and euer wil be to thine honour from whom proceedeth al good If he I say stood need of gathering out of thy Soly Scriptures and the writings of holy Saints somewhat that might eleuate his mind to thee when he grew more cold by reason of humain frailty as he professeth before his Manuel whose words I wil heerafter bring in as being most sweet to me whaâ— need then hath my poor soul to gather together certain deuout and amouâ—rous words who scarsely in the reading thereof can lift vp my hart to thee but my hope is in thy Metcy whiâ—h is aboue al thy works and out of whiâ—h thou hast said by thy Prophet Men and beasts thou wilt saue To this Mercy I fly in this Mercy is al my comfort and consolation I cast my-self into the arms of this thy Mercy and Pitty I haue nothing wherein I can trust Some haue suffered for thee in their body others in their mind others in both Some for thee haue taken great pains and vndergon great labours and austerities others by couradgiously â—upporting disgraces and miseries haue become thereby most deare to thee others while they were afflicted and persecuted praied to thee for their enemies and therby procured pardon for their own sins But alaâ— my God as for me when I cast backe mine eyes vpon my life past I can find nothing done or suffered by me wherin I can hope wherein I can trust Al those things which I behold others daily to practise are far fromme I haue liued in this house of whom I may truly say Haec est generatio quaerentium faciem Dei Iacob This is the generation of those that seek the face of the God of Iacob vnmindful and vngrateful to the God of Iacob yea my whole life hath been ful of sin and iniquity and without end or measure haue my offences been against thee yea iustly maist thou condemn me to the boâ—tomlesse pitty of hel But yet I wil hope in thee I am sorry from the very bottom of my hart that euer I offended thee or straied from thee Behold I now consecrate my-selfa new body and soul to thee take away from my soul what therein displeaseth thee Al thy Angels and Saints be intercessors for me especially thy deare Mother the faithful helper and Aduocate of vs sinners TO OVR BLESSED LADY the Aduocate of sinners AL hail O Virgin crownd with stars and M one vnder thy feet Obtaine vs pardon of our sinnes of Christ our Sauiour sweet For though thou art Mother of my God yet thy Humility Disdaineth not this simple wretch that flyes for helpe to thee Thou knowst thou art more deare to me â—hen any can expresâ—e And thâ—t I do congratulate with ioy thy happinesse Who art the Queen of Heauen and earth thy helping hand me lend That I may loue and praise my God and haue a happy end And though my sins me terrify yet hoping stil in â—hee I find my soul refreshed much when I vnto thee fly For thou most willingly to God pâ—titions dost preseâ—t And dost obtain much grace for vs in this our baâ—nishment The honour and the glorious praise by al be giuen â—o thee Which Iâ—sus tâ—y beloued Son orâ—aind eâ—ernâ—lly For thee whom he exalts in heauen aboue the Angeâ—s al And whom we find a Patronesse when vnto thee we câ—l Amen O Mater Dei â—e â—ento mei Amen As also my good Angel S. Ioseph Saint Iohn Euangelist S. Martin S. Augustin S. Thomas of Aquin and thou my most holy Father S. Benet To our most Holy Father Saint BENEDICT MOst glorious Father in whose School I liue and hope to dye God grant I may obserue thy Rule for in that al doth lye For no perfection can be named which vs it doth not teach O happy she who in her soul the sense thereof doth reach But many praise Obedience` and thy humility And yet conceaue not as they should what either of them be The simple humble louing souls only the sense find out Of any discret obedient Rule and these are void of doubt Yea vnder shadow of thy wings they vp to heauenâ— fly And tast heere in this vaile of teares what perfect peace doth lye Hid in performâ—nce of thy Rule that leadeth vnto heauen O happy souls who it performe the ways so sweet and euen By Prayer and Patience its fulfilled Charity Obedience By seeking after God alone and giuing none offence The more I looke vpon thy Rule the more in it I find O do to me the sense vnfold For letter makes vs blind And blessed yea a thousand times Be thou who it hast writ And thy sweet blessing giue to them who truly performe it For those are they which wil conserue this house in perfect peace Without which al we do is lost and al that 's good wil cease And praised be our glorious God who gaue to thee such grace Not only him thy-self to seeke but also out to trace A way so easy and secure if we wil but thee heare To haue relation to our God who is to vs so neere For at this thou dost chiefly aime that God our souls do teach O if we did truly obey he would by al things preach His wil to vs by euery thing that did to vs befal And then as thou desirst it should he would be al in al O pray deare Father that he euer be our only loue and al eternally Amen Saint Scholastica S. Gertrude and in fine al in heauen or on earth that are pleasing to thee be pleased to make me partaker of their merits and praiers and aboue al wash me in thy pretious Bloud one drop whereof had been sufficient to haue redemed a thousand worlds In this is my hope and confidence by this I hope to be enriched with al that is wanting in me For in that thou art and possessest I more reioyce and exult then if I had whatsoeuer in earth or in heauen I could desire at my command In this ioy I cry out withal my hart with al my soul and with al my strengh O how much good and happines do I possesse seeing my God who is more my-self then I my-self am doth possesse so infinit Glory Maiesty and so infinit good things for indeed I haue and hold him more mine own then any thing that euer I had or held heertofore This is the comfott of my pouerty and the repose of my labour This my most delightful most amiable most bright and beawtiful and most Glorious God is always present with me to heare my praises and receaue my petitions In him I am rich though in my felf I am poore and contemptible To him my most louing God be giuen now and euer al Laud and Praise and Glory by al in heauen and earth for euer and euer Amen These Collections once more I offer to thee my God and those that in perusing thereof are moued thereby to loue and praise thee be they my Goâ— mindful of
of my death obtain for me wretched sinner confidence in his Mercies which are as thou knowst aboue al his works I am not worthy to loue but he is worthy of al loue and Adoration I cannot without great ioy remember these following words of the Prophet I saie hoping his Goodnes wil for his own sake giue me leaue to apply them to me poor and sinful soul though I desetuâ— nothing of my-self neuer hauing done him any faithful seruice in al my life Chap 43. v. 1. And now thus saith our Lord that created thee and formed thee Feare not because I haue redeemed thee and called thee by thy name Thou art mine 2. When thou shalt passe through the waters I wil be with thee and the flouds shal not couer thee when thou shalt walke in fire thou shalt not be â—uâ—ned and the flame shal not â—urn inâ— thee O blessed Saint make intercession for me that I may be confident in him who thus aboundeth with Mercy Amen 3. Because I am the Lord thy God the Holy one of Israel thy Sauiour 4. Since thou becamest honourable in mine eyes and glorious I haue loued thee 5. Feare not becaus I am with thee 6. And euery one that inuocateth my name for my glory I haue created him formed him and made him 8. Bring forth the blind people and hauing eyes the deaf and he that â—ath eares 9. Let them giue their witnes be iustified 10. In very deed you are my witnes saith our Lord and my seruants whom I haue chosen that you may know and beleeve me and vnderstand that I my self am 11. I am I am the Lord and there is no Sauiour beside me and there is not that can deliuer out of my hand 16. Thou saith our Lord that gaue away in the Sea and a paâ—h in the vâ—hâ—menâ— waters 18. Remember not former things and looke not on things of old I am he that takes cleane away thine iniquities for mine own sake and I wil not remember thy sins 26. Bring me into remembrance and let vs be iudged together Tel me if thou â—aue any thing that maiest be iustified Hethertho the words of the Prophet I saie S. Iohn 2. v. 12. I writ to you litle children becaus your sins are forgiuen you for his name And now my children abid in him that when he shal appeare we may haue confidence and not be confounded of him in his coming My dearest beleeue not euery spirit and euery spirit that dissolueth Iesus is not of God Feare is not Charity but perfect Charity casteth out feare Let vs therefore loue God becaus God loued vs. This is the Charity of God that we keep his Commandments and his Commandments are not beauty O infinit Goodnes who art Charity it-self powre thy Grace aboundantly into my poor foul I inuoke thee my God by the merits and intercession of al thy Saints in Heauen and seruants on earth to haue mercy on me now in this my last extreamity Al I desire is that in life and death I may be disposed of according to the multitude of tâ—y most aboundant Mercies a fountain neuer drawn dryâ— Al my ioy is in that thou art my God and that I am at thy disposing Though I am poor in al vertnes yet I am confident to be partaker of thy Merits ó sweet Iesus which thou liberally bestowest according to thy wil and pleasure O be thou blessed in al thou disposest O my God who art al I desire Into thy hands I commend my spirit who art blessed for euer Amen The most learned of D. S. Augustin saith Aiâ— eruditissimus Doctorum Augustinus O eternal Truth and true Charity and O aeterna veritas vera Charitas Deare Eternity Thou art my God to thee chara Eteruitas Tu es Deus meus I suspire day and night This is that subliue Tibi suspiro die ac nocte Hic est sublimis ille Contemplatiue Augustine Contemplator Augustinus Cuius cor Charitas Christi vulneraueraâ— whose hart the Charity of Christ had wounded O my deare Saâ—nt whose great Humility I can neuer to much praise and admire pray for her to whom thou hast been in her greatest afflictions and miâ—eries euen as a Father and Mother for which be exhibited honouur to thee by the most sweet hart of IESVS our Sauior the Son of the liuing God by which and from which doth most aboundant sweetnes flow to al the elect In the power that he gaue thee being one by whom he bound and loosed sinners giue an aboundant benediction to thy poore seruant and beg of my God that I may neuer seek or intend any thing for time or eternity but his honour and Glory and that I may so humble and subiect myself vnder his mighty hand thaâ— for his loue I may willâ—ngly submit my-self in what maner he pleases to al creatures Let me commit and commend my-self to thy protection who art a careful receauer of al my petitions and who art one who in a most particular maner Godâ— hath giuen me confidence in in al â—he necessities wherein my soul doth stand need of an Aduocat and friend O happy change to leaue al friends on earth to find the more certaiu assured friends and Intercessors in Heauen who are neuer absent neuer vncertain nor euer do they fail as those in this world are subiect to do Be therefor mindful of me I beseech thee in my life also in my last extremity and remember that when affrighted with the multitude and greiuoushes of my sinnes and imperfections I durst scarsely cast vp mine eyes to Heauen or cal vpon God and his Blessed Mother who might iustly disdain so vngrateful and contemptible a creature Yet by thy meanes and being incouradged by thy example and reading thy life and books so ful of Conâ—idence and sweetnesâ— I found my hart lightned and my spiâ—it refreshed and my soul exceedingly comforted finding in thee and by thee expressed what a good God we haue and that as his Mercies are aboue al his works so he is able to forgiue more then we can offend Thou knowest thy very name when I am sad and afflicted doth refresh me to behold it and seemeth to smile vpon me in my miseries assuring me of â—hy helpe in al my soul standeth need of thee in this my pilgrimage and ban shment from my God who is my only loue life desire and al my happines Tâ— whom for euer be al Glory Honour anâ— Adoâ—ation by al as wel on earth as in Heaâ—enâ— and whom by his sweet Mercy and thy intercession I desire and hope to loue and sâ—rue for euer and euer Amen Omnes qui habebant infirâ—os ducebant illes ad Iesum sanabaâ—â—ur Al that had diseased brought thâ—m to Iesus and they were curedâ— To whom therefor should I fly in my manifold infirmities but to thee my Iesus my Goâ— and my Sauiour Who is worthy oâ— our loues our thoughts our harts and our souls but
thee but if she presume any thing of herself what perillsâ— and danger she is subiect vnto and she apt to fall into none can conceaue much lesse expresse And to this effect of shewing a soul how to walk securely writeth thy great seruant the Author of the following of Christ in his 21. Chapter of his third book whose words with great ioy I read and before thee speaking too I will heere bring them in beseeching thee to instruct me in the true practise of them For they contayn the way in which a foole cannot erre and without the practise of this our soules lye open to all the snares of the Diuell thine and our enemy No instruction did she so much regard so frequently reflectâ—on or more volue and â—â—â—olve in her mind nor more delighted in â—hen this that followeth being meerly of â—er own finding and obsâ—ruing in the said â—ook which she was familiar in and no â—aruaile considering the excellency and â—ecessity of it for the purpose which she hath mentioned being the securing of one in a Spirituall course thus therefor doth he say â—peaking to her soule Super omnia in omnibus requiesces â—â—ima mea in Domino semper quia ipse est â—anctorum aeterna requies Da mihi dulâ—sâ—me amantissime Iesu in Te super â—mnem Salutem Pulchritudinem super omnem Gloriam honorem super omnem â—â—tentiam DignitateÌ„ super omnem ScieÌ„tiam Subtilitatem super omnes Diuitias Artes super omnem LaetitiaÌ„ Exultationem superomnem famam Laudem super omnem Suauitatem ConsolationeÌ„ super omnem Spem Promissionem super omne Meritum Desiderium super omnia dona munera quae potes dare infundere super omne Gaudium iubilationem quam potest mens capere â—â—ntire Denique super Angelos Archangelos super omnem Exercitum Coeli super omnia visibilia inuisibilia super omne quod Tu Dâ—us meus non esâ— Quia Tu Domine Deus meus super omnia optimus es Tu solus Altissimus Tu solus Potentissimus Tu solus Sufficientissimus Plenissimus Tu solus Suauissimus Solatiosissimus Tu solus Pulcherrimus Amantissimus Tu solus Nobilissimus Gloriosissimus super omnia in quo cunctâ—â— bona simul perfecte sunt semper fuâ—runt erunt Atque ideo minus est insâ—fficiâ—ns quiâ—quid prâ—ter Teipsum mihi donas aut de teipso reuelas vel promittâ—â— Te non viso nec plene adepto Quoniam quidem non potest cor meum veraciter requiescere nec totaliter contentari nisiin Te requiesâ—at omnia dona omnemque Creaturam transcendat Aboue all things in all things my soule thou shalt euer rest in God for hee is the eternall rest of the Saints Grante Mee most sweet and louing Iesus to Rest in Thee aboue all Creatures aboue all Health and Beauty aboue all Glory and Honour aboue all I owre and Dignity aboue all Knowledge and Subtility aboue all riches and Arts Aboue all ioy and â—ladnesse aboue all fame and Praise â—boue all sweetnesse and Comfort aboue â—ll Hope and Promâ—se aboue all meritt â—nd Desyre aboue all Guifts and prefents â—hat Thou canst giue and impart aboue all ioy and Iubilee that the Mind can reâ—eiue feele lastly aboue Angells and Archangells aboue all the heauenly Host aboue all things visible and inuisible and aboue All that Thou art not my God For Thou my Lord God art good aboue all goods Thou alone most high Thou alone â—ost powrefull Thou alone most full and sufficient Thou alone most sweet and comfortable thou alone most beautifull and louing Thou alone most noble and Glorious aboue all Things in whom all â—oods together are most perfectly haue beene and euer shall be And therefore it 〈◊〉 too little and not sufficient whatsoeuer Thou bestowest on Mee besides thy selfe or reuealest of tâ—y selfe or promisest whilst Thou art not seene nor fully obtayned For surely my Hart cannot rest nor be fully contented vnlesse itt rest in Thee and transcend all guifts and Creatures whatsoeuer All things desires and loues are vainâ— But only that which tends To God alone our cheifest good And all things ells transcends My soul therefor by this sweet Loue shall day and night aspire And rest in God all things aboue My Loue and lifes desire And while I liue I le neuer cease To languish for his Loue Breathing and sighing after him Till he my life remoue For since â— am not where I loue How can I comfort find But only in the song of Loue By Loue to me assign'd And where so ere â—his word is 〈◊〉 loue It yeilds a siluer sound But if that word I misse in it Me thinks I want my ground Nothing so simple can be pennd If it but treat of Loue But that it serueth in some sort My sadnes to remoue And shall my soul by senselesse loue Which yet is neuer true Bestow more loue where it is lost Then where 't is only due â— no my God but rather lett Such folly be to me A meanes to vrge my sinnefull soul To Loue more fernently And henceforth lett me draw no breath But to aspire by Loue To thee my God and all my good By whom I liue and moue No Stagge in chace so thirsty is Or greedy of sweet spring As is my soul of thee my God While I heere sighing sing My soul where is thy Loue and Lord Since him thou canst not find O cheere vp hart be comforted For he is in thy mind To him relation thou maist haue As often as thou goes Unto the closett of thy hart Thy griefs for to disclose As silly Lambes from rauening Woolues For help to Sheapheards fly So shall my soul in euery case For help and councell hye To thee my God by humble Prayer In hope and confidence That thou my Lord willt succour me And be my soules defence And seeing that my God is rich How can I say I 'm poore And hee more myne then I myne owne What can I wish for I more And in his Maiesty and power Much more I will reioice Thâ—n if of all in heauen and earth I had commaund and choice My God one thing alone thou know'st I feare and apprehend Which is my Lord for to displease Whose mercies haue no end From all that doth displease thyne eyeâ—â— Be pleas'd to sett me free For nothing ells in heauen or earth Do I dâ—sire but thee And lett me rather death embrace Then thee my God offend Or in my hart to giue thy place To any other freind Nothing would greiue my soul so much As in me to perceaue Any affection in the world That thine would me bereaue I know thou must possesse alone Or els we are not thine In such good plight as we should be If light to vs did shine As thou desirest it should do By grace our soules within For which
adhere to my God besides whom what is to me in heauen or what desire I on earth Only thy selfe my Lord is desired by me and only thou canst comfort and satisfy me It becometh me to become wholy subiect to thee so that for time and eternity thou maist dispose of me as it pleases thee which with my whole soul I beseech thee to do and then I â—hall be as happy as I desire to be Thou knowst that since I was taught what it was to loue thee I neuer durst wish or desire any thing For it appeareth plaine to me that my blindnes and ignorance is so great that euen in the desire of that which in it self is good I may be extreamly deceiued Only thy-selfe knoweth what is most to thy honour and best for me and therefor whatsoeuer thou dost shall be best welcome to me I desire no liberty to choose any thing besides thee because it suffiseth me if thou wilt become all in all and aboue all to me which desire I know is pleasing to thee and therefor I beseech thee inlardg my hart and soulin this longing and sighing after thee my only beloued Lett my hart be free to thee For none deserues any part therein besids thee O how great a greif would it be to me if any câ—â—ated thing should be an impediment to my being wholy thine Verily if I should find that my will were false to thee by desiring any thing but thee nothing in heauen or earth could comfort me while thus it stood between my hart and thee Giue me therefor grace to be faithfull to thee who hath shewed such an infinit mercy towards me as to lett me know of the way of Loue whereby all Crosses become tolerable to me Neuer shall I be satisfied with blessing thee and thanking thee for this thy Mercy All that loue thee praise thee for me who am not worthy to name thee Verily if I be now vngratfull to thee it is pitty thy earth should beare me Yet thou knowst my extreame frailty and therefor in all haue mercy on me and in the end saue me who putt all my hope in thee What shall I render for this thy infinit benefit bestowed on me Verily if I should be despised by all the world as I iustly deserue to be and should haue and feele the paines of all that euer haue suffered for thee and should be shutt vp in a place which were only big inough to containe me and were as vnworthy of them as indeed I beleiue and acknowledg my selfe to be debarred of the Sacraments by which such grace to soules is so abouÌ„dantly imparted by thee and were held for a reprobate by all that are most esteemed and respected by me yet this were little to endure in requitall of this benefit which I haue heere recounted before thee and which I read with so much ioy that it is a solace to me in those difficulties which are only known to thee and which would if I were not exceedingly holpen by thee quite ouerwhelme me for as it is well known to thee they do oftentimes make all my strength decay so that I seem to be left without so much as is sufficient to go euen about the house But when I haue been thus dealt with by thee I haue been withall enabled more feruently to praise thee And thy intention by it was apparant to me For by it thou didst so abate pride that was most strong in me that all I could haue done or deuised or all other creatures with me could not so much in many yeares haue humbled me and haue bread such a contempt in my soul of resting or taking delight in any thing which was lesse then thee Thus my God thou dealest with me who as I haue often said am not worthy to name thy Maiesty and I see if we will but giue our selues wholy to the seeking after thee and dispose our selues to suffer whatsoeuer it shall please thee we shall not need to take care for any thing but how to please and praise thee For thou willt prouide Crosses such and so much as will be sufficient to make vâ— becom that thou wouldst â—aue vs to be and in those of thy sending there is no danger if we will endeauour to be faithfull to thee and in them call often vpon thee But when we place such perfection in suffering that we think we do nothing vnlesse we be in matters of suffring and are as it were loath to loose time as we think we do by being without occasion of suffering we oftentimes faile in those Crosses which â—e in such an humor do lay vpon our selues or thrust our selues into without thy leaue and disable vs from vndergoing and suffering those which then or afterwards are by thee thought to be fitter for vs and we seeing our selues to faile in these of our own vndertaking which we made our selues sure to be able to stand vnto grow to be deiected yea sometimes euen so farr as to mistrust all the course we had held before For we remembring we endured greater matters before being of Gods sending and through his grace presumed now allso of that strength which then we had which was not as we conceiued ours but our Lords who rewardeth no works but his owne If we will therefor in all liue secure lett vs desire nothing no not euen to haue matter of suffering saue so farr as it shall be his pleasure For certainâ—ly to suffer for him is so great an honour that one may iustly esteem herself vnworthy thereof and yet it is a thing so necessary to aduance vs in the way of Loue that we need not doubt but God will prouide it when he sees it fitt and when he doth send it come it which way it will it will be no impediment to a faithfull soule but her only way in this as well as all other things for to liue secure is to be as a little child by humble Resignation and lett God do with vs in all what he will For only by this meanes we can liue in Peace auoid the snares of selfe loue and the diuell For a soul that is apt to esteem greatly of a little suffering and thinketh when she hath in it a slight occasion that it layeth open the way to great matters between God and her soul God vseth to lead her by another way till she see and acknowledge her errour and many times she falleth into sinn and imperfection by her greedines to aduance her soul by vntimely suffering which at last maketh her cry out to thee O Lord how great is my blindnes and frailty help me therefor my God in all these miseries which heere thy sinnefull seruant speaketh of as a guilty person to thee Great great is my folly and frailty and therefor for help and strength I fly vnto thee spare my soul sinning before thee and lett me now begin to loue only thee help me in all my Lord
thou hast made is good if it be put for that vse â—or which thou madst it Do not we see that euen Spiders and Serpents do draw the venom from the earth both for the purging it and also for a farther vse that man therof maks and yet these to our seeming are of the least worth as to good among thy creatures But it is our mis vsingâ— abusing and mis-applying thy creatures that makes the world turn vpside down The hail thunder storms rain snow did the three Children in the furnace inuite to praise thee as good in themselues being made by thee But nothing is so good in this world but it may be peruerted and abused For if man whose soul was made by thee in such purity by sin becometh so foul how can this choose but breed disorder in the world al things therein being giuen by thee to be disposed by him and vsed by him as â—â—lpâ— to â—â—rue thee while we liue heer But ô my God I wil speak to thee and I wil cal vpon thee who art Wisedâ—m it-self If thou smile at my folly yet behold me sinner and instruct me in thy Law which is sweet aboue al delights of the world and to serue thee for loue is that which I only desire In al my miseries and afflictions of body and soul thou despisâ—st not any soul flying to thee and dilating my-self to thee I do comfort and strengthen my hart which aspireth to nothing as thou knowst by this my speaking to tâ—ee but to ease my soul by begging help of thee and declaring to thee my only friend my sins and miseries For if we fly from tâ—ee whither go we but out oâ— one darknes into another Who can discouer our wounds to vs but thy-fâ—lf who when we acknowledge them dost also cure the languishing diseases of our very souls O in thy light let me see light that so al impâ—diments may be remoued between thy Godnes and my souâ— My â—oul can neuer return to thee til it â—e purged and purifyed by graceâ—nd â—nd Mercy Of my-self I can do nothing Thou therefor that madst and redeemedst me saue me who euery moment should perish if I were not assisted by thee I see nothing or hear any thing but it giueth me new cause to praise thee and to seek thee aboue al gifts graces and creatures Grant me therefor to serue thee in that maner thou wouldst be serued by meâ— For I am not able to do any thing good of my self Let me by Humility and truâ— obedience return to thee from whom for my sins I deserue to be separated with the diuels eternally but thy Mercy which is aboue al thy works pardon me and giue me Grace to liue better heerafter O my God me thinks some times I haue so liuely a feeling of my own nothing and see so plainly that we depend wholy of thy grace and Mercy that I wonder how it is possible I should anâ— more be able to presume of my-self in any thing whatsoeuer But alas this passeth away and like dust carried away with the winde so is my soul with vanity In which my sin and misery I groan to thee from the bottom of my soul who art my helper and my deliuerer from al mine enemies wherof the greatest is my self and to thee I declare my iniquities which are without end or measure to the end I may glorify thee the more who shewest mercy to me and reiectest not the most disloyal of al thy Maiesties seruants For which let heauen and earth praise thee seeing I am not able by any thing to shew gratitude to thee For I caÌ„ do nothing but declare thy Mercy and beseech thysâ—lf to supply my defect in praising thee For thou only canst do it as I desire it should be done The very Seraphins are too short of being able according to thy worth to praise thee and al thy Angels and â—aints accompt themselues as dumb in comparison of thy deserts from them For al thy sweet Mercy be thou thereâ— for by al not as able but as willing to praise tâ—ee magnifyed for euer and euer Amen THE XLII CONFESSION O My Lord and my God If none haue much forgiuen them but those that loue much what wil become of me This day we read in our Office that Saint Marie Magdalen coming to thy feet which she watered with her reares heard that comfortable answer from thee to wit Go in peace thy sinnes are forgiuen thee but it was out of this regard that she loued much This answer thou madst to her whose hart in silence spoak vnto thee doth much comfort my sinful soul. But yet when I remember how void I am of that which was the necessary disposition for her soul to hear those comfortable words thy sins are forgiuen thee go in peace it draweth teares â—rom mine eyes to see how far my soul is destitute of that pure loue which preuaileth with thy diuine Maiesty What shal I say What shal I do Or wherein shal I hope I am not fit to plead for my-self my sinnes indeed are so many and so great and as for the loue which only thou desirest behold my soul is destitute of it For if I haue any towards thee my God it is but a sensible childish loue which is a loue little beseeming the bestowing vpon such a God who is al Good Beawty Wisedom yea euen Goodnes and Loue it-self to whom is due a loue which is able to suffer al things for this loue is a strong loue more strong then death it-self the which kind of loue is far from me who am blown down with the least blast of temptation and cannot endure any disgrace desolation or difficulty whatsoeuer as it beseems a true louer of his But notwithstanding my poueâ—ty and misery yet I wil hope in him and wil approach to his feet who is Mercy itself There my Lord and my God I wil in filence sigh and weep both for my sinnes and for my defect in louing thee who art worthy of al loue and Praise whatsoeuer There I wil beg this loue so much to be desired There I wil wish and long for itâ— and from thy feet I wil not depart til thou denounce to me thy sins are forgiuen thee and saiest to my soul go in peace This voice I long to hear in my hart that I may with the voice of exaltation praise thee for euer Amen THE LIII CONFESSION AMen Amen dico vobis quia receperunt mercedem suam Math. 6. Amen Amen I say â—nto you they haue receiued their reward These thy words my Lord and my God come into my mind so often as my thoughts dare to think of hauing deserued any reward at tâ—y hands and serue as a motiue to subiect my soul totally to thy diuine Maiesty before whom now I do professe and acknowledg that my desirs and endeauours are so defectiue in comparison of what is to thee due from me that I may and
vnto thee who art my hope from my youâ—h and am displeased with my-self for hauing been so vngrateful to thy sweet mercy acknowledging before Heauen aâ—d earth that nothing is iust but that which thou disposest and nothing is wel done saue so far as it is done by thee so much as any thing I do or say is only of mine own wil and desire so far it iustly deserueth punishment to thee be al glâ—ry In nothing is true Peace but in seekâ—ng after God aâ—one and in resting â—n him aboue al his giâ—ts O my God when shal I be able to say Quis me separabit à Charitate Dei VVho shal separate me from the Charity of God O when shal I by true loue become vnited to thee the only desire of my hart and soul Vsquequo Domine obliuisceris me in finem Vsquequo auertis faciem tuam à me How long wilt thou forget me vnto the end Hâ—w long doth thou turn away thy face from me wilt thou for euer be angry with thy poor seruant Behold thou knowst I desire no other comfort vpon earth then to be able without offending thee to liue without al comfort human or diuine O how litâ—le to be esteemed is al the solaces this world can afford The wicked haue been telling me of their delights but they are not like those of thy Law What comfort can any creature lâ—uing afford a soul that sigheth and longeth after thee alone my God and is bannished from the beloned of her soul Verily my God it is only thy-self that can reioyce and comfort such a soul thou only art sweet and al things compared to thee are as nothing and lesse then nothing O my Lord and my God tel me is there any thing in Heauen or on Earth that can satisfy my soul besids thee No certainly Why then dost thou permit me thus to wander from thee who art only worthy to be desired and beloued by my soul O my most deare God who can comprehend the misery that soule suffereth that taketh comfort or desireth any comfort from any creature O how long shal I be subiect to this mysery of inordâ—natly louing thy creatures so that it is an impediment to the louing of thee my Creator who art the supreame Good To thee alone is al loue due and we do steal from thee when our affection is willingly caried to any thing els whatsoeuer O my God my Mercy let vs loue thee as thy diuine Maiesty who art Lord of al things in whose power al things do stand let me I say loue thee as thou wouldst be beloued by me O my Lord as-long as the peace of my soul dependeth of men I can neuer repose in thee or â—ind thee in the bottom of my soul What came I into Râ—ligion â—or but to loue and praise my God my Lord and al my good O when shal I as I desire loue thee and please thee my God and al my desire O my God how cometh it to passe that thou whose mercies are super omnia opera eius Aboue al his works shouldst be now tearmed to be terrible and hard to be pleased Verily I am a sinner and the greatest of al sinners and yet I haue found thee so good and easily pleased that nothing is more pleasant then to serue thee for loue and to beare thy yoke from our youth The yoke of sin is heauy but thine is sweet aboue a the contâ—ntments and pleasures of this world Let those that seek not thee and that desire any thing willingly but thee feare and return to theâ— but let the harts of them that loue thee reioice O Lord. But can I say I loue Verily not I. But shal I for this feareâ— No my God at least not so as to loose confidence which hath in it a great remuneration For seeing by thy grace I desire to loue and to leaue al for loue I wil hopâ— in thy Mercâ— let it assist my extreame frailty anâ— pouerty Of my-self I am nothing but in thy power I shal be able to do al things Thou knowst that I desire to leaue al for thy sake and that if I knew any thing that I loued to the impediment â—of my truly seruing thee it would be so greâ—t a gâ—eif to my soul that nothing in Heauen or earth could comforâ— me til I see my-self freed from that miserable bondage by thy aâ—â—isting Graceâ— which I implore from the bottom of my soul Set me free I mosâ— humbly beseech thee by the multitude oâ— thy Mercies from the sinnes into which I daily fal through my frailty remoue al impedâ—ments between my soul and thee for I am frail aboue al measure Let me liue to thee dying to al other things whatsoeuer Let me find and possesse thee in the bottom of my soul Let al creatures be â—ilent that thou alone maist be heard by me And I wil not trouble my-self with them without who are puffing and blowing and thereby raising vp the dust of multiplicity into their own and others eyes Let me enter into the most retired place of my soul and sing loue songs to thee my Al and only Good regarding thee with the simple eye of my soul and sighing out certaâ—n vnspeakabe groans in this pilgrimage of mine into the eares oâ— the only beloued of my hart and soul wo is me that euer I offended such a God! Be propitious O Lord vnto my sin for it is great O Mercy which hath neither end nor measure haue pitty on me and forgiue me my sins Amen God! Let thy Truth and not the blindnes of my own ignorance speak to me Speak Lord for thy seruant heareth or at least desireth to hear thee Behold I set open the eares of my soul that I mny heare my beloued speak Iustice and Peace to my hart For thy voice is sweet and thy face comely and there is none like vnto thâ—e in Beawty and wisedom Thou my God the repose of my labour the ioy of my soul and the comfort of my hart Be to me al in al and aboue al which can be enioyed ot desired Let me O let me rest in thee and in no created thing whatsoeuer Simplify my soul that it may be able to adhere to thee my God transcending al created things O when shal my soul forget al and only be mindful of thee the most pure spirit resting in thee aboue al thy Graces and Gifts O when shal I be by profound Humility reduced to the nothing which only makes a a soul capable of thee who art al good things who art that simple good in which nothing is wanting How long shal I glory in any created thing and seek my-self to the dishonour of him with out whom I could neither haue life nor being much lesseâ— to be able without him to do any thing meriting grace and Saluation O my God when wilt thou set me free that I may glory in thee alone and not by pride exalt
then haue thus displeased her beâ—â—ued whom alone she desireth intendeth thirsteth aâ—ter and to whom to adhere in here she putteth al her coÌ„tent happines Al he doth and permitteth seemeth mosâ— iust and reasonable to her and to liue interiorsly and exteriorly according to the right Rule of his iustice is al she desireth These are they which our Sauiour said should Adore â—im in Spirit and Truth and of whom it is said Al the glory of the soâ— is within for the Kingdom of God is withâ—â— vs such a soul may truly say I wil hearâ— what my Lord God saith within me Thâ—â— my most sweet Lord God be euer adored and praised and sought after by vs al anâ— blissed and praised by al in Heauen anâ— earth for euer and euer Amen Thaulerus saith that it is as easy for oâ— that hath an aptnes for an internal life anâ— wil be diligent and obseruant in it 〈◊〉 note obserue and discerne the diuine 〈◊〉 within him as it is for one to discerne 〈◊〉 â—ight hand from his left And it is plain 〈◊〉 our rule that our holy Fathers desire that souls should obserue their internal 〈◊〉 and the tracts of the diuine spiâ—it who is thâ— proper Maistâ—r of the interior And it but a meere natural course that we can 〈◊〉 by the meere instruction of man frâ—â— whom only we haue our first help aâ— instruction and then the souls capable 〈◊〉 liuing a true internal life are to be referred to God the only Teacher of the way of spirit And where it is obiected by those who pretend to be spiritual that following the diuine Tracts Moâ—â—ons and Cals is perilous dangerous and without al warrant or security It may be answered supposing alwayes an aptnes in the party that hath the instructions that as the power of God surpasseth the power of man so the warrant security of God which a true internal liuer findeth from God is far beyond the warrant of a mortal man the warrant of one man being contradicted by another that from God is able to stand in al the contrarieties changes and opposiâ—ions which happen out of the differing of al men in indifferent things for as for other things God referreth the soul to the ordinary means he vseth in those cases As for example for confession of mortal sins she most confesse them to a Pâ—iest who hath iurisdiction ouer her and for a true doubt she must not presume that he must resolue her by him-self but she must aske according to discretion and obedience and for her rule and other obligations of Religion she must obserue â—hem out of Obedience to God and suâ—eâ—iors which being done and also going and walking the way of the cros what warrant I pray you wil she need after her conscience is once wel setled from confessor or Superior Wo be to those at leaâ—t wo in this respect that haue a confidence rather in men then in God And those that praise so much the security of a soul that hath no other confidence in God at her death but so far as she is warranted by heâ— Confessor for she cannot but by this means dy perplexed and troubled For toâ—day I haue a Confessor which wil warrant meâ— and to morrow another who wil doubt of my case To day I haue one so precise that he wil warrant me in nothing and to moâ—â—ow I haue one who thinketh he can pearse so far into al things that if I wil adhere vnto him and no body els he wilâ— answer for al. He goes away and another who must assist me at my death comâ—th who is of a good meaning but cannoâ— pearse so far as the other He at first finding vs to feare feareth too We haue forgot our couradg vpon the others warrant going before and fal into feare with him at the present And yet ouâ— soul doth not alter before God aâ—cording to euery ones apprehension we meet with if it dâ—d or if this were al the certainty that were to be found between God and our souls in Religion we might bid al true confidence à lieu I meane those only who are apt for an internal lifeâ— for as for others I do not take vpon me to know their case and place our peace vpon that which is as changeable as the moon to wit the humours and opinions of men in indifferent things I haue had my-self a Confessor who though he had the largest conscience that euer I knew good man haue in my life in what he pleased yet out of the difficulty he had with me in his nature and out of his aptnes thereby to take al I did and said in another sense then I meant it he could and did turn twenty things which my other Confessors made no great matter of into horrible mortal siâ—s and would haue frighted me â—rom the Sacraments til I had setled my conscience according to his wil and mind VVhat was I to do in this case I hâ—d been warranted by three former Confessors two of which were my cheif Superiors Doctors of Diuinity and now this present wholy doubted my case he had as he pretended agreaâ—er reach into my case then al the rest and they were simple to him in discouering truely the state of my soul. But should I in this case put my soul into hâ—s hands who desired to know al that haâ— passed â—n my life to informe him in some things he desiâ—ed to know â—out of pollicy thereby also to tye me to him self more absolutly Verily if I had thus put my-self on him I had done great wrong to God and I might haue bid farewel to al true peace hereafter but standing to my former warrant and giuing him the respect was due to him and being reserued towards him I haue hitherto God be praised kept my-self out of his fingers And also by the grace of God hope to hold on my way in tendance towards God thereby raising my-self according as his diuine Maiesty shal vouchsaf to enable me out of my natural feare to the lout of God Who is only able to satisfy and satiate our soul. And not as this my Confessor would haue had me to plunge my-self by reason of his words and threats of my miserable state which notwithstanding his apprehensions is so much and no more as it is in the sight of God who changeth not his opinion of vs as the humour of the Confessor may be but imagineth vs according to what we really are in very truth But these spiritual men of this kind would be so absolute that there is no power left in the soul thus vnder such to haue relation or confidence in God whereby those for the most part vnder them if they be poor simple women of how good spirits soeuer liue miserable deiected liues for it is their only way to bring their politicke and absolute gouernment about And ordinarily vnder this pretence they do it saying that there is no way
it is his wil that in al those things as wel as in meere internal the soul should simply regard him and that as absolutly as if he by him-self had bidden or commanded her Neither doth such a soul regard who or what or in what maner God requireth it at her hands but it suffiseth her that it is he that exacteth it of her whom she in simplicity of spirit endeauoureth to regard in al things with out any mean of creatures Which maketh the soul indifferent whether she were commanded by an Angel or a worme if it were Gods wil rather to command her and signify his wil to her by the worm not that she esteemed not of the Angel in a far higher degree but becaus she would not make any thing her obiect or do any thing out of any other respect then to conforme her-self to the diuine Iustice in al things and regard him alone in al she did or omitted And câ—rtainly let a soul be persuaded or persuade her-self what she wil as a means to arriue to perfection she shal neuer find true peace if she be of a contemplatiue spirit and be not defectiue in her natural iudgment but by following the diuine cal and regarding that in al she doth or omitteth and though she do al that Superiors command yet to do it with as little regard of them and as much of God as if he had immediatly commanded her by him-self And so much as God shal by his grace concurring with her care and diligence enable her to work in this obseruation of the diuine cal so much the more light she shal haue for the obseruing of it so much the more profit and peace wil she find in her own soul and so much the more shal she walk according to the Iustice of God of which how much the more our works do pertake so much are they worth and no more for as Tauâ—erus saith God rewardeth no works but his own VVhere it is said in our Constitutions that after our profession we haue not so much as powre ouer our own bodies or souls I vnderstand it that by the very nature of our profession we are so bound to tend to Perfection that we should do nothing but in regard to God whose wil we haue â—here professed to choos for our own and whose Iustice we wil with al diligence perform let him signiâ—y it by what whom and in what mâ—ner hâ— please without any regard of our own profit or commodity for time or eternity and certainly in this sense Obedience cannot be too much commended But let our actions be neuer so much commended and applauded by our Superiors and al others if it go not right between God and our souls it wil be but little to our comâ—ort or profit And if we reflect vpon the circumstances of the Superiors command whâ—reby wee may obscure that regarding God in our souls we shal neuer become perfect in Obedience For as S. Paul saith Powre was not giuen for distruction but for edification and applying it performing it and exacting it in an other maner then as it was meant and ordained by God in and by our Religious Profession is the reason that so few become pâ—rfectly Obedient for by making our Obedience to regard Superiors in the first place for example to trouble and perplexe our-â—elues in thinâ—ing it must be done with this circumstance and this maner and at this time and diuers other circumstances little to the purpose or els I shal not performe my Obedience in perfectâ—on This is to tire out my-self and make my-self weary of Obedence and not to serue God with alacriâ—y and â—hereâ—ul willingnes This is to find his yoke intollerable and not sweet and easy which certainly if it be not to vs it is our own fault and not his For he hath set such order and measure in al things that the more they are done according to his wil the more easily are they done for he is far from being the Author of disquiet and confusion His spirit iâ— Iustice and Peace and Ioy in the holy Ghost And it is we that by our prepostâ—rousnes do peruert his Iustice and cause that effect in our souls by that which we pretend he exacts And so as sir Thomas More saith the vrchin wench goes whining vp and down as if nothing she did or could do for some circumstance or other which was wanting in it did please Hâ—m VVâ—â— yet indeed is so easily pleased by those of good wils and who intend or desire nothing but to please and content him and seeke him simply and purely not any guift or grace but according to his will that if there were no world but this and that my soul were to dy with my body yet I would choos to serue and please him alone and none but him rather then by doing the contrary haue al others my friends and haue al the honors pleasures and in fine the whole world at my command and this though I were also to suffer and subiect my-sâ—lf for his sake to euery liuing creature whilest â—â— liued For in this kind of life lyeth â—â—d the greatest Heauen that can be enioyed vpoÌ„ earth And though he try the souls with diuers temptations yet he doth it with much regard of their frailty doth so accommodate his grace to that he layeth vpon them that they find he reserues that for to morrow which the soul was not able to haue borne with profit to dâ—y And the soul so plainly sees that she of her-self is able to do nothing so that if she had ouercome one difficulty or temptation a thousand times she dareth no more confide in her being able to ouercome it again then if she had neuer done it yet in al her life And yet she is so confident in God that if it were pronounced vnto her by God him-self who can noâ— deceiue or be deceiued that there were infinit disgraces pains temptations pouerties and confusions hung ouer her head Al the care she would take would be to beseech God continually that as he prouided those troubles for her so he may enable her to beare them without offending him therin and in that maner for his glory that he intended by sending them for of herself she willingly acknowledgeth that no feather is more easily carried a way with a violent wind then her soul would be carryed to hel by the least temptation the diuel could suggest vnto her if he did not in al things by his grace protect her And the longer and the more faithfully a soul hath serued our Lord the cleerer doth it appeare to her that whatsoeuer is wel done by her it is so wholy to be attributed to God that she deserues most iust punishment if she take any part of it to her-self or presume by what she hath done by his powre to be able to endure the least crosse that can befal her of her own self But
for vaine is the help of man I will therefor confide in thee my God my mercy who be Adored Praised and Exalted for tyme and eternity Amen THE NINTH CONFESSION LEX Domini immaculata conuertens animas testimonium Domini fidele sapientiam praestans paruulis Iustitiae Domini rectae laerificantes corda praeceptum Domini lucidum illuminans oculos The Law of our Lord is immaculate correcting soules the Testimony of our Lord is faithfull giuing Wisedome to little Ones The Iustices of our Lord be right making harts ioyfull the precept of our Lord light some illuminating the eyes These my God are the words of thy Royall Prophet which are as it followeth in the same Psalme to be desired aboue gold and rich pretious stones yea they are more sweet to a louing soul then the honny or the honny combe Lett this Law of thine conuert my soul that it may become one of thy little ones to whom the grace of true Wisedome is oâ—ten promised by thee Lett thy Iustice make my hart ioyfull For in the perâ—ormance thereof is true Peace only to be found They that liue according to this thy Iustice do enioy such a diuìne tranquillity that it cannot be expressed by any pen whatsoeuer None can walk in this path of true Iustice in perfection but the humble Those find out in thy light what is thy best will and pleasure in all things as farr as humane flesh will admitt and perform thy iust will as well as human frailty will reach When we do perform any thing by this iust rule of thy holy will we find an admirable effect theâ—eof in our soul. This is that which by performing in all things we become truly subiect to thee and haue the merit of Obedience which maketh all our actions so noble before thee and of which vertue of Obedience how much or how little our actions partake so much and no more do they deserue reward Worthyly may Obedience be preferred before Sacrifice For it is that which gouerneth heauen and earth and which only deserueth reward in thy sight Happy are they who walk this way For they haue a â—ast euen of the ioyes of heauen For as they there obey thy will so these thy humble soules do also endeauour to do the same This Obedience to thee maketh the Angells as â—ell content with their degree of Glory as to be of the Seraphins who are yet in a farr higher degree in thy Kingdome This maketh the Saints content with theirs this maketh soules on earth who aspire to thee with all their harts to limit their desires with thy good will and pleasure and by this meanes they desire neither life nor death but in it conforme themselues to thy most iust will this maketh them desyre disgrace nor Glory neither paine nor health neither Crosses nor comforts This Obedience to thee and to Superiors for thee made some soules pleasing to thee by liuing in the wildernes and others by liuing in a Community some by liuing to the profit of their neighbour and others by liuing and attending only to thee in their soules some by liuing in high and eminent degree and hauing commaund ouer many others and some by being esteemed abiect and the very scumme of the world and these if they had of their own choice and election chosen the contrary state would neuer haue arriued to true Sanctity Some also by many paines Crosses come to thee some only by an internall affectioÌ„ to thee hauing that in affection which others suffer in act they also are respected by thee By which it appeares how great a subiection is exacted by thee of those who desire to become vnited to thee and neuer can we prosper in a Spirituall life vnlesse we hearken to thee and obserue euen in the least things what thou wouldst haue vs do and go that way thou wouldst haue vs in all things whatsoeuer For we may be sure thou willt lead vs by the way of Abnegation which is the way of the Crosse which if we will walk with humility and simplicity we shall with security arriue at the port of eternall Glory and enioy thee our only beloued in that degree thou hadst ordained for vs from all eternity liue we long or dy we soone For only in thee can we be happy and by thy meere grace can we deserue to enioy thee What we ouercome is so done in thy strength that the glory is wholy due to thee alone and this I find dayly seeing that when I presume of my own strength though it be in a thing which I haue often ouercome and many times farr greater it seemes to me yet I faile in that euen often to the offending thee my Lord in an extraordinary maner From this errour therefor my God heerafter deliuer thy poore contemptible seruant that I may praisâ— thee who art my only strength and hopeâ— Lead me which way thou willt soâ—â— may blesse thee in all and rest in thee aboue all From thee the strong receaue their strength and in thee sinners that haue nothing of our owne haue wherewith to supply all our want thou flyest vp with them who by an ardent loue haue surmounted all created things and are firmely vnited to thee in Spirit and thou also lendest thy sweet hand to thy little and imperfect ones who are of a good will to help them out of the mire and durt of passions and inordinate affections In this mercy my soul doth hope and reioice and I do in my pouerty congratulate the perfections of others beseeching thee to make me partaker of their merits And aboue all out of the aboundance of thy owne store giue me whereâ—ith to retorn to thee for all the merâ—ies thou hast shewed to my sinnefull â—oul Lett me please thee and praise â—hee and desire no more but that thou do with me whatsoeuer thou knowst most to thy honour O that soules would conuert their hart wholy to thee the most desirable beawty to whom if we compare all that is fair which thou hast made they will seeme â—o be without all beawty and light O if by humility soules would dispose themselues for the Diuine Loue what a reformation would there quickly be in the whole world When I remember how many soules seperate themselues by sinfull sinning from thee it pearceth my very soul seeing they forsak him who is an infinit good and a most amiable beawty Remember O Lord for thy own sake our extreame frailty and giue graâ—e that we may all conuert and return by Loue to thy Diuine Maiesty whose mercies are aboue all thy works for which Glory be euer to thee by all for time and eternity Amen THE X. CONFESSION ACCEDITE ad Deum illuminamini facies vestrae non confundentur Come to Him and be illuminated and your faces shall not be confounded These words in our diuine Office are spoken not only by him who by thy owne testimony was a man
through their pride and forgettfullnes of their own nothing and of the greatnes of thy Maiesty which pride aboue all things deliuer me from I beseech thee becaus it makes soules so odious before thy self and all that loue thee Lett me giue all Glory to thee who without any desert of myne hast thus sweetly with Grace preuented me for which be thou euer by all Praised and Adored Amen THE XIII CONFESSION O Lord whose Power Maiesty and Wisedome haue no end haue mercy on me sinner and giue me leaue to speak vnto thee my God and aske thee whither men are pleasing to thee becaus they abound with human knowledg And behold thou affirmest no but vnhappy are they who can pearce into all things if they be ignorant of thee Lett me therefor loue and then I shall not be ignorant of that knowledg which maketh soules so pleasing in thyne eyes to wit knowledge of thee and my self O Loue which in lightnest soules and inflamest harts wâ—th chast loue flow into my soul This loue is honourable wisedome and though the enioyers thereof be accounted fooles by the wise of this world yet thou hast another opinion of them and their humble soules find much fauour in thy pure eyes my God! With this Loue did those abound of whom S. Paul speaketh that they went vp and down in goats skinnes needy despised hidden in dennes and caues of whom the world was not worthy yet some of thy Saints became very honourable and glorious euen in the eyes of the world the which was forced to acknowledge thee great in and by them and there was no resisting of thy wisedome speaking by them amongst which of these thy seruants was the great S. Augustin Doctor and light of thy Church a most ardent louer of thee my God Hee in those books of his that I haue seene turneth his speaches so to thy Maiesty that his words thereby become sweeter then ordinary and while he declareth his own misery he giueth to vnderstand to vs thy most aboundant mercy that all that desire to loue thee my Godâ— may being inuited by him praise thee with him and for the fauour shewed by thee to him O that all to whom thou offrest the fauour of bestowing on them thy diuine Loue if they would after sinning by true Humility dispose themselues for it would become by his example gratefull to thee and loue thee as thou wouldst by them be beloued O how soon dost thou by thy Grace wipe out the sinnâ—â— of such who now detesting their former il liues do striue by humble loue to become grateâ—ull to thee for thy preuenting Mercy O Lord my God though thou hast forgiuen me much yet I am farr from louing thee much Those who now enioy thee that haue heertofor beene sinners as I be they Intercessors to thee for meâ— and be thou euer praised for thy infinit mercy by all thy Maiesties creatures for euer anâ— euer Amen THE XIV CONFESSIONâ— O Lord my God who sweetly disposest all things giue thy poore contemptible creature leaue to speake vnto thee who art the only desire of my soul and my hope from my youth and entierly beloued of my hart To thee I will speak and write not as to one a far of but to stirr vp my soul to Loue thee alone and to draw occasions out of all things to praise and exalt thee whose mercies are aboue all thy works To whom should I make my moane in all my miseries but to thy self who art my God and All and who art neerer to me then I am to my self To whom should I go to be instructed but to the fountain of all wisedome Behold men change their mindes and almost euery man differeth in opinion from another in matters that are indifferent and so great is my ignoranâ—e and blindnes naturally that vnâ—esse thou instruct me I shall all waies â—auer and neuer come to any true â—erfection of knowledg They stand at â—oo great a hazard who confide in â—hemselues and cast not their hope â—holy vpon thee All creatures are vnstable and those that seeke not â—hee aboue all creatures but putt their trust more in men then in thee will find no true peace in their soules O that I did truly Loue for by Loue only my soul shall becom capable of vnderstanding truth Loue is humble â—eaceable subiect to thee in all things The soul that loueth thee is more conuersant in heauen then on earth and what heere she of necessity must admit of serues to her rather as a cessation then any consolation The soul that Loues findeth occasion in all and by all things to praise thee my God and to humble it self Such are willingly subiect for thee and do see how odious it is to thee to see that subiects should contemn contradict or withstand thâ— power in Superiors and make theiâ— imperfection a colour for our sinneâ— If it be right between our soules anâ— thee we shall gladly obey thee speaâ—ke thou or ordain thou by whom thoâ—â— pleasest Teach me therefor to obey for thou only canst instruct me whâ— true humble Obedience is If thou dâ— not teach me I may perhaps giue to Caesar what is tâ—yne and deny to giue Caesar what is due to him by thy will Let me obey therefor for theeâ— and in order to thy will and with an internall regard of thee whose due is all the subiection and loue that can be giuen by my poor soul. Open the eyes of my soul that I may see what thou exactest in all things Instruct me by whom and in what maner thoâ— pleasest So I may but know what thy will and pleasure is it suffizeth thy poore seruant Giue me grace to obey thee my God with all that Loue thee for euer Amen THE XV. CONFESSION O Lord my God what soul that truly loues thee can complain what difficulties soeuer she endures or how great a desolation soeuer obscures her soul or how great paines soeuer she sustaines seeing thou whom she loueth more then her life and self art always the same beholding with an amorous and louing eye the louing soul afflicted by thee or by thy permission rather to try her fidelity then to oppresse her with such a burthen that might separate her from her only beloued for seeing nothing is dreaded by her but to be seperated from her God she holding humility and confidence thou O Lord wilt neuer permit her to be ouercome For thou makest the quarrel thyne own thus fought by vs and the victory ours though indeed gained by thee not by our own selues O how happy am I in thy Power and Glory Verily though I were to return to my own nothing yet I could not account my self void of an infinit happines seeing my God who is more mine then â— am my own would remain and be the same in all Wisedome and Maiesty Thâ—s is the repose of my labour and the crown of my glory in which I will exult in my greatest
sake as also thine owne who art Blessed for euer Amen THE XXVIII CONFESSION INCINA cor meum Deus in testimonia tua Ecce concupui mandata tua in aequitate tua viuifica me-Incline my God my hart to thy testimonies and in thy truth quicken my soul. For behold my soul doth exceedingly couet to performe thy law For thy law is truth and the effect thereof is Iustice and Peace and Ioy in the holy Ghost When I remember how I haue strayed from thee by sin I become ashamed before thâ—e But when I consider thy Mercy I hope stil notwithstanding what is past to become through thy grace which so sweetly preuented me pleasing to thy Diuine Maiesty O Lord inlighten my soul obscuredâ— by sin and ill customes inlighten it that I may walk the way of Iustice and Truth which is the way wherof thou speakest by Esaie the Prophet in which a foole cannot err as he affirmethâ— O let me by true Humility become a fool according to his meaning let me become as a bittle child that I may be capable of entring into the Kingdom of Heauen Certeinly we ought to liue so subiect to thee that we haue no election of any thing as pretending our selues for time or eternity And also we ought to haue in our soul such a relation to thee that in thy ligâ—t in thy truth and wholy according to thy will we perform all we do and out of that respect omit what we omit O my God let me I say walk this way of Loue which knoweth not how to seck it-self in any tâ—ing whatsoeuer Let this Loue wholy posses my soul and hart which I beseech thee may liue and moue only in and out of a pure and sincere loue to thee who aboue all ought to be loued and desired Let this fire which thou camst into this world to send and willedst it should burn consume me wholy into it self that forgetful of my self and al created things I may be mindfull of thee my Lord and my God It is thy pâ—omise that where sin â—ath abounded graâ—e shall superbound that the riches of thy Merâ—y may appear and shew it-self to the Glory of thy holy Name which Mercy I beseech thee extend itself â—o me that I may praise thee for euer and euer O that thy pure loue were â—o grounded and established in my hart that I might sigh and pant â—ithout ceasing after thee and be â—ble in the strength of this thy Loue â—o live without alâ— comfort and conâ—olation human or diuine therby â—o become the more conformable to â—hee the beloued of my soul O how â—appy are they that truly loue tâ—ee â—ertainly whatsoeuer they suffer it â—â— very tolerable to them beâ—aus he or whose loue they suffer is thâ—ir helâ—er Indeed my Lord thou art a hiden God but yet not so hidden from â—ur soul but that in some sort we â—aue therin according to our poor â—apacities not only a tast but also sight of thee for as euen thou thy self hast said Blessed are the cleane of hart for they shall see God O sight to be wished desired and longed forâ— becaus once to haue seen thee is to haue learnt al things Nothing can bring vs to this sight but loue But what loue must it be Not a sensible loue only a childish loue a loue which seeketh it-self more then the beloued No but it must bâ— an ardent loue a pure loue a couradgious loue a loue of Charity anâ— humble loue and a constant loue not worn out with labours noâ— daunted with any difficulties O Lord giue this loue vnto my soul that â— may neuer more liue nor breath buâ— out of a most pure loue of thee my All and only Good let me loue thee foâ— thy self and nothing els but in anâ— for thee Let me loue nothing in steeâ— of thee For to giue al for loue is â—â— most sweet bargain for Loue is as stronâ— as death O that this thy loue might floâ— in such aboundance into the harâ— of al capable therof that the sonâ— of thy loue and Praise might contiâ—nually be heard through out al the earth O what do we do louing vanity and seeking a lye What do â—â—e abusing the most noble capacity of our souls by desiring that which passeth away like smoak What do â—â—e louing that which is more changeable then the Moon Can any â—hing satiate our harts but our God Can we find true repose out of him â—s any thing worthy of our loue but â—hat Goodnes which is loue it-self and â—hom the more we loue the more we â—re able to loue becaus for loue he made vs capable of loue But alas my God my soul was in honour â—nd I knew not it I was compared â—o beasts and by sin became like to â—hem or worse then they Is this my equital for al thy loue Is this exâ—usable that my soul made by theeâ—o â—o be delighted with the food of â—ngels which is loue should delight â—â—-self with the bread of swine O is â—y hart able to rehears this before â—â—ee and not through excessiue grief â—reak in sunder Could I in my nature not abide to be diâ—loyall to one whom I found to be a faithful friend to me and can I endure to remember my disloyalty to my God Could I with ioy vndergo for my friend disgrace and difficulty and can I endure nothing for my God Was the absence of a deare friend intolerable to me and can I abide to see my self cease at any time to sigh and long after my God O no my God let that be far from me I heere renounce before heauen and earth al inordinate affections to creâ—tures Place with thy own hands tâ—â— loue in their roomâ— that it expelling thence al â—hat now is therein dâ—â—pleasing to tâ—ine eyes thou maâ—â— thy selâ— wholy posses me giuing and distributing my affections and disposing the passions of my haâ—â— according to thy sweet will which only is iust only holy and true iâ— it-self C how sinceare then are oâ— affections when we loue our neigâ—â—bour only in and for thee Theâ—â— we pitty not one and are hard harted to another according to the inclination of our peruerse nature but behold thee in al and consequently willingly serue and assist al for thy loue then we do not shew our seues meek only to our friends but also to those by whom we suffer most contradiction and gladly vpon all occasions extend our charity For there is no true friendship but that which is founded vpon thee and which is maintained without impediment to thy loue This is only the loue of Charity which Charity knoweth not how to repine to be angry to be exceptious to be inconstant to be troublesom to be suspicious or iealous for it regardeth thee in al and desireth thee aboue al It taketh al in good part it wondreth not to see men exceed in words finding it-self so often to offend in
deeds it beareth al things it hopeth al things and it confideth in thee aboue al things it wisheth only that thy will may be performed in al and by al creatures by which meanes it retaineth true peace in al that happeneth O giue me this â—hy loue which worketh such wonderful effects in an humble soul Giue it to me and I wil aske thee no more Let it posses my soul that nothing but thy self may be loued or desired by me Can thy Goodnes find in thy hart to see me thus languishing for want of thy loue seeking my selfâ— in al things and not being able out of true loue to suffer any thing It is true thoâ— hast made my soul to loath all created things and hast shewed me most plainly that all is vanity and affliction of spirit saue to loue thee and that nothing is permanent vnder the Sun â—and that vain and inconstanâ— is euery creature liuing so that 〈◊〉 cannot me thinks if I would so am I held by thee desire the friendship or fauour of any creature but this is not sufficient for me anâ— therefor take pitty on me begging and beseeching grace and mercy oâ— thee It suffiseth not me that my souâ— refuseth to be comforted but I musâ— also remember my God that with his loue my soul may be inflamed Art thou ignorant that my soul hauing had through thy sweet Mercy a tast of thee cannot find comfort in any thing but in inioying of thee O no this is as al other things are most manifest to thee and if thou wouldst not haue had me thus for loue to importune thee thou wouldst not haue made me incapable of being satisfied without thee This which I say I do not speak of presumption but out of the vrgent desir of my hart â—hich hath resolued to conuert it self wholy to thee thou who didst bid me to aske hast promised I shall reâ—eaue thou who didst bid me knock â—ast promised it shall in time conâ—enient be opened to meâ— which â—owre O my Lord when shall it be â—hat without ceasing I may praise â—hee and neuer any more offend thee â—Til which be granted me I wil sigh â—fter thee and in my hart in the bitâ—ernes of my soul I will cal vpon â—hee and somtimes I wil also being enabled and inuited thereunto by thee sing loue songs to my well-beloued who is euer within the hearing of meâ— For thou art not like the louers oâ— this world vpon whom that loue yet which is only due to thee is often bestowed heere to day and â— far off to morrow No no thus iâ— is not between thee and thy louers Foâ— though thou triest them that theiâ— loue may become more pure yeâ— thou seeing them begin to faile vnâ—der their burthen dost quickly caâ—â— thine eyes vpon them and with tâ—â— sweet dew of thy Grace refresheâ— them that by these changes theiâ— loue may grow more strong and bâ— firmely established in thee who arâ— that only thing which is only necesâ—sary for me and which only I reâ—quire of thee Let this thy loue worâ— in and by me becaus thou rewardeâ— no works but thine own and let mâ— loue thee as thou wouldst be belouâ— by me I cannot tell how much loâ—â— I would haue of thee becaus I woulâ— loue thee beyond all that can be imaâ—gined or desired by me be thou in this as in al other things my chooser for me who art my only choice most deare to me Glorious things are said of thee my Lord and God the most absolute and amiable beawty the more I shall loue thee the more wil my soul desire thee and to suffer for thee Let me loue thee for thy self and not any thing insteed of thee and let my whole substance by thy loue and Praise be consumed in me that I may return pure vnto thee who be by al in Heauen and Earth blessed and loued fer euer and euer Amen THE XXIX CONFESSION O My God my only beloued me thinks I heare thee sweetly checking my soul with these words when vnder what pretence soeuer I pretend by my care or vnreasonable solicitude that more then One thing is necessary to my soul therby falling into that multiplicity whicâ— is so apt to dimme and obscure our soul and so contrary to a pure tending to Thee our only good and to a remouing of al impediments between our souls and thee by transcending al created things whatsoeuer these words I say thou often speakest to my hart Quem quaeris mulier viuentem cum mortuis Whom dost thou seek woman one liuing amongst the dead But Lord I answer tâ—ee now in al desir and humâ—lity of hart that I seek nothing but thy felf no guift no comfort or sweetnes no friends but thy self and thy heauenly Cittezens no power but of wishing that thy wil may be my law no honour but thine no consolation but that I may in solitude and silence al the dayes of my liâ—e be able to liue without all consolation human or diuine no recreation by conuersation or other business or imployments but so far as it is necâ—ssarâ— to beare vp my spirit to attend vnto tâ—ee more seriously at conuenient times and rather let al necessary distraction by help of thy Grace serue as a meere cessation then by the least affection to them or comfort in them they should become an impediment to my aspiring to thee For this is a rule thou knowst hath been gâ—uen me by a faithfull seruant of thy diuine Maiesty who indeed gaue me most generall iâ—structions that we might not be â—yed to him or any other creature but might being left more free to thee fly the more freely with wings of Diuine loue which carieth a soul euen in human flesh aboue all that is not thy very self of such force is thy Grace concurring with our will which is by naâ—ure capable of an â—nfinite extent towards thee when as it neither seeketh intendeth desireth willeth nor resteth in any â—hingâ— but theâ— Tâ—is I say was his generall rule that if we did not do â—hings with affection they would cause vs no hurtfull distraction which grant may be so vnto me I beseech thee who am not able without much and often diuerting my ind to indifferent things to attend to thee in my soul at other fitting times and this by reason of my great weaknes of body and head Let al this imperfection in mee humble me and let it be no impediment to my truly louing seruing praising thee and adhering only to thee which is my only desire by al I doâ— or omit Let not my greâ—uous sinnes past or present too much deiect or trouble mee but let them serue to humble my soul and be a meanes totally to subect it to thee and al others so far as it is thy wil it should be Let me praise thee in al whose prouidence and care hath been so infinit great towards me thy most contemptible creature the which
looked vpon by me may be a meanes to put me in mind of his former mercy which hath been so great to me that it cannot poâ—â—ibly be expressed and whatsoeuer heerafter becometh of me be the fault wholy attributed to me for nothing hath my Lord God left vndon which might win me wholy to himself and make me despise my self and al created things for his loue For when I sinned he recalled me and forsook me not in that my misery of offending such an infinit goodnes so shamefully and that also after my entry into Religion the happines and worth whereof I did not yet know by which meanes I grew weary of bearing therein his sweet yoke and light burthen the which is heauy only through our fault and not of it-self Through which default and ignorance of mine it grew so greiuous and intolerable to me that I wished often it might haue been shaken of lawfully by me pretending it was so incompatible with my good that I could scarsly work my saluation in this my state and Profession This my God thou art witnes of is true and so it did continue with me aboue two years after I had in shew forsaken the world and the world indeed forsaken me but did my Lord in these biter afflictions forsake me No no but he prouided such a help for me by meanes of a faithful seruant of his that quikly was my sorrow turned into ioy yea into such an vnspeakeable ioy that it hath sweetned al the sorrows which since that time haue befaln me For as soon as my soul was set in a way of tending to my God by Praier and Abâ—egation I found al my miseries preâ—ently disperse themselues and come to nothing yea euen in fiue weeks my soul became so enamoured with the yoke of this my deare Lord that if I must haue made not only foure but foure thousands vowes to haue become wholy dedicated to him I should haue embraced this state with more ioy and content then euer I did find in obtaining that which euer I most of al wished or desired yea and as thou knowst my God by my souls being put into a cours of prayer I seemed to haue now found a true means wherby I might loue without end or measure and that without any peril or danger For who can loue thee my God too much O let me melt wholy into loue to record these thy most aboundant Mercies Let me neuer be weary of singing thy Praise who thus hast inuited and drawn me euen whither I would or no to a perfect contempt of al created things that I may adhere to thee aboue al gifts whatsoeuer This I do so particularly write down becaus my frailty is so great that I may perhaps grow vnmindful of thee notwithstanding al this that thou hast done for me which I beseech thee for thine own sake neuer permit me to be that I may praise and loue thee without ceasing who art my God blessed for euer and euer Amen THE XXXV CONFESSION QVi facit veritatemâ— venit ad lucem vt manifestentur opera eius quae in Deo sunt facta O Lord what is more amiable and desirable then Truth That is it which powerfully preuaileth in all things and no wonder seeing thou art Truth Wel may Truth be oppressed thou permitting it but suppressed it-self can neuer be becaus as thou saiest heauen and earth shal fail but thy word shal not fail He that loueth verity and doth desiâ— to liue to thee cometh to the light And what is this light Is it not thy-self my God Yes verily For in thy light only can we see light By faith we are made capable or disposed for this light For as thou saiest My iust liueth by faith By this light we are strengthned in hope and inflamed in charity and by apprâ—aching to theâ— who artour true light and life we obtain a light which teacheth vs to do our works in thee and for thee In his light we discouer our own nothing â—nd perceiue we are poor and frail of â—ur-selues aboue al we can imagin â— conceaue and by it we plainly â—â—rceaue that whatsoeuer is wel â—one by vs is as truly to be attribuâ—ed to thee as if it had been don â—ithout any concurrence of ours â—ith thee and that it is as iust our â—ill should in al things obey thee â—nd that without any challenging â—f reward â—or it of thee but only so â—r as it is due by thy meere promised â—ercy as it is certain that without â—ee we could neither liue nor be â—lso in this ligâ—t we see in some sort as it were in a looking glasse how â—reat and good a God we haue and â—â—at he is more present to vs then â—e are to our selues which maketh â—y soul exult and rejoice amidst â—â—e troubles tumults and various â—hanges which the difficulty of pasâ—ons and crosse actions and the â—â—stability of â—uman and transiâ—ory things daily and howrly caus 〈◊〉 my soul. For who can mourn for want of a friend who hath her only friend always present with her who can choose but hope seeing he is her helper for whose loue she fighteth against flesh and bloud yea and against the power of darknes But how doth she fight Not as one confiding in her own strength but in his help whose loue hath made her proclaim warre with al that would hinder her from being true to this her only beloued To those that loue what can be wanting seeing loue is able to sweeten al labours and lighten al burthens As for me therfor I wil sing without ceasing in my hart It is good for me to adhere to my God and to put my whole trust in him For vain is the help of man After him I will sigh to him I wil sing For my offences I wil weepe and humble my self at the feet ef al creatures becaus nothing pleaseth him so wel as humibity and I wil approach to my God and walk solicitous with him Of him I wil write and I wil not depart from himâ— least darknes and the shadow of death do apprehend my sinfull foul He shal be my God who am his vnworthiest creature that so no euil may haue power ouer me I wil long my Lord to be dissolued and that I may more fully and perfectly enioy theâ— and neuer any more offend thee who art so worthy of al Praise Glory Honour and Adoration for euer Amen THE XXXVI CONFESSION O My Lord to thee I wil speak to whom yet the secrets of my hart are otherwise most cleerly manifest To thee I wil speak and vpon thee I wil cal If thou wilt my Lord thou canst saue me This day my Lord God it is read of thee in rhe holy Church that thou didst heale the man sick of the Palsey Let me also find grace before thee that my diseases may by thee be cured that so I may become pleasing to thee For the diseases of the
And yet thy Goodnes compelled me to enter O who wil giue me power and ability sufficiently to extol thy most a boundant Mercy which in this and al other things thy sweet Goodnes hath shewed towards me Blessed infinitly be my Lord by al his creatures My only study shal be to praise thee and my only desir that I may be faithful in al crosses and miseries to thee my only beloued Let thy Grace flow I beseech thee vpon thy seruant who with so much care paines and solicitud for thy sake endeauoured to win my hart wholy to thee Remember him vnto good according to al he hath done for me He hath truly made me to see and feel though through my great fault and ignoraÌ„ce I before thought otherwise that thy yoke is sweet and thy burthen light which now I shal alâ—o being conuinced by experience acknowledge before heauen and earth to thine honour and my confusion who durst presume to think otherwise Pardon I beseech thee therefor for thinâ— own sake this my sinne among the rest which are innumerable and let me heerafter be a true seruant and child of thine â—ho be blessed by al for euer and euer Amen THE XXXVIII CONFESSION SEmper gaudete sine intermissione orate Always reioyce Pray without ceasing O my Lord and my God They that truly loue thee may indeed iustly always rejoyce and without intermission praise thee But I that daily and â—owrly offend thy diuino Maiesty ought to weep and lament my sins bitterly sitting solitary and making my moane to thee my God who art only able to help and comfort me in this misery O when shal I become truly humble Teach me Humility Obedience and Patience enlighten my soul obscured by my pride and other sins that I may loue thy Law and humbly embrace thy blessed wil in al things O let me be truly subiect to thee as thou wouldst haue me and euen to al others alsoâ— as it is exacted by thee of me Wo be to my soul if daily it become not more and more obedient ro tâ—ee and to others for thee Giue me true Discretion For no vertue hath more of vertue in it then it partaketh oâ— this diuine vertue Giue me true Wisedom which maketh souls so pleasing to thee and which thou impartest to the humble and those that serue thee for loue and that seek thee aboue al gifts and created things whatsoeuer O loue loue flow into my soul that I may sigh and pant after my God alone and praise this my beloued for al eternity Amen THE XXXIX CONFESSION O Deus meus quis similis tibi O my God who is like to thee Who wil giue mâ— that wiâ—hout ceasingâ— may adhere to thee and with an amourous aspect regard thee in al things not seeking my-self nor the pleasing of any creature for it self in any thing I do or omit Desolatione desolata est omnis terra quia nullus est qui recogiter corde With desolation al the land is made desolate Because there is none who considereth in the hart O my God what wonder is it that we liue in blindnes if we come not to thee who art the only true ligâ—t What do we with souls and harts capable of loue if we do not by them aspire to thee with al our strength and adhere to thee the only true and perfect good What is sweet what is to be desired but thee my Lord who art beawty it self What couldst thou do more then make out souls to thine own image and liknes and able â—o be satisfied with nothing but thy self O misery of al miseries the greatest that thou shouldst be offended and forgotten by vs and that any thing should posses our souls besids thy loue which only can make vs happy and pleasing in thine eyes Wo is me who haue straied from the fountain of liuing water by which my â—oul is dryed vp and euen withereth away in thirst after transitory things Change this my thirst by thyâ—weet â—weet grace and Mercy to a thirsting after thee my God the glory of my hart and the peace and comfort of my soul. O let me loue or not liue and let me in al by al and aboue al praise thee who art bleâ—sed for al eternity Amen THE XL. CONFESSION MY soul blesse thou our Lord and al things within me his holy name Al spirits praise my God for euer and euer magnify him I wil declare to thee my God in al things how it stands with me that I may hope and be strengthened in and by thee I wil beg what is neceâ—sary for me to please and serue thee For what canst thou deny to them who haue no hope or comfort but only in thee He who giueth himself giueth al and when thou deniest what we ask it is that thou mayst giue tâ—â— own self more fully to vs thy poor seruants and that impediments may be the more truly remoued between our souls and thee Simplify my soul that it may return to thee adorn me with â—â—ine own merits that I may not appeare naked of good befâ—re thee and supply my defect in praising and louâ—ng thee To thee my God al my interior powers shal aspire day and night without ceasing Let me draw no breath but therby to sigh and pant after thee the liuing fountain Let al actions which by Obedience or necessity be imposed on me be vndertaken and done by me with an inâ—erior regard of thee that I may truly in them obey and seek thee the most amiable beloued of my hart and soul let them be as a cessation or pausing for the time that I may afterward with the more force and sauour at times conuenient attend to thee in the bottom of my soul and therein praise thee Amen THE XLI CONFESSION COme al ye that haue vowed your bodies and souls to our Lord Come let vs loue Let vs giue al not only once but euery moment to him that made vs to bestow on vs himself Let vs not only loue but be wholy transformed into the â—iuine loue Let vs liue to him â—lone leauing al others for his sake only Let vs charitably interpret the words and deeds of those with whom we liue and if any faâ—l in that which he ought to perform giue vs grace my God to remembeâ— how weak human nature is for good and how great is our frailty as to a sin and how soon we also if thou didst not protect vs might fail in a more shameful maner O my God thou hast commaunded vs to loue our neighbour as our self and behold we either loue them inordinatly to our impediment of louing thee or els we are short towards them of â—rue Charity From both these errours deliuer the soul of thy poor seruant and grant me to loue al as tâ—ou wouldst haue me Let no difficulties they cause to me make me in them the less to behold and consider thee Verily if there were no other reward to be
For her humble soul thought it-self too vnworthy of such a fauour when thou didst put her in mind that she was to conuers with thee in a more spiritual maner then before neither did she reflect on the labour pain and grief she had sustained For as thou knowst loue feeleth no labour nor complaineth of any burthen For only to haue seen thee aliue again was sufficient to make her forget al former afflictions For her sake and for al their sakes that loue thee be merciful to my sins and bring me by true loue to be vnited to thee with them where for euer without ceasing I may praise thee my only beloued Amen THE XLVII CONFESSION O LORD my God I wil speak to thee again and again I wil cal vpon thee the entierly beloued of my hart I wil melt away in thy praises and I wil inuite al thy spouses to to seek thee alone aboue al thy giâ—ts and aboue al creatures For in thee alone is true peaee and comfort to be found and enjoyed O how happy should I esteem my self if I were able to praise thee without ceasing or be any cause that any should more and more languish with thy loue What should I do being born down with the weight of mortal flesh and diuers internal afflictions so that I can many times scarsly think on thee What should I do I sayâ— but liâ—t vp my hart with my hands as it were by main force sometimes by words and sometimes by writing vnto thee which I do not do as to one that is farr of from me but as to one who is more neere to me then I am to my-self and of whose Goodnes whose Wisedom whâ—se Beawty whose Mercy and most absolut and incomparable greatnes I am more assured of then I am of any thing I see with my corporal eyes O who would not loue this Goâ—nes this Maiesty and submit them-selues â—o this most amiable beloued oâ— our souls If any comfort or happines were to be found out of him we were somthing excusable in negâ—ecting and forgetting our chief good â—ut seeing we cannot euen in this mortal liâ—e find any content but by louing praising and truly seeking and seruing him we are too miserable and too blame for loosing our-selues by resting with loue and inordinat affection in transitory and visible things O far be it from thy spouses to set their affection vpon any thing bâ—â— thee or to bereaue thee of the affection which from al is to thee only due Al that we are and haue is too little for thee Let vs not therefor of that little we haue take from thee O let vs loue thee aboue al and al others in and â—or thee I do bemoan this misery aboue al miseries that those who haue dedicated themselues to thee should seek the loue and fauour of others to their own and the others impediment in thy loue and seruice Oâ—tentimes we comply and correspond vnder pretence to get temporal means the while neglecting thee who feedest the birds and clothest the beasts of the earth who neither sow not reap neither are they solicitous of any thing but depend of thy meere prouidence and yet thou prouidest for them Can we think thou wilt haue less care of vs that haue left al the world for thee then of the vnreasonnable creatues made only for our seruices Hast not thou said by the Spirit of al truth that first seek for the Kingdom of God and his iustice al things els sâ—al be added to you O let vs therefor leaue al things truly that we may confide in thee casting our care vpon thee who wilt nourisâ— our souls and bodies if we wil but faithfully and constantly adhere vnto thee our supreame and only Good Let vs leaue pretending any thing but thee For often euen vnder the pretence of getting praiers of others we poure out our-selues in the meane time neglecting to haue relation to thee who wouldst more willingly giue then we could ask if we would but truly and faithfully adhere to thee and not stray out of our selues hindering both our selues and others from adhering to thee to whom we owe al we are and can do and and therefor are greatly to blame when we do not endeauour to loue thee with al our soul with al our mind and al our strength which grant for thy own sake we may endeauour to do to thy honour and glory who be praised loued and adored for al eternity Amen THE XLVIII CONFESSION SHAL not my soul be subiect to God O my Lord far be it from me to wil or desire any thing but according to thy diuine wil which is only holy Let me neuer resist thy wil signified to me by any means whatsoeuer Let my soul be wholy turned into a flame of diuine loue that I may aspire and tend to nothing els but thy-self alone Blot out my sins that my soul may return to thee by loue from whom by sin it hath strayed O let nothing but this desir of thee my God posses my hart Let that be my solace in labours pains temptations desolations and al afflictions of body or mind Let not my hart drawn by thee to seek after nothing but loue be so base as to couet desir and rest in any thing but thee Thou art my life my choice and my only beloued When I hear theâ— but named my Lord God it forcible draweth me into my-self that I may attend vnto thee forgetting my-self and whatsoeuer els besids thee for which benefit be thou inâ—initly praisâ—d Amen THE XLIX CONFESSION OMNIS â—piritus lâ—udet Dominum Bonedicite omnia opera Domini Domino laudate super exaltate eum in saeoula Let euery spirit praise our Lordâ— Blesse our Lord al the works of oâ—â— Lord praise and exalt him for euer O my God that I were able with a pure soul and louing hart to extol thy praise But alas thy praise is not seemly in the mouth of a sinner But shal I for this hold my peace If I do yet permit me this comfort for thine own sake that I may inuite others more worthy to sing and set forth the praise of thy diuine Maiesty with whom yet as the last and least my soul shal ioin in the praise of thee our deare Creator and in that which is so worthily possessed by thy sweet Goodnesâ— I wil rejoice with al the forces of my hart and soul O my holy and deare delight what a most harmonious melody would refound ouer al the earth if thy wil and iust disposition took place in al things Behold al thy works praise thee euery one in their kind only man for whose help and comfort al other things on â—arth were created â— peruerteth the order of thy Iustice by miâ—uâ—ing that noble free wil which thou gauest him to choose and loue thee with O what couldst thou haue done more then with such a noble gift to haue endued vs Certeinly
if we would intend thee in al and haue relation to thee in al who art more present to our souls then we are to our selues we should hear thee giuing answers sometimes by others sometimes by thy self and sometimes by tâ—e words of holy Scriptures and ancient Fathers and subiects would be tractable to Superiors rather gouerning by thee then by themselues what thoâ— wouldst commaund they would commend and in al not seeking their own glory or exaltation would glory in thee not in their own powerâ— and what were done by thee they would then accompt only wel doneâ— but what they did oâ— themselues they would accompt little profitable as to the aduancement oâ— souls Then they would be able to se whaâ— were fit for euery soul vndeâ— theiâ— chardg and when thou permittedâ— this not to be so cleer to them theâ— would humble themselues acknowâ—ledging it happened for their vnâ—woâ—thines beseeching thee to do thaâ— by thy-self which could not be done by them and if thon shouldst perhaps let another though their subiect to see and discern what were fit in that case or cases though he were but the last and lowest and of the least esteeme in the Conuent yet certeinly such Superiors would not accompt it to derogate from their authoritâ— that such an one should supply their place and Offifice vpon occasions becaus they seek thy honour and not their own and though thou hadst giuen them power to command yet no otherwise would they vse it then according to such maner and in such cases as thou dost require they should In this maner gouerning with relation to thee and regard of thy wil and with indifferency what thou wilt do by them what by others and what by thy-self whose spirit breatheth where it pleases Then the sensual loue and friendship between the Superiors and their subiects would cease then sincerity and reason would take place both in the commander and in the obeyer both thinking al their loue and labour to be too little for thy Godnes then would be peace on al sids and the imperfections of al would turn to the aduancement not to the preiudice of any then as they desired the friendship or fauour of none but in al things willingly and gladly depending of thy prouidence so they would be friends with al thy friends and pitty and pray for from the bottom of their souls those that are thine enemies amongst which they â—ould verrly beleeue they should haue been the greatest if thou of thy sweet Mercy hadst not preuented them Also inferiors that truly liue to thee and desiring nothing els but thee though thou didst teach and instruct them about the vse of indifferent things by an internal ligâ—t which discerneth between custome and true reason between their natural desirs and thy true Iustice which only ought to take place in al things yet they accounting themselues wholy vnworthy of being instructed by thee most willingly hear thy wil and commaunds not only from Superiors but from any creature whatsoeuer accounting it sufficient for them that it was signified to them that it was thy wil the which we ought to follow as doth a shaddow the the body or els of little worth is any thing we do For thou rewardest no works but thine own O if al creatures would serue thee according to their capacities and â—tates what a resemblance would this life haue with heauen No person no state can pretend to be excused from being able to serue and pleaâ—e thee who hast made our hart for thy-self and it can neuer haue true rest and repose but in thee the Center oâ— our souls What creature is so little or contemptible that doth not in some sort inuite vs in its kind to loue and praise thee my Lord God If we would lâ—ue thee they would not fail to serue vs til we could serue thee without them But alas as it is affirmed and that most truly thaâ— order is the life of things so man being out of order by seeking himselâ— more then thee and by doing that which may redound rather to his own honour then to thine hath made al thy other creatures refuse that obedience which they owed to man if tat he were truly obedient to thee Our defect in this towards thee puts al out of order For how can subiects be pliable to the wil of Superiors if first they be not in the way of obeying thee witâ— relation of their obediences to man as to thee and meerly for an according to thy â—il And how can we bâ— at peace with others iâ— first we bâ— not by true resignation in a way tâ— haue peace with thee in our own soulsâ— Where is the Obedience due to thee and others for â—hee since oftentimeâ— out of blindnes we giue Caesar thaâ— which was Gods and deny to him that which was due to him by the 〈◊〉 of God As also if Superiors anâ— Priests should stand vpon points vâ— surping that to themselues whicâ— thou hast reserued to thy self what shal become of subiects Certainly they wil not wel know what to do vnles it be very right between them and thee But alas Si sal euanuerit in quo salietur If the salt loose its vertue in what shal it be salted Happy are they that light vpon a good Superior but much more happy are they who by true light in Humility and Abnegation are instructed by thee who art the only true teacher of Humility true obedience and perfect Pryer O my Lord when shal it be said that the multitude of beleiuers are of one hart and soul When shal al be vnited in the bonds of true peace Neuer til our Charity beginning in thee do spread it self to al others for thee For there is no true friendship but that which thou knittest between such as loue al in and for thee and thee aboue al that can be imagined or desired O when shal thy Iustice and Truth in all things take place that the earth may breath forth nothing but thy Praise Then we should be in paine and not seeme to sufferâ— so sweet or pleasing would the paiâ— be we should liue on earth noâ— as being strangers in heauen and liuing heer should more liue witâ— thee our beloued then where we of necessity liued For then thy wil being done in earth as in heauen the earth would resemble heauen wherby the pain and grief of our banishment would be sweetned with â— comfort almost heauenly and thaâ— together with resigning our selues to thy holy wil to be contented to be denyed for a time til thy wil might thereby be wholy accomplishedâ— and after that come to see thy glorious face and enjoy thee as thou anâ— in thy-self who is our only happines the expectation wâ—erof would makâ— this world tolerable to vs and wâ— should then seek thy glory and thâ— fulfilling of thyâ—ustice â—ustice in al things and not our own comfort anâ— honour Verily al thy disposition are so
iust that al things woulâ— happen to our greatest good iâ— we with humility and confidence in thee would proceed in al things And not any state condition or corporal complexion is there wherein thou hast not been serued in a perfect maner by some or other And if we run through al degrees from the Pope to the simple Religious and from the greatest Monarcâ— to the poorest begger in al we shal find some that haue faitfully serued and praised thee And as for naturâ—l coâ—plexions or dispositions the most wicked haue brought forth children prouing Saints and others who haue liued as to al maner of sinsâ— so iâ— that whole Contreys haue fared the worse for them and diuers souls perished by their means yet by humility haue become so pleasing to thee O Lord that thou madst them thy boosom friends And no trade nor occupation iâ— it be lawful but hath oâ— it Saints to the end to shew thou despisest nothing that thou haâ—t made how contemptible soeuer it seeme in the eyes of men Why therefor do we not loue thee seeing al things on thy part concur to this end We may pretâ—nd what excuse we wil but nothing wil excuse vs before thee who had no other end in creating vs but that we should be partakers of that glory which thou prepared for those that truly loue thee and in that country of al happines we sâ—al receaue al good things and aboue al shal enioy thee the beginning and fountain of al good without whom al things are as nothing as to the contenting and satisfying of our souls And seeing meerly thou crâ—atedst vs for ouâ— good thou being infinitly happy of thy-self before thou createdst any thing why shal we lay the fault of our not profiting or euerlasting perishing vpon theâ— If there had beeâ— any thing wanting of thy part wâ— might iustly complain to thee anâ— if there were any thing yet meerly necessary we requiring it humblâ— of thâ—e thou couldst not â—so infinâ—â— good art thou deny it vs. But seeinâ— thou createdst man in the state of innocency and after his â—al redeemedst him with the pretious Bloud of thy ouly begotten Son and hast giuen vs a Law vnder which we are to walk and by means of our holy Mother the Church hast and dost determine of al things as certainly as if that thou thy-self wert stil corporally present to giue answers in al things necessary to saluation how worthily are we to be condemned if we do not correspond and satisfy such thy most gratious wil and prouision about vs Besids we haue thee within vs to haue recourse vnto vpon al occasions the which that we may do with the les impediments thou hast ordained the ouerlooking and solicitude ouer vs of the Superiors thy Vicegerents who gouern vs heer by â—hy appointment and whom to resist in any thing so it do not derogâ—te from thy own authority immediatly to thy-self were highly to offend and displease thee For by these thy Substituts thou dost iudg and determin of Spirits and of the verity and goodnes of them and of their exercises and doings as whether they proceed from thee and thy motions or no and by them declarest what in general is to be done or omitted and in particular as there is occasion in seculars partly by seculars powers and in Religious by their Pastours and Superiours that thus being in some certeinty of subordination and good exterior order we may freely attend to thee in our souls without going forth but of meere necessity THE L. CONFESSION O WHO would seek or loue any thing but thee my God who art exceeding great and of thy goodnes there is no end Who woulâ— loose thee for nothing and depaâ—t from the fountain of life for to drink out of a Cestern that is â—ul of filthy and muddy water What are al things but thy self for the satisfying of our souls If thou diedst as thou diedst for vs that we might liue ouly to thee can we think it much if heauens earth sea and al contained in them rise vp against vs forgetting and neglecting thy Mercy O let vs loue thee and al things wil be at peace with vs and we at peace with our selues Is it not a shame for vs to see the birds praise thee and al creatures in their kind to giue the honour and yet we only capable of thy loue forgetful and vngrateful to thee What is there is this world but it calleth vpon vs to seek thee in sincerity of hart and to liue to thee alone and to make vse of them euery one in their kind to the end we may concur with them to the praise of thee our Lord and Creator to whom al loue and honour is only due The Angels most humbly assist vs and pitty vs offending thee which willingly to do is so hainous a thing in their eyes that they are amazed to see vs stray from true reason But alas man was in honour and knew it not he was compared to beasts and becamâ— like vnto them In this my misery I sigh and groane to my God who in this my affliction is only able to help and comfort mâ— O how can we find in our hart to offend thee That and that alone is to be esteemed truly a misery But yet are we sinners without comfort No no my God seeing thou canst forgiue more then we can offend and it wil redound to thine â—onour and praise for euer and euer that thou hast pardoned so many and greiuous sins and sinners In which thy glory I â—xult from â—he bottom of my soul becaus seeing I haue offended for which I am hartily sorry yet wil my God be extolled by al creatures for forgiuing it for al eternity O thou â—ho art thine own praise supply in this and in al other things the defect that is in al vs thy creatures to praise thee as thy iuâ—tice requireth thou so shouldst be magnifyed by vs al who without thee are nothing but a sack full of filth and the map of al misery THE LI. CONFESSION O Lord my deare God if we that are created to mine own image and liknes and whose happines doth consist in louing pleasing praising and enioying thee If we I say â— did seek and desir only thee how wel would it go in this world If we were faithful to thee al things would be so to vs. When I see any of thy creatures abuse the nobility of their soul by straying from thee or at least by loosing their time which is so precious in labouring and taking great pains to obtain the fauour of men or something els as litle to the purpose how can it but wound my very hart seeing thou art neglected and they take great pains for what they cannot possible obtain in the meane time forgetting to seek after thy sweet loue which might be obtained euen for nothing in coÌ„parison of what they sustain by labouring for that which perhaps if they do get
or obtain they are farther from being satisfyed then they were before It is true the more we loue thee the more we desire to loue thee And the more we loue the more able we are to loue and the more easy it is to loue and loue making al pains confusions difficulties and afflictions sweet what is there left to suffer Only indeed the hiding of thy face and denying vs fully to enioy thee this only remains to pearce our harts with if we truly loue and yet thy iust wil is a consolation euen in the greatest extremity of this difficulty Who would therefor not loue thee wholy forgetting themselues and their own profit and commodity either for time or eternity Certainly the Prophets Martyrs Confessors and Virgins that loued thee more then their liues found torments bannishments imprisonments and persecutions sweeter by reason of their loue to thee and of their desiring to be faithful to thy amiable Maiesty then al the pleasures contentments riches honours and glory of the world did euer yet yeald to those that haue most abounded therewith since the beginning of the world O if we could ask Salomon for al the aboundance he liued in and S. Francis in his pouerty or S. Laurence vpon his Gridiron and certainly both by his acknowledgment and theirs their pouerty and pain through loue were sweeter then al his delights euen in this world yea euen Iob sitting vpon the Dunghil and saying God gaue and God hath taken away as it pleaseth our Lord so let it be his name be blessed for euer enioyed more comfort and true peace in soul then al the comforts and pleasures of this world could giue or haue caused to him For only submission to thee my deare God bringeth true comfort to our souls O if we did truly humble ouâ— selues how greatly would thy goodnes be exalted in our souls If we did seek thee not thy gifts graces and comforts how then should we go out of our selues and therby enter into thee O if we were rruly humble how much wouldst thou be pleased to be serued by vs and how many do fare the better for thy humble ones though they be hidden and vnknown for such to the worldâ— Certeinly the humble are so deare to thee that thou seemest not willing or able to do any thing without them For while vnmindful of al but thee they forget themselues thou in â— the meane time enrichest them with thine own works that they may merit more grace glory and fauour before tâ—ee in al things thou dost or permittest to which to the vttermost of their power they concurre by humble resignation if they can do no more which is sufficient to satisfy thee who needest not our works or labours but it is our harts souls and loues that thou requirest and by which thou wilt do good to vs or by vs. What thou thinkest meet for vs to do or to be able to do ought to be indifferent to vs who should haue no wil but thine nor any election but of thee Wel may it be said that where Humility is there is also Wisedom For the truly humble being guided by thy interior Truth and Iustice more then by human wisedom surpasse the weaknes of their own folly for so al wisedom may be esteemed that is not from thee and in thy light by which light only we can discern the glorious truth and not by the natural light of our weak vnderstanding that is not able without a beame of thy Grace to discouer such truth so blind is our soul of it-self without tâ—ee and it is only true humility that maketh vs capable of this thy light And yet if a soul had been with S. Paul in the third Heauen if she should leaue the way of Humility she would return to her former blindnes and the more she by vsurping thy gifts and graces to herself did puff vp her self the more al true light and discretion would depart from her soul and the more het folly would appeare to heauen and earth to her great confusion both in this life and in the next if she did not return and come to know her own nothing For as it is truly said The corruption of the best is the worst O Lord deliuer al from this accursed sin of pride which turned Angels into most vgly diuels and hath been the caâ—se of the separation of so many souls created by thee to enioy eternal felicity from thee my God But especially deliuer those from this most odious vice who haue had the means by the mercy of thy sweet Goodnes to come to some true knowledg of thee and themselues For if we knew al and could discourse with al the wit and eloquence of the Philosophers Orators and Diuines of the causes and effects of al natural and supernatural things yet if we did not know thee by endeauouring truly to loue thee we might truly be said to know nothing For only by louing thee and knowing our selues is true Wisedom obtained And how can it but peruert al true Iustice that thou art by so few in comparison of the whole world sought with a pure intention If we being almost to death benumed with cold should for remedy go forth into the blustering and far colder wind or in the scortching heat of sommer should for mitigation therof to our body go to an hot flaming fire who would not iudg vs euen out of our witts for our so doing Euen so we when wanting supernatural light that is true light and necessary for the guidance of vs in the way towards thee we in lieu of seeking after that light and of taking the means to come by it do betake vs onâ—y to our natural light the which as to the said supernatural end is but meere blindnes and darknes and thus proceeding in assuming for our means the contrary oâ— that wâ— should we prosper both in our practice and in our end accordingly The things which we practise as vertues being indeed no true vertues for want of the discretion that it necessary for the perfection of themâ— and the which discretion is but the self same as the light had from thee wherby often-times our pretended vertues come to haue more of vices then of true vertues in them such defect proceeding out of this that indeed in our inâ—ard and secret consciences we think that we are able to do that which is right and proâ—itable of our own selues and without light and ability for it from thee And when harm falleth to vs or to others by such our blind proceedings we lay the fault of it vpon thee where it is notâ— and not vpon our selues where indeed it is O ler this folly also be far from vs for thou art iust O my Lord and thy iudgments are equity how hidden soeuer thy meaning in them be to our souls I for my part desire to adore thee in al thou disposest and do most gladly acknowledg that al
do euen say to my soul Peace be humble and subiect in al to thy God whom thou art not worthy so much as to name with thy defiled mouth Indeed my Lord whose power and Maiesty prostrate I acknowledg and adoreâ— with al mine hart and soul if I should neither in this nor in the next world receaue any other reward but what already thou hast bestowed on me which I haue I must needs conâ—esse receaued gratis of thy Mercy without any desert of mine owne yet that which tâ—ou hast so already done for me is sufficient to declare to Heauen and earth the superaboundance of thy mercy and clemency to a sinful and contempâ—tible creature I wil there for sing vnto thee mercy and iudgment al the days of my life wishing always that thy wil which is Iustice it-selâ—â— may be wholy and perfectly accomâ—plishâ—d in me thy sinful seruant Let me liue as-long as it pleaseth thee or dy in the very beginning of these my desires to loue send sicknes or health suddain or lingring death pouerty or aboundance good fame or that I be by al the world despised and in fine in al do with me as it is most for thine honour For in this I plaâ—e al my comfort and happines faithfully to serue thee and to be little or great in thine eyes as seemeth best to thee For I accompt it a sufficient reward for al that euer I shal be able to do or suffer that thou hast admitted me vnworthy wretch into a place of liuing where I may know and euen see with mine eyes how to serue and please thee this I say is more then can be deserued by me For to serue thee is an honour aboue al that can be imagined by me yet without any regard of recompence it is due to thee that I serue and loue thee with al the forces of my body and soul which grant I may now begin to do and perseuer therin til my end that I may for thy own sake obtain the happines eternally to praise thee O remoue al impediments between my soul and thee Let me dy to al created things that I may liue alone to theeâ— O let al creatures be to me as if they were not to the end I may more fully attend to thee in the bottome of my soul where I wil in silence harken to thee Speak Peace to my soul that I may be capable of thy voice more sweet then al things whatsoeuer Speak to my hart but speak so as I may hear thee Teach me how to practise to thy honour those diuine vertues which make souls so pleasing to thee to wit Charity Humility Obedience Patience and Discretion which iudgeth between custome and true reason between opinion and thy true Iustice which manifesteth it self to those souls who seek only to loue and praise thee THIS pious soul hauing written thus far went no farther being surprised with a bodily indisposition vpoâ— the 29. or 30. of Iuly 1633. which proued to be hâ—r last sicknes that brought her to a happy death vpon the 17. of August following The last of these Confessions saue one she began as there appeareth vpon S. Mary Magdalens day being the 22. of Iuly next bâ—fore her death HEERE FOLLOVV SOME other Sentences and Sayings of the same pious Soul found in some others papers of hers THE interior or Spiritual disposition os man is of that great and infinit worth and moment that so it be wel al other matters wil also go wel and be in good plight And the good state of the interior and therby also of the exterior proceedeth from the harkning to and following of the Diuine interior Cal or inspiration the which to a â—oul capable of an internal life is or ought to be as al in al. And wo to such a soul who ouercome by threats or perswaâ—ions from without or by temptations within her or other occasions whatsoeuer gâ—ueth ouer her prosecution of Mental prayer by meanes wherof only is she capable of discerning and following the diuine wil and Cal. And therefor ô you souls that are capable of internal prayer do you accordingly prosecute it and be grateful to God for the grace of it For it causeth the greatest happines that is to be gotten in this liâ—e and an answarable happines in the future For by it in this life one passeth through al things how hard and paineful soeuer they be By it we become familiar euen with God him-self and to haue our conuersation in Heauen By it al impediments wil be remoued between God and the soulâ— By it you shal receaue light and grace for al that God would do by you By it we shal come to regard God in al things and profitably neglect our selues By it we shal know how to conuerse on earth without prâ—iudice to our souls And in fine by it we shal praise God and become so vnited to him that nothing shal be able to separate vs for time or eternity from his sweet Goodnes And let him be al in al to vs who only can satisfy our souls He is his own Praise iâ— which and by wâ—ich we are infinitly happy though of our selues we aâ—e able to praise and loue him but in a very poore maner who can say that desire nothing but to loue and praise him that they are poor seeing he who is more theirs then they are their owne is so rich ond to whom nothing is wanting that should make him an infinit happines in this let vs ioy in this iet vs glory without intermission when we are not able to attend vnto him and praise him as we would let vs commend our hart and soul to the Saints in Hâ—auen who without ceasing praise our Lord Let vs do that by them which we are not able to do by our selues yea let vs desire him who is his own praise and only is able to do it as he dâ—serueâ—h to haue it done to supply what he desireâ—h we should wish him Lâ—t vs sâ—ek no other coÌ„foâ—t but to be able without al comfort to be true to him Let vs rest in him alone and and not in any thing that is or can be creaâ—ted Let vs not seâ—ke the gist but the giuer O hoW little is al the loue we can giue him in comparison of that he deserueth from vs where therefâ—r shal thâ—re be room for any created thing in out souls Let vs wish and desire and as far as it lyes in vs procure that al loue be giuen to him Let him haue al Glory al Honour and al Praise Let vs desire the fauour of none but him alone to whose free disposition let vs stand for time and eternity as absolutly by ouâ— wil as if we neuer had any other freedom of wâ—l in vs. Nothing we do or suffer let vs esteâ—me great for our sinnes deserue much more Let our whole care tend to the magnifying of him Let his honour bâ— ours and let vs seek nothing
dust and ashes which is blown awâ—y with euery wind and hath no stability in it but so far as it is holpen by thy meere Mercy What flesh dareâ—h glory in itself or presume it is able to do any good Verily my God if I had most couragiously vndergon al the temptations miseries and afflictions that haue been or euer shal be by al thy seruants together I ought not to think my-self able to suffer the least that can be imagined as of my-self but iustly ought to feare mine own frailty Let them that glory therefor glory in thee and not in themselues O that some little spark of that true light which true Humility causeth would enter into my soul and neuer depart out of it til I were wholy trasformed into that loue which giueth thee al and it-self nothing sauing its own defectuousnes Thou only art Iust thou only Holy and I the most vile and contemptible of al thy creatutes in thine eyes who discerneth most cleerly how it stands with me for my pride and other my abominable sinnes Wash me in thy Bloud and I shal yet become whiter then snow What would it auaile me if I were neuer so great in the eyes of men yea euen as great as I most vnworthy am in mine own Could they saue me or iustify me in thy sight Is it not affirmed by the Spirit of al Truth Vanitas omnis homo viuens Al liuing man is vanity without any exception of persons Verily my God we are indeed but as we are in thy sight who iudgest according to the Humility of our hart which is hidden from the sense of man Man may iudg that to be Humility which indeed is pride and there is no pride so great as that which clotheth it-self vnder he colour of Humility but thou canst not be deceaued by any O happy soul that only desireth thee to be a witnes of her desirs endeauours and intentions Happy they that are approued by thee my God though heâ—r they be despised neglected and contemned by the whole world With what face can my soul tel my God I desire to loue him if I do it not more willingly then I do vndergo the hard censures of men Shal I desire that which I do or say may be wel thought of by others since my God him-self was thought to do al he did in the power of Beelzebub Shal she who hath done nothing that is good be in esteeme when as her beloued who is goodnes and Iustice it-self was despised and contemned O my God far be this disloyalty from my hart Let me suffer for my sinnes that I may become pleasing in thy sight which is al my soul desireth O my God when shal I find and possesse thee in the bottom of my soul When shal the eyes of my body be so closed from beholding al vanity that the eyes of my soul may be cleered by thee to the discerning of truth Truly thou art a hidden God and none can walk in thy light but the peaceful Humble patient and clean of hart O if we did but once see in thy light of truth how little we are able to do or suffer of our selues we would tremble to think we were able to do any thing that were good or to attribute any thing to our own endeauours Nisi Dominus aedificauerit domum in vanum laborauerunt qui aedificant eam Nisi Dominus custodierit ciuitaetem fruâ—tra vigilat qui custodit eam Vnles God build the house in vaine do they laâ—our who build it Vnles God guard the City in vaine do they watch who guard it It is in vaine for you to rise before light O light shine in my soul and let not the darknes of mine own ignorance ouerwhelme me any longer Let my soul loue that it may liue in and to thee alone my Lord God VVhen wilt thou giue me the graâ—e of true Humility which is so much spoken of and so hard to be known what it is indeed O we can neuer while we lâ—ue in this world be secure from falling into the cursed sin of pride which maketh souls more odious to thee then any oâ—her sin whatsoeuer O my God helpe me out of this snare which laieth open the way to al other sinnes O who dare though hee had been rapt into the third Heauens with S. Paul attribute any gift or grace to his owne desert What haue we that we haue not receaued and if we haue â—eceaued it wherof should we glory O how soone do we loose the the labour of many years in one moment by pride God protecteth vs and directeth vs if we remain humble but in our pride he leaueth vs to our selues til we see and feele to our cost our own weaknes and misery O how plaine doth it appeare to those who are now secure for al eternity in thy Heauenly Kingdom that if thou hadst with drawn thy grace from them while they liued heer their case would haue been most miserable O how far are they from attributing any thing to their own metits saue so far as they were meerly enabled therto by thy grace And how far short do they esteeme their deserts to be of the Glory and Honour they receaue from thy Merciful and bountiful hand What pains what labours what suffering of disgraces can deserue to enioy thee and see theeâ—ace â—ace to face â—or euer and euer Certainly those who enioy this happines haue receaued it by the merits of thy most bitter death and Passion which God graunt may bring me wretch also to Saluation Amen O Loue loue loue when shall nothing els liue in me but thy true loue my God how long shal I remaine deuided from thee When shal I by pure and perfect loue be vnited to my God al impediments being remoued When shal no created thing be able to diuert my soul from attending to my Lord God When shal I be able to suffer without offending my God or being weary thereof O how little true peace doth that soul enioy who careth for the praises of men or feareth their dispraises Nothing more slippery nothing more vnconstant nothing more vncertain then the fauour or friendship of man who to day wil be thy friend and extol thee to the skies to morrow none wil haue thee lesse in esteeme then he and what a misery then is it to place happines or security in the fauour of man And this ô my soul thy God permits thee to see to the end thou shouldst adhere to him alone and not to that which is subiect to fail Desire the friendship of God alone and then his friends both in Heauen and earth shal be ready to serue thee for thy aduancement in his loue and seruice What can any man diminish of thy good by his speaking or thinking il of thee Or what can he add to thee indeed by highly esteeming of thee Remember that al Praise is due vnto God but to thee confusion of face
for thy abominable sins Giue al Glory vnto him with out whom thou couldst not so much as-haue a being My God be thou Adored and Exalted by al who art Blessed for euer and euer Amen Thou O sweet Iesu hast pronounced with thine own blessed mouth these words Consueor tibi Pater Domine Caeli terrae quia abscondisti haec à sapientibus prudentibus reâ—elasÌ„ti â—ae parâ—ulis Ita Paeter quoniam sic placitum fuit ante te I confesse to thee Father Lord of Heauen and Earth that thou hast hid these from the wise and prudâ—nt and reuealod them to little ones Yea Father for so it wel pleased thee These are the souls to whom thy yoke is sweet and thy burthen light these obserue and see in the light of thy truth that al thou dost or ordainest is iust and true and that it is our sin and ignorance only that peruerteth the order of thy Iustice. O let vs crie out to thee and prepare our souls that in thy light we may see light For it is not human wisedom or knowledg that wil serue our turn to find out thee in the bottome of our soul for which we were created and for which our soul hath such a capacity that the very Angels are amazed to see so great an honour and fauour to be offered and bestowed vpon so poor and frail a creature and yet that we should turn a deaf eare to our beloued who saieth his delight is to be with the children of men O how pittifully doth this most sweet and merciâ—ul God of ours lament our losse and misery of loosing that happines of enioying him in our souls in an exâ—raordinary maner yea euen in this lifeâ— if we did not cast away our loue and affect on vpon created things neglecting and forgetting the noble capacity wherewith the hath most bountifully endued our souls Hear therefor what he sayeth by his Prophet Be ye astonished O Heauens vpon this and the gates thereof be ye extreamly desolate vpon it for two euils hath my people done viz. They haue left and forsaken me the Fountain of liuing water and haue digged for themselues cesternes Cesterns that are broken that are not able to hold waters O wo is me my God that I should thus haue â—orsaken thee Whaâ— meaneth this thy great Mercy I should haue lamented mâ—ne own misery of not only neglecting to seeke after thee alone but also of most miserably offending thee infinit waâ—es and thou bemoanedst my case as if some preiudice were therby to come to thee O what wouldst or couldst thou loose by my not being so happy as truly to seek after thy loue truly nothing seeing thy Glory cannot be added to or diminishâ—d by my misery But thy infinit Charity which brought â—hee into the world to suffer and dy for me is the reason of thy merâ—fful calling vpon my poor soul to which thou hast said I wil not the the death of a sinner but rather that he be conuerted and liue In the hope of this promise I fly to thee Thou who art able to do al thâ—ngs helpe me that can do nothing Thou knowst I haue placed al my hope and comfort in thee alone and that I deâ—est al that is in me which is displeasing in thine eyes Far be it from me to haue any other intention in any thing I do or omit but simply to please thee I renounce al inordinate affection to al created things whatsoeuer and whatsoeuer I do that is not done sincearly for thy loue and honour I most willingly submit my-self to any punishment thy iust and Merciful Iustice shal lay vpon me Giue what â—hou commandst and then exact what thou pleasest O my God is it much I serue thee whom al the world is bound to serue O what is more sweet then to serue thee for loue without any pretence of our own commodity for time or eternity Truly in this lyeth hidden the greatest comfort that a soul banished from thee is capable of receauing To â—hee who art the supreame and only true Good by al creatures be al Praise eternally giuen Amen This which next of al followeth she there writ as taken out of S. Augustin viz. I was not acquainted with that true interior Iustice which iudgeth not by custome but by the righteous Law of Almighty God O My God apâ—d te est fons viâ—ae in lumine tuo videbimus lumen Qui sequitur me non ambulat in tenebris With thee is the fountain of life in thy light we shal see light who followeth me walketh not in darknes and they that walke not in thy light can neuer iudg of things according to thy iustice but iudge according to custome or their own sense This true light is thy gift and Grace which thou only impartest in aboundance to tâ—e meek and humble of hart and to those who endeauour to regard and seek thee alone in al their actions in simplicity and sincerity of hart and who intend thee only in al they do or omit Vnderneath the picture there annexed of saint VVilliam Duke of Aquitain she had written as followeth viz. O my God through the meâ—its and intercession of this most glorious Saint be merciful to me sinner and giue me grace to loue and praise thee with al my soul and strength and neither for time or eternity to seek or desire any thing but only thy-self alone simply and purely by sincere and perfect loue resting in thee my God aboue al gifts and creatures and Adoring thee who art God Blessed for euer and euer Amen Amen Mans life on earth is a continuall warfar and liuing but a short time he is replenished with many miseries VVatch therefor and pray that you enter not into temptation By Humility and Praier we shal be able to passe through any difficulties To the image of death there annexed together with other enseiâ—nes of death she added these following words viz. O how little to be esteemed or desired is al that passeth away with time Thus far of her Deuotions written by her in her Breuiary within ihe year before she dyed HEERE FOLLOVV SOME other Deuotions of the same pious soul D. Gertrude More A short Oblation of this smal work by the writer gatherer thereof to our most sweet and Merciful God MT GOD to thee I dedicate This simple work of mine And also with it hart and soul To be for euer thine No other motiue wil I haue Then by it thee to praise And stir vp my poor frozen soul By loue it-self to raise O I desir neither tongue nor pen But to extol Gods praise In which exces â—le melt away Ten thousand thousand waysâ— And as one that is sick with loue Engraues on euery Tree The Name and Praise of him she loues So shal it be with me IF the glorious light of thy Church Saint Augustin whose hart was so inflamed with loue that the whole world was a witnes thereof
me in their holy prayers which are most pleasing to thee And I also desire that some wil out of their Châ—rity reade these things to me which heerafter follow when sicke to deathâ— shal be becompassed with those fears and terrors which ordinarily accompany that dreadful hower at which time as al oâ—her be thou my helper and Protectorâ— and in the Bowels of thy Mercy Good Father remâ—mber me poor begger and from heauen send me now and at my departure thy Grace which may bring me to thee where I may with al thy Elect Praiseâ— Adore and worship thee for euer and euer An acte of Contrition partly taken ouâ— of the words of blessed S. Augustin 1. O LORD I confesse I haue sinned aboue the sands of the Sea in number yet such is the greife which I take thereat that I wil not refuse to suffer any kind of punâ—shment for thâ— same O Iesus whatsoeuer thy wil shal be that I should do I desire to performe it according to thy holy wil. I haue nothing to offer vnto thee but a hart willing to do whatsoeuer thouâ—ouldst â—ouldst haue me 2. Hâ—er I offer my-self bound both hand and foot and I lye prostrate at thy feet crauing pardon for my abominable sins and offences 3. I fly not away I appeale not from thy sentence oâ—herwise then from thy Iustice to thy Mercy which we sinners do daily experience to be aboue al thy works 4. I do not plead to be released of any punishment but rather that thou maist iudge me according to thine own Blessed wil only let me not be separated from thee O thou thy-self dost say to vs Thou wilt not sinners death But that we do conuert and liue euen while our souls haue breath And no more then to cease to be canst thou O God refuse To pardon humble penitents that do themselues accuse Being no accepter of persons al hauing cost thee deare Yea euen thy very life it-self how can I therefor fear If euer yet he did disdain sinners that fled to him Then had I little cause of hope but this was neuer seen Foâ— if they doe return to thee thy hart thou wilt not close As witnes can my wretched soul who was so like to lose Al grace and goodnes if thou hadst not me with helpe preuented By sins that would with bloudy teares be while I liue lamented If I as grateful were to thee as thou deseruest I should Or as another in my case vuto thy mercy would But thou whiles that thou liuedst heer by tokens plain didst shew That none should be refused by thee who dost in mercy flow And that my wicked hart did proue who after â—ins so many Hath found much fauour in thine eys without deseruing any O blessed euer be my God for this preuenting grace Which I vnworâ—â—y haue receaud in this most happy place I fled from thee by many sins and thou didst follow me As if my ruin would haue causd some detriment to thee How can this choose but wound my hart when I remember it And euer serue to humble me while at thy feet I sit From whence my Lord my God and al permit me not to rise til I do loue thee as thou wouldst the which doth al comprise 5. I know thou wilst not the death of a sinner but rather that I be conuerted and liue 6. Be pacified therefor I beseech thee for thine own saâ—e and receaue me into thy fauour looke vpon thine own wounds and let them plead my pardon do not for euer blot me out of â—he book of life but rather giue me grace faithfully heerafter to serue and please thee 7. I know it is reason that one who hath been so vngrateful to thy Supreame Maiesty as I haue been should humbled despise and willingly abase himself euen at the feet of al creatures which thy sweet Goodnes grant me to do that I may heerafter find sauour in thine eyes who be blessed and praised by al for euer Amen O sweet Iesus to whom nothing is impossible but not to be merciful to the miserable forgiue me mine offence I am sorry from the bottom of my hart that euer I offended thee or contradicted thy holy wil but I know thou canst forgiue more then I can offend which maketh me confident of being receaued into thy fauour though thy most aboundant Mercy to whom my God be giuen al Laud. Honour and Praise by al creatures in heauen and in earth for euer and euerâ— Amen O amiable Iesus behold al thy creatures do inuite and exhort me to yeald thâ—e praises for al thy benefits which haue been I must ackowledg without end or measure towards me thy vnworthy creature Euery creature doth in their kind sing and set forth thy great Goodnes inuiting me to loue only thee and yet behold how cold and dul I am in Louing Praising and Exalting thee O what shal I say but cry out to thee who art my hope my help my Loue my life and Al yea my Father my Spouse and my God to grant thy Grace may not be void in me after so many infinit benefits O be thou heerafter the only desire and ioy of my soul. Let me look after nothing but thee loue nothing but thee let me night and day sigh and long after thee my beloued Let it suffice me to haue my inteutions and proceedings only approued by thee O let me honour and respect al for thy sake howsoeuer they treate me for my ingratitude hath been so great to thee that al creatures as wel goâ—d as bad may iustly despise me and do thee great honour thereby I offer thee therefor thine own merits seeing I haue none of mine own for those that shal any way reuenge thy quarrel by afflicting her who deserueth nothing but hel for hauing so often offended thee After something which she had collected out of the following of Christ concerning Prayer she writ as followeth O MY Lord God how much do thy Saints praise and commend the holy Exercise of Praier O how happy are â—hose that haue no other study or care then how to extol and praise thy Diuine Maiesty and in Humility of hart to make their necessities known vnto thee who art the Father of Mercies Dius totius consolationis qui consolatur nos in omni tribulatione nostra And the God of al consolation who comforts vs in al our tribulation To whom should we sinners fly but to thee my God who didst thou euer reiect that lamented and wâ—s sory for their sinnes Nay did not publicans and harlots finde thee more willing to forgiue theÌ„ they could be to aske for pardon Thou who forgauest S. Peter S. Mary Magdalen S. Augustin and infinit others their sinnes and offences be merciful to me who groaneth in spirit against my-self to see and remember that I haue made no more hast to conclude an euerlasting peace and league with thee O my God To thee now al the powers of my scattered