Dear Madam I am very much joy'd to see you for I am never well but in your company They sit down both in one Couch Parrot When did you see the Lady Gravity Minion I have not seen her these two days Parrot Lord she is the strangest Lady that ever I knew in my life her company is so uneasie and let me tell you as a secret she hath a very ill Reputation Minion If I thought that I would not keep her company Parrot Since I heard that Report I have shunn'd her company as much as I could Minion Even so will I for I would not keep any body company that I thought were not chaste for a World But who is her servant can you tell Parrot 'T is commonly reported Sir Henry Courtly is her servant Minion Out upon him he is the veriest Whoremaster in all the Town nay if she keeps him company I will not come near her I 'll warrant you Parrot Nor I although she would fain be dear with me and seeks all the ways she can to be great with me sending her Gentleman-Usher every day to me with a How do you Minion No pray do not be dear nor great with her but let you and I be dear and great and that will anger her to the heart Parrot That it will faith therefore let us go to morrow together and visit her to let her see how dear and great friends we are Minion Content Parrot Agreed Enter Sir Henry Courtly as to visit the Lady Minion Minion Lord Sir Henry Courtly I have not seen you these three days Courtly I was here yesterday Madam to wait upon you but you were abroad then I went to wait upon you my Lady Parrot but you were also from home Parrot So then I had but the reversions of the Lady Minions Visit Courtly I can be but in one place at one time Madam Minion Why should you take it ill Madam that he should
consent makes a happy marriage wherefore I desire your free consent but know if you refuse it t is in my power to have you without your consent either for a Mistriss or for a Wife Lady Perfection You have no power the power lives within my self for I can take away my life and a dead Mistriss or a dead Wife would neither be conversable nor pleasurable death is not amiable 't is rather a terrour than a delight Arch-Prince I will leave my Sute to your consideration ponder on it well and take good advice my Sute is honest and just a deniall may inveterate my passion and turn my pure love into a raging flame Exeunt Scene 22. Enter the Lord Melancholy he walks about the Room with his Hat pull'd over his forehead his Arms foulded his Eyes bent towards the ground then enters his Father to him the Lord Dorato LOrd Dorato Why how now Son shall I never find you with Company but always alone in a musing Melancholy posture Lord Melancholy I never did love much Company Sir Lord Dorato But methinks in honesty you might love the Company of your Wife Lord Melancholy Were my liberty equal to my Love I should not be often from her Lord Dorato Why who bars you from that liberty Lord Melancholy The Laws Sir Lord Dorato So I perceive you are discontented because you are barr'd from your Whore Lord Melancholy You are my Father but should another man have said so much I would make him prove it with his blood Lord Dorato Why the Laws have proved it Lord Melancholy Oh Heavens that Fathers should be so cruell have not you made me unhappy by forcing me to those actions that neither Conscience Honesty nor Honour can approve of and yet will you disturb my Life trouble my Thoughts and torture me with words Lord Dorato No no I love you so well as I would have you so happy as to be delighted with mirth and not to bury your self in Melancholy and despise those blessings Heaven bestows upon you as Wealth and Honour besides the blessing of Posterity for your Lady proves to be fruitfull being big with Child Lord Melancholy I am so unhappy my self I desire none but to please you Lord Dorato Come come pray let me perswade you to go to your wife the Princess and sit and talk with her for she is displeased she hath no more of your Company she complains and sayes she seldome sees you Lord Melancholy Her humour and mine are so different that we are happyest when we are fardest asunder Lord Dorato Let me tell you Son that all women love to be flattered and when they are not they are peevish cross and froward and therefore you must flatter her Lord Melancholy I must have a Tutor first to teach me Sir for I understand not the Art of flattery I never practise it Lord Dorato Time and Company Ambition and Covetousness will teach you that but the best Tutor is Cupid and the best Tutoress is Venus and you have been a lover Son Lord Melancholy Yes Sir in Hymens Court and there they use not much flattery Lord Dorato Not so much as in Venus and Cupids Courts but yet there are flatterers enough in Hymens both Male and Females but pray Son go to the Princess your wife Exeunt Scene 23. Enter Lady Perfection and her Nurse LAdy Perfection Nurse I hear the Arch-Prince is resolved to have me if not by fair perswasions by force Nurse And what woman would not be perswaded to be an Arch-Princess they need no inforcement Lady Perfection Not I unless I could be perswaded to be an Arch-Whore and if you went about to perswade me you would be an Arch-Bawd Nurse Come come there is none durst call you so is you were the Arch-Princesses nor call me Bawd neither Lady Perfection But they would think me so and think you a Bawd Nurse Thoughts are free and every one may think their pleasure and therefore let me perswade you in spite of thoughts to be an Arch-Princess Lady Perfection If I thought you did not speak in jest I should hate you in earnest Nurse What for giving you good Counsel Lady Perfection No for giving me wicked Counsel but I will give you better Counsel and my self too Nurse What Counsel is that Lady Perfection To forsake the World and to go to Heaven Nurse Faith I would not go to Heaven unless the Gods call me I love this World very well I have been long acquainted with it and I would not willingly part from an old friend Lady Perfection The World did never befriend any Body besides thou art so old as thy friend the World is run away from thee Nurse But howsoever I will stay in it as long as I can The Nurse goes out Enter the Lady Gravity Lady Gravity Daughter I am come to perswade you not to reject a good fortune for Fortunes favours are not profered every day Lady Perfection Nor are her favourites surer to continue in her favour long Lady Gravity But if I should command you to receive the Arch-Princes addresses and to consent to be his wife I hope you will not be less obedient to me than the Lord Melancholy hath been to his Father Lady Perfection If he to obey his Father forgot or neglected his obedience to Heaven you must pardon me if I do not follow his precepts not that I accuse him for perchance his Conscience hath acquitted him and set him free from fault and so from blame but mine doth not acquit me wherefore dear Mother do not perswade me against my Conscience I have had misfortunes enough to trouble my life I shall not need to add the guilt of Conscience and what can outward Title do me good what pleasure can I take when that my Mind or Soul is tortured with black guilt Lady Gravity No Heaven forbid I should perswade you against your Conscience but how will you avoid or escape the Princes inforcement Lady Perfection I have thought of a way that best suits with my Condition and Disposition which is to take a Religious habit and enter into a Religious Order for though I cannot vow Virginity nor a single life having a Husband and been used as a VVife yet I can vow Chastity and retirement and if I could be permitted into an Nunnery as perchance I cannot yet I would not go into any of them for there is too much Company in ordinary Nunneryes and I love solitariness wherefore I will live a kind of a Hermits life only my Nurse and I and that- little Tower my Father built for pleasure shall be my Cloyster and before it is publickly known I will send or go to the Fathers of the Church and acquaint them and strait Incloyster my self and there I shall be safe for the Prince dares not commit Sacrilege for Gods and men would rise against him if he did Lady Gravity Nor I dare not oppose your holy design Lady Perfection Dear Mother