would have believed us Yes Why not now when your judgement is blinded Oh the judgement of God! Call it as He calleth it Correction Oh my miserable heart Oh death A dead man cannot perceive himselfe dead and God quickneth the dead Oh if he would inlarge my soul This desire is good But it is without savour God in mercy will yeeld you a comfortable rellish Consider I pray you whereas you may object the Lord is strong and terrible Exod. 34.6 it followeth Mercifull withall But I am backward in seeking it He is gracious more forward than you can be backward But I have provoked him Hee is slow to anger But my sins are great But he is abundant in goodnesse and truth The Lord hath promised that He on his part will be our God and we on our part shall be his people For a while he commended him to God shortly after returning he prayed with him Cast your burthen upon the Lord. He hath rejected me Who made you his counsellor Deut. 29.29 Secre◠things belong unto God but revealed things to us wil◠you make Almanacks He doth manifest it Oh my abominable bringing up of youth he withall groaned most deeply If you had done as the justest man you should stand need of Christs merits I or another may bring arguments but it belongs unto God to fasten them upon the soule I say to you as Noah said to Japhet Gen. 9.2 God shall enlarge Japhet c. What if your sinnes were as crimson God can make them as snow Isai 1.18 That is true of those that are capable Behold we make your estate our owne we have part of your sorrow who hath thus disposed our soules thinke you God And doe you thinke that he which causeth us to love you doth not love you himselfe I feare I did too much glory in matters of private service to God The nearer we come to God the more we see our owne vilenesse This is the use I make of it Blessed be God who hath not put our estate in the devils hands but kept it in his owne The devill hath now removed you and you thinke that all is gone out but God knows what and who is his An artificer can distinguish drosse from mettall and cannot God his from yours Well with Job lay your hand on your mouth Job 40.4 and hold your peace and so good rest have you Only consider your comfort though it be but small whence it comes from Gods word and servants no otherwise When he returned againe to give and take farewell he began to complaine Oh great and grievous The Lord knoweth what power he hath given you A father will put a greater burden on a stronger son but see the difference First when an earthly father or Master setteth his servant or son on worke they must doe it with their own strength but the Lord setteth on worke giveth strength too Be not discouraged you are now in your calling Oh my soule is miserable What then a father loveth his son as well when hee is sleeping as waking Ioh. 14.26 The holy Ghost calls to remembrance what you have heretofore taught and now heard and although I shall bee absent in body yet shall I be present in minde Be not covetous to seeke abundance by and by If Jacob could say to Esau Gen. 33.10 I have seen thy face as if I had seen the face of God much more should you thinke so of the children of God Christ come unto you I thanke God he hath begun to ease me He will in his good time God grant Thus hee tooke his last farewell Although we depart from our friends in the way yet we shall meet in the end One told Master Dod that he had uttered such words Now the Lord hath made me a spectacle Whereby he counselled one that attended him to be sparing in admitting commers in or speakers lest his braine should bee too much heated A friend of his comming to him asked him Dare you any more repine against God Why should I so God bee blessed It is a signe of grace But I have no means You have had them offered But not given with effect They shall I doubt not God grant but I feele it not He received a letter from a friend very respectively and much respected of them both wherin these words were written I heard I know not how true that our deare Christian friend Master Peacock is in great danger which hath much grieved and afflicted my soule and wrung from me very bitter teares if his extremities be such his tentations sure be like to be very sore Tell him from mee as one who did ever with dearest loving affection know and converse with him that I can assure him in the word of life and truth from a most just and holy God whose Minister I am that he is undoubtedly one of his Saints designed for immortality and those endlesse joyes in another world When it was read to him at these words I can assure him he said Oh take heed take heed Do you thinke that he would or durst assure you unlesse hee knew upon what grounds I deceived my selfe now God hath revealed more Another time one requested him that hee would make his friends partakers of the least comfort that the Lord had bestowed upon him as they had been partakers of his griefe If I had it I would gladly communicate it Search and take notice of the least How should I have any sense God denyeth the meanes Doe you thinke sense is a fruit of faith Yes At this season * For it was in the deepe of Winter Decemb. 4. 1611. although though the husbandman hath sowne much yet he sees nothing above groūd Applications doe not prove hold your peace my soule is broken Then the promise is yours I would gladly aske you one thing Now you will aske twenty Doe you seeke for grace in your soule I cannot How then can you know whether it be there or not It is dead The Lord in whose hands the disposing thereof is disposeth it for your good and his glory I thanke you What do you think of that place Joh. 20.23 Whosesoever sins ye remit they are remitted unto them You know how far they may goe The bargaine howsoever is not now to be made betwixt God and you Shortly after came one whom he much esteemed Oh I love said he your company for the grace that is in you and much more to the same purpose Suddenly after he breakes out into this ejaculation Oh God reconcile me unto thee that I may taste one dram of grace by which my miserable soule may receive comfort One secretly willed that man to desire him to repeat it againe Doe not trouble me with repetitions There being a Sermon he bad them about him to goe thither After he called one and asked him Whether the preacher being acquainted with his course of preaching did use his
escape safe to that land of righteousnesse (r) Psal 143.10 And thither also must we arrive through the streights of death and therefore that we may looke that King of terrours (Å¿) Iob 18 14. undauntedly in the face it stands us all in hand to watch Here wee may see the Lords champion this blessed servant of God in the lists resisting (t) Heb. 12.4 unto blood combating and encountering with most dreadfull temptations whose turne may be the next wee know not God may call any of us out unto the duell and turne Satan loose upon us hand to hand we had need therefore before hand learne the use of all our spirituall armour (u) Eph. 6. as Saul taught Iudah the use of the bowe * 2 Sam. 1.18 The strength we must stand and withstand by is not our owne not from nature no nor grace it selfe it is God that must teach (w) Psal 144.1 our fingers to fight he must cover our head in the day of battell (x) Psal 140.7 We are here all militant and must bid battell and abide it or else no victorie Satan reserves his most dangerous ambushments and desperate assaults to the last Here thou maist perceive how where and when he useth most mortally to strike and so stand upon thy guard To keep thy conscience safe shot-free and unwounded is the maine-service Herein I exercise my self (z) Acts 24.16 to have alwaies a conscience void of offence toward God and toward men If that bird of the bosome sing sweetly in our brest it makes no matter what dirdams and stirres be from the world Therefore make much of conscience it must stand us in stead and be our best friend another day Walke in the light thereof It is a blessed thing to keep it tender But alas how doe men muzzle stifle and choke it up how doe they noise and drum in its eares that the cries thereof may not be heard 2 King 23.10 Ier. 19.2 as the Idolatrous Jewes in the burning of their children to their Idols O Brethren saith Francis Spira take a diligent heed to your life Relation of Francis Spira pag. 112. make more account of the gifts of Gods Spirit than I have done learne to beware my misery thinke not you are assured Christians because you understand something of the Gospell take heed you grow not secure on that ground be constant and immoveable in the maintaining of your profession confesse even untill death if you be called thereto he that loveth father mother brothers sisters sons Luk. 14.26 daughters kindred houses lands more than Christ is not worthy of him pag. 104 105. And in another place Take heed to your selves it is no light or easie matter to be a Christian it is not baptisme or reading of the Scriptures or boasting of faith in Christ though even these are good that can prove one to be an absolute Christian There must be a conformity in life a Christian must be strong unconquerable not carrying an obscure profession but resolute expressing the image of Christ and holding out against all opposition to the last breath he must give all diligence by righteousnesse and holinesse to make his calling and election sure Many there are that snatch at the promises in the Gospel as if they undoubtedly did belong to them and yet they remain sluggish and carelesse and being flattered by the things of this present world they passe their course in quietnesse and security as if they were the only happy men whom neverthelesse the Lord in his providence hath ordained to eternal wrath as you may see in S. Lukes rich man Luke 16. thus it was with me therfore take heed Thus he And that I may keep thee no longer from this so fruitfull a Treatise Reade advisedly this following Narration and thou shalt reape much good thereby To which end it is now published and presented to thy view by thy wel-wisher in the Lord I. C. MASTER PEACOCKS Visitation MAster Peacock the servant of God in the beginning of his Visitation for the space of two weekes and foure daies was full of most heavenly consolations shewing by sweet meditations and gracious ejaculations the entertainment he found with his God in his sicknesse with whom he so much desired to be acquainted in his health We are saith one comming to visit him miserable comforters Iob 16.2 Nay saith he you are good for this is ever the priviledge of Gods children that their very presence affords comfort Sometimes hee craved pardon for his actions and for the circumstances of them badly observed Otherwhile he desired to have some matter given him to meditate on Finally hee said his hope was firmly setled on the rocke Christ Jesus he hoped that the Lord would give him a place though it were in the lowest roome of his Saints and he thanked God that hee had no trouble of Conscience The Lord did not suffer Satan to vexe him insomuch that one seeing his great comfort feared lest hee would be overtaken with sorrow before his death He much rejoyced that the Lord had so disposed of him that he had seene his friends in the Countrey Here first was his yeelding unto death suspected and his hoped recovery doubted I thought said he I had been in a good estate but I see it now far otherwise for these things my Conscience laies against me 1. I brought up my Schollers in gluttony This some endeavoured to pull out by putting him in minde of 1. The preventing of many inconveniences 2. His well knowne moderation 3. The great care hee tooke for good conference when they were at Table with him But saith he while I was talking they did undoe themselves and further I did unadvisedly expound places of Scripture at the table many times and for these now I feele a hell in my conscience 4. Againe I have procured my own death by eating and drinking often like a beast when I was joysting up and downe to my friends in the countrey and now I see before my face those dishes of meate wherewith I clogged my stomack Well saith one to him if all these things that you accuse your selfe of were undone would you doe them againe Nay then doubt not but a reprobate would desire to be saved if a desire would serve the turn Indeed he may have a desire but of bare willingnesse not with an intent and purpose in using the meanes Another time a worthy friend of his asking him how he did he cryed out Sin Sin Sin What doth any lie on your conscience Yea. What My inconsideratenesse I did eat too much of such meat at breaking my fast such a morning my selfe being witnesse of his great abstinence could not but admire the tendernesse of his selfe-accusing conscience well said he God be thanked there is no greater as we must not extenuate our sins so neither must we too much aggravate them Let drunkards and gluttons have those most
were themselves capable Name one wherein they do not There is one pointing at a Master of Arts then present he justifiâ—d his care of him and thanked God that ever he knew him It is not so I did foolishly You confesse you did foolishly therefore not of malice Againe consider what would have become of them if you had not taken them ' Better far better All in the Colledge know to the contrary But I feele it It is false believe not the devill It is too true Then will you make amends God will give you your soules desire Never Are you sorry that he will not No. There is no grace in the soule it is dead Such was Davids case What doe you compare me with David Behold Christ himselfe Nothing to me God can make his death availeable He cannot He is omnipotent In me he cannot because it stands not with his purpose Whom God loveth once c. But he never loved me You have tasted of his love I deceived my selfe in a certaine vain-glory I exposed my head to many things outwardly only You could say the Lords prayer and therein call him Father Hypocritically I was wont to enquire of Master Mason what was meant by Abba Father rather in curiosity then truly to be edified God will give a good issue Never I have no sense We will pray with you Doe not dishonour God It is well that you will not have God dishonoured Here he sticked saying I pray you trouble me not with distinctions Afterward came one who with vehement action of body pressed him and urged him that he would trust upon God I cannot said he he will not have me saved his sentence is passed Doe you desire to be saved Noe. Doe you desire to desire No. Would you be damned No. Look at the sins of other men as great as yours and yet they are saved They were good and godly They found grace Here is the difference my sins are horrible he repeated that towards his Schollers All of us know you tooke paines Outwardly You did your best No. I see now what it is you strictly looke back to your owne actions as a Justitiary who will none of Gods mercy and now he hath justly met with you Your judgement is just These words affected some strangely Another willed him to looke to it It seemed neare Popery Doe you hope to be justified by your merits I feare to be damned for my sins The other asked him whether he could say Amen No. Have you no tongue What is that to the purpose Name Jesus at his name will flie away c. I cannot If I had your tongue in my hand I would make you speak Turning his speech to a friend present O saith he if you did feele my griefe an houre you would have compassion The other replyed if you were in the fire you would wish to get out I had rather be in the fire than here I will pray for you Sin not Let the fault bee mine Although my purpose was barely to relate the passages of this gracious mans visitation and to refer to your spirituall eye what you could finde therein yet let your gentle construction with-hold froÌ„ me the deserved censure of bold blindnesse in that I now and then point at some things which your quick sight may sooner and better apprehend The devils malitious policy was so great towards him in that he assaulted him most strongly in that which might and ought to have been his greatest comfort Again I saw the Physitians opinion helped somewhat in bodily maladies or diseases whereas in that his estate his soule remained as it were uncapable of comfort from the soules physitian He much respected some few hee dolefully poured out his soule into the bosome of a well-willer of his on this manner I tooke upon mee too proudly many things and being negligent performed nothing Cursed be the day when I tooke Schollers if I had not taken them I had been happy with a good flourish I was stirring many waies and in the meane time left the essence of my calling teaching of my Schollers What saith the other shall I now doe when I see you thus tossed Well I was an hypocrite therefore there is no hope of comfort for me in Gods presence I have no sense of it The Sun is in the Firmament though hid in a cloud This comparison agreeth not to me What then would you counsell me to doe Abide within the bounds of your calling take not too much on you and the Lord will blesse you Will it availe me to heare Sermons Yes if you meane to be saved What good shall I reap thence Nothing from the bare hearing Oh this heavy lumpish feare hath oftentimes shaked me and now it hath broken out Another said You know the poore in spirit are blessed I am not such You see you are empty of all good you feele the burthen I pray goe your waies He turned his head aside and stopped his cares What though you have done but little good if you have given but a cup of cold water He thrusted him away with his foot either as some thoght being troubled with his shrill voice or as he replyed through the devils subtilty That evening hee was grievously afflicted suddenly he breakes out Oh if God! The standers by endeavoured to cherish this good motion and said unto him God will give you grace I doubt it Then presently after he uttered this prayer Oh God give me a spark of grace and inlarge my soule that I may apprehend it He asked a friend how he might give satisfaction for some speeches Master Dod although he departed on Saturday and had then an unfeasonable journey yet being requested by letters returned on Tuesday following He at the first sight started up as desirous to meete him Oh Master Dod and in friendly sort complained I have no grace I will not saith Master Dod believe every one that saith he hath grace nor every one that saith he hath not any Answer the devill as Christ did A man must not alway bee lead by sense let us enquire by the effects and it may suffice A Christian must not alwaies be led by sense If you can but finde one even the least it is enough You forgive your enemies and love them and would do them no hurt if you can Yes Then your enemies are forgiven An hypocrite may give almes and fast this he cannot doe That is a small matter I thinke it to be a great one yea such a one as I had need to pray for That is put for a reason in the Lords prayer and if Christ had thought any more forcible he would have given it Sir that 's true in those that are elected Doe not put an exception where God hath not I would not handle you as I doe but that I know your estate I come hither to cherish you you love your good friends I cannot Had you rather that bad or good should bee with