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A02160 A quip for an vpstart courtier: or, A quaint dispute betvveen veluet breeches and cloth-breeches Wherein is plainely set downe the disorders in all estates and trades. Greene, Robert, 1558?-1592. 1592 (1592) STC 12301A.3; ESTC S105865 42,290 48

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A QVIP FOR AN VPstart Courtier Or A quaint dispute betvveen Veluet breeches and Cloth-breeches Wherein is plainely set downe the disorders in all Estates and Trades LONDON Imprinted by Iohn Wolfe and are to bee sold at his shop at Poules chayne 1592. To the Right Worshipful Thomas Burnabie Esquier Robert Greene wisheth hartes ease and heauens blisse SIr after I had ended this Quippe for an vpstart Courtier contayning a quaint dispute betweene Clothbreeches and Veluet breeches wherein vnder a dreame I shadowed the abuses that Pride had bred in Englande how it had infected the Court with aspiring Enuie the Citie with griping couetousnesse and the countrye with contempte and disdaine How since men placed theit delights in proud lookes and braue atyre Hospitality was left off Neighbourhood was exciled Conscience was skoft at and charitie lay frozen in the streets how vpstart Gentlemen for the maintainance of that their fathers neuer lookt after raised rents rackte their tenants and imposed greate fines I stoode in a mase to whome I shoulde dedicate my labours knowing I should bee bitten by many sithens I had toucht many and therefore neede some woorthye Patrone vnder whose winges I might shroud my selfe from goodman finde fault At last I cald to mind your Worship and thought you the fittest of al my frends both for the duetie that I owe and the woorshipfull qualities you are indued withall as also for that all Northamton●…hire reports how you are a father of the poore a supporter of auntient Hospitalitie an enimie to Pride and to be short a maintayner of Cloth breeches I meane of the old and worthie customes of the Gentilitie and yeomanrie of England Induced by these reasons I humbly present this phamplet to your Worship only crauing you wil accept it as courtiously as I present it dutifully and then I haue the end of my desire and foresting in hope of your fauourable acceptance I humbly take my leaue Your duetifull adopted sonne Robert Greene. To the Gentlemen Readers health GEntle Gentlemen I hope Cloth breeches shall fin●… your gentle Censors of this homely Apo●…ogie of his antient prerogatiues sith though he speakes again●…t Veluet breeches which you were yet he twits not the weede but the vice not the apparell when t is worthily worn but the vnworthie person that weares it who sprang of a Peasant will vse any sinister meanes to clime to preserment being then so proude as the foppe forgets like the Asle that a mule was his father For auntient Gentility and yeomanrie Cloth bre●…ches attempteth this quarrell and hopes of their fauour for vpstarts he is halfe careles the more bicause he knowes whatsoeuer some thincke priuately they will bee no publike carpers least by kicking where they are toucht they bewray their gald backs to the world and by starting vp to find fault proue themselues vpstai●…s and fooles So then poore Clothbreeches sets downe his rest on the courtesie of gentle gentlemen and bold Yeomen that they will suffer him to take no wrong But suppose the worst that hee should be fround at and that such occupations as hee hath vppon conscience discarded from the Iury should commence an action of vnkind nesse against him hee le proue it not to hold plea because all the debate was but a dreame And so hoping all men will merrilie take it he stands sollemnlie leaning on his pike staffe till he heare what you conceaue of him for being so peremptorie If well he swears to crack his hose at the knees to quite your courtesie If hardly he hath vowed that whatsoeuer he dreames neuer to blab it againe and so he wisheth me humbly to bid you farewell A quip for an vpstart Courtier IT was iust at that time whē the Cuckoulds quir rister began to bewray Aprill Gentlemen with his neuer chaunged notes that I damped with a melan choly humor went into y ● fields to cheere vp my wits with the fresh aire where solitarie séeking to solace my selfe I fell in a dreame and in that drowsie slomber I wandered into a vale a●… tap●…stted with swéet and choice fl●…wers there grew many simples whose vertues taught men to be 〈◊〉 to think nature by her wéeds warnd men to be wary and by their secret properties to check wanton and sensuall imperfections Amongst the rest there was the yellow daffadil a flowre fit for gelous Dottrels who through the bew●…y of their honest wiues grow suspitious so proue themselues in the end cuckhold Neretikes there buded out the checket●… Paunsie or partly coloured harts ea●…e an herbe sildome ●…éene either of such men as are wedded to threwes or of such women that haue hasty husbands yet ther it grew and as I stept to gather it it slipt from me like Tantalus fruit that failes their maister At last woondring at this secret qualitie I learned that none can weare it be they kinges but such as desire no more then they are borne to nor haue their wishes aboue their fortun●…s U●…pon a banke bordring by grewe womens weedes fenell 〈◊〉 fo●… flatterers fit generally for that Sexe sith while they are maidens they wishe wantonly while they are wiues they will wilfully while they are widowes they would willingly and yet all the●…e proud desires are but close dissemblinges Neere adioyning sprouted out the Courtiers comfort Time An herb that many stumble on and yet ouet slip whose rancke sauor and thick leaues haue this peculiar property to make a snaile if she tast of the sappe as swift as a swallow yet toyned with this prei●…dice that if she clime too hastily she fals too suddenly Mée thought I saw diuers yong courtiers tread vppon it with high dis●…aine but as they past away an Adder lurking there bit them by the ●…éeles that they wept and then I might perceiue certaine clownes in clowted shoone gather it ease of it with gréedinesse which no sooner was sunke into their mawes but they were metamorphose●… and loookt as prouidly●… though pesants as if they had béene borne to be princes companions Amongst the rest of these changlings whome the tast of time ha●… thus altered there was some that lifted their heades so hie as if they ha●… beene bred to locke n●… lower then stars they thought Noli altum sapere was rather the saying of a foole then the censure of a Philosopher and therfore stretcht themselues on their tiptoes as if they had beene a kindred to the lord Liptoft and began to disdain their equals scorne their inferiours and euen their betters forgetting now that time had taught them to say masse how before they had playde the Clarks part to say Amen to the priest Tush then they were not so little as Gentlemen and their owne conceipt was the Herralde to blason their descente from an olde house whose great grandfathers would haue bin glad of a new cottage to hide their heades in Yet as the peacocke wrapt in the pride of his beautious feathers is knowne to be but a