Cities of Refuge for Sins To see thy Passion made the Nurse of Presumption and thy Mercy the Milk of all Abominations When Indignation kindles in thy poor Servants Soul at so great Indignities how is it that Wrath flames not out in Thine How is it Even so it is because thou art Jesus Lovest to save and art loth to destroy Waitest our Repentance and Wavest thy Vengeance I am Ravish'd with that good Spirit of thine O Christ Thou hadst it on the Cross and keepest it on the Throne Where it appears it doth Ravish me In thy Lips Thou Prayest their Pardons that are shedding thy Blood And thirstest for their Salvation that are Butchering thy Body In thy Arms Stretch'd out to Embrace all on Earth and therefore strike not tho' in all the Power of Heaven In thy Eyes As Thou wast with one of my Mothers I am with one of Thine Thy Fury frights me O Lord Thy Favour is that One The Eye with which thou didst look at the poor Thief and give him both thy Pardon and thy Paradise The Eye by which thou didst look at thy dear Mother and amidst all thy Wounds chuse her a Guardian and have her in thy Cares The Eye with which thou did'st look at the dear Disciple and Adopt him of thy Servant thy Mothers Son The Eye by which thou didst look at poor Sinners to be saved a Church to be bought and World to be Ransom'd But in thy Heart O Lord O what an Apparition see I there Through the bloody Door of thy Wounded Breast a House full of Nothing but Goodness Pity Patience Mercy O what a Perspective is there by the way of the Spear To see the Prospect of a poor Sinners sole delight a Heart full of Grace and Favour in the Brest of a Jesus A Saviours Heart From that Heart with that Eye O Christ behold the Afflicted Mother thy Church and thy dear Disciple her Child Breathe Comfort to her for whom thou gavest Blood And to him who is the Son of her Comfort Make Peace between Mother and Children where there should be Love Let them live by one Spirit that are bought with one Blood And no longer be one anothers Cross but bear one anothers Burdens Dart Lord from that blessed Eye of Pity these Favours on the Face of that bleeding Body and with thy Arms Nail'd once to a Cross now extended on a Throne Embrace her and uphold her in Life Advance her Throne for whom thou did'st endure thy Cross O Thou who didst with thy Fingers work Heaven and Earth and upholdest all things by the Word of thy Power those whom the World treads under foot take thou into thy Arms In thy blessed Arms O thou Omnipotent and All Merciful Maker and Saviour of the World in thy blessed Arms I leave the Wounded Mother and at thy Feet I lay the bleeding Child JESUS nourish these holy Passions in me which my Heart hath conceived and my Tongue now brought forth before Thee Let thy holy Passion ever breed them in me and thy Spirit Nurse them for thee even by the Merits of thy bloody Passion I beseech Thee Amen! Amen A Prayer before Coming to the holy Communion Acknowledging and Deprecating our Vnworthiness O Lord I am every where in thy Presence and under thy Eye and therefore shou'd be prophane no where but thy special Presence and Face is in thy Temple There therefore I should be more holy and thy Chair and Seat is at thy Table and therefore there I should be yet more so Even the Angels are not pure enough for such a Heavenly Presence how then shall a poor mortal Man appear at so high and holy a Service How shall I dare to Communicate with Thee that deserve not to come before Thee Lord since I cannot come as I should pure I will endeavour by thy Grace to come as I may Penitent I will be more humble because less holy and more Wash'd because so Filthy And O Lord give me Grace so to come Let me look over my Life in the Glass of thy Law and make me wash with my Tears what is polluted in my Ways and Cleanse in Christ's Blood what I wash with my Tears O Lord in a Bath of this Water warm'd in that Blood flowing from a Sinners bleeding heart and Saviour's bloody side shall I not be clean if I wash Pierce my heart O Lord that I may repent open my heart that I may believe that so I may wash and be clean Tho' I did not live let me believe aright and let me love whom I do believe even thee O God Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who didst send thy Son to shed his Blood and Redeem me and Thee O Son of God who didst come and shed thy Blood to make a Bath and heal me and also Thee O holy Spirit of God by whose Grace and Work upon my heart I come to have the Benefits of that Blood And whom I love let me not grieve Lord let me no more offend thee Let my heart be set to serve thee resolved to please thee And do thou accept me Father Son and holy Ghost Amen A Prayer before the holy Communion to be Pardon'd and Prepar'd for it DEAR Saviour that hast given thy Flesh and Blood to be my Meat and Drink and now invitest me to those Heavenly Dainties Who am I woful and wicked Wretch that I am that I should dare with my unworthy hands to receive those high and holy Mysteries Originally Vnclean Actually Defiled and even since my last Coming and Communicating for all my Vows and Protestations before thee again and again polluted In these straits and stresses of Spirit how shall my Soul be satisfied If I come not at thy call I rebel against thy Mercy If I come I trespass upon thy Purity O my God I will not stand out a Rebel but rather fall down an humble Suppliant before thee I am guilty Lord Pardon me I am polluted Lord purge me Tho' guilty tho' polluted I am thy Ransomed Soul Dear Redeemer save me Let the Merits of thy precious Blood cleanse me from the guilts upon me Let the Graces of thy holy Spirit Sanctifie me from the stains within me Let the Sighs and Tears which come from my bleeding Heart wash off those Blots by Vertue of that Pretious Blood Let the Cries and Prayers which now come from my Believing Soul obtain those Graces from thy holy Spirit True Repentance and Humility a lively Faith and Charity with all those holy and heavenly Thoughts and Affections which may dispose and prepare me for Thee By these fit my Soul for thy Self and my Body with my Soul to be an holy House and Habitation for thee Let thy holy Spirit and Body enter into me Come dear Redemer come to the price of thy Blood seiz thine own and save me Possess my Soul Feed me and Preserve me Hereafter let me have more Grace than to grieve thee Give me care to keep my
are blessed because theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven And seeing the Captain of our Salvation was made Perfect through Sufferings why should it not also be the same with his Followers 2. Another Reason why it pleases God to Exercise us here with Afflictions is That our hearts might be drawn off from the love of the World which is an Enemy to God The inordinate love of the World makes the Soul uncapable of the love of God for St. Iohn tells us expresly That if any Man love the World the love of the Father is not in him How much better is it then to have the hatred of the World and to have God our Friend than to have the World our Friend and God our Enemy And sure we have no reason to complain of Afflictions since St. Paul tells us We are chastened of the Lord that we might not be condemned with the World God is pleased to imbitter the World to us by Afflictions as a Tender Mother does her Teat when she wou'd wean her Child from the Brest she rubs her Nipple with Aloes or Wormwood which the Child tasting will take the Brest no more So when the World wou'd intice us to the love thereof by its Delights and Pleasures our merciful Father sends us Tribulations and Afflictions to take our hearts from the love of present things which could we have quietly Enjoy'd we should have been for building Tabernacles here Could the Prodigal Son have fill'd his Belly with Husks he would never have thought of Returning to his Father but Want and Affliction brought him from the Swine with whom he would have staid could he have got his Belly full 3. Another Benefit we receive by Affliction is That we are thereby Cured of our Soul-Disease and that too of such as are otherwise almost incurable Honours Riches and a Prosperous Condition in the World causes us too often to contract those sinful Habits which we never come to reflect upon much less to repent of until Affliction makes us Therefore it is that Solomon tells us The Rod and Reproof give Wisdom The Story of Ioseph's Brethren is remarkable they had sold their Brother to the Ishmaelitish Merchants and made their Father believe he was torn in pieces of Wild Beasts and then thought all was well and were not at all troubled that they had sold their Brother and deceiv'd their Father But afterwards when they went down to Egypt were there put in Ward and charged as being Spies this Affliction brings to their remembrance their former Usage of their Brother Ioseph and now they cry out We are verily guilty concerning our Brother We saw the anguish of his Soul when he besought us and we would not hear therefore is this distress come upon us Had it not been for that affliction in all probability they had never repented of their Cruelty to Ioseph One likeneth Afflictions to the Rod of Moses for as the striking that upon the Rock brought forth Water so the Rod of Affliction often mollifieth stony-hearted Sinners and makes the Waters of Repentance to gush out Another compares it to a File for as that cleanses the Iron from its Rust and make it bright So Affliction files off that Rust of Sin which worldly Prosperity has contracted and makes our Graces shine more bright and glorious The Scripture likewise compares it to a Furnace wherein Gold is tried and purged from all its filth and dross and brought to the greatest degree of Perfection It may also well be compared to a Purging Potion for as that driveth the corrupt and ill humours out of a diseased Body so Afflictions drive out evil Passions and corrupt Desires and Affections out of the Soul such as Pride Vain-glory Sloth Niceness Lust Gluttony Drunkenness and many more And Elihu speaking to Iob of the Afflictions with which God uses to exercise his People tells him It is that he may with-draw Man from his Purpose and hide Pride from him he does indeed says Elihu chasten him with Pains upon his Bed and the multitude of his Bones with strong Pain so that his Life abhorreth Bread and his Soul dainty Meat yea his Soul draweth near to the Grave and his Life to the destroyers Lo these things says he worketh God often-times with Man But wou'd you know to what End 'T is to bring back his Soul from the Pit to be Enlightened with the light of the Living 4. Another Benefit of Affliction is That it is a Preservative from Evil and keeps us from many Sins which we should otherwise run into This is what God intends by the Prophet Hosea when he tells the Children of Iudah that were bent upon Idolatry and resolved to go after their Lovers that God wou'd prevent 'em and put a stop in their Way I 'll hedge up thy way with Thorns says God That is I will bring such afflictions upon you as shall be as so many Thorns in your sides which shall put a stop to your Careir in Wickedness And this was the Experience of holy David long before For he tells us Psal. cxix 71. It is good for me that I have been Afflicted If you ask why it was good for him or what Benefit he found by it He readily tells you Vers. 67. Before I was afflicted I went astray but now have I kept thy Word And therefore instead of murmuring against God for Afflictions he justifies God I know O Lord says he that thy Iudgments are just and that in faithfulness thou hast afflicted me 5. ANOTHER Advantage we reap by Afflictions is That hereby God puts us upon the Tryal of our Graces There are many that will swim with the Tide that won't venture when the stream is against ' em What the Devil falsly said of Iob is but too true of many Men they won't serve God for nought When God blesses them with the good things of this Life and they have all that their Hearts can wish then they will be for God and for the Profession of Religion but if he puts forth his hand and takes away what they have they will be like those that the Prophet Isaiah speaks of who when they are hungry and hardly bestead shall fret themselves and curse their King and their God And therefore Iob's Constancy under those great Afflictions made his Piety and Patience so much the more Illustrious 'T is Affliction that shews us which are Hypocrites and which are sincere Christians a sincere Christian varies not with the Times but is semper idem always the same whereas a Hypocrite is a Time-server and will turn with the Times rather than be turn'd out If Tribulation comes he is for avoiding of it let it come from what Quarter it will How many can we remember that made the greatest Pretences of Loyalty to the King that cou'd be and had there been no occasion to try their Loyalty would have been Loyal still but when Times of Affliction and Trial came on and the King was
Thou ever art a Merciful Father Forget not thy Fatherly Goodness to me who pray thy Pardon for offending Thee Thy Grace to serve Thee and Thy Providence to preserve me this Night and Evermore through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen A Prayer for one in Affliction O Lord That Affliction which is now my Lot is the Result of thy good Pleasure and as such let me Eye it and improve it to Reclaim me from Evil Ways and to direct my course into those that are Good If it be so grievous to bear it for a Time what is it O God to suffer it and ten thousand times more misery than it for Ever Then if it be ill let it be thy Rod to reclaim me and if Good thy Staff to make me stand better in Grace and advance me to thy Glory Thy Fan to Purge me Thy Furnace to Prove me So Adversity to my Body be the Prosperity of my Soul let it come and Welcome O Lord that my Soul may at last everlastingly Prosper with Thee in that Day of Bliss which knows no Cloud of Ill nor end of Good to Eternity Since Affliction is a sign of thy Mercy a Badge of thy Favour and a means of Glory let me not be Impatient under it lest I perpetuate my Woes to two Worlds and whom Thou hast but for a Time make my self miserable for ever Blessed Jesus who didst go from a Cross to a Crown and doest Cross me to Crown me let me carry mine Patiently that I may come to thy Throne and not cast my self from a Cross of Woe into a Gulph of Confusion From such Miscarriages under my Present Afflictions O Lord deliver me Dear Jesus By the Merits and Example of thy holy Cross and by the Vertues and Works of thy holy Spirit Do it for me and Sanctifie it to me Amen A Concluding Prayer BEhold O Lord what I have Prayed unto thee for and grant I humbly beseech thee the Requests that I have put up unto Thee this Evening and hear the Petitions of thy Servant And do for me for the Nation for thy Church and for all Estates and Conditions therein not only according to what I have Prayed but according to what I should and ought to have Prayed and what any else have prayed with me for Jesus Christ his sake in whose Name I have presented them with whose Words I desire to Perfume and Perfect my Prayers Beseeching Thee That his Spirit may breathe in those Words in which I know I Pray both what and as I ought And therefore as Devoutly Confidently say Our Father which art in Heaven c. The Blessing BLESSED are the Afflicted and Troubled and those that mourn under those Calamities we feel and fear The Blessing and Comfort of God the Father and the Grace of our Lord Iesus Christ and the Consolations of the holy Spirit be upon me and upon all such sad and sorrowful Souls with me this Night and Evermore Amen Meditations and Prayers FOR THE NOLY COMMUNION BOTH Before At and After Receiving A Meditation before the Receiving the holy Communion O My dear Lord Thy Passion makes me full of all Passions I am in Love and yet I Hate I have my Longings and my Loathings I both Rejoyce and Grieve and Cherish Hope and Fear I am Incens'd and Ravish'd I am in Love with Thee O blessed Jesus I am Enamour'd of thy Person O Thou God-Man The Son of God! The Beauty of Heaven and Earth The Center of all Created and Uncreated Excellency The Mirror of the Godhead The Wonder of Angels The Glory of Mankind I am Inflamed with thy Love Thou mad'st thy Love to Lazarus legible in thy Tears See how he loved him said the Jews and shall not I read it in thy Wounds They saw Love in thy driping Eye and shall not I in thy Bleeding Side They in the Hot-water thou didst bestow on his Dead Body and shall not I see it in that reaking Blood thou sheddest for my lost and Dying Soul O let not my heart be so hard to see those Wounds of so great Love to me and yet to have no Woundings of Affection for Thee For thee Lord Yes and all in Heaven and Earth that have Relation to Thee I am also in Love with the God and Father of my Lord Jesus Christ who would give his Son his only Son the Son of his Love so to suffer on Earth for a Time that I might not suffer for Ever in Hell I am also in Love with Thee O Thou Blessed and Holy Spirit of GOD who didst anoint Jesus to be my Christ and thereby Inaugurate him to his Crown of Thorns and Blessed tho' most Bloody Passion which he suffered for me I am in Love with the whole Blessed Trinity whose glorious Essence and Ineffable Unity I Adore tho' I cannot comprehend and whose Counsels fill my Soul with the highest Admiration tho' I am never able to search out their Unfathomable depth I have also Love for the Sons of Men for them especially for whom my Lord Jesus shed his precious Blood thereby to make them the Sons of God and Brothers of Christ Thy Cross O Jesus shall make all Mankind my Friends for where thou gavest thy Blood why shou'd not I give my Heart THUS Lord I love all for thee and thee in all And now I will love my self for thy sake amongst them O Lord I am one in whom is thy Flesh a Man I am one in whom is thy Spirit a Christian I am one for whom thou didst shed thy Blood on whom thou hast shed thy Spirit A redeemed esteemed Man by Thee and shall I be so poor as to Value Dirt to thy Blood Shall I be tempted to give my self from Thee to the Flesh and to the World O Lord I will Value thy Blood more I will keep the Spirit better I will set a higher price on my self than to sell thy Blessed Purchase to the Devil for a base Piece of Flesh and a small portion of the World So am I and let me ever be in love with Thee O Lord. BUT O Sin I am in Hate with Thee for my own and for my Saviour's sake O thou Enemy of God and Man how execrable art thou More than heart can think That madest him lamentable more than Eye saw AND O Devil I hate Thee who didst tempt Man out of Paradise and so draw Christ to a Cross And could thy Temptations have prevail'd and thy Power been equal to thy Malice wouldst have cast the second Adam out too that so nor the First nor his Seed might ever have come in again AND O World I abhor thee as the Imp of the Devil who of his Jews and Gentiles couldst find hands for such horrid Acts and Sins that made those Bloody Passions So Sin Devil World for the Death of my King and Lord and Christ you have my Hate I have also my Longings too I Long for the Lord My Soul Longeth for God even the
The Royal Sufferer A MANUAL OF MEDITATIONS AND DEVOTIONS Written for the Use of a Royal tho' Afflicted FAMILY By T K D. D. Printed in the Year 1699. TO THE KING Great Sir PErmit me I beseech You to lay at Your Royal Feet this small Manual which has no other design but the Supporting of Your Sacred Majesty and Your Faithful Friends and Adherents under those Calamities which Your Majesty has born with so much Magnanimity Patience and Christian Resolution that it shews You to be the Heir not only of Your Royal Father's Crown but of his Afflictions and Sufferings Exerting the like Constancy and Courage under them as that Blessed Martyr did 'T is true indeed Your Royal Father was a Protestant and Liv'd and Dy'd in and for that Profession and I cou'd heartily wish that Your Majesty was so too For then we might quickly hope to see an end of our present Miseries in a short time But tho' so great a Blessing be deny'd us yet shall my Loyalty and Duty approve it self the same as if You were 〈◊〉 for I cannot conceive what ever some may think that Your Majesty's being of another Perswasion than my self can discharge me from my Allegiance to You. And I hope Your Majesty will not the less regard what I have here Written because I profess my self as I always did to be a Member and an Vnworthy Son of the Church of England For as it has always been my Iudgement that he that Believes Lives and Prays according to the Rules that Christ has given us is a True Christian and a happy Man so I believe that the next way to Heaven is not to look after Controversie but Conscience and to spend our Zeal and Time not in being Contentious but Religious And therefore wheresoever I live in the Christian World whither East or West it is not my being a good Scholar that will make me happy but a good Christian not a Learned Disputant for Christ but a Devout Servant to him Nor the being of such or such a Party or side in the Church but a True Member of his Body AND if Your Majesty wou'd Vouchsafe to bear with me a little I cou'd easily demonstrate this to be the most Safe Way For if I am Regenerated by the holy Spirit and made a Christian by true Baptism believing the Scriptures can it with any Colour of Reason be Suppos'd that I shall suffer Damnation for not equally Believing Traditions And if I make Conscience to serve and Worship GOD can it be thought I shall Perish for not Worshiping Images If I pray to GOD as our Blessed Saviour hath taught me saying Our Father c. Who can think I should incur the Sentence of Damnation for not Invocating Saints and Angels And if I receive the holy Communion of the Body and Blood of Christ in both kindes according to Christ's Institution as even the Roman Church Confesses who can believe I shall be damned because the Cup is taken away by a Council THESE things I urge with all humility only to let Your Majesty see what reason I have to believe the Protestant Religion to be the most Safe Way And if through the Divine Blessing they should be made Efficacious to cause Your Majesty to Return to and Embrace the Religion professed even to Death by Your Royal Father for whom I am sure You have so justly a great Veneration it wou'd be the Ioy and Rejoycing of all Your People and wou'd open a Door of hope to 'em even in this Valley of Achor But if for our Sins we shall still be depriv'd of so great a Blessing it is yet our Duty to submit to the Soveraign Will of our Almighty Maker and to continue our Loyalty to Your Majesty praying That the Divine Goodness would graciously support You under those great and many Troubles wherewith it has pleased Him to Exercise You here and at last to Translate You to a brighter Crown even a Crown of Immarcessible Glory Which is the Daily and Earnest Prayer of Your Majesties most Loyal Faithful and Obedient Subject and Servant T. K. INTRODUCTION HAVING with grief of Heart observed that Uninterrupted Series of Afflictions that has now for some Years attended one of the most Royal Families in Europe to which I have the Honour to be particularly related and thereby am involved in their common Fate my self having run the same Risque with that of my Royal Master and suffered the loss of all as well as He I have thought it my Duty by the Ensuing Meditations to cast my Mite into the Royal Treasury and by considering the Vicissitude and Uncertainty of all Sublunary States and Things to offer some Support under that weight of Sorrow which a Mind less Magnanimous than that of our Great Master would have sunk under long ago AND since the Holy Scriptures do inform us that Afflictions rise not out of the Ground neither does Trouble spring out of the Dust it will not be unnecessary to inquire into the Cause from whence our great and sore Calamities arise for as in the Case of a Diseased Body to know the Cause from whence the Morbifick Affect proceeds is accounted half the Cure so if by a thorow search we can come to know the Cause why it has pleas'd the Soveraign Majesty of Heaven to Bring and to Continue these Calamiries upon us it may accompany'd with the Divine Blessing go a great way towards the Removal of them There being nothing more certain than that the way to have our Offended Maker Reconcil'd unto us is To Search our Hearts and try our Ways and to turn unto Him against whom we have sinned and so may we hope He will have Mercy upon us and say to the Proud Waves of Affliction that have so long been rolling over our heads Thus far have ye gone but ye shall proceed no further and here shall your proud Waves be stopped For the same GOD that puts a stop to the Raging of the Sea can soon put a Period to the Madness of the People and bring back our Captivity as the Streams in the South NOW since the Loss of what we formerly Enjoy'd is that which makes us the most Uneasie and gives us the greatest Disquiet I will first Endeavour to remove it by giving you a Scheme of the Vanity and Emptiness of all those things and consequently that it is not worth our while to afflict our selves for the Loss of that which is so Fading and Transitory in its own Nature and when Enjoy'd in its greatest Advantages adds so very little to our happiness Which things are properly reducible to three Heads viz. Honours Riches and Pleasures which I shall distinctly consider in Meditations upon each And that what I write may be the more effectual to the End for which it is written I shall Address my self to the Divine Majesty for a Blessing thereupon A PRAYER O Most Gracious and Blessed GOD who art the Source and Fountain of
all their Worldly Glory to the most Abject Condition and cast as was threatned to Capernaum from the Heaven of highest Exaltation to the Hell of lowest Confusion BUT we have no need to cross the Seas for Examples of this nature our own Chronicles afford us fatal Instances Witness Edward and Richard the Second both Kings of England who found by a too sad Experience there was but a small distance between the Prisons and the Graves of Princes And to come nearer to our Times I need not question but there are many still alive who can remember Charles the First the Potent Monarch of Three Opulent and once Flourishing Kingdoms O'ercome by His Rebellious Barbarous Subjects and shedding at His own Pallace-Gates His Royal Blood upon a Scaffold by the Hangman's Hands This is indeed too sad an instance of the Uncertainty of Worldly Honours To see the Fountain of it thus barbarously Butcher'd under a pretence of Justice as if he had not been the Lord 's Anointed The very thoughts on 't fills my Soul with horror so that my Trembling Hand can hardly hold my Pen and I cou'd even wish my Head were Waters and my Eyes a Fountain of Tears that I might weep Day and Night for the Untimely Tragick Fall of this Illustrious Martyr and well may He be call'd so since He Dy'd for His so firm Adherence to the Church of England Yet neither the Sacredness of his Majesty which in His lowest Ebb of Fortune shin'd brighter than the Diadem He wore nor all His God-like Innocence were able to preserve Him from being made a Victim for His People nor hinder the Breath of our Nostrils the Anointed of the Lord from falling into the hands of the vilest of Men. Well therefore might Solomon say There is one Event both to the Righteous and the Wicked and that no man can know Good or Evil by any thing that is before him in this Life For we daily see the Race is not to the Swift nor the Battel to the Strong nor Bread to the Wise nor Riches to Men of Vnderstanding But Time and Chance happens unto all BUT whither has my Grief Transported me The consideration of the Father's Death has kept me from Deploring the unhappy Fate of His Son my Royal Master who is yet a fresher Instance of the Mutability of Worldly Honours who from all the Pomp and Splender of a Crown with which we have seen His Royal Head incircled has been forc'd to seek for shelter in a Foreign Country and live upon the Alms of others And that the Church of England who until now has had no Blot upon her shou'd be concern'd in such a Revolution even that Church for whom His Royal Father dy'd a Martyr is that which most of all amazes me BUT this abundantly confirms this Truth That no Estate of Man on this side Heaven is free from Mutability and Changes and sufficiently shews how vain a thing it is for any Man to place his Felicity and Happiness in Eminency of Dignity and high Exaltation since in the Twinkling of an Eye all humane Glory may be laid in the Dust and the Sun of Honour either Set or Eclips'd or Clouded in Ignominy and Disgrace as the hot gleaming Sun oft turns into a sudden Storm like the Honour of Proud Haman that was taken from Feasting with the King and Queen and immediately hang'd upon the Gallows AND as the slipperiness of Honour is always an Allay to the Enjoying of it and extreamly debases and lessens its value so likewise is the little satisfaction it gives us when we do Enjoy it What Content did it give Haman tho' he was the Kings peculiar Favorite and that his Seat was set above all the Princes of Persia and reverenc'd and bow'd to by all the Kings Servants So far was he from being Contented with the Honour that he had that he never Enjoy'd it it availed him nothing because Mordecay the Iew did not bow to him and give him reverence Honour is very apt unless it be kept within due bounds by supernatural Grace to puff up the Minds of Men so that they often forget both God and themselves They are ready to think of themselves above what they ought when they find that all Mens knees are bowing down to ' em Herod found Honour a very fatal thing to him when the People honour'd him and cry'd 'T is the Voice of a God! He was so impious to take that Honour to himself and gave not God the glory and therefore God soon made him know he was a mortal Man for he was immediately smitten with Worms and Dy'd and all his Honour was cover'd with the greatest Ignominy It indeed renders a Man more unsafe for the higher any Man is plac'd the more Enemies he has and the more he is liable to be attack'd yea the more obnoxious he is to those that seek his ruine The lofty Oaks are sooner ruin'd by the stroke of Thunder than the humble Shrubs He that stands upon a Pinacle tho' he may be gaz'd at by the Crow'd stands more unsafe than he that walks upon the ground and passes unobserv'd Solomon tells us That Honour is not seemly for a Fool and yet it oftentimes becomes their Portion When Men are laden with much Honour they have need to be well Balasted with Wisdom lest they be Over-set Besides what Satisfaction is there in those things of which we can have no Assurance of Enjoyment What Comfort can a Man take in a House when he is but a Tenant at Will and may be turn'd out at the Pleasure of his Landlord at an Hours warning What Content has he that Pitcheth his Tent on the Sand ready to be wash'd away with the rolling of every Sea And what greater certainty is there in Honours which like the Spokes of a Wheel are now Uppermost and immediately after at the Bottom How often have we seen the Sun shine bright and gloriously when the next moment thro' the interposing of some envious Cloud 't is muffl'd up in Darkness There also is another thing that makes Honour less Honourable and that is when it is not honourably obtain'd for if Honour be worth any thing it is when 't is the Guerdon and Reward of Vertue 'T was this that made at first a Difference among Men Those that had done great things for the Publick and deserrv'd well of their Country had a peculiar Mark of Honour put upon them as the just Reward of their Merits and this it was that made 'em truly Honourable But afterwards as Men degenerated more and more so Honour became Mercenary and thereby lost its Value And that indeed has been the chiefest cause of Envy's Lacquying after it For when Men were preferr'd above their Brethren whose Worth and Merit came far short of theirs they straight way Envy'd 'em as Men unworthy of the Honour they possess'd What Honour can we think that Man deseves who by Extortion and Oppression has amass'd together a
House of his Precious Things the Silver and the Gold and the Spices and the Precious Ointment and all the House of his Armour and all that was found in his Treasure But this thing was displeasing to the Lord who saw Hezekiah had his heart lifted up thereby and therefore he sends the Prophet Isaiah to him with this heavy Message Behold the days come that all that is in thine House and that which thy Fathers have laid up in store until this day shall be carried to Babylon nothing shall be left saith the Lord And of thy Sons that shall Issue from thee which thou shalt beget shall they take away and they shall be Eunuchs in the Palace of the King of Babylon Wou'd we know now how Hezekiah took this doleful Message Why instead of fretting against God or going about to excuse himself he resigns himself up to the good pleasure of God saying to the Prophet Isaiah Good is the Word of the Lord which thou hast spoken For there shall be Peace and Truth in my Days THE Fourth and last Instance I shall mention shall be that Illustrious One of our Blessed Saviour Who being under a sense of Divine Wrath in that bitter Agony and Bloody Sweat which he underwent for our Sins in the Garden and which none but himself could have born for it would have crush'd all Mankind into Nothing and all the Angels too to have lain under it he prayed to his Father saying If it be possible let this Cup Pass from me nevertheless not as I will but as Thou wilt Matth. xxvi 39. And in the 42d vers he went away again praying the second time and said O my Father if this Cup may not pass away except I drink it Thy Will be done And in vers 44. He prayed again the third time saying the same words THIS is indeed the greatest Instance of Resignation to the Divine Will that can be given And after such an Instance sure none can deny that it is a Christians Duty Nor is it more our Duty than it is our Priviledge For when our Wills are thus resigned to the Will of God there is no cross Accident that can surprize us nor no Affliction trouble us because we have given our selves up to his Disposal who best knows how to order all things for us and are secur'd in so doing that all things shall work together for our good THIS Resignation of Soul to the Will of God consists principally in an absolute Acquiescence to the Divine Pleasure in every State and Condition of Life whereby we are willing that God should chuse that Condition which he sees best for us whether it be Sickness or Health Life or Death Poverty or Riches Honour or Disgrace And this without Murmuring or Repining or Thinking we are not well dealt with or that we cou'd have provided better for our selves but on the contrary we ought to think our present Condition the best for us be it what it will because it is the Result of Divine Providence and this requires or supposes in us a stedfast belief of God's Governing the World and ordering all Affairs in it according to the Counsel of his own Will And he that by a stedfast Faith in God believing him to be the most Wise most Powerful most Just most Merciful and Beneficent Being has resign'd himself up to his Disposal is prepar'd for all Events and tho' he may lose Crowns Kingdoms Riches Honours Friends Relations and all things else which are look'd upon as outward Blessings yet he can never lose that inward Peace of Conscience and Satisfaction of Mind which the World can neither give nor take away The Soul's Expostulation CONSIDER O my Soul if thy Resignation to the Divine Will be so absolute a Duty what progress thou hast made therein and whether thou hast so given up thy self to the Will of God to be absolutely at his Disposal That thou art so is indeed unquestionable and so are the Devils too for notwithstanding all their Rage and all their Malice they cannot break those Chains of Darkness wherein they are bound to the Judgment of the great Day But they have not resign'd their Wills unto his but on the contrary do whatever they can to oppose it tho in Vain But O my Soul is thy being at the Disposal of Divine Providence the effect of thy Choice as well as of God's Power If it be so 't is what it ought to be But then what means this bleating of the Sheep and lowing of the Oxen as Samuel said to Saul in another case What means all this murmuring and repining at thy present Condition What means that hankering after those Honours Riches and Pleasures that thou Enjoyedst heretofore And thy present Uneasiness under the want of them Do'st thou believe that thy present Circumstances are the Result of the Divine Providence and what God thinks best for thee Then let thy Mouth be stopt for ever For nothing can be more unreasonable than to complain How preposterous is it O my Soul to pray to God Thy Will be done and yet when it is done to murmur This seems strongly to insinuate that thou art no further willing God's Will should be done than as it suits with thine which is the Reverse of what thou hast pray'd for Therefore O my Soul either leave off Praying Thy Will be done or cease to let thy Practice thus contradict thy Prayers Remember O my Soul that it is the foolishness of Man that perverteth his way and makes his heart to fret against the Lord. And take heed lest thy repining makes thee appear to be such a one Is it not far better to give up thy self to his Conduct by an intire Resignation of thy Will to his who better knows how to order thy Affairs than thou thy self do'st So may the bitter Draught of Affliction be made a wholesome Potion to thee whereby thou may'st Experience the Truth of Sampson's Riddle Out of the Eater comes forth Meat and out of the Strong comes forth Sweetness A PRAYER O Almighty and Eternal God who workest all things according to the Counsel of thy own blessed Will and whose Will is the Rule of all Righteousness Look down in Mercy upon a poor and worthless Sinner before thee whose heart was lifted up and forgot God in the time of my Prosperity and therefore thou hast justly depriv'd me of those Mercies which I did not Improve to thy Praise And since I would not serve thee in the fulness of all things it is but just I shou'd serve thee in the want of them And yet such is the Vainty and Deceitfulness of my heart that I am now apt to repine against thy Providence and fret against thee for what thou hast done instead of Kissing thy Rod and Submitting to thy Fatherly Chastisements O therefore be thou pleased to subdue this Rebellious heart of mine and by an intire Resignation of my Soul to thy Soveraign Disposal cause me to rest
in Oblivion and the Voice of True Peace and Joy be heard again in our Land Lord let us have that Religion which may make us happy in Heaven and that True Peace which may give Time and Leave to Enjoy that Religion And to that end let Power be Establish'd upon Righteousness and Employ'd for the Preservation of thy Church and People and then maintain that Power and them O Thou by whom Kings Reign who hast promised to make them Nursing Fathers to thy Church Grant us these Blessings to the Glory of thy Name the Quiet of our Lives and the Saving of our Souls Even for thy dear Son our Saviour's Sake Amen A Prayer for Mercy to the Nation O Lord we are a Nation not to be beloved a Nation ready to be ruined for our Iniquities and for our Sins thou may'st justly destroy us both Prince and People But spare us good Lord spare us for thy Mercy sake Let the Blood of Jesus Expiate all our Guilts and the Spirit of Jesus amend our Misdoings O thou who wouldst not have one Sinner Dye suffer not Millions of poor Souls to perish Be reconciled to us in a Meditators Blood and be the Reconciler of us in a firm and blessed Peace God of Pity and Peace be at Peace with us and make it for us Even that Peace which none can take from us do thou make us Partakers of O thou holy One of God who camest into the World to take away the Sins of it O thou Prince of Peace pity a poor Church and Nation ready to Perish Pity that Church that hath so long maintain'd thy Truth and Worship in the Nation Pity them who are ready to perish for seeking to maintain thy holy Truth and Worship in thy Church And do thou from Heaven Preserve It and Us and Them O thou that hast the Power of Heaven and Earth in thy hand who stillest the raging of the Sea when the Waves thereof roar and lift up themselves make bare thy holy Arm for our Deliverance O God make haste to help us for we are brought very low stir up thy strength and come and save us and make no long tarying O our God but deliver us for thy Mercy sake Amen A Prayer for those that are in great Distress and Danger O God of Power and Pity who hast promis'd to regard the Prayer of the destitute and not to despise their Cry Look down O Lord from thy Sanctuary from the Heavens do thou behold the Earth to hear the groaning of the Prisoners and to loose those that are in danger of Death Rescue them from the rage of Violence and shew thy self Merciful to them in this time of their distress O thou Preserver of Men And grant them all Graces and Mercies needful for the saving of their Souls And let them glorifie thee both in Life and Death and do thou glorifie them with Life Eternal through the Merits and Righteousness of Jesus Christ our Lord. In whose blessed Name I further beg for Mercy for all that suffer in these Times of Trouble Chiefly for those that are Destitute for the Widows and the Fatherless Let thy Mercy be extended to them in the daily supplying of their several Wants and Necessities Take them into thy peculiar Care O thou Father of the Fatherless and Judge of the Widow And be thou their Comfort Help and Succour for Jesus Christ his sake Amen A Collect for Grace O God I can ask no greater Gift than thy Glory and therefore beg no better Gift than thy Grace yea even this perfect is nothing else but that Nor can I come at it but by the way of Grace I do therefore for Jesus Christ his sake beseech thee bestow on me this blessed Gift Grace to do thee Service on Earth that thou may'st give me thy Salvation in Heaven through the Merits of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen A Collect for Peace O God my poor Soul is an humble Suitor for Peace the Blood of Jesus is my Plea thy Spirit my Advocate I deserve by my Sins Eternal Enmity but for thy dear Sons sake have Favour for me By whom the World is Attoned O let me be Reconciled to thee I know not how to pray this as I ought but thy Spirit can make Effectual Intercession for me Lord let thy Spirit move and thy Son make my Peace Subdue my Lusts Conquer Satan for me that my Conscience may have Peace with thee and I in it by thy Grace through the Mediation of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen A Collect for Health O Lord when I am Sick let me think I may Die when I am in Health that I may be Sick that I may not mis-spend the stock of my Life but do thee Honour with my Health and thou mayst give me Comfort for it in my Sickness Even this that Sin hath not bound me to my Bed but thy Providence hath cast me down which can and will lift me up or to Health in this World or to Happiness in a better Such an Enjoyment of Health give me I beseech Thee for Iesus Christ his sake Amen A Collect for Safety O Lord so many days as I live so many Lives I owe Thee Thou renewest my Lease every day A poor Tenant at thy Will I am and a frail Cottage of Clay by thy Power I keep Lord thou hast hitherto spar'd me still preserve me and let me pay as I can what I owe of Service the only Rent thou requiest for Tenement and Appurtenances Life Health Wealth and all the good things I have of thee for which thou both grantest Term of Life and givest Eternity This to that continue I beseech thee for his sake who was Surety and is sole Purchaser for me Iesus Christ our Lord. Amen A Collect for Friends O Lord graciously accept my Prayers for all my Kindred and Friends Do thou good unto them all O God To those that Err shew thy Truth and those that see it keep from Error To those that do amiss give Grace to do better and those that do well continue in so doing To those that are Afflicted give Comfort and Deliverance to those that Prosper Humility and Temperance Bless the Sick with Health and the Healthy from Sickness Supply those that want and let those that want not give Supply To all grant thy Grace O God and shew thy Mercy Let Love bind us one to another and Religion knit us all to Thee that all who are of Natural Kindred may meet in Heavenly Consanguinity Even so Lord let the Blood of Jesus run through all the Veins and the Spirit of Jesus go along with the Blood that the Glory of Jesus may be the End of us all And that hower we suffer and scatter on Earth we may Live and Joy together in the Bliss and Felicity of Heaven by the Union of that holy Spirit and Communion of that blessed Blood Amen and Amen A Collect for the Catholick Church O God of Peace send Unity
among all that Profess thy Name As they have but one Head let them be but one Body as they are but one Body let them have but one Spirit The Spirit of Truth and Holiness in Doctrine and Life be in all Cease Schisms and Wars in the Christian World Let them not Spill one anothers Blood for whom thy Son shed his Let there not be many Hearts under one Head nor more Heads with it least they make a Massacre in thy Body or a Monster of it O let thy Scepter have Obedience and thine Orders Observance every where Suffer none by Delusion or Depravation of Mind or Ambition of Spirit to pull down thy Throne whilst they pretend for thy Scepter and take down thy House to set up thy Glory and let Confusion and Tyranny into thy Church whilst they profess to bring in Liberty and Order From Violence Avarice Sacriledge Schism Herefie Anarchy and Tyranny O thou King of the Church do thou keep us Do thou Govern us and let us Obey thee Do thou save us and let us serve thee Even all Christian Souls save throughout the World Dear Jesus Amen A Charitable Prayer for Times of Affliction O Lord that do'st not willingly afflict the Children of Men Behold from thy holy Habitation of Heaven the multitude of Miserable and Afflicted Souls and Lives amongst us and have Mercy upon us HAVE Mercy on all Ignorant Souls and instruct them on all Deluded Minds and Enlighten them on all Seducing and Seduced Spirits and Convert them Have Mercy on all broken Hearts and heal them all strugling with Temptation and Rescue them All languishing in spiritual Desertion and receive them Have mercy on all that stagger in Faith and Establish them That are fallen from thee and Raise them That stand with thee and Confirm them Have Mercy on all that groan under their Sins and Ease them That bless themselves and go on in their Wickedness and Curb and stop them Iesus That did'st shed thy Blood for all Souls to save them shed thy holy Spirit on all and heal them AND Lord have Mercy on all Miserable Bodies Those that are ready to famish for want Feed them Those that are bound to Beds of Pain loose them Those that are in Prison and Bonds Release them Those that are under the Fury of Persecution and Cry under the Yoke of Oppression Relieve them Those that lie smarting in their Pain and Wounds Cure them Those that are distracted in their Thoughts and Wits Settle them Those that are in Perils of their Estates and Lives Preserve them Iesus That didst freely distribute thy Comforts and Cures to all Miseries and Maladies of Men when thou wast on Earth have Mercy on all and help them far or near with us or from us Lord have Mercy on all even every Son and Daughter of Adam at this time in Pain and Anguish upon the face of the Earth where-ever they are whosoever they be what Help I would pray for my self from Thee or Comfort from Man in their Condition I beseech Thee the GOD of all Help and Comfort to give it them Take them to thy Care and Tender them supply them and Succour them Have Compassion on them and heal them Iesus That didst give thy Blood for them deny not thy Bowels to them Thou that didst Redeem them all Preserve them Even all Miserable Souls and Bodies I beseech Thee for thine infinite Mercies sake Amen A Prayer against the Temptations of Troublesome Times O God who wilt not suffer us to be Tempted above what we are able to bear succour me that the Temptations of this Time of Trouble does not over-whelm me Discover to me the ways of thy Providence so far that I may see why I shou'd neither Deny it nor Doubt it And make me know thy Judgments to be so unsearchable and thy ways past finding out that I may humbly submit my Will to thy Wisdom and admire and adore that Justice which I cannot Comprehend Let me not be of so narrow a Mind as to confine thy Work to one World which Thou do'st not finish but in Two Nor let me be such a Creature of Sense as to believe thou hast no other Reward or Punishment than what I See and Feel O let my Eyes look to the End of all which is Heaven or Hell And let me Envy no Ill Mans Happiness which shall end in Hell Nor bewail any Good Mans Wretchedness who shall have Heaven for his End And let me understand that the Prosperity of Sinners is a heavy Plague because it spurs them on to Hell which is the greatest Punishment And that the Adversity of the Saints is to them a Mercy because it is thy Rod to whip them into Heaven the best Reward Mean while let me not give a Brest full of thy Peace for an Armful of that Wealth which breeds Nests of Vipers and Adders in their Hearts and continual Stings in their Bosoms But let me Prefer the Sufferings of Innocence before the Spoils and Triumphs of Violence O God since a guilty Conscience is the greatest Punishment on Earth because next to Hell and Accusing and Condemning thy Providence and Forsaking my Innocence the greatest Guilt To that Extremity let no Temptation ever lead me JESUS keep me from it by thy Grace and Mercy Amen The Concluding Prayer O Lord it is thy Promise to grant whatsoever I ask in thy Sons Name and thou wilt not perform less because I ask so in his Words In his Blessed Breviary therefore I sum and offer up these my Imperfect Prayers saying as he hath taught me Our Father which art in Heaven c. The Blessing GOD the Father Bless me GOD the Son Defend me GOD the Spirit Preserve Me and all Mine and His now and Evermore Amen EVENING PRAYER Psal. XLIV LXXVII LXXVIII or LXX LXXXIII XCVIII or CXXXVII CXL CXLI Proper Lessons 2 Chron. XIII or XX 1 Cor. X. or Iudes Eistle A Collect or Prayer against Revenge O Thou to whom Vengeance belongeth Keep me from a Revengeful Spirit that I fall not into the hands of thy Vengeance And since it is thy Will that I should exercise Pity and Patience and Pardon let me not study Revenge and Returns of Injuries What tho' I have lost my Estate wrongfully and been turn'd out of my Place for my Loyalty to the King yet have I not justly deserved it for my Rebellion against thee my God why shou'd I then Meditate Revenge against the Instruments whom thou O Lord hast made the just Executioners of thy will for my Deserts O help me rather to look unto thee who hast justly suffered these things to befal me for my sins than to study Revenge against those that have Injur'd me Thou O most Meek and Merciful Saviour didst pray for thy bloody Enemies O let me then forgive my greatest Foes Committing my Cause to thee who wilt do Justice for me on them if I seek not to revenge my self and for thy self upon me
if I do Thine O Lord is the Sword of Vengeance and thine is the sharpest Sword O let me not dare to take it out of thy hand Lest while I strike others I fall justly by thy Sword Tho' Flesh and Blood provoke me to it let thy holy Spirit withhold me from it And cast and keep out of me that Evil Spirit by thy Power O good God and Saviour for thy infinite Mercies sake Amen A Collect or Prayer against Malice O Thou Divine Goodness that wouldst not have me be of a Revengeful Spirit neither wouldst thou have me be of a Malicious Spirit and therefore O Lord be pleased to keep me from Malice which is the very Soul of Satan and Sin of the Devil Thou O God art Love but he is Hatred And if Malice be in me I shall be as he is even one whom unless thou hatest thy self thou canst not love Thou hast commanded that I should love my Enemies and wouldst not have me be malicious against them nor bear them ill will for what they have done to me but rather to pray for them yea tho' they use me despitefully thou wouldst not have me be despiteful towards them And therefore from such a hateful and damning Disposition O Lord Deliver me Let not Satan's Brand be on my Brest and his Soul in my Body lest being marked for him he seiz me as his own But O Lord do thou stamp me as thy own and set the Seal of thy Love on my heart that I may be owned by thee and have thy Badge continually upon me which is That we love one another O let me not wear the Devils Badge in a visible or secret Malice to any Make me O Lord a Child of thy Family a Dove of thy Flock without any Gaul or Rancor a Lamb of thy Fold harmless to all and not doing Mischief to any but delighting like thy Blessed Self to do good unto all Even for his sake who is holy harmless and undefiled who did good to all and Evil to none even Iesus Christ our Lord Amen A Collect for Grace O Thou that hast promised thy holy Spirit to them that ask it give me thy Grace O God that being strengthened thereby I may with Courage and Constancy Engage all my Spiritual Enemies and subdue them That I may pass my Pilgrimage here in thy fear and at last receive my Triumphs in thy Glory Through the merits of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen A Collect for Peace O God of Peace which art incomprehensible give me Thy Peace which passeth all understanding Let me so live according to thy Rule that I may have Peace with my Conscience and let me be so ruled by thy Will and Word that my Conscience may have Peace with Thee Lord make an Everlasting Peace with me and let me never do that which has any Tendency to break that League Dear Jesus Let it be Ratified and Confirmed in thy Blood and maintain it in me by thy holy Spirit Amen Amen A Collect for Health IT is the wonder of thy Providence O Lord that a Body subject to thousands of Frailties and Casualties every Day should Enjoy Health or Life an Hour yet through thy Mercy I have both at this instant Lord continue to me what I have and let me so improve it to thy Honour that thou mayst continue it and suffer me not by any Sin to provoke thee to take it away from me and to Smite me with Sickness Hear me I beseech thee for Jesus Christ his sake Amen A Collect for Friends O Lord it is Ioyful for Friends to love and live together on Earth but the Ioy of all Ioys to live with thee in Heaven I beseech thee let this happiness be the Portion of all whom thou hast made more Nearly and Dearly to be Mine Let us so live in thy Service that we may die in thy Salvation In the mean while what we want of any Earthly Good necessary for us Give us What is amiss and offensive to thy Heavenly Majesty in any of us Forgive us What is requisite to make us so to serve thee now that thou mayst save us then in thy Bounty bestom upon us Even Truth and Grace aright to See and Seek thy Face in Iesus Christ our Lord. Amen A Prayer for the Kingdom O Lord Our Distractions threaten Desolations to us Preserve us Our sins cry aloud for thy Vengeance upon us Pardon us Thy Mercies have been great to this Nation O Lord remember them Thy Deliverances of us have been many O Lord Renew them That Iniquity be not our utter Ruine give us Repentance The Guilt and Blood upon us Forgive Our Breaches Repair The Order which may bring Peace Establish The Government thou hast Establish'd maintain What is Iust and Right in thine Eyes set up What thou seest Evil cast down What makes the Nation miserable Remove What may make it happy Restore Lord for thy Mercies sake say We have been miserable enough and make us more happy Let the Light of thy Countenance shine again upon us and grant us thy Peace The Power and Authority which may procure it Preserve and those to whom thou hast given that Power Bless them to us and us in them and all in thee For Iesus Christ his sake Amen A Collect for the Church Catholick BEhold O God and Father of our Lord Iesus Christ I a Christian and Child of his True Catholick Church Pray thy Mercies on my Good and great Mother and all my Brethren and her Children in thee and thy Son For Errors amongst them send them Truth For Schism Vnity For Superstition Warrantable Worship For Confusion Order For Prophaness Piety For Variance Concord for War Peace That all may as one Body with one Mind and Heart and Mouth and Knee Believe Love Confess Adore and so serve Thee and Him whom thou hast sent Iesus Christ the Great Lord and Common Saviour of us all as thou mayst save us all in the World to come O Thou Head of the Church Save thy Body By thy Blood Cleanse it by thy Spirit Sanctifie it by thy Power Preserve it and every Limb of it dear Iesus Amen A Collect for the Church O Christ Head of thy Body the Church let not this poor Member of it amongst us Perish What it is Thou seest Lord with Pity behold us What it was thou knowest O Lord in Mercy Restore us Thy Primitive Order in Christian Truth and Worship for the saving of Souls which is cast down set up The Present Confusions Distractions Innovations Errors which are got up cast down Set up thy Glory O Lord amongst us And what is set apart to support it do Thou maintain and continue to us and our Posterities after us for Jesus Christ his sake Amen A Collect for Safety FORGIVE O Lord the Forfeitures I have made of thy Protection by the Wanderings of my Life And tho I have not been as I should a Dutiful Child yet be Thou O Lord as