Nevvs from Hell Rome and the Innes of Court Wherein is set forth the coppy of a Letter written from the Devill to the Pope The true coppy of the Petition delivered to the King at Yorke The coppy of certaine Articles of agreement betweene the Devill the Pope and divers others The description of a Feast sent from the Devill to the Pope together with a short advertisement to the High Court of PARLIAMENT with sundry other particulars Published for the future peace and tranquillity of the Inhabitants of Great BRITANY By J. M. Printed in the yeare of Grace and Reformation 1642. TO OVR DEARELY BELOVED SONNE THE most Pious and most Religious Primate of the Romane Church and to all our dearely beloved Children the Cardinals and Lordly Bishops in Europe Haste Haste Poste Haste Your intire Prince and God of this world Lucifer Prince of Darknes and Superstition King of Stiks and Phlegeton Supreame Lord of Gehenna Tartaria Colmakia Samoyedia Lappia Corelia and Colmagoria Prince Abyssus and sole commander of Seeberia Alteenia Pecheora and of all the infernall furies and their punife the Jesuites Priests and Semenaries Sendeth Greeting MOst dearely beloved Sonne and you our dutifull Children whose sanctity we reverence whose persons we adore whose wisdomes wee admire at whose policies we wonder at whose power we muse and at whose invincible stratagems we stand amazed Nor can wee in the first place but extoll applaud and most highly commend thee our deare Sonne for the extraordinary care in the advancement of our Kingdome And as next in place the extraordinary diligent and vigilant care of all our beloved children the Lordly Bishops in the advancement of our Regall power to the great enlargement of our infernall dominions by their rare and subtill plots and stratagems And in a more speciall manner wee are pleased through our infernall grace and favour to extoll them for this their present and excellent invention in sowing discord amongst the English hereticks as also in provoking the Scots hereticks to an apparant opposition against their King yea so farre as to an invasion of the Territories of England all which services are most deare and acceptable unto us In respect of which services as also for their fidelity to us and our Kingdome we have caused our principall Secretary of estate Don Antonio Furioso Diabolo to make an especiall Inroulement of their names in our Calend amongst those our deare servants the plotters of the Gun-powder-treason and the most renowned the complotters of the former Invasion of England in the year of grace 1588. and since the creation of the world 5609. both which services although their events were no wayes answerable according to our Royall expectation yet those instruments that so freely adventured themselves in them shall be ever renowned in our court infernall and most acceptable to our person And for the better incouragement of these our trusty and wel-beloved servants in the speedier advancement of this worke now intended for the utter extirpation of all hereticks and increase of our regall power we are pleased by this our Royall manuell to give unto them assurance of our aide and best assistance in the most efficacious manner that our Princely power can extend unto And because our former stratagems put in execution by our beloved Cozen and Counsellor the King of Spaine were by him no wayes effected according to our Princely expectation Wee have now therefore imposed our Princely command upon our beloved servant the King of France at the humble sute made unto us by our children the Lordly Bishops and by some of our servants of greatest quality in the Realme of England as also by our servants the Jesuites and Romane Catholicks of England to have a puissant armie in readinesse for the Invasion of England at such a time as those our children and servants shall conceive it most convenient and efficacious And further our will and pleasure is that you our deare Son shall still persist to stir up and incourage our children the Arch-bishops as also the disciples and our loyall subjects and servants the Jesuites Priests and Seminaries to this worke that they with all their might together with our powerfull policies granted unto them may strive to effect this worke with all celerity that we may once more see our Kingdome of Superstition re-established in the Monarchie of Great Brittain and Ireland The motives to be pressed inducing them to the expeditious effecting of the same is principally their respect to our Kingly honour next their own increase of greatnes for we promise assure them by the word of a King infernall That every of them shall raigne as Princes under us not onely over the bodies and estates of men but also over their soules by and through the many infernall graces by us most freely and benignely conferred on them and hereby to make them the more sensible of these our severall graces conferred on them we are pleased therefore here at present to expresse but some few of them in particular as namely pride vain-glory hypocrisie selfe-love of themselves and of this present world love of will worship and advancement of Idolatry Together with that speciall gift of covetousnesse the onely pillar to all the rest of our infernall graces conferred on them Thirdly in respect of the cleare passage by us made for them by setting the hereticks for this long time at variance amongst themselves by our trusty servants the Lawyers and advancement of Idolatry amongst them The onely meanes in our Princely wisdome conceived to be to the breaking of the bond of unity and peace thereby to provoke the great God of heaven to leave them to themselves and to our powerfull stratagems We are likewise pleased to take speciall notice of that service done by our children the Lordly Bishops in working the dissolution of the assembly of Parliament in May last past 1640. by which meanes nothing was effected for the good of hereticks either concerning their Church or Common-wealth so as the successe of this designe of ours was thereby no wayes hindered you are likewise to let them know from us that the Noblemen of England be disheartered the Gentry daunted 〈◊〉 divided the number of our servants the Roman Catholicks infinitely increased and the Realme in generall greatly oppressed not onely by the sundry Monopolies but also by the invincible oppressing power of our children the Lordly Bishops the multitude of our servants the corrupt Judges base minded Lawyers seditious Atturnies and woodden-headed Doctors of our civill lawes Proctors Prothonotaries Registers Advocates Solicitors and Apparators whom wee have caused to swarme like to the Egyptian Locusts over all the land for the sowing of discord and blowing the coales of contention amongst all the Inhabitants of the same they having all of them long since received instructions by some of our infernall spirits sent forth from us to that effect You are likewise to let them know that out of our Princely respect to them
bribery extortion oppression injustice unmercifulnesse and with pervertion of all the statute lawes garnished with ship-money forrest-money lone-money and a multitude of Isoprises but this dish is by his majesties speciall order to be preserved for his owne peculiar palate Pope His majesties will be done I shall ever be ready obedient to al his majesties commands nor wil I presume to taste of it but onely passe my judgement on it that it is a Princely dish fit onely for his majesties table What is the next I pray my Lord Card. The next may it please your Holinesse is a large golden charger contayning a very great number of base-minded covetous unjust extorting and oppressing Lawyers who value every word by them uttered at a barre of Justice at a farre higher price then your Holinesse doth your Buls issued forth for remission of sins and these caterpillars his majesty king Lucifer hath brought into such great esteeme with all the Inhabitants of England as that no man of quality thinks his house to stand unlesse it be supported by one of those vermin pillars brood of contention this dish is seasoned with the spice of extorting fees from one 20 shillingspeece to 5 to 10. yea to 20 especially by those who are stiled the Judges favourites all this is given sometimes but for the speaking of two or three words it is likewise seasoned with the taking fees on both sides deluding Clyents spinning out the thread of an honest cause to its full length until the purs-strings both of Plaintife and defendant cracke and then they are tyed together by a commission into the country where these caterpillers are reverenced and feared like so many gods by all the people this dish is garnished with some 10000. pestiferous pettifogging seditious ten-groat-Atturnies one of whose perfidious bils of charges in one tearme advances it selfe sometimes unto the sum of 5 10. 20. yea 30. pounds especially when he finds his Clyent naturally inclined to the conditions of an asse And on every of these garnishes hanges five cony-catching deceitfull Solicitors properly termed lawyers-lime-twigs traps or nets to catch the poor silly creatures called Clyents and this dish his majesty hath also reserved for his own table Pope It is a Princely dish indeed and fit onely for the peculiar table of so great a Monarch as is our most damnable soveraigne King Lucifer the operation and vertue of which dish is able to season a whole kingdome to be fit meat for his majesties palate especially if there be but the operative spice added to it call'd the action of the Case But what is this dish my Lord Cardinall Card. May it please your Holinesse this dish containes a certain number of base muck-worms stiled Doctors of our Civill Law Chancellors and Officials this dish is also seasoned with the unjust spice of extortion oppression fraud and deceit and garnished about with a most damnable crue of Proctors Notaries Registers Deligates Advocates Sumners and petty Apparaters these have for many yeares proved notable instruments of strife and vexation unto the Inhabitants of England and through their deceiveable wayes have mightily oppressed the people being not much inferiour unto the precedent Golden Charger But to this dish may it please your Holinesse there hath happened this year a very great mischance in the cooking for when we thought it should have bin most Laudably boyled up to its greatest height of Catholick operation there happened a Spider to fall into it through a sudden blast of reformation which hath made it somewhat dangerous now for your holinesse to taste of for the Lamb that was most richly seasoned in it is now through this sudden unexpected misfortune putrified and the Duck being awatry foule is quite dissolved and this dish by his majesties speciall order is to be left now to your holinesse disposall Pope I am much bound to his majesty for his gracious favour to me herein I shall be very carefull through deliberation and mature consideration to study for the most fittest disposall thereof during the time of my vicegency here and then returne it againe to his Majestyes disposall But I pray you my Lord Cardinal what do those coper vessels contain Card. may it please your holinesse this covered messe is a gallimophre or as the Flemine cals it a Hutchpot wherin are sundry meats stued together it containes a certaine number of beasts called corrupt masters of the Chancery and halfe a dozen corrupt clarks of the chancery also 150. of their puny clarks commonly termed Atturnies in chancery it also containes 6 new Atturnies of the Court of requests and some 60 of their puny clarks this Hutchpot is seasoned with the spice of bribery false witnesses stiled Knights of the poste a spice greatly in request in those Courts especially in the examiners offices and the late Coventry affidavit office but his majesties speciall command is to have this covered mispreserved in its present condition least contention should cease amongst the inhabitants of England and unity and peace take place which cannot but tend much to his majesties detriment and losse of dominion in that Kingdome and to that end he hath caused the same to be sealed up and to be conveyed from Coventry to Manchester by the goulden-Finche Pope Good my Lord Cardinall I beseech you let his majesties will and pleasure herein be very carefully accomplished for it concerns much his majestyes honour and our safety But what is in this dish my Lord Card. This may it please your holines is likewise a Hutchpot contayning meates of sundry sorts and operations it containes a certaine number of Prothonotaries Registers and Clarks of the Star Chamber Chancery Court of Request Kings-Bench Common Pleas and the Exchecker this galimofre is seasoned with subornation of false-witnesses falsifying of orders and decrees it is garnished with the subtill practises of the renter warden of the fleet and his imphes as also with Kilvert kilfart kilbennet kill Bishop and the like instruments of Lawyers gaine the operations of this dish chiefly consists in the confusion of mens estates to extract Gold out of all mens purses to suppresse vertue and peace and to advance iniquity and contention to wrong and oppresse every man and to do right unto no man And this messe is also to be reserved for his Majesties Table Pope Good my Lord Cardinal I pray you let me taste of this messe the operation whereof by your relation appeares to be admirable I wish from my heart that I might also grow capeable of that vertue of extracting Gold out of the English nation as some of my predecessors have don before me I confesse the study of this Art was begun by my Phisition most laudadly but alasse and woe is me it was marred by a robustuous storme of winde out of the North and quite spoyled a vehement shower of puritanicall raine and what is the next messe my Lord Card. May it please your holinesse this is also a Hutchpot
their damnable actions for our honour We are pleased to take speciall notice of that service which they most willingly endeavoured to effect for the confusion of all the hereticks inhabiting England Scotland Ireland and the Netherlands by the late conceived Invincible Armado procured from Spain in the yeare of our raigne 5660. Which through the providence of the celestiall powers then over them and the disturbance of Martin Harper Trump here below failed of that successe which wee together with them expected and hoped for to our no lesse sorrow then theirs Nor can we but applaud the diligent care taken by our children and servants of greatest quality in that Kingdome in preventing the discovery of that Invasive plott by the hereticks and their small well-meaning State through their speedy flight to Dover Rode and private conference there with Don Oquindo the Generalissimo of Spaine to that effect All which was most exquisitely performed especially by our hispaniolized lack-latine Lord our dearely beloved servant And lastly our hope is that this present plot set on foot by these our trusty and well-beloved children and servants afore-named and by their earnest endeavours and our assistance once effected will crowne all our labours to our unspeakable terrestriall glory and their eternall favours by us to bee conferred on them in our Royall Pallace of perdition where we have already imposed our Royal command upon our trusty and wel-beloved cozen and counsellour Peter Tretyacove Chancellour Evane Becklemeesheve our Knight Marshall Richardo Slowe Treasurer and Don Serborus grand Porter of our said Pallace to give them free admittance into our Royall Presence Thus no wayes doubting of your singular care and diligence in fulfilling this our Royall will and pleasure hereby expressed we doe further impose our Royall favour and Princely respect to be by you presented unto our trusty and wel-beloved cozen and counsellour your present Nuntio in the Court of England as also unto our beloved children and servants the Bishops Jesuites Priests and Seminaries our faithfull agents in this invincible plot and also to all our faithfull subjects and servants the Roman Catholicks of England We are pleased to remaine your Royall Soveraigne and Patron of all your damnable plots and stratagems now in hand Given at out Infernall Pallace of perdition this first of September and in the 5661. yeare of our most damnable raigne Postscript Since the above-writtē we are credibly informed of the intention of a most scandalous Petition to be delivered by a small number of hereticall Lords unto their King at York which doth not a little touch our honour the discovery of this our present stratagem Our expresse will pleasure is that there be some speedy course taken for the suppressing of the same and the authors thereof severely punished and Pomfret Castle allotted unto them for their abode untill our will and pleasure be further knowne and this our designe be effected of which faile you not as you tender our Royall favour the successe of this our designe and your owne safety Farewell Antonio Furioso Diabolo Principalio Secretario Consider this and marke the substance well It seemes a letter from the Feind of hell What ere the form or method seeme to be Th' intent thereof was quite the contrarie Had not this rung a knell in some mens eares They 'd nea'r been freed from their slavish feares Of tyranny oppression and th' Bishops pride Judges and Lawyers a wicked crew beside Of Doctors Proctors that the Realm did sway Trod under foot Gods truth turn'd night to day Strove to confound Great Brittains Monarchy Justice and Truth pervert advanc't impiety And all by this Romes doctrine to prefer Obey the Pope and serve King Lucifer That is the cause why them he doth applaud That he thereby with them may have the LAUD And honour due unto his servants all That strive by him to worke Great Brittains fall A true Coppie of the Petition which was by the Lords presented unto the KING at York September the 12. 1640. To the Kings most Excellent Majesty THe humble Petition of your Majesties most loyall subjects whose names are here under subscribed in the behalfe of themselves and divers others Most gracious Soveraigne The sense of that duty we owe to Gods sacred Majesty and our nearest affection to the good and welfare of this your Realm of England have moved us in all humility to beseech your Royall Majesty to give us leave to offer to your Princely wisdom the apprehension which we others your faithful subjects have conceived of the great distemper and danger now threatning this Church and State your Royall person and of the fittest means to remove and prevent the same The evils and dangers whereof your Majesty may be pleased to take notice of are these That your Majesties sacred person is exposed to hazard danger in this present expedition against the Scottish Army and that by occasion of this warre your Majesties revenues are much wasted your subjects burthened with cote and conduct mony billiting of souldiers and other military charges and divers rapines disorders committed in severall parts of this your Realm by the souldiers raised for that service and the whole Realme full of feares and discontentments The sundry innovations in matters of Religion the oath of Canons lately imposed upon the Clergy and others of your Majesties subjects the great increase of Popery and imploying of Popish Recusants and others ill affected unto Religion are established in places of power trust especially in commanding of men armes both in the field in sundry other Counties of this your Realm which by the lawes they are not permitted to have any armes in their owne houses The great mischiefe that may fall upon this Kingdom if the intention which hath beene credibly reported of the bringing in of Irish and forraigne forces should take effect The heavy charge of Merchants to the great discouragement of trade The multitude of Monopolies and other Patents whereby the commodities and manufactures of this Kingdome are much burthened to the great and universall grievances of your people the great griefe of your subjects with the long intermission of Parliaments and the late and former dissolving of such as have beene called without the happy effects which otherwise they might have produced for remedy whereof and prevention of the danger that may ensue to your Royall person the whole state They do in all humility faithfulnesse beseech your Majesty that you will be pleased to summon a Parliament in some short and convenient time whereby the causes of these and other great grievances which your people suffer under may be taken away the Authors Counsellors of them may be brought to such legall tryal condigne punishment as the nature of their offences shall require and that the present warre may be composed by your Majesties wisdom without bloudshed in such a manner as may conduce to the honour