like so many cobwebs in every corner thereof I would have it cleane from all evill counsells that it may performe a new obedience to my God I would have it true too as well as cleane Hebr. 10.22 not onely sprinkled from an evill conscience and my body washed with pure water but I would have it true allso that I may draw neere with it unto the Lord in full assurance of faith Prov. 19.8 I would have it wise to with-stand all evill motions and affections because hee that getteth wisedome in heart loveth his owne soule and hee that keepeth understanding shall live 1. King 3.6 I would have it upright for so David who was a man after Gods owne heart walked before the Lord in trueth and in righteousnesse and in uprightnesse of heart and then I shall be sure to have it defended Ps 7.10 for my defence shall be of God which saveth the upright in heart I would have it enlightened 2. Cor. 4.6 I would have God who commanded the light to shine out of darknes shine in my heart to give the light of the knowledg of the glory of God in the face of Iesus Christ 2. Pet. 1 19. I would have the day dawne and the day starre arise in my heart for onely such an enlightened heart can be able to perceave Deu. 29 4. and cause mine eyes to see and mine cares to heare it is onely such a heart that can understand it was onely such a heart as the wise understanding King Solomon prayed for 1. King 3.9 Ps 86.11 Rom. 10.10 Dan. 7.9 O what a happinesse should I enioy could I but prevail with God for such a heart Such a heart as should be united to feare his name that so with it I might believe unto righteousnesse Surely hee who is the ancient of dayes hee who cryed by the mouth of his holy Euangelist saying Rev. 21 5. Behould I make all things new even hee and hee alone can thus renew can give mee such a new and good heart It will not be new to him though it be so to mee for his it is of ould though not mine I looke for a new heaven and a new earth where in dwelleth righteousnesse 2 Pet. 3.13 and I looke for it according to his owne promise but what good will that doe mee unlesse my earth my heart be first made new unlesse I have also a new heaven first in that heart unlesse I have a new heart Mat. 27 60. Christ was layed in a new tombe hewen out of a rock where in never was any man lay before My ould heart is a rock as hard as heavy impenitrable as a rock yet it exceedeth not the power of the All-mighty even out of that rock to hew a new tombe a tombe wherein the ould man never lay and there if hee please hee can place my Iesus I am like a lumpe of dough Mat. 16 12. 1. Cor. 7.5.8 vers 6. vers 7. sowred with the leaven of the Pharisees with the leaven of mallice and wickednesse and alasse I know that a litle of that leaven leaveneth the whole lumpe but hee can purge out that ould leaven that I may be a new lumpe but then I must moisten â—t with my teares and kneade it with contrition And why should I not Why should I not cry for such a heart Why should I not begge and intreate and weepe and mourne for such a new heart Children are apt to cry for every new thing which they see or heare of If God would be pleased to make mee his â—hild I should not neede to cry for such a new heart hee would freely and quickly give it mee But yet certainly I must cry for it before hee will give it Teares are the counters by which my prayers my desires must be numbered even all my petitions which I tender unto him for a heart so new In ancient times the Clepsydra's or hower-glasses were not filled with sand but water and time was measured by the drops which fell from them Thus must I measure my time too even by the drops which fall from the glasse from the chrystall of mine eyes for my want of this heart Though formerly I have beene so exceeding drie as to measure with sand ' yet now I must dissolve into an account by my teares Surely such a heart as I pant for is a most pretious jewell and yet my God cannot choose but trust mee with it if I sollicit him with my teares in the name of his Sonne Hee can even congeale my teares into orientall pearles and so turne them into jewells and having heightened the vallew of those precious pearles for them hee can lend mee that heart which I sue for I desire but the loane of it I would not for all the world have it wholly mine for then I am sure I should presently spoile it I would but borrow it Mal. 3.17 and in that day when hee maketh up his jewells I would restore it him againe I know that hee would so delight in it if I keepe it tenderly and charily that hee would weare it in his eare hee would heare the cry of it as hee heard the cry of the children of Israel Ex. 2.23 vers 24 by reason of their bondage Well if that be the way to gett such a jewell a jewell so inestimable so pretious if I may gett it by crying surely I will Weepe I will cry With Ioseph Gen. 43 30. I will make hast my bowells shall yearne within mee I will seeke where to weepe I will enter into my chamber and weepe there Hee hath given such a jewell to others and why may not I as well hope to prevaile as others have done Hee hath enough of them hee make's them hee makes them at any time and that easily too very easily onely with a word of his mouth Therfore I will cry with a greate and exceeding bitter cry Gen. 27 34. vers 38 and say unto him Father blesse mee even mee allso ô my father I will lift up my voyce and weepe and will say unto him Hast thou but one blessing my father Blesse mee even mee allso ô my father Ier. 3.21 Vpon the high places was once heard both a weeping and a supplication allso of the children of Israel I will weepe too towards the high place towards the seate of my God every teare shall have a tongue every tongue shall cry for this heart which I want Or â—f all that will not doe Iam. 3.5 then this litle unruely member which hath boasted so great things this litle fire that would formerly kindle so great matters shall now burne with Zeale of my desires and with it I will pray and say The Prayer RIghteous father Ier. 17.10 who searchest the hearts and tryest the reines and in that search doest find my corrupted heart to be full of pollution and uncleanesse vouchsafe I beseech thee to
ghost c 25.8 and dyed in a good old age Iud 8.32 1. Chr 29.28 Gen 23 1. vers 2. an old man full of yeeres and was gathered to his people Gideon the sonne of Ioash dyed in a good old age David dyed in a good old age full of dayes riches and honour Sarah was an hundred twentie and seaven yeeres old when shee dyed in Kiriath arba These and thousands of others who lived greate and good ages lay downe in the dust and their spirits were caried by Angells into the kingdome of happinesse the citty of my God why then should not I endeavour to follow them to blisse Dye I must but when or where or how I can not determine Yet sure I am that if I live the life of the righteous I shall dye their death Num 23.10 and receave their reward As neere as I am to my longest home I am not assured what death I shall dye neither by what disease nor with what torments or ease Gen 42.38 Iacob was afraid that his gray haires should be brought downe with sorrow to the grave When David gave Solomon a charge concerning Ioab hee commanded him 1. King 2.6 saying Let not his hoary head goe downe to the grave in peace Concerning Shimei hee likewise charged him vers 9. saying His hoary head bring thou downe to the grave with blood The rebellious Israëlites were threatned for their disobedience Deut 28.49 vers 50 that the Lord should bring a nation against them which should not regard the person of the oldâ— nor shew favour to the young I have noe more priviledg nor prerogative then they unlesse I can prove that I am better then they Nay more the manner or the kind of death though never so tormenting is farre from satisfying for the smallest offence My death may be troublsome and sull of miserie and yet my doome may be full of horrour O what shall I doe What shall I doe to escape that sentence of wrath which can never be recalled The more yeeres I have lived the more sinnes I have committed The words of the ould Patriarch doe more properly belong unto mes then they did unto him Few Gen 47.9 and evill have the dayes of the yeeres of my life beene O what a world of crimes is my soule oppressed with What shall I doe to pacifie my God against whom my sinnes and offences have beene committed Nothing but blood can satisfie for my skarlet crimes and noe blood can appease him but the blood of his Sonne and noe share can I have in that most precious blood unlesse I seriously and faithfully repent mee of my sinnes Lord Is 56.3 though I may say with the Eunuch Behold I am a drie tree yet it is in thy power as well to draw water out of the dryest tree as the obdurate rockes O my God I desire to offer thee both mine eyes full of teares and a heart full of groanes If all that litle moisture which is left in my body could possibly be converted into one teare of timely and acceptable repentance even that teare ô God would I readily offer thee Lord I grieve in my very soule for the pollutions of my soule and am seriously and heartily offended at my selfe for offending thee Accept ô God the throbs of my fainting heart and be reconciled unto mee in the blood of thy sonne O Lord I sigh ô Lord I grieve My heart panteth my bowells yerne and my very soule languisheth and pineth to receave the assurance of thy favour I will lye at the poole of Bethesda as hee did who was diseased neere fortie yeeres Io. 5.5 I will lye at the gate of thy mercy ô Iesus and there will I weepe and grieve and lament and call and cry for mercy at thy hands ô blessed Redeemer and my petitions I will tender in all humilitie and devotion praying and saying The Prayer MErcifull Lord God Is 46.3 who didst promise to carrie the house of Iacob from the belly and the wombe vers 4. even to old age and hoary haires despise not the humble suite of thine aged and feeble servant My many yeeres I must confesse I have spent in vanitie and scarce one minuit of them have I devoted to thy service as I ought to have done Every day have I offended thee and every hower have I beene disobedient to thy lawes My child-hood hath beene full of folly my youth of stubbornesse my riper yeeres have beene apt to wantonnesse and mine old and aged dayes to coveteousnesse and impenitencie Thou mightest long since in thy justice have destroyed mee in my sinnes and have given mee a portion in the land of darknesse But now ô father since thou hast spared mee so long doe not condemne mee at the last Let the heavie heart and the trembling tongue and the shaking hands and the most sorrowfull soule of an humble convert find favour in thine eyes With thy mercy Iob. 4.4 Ps 35.3 Ps 39.4 ô Lord strengthen my weake hands support my feeble knees comfort my drooping heart and say unto my soule I am thy salvation Lord make mee to know mine end and the measure of my dayes that I may know how fraile I am vers 5. Ps 93.2 Ps 102.27 Ps 90.9 Mine age is nothing before thee for thou art from everlasting and thy yeeres shall not faile O be thou reconciled unto mee through the passion of my Redeemer for when thou art angry all our dayes are gone wee bring our yeeres to an end as a tale that is told Ps 71.9 O cast mee not off in this time of old age forsake mee not now my strength faileth mee Though the heavens Is 51.6 and the â—â—earth shall waxe old as doeth a garment and they that dwell therein shall dye yet thy salvation shall be for ever and thy righteousnesse shall not be abolished Ps 43.3 Ps 71.18 Ps 23.4 Ps 62.7 Prov. 23.22 O send out thy light and thy trueth to leade mee now I am old and gray headed ô my staffe and thou who art the onely rock of strength forsake mee not Thou hast commanded our children to hearken to their fathers that begat them and not to despise their mothers when they are old O my heavenly father doe thou make mee thy child by grace and adoption that I may hearken unto thee and never despise or forsake thy commandements Make mee allways remember thy workes ô Lord Ps 77.11 and call to mind thy wonders of old time Give mee grace to be in behaviour as becometh holinsse Tit 2.3 not given to the vices which commonly delude the ancient and decrepid but that I may be a teacher of the things that are good Peaceably ô my father Iob. 5.26 let mee come to my grave in a full age like as a shock of corne cometh in in his season By the course of nature I am ready to goe the way of all the earth
then the great Lord of heaven and Earth and to worship them It is a quarrellsome a fighting heart a heart that like Davids hath often struck often smitten mee It is a double heart a dissembling heart a double minded heart It is a heart like a beasts like Nebuchadnezars when hee was driven from the sonnes of men and his heart was made like the beasts It is a hard heart hardened like Pharao's like the Israelites in the day of provocation a hard and impenitent heart that treasured up unto it selfe wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God a heart that was hardened and fell into mischiefe a hard and unbelieving heart a heart alienated from the life of God through ignorance by reason of the hardnesse there of and like that of the Israelites it is both a hard Eze. 3.7 Iob 41 24. Ier. 5.3 Ez 3.9 and an impudent heart It is a heart harder then the nether mill-stone as firme as a stone as hard as a rock yea 't is as hard as an adamant even harder then the flint Oh what a heart was this and yet 't is runne away from mee 't is gone what shall I doe I faine would weepe for the losse of it but I cannot weepe without it c 24.23 The curse which was threatned to the Iewes is fallen upon mee I cannot mourne nor weepe I doe onely pine away for the losse thereof But why should I grieve for the departure of a heart so dry so dead so fatt and so blind Of a heart so hidden so plagued so wicked and so condemning Of a heart so deceitfull so deluding so trouble some so deepe Of a heart so froward so evill so reproaching and so troubled Of a heart so trembling so idolatrous so smiting and so double Of a heart so beast-like so hard so unbelieving and so inpudent I consider and acknowledge how wicked it is yet I am sorrie mee think's that 't is gone But am I sure that this sinfull heart is gone indeede Or doe I but seeme to goe heart-lesse up downe seeking for that which hath bred this disturbance Ah I feare that I have it still with in my bosome and yet I am fondly possessed with a feare that I have lost it I may find it againe too soone to my sorrow and upon a strickt enquiry woe is mee I shall find it a bout me at every turne I may find it at my table in every dish and there 't is gluttonous in a glasse of wine and there 't is drunken in filthy muck and there 't is coveteous in my bed and there 't is lascivious in mine apparell there 't is proud in the wellfare of my neighbours there 't is envious in a quarrell and there 't is contentious in the synagogues of Sathan and there 't is idolatrous Where can I looke what can I behould that 's naught that 's wicked and not find my heart there And why then all this complaining All this seeking and searching for it Alas Alas t is too bad to leave mee 't is too wicked to runne from mee From hence shall grow my teares even because I understand not my heart It is with mee but I know it not it is within mee but I understand it not it torment's mee and yet I am so stupid that I feele it not it is ready to bring mee to ruine yet I seeke not to prevent the danger Lord how mad am I thus to possesse yet not to believe that I possesse a heart thus wicked and yet not to believe that it is so wicked What shall I doe Nay what wilt thou doe with such a heart as this It dishonoureth thee it corrupteth mee From goodnesse it drive's mee to wickednesse it leades mee Whither soever I goe whatsoëver I doe it induceth mee to sin by consequence without thine infinite mercies to eternall damnation In this desperate condition what shall I doe Amend it I cannot correct it I cannot and yet be quit of it be rid of it I cannot But why doe I give over the hope of its amendment as if noe means were left to prevent my ruine I must not distrust of the goodnesse of my God My heart is dry but by his assistance I will water it with my teares It is dead I will re-vive it with my teares it is fatt I will make it pine with my teares it is blind I will open it's eyes with my teares it is hidden I will reveale it in my teares it is infected I will cure it with my teares it is wicked I will correct it with my teares it is deceitfull I will punish it with my teares it is troublesome I will quiet it with my teares it is froward I will still it with my teares it is evill I will better it with my teares it trembleth I will comfort it with my teares it is idolatrous I will rectifie it with my teares it is quarelsome I will tame it with my teares it is double I will single it againe with my teares it is beast-like I will new baptize it in my teares it is hard I will mollifie it with my teares it is incredulous I will make it faithfull by my teares it is impudent I will make it blush with my teares Or if these eyes be drie or these teares but sew or these few teares of too litle vallew to effect my desires O thou who once in the fervency of thy devotion in the depth of thine agouy didst seate as it were greate drops of blood Luc 22.44 which fell from thy body for the sinns of he world o thou who in thy tender compassion seeing Mary at thy feete weeping the Iewes about thee weeping for the deoeased Lazarus didst groane in spirit Io 11.33 weepe with the mourners increase thou the teares of mine eyes for the sinns of my heart give them vertue by those teares which fell from thine that I may weepe and lament and be sorrowfull for my corrupted heart Io 16.20 that so my sorrow may be turned into joy Amen The second part Of the Soliloquie A lamentation for the losse of an honest heart NOe paine can be compared to the paine of the heart and cerrainly noe losse can be so great as the losse of the heart What comfort then can I expect can I find in any thing who have lost my first my best my dearest heart Once I had one and wâ—e is to this time where in I must say I bad Yes I had indeede I had a heart such a heart so plyable a heart to all goodnesse that I am enforced now to my cost to vallew it onely by the losse thereof I was theÌ„ a field Ps 107 37. Io 15.1 Luc 8.21 a pleasant field that yeelded my fruit with increase Yea I was manured ploughed sowed and harrowed by the best of husband-men by God him self The seede was the word of God vers
the Soliloquie A resolution for the time to come VVHile the earth remaineth sayth the Lord to Noah seede time and harvest cold and heate summer and winter Gen 8.22 day and night shall not cease This is a faithfull promise of the true God and therfore cannot be questioned or doubted by Christians But how long shall these seasons last Onely as long as the earth remaineth And how long shall the earth remaine God onely knoweth that it is not in the power or reach of the wisest upon earth to limit the time thereof A time will come Mat 24 35. when heaven and earth shall passe away when the Sunne shall be darkened and the Moone shall not give her light vers 29 and the Starres shall fall from heaven and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken but of that day vers 36 and hower knoweth noe man noe not the Angells in heaven but the Father onely The earth I know shall have a time of dissolution and her funerall piles shall be kindled and fired by him Is 30.33 whose breath like a streame of brimstone doth kindle Tophet Yet though I know not how soone this time shall be expired I hope it may be deferred for many ages and so peradventure it may be But what if it be What can the delaying thereof advantage mee How many ages have passed since the creation of the world How many millions of people have had their successions since the death of Abel I neither was created with the first nor for any thing I know shall I remaine with the last If therfore the earth and the seasons of the earth shall continue a thousand yeares if yet I live not out that thousand yeares what can the age of the world advantage mee Why then doe I fasten my hopes upon future times Why doe I confidently reckon upon yeeres to come or moneths or weekes or dayes Nay why upon to morrow Why upon an hower Why upon a minuit There is nothing more sure then that my former dayes are past and gone and may not be re-called Nothing is more certaine then that the present instant is short and cannot continue And nothing againe is more uncertaine to mee then the future time whereon I depend Moreover If I were sure to live a certaine proportion and number of dayes or weekes or moneths 2. King 20.6 if I were sure that the Lord would adde unto my dayes fifteene yeares as hee did to Hezekiahs yet how doe I know that hee would give mee grace to repent in those fifteene yeeres An impenitent life is but a living death and which is worst of all after that cometh judgment Heb 9.27 If then I vainely flatter my selfe with a hope that my life shall be prolonged and relying upon the broken reede of that deceaving hope if I deferre my repentance I doe but hope that God will lengthen my dayes that I may increase my sinnes so by consequence that my punishment may be increased There is indeede a sort of coveteous people in the world which promise to themselves a continuance of their lives that they may increase their riches These are they which say Iam 4 13. To day or to morrow wee will goe into such a citty and continue there a yeare and buy and sell and gett gaine vers 14 whereas as the Apostle saith they know not what shall be to morrow For what is our life It is even a vapour that appeareth for a litle time and then vanisheth away And there is a sort of luxurious Atheists and Epicures which say Come yee Is 56.12 I will fetch wine and wee will fill our selves with strong drinke and to morrow shall be as this day and much more aboundant Wised 2.5 These are they which say Our time is a very shadow that passeth away and after our end there is noe returning for it is fast sealed that noe man cometh againe vers 6. Come on therfore let us enjoy the good things that are present and let us speedily use the creatures vers 7. like as in youth Let us fill our selves with costly wine and ointments and let noe flower of the spring passe us vers 8. Let us crowne our selves with rose-buds before they be withered vers 9. Let none of us goe without his part of voluptuousnesse let us leave tokens of our joyfullnes in every place for this is our portion and our lott is this And these are they which like the rich Epicure in the Gospel say unto their Soules Lu 12.19 Soule thou hast much goods layed up for many yeares take thine ease eate drinke and be merry All these suppose that man was created onely for meates and not meates for man They conceave that every one shall have a time of pleasure and wickedly they seeke it in the vanitie of the creatures But oh that both they and I might ever have those words of the All mighty sounding in our eares vers 20 Thou foole this night thy soule shall be required of thee and then whose shall those things be which thou hast provided This night Lord Yes this very hower this very instant thou mayst strike mee dead then as death leaves mec judgment shall find mee O it will be a time of horrour and amazement to those that prepare not for to those that expect not his comeing 1. Pet. 4.17 Saint Perer sayd long agoe that The time is come that judgment must beginne at the house of God and if it first beginne at us Lord put mee into that number what shall the end be of them that obey not the Gospel of God And if the righteous scarcely be saved vers 18 where shall the ungodly and sinners appeare Hearke Doest thou heare that ô my soule The righteous shall scarcely be saved This is true for it is the word of trueth It was inspired by his Spirit who sayd Straite is the gate Mat 7.14 and narrow is the way that leadeth to life and few there be that find it O how I tremble when I reade that scarcely and that few What shall I doe to be one of those few allthough I obtaine it never so hardly allthough I know that I shall scarcely attaine to it Lord I will repent but doe thou assist mee Lord I will be faithfull but doe thou increase my faith Lu 17.5 I will doe I say When How Am I sure of any time but the present moment Or can I stay the present instant and hinder it from flying Noe noe I cannot By thy grace therfore blessed God even now this very instant I doe repent and am unfeignedly sorrowfull for all mine offences this very moment I doe believe all that thou hast spoken in thy holy word I doe believe thee I doe believe in thee ô Lord helpe thou my un-beliefe Mar 9.24 If I shall have any more minuits allotted mee I wil number them with my teares
because I cannot number my sinnes Is 30.20 I will eate the bread of sorrow and I will drinke the water of contrition and affliction if I live to eate drinke any more See see how voluntarily these forward teares falling all-ready from mine eyes present themselves to my lipps steale into the corners privately as it were instructing mee that they are the wine which befitt's a sinner Lord let mee not live if I doe not love to grieve and grieve most affectionately for my hainous offences for those offences of mine which so scourged my Redeemer that they fetch'd the very blood from his sacred body O my God make mee thus to passe away my time if any more time shall be mine and then I know that thou wilt wiâ—e these teares from mine eyes Is 25.8 and number mee with those few Mat 7.13.14 which shall enter in at the strait gate But what a tedious life in the meane while shall I leade if I doe nothing but weepe and cry and mourne out my life Better be out of the world then to take noe pleasure in the world Must I droope away my youth and strength while I am here and then drop away into my grave and so be forgotten Yes I must If I will have my heaven hereafter I must have my hell here I cannot bee without my hell of sinne here for the devill is allways with mee in his temptations and why should I not desire rather to have my hell of punishment here then hereafter It will be wisedome to endure a light affliction upon earth rather them eternall flames with the damned It will be good policie to forbeare the vaine and fruitlesse joyes upon earth that I may have joyes unspeakeable and endlesse in heaven This life will not continue allways I shall not allways live here in the bitternesse of this anguish and teares There will come a time when I shall have beauty for ashes Is 61.3 the garment of gladnesse for the spirit of heavinesse when I shall have comfort and joy and that joy shall noe man take away from mee Io 16.22 Ps 126.6 If I now goe on my way weeping bearing pretious seede I shall doubtlesse come againe with rejoycing bringing my sheaves with mee But when will that time come Will it not be long first I am contented to weepe for my sinns but mee think's I am not willing to weepe too long O my soule doe but consider with thy selfe that all thy life is not long enough if al of it were spent in teares to satisfie my God for the smallest of mine offences They are infinite in number and hee is infinite whom they displease Yet through the merits of him Lu 19.41 who wept over Ierusalem my teares shall be accepted and my sinnes be forgiven I shall not thinke my time of sorrow long or tedious if I doe but hearken to the Angel which Saint Iohn saw standing upon the sea and upon the earth Reu 10 5. who lifted up his hand to heaven vers 6â— And sware by him that liveth for ever and ever who created heaven and the thines that therein are and the earth and the things that therein are and the sea and the things that are there in that there should be time noe longer This will come to passe and I am sure that it cannot be long first Let mee but have a litle patience let mee possesse my soule in patience but a litle while Lu 21.19 Heb 10 37. and hee that shall come will come and hee will not tarry O my God either lend mee noe more minuits or howsoëver let mee have noe more sinne But if I must of necessitie sinne so long as I shall live give mee true repentance as often as I sinne or if that bee a taske too full of difficultie for a woman to performe by reason of the weakenesse of the sexe and the frailtie of the flesh yet give mee such repentance as may be both true and timely and acceptable Lord I desire not to live any longer unlesse I might live without offending thy gratious Majestie What time soever thou shalt allott mee hereafter it shall be more then I will expect lest it should wickedly entice mee to deferre my repentance Yet if it be thy pleasure to adde unto my dayes let it be thy pleasure likewise to adde unto my repentance Make mee thy child by grace and then I shall pant with David and thirst with David and cry Ps 42.2 Reu. 22 20. with David O when shall I come and appeare before thee Finish soone these dayes of sinne and come Lord Iesus come quickly The Prayer Ancient of dayes Dan. 7.9 Reu. 4.8 whose garment is white as snow and the haire of whose head is like the pure wooll thou which wert and art and art to come Lord God All mighty have mercy upon mee the meanest and the unworthiest of all thy creatures Mercy o Lord I begge for the wicked and most sinfull losse of my pretious time O Lord forgive whatsoëver I have done amisse pardon ô father whatsoëver I have offended in This or none must be my time of sorrow Lord graunt that I may weepe and grieve mourne for my former sinfull life It is thy custome ô God it is thy promise Ps 50.15 Neh. 9.27 to hearken unto those who are in distresse When the Israelites cryed thou deliveredst them from the hand of their enemies in their troubles when they cryed unto thee thou heardest them from heaven My sinnes are mine enemies and farre more cruell then were the enemies of Israel Lord be thou as gratious now unto mee in this time of my trouble as thou wert then unto thy people heare mee from heaven and forgive mee the wickednesse of my misse-led life Is 33.2 I wayte for thee ô my God be thou mine arme every morning and my salvation in this time of spirituall sorrow Forgive mee the losse of the time allready past accept of my repentance at this time which is present and so protect guide and blesse mee that what time soever shall be to come I may wholly dedicate it to thee the donour Ps 20.12 1. Pet. 1.17 Eph. 5.16 Rom. 13.11 Gal. 6.10 Io 9.4 Teach mee so to number my dayes that I may apply my heart unto wisedome Make mee to passe the time of my sojourning here in feare redeeming the time because the dayes are evill and considering that it is now high time for mee to awake out of the sleepe of securitie Graunt that as I have opportunitie I may doe good unto all but especially to the house-hould of faith The night cometh when none can worke Lord doe thou draw mee Heb. 12 1. that I may follow after thee that so I may runne with patience the race which is set before mee vers 2. looking unto thee my Iesus the author and finisher of my faith Make mee to watch and attend thy coming ô
couch with my teares Every night shall be a night of sorrow a night of weeping for my sinns Ps 30.5 that so my God may send mee joy in the morning Apt I am to distrust my God to fixe my thoughts upon carking and caring for the things of to morrow Nor am I single in the offence too many are apt to sacrifice to their owne shallow titular wisedome choosing rather to depend upon their owne discretion then to rely upon the providence of the greate disposer Eccl 8.16 Such there are indeede that neither day nor night doe see sleepe with their eyes and like the wife in the Proverbs their candle goeth not out by night Prov 31.18 But I must remember the command of my Redeemer and Take noe thought for the morrow Mat 6.34 for the morrow shall take thought for the things of it selfe Sufficient unto the day is the evill thereof And as I may not distrust the providence of my God so neither will I nor may I boast of to morow Prov 27.1 for I know not what a day or a night may bring forth But I will besiech my God to give mee content with what soëver hee shall send Mercy I will beg for howsoëver hee shall dispose of meé and comfortable sleepe if hee spare mee life I will besiech him that if through a disturbed fant'sie I be molested with dreames even in those dreames hee will be pleased to open mine eares Iob 33.16 and seale mine instruction If the master and builder of this house of clay the greate Creatour of heaven and earth shall come and this night shall call mee to judgment Ps 139.13 Graunt ô my God ô thou who diddest forme mee and fashion mee in the wombe of my mother that I may watch in thee for the comeing of thy selfe whether it shall be at mid-night or at the cock-crowing or in the morning Mat. 13.35 that though thou comest suddenly yet thou find mee not sleeping And now I am lyeing downe let mee not be afraid Prov 3.24 yea make mee lye downe and my sleepe to be sweete unto mee Thus will I close mine eyes with sorrowfull teares and thus will I rely upon the protection of my God part 3 The third part Of the soliloquie To be used at the time of awaking in the night O What a trouble is this to one desirous to sleepe Thus to tosse and tumble this way and that way Thus to long to sleepe and not be able to sleepe I am sure that I did sleepe but I am not sure when I shall sleepe againe Lord how silent is the night How quiet are all things but my disturbed selfe How slowly doth the clock number the howres It strike's one two c and yet I sleepe not It was the complaint of holy Iob unto the Lord saying Iob 7.13 Vers 14. When I say my bed shall comfort mee my couch shall ease my complaint Then thou sharest mee with dreames and terrifiest mee through visions Mee think's I could partly be contented to be troubled as Iob was with dreames and visions so that I might be sure to have the benefit of the sleepe Every thing that move's but gently possesseth mee with feares The watch-man of the night which awaked the Apostle out of the sleepe of securitie disturb's mee with chaunting out the disisions of the night But is there noe way to be sure either to sleepe sweetely or to awake contentedly Is 57.21 There is noe sleepe noe rest noe peace saith my God to the wicked If I am wicked I cannot sleepe or if I doe it is rather a cessation from labour then a contented repose for the awaking conscience disturbes the fantsie with hideous apparitions Let mee a litle enter into my selfe consider whether I was prepared for sleepe before I applyed my selfe unto it Did I enter into my bed with divine meditations and make up the account of my former life before I drew the curtaines of mine eyes Certainly my God awake's mee that I may either repent of some sinne which I have formerly forgotten or praise him for some mercy for which I was not thankfull If thus while I awake my thoughts be divine whensoever I sleepe my rest shall be comfortable I will therfore take up the confidence of David who said that his soule should be satisfied as with marrow Ps 63.5 and fatnesse and his mouth should praise the Lord with joyfull lipps when hee remembred God upon his bed Vers 6. and meditated on him in the night watches I must even doe as David did if I hope for the blessing which David had Yea and so I will with the assistance of him Eccl. 5.12 who causeth the sleepe of the laborious to be sweete The Prophet mee thinks seemeth to challenge the Allmighty when hee saith Thou hast proved mine heart Ps 17.3 and visited mee in the night thou hast tryed mee and shalt find nothing in mee nothing evill nothing amisse Lord though I cannot acquitt my selfe in the words of that Prophet yet I will resolve with that Prophet I am utterly purposed that my mouth shall not offend Surely that blessed Psalmist had often discourse and conference with his God in the times of the night and doubtlesse hee was then most free for the service of his maker when most hee was freed from the affaires of his subjects O how comfortably hee does cheere up himselfe when hee saith I have remembred thy name Ps 119.55 ô Lord in the night and have kept thy law Yet this was not the practise of David onely Noe I find that it is a blessing which God in mercy hath sent to others allso of his servants Is 26.1 The Prophet Isaiah telleth Iudah of a day that should come when this song should be sung in their land wee have a strong citty vers 9. salvation will God appoint for walls and bulwarkes c. With my soule have I desired thee in the night yea with my spirit within mee will I seeke thee early O what a blessed time was this to Iudah O how sweete is the remembrance of God in the night It is sweete indeede to remember him in the night to sieke him in the night but then 't is doubtlesse full of horrour to sieke and not to find him And yet thus God threatneth Israël and Ephraim and Iudah the Priests and the people Hos 5.6 and the Princes that They should goe to sieke the Lord but they should not find him because hee would with-draw himfelfe from them And the Church complaineth that Cant 3.1 By night on her bed shee sought him whom her soule loueth shee sought him but shee found him not Alasse how came it to passe that her beloved would not be found Surely hee was not talking allthough thus Elyah mocked the Priests of Baal 1. King 18.27 concerning their dumb and stupid idoll nor pursueing nor in a journie nor
eate the bread of sorrowes for so wee give our beloved sleepe and why then should I delight in vanitie Prov. 6 10. Yet a litle sleepe therfore a litle slumber a litle folding of the hands to sleepe But hearke What 's that Mee think's I heare some-body call and say How long wilt thou sleepe vers 9. ô sluggard When wilt thou arise out of thy sleepe Yes I did heare some-body call so indeede It was none other but God himselfe by the mouth of King Solomon Even the same who telleth mee that If I doe not arise vers 11 then shall povertie come upon mee as one that travaileth and my want as an armed man c. 20.13 I must not love sleepe therfore lest I come to povertie but I must open mine eyes and I shall be satisfied with bread Well then I 'le rubb mine eyes and rowze up my selfe and bethinke my selfe of my businesse but first I will thinke upon the first upon the best upon God I have reason to give him the first the chiefest roome in my meditations because I layd mee downe and slept Ps 3.5 and againe I am now awaked and all this through the mercy and goodnesse of the Lord who sustained mee Hee preserved mee who neither slumbereth Ps 121.4 Ps 44.23 nor sleepeth allthough David cryeth out to him and saith Awake why sleepest thou ô Lord Arise cast us not off for ever But this was onely through the fervencie of his devotion in a time of severe persecution and affliction for at another time it was hee himselfe who confessed Ps 111.4 that Hee which keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleepe Surely hee may more properly call out from heaven to mee then David upon earth did to him in heaven and say Awake why sleepest thou Yea so indeede hee doeth promiseth mee and offereth mee the morning starre to light mee But it is upon condition that I must first overcome Overcome What Must I overcome my sleepe That I have done Must I over-come mine enemies Those I am commanded to love Mat. 5.44 Yet I must over-come mine enemies my sinnes and I must allso over-come my selfe Ps 18.28 the sinner and then I am sure hee will light my candle as hee did Davids The Lord my God will inlighten my darknesse hee will give mee comfort joy and prosperitie after my trouble Nay a candle shall not serve my turne hee hath promised to give mee a starre the morning starre which shall both enlighten my soule with the brightnesse of divine knowledg in this morning of a happinesse begunne and allso enlighten mee hereafter in the morning of the generall re-surrection when my body shall be glorified together with my soule I shall shine as the starres for ever and ever Dan. 12 3. Hee will give mee the morning starre to enlighten mee not to torment mee The prince of darknesse was once an Angel of light and then even hee was a morning stame but now I may say with the Prophet Is 14.12 verf. 13 How art thou fallen from heaven ô Lutifier sonne of the morning How art thou cutt dowme to the ground which saydest in thine heart I will exalt my throne above the starres of God! This starre I hope hee will not suffer to deceave mee with his false and deluding light for his glaring is but a counterfeit light and his leading tend's to the burning brimstone Noe hee will give mee a better starre even him who came to be a light to lighten the Gentiles Lu. 2.32 and to be the glorie of the people Israel even the Prophet of the highest C. 1.76 Vers 79 who giveth light to them that sâ—tt in darknesse and in the shadow of death And who is that but hee which professeth himselfe to be the roote Reu. 22 16. and the off-spring of David and the bright and the morning starre Hee himselfe hath shewed mee what I should doe hee hath taught mee by his owne example what dueties I should performe for I find it recorded of him that In the morning Mar. 1.35 rising up early a greate while before day hee went out and departed into a solitarie place and prayed So should I doe too I should doe so now for it is now about the same time or at most it differeth not much I will therfore arise I will arise out of my sinnes by his blessing I will arise out of them before day even before the day of the Lord cometh 2. Pet. 3 10. and I will goe out of them or force them out of mee I will depart from them into a solitarie place and retire to my meditations and be both solitarie and sorrowfull for all the offences which I have committed and then I will pray I will pray for forgivenesse through the meritts of him who prayed so early Or if I am too weake to master my selfe in this holy resolution I will besiech him that I may be as Simon Mar 1.36 and those that were with him that I may at leastwise follow after him Surely hee can so illuminate my thoughts that I may see thereby to performe my duety It was that morning starre which enlightened David and made him take up that holy resolution Ps 5.3 saying My voyce shalt thou heare in the morning ô Lord in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee and will locke up It was hee who enlightened him to put in practise that very resolution for hee himselfe testifieth of himselfe Ps 130.6 saying My soule wayteth for the Lord more then they that watch for the morning I say more then they that watch for the morning It was that morning starre which enlightened the people Luc 21 â—8 that they might all see to come to him early into the temple to heare him Ps 119 147. It was that morning starre againe which enlightened David when hee prevented the dawning of the morning and cryed when hee hoped in his word It was that morning starre which gave light unto Ioshua and the people Ios 6.15 vers 20 when they compassed Iericho on the seaventh day early about the dawning of the day seaven times after which the wall fell downe flatt so that the people went up into the citty every one straite before him and tooke the citty So will I wayte for him so will I prevent the dawning of the morning so will I direct my prayer unto him so will I heare him in his temple and so will I encompasse Iericho about the dawning of the day the citty of Satan the â—trong hold of the Serpent even mine owne â—icked and corrupted heart which hath so â—ong stood out against my God and I will never leave compassing it with my teares and my sighes and my pensive and sorrowfull thoughts untill the wall fall downe untill the stonie rampard thereof yeeld unto the commandements of my Lord and my maker But on the contrarie certainly that morning starre
is it that Sun whose bright rayes and powerfull influences doe cherish my body which I long for Noe 't is the heaven of heavens which I desire Mal. 4.2 't is the Sun of righteousnesse which I long to behould This Sun which is so greate in comparison with the earth is not to be named in comparison with him This poore litle blushing Sun though now it pride 's it selfe in its tryumphant rayes shall at his appearing yea before his appearing even as a harbinger to prepare for his comming be mantled in mourning Act. 2.20 it shall be turned into darknesse and the Moone into blood before that greate and notable day of the Lord come And yet 'till then God hath appointed this greate Light greate to us the Sun to rule the day Ps 136.8.9 as well as the Moone and the Starres to governe the night for his mercy endureth for ever Even in this I see his mercy that by the light thereof the eyes of my body have the use of their faculties and can present their objects to my better part which may in her conternplations admire allways the mercies of God If any man walke in the day saith my Saviour hee stumbleth not Io. 11.9 because hee seeth the light of this world vers 10 But if a man waike in the night hee stumbleth because there is noe light in him Yet now I thinke of it there are some assuredly who walke in the day and yet they stumble yea they contrive a way how they may learne to stumble therfore that wine which should comfort the heart is purposely receaved to disturbe the braine Thus the superiour guide is mistied in a fogge lest it should direct the feete in the cariage of the body Is 5.11 Such are they against whom the Prophet pronounceth that Woe saying Woe unto them that rise up early in the morning that they may follow strong drinke that continue untill night 'till wine inflame them This is contrarie to the custome of those in Saint Paul's time for hee saith 1. Thes 5.7 They that sleepe sleepe in the night and they that are drunken are drunken in the night But it is not so now for wickednesse in our times hath assumed more impudencie that vice which formerly was deemed so shameful that the very wine it selfe enforced the sinner to some modestie in a blush even now by continuance is accounted but societie and to palliate the crime the collour of the offendour borroweth an excuse from the custome of inflammation Thus is nature constrained to pleade for wickednesse the corruption of the liver through immoderate drinking which discovereth it selfe in the staines of the countenance is noe longer abhorred as an effect of vice but rather 't is pittied as an infirmitie of the person The gray-eyed morning looke's upon my body and teacheth mee to view my hidden selfe my inner man This is a duety prescribed by religion and 't is a law of justice that before I walke abroade to behould my neighbours I first doe prye into the dresse of my selfe The All-mighty quesstion's Ephraim and Iudah by the mouth of his prophet saying Hos 6.4 O Ephraim what shall I doe unto thee O Iudah what shall I doe unto thee For your goodnesse is as a morning clowde and as the early deaw it goeth away This clowde and this deaw doe aptly resemble the goodnesse of hypocrities The clowde passeth the deaw drye's up Oh thus doe my promises and vowes unto God Thus doe my better actions where in I glorie Suddainly presently doe they vanish and disperse If I looke upon the skie I view the mirrour of my present thoughts for though for a time I meditate on God yet an empty clowde which rideth post and fleeth a way upon the wings of the wind Ps 18.10 is not so speedie as are these pensive and divine contemplations If I blush when I see the short continuance of these heavenly thoughts discovered in the speedie journie of a clowde with a dejected countenance let mee looke upon the ground Oh here againe I find the reflection of my short devotions These private cogitations which tend to religion are but like to the pearlie deaw that hang's on the grasse prompt and ready to drie and vanish Those very tufts of grasse those leaves of the trees seeme to lament the short continuance of my religious exercises as if they had spent the silent night in anguish and sorrow for feare lest my doome should be to a place below their abode The flowers have wept all night in their beds and the chillowed herbs have drooped in the darke and all of them together besiech mee with teares that my goodnesse may not resemble the jewells they weare Those pearles shall dissolve those teares shall be dryed at the appearance of the Sun even so soone as hee shall visit them with the warmth of his beames Thus thus though I mourne in secret for my sinnes yet so soone as I am warmed with the vaine delights of the enticing world I am apt presently to forget the bitternesse of my sorrowes and to sinne afresh lest I should not have cause to lament againe Lord I wish yet that I had but such and so many teares for my sinsull felfe as the tresses of the earth doe seeme to mourne out for mee Such ô such or none I desire to have None other will comply with my wishes They must be exhaled from the earth even the earth of my heart by the Sun of righteousnesse Thus they must rise that thus they may fall And when they are thus risen and when they are thus fallen then shall they be dryed by the comfortable rayes of that Sun of righteousnesse shining in my â—eart My sighes and my groanes which â— dispatch for my sinues shall ascend like â—apours up to my braine and by the secret inâ—uences of him that enlightens mee they shall have time alotted them to unite togeâ—her and then shall they fall in a deaw on nine eyes Now is the time that I thus should â—eepe now is the time I should thus lament for my sinnes must be purged with my morâ—ing teares My yester-day's follies my lastâ—ight's fantâ—sies this morning's thoughts which saluted my earthly vanities before I â—owed to my God even all advise mee to hye â—…y selfe and retire speedily into my private closet there to wash and rub and clense my soule in the cesterne of my teares and never leave rinsing 'till the staines are fetcht out But is this the taske of a morning shall I not be utterly unapt for the workes of my vocation when I have swelled mine eyes with the brinie drops O noe the aire is cleerest brightest when stormes are blowne over and content of mind and quiet thoughts will follow upon my mourning Besides there 's nothing in the world that dryeth sooner then teares for many times they are slunke in a moment into the dimple of a smile Nay
dutyes which thou commandest that so my light may rise in obscuritie and my darknesse be as the noone day Heare mee ô Lord and graunt these my peritions and whatsoever else shall be necessarie for mee and that for the worthinesse of him who is the morning starte even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour in whose name and words I father call upon thee saying Mat. 6.9.10.11.12.13 Our father which art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdome come thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven give us this day our dayly bread and forgive us our trespasses as wee forgive them that trespasse against us and leade us not into temptation but deliver us from evill for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen part 3 The third part Of the Soliloquie Fitted for one preparing to goe to dinner VVHen Daniel the Prophet was made chiefe of the Presidents and Princes of the Kingdome of Darius the rest burning with furie at this his preferment sought say's the text an occasion against him Dan 6.4 but none they could find for hee was faithfull neither was there any errour or fault found in him Prov 3.15 At length to magnifie the King above him by whom alone Kings reigne for the effecting of their purposes they quarrelled with his religion and conceaved that their uniust designes of debasing the President were noe wayes to be wrought but by dishonouring his God But when those envious parasites pretended highly to magnifie the scepter they did indeede but labour the satisfaction of their envie Dan 6. vers 9. vers 7. Howsoëver at length it was concluded and the decree was signed in writing that Whosoever should aske a petition of any God or man for thirtie dayes save onely of Darius hee was to be cast into the denne of Lyons vers 10 Daniel knew that the decree was signed yet hee went into his house and his windowes being open in his chamber towards Ierusalem hee kneeled upon his knees three times a day and praised and gave thankes before his God as hee did afore time Here was a worthy resolution and as religious a performance Neither the envie of his adversaries nor the displeasure of his Soveraigne nor the greedinesse of the Lyons could stoppe his proceedings or hinder his devotions Deut 5 29. Oh that there were such a heart in mee too that I would feare the Lord and keepe his commandements allways that it might be well with mee for ever But alasse to my shame and griefe I see that I can scarce once in a day find in my heart to praise my God and if twice or thrice I attempt to fitt and compose my selfe to my holy devotions I presently repell those righteous motions as if it were un-necessarie whatsoëver is ircksome But why should I not consider how slack I am in my petitions even by the aboundance of things which I truely want Why should I not pray by precept or at least by precedent It was David's resolution Ps 55.17 Evening and morning and at noone-day will I pray and cry aloud hee shall heare my voyce And his practise exceedes his promise for his owne words are Seaven times a day doe I praise thee Ps 11â— 164. because of â—y righteous judgments Yea hee goe's a litle â—rther yet and crye's out vers 97 O how I love thy â—we It is my meditation all the day Hee â—uld not choose but meditate on his law all â—e day long Ps 25.5 on whom hee did wayte all the â—…y long Thus hee meditated hee meditated 〈◊〉 day a whole day and yet not one whole â—ay onely for hee passeth his promise to the All-mighty saying Ps 145 2. Every day will I blesse â—hee and I will praise thy name for ever and â—ver Thus should I doe as David did I â—hould blesse the Lord and I should praise â—he Lord yea I will blesse him and I will â—raise him for all his mercies and particularly for preserving mee to the midle of this day But is this time so fitting convenient that now especially I should setle to my meditations Yes doubtlesse at this very instant I have more arguments to perswade mee to devotion then at many other howers and seasons of the day Now my hungrie appetite putteth mee in mind of the ravens which hee feedeth when thy call upon him Ps 147.9 Now I discover a most ample testimonie of his protection and providence Ps 107.9 for now hee satisfieth the emptie soule and filleth the hungry soule with goodnesse Longer mee think's I cannot stay from my meate for my empty bellie call's for a repast Lord how fraile are wee mortalls that wee cannot live one day without the satisfaction of our stomacks Mat 6.11 Phil 4.19 which made our Saviour teach us to pray Give us this day our dayly bread Well God is so good as to supply all our wants but how doe's hee supply them Alasse the poore inferiour creatures are faint to pay the tribute of their lives for the satisfaction of our hunger Our plentiful tables doe commonly speake blood in every dish The beastes and the fowles and the fishes doe seeme to contend for precedencie in their service to our wanton appetites And yet if I consider of it what offence that the Lamb or the Sheepe or the Calfe or the Oxe or the Dove or the Salmon committed that they loose their lives for the preservation of ours Those doe obey the commands of their Creatour even unto death and by their ready submission to man's desires observe the law which was first prescribed them But why doe they so seeing man by his fall did loose the prerogative of soveraigntie over the creatures Hee did so indeede yet those creatures not willing to insult over their sinfull Lord especially seeing the charter was renewed afterwards to Noah Gen 9.2.3 continue their submission to his will and command In all this how can I choose but magnifie my God desire him to blesse the creatures unto mee for the sustenance of my body that I may onely live to honour him who is the giver of all Now againe above other times should I thinke on my â—od and desire him in mercy to be graâ—ous unto mee for at this time of the day â—ee would not visit our first and sinfull paâ—…nts It is now about the midle and heate of â—e day The Sun is hastening to the highest â—oint in the Meridian with beames direct â—eepe's through the crevices into our private â—…osets Gen 3.8 but it was in the coole of the day when Adam and Eve did heare the voyce of the Lord God walking in the garden and presently did â—ide themselves from the presence of him amongst â—he trees of the garden O though 't was in the â—oole of the day when God was heard yet was â—t in the heate of his anger for the sinne of the â—ransgressours
poore for thy sake allways considering that the vanities of earth are not worthy to be compared to the glory that shall be revealed 1. Pet. 5 1. Heb. 4.13 1. Tim. 2.9 vers 10 O thou to whose eyes even all things are naked and open graunt that I may adorne my selfe in modest apparell with shamefastnesse and sâ—brietie not so much with gold or pearles or costly aray as with good workes becomeing a professour of godlinesse Make mee labour for the ornaments of the hidden man in the heart in that which is not corruptible 1. Pet. 3 4. Luc. 12 21. 2. Cor. 9.11 1. Tim. 6.18 Iam. 2.5 Reu 3.18 even the ornament of a meeke quiet spirit which is in thy sight of greatest price Make mee ô heavenly father rich in thy selfe rich unto liberalitie rich in good workes in faith Make mee buy of thee gold tryed in the fire that I may berich and white raiment that I may be cloathed and that the shame of my nakednesse doe not appeare Let mee allways remember that greate accompt which one day I must render to thee the Lord of heaven and earth that so I may serve thee here with my substance in my body and my soule with zeale and devotion and hereafter be receaved to thine ever-lasting glory through the merits of thy sonne in thy bosome Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 7 THE SEAVENTH SUBjECT Teares in want or in the time of adversitie In foure severall Soliloquies treating of 1 A decayed est ate or plentie turned into povertie 2 Hunger both corporall and spirituall 3 Thirst both bodily and ghostly 4 Nakednesse both of the out-ward and the in-ward man The first Soliloquie Treating of a decayed estate or Plenty turned into povertie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray VVHen Mary had powred her precious oyntment on the head of my Redeemer Mat 26 7. his disciples were filled with indignation vers 8. vers 9. said To what purpose is this wast For this oyntment might have beene sould for much and given to the poore vers 10 But when Iesus understood it hee said why trouble yee the woman For shee hath wrought a good worke upon mee vers 11 For yee have the poore allways with you but mee yee have not allways O mee think's the words of my Saviour doe more afflict mee then the povertie which I suffer I thought hee had beene allways conversant with the poore because hee so often commandeth their reliefe But now hee seemeth to leave us in our miserie when hee determineth that wee shall continue upon earth but himselfe resolveth to leave the earth But did hee not promise in Saint Mathew say Mat. 28 20. Loe I am with you allway even unto the end of the world How can his promise be fullfilled if wee have him not allway Will hee be at the same time both present with us and absent from us Or doeth hee disdaine our poverty and for that very reason deny us his presence Cease cease ô my soule these doubts questions which savour too much of ignorance Rom. 3 4. or infidelitie Let God be true and every man a lyer What hee spake to his disciples before his suffering hee spake of his flesh but what hee said when hee was risen hee affirmed of his Spirit True it is ô my Iesus that thy bodily presence I expect not upon earth Ps 144 5. nor may I desire thee to how the heavens and come downe from thy glory â—t is thy Spirit ô Christ which I humbly sue â—or even that Comforter who may strengthen â—…ee in the depth of my calamities Never â—ad I more neede of comfort from God then â—ow when the goods of the world forsake mee Now doe I find that I am hated Prov. 14.20 c 18.23 c 19.4 even of mine owne neighbours but the rich hath many friends I am enforced to use intreaties c 18.23 but the rich answereth mee roughly c 19.4 Wealth did make many friends but now I am poore I am seperated from my neighbours vers 7. All my brethren doe hate mee and much more doe my friends goe farre from mee I pursue them with words yet they are wanting unto mee Vaine world where are thy promises Deceitfull riches where is your friendship I who so lately was dandled in the lappe of pleasure and plenty am now exposed to paines and penury So litle did I dreame of this tempestuous storme that with David I said in my prosperitie Psa 30.6 I shall never be removed thou Lord of thy goodnesse hadst made my hill so strong But where are now those ensignes of pride my Rings and my Iewells Where are those factours of lasciviousnesse my favours and my fashions Where are those robbers of time my sports my games Where are those moths wormes of plenty my flattering society and my discursive companions Where are those pamperers of the body my severall dishes and daintie cookeries Where be those golden pictures that often yeelded mee leggs and the courtsies Alasse all 's gone all 's flowen The Sun is hidden and muffled in a clowde and by that meanes those atomes those motes are obscured Now must I expect noe more honour or respect My fingers and my wrists and my neck must forget that ever they were adorned with the treasure of the seas and the riches of the earth My back must forget that ever it was dressed in the fashion of strangers Mine eares must forget that ever they were delighted with the musick of discourses My palet must forget that ever it was coy and nice in the choyce of various meates My mind must forget that ever I was honoured with the respect of inferiours And my purse must forget that ever it was acquainted with the idoll of the world O what wonder and misery happen's in this change All things are altered as if I had slept out my time and onely dreamed of the pleÌ„tie which formerly I enjoyed Mee think's I am but just newly borne Nay I am worse for now I have neither nurse to suckle mee nor mother to dandle mee Yet am I still as if I were borne but a day or two since allthough I am growne to bignesse beyond the time for I am as ignorant of a way to live in the world as the sucking infant that 's nourished at the breast And now what shall I doe Nor acquaintance nor friends nor kindred nor any will remember that ever they knew mee or if they doe they will be moreready to taunt mee then afford mee reliefe Was ever miserie like unto mine Was ever distressed soule so destitute so forlorne as I am Whither shall I goe To whom shall I complaine Either my tougue hath forgotten to speake or my friends to heare
Christianitie seemes to be but the labour of the voyce for if men did believe what the Scriptures teach they surely would practise something of Charitie Thus I sitt and sigh and grieve and expostulate and complaine but yet I forget what I ought to consider of I am apt to repine at this poverty which I suffer but I am un-apt to enquire into the cause thereof Solomon tell 's mee that Prov. 19.15 Slothfullnesse casteth into a deepe sleepe an idle soule shall suffer hunger That hunger I feele but doe I acknowledg that idlenesse Doe I confesse that slothfullnesse If I should examine my hands what worke they have done would not their smoothnesse and whitenesse accuse them of idlenesse If I should aske mine eyes how vigilant they have beene in a lawfull imployment would they not drowzily and bashfully slinke behind the curtaines Let mee then remember how Solomon telleth mee c. 23.21 that drowsinesse shall cloath one with raggs And yet mee think's this is not all There must be some-thing else that bring 's this affliction Let mee but consider a litle and reason with my selfe It may be I may find out some-thing more by a diligent search I live upon the earth I live in the world Earth I had the best of earth in the esteeme of earth I had gold and silver so much esteemed and honoured by man In the world I am yet now my coyne is gone I am here but a stranger I did know many but in the change of my fortune I am known of none If I call to the earth which so much I have loved it will not un-bowell it selfe to offer mee it's intraills I cannot tell how neither to prick a veine of it to enrich my selfe as the delvers doe though shee tremble at the violence If I sue to the world I am there neglected Ps 31.12 I am forgotten like a dead man out of mind or like a broken vessell Whence ariseth this un-kindnesse of the earth Whence proceede's this forgetfullnesse of the world Certainly the earth of it selfe had not malice enough to sieke my ruine Surely the world of it selfe had not cruelty enough to contrive my un-doeing Noe noe there 's some-thing yet which I have not discovered that question-lesse hath brought this poverty upon mee I sigh my sighes goe up-ward mee think's toward heaven I looke with a steady and stedfast eye but 't is up-ward I looke 't is chiefely upon heaven I mourne and I cry and my word is chiefely O Lord O God Who is this I name so often in my laments Who is this I mention so often in my cryes Is it not the Lord Is it not God To heaven goe my sighes upon heaven looke mine eyes on the God of heaven doe I call and yet though hee 's in my sighes in mine eyes and in my tongue I have all this while forgotten to entertaine him in my heart Surely if hee had hitherto dwell't in my soule I should either have enjoyed more of the earth or lesse of my love to it That which I have left so un-willingly I have loved too much and in that love I have sinned too much and by that sinne I have moved him to anger who hath sent mee this poverty Yes yes 't is hee 't is hee that maketh poore and maketh rich 1. Sam. 2.7 that bringeth low and lifteth up All this while I have lived in such ignorance that either I knew him not or at least I honoured him not I lived as if there were noe other God but onely mammon noe happinesse but on earth noe treasures but gold and noe content but in plenty If I ever remembred him it was to his dishonour if ever I spake of him it was in prophanenesse I never doubted of his love therfore never prayed for his blessing or if I did pray it was coldly it was faintly and rather to satisfie the world then to discharge my duety or in an awfull manner to have recourse to his Majesty I measured his favours by my out-ward possessions and deemed them blessings which hee sent in wrath but I hope it will prove that hee hath taken them in mercy Graunt blessed God that now I may know thee in this my miserie who formerly forgot thee in the height of my plenty and that knowing thee I may love thee and that loving thee I may depend on thee that depending on thee I may serve and honour thee all the dayes of my life O now mee think's I am another woman I beginne to feele some warmth at my heart I find that my God doeth speake to my conscience Lord send mee repentance that I may be sorrie for my sinnes send mee thy grace that I may have share in thy promises send mee a lively faith that I may relye upon the merits of my blessed Redeemer and howsoever thou disposest of this body of flesh preserve my soule for thy celestiall kingdome O what a suddaine alteration doe I find in my selfe My teares that savoured of murmuring and despaire shall flow aboundantly for the sinnes I committed World leawd world thou art a jugler and an impostour Earth base earth thou art a cozener and a deluder I silly woman did place my happinesse in your transitorie courtesies and thought it the chiefe honour to become your minion But now I see that you fayle your servants and mocke your lovers There 's noe constancy but in God There 's noe comfort or happinesse but in Christ The more I sieke him the more I love him and the more I love him the more I am beloved of him Hee will not deceave mee hee will not leave mee nor forsake mee Lord let me be thine though hungry though thirstie though naked I come unto thee I am sure that if I serve him I shall be provided for by him Hee can doe it for hee hath enough Col. 1.16 Hee created all things and his they are by whom they were created O let him give mee a litle with content rather then so much as I had with forgetfullnesse of him I care not how litle I possesse so I may enjoy my Lord. The birds doe never thinke of a morrow and yet their hunger is satisfied every moment The herbes the flowers are infensible of their verdure and yet they infinitely out-vye King Solomon in his glory Mat. 6.29 The rivers that steale from the billowed ocean and sport awhile in the massie earth are at length directed to the sea againe The stone that is digged from the quarries in the earth to serve for necessity and ornament of our structures findeth rest at last in a silent heape where making a way by it's heavy weight it steale's back by degrees into the wombe of the earth In each of these I discover a providence for hee who first created doeth still preserve O let him be mine and then I shall be his O let mee be his then hee shall be mine If I be his
child by grace and adoption I am sure that hee will be my father by providence and protection Hee it is who sayd that hee would leave in the midst of Ierusalem Zeph 3.12 an afflicted and poore people but with all bee promised that they should trust in the name of the Lord. Hee that correcteth mee for mine offences intendeth my conversion the fault is in my selfe if it turne to my ruine Hee taketh away earth that hee may give mee heaven for both hee seeth I cannot graspe at once Thus hee at once both punisheth mee for mine offences and provideth for my happinesse Yet though hee punisheth hee doeth it not hastily nor yet un-expectedly if I justly consider it First hee threatneth before hee scourgeth and warneth mee to obey before hee chastiseth Thus by his Prophet Is 20.3 hee saith Like as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked and bare foote three yeares for a signe and wonder upon Egypt and upon Ethiopia vers 4. So shall the King of Assyria leade away the Egyptians prisoners and the Ethiopians captives young and ould naked and barefoote even with their shame un-covered to the shame of Egypt Mee hee threatned too before hee thus visited mee but mine eares were deafe I stopped them and refused to hearken to the voyce of the Lord. Every sicknesse of mine owne or my friends every losse of mine owne or my neighbours was a menace â—…om the All-mighty Often did I see his â—…gments upon others but I minded them â—…t as if it nothing concerned mee what fell â—ot on my selfe Children of Princes doe â—eldome feele the smart of a rodde but are â—errified by the stripes which others receave Thus the Lord dealt with mee when hee scourged others but I pittied not them nor yet my selfe just it is therfore that none should now commiserate my case in the depth of my distresse Yet when I consider that this my poverty come's from God mee think's it is a testimomie as much of his love as of his severitie I know assuredly that his servant Iob did suffer more then my calamitie amount's unto yet hee repined not at his losses but glorified his maker Iob. 1.21 The Lord gave say's hee and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the name of the Lord. Thus if I magnifie him who sendeth this correction I shall not sinne in my sufferance vers 22 nor charge him foolishly Mar. 10 25. Hee who sayd It is easier for a Camel to goe thorow the eye of a needle then for a rich man to enter into the Kingdome of God even the same Lord said to the young man in the Gospel If thou wilt be perfect Mat 19 21. goe and sell that thou hast and give to the poore and thou shalt have treasure in heaven and come and follow mee Had I thought of heaven in my seeming prosperitie I should not so much have beene tormented with this present losse But I who before neglected the poore am ranked now in the number of them I who expected my heaven upon earth have here my hell that I may have heaven hereafter Why then should I murmur at this blessing from God and deeme this a losse which is sent for my advantage Surely if I doe but endeavour to vallew the joyes of eternitie I shall rejoyce at my deliverance from the possessions of the world Such hast did Zacheus make from the tree when my Saviour did promise to become his guest and with such contempt of the world did hee entertaine my Redeemer Lu 19.8 that hee said unto him Behould Lord the halfe of my goods I give to the poore and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation I restore him fowre fould That Sycomore tree which never before or since had fruite bare then a publicane ripened for Christianitie Unwilling should I have beene to have performed either of the promises of Zacheus when I enjoyed those vanities which I termed goods for I ever was as slow to the acts of charitie as to those of justice But what I kept from others is now taken from mee and what I was un-willing to restore is returned to the owner Shall I therfore reine at him because hee required his owne Shall I murmur at him for that fault which is mine Hee found mee false and would trust mee noe longer Must this his know ledg redound to his dishonour Shall I blame him for his discoverie of my false-hood and negligence and not rather ingeniously confesse the guilt of my wickednesse 'T is I 't is I that am unjust 't is hee 't is hee that is righteous and yet though I am unjust and hee is righteous my sinnes are punished to my greater advantage I am now in this povertie made liker unto him for to the Scribe hee said The foxes have holes Mat 8.20 and the birds of the aire have nests but the sonne of man hath not where on to lay his head House hee had none yea and friend hee had none for even those did crucifie him whom hee came to redeeme One of his disciples became a traitour and when hee came to his owne Io 1.11 his owne receaved him not When hee was hungrie instead of figges hee found nothing but leaves Mat 21 19. and at another time hee contented him selfe with a piece of a broyled fish Luc 24 42. and an hony-kombe When hee was thirstie hee was offered vineger to drinke Io 19.29 Mat 27 28.31 and never was it knowne that his garment was changed save when the Iewes put on him the skarlet roabe and when they had mocked him they tooke't from him againe The disciple is not above his master c 10.24 nor the servant above his Lord. If hee be my master I shall be contented with my povertie if hee be my Lord I shall rejoyce in my losses Povertie is the liverie which his servants weare but this povertie is seated more in spirit then in purse for those hee pronounced truely blessed and to them hee promised the kingdome of heaven Mat 5.3 The poore that are wicked hee double hate's both because they neglect their common dueties and for contemning that poverty which hee send 's for a blessing Those who have least of temporall goods should most be busied about things eternall The rich have some plea for neglecting his service because they are busied in managing their estates but the poore have noe pretence for failing in their dueties to whom God hath afforded nothing for their hinderance Is 66.2 To this man will I looke saith God hin selfe even to him that is poore Yet hee stayeth not here but farther describeth what poore hee intendeth and saith Even him that is of a contrite spirit and trembleth at my word Prov 19.1 It is onely the poore man walking in his integritie who is better then hee that is perverse in his lipps The prophet doeth promise that The meeke shall increase their joy
in the Lord Is 29.19 and the poore among men shall rejoyce in the holy one of Israel But this promise belongeth onely to the godly If my God will but vouchsafe to sanctifie my povertie I shall be richer then those who have the world at command Iam 2.5 for hee hath chosen the poore of this world rich in faith and heires of the Kingdome which hee hath promised to them that love him If I can be sure of heaven I shall never care for the treasures of the earth Make mee thy child ô God by grace then I shall willingly passe through povertie to unspeakeable glory The world may scorne mee but it shall not ruine mee Povertie is contemptible but it may end in riches True it is that now I am fallen into this decay I must expect the frownes and scorne of the people But what of that Earthly honour is but the fondnesse of opinion and the credit of the world is as falsely grounded as suddainly lost The sporting winds that tosse the ships upon the swelling ocean doe often convert their passe-time into furie and sinke at once both the ship and the adventurer The idolatrous Mammonist that worship 's his coyne is sometimes bereft of his speechlesse idoll by the fellonious robber Stormes or waters or time and age can cause our proudest structures to fal upon their knees and when that is gone which purchased our credit our contempt is as greate as once was our honour The world doe's reverence none but those who are accounted rich It is just in our times as it was in the dayes when the Apostle lived Iam 2.2 If there come into an assembly a man with a gold ring in goodly apparell and there come in allso a poore man in vile raiment vers 3. They have respect to him that weareth the gay cloathing and say unto him Sit thou here in a good place And say to the other Stand thou here or sit under his footestoole But for this Saint Iames say's They are partiall in them selves and are become judges of evill thoughts vers 4. If I derive my honour from the God of honour I shall never vallew how low the world esteeme's mee The Elme and the Ash are as apt for service as the Cedar and the Cypresse The coursest cloath afford's more warmth then the taffaties and sattaines Those bodies that glitter in gold tissue shall appeare as naked at the greate tribunall as the poorest beggar The humble and meeke have more content in the meanest cottage then the prowde and ambitious in the towring edifices The coursest bread with the blessing of God can nourish the body as well as the whitest and purest manchet Suppose I should be driven to begge my foode would not that which I sued for as well satisfie my hunger as if it had beene bought and procured by my coyne If yet I should aske and be denyed when the violence of hunger command's mee to petition howsoever I have thus much to quiet my mind that the more I pine the more neere I draw to the place of delight for when I am out of the world I shall inherit a kingdome What difference is there betweene guift and price It alters not the thing but onely varie's the manner of our getting the thing If I beg for necessaries they are as apt for use as those that I can buy Againe I begge but of those to whom they are lent If I speede in my suite my thanks must be first directed to God by whose bountie I receave and next unto man for fullfilling his duety If I am denyed what I aske I must know that the hand of providence is in that denyall for though the devill may worke in him that refuseth yet God doeth speake to mee in the repulse Hunger and thirst and cold and nakednesse all are but tryalls of my patience and hasteners of my deliverance If creditours should deprive mee of my beloved liberty I should but be eased from wandering abroad in the wearisome world The iron gates have not strength and power to shutt out my God Hee spake to Ieremiah Ier 39.15 Act 5.19 Prov 22.27 and comforted the Apostles when they were locked up in the prisons If those people to whom I am indebted should be so mercilesse as to take away the very bed from under mee when I have nothing to pay peradventure I might sleepe as well upon the earth that beares mee as those that lye on their beds of downe The Patriarch Iacob had but the ground for his couch Gen 28 11. and the stones for his pillow when in his sweetest sleepe hee was promised by God the land where hee lay vers 13 Yet peradventure I may be eased of this miserie too if I addresse my complaint to the defender of the poore 2. King 4.1 When the widdow of the prophet cryed to Elisha and sayd Thy servant my husband is dead and thou knowest that thy servant did feare the Lord and the creditour is come to take my two sonnes unto him to be bondmen vers 6. vers 7. even then Elisha multiplyed her oyle and with that shee satisfied her hungrie creditour Poverty hath beene frequently the object of pittie yea and sometimes allso the ground of plenty When Ierusalem was taken by Nebuchad-nezzar King of Babylon Ier 39.10 Nebuzaradan the Captaine of the guard left the poore of the people which had nothing in the land of Iudak and to them hee gave both vine-yards and fields God hath ever beene a protectour of the poore that were faithfull and relieved their indigencie Rom. 15.26 when they trusted in him It pleased them of Macedonia and Achaia sayth Saint Paul to make a certaine contribution for the poore saints at Ierusalem Hee tooke away my riches that I might depend upon him and that finding the uncertainty of earth I might rely upon heaven Mat 6.25 Hee command's mee to take noe thought for my life what I shall eate or what I shall drinke nor yet for my body what I shall put on vers 30 The life is more them meate and the body then raiment Surely if hee cloathe's the grasse of the field which to day is and to morrow is cast into the oven much more am I certaine that hee will cloath his servants From him proceedeth every good guift Iam 1.17 Hee will either send mee what I desire or else hee will cause mee not to desire what hee resolve's not to send mee Whatsoever hee giveth hee intendeth it for his honour If I may honour him by hunger or thirst or whatsoëver sufferance his is the glory mine shall be the reward Those are not rich whom the world so esteemeth Content is certainly the best riches and that is onely proper to the godly Reu 3.17 Laodicea said I am rich and increased with goods and have neede of nothing but alasse shee was miserable and wretched and poore and blind
Lu 15.14 vers 16 I am brought into want and faine would fill my belly even with the huskes that swine doe eate but noe man giveth them unto mee vers 17. Though I know that many hired servants have bread enough and to spare and yet I am ready to perish with hunger Though thus I know my miserie yet I skarce remember the cause But I will begg of my heavenly father vers 17 that I may come unto my selfe and then that my selfe may come unto him I know that hee is angry and his wrath is terrible but if I absent my selfe his displeasure will increase The longer I strive to keepe out of his sight the more will be his severitie and the more grievous my punishment vers 18 I will therfore arise and goe to my father and say unto him Father I have sinned against heaven vers 19 and before thee and am noe more worthy to be called thy child make mee as one of thy hired servants Iob 42.6 Ps 102.9 Ps 80.5 I will abhorre my selfe in dust and ashes As David did so will I I will eate ashes as it were bread and I will have plenteousnesse of teares to drinke I will mourne for my sinnes which have caused this judgment and with my teares in mine eyes compunction in my heart and humilitie in my soule I will fall on my knees before his footestoole and pray unto him and say The Prayer ALl-mighty and all-sufficient Lord God who by thy power diddest lay the foundations of the world and by thy providence doest guide protect the things therein conteined be pleased to looke upon the sorrowes and sufferances of thy distressed servant Thou knowest my wants before I aske and seest how low I am brought with hunger The inferiour creatures thou fillest with plenty but mee thou sufferest to pine with famine Shall not the cryes of the hungrie pierce thine eares Shall the soule of the emptie be despised by it's maker Heare Lord Ps 30.10 and have mercy ô be thou my helper Thou knowest how I groane under the burden of this affliction and wilt thou allways know it and never remove it where are thy mercies which thou shewedst to thine Israelites Where is they goodnesse which was manifested to he widdow of Sarepta Thou canst not decrease in thy mercies nor forget thy compassion The stomack crye's and the belly cryes and a poore languishing soule cryes unto thee ô Lord in the depth of distresse O my father shut not up thy mercifull eares to my prayers but heare mee in heaven and succour mee with thy reliefe Thy store will not be lessened nor thy treasure diminished by sparing to mee a morsell of bread Lord if it may stand with thy good will preserve mee from death and deliver mee from this famine or else arme mee with patience that I may under-goe thy chastisement with comfort and content O thou Saviour of the world to whom the cursed Iewes gave gall to eate Ps 69.21 and when thou wert thirstie even vineger to drinke doe thou ease my griefe and hearken to my complaint Thou in thy humanitie diddest seele the wants of these out-ward things and knowest what griefe and anguish I suffer To Samaria thou sentest plenty beyond expectation 2. King 7.18 in the space of a night Thou art neither confined to time nor tyed to the meanes thou canst send mee comfort even above my hopes Lord either send mee plenty or blesse my want that so I may willingly submitt to thy pleasure and patiently suffer what thou hast decreed Though my body languish for want of sustenance yet fill thou my soule with the riches of thy goodnesse Amos. 8.11 2. Chr. 15.3 O let mee never be cursed with a famine of thy word Let mee never be as once the Israëlites were without thee the true God without a teaching Priest and without law Howsoëver thou disposest of the outward man let not my soule want it's spirituall nourishment whereby it should be fed to a life immortall It was thy meate ô Christ Io 4.34 to doe the will of him that sent thee and to finish his worke Graunt ô Iesus that I may follow thy stepps and make it my foode and my delight to fullfill thy commandements Let mee not labour here for the meate that perisheth c. 6.27 so much as for that meate which endureth to everlasting life My body is thine dispose of it as thou pleasest My soule is thine preserve it in holinesse Lord be gratious to mee thy child Gen. 43 29. and comfort mee now in this greate extreamitie that so I may neither offend thee in my sufferance nor despaire of thy providence but that wholly relying upon thy gratious goodnesse I may suffer with thankfullnesse whatsoëver thou pleasest and then that my sufferances may end in happinesse Heare mee blessed God and help mee for the worthinesse of thy Sonne in whose name words I farther call upon thee saying Mat. 6.9.10.11.12.13 Our father which art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy Kingdome come thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven give us this day our dayly bread and forgive us our trespasses as wee forgive them that trespasse against us and leade us not into temptation but deliver us from evill for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen THE THIRD SOLILOQUIE Treating of thirst both bodily and ghostly THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe Prophet bewayling the distressed estate of afflicted Sion complainth thus Lam. 4.4 The tongue of the sucking child cleaveth to the roofe of his mouth for thirst the young children aske bread and noe man breaketh it unto them They that did feede delicately are desolate in the streetes vers 5. they that were brought up in scarlet embrace the dunghills Grievous was that miserie the infants endured who neither knew how to complaine nor where to be satisfied Their tongues which in time might relate the storie were scorched with the drought and heate of thrist Those litle members which as yet were not un ruely found a punishment as if they had offended The mothers lamenting the torments of the young ones offered them drinke from the fountaines of their eyes but so un-able was that offering to please the innocents that their thirst increased by that which should quench it Surely the miserie was greate which the babes could not utter since mine is so severe that I thinke it ineffable The more I complaine the more thirstie I am for the motion of the tongue increaseth the drought Iam. 3.6 The tongne that is un-ruely is set on fire of hell but mine is silent and yet it scorcheth That litle moisture which is left in my mouth is growne so glutenous
shall be greater if wee continue in our industrie This is my way and thus I will follow him Hee who sate upon the throne Reu 21 6. and said It is done I am Alpha and Omega the beginning and the end even the same Lord said I will give unto him that is a thirst of the fountaine of the water of life freely Hee inviteth mee by his Prophet and speaketh to mee among the rest when hee saith Is 55.1 Ho every one that thirsteth come yee to the waters and hee that hath noe money come and buy and eate yea come and buy wine and milke without money Reu 22 17. without price The Spirit and the Bride saith Saint Iohn say Come and let him that heareth say Come and let him that is a thirst Come and whosoever will let him take of the water of life freely I am thirstie hee hath promised therfore to mee the fountaines of the water of life I am thirstie and yet I am poore and have not wherewith to buy what I neede My deedes are wicked and of noe validitie my words are idle and deserve noe good my thoughts are sinfull cannot merit What then Shall I starve for want because I have not price to give Noe noe mee it is hee calleth unto that I may buy without money mee hee meaneth to make partaker of his promise I will buy what I want but I can give nothing but teares or at most which indeede is the best even the blood of him who was slaine for my peace But why doe I call that blood mine owne May I safely doe it Yes it was his but it is mine Because hee needed not that price as a ransome for himselfe hee gave it to mee and all the faithfull to purchase our redemption This ô father I offer unto thee upon my knees I tender it with a lowly heart and a bleeding soule and a submissive speech praying unto thee and saying The Prayer GRacious father Ps 123.1 Mat 5.45 thou that dwellest in the heavens and from heaven doest send the raine both on the just and the unjust take pitty and compassion on the meanest of thy servants who cryeth unto thee out of the depth of miserie O my God thou seest how I am dryed up with thirst and am wearie of my life for want of thy comforts I know that thou hast power to breake a clowd and canst command it to water my parched body Thou canst give mee drinke out of the windowes of heaven Gen 7.11 or canst cause the earth to answer my desires Ps 6 1. Lord rebuke mee not in thine anger neither chasten mee in thy heavy displeasure I must confesse that I have worthily deserved thy severest punishments and most justly therfore doe I feele the heate of thine anger in my burning thirst Ps 79.5 But Lord shall thy displeasure burne like fire for ever Shall it never be allayed with the shewers of my teares or with that which infinitely exceede's them both in vallew and power even the dropps of blood which fell from my Redeemer O thou who with a stroake of a rod diddest make the relenting rocks to relieve the thirstie doe thou be pleased to pittie the complaint of a fainting sinner Coole my body which burneth with heate and refresh mee now in this extreamest anguish if it may stand with thy gracious will and pleasure If thou seest it fitting that my life should be prolonged afford mee the meanes for the preservation thereof On thee alone doe I depend and to thee alone doe I addresse my supplication To thee I referre the disposing of this parched and dryed earth humbly besieching thee to bend my will to submit unto thine O let mee never utter any words of despaire or discontent but in all my groanes let mee acknowledg thy justice Holy Father be pleased to fixe my thoughts upon my inward man that my care may be greater for the spirit them the flesh I want that spirituall desire which thou requirest I thirst for that thirst My soule is drie for want of thy grace and so seered is my conscience that I know not my miseries Lord open mine eyes that I may see my wants that so my thirst may be turned into a thirst for thy mercy Thou ô God art rich but I am poore thou art filled with blessings but I am not yet so much as sensible of my want of them O give mee both a sight of my povertie and a desire of thy grace and then graunt unto thy servant according to my desires I thirst Lord I thirst after thee the well-spring yea the ocean of mercy O send mee but a drop of thy heavenly ocean that it may increase in mee a desire of enjoying thy selfe Ps 36.8 Give mee to drinke of thy pleasures as of a river that so I may referre my body to thy holy will willingly yeeld this dust to thy disposall Gen 3.19 This dust shall returne to the dust whence it came but ô let my soule be vallewed so deare in thy sight that it may here have a tast of thy bottomelesse bountie hereafter be admitted to the paradise of thee my God Reu 2.7 Heare mee ô father and graunt my requests Zech 13.1 for the worthinesse of him who opened unto mee a fountaine for sin even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen soliloquy 4 THE FOURTH SOLILOQUIE Treating of Nakednesse both of the out-ward and in-ward man THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Noah was over-come with the wine which hee had dranke sleeping hee lay un-covered in his tent Gen 9.21 vers 22 Accursed Ham saw the nakednesse of his father and tould his brethren but Shem and Iaphet tooke a garment vers 23 and laid it on both their shoulders and went back-ward and covered the nakednesse of their father and their faces were back-ward and they saw not their father's nakednesse All these were the sonnes of one and the selfe-same father but they differed in conditions as if they had not beene hrothers One was so unnaturall that hee seemed to boast in the folly of his parent and when wine had disturbed the braine of his father and the heate of the drinke had layed him naked the wicked sonne as rejoycing at his weakenesse tould his brethren the effect of the drunkennesse But the other two blushing at the effect as well as the cause modestly hid what ought to be concealed Such a Ham have I it is my poverty Onely in this it differeth from the sonne of Naoh that it first inebriateth mee and then uncovereth mee I am so intoxicated with want that it bereave's mee of my senses and being thus poore it leave 's mee naked O where shall I find a Shem or a Iaphet to cover my nakednesse I
deepe sleepe fell upon Adam in which of a rib that was taken from his side was made a woman the wife of his bosome Thus was mariage instituted at first in paradise and though after the woman was framed by the Creatour c 2.31 it is not directly sayd shee was very good yet seing it was verified of Adam it was true of Eve both of them yet remaining innocent O blessed was that time when the husband and wife were so truely one 2. King 19.22 that they were free from offending the holy one But they stood not long in this their integritie for they conspiring together in the first offence layed the foundation of discord and division From hence doe flow the disturbances of mariage c 3.24 and since Adam and Eve were driven out of Paradise neither is virginitie allways contented neither is wedlock free from disquietnesse Ps 78.58 vers 59 vers 63 When the Lord. was moved to jealousie by the idolatrous Israelites hee greately abhorred them in so much as hee caused the fire to consume their young men and their maidens were not given to mariage Well might the Psalmist say hee was wrath when the maidens were deprived of their â—uptiall honours Yet had the virgins knowne the cares of wedlock peradventure their curse might have beene deemed a blessing Wee who are taken from the wings of our parents fieke for our content in the bosomes of our husbands yet lest wee should idolatrously dote on them that are our heads even thence many times doe flow our disturbances whence wee expect our happinesse But why alasse doe arise those stormes of discontent Mariage should unite the hearts and affections Eph 5.31 and those who thereby are made one flesh should likewise be one in the bond of love Discords and divisions are the cankers of a mitie Ionah 4.7 and like unto the worme in the gourd of Ionas bring confusion where they are nourished Saint Iohn determine's that God is love 1 Io 4.8 wheresoëver therfore wee find not love wee may justly conclude there is not God Yet many times doe I heare the clamours of prople for many men and their wives are more subject to complaine then to conceale the frowardnesse of their violent passions But am not I one of those whose indisposition to obedience or want of discretion sieketh to violate the lawes of mariage All such divisions are both irreligious and sieke to destroy the very rules of nature By mariage two are united into one but by discords one is divided into two Where wedlock tyeth not two in one there is noe obedience to him who is three in one If therfore I enioy not that happie concord I must search into the cause which produceth such discord Assuredly that wedlock which at first was instituted by the All mighty and seconded by the blessing of increase and multiplying Genâ— 1.28 cannot be accompanied with schismes and contentions without a greate offence to him that ordained it Chrest my Reedemer did honour it with his presence and to shew how much hee delighted in this sacred union hee began his miracles at a wedding in Galilee Io 2.1 vers 7.8 But if mariage be so ancient as to fetch its beginning from man in innocency if it be so religious as to be honoured thus by my Lord and Saviour why then is it so peremptorily concluded by the Apostle that It is good for a man not to touch a woman 1 Cor 7.1 Are women so odious in the eyes of Saint Paul that hee should account it not good for a man to touch his helper his rib himselfe What should the Apostle meane in this position when as God himselfe determined Gen 2.18 and said It is not good that the man should be alone Can the scripture conteine a manifest contradiction or doeth St. Paul decree directly against God Noe noe let mee search more narrowly into those sacred texts and I shall find that my God doeth speake of that good which concerneth propagation without which the whole race of humanitie would soone be extinct but by his Apostle hee speaketh of a good which opposeth not honestie but which is joyned with profit hee decree's not that t is sinfull but onely inconvenient Moreover hee speakes not of all in generall but onely of those who are endued from above with the guift of continencie afterwards therfore hee thus concludeth 1 Cor 7.28 saying But if thou marry thou hast not sinned and if a virgin marry shee hath not sinned neverthelesse such shall have trouble in the flesh Thus may mariage indeede be troublesome but it is not dishonest it may be inconvenient but it is not unlawfull In it selfe considered it hath authoritie from God yet upon some considerations or private respects to some indeede it may prove unlawfull Whatsoëver is concluded without the free consent of both the parties is not regulated according unto law Neither feares nor menates nor delusions nor compulsions noe nor want of yeeres or judgment can be legally present at the tying of this knott The consent must be mutuall and proceede from a sound a free and un-corrupted judgment When the servant of Abraham treated of a mariage betweene Isaak and Rebeckah her brother and her mother concluded not hastily but said Wee will call the damsell and enquire at her mouth Gen 24.57 vers 58 And they called Rebeckah and said unto her Wilt thou goe with this man And shee said I will goe Thus must a mutuall and free consent without the disturbance of the reason by either excesse of wine or dâ—stracted thoughts or feares and terrours or cozening and delusive promises be present at the making of this holy contract The consent indeede must be free without compulsion but not without advice and direction The will of a child especially in this must submitt to the wisedome and the counsell of parents for seeing that children are reckoned among the goods and possessions of parents even reason decreeth that their Lords should dispose of them When Abraham dispatched his servant to sieke a wife for Isaak hee made him sweare by the Lord Gen. 24.3 the God of heaven and the God of earth that hee would not take a wife unto his sonne of the daughters of the Caaannites c. 28.1 When Isaak called Iacob and blessed him hee charged him and said unto him Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan Thus the law of the parents was a rule for the children and they durst not marie where they were forbidden In a letter which the Prophet sent unto the people whom Nebuchad-nezzar had caried captive to Babylon Ier. 29.6 hee not onely wrote unto them saying Take yee wives and begett sonnes and daughters but hee allso ordered them to take wives for their sonnes and to give their daughters to husbands Thus must children especially in the serious weighty affaire of mariage obey their parents in the Lord Eph.
now to be an adviser of youth Every one honoureth the hoarie haires but if there be as well a frost in the conscience as snow upon the head wherein doe I excell the very heapes of soyle which are cast out from our dwellings The dustie monuments of those our ancestours which in their declining columnes nodde towards the earth doe as gravely â—each the certaintie of our end as these skarres and wrinkles of age in my shrivelled skinne The lesse I enjoy of a radicall moisture the sooner shall I become the sport of the winds and be blowen about in mistie ashes My multiplyed dayes are but the increase of my sinnes unlesse I can make each line in my face a correctour of vice that people may imagine that they were placed there as much by my holy anger at offendours as by the continued account of my flying minuits Most powerfull was that exhortation of the valiant Ioshua when being old and striken in yeeres Ios 23.2 hee put the Israëlites in mind of the mercies of God Most prevalent was the rhetorick of the Doctour of the Gentiles when though as himselfe saith Philem. vers 8. vers 9. hee might be much bold in Christ to enjoyne Philemon that which was convenient yet for loves sake hee rather besought him being such a one as Paul the aged Were I such a one as was Ioshua or Paul my death might be lamented when I shall be caried to my grave When the greate confusion was to come upon Ierusalem for her many rebellions it was not to be the least of their punishments that God would take away from them the prudent and the ancient Is 3.2 c 9.13 Because the people turned not unto him that did smite them neither did they seeke the Lord of hosts vers 14 therfore saith the Prophet the Lord will out off from Israël head and tayle branch and roote in one day vers 15. The ancient and honourable hee is the head and the Prophet that teacheth lyes hee is the tayle Mine yeeres doe number mee among the ancient of our times but doe my vertues ranke mee with those that are truely honourable Those who have well deserved in the time of their lives are embalmed with teares at their sad and dolefull interments But shall I be lamented at my funerall obsequies Peradventure I may for some may remember that I have beene open-handed to the poore and indigent some that I have visited the sick and infirme But what of that These might appeare to others as acts of charitie and yet by some sinister intent which I might harbour in my bosome they may be charged to mine account for hainous offences by the all-seeing God That good which I performe to any of my neighbours ought to be done onely in obedience to my Lord. I must therfore be carefull that both my acts intents be truely good If I doe noe good even in the neglect of good I am guilty of evill If I serve not my God I robb the Saints upon earth Ps 16.3 and I eate and drinke those creatures of his which might relieve his thankfull and obedient servants Whatsoëver I have I doe not create it I onely receave it so I must necessarily acknowledg it not mine but Gods If I imploy not his guifts for the advantage of his glory I doe but borrow that which I intend not to restore so though my God neede 's not my thanks yet needes hee must punish mee for mine un-thankfullnesse What then shall I doe Have I lived thus long at the bounty of my God and am I now to beginne to be thankfull to my God Ould I am Gen 27.2 and as Isaak sayd to Esau I know not the day of my death I must therfore so provide for my death as if this moment were the period of my life The young may dye the ould must dye So teach mee ô Lord Ps 90.12 to number my dayes that I may apply my heart unto wisedome O that I were as good as I am aged Many that are younger in yeeres then my selfe are elder by farre in goodnesse and vertue But why have I beene so slothfull so negligent in the affaires of heaven Must age be honoured Why then doe I not strive to honour him who ever was even before the foundations of the earth were layed I must not be receaved into the quire of saints for the number of my yeeres nor can I come thither unlesse my soule be more innocent then the whitenesse of my head would seeme to resemble Mine age should truely be reckoned from my conversion Numbers of yeeres doe but draw mee neerer to my with-drawing chamber but numbers of vertues may bring mee neerer unto heaven By the multiplying of my minuits I have but for a time prevented the longing wormes I cannot satisfie for my sinnes though I should continue as long as the world shall endure Yet if I could it were folly in mee to expect much longer continuance upon earth I am travelling to the grave Eccl 12.1 Neere it I am The yeeres are now come wherein I must say I have noe pleasure in them Every age hath sinnes which attendeth it Though some have forsaken mee yet others are apt to succeede in their roomes hardly would they be so soone in my grave and be buried in my repentance The more low wee aged people doe stoope towards our mother through the decay of nature for the most part wee grow the more coveteous of that which is digged from the earth But why should wee who are ancient be so desirous of money This is not providence but ungrounded coveteousnesse A litle will serve us for that litle time wee can stay upon the earth But to prevent this sinne my bending to the earth shall put mee in mind of the dust whence I came and viewing the base originall of my flesh I will labour to serve the father of spirits Heb 12.9 Phil 3.8 Rev 21.21 All things will I account but losse and dung that I may winne my Iesus Hee sitteth inthroned in the new Ierusalem the very streetes whereof are the purest gold O my God shutt me out noe longer from those eternall riches I can not choose but offend thee while I remaine upon earth for his sake therfore who dyed on the cresse make hast to receave mee into that heavenly paradise O how sick mee thinks I grow of this wretched world My limbs would willingly yeeld to mortalitie and lye downe in the bed of a silent grave O that the time were come when I shall say to corruption Iob. 17.14 Thou art my father and to the wormes yee are my mother and my sisters Gen 25 17. When Ishmaël was an hundred thirtie and seaven yeeres old hee gave up the ghost and dyed and was gathered to his fathers Isaak gave up the ghost c 35.29 and dyed and was gathered to his people being old and full of dayes Abraham gave up the
greater them all these the feare of displeasing my gratious protectour bring mee back againe and keepe mee at home I would not be un-charitable but I must not be desperate Well then I am resolved what I will doe I will with Solomon goe to the houses of mourning the houses of the visited yet not in body but in mind and in purse I will pittie them and I will send reliefe unto them I dare not goe in person but I will goe in affection and for my neighbours groaning under the evill of punishment and for my selfe burdened with the evill of sinne I will feede upon my teares day and night I must grieve for my selfe in particular and yet I must not be so unkindly coveteous as to keepe my teares onely for my selfe In publike calamities those who shed noe teares may be justly suspected to have noe bowells I find my selfe not un-apt to weepe for I am prompted to that by the weakenesse of my disposition And yet I suspect my selfe I am jealous of my selfe that my teares doe rather flow from my feare of infection then from a fellow-feeling of the miseries which the infected suffer To heighten therfore my mourning and to justifie it by my compassion I will propose to my selfe the examples of others such as I find recorded in the word of my God example 1 When the destruction of the Iewes was neere at hand the Lord called upon them by the mouth of his Prophet saying Consider yee Ier 9.17 and call for the mourning women that they may come and send for cunning women that they may come And let them make hast vers 18 and take up a wayling for us that our eyes may runne downe with teares and our eye-lids gush out with waters vers 19 for a voyce of wayling is heard out of Zion How are wee spoyled c. The women were commanded to heare the word of the Lord vers 20 and their eares to receave the word of his mouth they were to teach their daughters wayling and every one her neighbour lamentation vers 21 For death was come up into their windowes and entered into their pallaces to cutt off the children from without and the young men from their streetes vers 22 Even the carkeises of men did fall as dung upon the field and as the handfull after the harvest-man and none did gather them The case is now with us as it was then with the Iewes Alasse how are wee spoyled too How is death come up into our windowes by the infectious aire How doe our children dye and our young men fall Our children which know not the cause and our young men that trusted in the strength of their youth O how doe the carkeises of men fall as dung upon the open field as the hand-full after the harvest man and yet there are none to gather them up They perish without because either there is not roome enough left with in doores for them or not people alive to attend them in their sicknesse or not people of strength enough to un-lock the doores or not meanes for their sustenance if they enter in Thus necessitie driveth them into the fields and there mortalitie seizeth upon them where noe person is found to burie their bodies noe bearers to carie them to the surfeited earth noe friends to bewayle the losse of their lives and noe Christians to cover them from their gazing spectatours the verie fowles of the aire and the beastes of the field What heart would not breake what eye would not weepe what soule would not lament for this sad visitation Lam 1.16 For these things with Ieremiah will I weepe mine eye mine eye shall runne downe with water because the comforter which should relieve our soules is farre from us example 2 The Lord hath throwne downe Ierusalem saith the Prophet and hath not pittied Lam 2.17 and hee hath caused their enemie to rejoyce over them hee hath sett up the horne of their adversarie vers 18 Their heart cryed unto the Lord O wall of the daughter of Zion let teares runne downe like a river day and night give thy selfe noe rest let not the apples of thine eyes cease Arise vers 19 cry out in the night in the beginning of the watches powre out thine heart like water before the face of the Lord lift up thy hands towards him for the life of thy young children that faint in the topp of every streate vers 1. Even thus hath the Lord covered us allso with a clowde in his anger as then hee did the daughter of Zion and cast downe from heaven unto the earth the beautie of our Israël and remembred not his foote stoole in the day of his anger An enemie destroyeth and rejoyceth over us but such an enemie it is as neither can heare nor will spare The verie aire which was created to coole the flames of our scorching hearts is so poisoned with the infection that the more wee make of it the lesse wee our selves are made by it the closer wee seate it even to and in our hearts the neerer doth the infection approach our spirits The corrupted aire shall be therfore cleansed by the thick groanes that shall flye from my heavy heart and be purified with the thunder of my lowdest cryes With Moab in the prophesie Is 15.2 vers 3. I will howle over Nebo and over Medeba In the streetes let every one gird himselfe with sack-cloth on all their heads let there be baldnesse on the toppes of our houses and in our streetes let every one howle â—er 48.4 weeping aboundantly for wee are destroyed for our litle ones have caused a cry to be heard Oh our sucklings that cry for milke from the breast suck in destruction when they expect their nourishment For these things with Ierusalem I will weepe sore in the night in this night of a generall affliction Lam 1.2 my teares shall be on my cheekes because among all our lovers there is none to comfort us example 3 At the finall desolation of the house of Israël Eze 7.16 the Prophet tould them that They that fled away of them should escape and should be on the mountaines like Doves of the valleys all of them mourning every one for his iniquitie All hands should be feeble vers 17 and all knees should be weake as water vers 18 They should allso gird themselves with sack-cloth and horrour should cover them and shame should be upon all their faces and baldnesse upon their heads Lord what a time of mourning should here be What a time of horrour Destruction is threatned and whom destruction missed mourning should over-take feeblenesse should follow weakenesse should pursue horrour should cover Oh that verie time is come now upon us that prophesie is fullfilled in our Israel Here is noe sword to slay us noe fierie engines of a hellish invention to murder us noe men to take us captives
the people of this land I will not arise from my heavinesse vers 5. Ioël 2.13 But I will rent my garment or rather my heart and not my garment and turne unto the Lord my God for hee is gracious and mercifull slow to anger and of great kindnesse and repenteth him of the evill I will fall upon my knees Ezr. 9.5 and spread out my hands unto the Lord my God example 4 Zion was threatned that her gates should lament and mourne and that she being desolate Is 3.26 should sit on the ground Here was the punishment a grievous punishment desolation by warre destruction by the sword vers 25 Her men should fall by the sword and her mighty men in the warre But what was the cause What stirred up the All-mighty to shewer downe his vengeance Alas it is too easily found The pride of the woman was the destruction of the men vers 16 It was because the daughters of Zion were haughty and walked with stretched-out necks and wanton eyes walking and mincing as they went and making a tinkling with their feete Wee are punished wee are afflicted not by the sword but which is more dreadfull by the Pestilence Our sufferances are not in the same manner indeede as were theirs and yet wee deserve both the manner and the measure Our sinnes are alike our punishments must therfore be expected alike alike in the greatnesse though they are not in the kind They seeme mee think's allready to agree in part for besides our sicknesses Mat 24 6. wee heare of warres and rumours of wars Yea they come yet neerer alike Is 3.17 for they were threatned that the Lord should smite them with a scab on the crowne of the head of the daughters of Zion and this very judgment appeareth among us in every blaine in every botch in every carbuncle Surely our sinnes are as greate or greater then theirs The pride of our sexe in their dresses in their laces in their jewells in their fashions in their gaites in their behaviours in their attendants in every thing is greater then Zion's The effects of pride their lascivious embracings their amorous â—urtings are commoner are frequenter then Zion's vers 18 Lord is it not just with thee then to take away from us as thou didest â—…om Zion the braverie of our tinkling â—naments and our tyres and our chaines vers 19 vers 21 vers 22 vers 23 and our bracelets and our rings and our changeable suits of apparell and our manâ—les and our glasses and our fine linnen and our hoods and our vailes Wee may most justly indeede expect a stinke vers 24 insteed of a sweete smell and instead of a girdle a â—ent and instead of well-set haire baldâ—esse and instead of a stomacher a girdle of sack-cloth and burning instead of beauty For us the land mourneth for our pride he people are humbled for our sinnes the Pestilence reigneth Lord make us all with Zion lament and mourne make us fit on the ground acknowledging thy justice and our sinfullnesse Eze. 31 15. God hath come downe to the grave among us as hee did at the destruction of Assyria for the pride thereof and caused Libanon to mourne for us and the trees of the field to faint for us therfore with Zion I will lament I will mourne I will sit on the ground example 5 A voyce was once heard from the high places of Israël Ier 3.21 weeping and supplications of the people because they had perverted their way they had forgotten the Lord their God Here was sorrow at the heart for the sinne of the soule and yet noe destruction of the body threatned for disobedience Had they continued in this their repentance they might have prevented the ensueing judgments but intermission of sorrow proved to be the ground of their sorrow Hence came theâ— land to be cursed with barrennesse and the Prophet to cry out c 12.4 How long shall the land mourne and the herbes of every field wither for the wickednesse of them that dwell thereinâ— Here wickednesse was the cause and barrennessâ— the effect But why should the herbes and flowers of the field suffer for the sinnes of the people Alas they grew up towards heaven in their gratefull acknowledgment that from thence they receaved their nourishment in the earth Yea so innocent they were that when they looked about them and saw as it were the wickednesse of them for whose service they were made every morning hung pearlie teares upon their drooping eyes and when they saw that men had not halfe so much remorse as they themselves they sadly shrunke to bed againe in the earth It was a curse to them to be enslaved in the service of cursed sinnes so poisonous is transgression so mischievous is iniquitie Thus the herbes were cursed for the sinnes of the Iewes but what had the Iewes done amisse which wee have not exceeded What wickednesse had they committed which wee have not surpassed Therfore our herbes and our flowers the beauty of our gardens and the pride of our knotts is nipped is withered with the poisonous breath that ariseth from our infected bodies and yet wee feare that what wee dispatched the aire to kill in our gardens will bring poison to us and slay us in our houses Thus wee suffer for thus have wee finned I will therfore resolve with the Prophet David Ps 119 136. that Rivers of waters shall runne downe mine eyes because wee have not kept the â—aw of our God example 6 Shall not the land tremble for this Amos. 8.8 and every â—…e mourne that dwelleth therein Saith the Prophet Amos. Tremble For what Israël knew well enough the poore were sensible enough vers 6. even the poore that were bought for silver and the needy that were sould for a paire of shooes Here was oppression in the streetes and crying in the gates vers 5. for the Ephah was made small and the Shekel greate and the ballances were falsified by deceit Noe marveile that the Psalmist concludeth Ps 62.9 Surely men of low degree are vanitie and men of high degree are a lye to be layed in the ballance they are alltogether lighter then vanitie It was thus among the Israelites and thus it is among us allso Men of low degree are vanitie vanitie in the account and contempt of superiours vanitie in the cruelty of superiours Men of high degree the richest traders the merchants of corne and the other fruits of the earth are a lye their measures are false theâ— weights are false yea they buy by one and they sell by another They devoure their brethren and yet they doe it by aâ— shew of Iustice for the ballances they haw corrupted and the weights they have pared insomuch as men erre most they are most deceaved when they thinke themselves most righted best dealt with This injustie commandeth us justly to mourne so the belly cryeth and the back cryeth The
thee untill hee have consumed thee from offe the land whither thou goest to possesse it Yea yet once againe The Lord said unto Moses Num 14.11 How long will this people provoke mee And how long will it be ere they beleive mee for all the signes that I have shewed among them vers 12 I will smite them with the pestilence and disinherit them and will make of thee a mightier nation then they O the fathomlesse treasure of the bountie of my God! Rom 2 4. O the riches of his goodnesse and patience and long suffering leading us to repentance What were the Israëlites that hee should not plague them Why not presently The wages is due so soone as the service is done and the punishment is as due so soone as the offence is committed and yet allthough God be forward in the former hee is slow to the latter allthough hee delight in the former yet is hee hardly drawne to the latter Mee think's when I consider the Israëlites I wonder at their rebellions and yet mee think's when I consider our selves I wonder much more Is 5.1 What could have beene done more to this vine-yard of God that hee hath not done unto us vers 2. Hee hath senced us and gathered out the stones from us and planted us with the choycest vine and built a tower in the midst of us and allso made a wine-presse in this his vineyard and yet for all this when hee looked that wee should bring forth grapes behould wild grapes Oh how my heart panteth within mee and my whole selfe is in a trembling feare when I consider his mercies and our rebellions Dan 5.5 O mee think's I see a hand-writing against us allmost upon every doore every inhabitant written as it were with the fingers of a man's hand as once Beâ—shazzar saw upon the plaister of the wall which maketh my countenance change vers 6. and my thoughts be troubled so that the joynts of my loynes be loosed and my knees smite one against another and I cry for mercy for I have offended and I knock for compassion for I have transgressed God did threaten Israel with a pestilence when they should be gathered together in their citties with a Pestilence that should consume them from off the land with a Pestilence that should dis-inherit them and all this to avenge the quarrell of his covenant because they still provoked him because they would not believe him for all the signes that hee had shewed among them But where in had Israel offended In what manner In what measure which this land hath not exceeded And yet ô how unwillingly doth the All-mighty punish us O how slowly O how gently Matt 11.12 The kingdome of heaven suffereth violence saith my Iesus Violence indeede by our daring sinnes for wee draw the revenger's sword for him wee bend his bowe for him Ps 7.12 and make it ready wee allso prepare for him the instruments of death vers 13 Ps 64.3 because wee whett our tongues like swords and bend our bowes to shoote our arrowes even bitter words vers 4. that wee may shoote in secret at the perfect suddenly doe wee shoote at him feare not And what now can wee expect but judgments seeing that wee will not offer the just and rightfull violence to the Kingdome of heaven even the violence of our prayers the violence of our teares the violence of sobbs and sighs and groanes in our spirituall combats and conflicts What can wee expect but vengeance And what doe wee meete with but destruction Hee hath threatned and threatned againe and againe and yet wee have resisted and resisted againe and againe too Is 5.7 When hee looked for righteousnesse behould oppression justly therfore now wee looke for mercy behould a cry A cry in the beds of the languishing a cry in the chambers of the infected and pined prisoners a cry of the healthfull for feare of infection a cry of parents for their tender children a cry of children for their dying parents Brother cryeth for brother sister for sister all cry for helpe Ps 102 1. all cry for mercy O Lord heare our prayers and let our cryes come unto thee The Sixth part of the Soliloquie treating of the duety of a Christian decreeing both to whom and for whom wee ought to pray in the time of Pestilence I Weepe and weepe and sigh and sigh and pray and pray but why doe I thus weepe and sigh and pray If for my selfe it is a debt which is challenged even by nature it selfe so that I may have any hope by these meanes either to prevent or to cure the sicknesse If for others it is charitie it is a religious duety Thus wee are commanded by the Apostle Beare yee one anothers burdens Gal. 6.2 and so fullfill the law of Christ And againe by the same Apostle I am commanded to weepe with them that weepe Rom. 12.15 But must my teares be generall Must my prayers be universall For all For the wicked as well as the godly There was a time when the Prophet Ieremiah might not pray for Iudah The Lord said unto him Pray not for this people for their good Ier. 14.11 vers 12 When they fast I will not heare their cry and when they offer burnt-offerings and oblations I will not accept them but I will consume them by the sword and by the famine and by the Pestilence There was a time too when the Lord said concerning the sonnes c. 16.3 and concerning the daughters that were borne among the Iewes concerning their mothers that bare them and concerning their fathers that begat them vers 4. They shall dye of grievous deaths they shall not be lamented neither shall they be buried but they shall be as dung upon the face of the earth and they shall be consumed by the sword and by the famine and their carkeises shall be meate for the fowle of heaven and for the beasts of the earth vers 5. For thus saith the Lord Enter not into the house of mourning neither goe to lament nor bemoane them for I have taken away my peace from this people saith the Lord even loving kindnesse and mercies vers 6. Both the great and the small shall dye in this land they shall not be buried neither shall men lament for them nor cutt themselves nor make themselves bald for them And there was a time allso when the eyes of Iehojakim the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah c 22.17 and his heart were not but for coveteousnesse and for to shed innocent blood and for oppression and for violence to doe it vers 18 Therfore thus sayd the Lord concerning him They shall not lament for him saying Ah my brother or Ah sister they shall not lament for him saying Ah Lord or Ah his glory vers 19 Hee shall be buried with the buriall of an Asse drawne and cast out beyond the
gates of Ierusalem Thus it was with them but must it therfore be thus with those which dye of the sicknesse of the Pestilence With all This were a dreadfull sentence indeede To dye and not to be pittyed to dye of the plague and before death not to be prayed for Who knoweth indeede but that some such as those men of Iudah may be among us Who knoweth but that some Iehojakims may be among the visited What then Shall I therfore pray for none Yea shall I not pray for them God forbid The lesse they pray for themselves the more will I pray for them The lesse they know God the more will I pray that they may know him The sicker they are in body the more neede they have of comfort in mind What though they in part may be a cause of this mortalitie What though their wickednesses have helped to bring this contagion If they are enemies to mee in particular I will forgive them though they are God's I will pray for them even that hee in his good time would be pleased to call them home both to the knowledg and the practise of his trueth David I am sure did pray for and pittie his enemies for so hee professeth saying Ps 35.13 As for mee when they were sick my cloathing was sack-cloth I humbled my soule with fasting Lu 19.41 And thus did my Redeemer too for Ierusalem for When hee was come neere to the citty hee beheld it yea hee wept over it vers 42 saying If thou hadst knowne even thou at least in this thy day the things which belong unto thy peace But now are they hid from thine eyes Shall David weepe then for his enemies Shall my Iesus weepe for his enemies for the enemies of his father Ioh 20 17. and my father of his God and my God and shall not I weepe for those who are in miserie and distresse My saviour knew who were elected and who were reprobates and yet hee wept over the whole citty I dare not pry into those secret counsells of my God nor can I know all those whom hee hath ordained for heaven othell shall not I then weepe for them all in generall in this generall calamitie Yes I will keepe my turne I will sing my part in this dolefull consort Surely if my God should forbid mee praying for them even the very prohibition might peraduenture encourage mee to performe it hee knoweth that wee are apt to doe whatsoever hee forbiddeth O my God either take away my readinesse and aptnesse to contradict thee or else forbid mee nothing but what thou wouldest have mee to performe But why should I pray for those who though they are visited refuse to repent Shall I hope to alter the eternall decree of him with whom is noe variablenesse Iam. 1.17 neither shadow of change What if hee hath reserved them for vengeance Can I by my prayers snatch them out of the fire If they are sick peradventure I cannot cure them If they are not yet sick I cannot preserve them O these churlish inhumane un-christian uncharitable thoughts God therfore sendeth them this affliction that they may repent and that they may rather prevent then hee exercise his revenge Seeing therfore that I know not the hearts of any I will pittie all and since by my prayers I cannot prevaile for them to whom is reserved the blacknesse of darknesse for ever I will grieve Iud 13. that Man is become so wicked Rom 2 5. as to treasure up unto himselfe such wrath against the day of wrath Faine would my God have conquered the stubbornnesse of stiffe-necked Israel with the pleasant allurements of his heavenly blessings yet they would not yeeld they would not relent Then hee threatned them yet they would not yeeld Then hee punished them and yet they would not turne which made him cry out by his Prophet Amos. 4.10 I have sent among you the Pestilence after the manner of Egypt yet have yee not returned unto mee saith the Lord. Surely the Lord is very angry with such as will not tremble at his judgments which made him threaten so by Ezekiel saying If I send a Pestilence into that land Eze 14 19. and powre out my furie upon it in blood to cut off from it man and beast Though Noah Daniel vers 20 and Ioh were in it as I live saith the Lord God they shall deliver neither sonne nor daughter they shall deliver but their owne soules by their righteousnesse What comfort then can I receave or give when I mourne for the comfortlesse What hope have I to speede when these worthies should be denyed if they were here to intercede for them by their earnest supplications Sure I am that I am not so good as any of those three Not as the worst Not as Noah though hee had beene drunke Gen 9.21 Not as Iob though Eliphaz taxed him with impatience when as hee justified him selfe and seemed to taxe even God himselfe with injustice Iob 16.15 saying I have sewed sack-cloth upon my skinne and defiled my horne in the dust My face is fowle with weeping vers 16 and on mine eye-lids is the shadow of death vers 17 Not for any injustice in my hands allso my prayer is pure Noe Noe farre short come I of either of any of them poore I a poore weake sinfull woman even as sinfull as the worst as wicked as the worst And now I begin better to bethinke my selfe by thinking worse of my felfe what are those which I questioned whether I might pray for them or not Are they sinners So am I. Are they grievous sinners So am I. Surely I doe not know enough of my selfe if I doe not know my selfe the worst the vilest the chiefest of sinners It is then but justice that I should pray for the worst since I my selfe either am or might have beene worse then them My prayers shall be generall for all hoping that God may be pleased to have mercy on all But if any among them be certainly reprobates though I know it not yet I will pray that they may be taken from the number of the faithfull that so they may neither seduce by their temptations nor offend by their examples nor dishonour my good God any longer by their crying and multiplying abhominations Yet must I howsoever be charitable in my devotions and pray for others as well as for my selfe But all this while since my thoughts have beene fixed upon those that are visited and I am certainly resolved for whom I will pray let mee be sure that I direct my prayers aright or else my devotion may be but blindnesse and my religion superstition To him without doubt and to him alone must I tender my petitions from whom yea from whom alone this sicknesse is sent upon this sinfull land And who is hee which visiteth the earth but onely the great Creatour of heaven and earth The very Philistines could
the throne of my God Be sure thou doest it for I will have a watch over my mouth and at the doores of my lipps that I may be certaine thou offend nor As for the rest of my selfe since I cannot stay now to give every part a charge in particular I shall command them onely to attend the pleasure of my royall guest Onely my thoughts I must commit to the tuition of my heart allthough it formerly hath beene false unto mee and desirous I am that they may be pressed pressed downe with greate and heavie burdens But I charge thee ô my Heart if ever thou hopest to be mine owne deere Heart that thou suffer not an imagination not a thought to come neere thee but what shall be commended unto thee by religion and what thou shalt dispatch to thy Maker And now I am prepared for thee Wellcome ô my God If my roomes are not cleane enough for thee I must intreate from thee both direction and assistance to cleanse then If any dust of wickednesse hath flowne about in the sweeping of them I will now give my mind to wash my chambers with the teares of mine eyes and that I know thou delightest in O thrice well-come blessed God Wellcome ô well-come my deerest Redeemer O how truely did the Kingly preacher affirme that Eccl 7.2 It is better to goe to the house of mourning then to goe to the house of feasting for that is the end of all and the living will lay it to heart My house is shut up indeede it is shut up for the infection for feare of the infection for feare lest others should infect my familie or for feare lest my familie should be insectious to others But what of all that I am not the first that ever was shut up I am not the onely one that ever was shut up Lev 13 4. vers 5. The Leper in the law was to be shut up seaven dayes and at the seaven dayes end when the Priest looked on him if the plague in his sight were at a stay and spreaded not in the skinne hee was to shut him up yet seaven dayes more This shutting up was rather for his cure then intended for his hurt Gen 7.16 Noah was sayd to be shut up in the Arke but it was for his preservation and so may I be likewise Ieremiah was shut up too Ier. 32.2 yea in a prison allthough his jayle was the house of the King and yet even at that time hee was visited by the best by one better then the King even by God himselfe for hee often spake to him in the time that hee was shut up c 33.1 Thus am I shut up even in a prison made of my dwelling I hope that my God will speake comfortably unto mee I will hope that hee hath shut mee up as a jewell in a cabinet in his care in his tender compassion If so I am sure that noe evill shall come in unto mee for hee is holy hee is true hee is powerfull who hath mee in keeping Reu 3.7 Hee hath the key of David hee openeth and noe man shutteth and hee shutteth and noe man openeth True it is that sometimes hee shutteth out as when hee shutteth out from his eares the prayers of his people Thus the faithfull complaine by the mouth of the Prophet Lam 3 8. When I cry and showte hee shutteth out my prayers Sometimes hee shutteth up and that in judgment too as Hee shutteth up the eyes of idolaters Is 44.18 that they cannot see and their hearts that they cannot understand And sometimes man shutteth too even when hee is forsaken of God for so saith the wise King A violent man shutteth his eyes to devise froward things Prov 16.30 And againe God is sayd sometimes in judgment to shut up even heaven it selfe as in a time of drought Therfore Moses adviseth the Israëlites saying Deut 11.16 Take heede to your selves that your heart be not deceaved and yee turne aside and serve other Gods and worship them vers 17 And then the Lord's wrath be kindled against you and hee shut up the heaven that there be noe raine and that the land yeeld not her fruit and lest yee perish quickly from off the good land which the Lord giveth you But sure I am that allthough hee should shut mee up in judgment yet hee whose compassions faile not Lam 3.22 Hab 3.2 vers 5. in the midst of judgment will remember mercy I know that in former times hee hath beene angry and then before him went a Pestilence and burning coales went forth at his feete I know that once when the people of Israel had offended then the sword was without Eze 7.15 and the Pestilence and the famine within hee that was in the field was threatned that hee should die with the sword and hee that was in the citty famine and Pestilence should devoure him I know that Elijah Prophesied against Iehoram in writing saying 2. Chr 21.12 Thus saith the Lord Because thou hast not walked in the wayes of Iehoshaphat thy father nor in the wayes of Asa King of Iudah vers 14 Behould with a greate plague will the Lord smite thy people and thy children and thy wives and all thy goods vers 15 And thou shalt have greate sicknesse by disease of thy bowells untill thy bowells fall out by reason of the sicknesse day by day Iob 11.10 And I know allso that if hee cut off and shut up or gather together none can hinder him But what then What though hee hath shut mee up Shall I therfore rage and rave like one distracted c. 30.29 vers 30 What though I am a sister to Dragons and a companion to Owles VVhat though my skinne should be black upon mee and my bones be burnt up with heate c. 3.3 Should I therfore cry Let the day perish wherein I was borne and the night in which it was sayd There is a child conceaved O noe I will rather resolve with afflicted Iob Though hee slay mee yet will I trust in him c. 13.15 Why should I offer to be dismayed That God which dwelleth in the heavens hath taken up my house and is come to sojourne with mee upon earth I will speake in the phrase of a King But will God indeede dwell on the earth 1. King 8.27 Behold the heaven and heaven of heavens cannot conteine thee how much lesse this house of mine which thou now doest visit O what a happinesse it is to have God for our visitant Though hee cometh in wrath yet is hee well-come O let mee have my God any way rather then not have him at all If hee should not sometimes be angry with mee I should suspect that hee loved mee not but if for ever hee should be angry with mee I should feele that hee loved mee not Hee is never angry with mee but when I am not angry with my selfe I will
healeth Ex 15.26 Psl 6.2 Have mercy therfore upon mee ô Lord for I am weake ô Lord heale mee for my bones are vexed Ps 41.3 Ier 17.14 Strengthen mee now upon my bed of languishing make thou all my bed in my sicknesse Heale mee o Lord and I shall be healed save mee and I shall be saved for thou art my praise c 30.12 O let not my bruise be incurable though my wound be grievous Let mee have one to pleade my cause vers 13 even that Holy One thine onely begotten Sonne that hee may bind mee up and give mee healing medicines Thou art hee who didst promise Iacob to correct him in measure vers 11 though not to leave him altogether unpunished Thou rebukest mee for my sinne Ps 39.11 and makest my beauty to consume away like as it were a moath fretting a garment These Markes in my flesh doe cause a trembling even in my spirit Rev 13.17 Ps 86.16 Lord graunt that upon my soule be not found the marke of the beast but the marke of thy sonne that hee may owne mee for his O turne thou unto mee and have mercy upon mee give thy strength unto thy servant and save thy distressed hand-mayd Shew now some good token for good vers 17 that it may appeare unto the world that thou Lord doest helpe mee and comfort mee But if in thy secret purpose thou hast decreed at this time to gather mee unto my fathers make mee with joy comfort to render mine account unto thee the Lord of heaven earth Looke not upon the sinnes and offences of my misse-led life but rather looke upon my Redeemer's death Is 53.5 who was wounded for my transgressions bruised for mine iniquites the chastisement of my peace was layed upon him by his stripes therfore let mee be healed In the midst of the streete of thy throne ô God Reu 22.2 of either side of the river of life there is a tree of life bearing twelve manner of fruits and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations O my God let mee but come to tast of those fruits let mee but be shaded under the leaves of that tree of life Ps 41.4 Ps 103 1. Be mercifull unto mee heale my soule for I have sinned against thee Then shall my soule blesse thee O my Lord and all that is within mee shall praise thy holy name who forgivest all mine iniquities vers 3. and canst heale my diseases Into thine hands I commend my spirit Ps 31.5 for thou hast redeemed mee ô Lord thou God of trueth The Spirit and the bride say Come Reu 22.17 therfore let mee who now heare it say Come Let mee heare thy voyce ô God Gen 3.8 in the coole of the day not in the heate of thy displeasure And thou ô my Iesus who for such sinners wert made a sacrifice on the altar of the crosse how downe thine eare as thou didst upon the tree and heare and fullfill the desires of thy wounded supplicant Come ô Iesus and embrace mee in thine armes hide mee in thy wounded side from the wrath of thy father In thee alone doe I trust to thee alone doe I flee succour mee helpe mee save mee O Christ The world I leave to thee I come At the doore of thy mercy doe I knock I call I cry Lord protect mee Iesus comfort mee Strengthen my faith and confirme my hope As my earthly body draweth neerer to the earth so doe thou draw my soule up neerer unto thee who art the father of spirits Heb 12 9. O God make speede to save mee O Lord make hast to helpe mee Finish soone these dayes of sinne and then let mee enter into thy celestiall paradice and that for his sake in whom alone thou art well pleased even Iesus Christ my onely Mediatour and Redeemer Amen subject 16 THE SIXTEENTH SUBjECT Teares of a Mother for the sicknesse of her child The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray IT shall come to passe saith Moses to the house of Israel if thou wilt not hearken to the voyce of the Lord thy God Deut 28.15 to observe to doe all his commandements and his statutes which I command thee this day that all these curses shall come upon thee and overtake thee vers 16 Cursed shalt thou be in the citty and cursed shalt thou be in the field Cursed shall be thy basket and thy store vers 17 yea Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body c. vers 18 What all these curses from heaven for the sins of poore distressed mortalls O what a multitude of evills doe our sinnes deserve What punishment doeth not iniquitie cry for It cryeth for the curse of the citty the decay of trading the curse of the field whole rivers of blood in furious battailes the curse of the basket and the store the dearth of provisions Yet all these are but outward punishments and reflect onely upon the baser the worse part of our selves the body but Cursed shall be the fruit of the body oh this biteth like a Serpent stingeth like a Cockatrice Prov 23.32 The fruit of my body Is afflicted with sicknesse but is the sinne of the parent the cause of his affliction Yes yes my conscience acknowledgeth the guilt let my tongue be as ready to confesse it and my heart to repent of it But how standeth this with the justice of the Creatour Gen 18.25 Shall not the judg of all the earth doe right The Prophet Ezekiel telleth mee from God that The sonne shall not beare the iniquity of the father Eze 18 20. Mich 7 6. Ier 9.20 neither shall the father beare the iniquity of the sonne but the soule that sinneth it shall dye Else the daughter might rise up against her mother as saith the Prophet and the women by reason of the vengeance due for their sinnes might teach their daughters wayling c 31.29 Rom 3 4. if the sowre grapes which the parents have eaten should set their childrens teeth on edge But let God be true and every man a lyar that hee may be justified in his sayings and may over-come when hee is judged Hee it is who hath threatned to visit the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate him The sinne is mine Ex 20.5 but the punishment is mine infant's againe the sinne is mine infant's and the punishment is mine And yet farther The sinne is of and from both and the punishment is inflicted upon both His sufferance is my sorrow and his paines my distresse Lord what a due reward of sinne is punishment My child as yet it may be knoweth not sinne and yet is hee punished
bee none to deliver us O thou who didst suffer thy selfe to be wounded for our transgressions be pleased to cure the wounds and maladies both of the soule and body of thy distressed servant Thou knowest Lord that the feeble soule cannot praise thee with cheerefullnesse nor serve thee with alacritie The sicknesse of the body disturbeth the soule and maketh it un-apt to serve thee with readinesse O say of his disease that It is enough and remove from him speedily this heavy visitation Thine hand ô Lord is layed upon him and the stroake is so heavy that it woundeth us both Mercifull God let the sinnes of both of us be blotted out of thy remembrance like a clowde Is 44.22 and be appeased with us through the merits of thy Sonne Mar 2.17 The whole have noe neede of thee the physitian but wee that are sick O be thou the Physitian to cure our soules and then in thy good time restore thy diseased servant to his former health But if thou hast sent him this sicknesse as a messenger of death ô give him patience to beare and willingnesse to suffer whatsoever thou sendest Ranke him not in the number of those rich and wicked Eccl. 5.17 who have much sorrow and wrath in their sicknesse but ease his sorrow and appease thy wrath Make him willing to submit to thy will and pleasure that so whether hee liveth Rom. 14.8 hee may live unto thee or whether hee dyeth hee may dye unto thee yea whether hee liveth or dyeth that hee may be thine Luc. 18 13. Lord be likewise mercifull to mee a sinner Thou knowest how deepely this affliction woundeth mee To him thou gavest mee whom now thou visitest that so hee might be both my head and my directour and thou knowest my weakenesse and my frailties that I cannot understand I cannot walke in thy wayes without a counseller I cannot apprehend what I reade Act. 8.31 except some man should guide mee O be thou pleased therfore to spare his life whom I am commanded to learne of at home 1. Cor. 14.35 for if thou callest him to the joy of thine heavenly Kingdome let it be thy goodnesse to moderate my sorrow upon earth If thou takest him from my societie let mee not be left alone but send mee the comforter even thy holy Spirit to be my Protectour and my guide unto death Ps 48.14 Release him of his torments whom thou visitest with this sicknesse and ease thou my sorrowes which arise from his paines Give the comforts of thy Spirit both to him and mee that when this painfull life shall have an end wee may be found of thee in peace 2. Pet. 3.14 Is 9.6 through the merits and mercies of the Prince of peace even Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen THE NINETEENTH SUBJECT Teares of a woman lamenting the death of her beloved husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Mary came where Iesus was Io. 11.32 and saw him shee fell downe at his feete saying unto him Lord if thou hadst beene here my brother had not dyed Shee wept indeede yet it was but for a brother and the Iewes allso wept vers 33. yet it was but for a common friend but what was all that to the death of a husband O my husband my husband That very name of husband mee think's would flatter mee with comfort as if I might imagine that hee could heare mee But oh hee is dead hee is dead hee cannot heare mee hee cannot behould mee hee cannot answer mee his eares are locked up his eyes are closed his mouth is sealed his soule is gone O what shall I doe for my head my guide my heart my husband Were my Saviour upon earth againe I could send one to him as Mary did vers 3. who should say Lord behould hee whom thou lovest is dead Dead say I O dead dead hee is gone hee is departed and can never be re-called But why Why can hee not be called back againe Did not my Iesus cause Lazarus to arise when hee had beene fower dayes dead vers 44 vers 39 Yes hee did but what then I neither love my Saviour so well as Mary did nor I feare doeth hee love mee so well as hee did Mary or if both were so yet since miracles are ceased I cannot so much as hope that hee will call back the spirit of my Lord my husband Oh could hee be wooed by the teares of a sinfull woman never did any mourne so much as I would But nothing will perswade I seeke but the disturbance of him whom I mourne for if I desire to call him from his eternall rest Yet I hope that it is noe sinne to grieve that hee is gone I lament not his happinesse but mine owne losse vers 35 My Iesus himselfe did weepe for Lazarus in testimonie of his affection for so sayd the Iewes vers 36 Behould how hee loved him And was my love to my husband so litle or so cold that I should forget to testifie it in a sorrowfull teare O I cannot forbeare the remembrance of him Is 1.2 Lam 1.12 who was deerer unto mee then life it selfe Heare ô heavens and give eare ô earth Was it nothing to you all yee that were by him when yee saw him breathing out his soule and forsaking the world O behould and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow which is done unto mee wherewith the Lord hath afflicted mee in this day of his anger Tell mee not how Iacob lamented the supposed death of his sonne Ioseph Hee was misse-taken in the cause but I see and feele the chillowed clay of mine indulgent husband Iacob mourned onely for a sonne but I for an husband Iacob had more many more I had but one 2. Sam 1.26 and the love of this one to mee did passe the love of women Yet though Ioseph was alive and though hee was the youngest save one of twelve sonnes Gent 37.34 Iacob his father rent his cloathes and put sackcloth upon his loynes and mourned for him many dayes c 23.2 Tell mee not how Abraham bewayled the death of Sarah his wife who dyed in Kiriath arba in the land of Canaan Hee was a man so neither his passion nor his losse could paralell mine Hee had more-wives but I had not more husbands And yet though Abraham lost but onely a wife I reade that hee came to mourne and to weepe for her Tell mee not of Abijah the sonne of a King how hee dyed and was lamented Could a Prince be as neere and deare to the people as a loving husband to the wife of his bofome Yet though neither mariage nor blood could pleade for a teare I find that all Israël mourned for him
man of God had dis-obeyed his command the ould Prophet tould him saying Thy carkeise shall not come into the sepulcher of thy fathers 1. King 13.22 This curse was accounted as full of dread as any that was sent upon the sonnes of men When the young man the Prophet annointed Iehu King over Israë 2. King 9.7 hee tould him that hee should smite the house of Ahab his master and that the doggs should eate Iezebel in the portion of Iezreel vers 10 vers 7. and there should be none to bury her that the Lord might avenge the blood of his servants the Prophets and the blood of all the servants of the Lord at the hand of Iezebel VVhat Iehu was commanded hee did faithfully execute for when hee had caused the eunuches to throw that painted adulteresse out of the window from whence shee looked vers 3. some of her blood was sprinkeled both on the wall and on the horses and hee trod her under foote Afterward when hee had eate and dranke hee sayd vers 34. Gâ—e see now this cursed woman and bury her for shee is a King's daughter vers 35 And they went to bury her vers 37 but they found noe more of her then the skull and the feete the palmes of her hands sothat they could not say This is lezebel Ier. 22.17 Because the eyes of Iehojakim and his heart were not but for his coveteousnesse and for to shed innocent blood and for oppression for violence to doe it vers 18 therfore thus sayd the Lord concerning Iehojakim the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah vers 19 Hee shall be buried with the buriall of an Asse drawne and cast forth beyond the gates of Ierusalem The Lord threatned the Princes of Iudah c. 34.19 and the Princes of Ierusalem and the Eunuches and the Priests all the people of the land which passed betweene the parts of the calfe vers 20 saying I will even give them into the hand of their enemies and into the hand of them that seeke their life and their dead bodies shall be for meate unto the fowles of heaven and to the beasts of the earth But on the contrarie Ahijah the Prophet telleth the wife of ieroboam concerning her sick sonne Abijah 1. King 24.12 vers 13 saying Arise get thee to thine house and when thy feete enter into the citty the child shall dye But all Israël shall mourne for him and bury him for hee onely of Ieroboam shall come to thegrave because in him there is found some good thinge towards the Lord God of Israel in the house of Ieroboam Againe wheÌ„ Huldah the Prophetesse did for etell the destruction of Ierusalem but a respite thereof in the time of Iosiah she tould him 2. King 22.20 saying Behould saith the Lord I will gather thee to thy fathers and thou shalt be gathered into thy grave in peace Thus hath it often discovered the wrath of the All-mighty when the earkeises of the dead have beene denyed their funeralls and on the contrarie it hath sometimes manifested his love when they have peaceably beene brought to their longest home Buriall is the last of dueties which wee owe unto our friends to which both religion and nature and civilitie doe prompt us for ward When Isaak being ould and full of dayes Gen 35 29. did give up the ghost and dyed and was gathered unto his people his two sonnes Esau and Iacob buried him When Iohn the Baptist was beheaded in the prison Mat 14 12. his disciples came and tooke up the body and buried it The disciple that was willing to follow my Redeemer yet accounted it his duety to attend on the funerall of his deceased father and therfore desired saying c 8.21 Lord suffer mee first to goe and bury my father True it is that his request was denyed not as if Christ dis-liked his pietie but to teach him that nothing should hinder him from religion This was as greate an excuse as most that could have beene pleaded and yet even this had not force enough to prevayle for his departure Our father in heaven must be preferred in our service before the fathers of our flesh Againe it may be conceaved that the parent of the disciple dyed in un-beliefe it was therfore more proper that infidells should bury him who were dead to religion then that a disciple of Christ should mixe with the un-faithfull Howsoëver hee was not checked for desiring leave to bury his father but hee was commanded rather to follow his Master Even the glutton in the Gospel had so much favour as to be brought to his grave so saith the text The rich man allso dyed Lu. 16.22 Iob. 21.30 vers 32 vers 33 and was buried Though the wicked saith Iob is reserved to the day of destruction and shall be brought forth to the day of wrath yet shall hee be brought to the grave and shall remaine in the tombe The clods of the valley shall be sweete unto him and every man shall draw after him as there are innumerable before him Ps 49.14 Though death as the Psalmist speaketh doeth feede on the wicked and the upright shall have dominion over them in the morning and their beawty shall consume from their dwellings yet in the grave shall it consume them and in the grave like sheepe shall they lye Thus the Prophet foretelling the buriall of my Redeemer Is 53.9 sayd Hee made his grave with the wicked the rich in his death It is then the duety of the living to provide even for the dead that they may be buried in peace But is it a matter of any moment in what place wee lay the bodies of our deceased friends Is it not all one whether in the fields or whether in our Golgotha's Noe doubtlesse for even the lawes of our land are so justly severe against idolaters that wee suffer not the convicted to be buried in our ground which is dedicated to this use Neither may they be permitted to mixe with our dead who have desperately become the murderers of themselves but they lye in the roades where a stake is set up to give notice to passengers that they unnaturally hastened their owne departure It is a matter of some moment to us who are living that wee lay our deceased friends in a place convenient for allthough it exteÌ„deth not to their knowledg yet it redoundeth to their honour When Iudas had given back the thirtie pieces of silver the price of him that was vallewed Mat 27 9. to the chiefe Priests that hired him they tooke counsell together and seing it was not fitt to mixe that money with the rest of their treasure because it was the price of blood vers 7. they bought the potter's field with it vers 6. to burie strangers vers 7. Thus they who would readily give a reward to a traitour were not so readie to be
shortnesse of our lives then the most eloquent straines of the best rhetorician These bells assure mee that my life is but a found a noise an aier these perfumes tell mee that it is but a vapour 1. Pet. 1 24. these herbs doe teach mee that flesh is as grasse and these teares these early teares which so suddenly arise when my heart doeth call teach mee mortalitie in their hastie falling And who can choose but weepe for the shortnesse of our lives Who can forbeare a teare at the funerall of a friend It was a curse inflicted upon the wicked Iewes that they neither should be buried nor yet lamented They shall dye of grievous deaths sayth the Prophet Ier. 16.4 they shall not be lamented neither shall they be buried but they shall be as dung upon the face of the earth and their carkeises shall be meate for the fowles of heaven vers 5. for the beasts of the earth For thus saith the Lord Enter not into the house of mourning neither goe to lament nor bemoane them for I have taken away my peace from this people saith the Lord even loving kindnesse c 25.33 and Ierusaâ—mercies So the slaine of Iudah and IerusaleÌ„ saith the Prophet shall not be lamented neither gathered nor buried they shall be dung upon the ground So it was threatned concerning Iehojakim the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah saying c 22.18 They shall not lament for him saying Ah my brother or ah sister they shall not lament for him saying ah Lord or ah his glory It was a judgment upon the Israelites Amos 8.2 when the Lord sayd by the mouth of his Prophet The end is come upon my people of Israel vers 3. and the songs of the temples shall be howlings in that day saith the Lord there shall be many dead bodies in every place they shall cast them forth with silence Surely if ever nature had libertie to pleade for the convenience yea for the necessitie of a teare it may at this time command Grace must and most willingly shall have the chiefe predominance but let nature have likewise it 's qualified drops so they grow not immoderate Though my losse be the greatest to whom hee was a husband yet others may weepe too to whom hee was a friend Gen 50.7 When Ioseph went to burie his father then all the servantâ— of Pharaoh went with him and the Elderâ— of his house and all the Elders of the land oâ— Egypt vers 8. And all the house of Ioseph and his brethren vers 10 and his father's house And they came to the threshing floore of Atad and there they mourned with a greate and very sore lamentation and hee made a mourning for his father seaven dayes Io 11.31 VVhen Lazarus was buried and the Iewes saw Mary rise up hastily and goe out they litle imagined that shee went to meete the Lord of life but they followed her saying Shee goeth unto the grave to weepe there When her brother Lazarus was dead shee wept and her sister wept and her friends the Iewes wept and when Christ did see them all thus weeping hee was so farre from blaming them vers 35 2. Chr 35.24 that hee wept himselfe When Iosiah was slaine his servants tooke him out of the charet wherein hee was wounded and put him in the second charet which hee had they brought him to Ierusalem And hee dyed and was buried in one of the sepulchres of his fathers and all Iudah and Ierusalem mourned for Iosiah VVhen Samuel was dead 1. Sam. 28.3 all Israel lamented him and buried him in Ramah in his owne citty 1. King 13.29 VVhen the ould Prophet tooke up the carkeise of the man of God who had beene slaine by a Lyon hee layed it upon the Asse and brought it back and came to the â—tty to mourne and to burie him vers 30 And hee layd his carkeise in his owne grave and they mourned over him saying Alas my brother The children of Israel wept for Moses in the â—laines of Moab thirtie dayes Deut 34.8 1 Sam 15.35 Though Saâ—uel tooke his leave departed from Saul â—nd come noe more to see him untill the day of â—is death neverthelesse Samuell mourned for Saul Iud 11 39. vers 40 Though Iephthah's daughter had beene lead and buried long before yet it was a â—ustome in Israel that the daughters of Israel went yeerely to lament the daughter of Iephthah â—he Gileadite fower dayes in a yeere When Stephen was stoned Act 8.2 devout men caried him to his buriall and made greate lamentation over him 2. Chr 32.33 VVhen Hezekiah slept with his fathers hee was buried in the chiefest of the sepulchres of the sonnes of David and all Iudah and the inhabitants of Ierusalem did him honour at his death Lu 7.38 VVhen Mary Magdalene stood weeping at the feete of my Saviour and did wash his feete with teares and wiped them with the haires of her head and brought an Alabaster boxe of oyntment vers 37 and anointed him with the ointment vers 38 hee was so farre from dis-liking it in her that hee checked his disciples who had indignation at the act and therfore sayd Mat 26 8. To what purpose is this wast Yea hee reproved them and sayd unto them Why trouble yee the Woman vers 10 For shee hath wrought a good worke upon mee vers 12 For in that shee hath powred this oyntment on my body shee did it for my buriall Shee hath done what shee could Mar 14 8. shee is comâ— afore hand to anoint my body to the burying Here I find was oyntment to embalme him and here were allso teares at his funerall and yet so farre was Christ from blaming her for her teares that hee not onely decreed the publishing of this act through the world where the gospel should be preached Mat. 26 13. that for a memoriall of her but hee likewise upbraided Simon with the teares of the sinner Lu 7.44 and sayd unto him I entered into thine house and thou gavest mee noe water for my feete but shee hath washed my feete with teares and wiped them with the haires of her head vers 47 c. Wherfore her sinnes which are many are forgiven for shee loved much Weepe then I may upon this sad occasion yea and weepe may my friends too Teares are as proper at a funerall as smiles at a wedding Wee have two mariages the first whereof is to living dust the last to the cold and silent earth At the former wee rejoyce for it was an institution of God before man had sinned Gen 2.24 at the latter wee weepe for it is the effect of sinne Wee cloath our selves in delightfull colours when wee celebrate the former but our blacks at the latter are our wedding garments The Rosemarie is served about at each the gloves and the favours attend at each
the wine and the other accustomed entertainments are given at each wee goe to the church for the consummation of each onely here is the difference that at the one wee rejoyce but at the other wee mourne Every guest that is willing to comply with the preâ—ent occasion must as well be sad at this as â—e merrie at the other Weepe wee may and weepe wee must especially my selfe who have â—ost my selfe But yet let mee take heede that I offend not in my teares lest that which is my duety be turned into a crime I must especially take heede that I erre not in the cause of these laments for if I griere at the happinesse of him that is departed I discover an envie rather then affection If I grieve for the losse which my selfe sustaineth I must take heede that I wrong not my confidence in God I may not offend in the number of my teares for if I weepe too much I may forfeit my hope or at least I may occasion those that behould mee to thinke that I doubt of the salvation of the dead Weepe I may and weepe I must but for feare lest I offend in these my teares in my earnest prayers I will begge that they may be sanctified To my God will I goe for his direction and assistance and in this storme of my teares I will shelter my selfe under his protection and humbly will I tender my petitions and say The Prayer O All-mighty and ever-living Lord God thou who knowest whereof wee are made Ps 103.14 and who remembrest that wee are but dust give mee grace I besiech thee to be thankfull unto thee for all thy mercies more particularly both for thy deliverance of my husband from the miseries of this life and for affording mee the meanes in peace to bring him to his longest home Lord so arme mee with patience in this time of affliction that I may not offend thee in my want or excesse of mourning Gen 3.19 Dust wee are and to dust wee shall returne From the earth wee came and to the earth wee must goe This way which thy servant must now be disposed of is the way wherein thou wilt one day leade mee allso to my rest O prepare mee for the time of my greate account Eccl 12 7. that so when my dust shall returne to the earth as it was my spirit may returne unto thee who didst give it Let his spectacle of mortality live in my memorie that so when I consider that the time will come that as naked as I came out of my mother's wombe Iob 1.21 so naked shall I thither returne againe I may wholly endeavour and seeke to be clothed with the righteousnesse of thy Sonne Rom 6 4. With him thou hast beene gratiously pleased that by baptisme I should be buried into death graunt allso good God that like as hee was raised up from the dead by the glory of thee the eternall Father even so I allso may walke in newnesse of life Make mee ever thinke upon death which will seize on mee judgment which will examine mee and hell which would devoure mee that heaven may receave mee Let this lifelesse carkeise put mee in mind of the malice of sinne which is the cause of death and of that sentence which immediatly followeth this death Thou seest ô Lord how unwilling I am to part from this frozen and earthie lumpe Thou knowest how deepe the departure of my joy doeth pierce and wound mine afflicted heart O be thou my comforter in this greatest sorrow Ps 119.96 that seeing now I see that all things doe certainly come to an end I may wholly endeavour to please thee alone who shalt never have end Is 50.3 O thou who cloathest the heavens with blacknesse and hast cloathed mee at this time who am but earth ashes with these mourning weedes graunt that by these I may be instructed to shunne the fraile and fading vanities of the earth and strive for that Kingdome which shall endure for ever Be pleased to speake peace to my troubled mind that so though nature hath power to enforce mee to weepe yet grace may prevaile to moderate my mourning Ps 106 9. Ps 104.9 O thou who diddest once rebuke the red sea that thy servants might passe through them as on drie land thou who hast set a bound to the seas that they may not passe over nor turne againe to cover the earth be pleased so to rebuke the waters of mine affliction and put such a bound to these my teares that they may not drowne this earth of my feeble body but may give place to confidence and comfort in thy mercy Ps 114.3 Iordane did yeeld to thy command was driven back so drive thou back the flood of my teares that they swell not above the bankes of moderation and hope Let the grave of the deceased put mee in mind of the tombe of my blessed Redeemer that so when I am bowed downe with sorrow at the buriall of this earth I may be raised with joy for the benefits of the resurrection of my Saviour Christ Hee hath plucked out the sting which sinne had formerly given unto death 1. Cor. 15.56 vers 57 ô let mee ever be thankfull unto thee my God who givest us victorie through Iesus Christ. Give mee an assured beliefe of the generall resurrection that when I grieve at the placing of this flesh in the grave I may rejoyce in the certaintie of his rising againe Ps 25.17 Though the troubles of my heart be now enlarged yet bring thou mee out of all my feares Ps 94.19 In the midst of the sorrowes which I have in my heart let thy comforts ô God refresh my soule Lord make mee dye to sinne and live by grace that when I shall put off this tabernacle of flesh I may dwell with thee in those eternall mansions of perfect happinesse through Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen subject 21 THE TWENTIE-FIRST SUBjECT Teares of a woman in the state of widow-hood The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray BEcause Ierusalem had forsaken the Lord was was gone backward Ier 15.6 vers 8. Therfore sayd my God their widowes are increased to mee above the sand of the seas vers 6. Hee who was wearie of repenting was not wearie of destroying and yet the judgments which fell upon the Iewes were easier to the stronger then to the weaker sexe The males had a period set to their earthly troubles when the sword devoured them but the poore females were left alive destitute both of the comfort and societie of their husbands Death is a judgment mixed often with mercy because it finisheth our earthly sufferances whereas a life that is lead in continued sorrowes is so much the more burdensome
fidelitie nor his religion could preserve him from the sentence of a temporall death O what would I not doe to call him back againe What would I not give to have him restored to life againe But all that I can either doe or give cannot perswade his soule to returne back to its prison Were I the most rich and wealthie in the world yet could not my treasures urchase his returne Noe noe I am well assured of the trueth of the Psalmist who saith that They who trust in their wealth Ps 49.6 and boast themselves in the multitude of their riches vers 7. none of them can by any meanes redeeme his brother nor give to God a ransome for him Well then seing that I cannot fetch him from the grave I will yet send up my sighes towards the place where hee is blessed This I may doe without any check either of reason or religion It was a curse which God did Inflict upon Iehojakim for his sinnes Ier 22.17 even for his coveteousnesse for his oppression and for his violence vers 18 That they should not lament for him saying Ah my brother But on the contrarie when Deborah though she was but Rebeckah's nurse was buried beneath Bethel under an oake Gen 35.8 the name of it was called Allon-Bachuth the oake of weeping When the enemies of David were sisited with sicknesse Ps 35.14 hee behaved himselfe as though they had beene his friends or his brethren yea hee bowed downe heavily as one that mourneth for his mother But hee who now is dead was not mine enemie but my friend yea and noe common friend but a brother yea and not a brother in the flesh so much as in affection even as deare as a mother why then should I not sorrow for the losse of such a brother I will grieve I will lament when I remember the love and the courtesies which hee shewed unto mee and I will speake in the language of the Church to Christ and say O thou that wert my brother Cant 8.1 that sucked the breasts of my mother when I should find thee without I would kisse thee yet I should not be despised I will lament him as David did Saul and Ionathan and say 2. Sam. 1.19 vers 23 vers 26 The beautie of Israël is dead hee was lovely and pleasant in his life I am distressed for thee my brother very pleasant hast thou beene unto mee thy love to mee was wonderfull passing the love of women But what advantage to the dead are the teares of the living Can my sighes inspire life into his bosome Can a draught of my teares fetch him back againe to life O noe 't is this 't is this therfore that doeth heighten and increase my sorrowes even that my teares cannot recover him whom I lament But cease fond woman cease thy sobbs and cryes of discontent By the extreamitie of thy passion thou mayst hasten to his grave yet if thâ—… murderest thy selfe with excessive sorrow thy soule may be deprived of the locietie of his 'T is true indeede 't is most true Litle can I expect to come to heaven if I violently force my selfe from the earth Why then doe I take on as if I either suspected his happinesse or doubted of following him What comfore can it bring to his body of earth to have iâ— cabined in the grave with his dispersing asheâ— The dust of both of us may mixe in the vault and yet noe joy arise to our senselesse asher If his earth was that which drew mine affertion I see my fondnesse in the corruption of that earth but if his gracious soule was the object of my love I must strive to come where that surviveth To heaven hee 's gone and to heaven I 'll hasten and because I will goe the surest way I will walke in those paths which faith and patience shall direct mee in I will noe more disturbe the peace of my mind since that cannot helpe mee to the companie of him Weepe indeede I doe I am enforced unto it 't is the law of nature 't is an act of necessitie I cannot avoide it Yet though I weepe I will labour for content and since my God as I undoubtedly believe hath beene pleased to crowne my brother with glory I will beseech him to comfort mee here with his grace I will not immoderately weepe lest I injure my selfe I will not Weepe without hope lest I offend my Maker but that I may weepe as I should and hope as I ought live as I am required I will humble my selfe at the feete of him to whom my brother is gone and I will pray unto him and say The Prayer ALl mighty God ever-lasting father Is 9.6 thou in whom wee live and move and have pur beeing be pleased to take pittie upon thy distressed servant grieving for the losse of a â—eloved brother Thou knowest Lord how â—eerely our hearts were knitt in affection and â—herfore how justly I lament my losse Beâ—hold how these teares doe witnesse my love and imitate that oyntment on Aaron's head Ps 133.2 which went downe to the skirts of his out ward garments Behold how these dropps like that deaw of Harmon and that deaw which descended upon the mountaines of Zion vers 3. doe arise from that unitie which thou hast commanded O how shall I beare the losse of him whom thou in thy law didst charge mee to love Thou ô God didst tye us together in the bond of love yet thou thy selfe hast seperated him from my sight But since it was thy pleasure to receave him to thy selfe be pleased allso to hasten my journie to him Give mee patience to endure this stroake of thy scourge and thankfully to acknowledge thy goodnesse in his happinesse Him thou hast taken fronâ— the evills to come Rom 7 24. ô deliver mee allso from thiâ— body of death Make mee setle mine affectioâ— onely upon thee that my delight may be wholly in thy righteous lawes Give mee a sight of my sinnes for which I have not grieved so much as for the losse of my deceased brother and turne all my teares into a godly sorrow for offending thy majestie Be thou unto mee a father in thy provident care and a brother in thy love that all my wants may be supplyed by thy sufficience On earth I see there is nothing permanent Lord let my treasure be stored in heaven Mat 6.21 and then where my treasure is let my heart be allso When it shall be thy pleasure to free mee from this tabernacle of flesh ô let mee be receaved into that quire of Saints whereof I doubt not but my brother is a joyfull member Graunt ô my God that when I have passed the waves of this troublesome world I may sing tryumphant Halelujahs to thy praise and glory through the merits of him who is mine elder brother even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 24 THE TWENTIE-FOURTH
downe Sharon was like a wildernesse and Bashan and Carmel did shake off their fruits But what was the reason of all these judgments of all this languishing sent upon the creatures I neede not goe farre to seeke the cause the Prophet will soone determine it for hee complaineth of the people that By swearing and lying Hos 4.2 and killing and stealing and committing adulterie they brake forth and blood touched blood These were their sinnes but what was the effect The selfe same Prophet immediately after threatneth them with it saying vers 3. Therfore shall the land mourne and every one that dwelleth therein shall languish with the beasts of the field and with the fowles of heaven Here was the earth and the world the citties and the fields and the vines and the plants and the lands and the corne and the oyle and the figtrees and all languishing grievously languishing and the cause thereof was the people's sinne But yet mee think's this cannot much concerne mee Shall I for a smootie eare of corne or two or for the drying of the branch of a vine or a figtree presently conclude that the withering of them can paralell my consumption Yes doubtlesse I must if I looke into the cause The trees and the other of the smaller plants could never either be guiltie of an offence or be sensible of a punishment but the men the men they were the offenders and for their transgressions their mother earth had her second curse I cannot pleade mine owne innocency or pretend that I am free from the guilt of enormities Noe noe I cannot I may therfore conceave my selfe one of the trees which I find so cursed for my branches mine armes my leggs my thighs doe pine away my fruits my workes and my labours are now decayed and what can I say or pleade for my selfe I am one of those trees which the Apostle speaketh of whose fruite withereth Iud. 12 without fruit twice dead and now am I ready to be plucked up by the rootes Yet for all this my stubborne heart mee think's stand 's out and would faine perswade mee that the curse of the trees resemble's not my disease But I hope that I shall came this heart of mine and put it to silence when I shall search more narrowly in to the sacred booke Wherfore did the Prophet say that hee heard from the Lord God of hosts a Consumption Is 28.22 determined even upon the whole earth VVas it not because the people sayd vers 15 They had made a covenant with death and with hell they were at agreement when the overflowing scourge should passe thorow it should not come nigh them for they had made lyes their refuge and under falsehood they had hid themselves Doeth not the Lord by the mouth of Moses threaten the people saying If yee will not hearken unto mee Lev 26 14. vers 16 and will not doe these commandements I will allso doe this unto you I will even appoint over you terrour Consumption and the burning ague that shall consume the eyes and cause sorrow of heart Doeth hee not againe menace them and say Deut 28. The Lord shall smite thee with a Consumption and a feaver and with an inflammation and with an extreame burning Doeth not the Prophet tell the people saying Is 10.22 vers 23. The Consumption decreed shall over-flow in righteousnesse for the Lord God of hosts shall make a Consumption even determined in the midst of all the land O my conscience my conscience thou art now at a standâ— O my heart my hardest heart thou art now struck dead Loe here 's my very disease my Consumption and is here not my sinne too Have I never made a covenant with death or beene at agreement with hell Have I never made lyes my refuge or hid my selfe under false-hood Have I not refused to hearken to my God and to doe his commandements O how faine would I have attributed my disease to fecond causes and rather have thanked the Physitian then the Divine for telling mee the ground But now I am at a stand and must needs confesse in the midst of my torments that I find in them the displeasure of my maker I cannot urge one act of goodnesse that ever I did to pleade my pardon for the least for the smallest sinne which I have committed Alas I find my destinie in the booke of Psalmes where the Prophet telleth mee that The wicked shall perish Ps 37.20 and the enemies of the Lord shall be as the fatt of lambs they shall Consume into smoake shall they Consume away O were I but worthy to be ranked in the forme with Aoraham I might as well as hee be styled The friend of God Iam 2.23 But my conscience telleth mee that though God be my friend in his goodnesse and longsuffering yet never was I hitherto a friend of his Such a friend to him indeede I am as hee was whom in his meekenesse hee called a friend Mat 22 12. hee who shifted in for a dinner among the guests that were invited But what became of him Alas when hee was found not having on a wedding garment vers 11 vers 13 the Lord then said unto his servants Bind him hand and foote and take him away and cast him into outward darknesse there shal be weeping and gnashing of teeth O this dreadfull sentence have I deserved besides this consumption which I now groane under and all because I am an enemie of the Lord's This shall be the plague saith the Prophet wherewith the Lord shall smite all the people that have fought against Ierusalem Zech 14.12 Their flesh shall consume away while they stand upon their feete and their eyes shall consume away in their holes and their tongue shall consume away in their mouth Ierusalem is the vision of peace Gal 4.26 But I have allways warred against it The Church upon earth hath found mee an adversarie and that Ierusalem which is above hath found mee an enemie This is my fault and justly therfore doe I feele this punishment For this offence my flesh consumeth away while I stand on my feete mine eyes are mistied and over-cast with dimnesse and my tongue is so feeble that I can skarce complaine I may now cry out as Hezekiah did and say Mine age is departed Is 38.12 and is removed from mee as a sheep-heard's tent I have cutt off like a weaver my life hee will cutt mee off with pining sicknesse from day even to night wilt thou make an end of mee But let mee not forget the sinne of Hezekiah His heart was lifted up 2. Châ—… 32.25 therfore there was wrath upon him and upon Iudah and upon Hierusalem Let mee not forget mine owne sinne My heart hath beene lifted up too I have beene proude yea I have swelled with scorne and contempt O that with Hezekiah too vers 26 I could humble my selfe for the pride of my
him who is emnipotent Hee did worke many wonders by his Apostles Act 19 11. even upon the living and speciall miracles by the hand of Saint Paul vers 12 so that from his body were brought unto the sick handkercheifs or aprons the diseases departed from them the evill spirits went out of them And hee who wrought cure of the people without meanes can give such a blessing to the meanes that I may thereby be restored againe many diseases my Redeemer himselfe did cure while hee was upon earth It is true that hee is now not here in the flesh hee is ascended into heaven But what of that Though his humanitie be there yet his divinitie is every where I will therfore submit to his pleasure and I will hope for my health While hee was upon earth hee delighted in cures and his mercie remaineth still the same readily will I therfore submit to his pleasure Mar. 2.3 Once was a man so weake with the palsie that hee was borne by fower vers 4. and when by reason of the preasse they could not come neere the doores of the house where my Saviour was they un-covered the roofe and let him downe in his bed When Iesus saw their faith vers 5. hee said unto the sick of the palsie Sonne thy sinnes be forgiven thee Mat 8.14 When Peter's wive's mother was sick of a feaver vers 15 my Saviour did but onely touch her hand and the feaver left her and shee arose and ministred unto them c. 4.24 The people brought unto him all sick folke that were taken with diverse diseases and torments and those that were possessed with devills and those that were lunatick and those that had the palsy and hee healed them It is hee alone that can heale and therfore to him alone will I pray that I may be healed Were my disease as ould as my body my body as ancient as time it selfe yet hee that can remit my sinnes can restore my health But my disease is not so ancient and therfore the cure doeth not seeme to be so hard Suppose that I have languished a moneth a quarter a whole yeare What if three What if sixe What if a dozen yeares It exceedeth not either his power Mat. 9.20 or skill to make mee whole Hee cured a woman who for twelve yeares together had beene diseased of an issue of blood in her body Mar 5.26 Shee poore woman had suffered many things of many physitians and had spent al that shee had and yet was nothing bettered but rather grew worse Thus despairing of any helpe from man shee addressed herselfe to him who is both God and man To him that cure was so easie that shee did but onely touch the hemme of his garment strait way the fountaine of her blood was dryed up vers 29 and shee felt in her body that shee was healed of that plague There was a miracle indeede that with the touch of a garment the disease should be cured If such power did lye in the hemne of his garment what vertue must I needes believe did lie in his body But what comfort can I receave from this which I reade when I know that that body is ascended into heaven Fond woman as I am why doe I thus waver Though his flesh be from mee yet his spirit is with mee Yea and his flesh and his blood is offered still unto Christians upon earth Hee giveth not onely his garment to touch but allso his flesh and that not to touch onely but even to eate to seede upon in the blessed sacrament That woman was cured by the touch of his garment and shall not I hope for his mercy who feede upon his flesh and blood in the Eucharist Yes yes I must I will believe that hee for his owne sake will remitt my sinnes and that if it may advantage the glory of his name hee â—an and may recover my health Yet all this while I thinke but of a disease of twelve yeares standing What if I had beene sick for eighteene yeares together Might I therfore despaire of his power Noe noe I might not I durst not Lu 13.11 Doe not I reade of a woman who had a spirit of insirmitie eighteene yeares and was bowed together and could in noe wise lift up herselfe A disease shee had which in effect was not alltogether unlike unto mine for I stoope too and am allmost bowed together through the weakenesse and infirmitie of my body and cannot lift up my selfe but am enforced to require the aide of my friends and attendance to raise mee and to support mee Yet I reade that when Iesus saw her vers 12 hee called her unto him and said unto her Woman thou art loosed from thine infirmitie vers 13 And hee layd his hands on her and immediately shee was made straite and glorified God It may be his pleasure to speake such comfort allso unto mee for I have not beene sick so many yeares as was shee and I seeke my Saviour which shee did not allthough I must acknowledge it is his grace which worketh in mee this my seeking of him yea and I begge the cure whereas shee was asked if shee would be cured Why then should I not hope that hee will lay his hands upon mee and make mee straite and restore mee whole as hee did that woman that I may glorifie him for it But suppose that my disease had continued above twentie yeares suppose above thirtie should the long continuance make mee determine the cure impossible Nothing lesse for I reade that a certaine man was at the poole of Bethesda Io. 5.5 who had an infirmitie thirtie and eight yeares vers 6. and when my Iesus sam him lye there and knew that hee had beene now a long time in that case hee said unto him Wilt thou be whole vers 7. The impotent man answered him Sir I have noe man when the water is troubled to put mee into the poole but while I am coming another steppeth downe before mee vers 8. vers 9. Iesus saith unto him Rise take up thy bed and walke and immediately the man was made whole and tooke up his bed and walked Loe here is some comfort still thirtie and eight yeares continuance was nothing to Christ Hee who is eternall seeth all things at once and doeth all things without difficultie Surely that man was intended for a patterne of patience and that I might learne contentedly to suffer what my God shall lay upon mee Hee despaired not of health though his disease was inveterate but hee lay â—… the poole and expected still the hand of mercy â—o lift him into the water nothing doubting â—f the cure if hee could in due time but get â—…to the poole Nor may I despaire of what â—y God can doe but I must continue in my â—pplications enduring mine affliction with â—tience and referring all to his holy pleasure 〈◊〉 must
be as constant in my prayers as the man â—as constant in his attendance at the poole At â—y gate ô Christ I must I doe continually â—e Thy blood ô Iesus is the onely Bethesda â—r my distressed soule Lord leade mee into â—…at poole of blood by the hand of faith and then I shall not distrust the effect of that â—ver O cleanse my soule and then I shall willingly submit to thy pleasure for my body But still ô still my paines increase and my flesh consume's I pray and I begge and I beseech and yet I find noe ease noe reliefe The continuance of my sicknesse doe's but â—each mee the ignorance of the Physitians or â—he deadnesse of the druggs and potions I am dyeted and I am physicked and my body is become the very shop of an Apothecarie and yet I find noe ease noe comfort 'T is true that thirtie and eight yeares continuance of a maladie hindered not Christ from curing with a word But if it had remained longer could hee have done the like Yes surely why not Hee himselfe could as well have dooâ— that as have given power to his Apostles tâ— restore the Criple who had beene fortie yeaâ—… lame This was done by Peter and Iohn for the man that was above fortie yeares ould Act 14 22. c 3.2 and had beene lame from his mother's wombe even on him was shewed this miracle of healing I may hope for some favour too from the hands of my God for though to mee it might appeare allmost a miracle that I should recore yet with God it is as easily effected by a word as was the greate creation of heaven and earth I will therfore submit to his pleasure and 〈◊〉 upon his goodnesse Hee is a God of mercy an tender compassion hee is the greate Physitia both of soule and body hee hath allways delighted in acts of charitie It was his promise upon some conditions to heale a whoâ—… land 2. Chr 7.14 for his owne words are If my people which are called by my name shall humble themselves and pray and seeke my face and turnâ— from their wicked wayes then will I heare from heaven and will forgive their sinne and wiâ—… heale their land I am one of the people ô Christ that is called by thy name for a Christian I am though a sinfull and a feeble Christian and thou hast humbled mee with this thy visitation and grace thou hast given mee I blesse the for it to humble my selfe in the consideration of mine iniquities and to pray and to seâ—… thy face Lord perfect thy good workes and make mee turne from mine iniquities and then heare mee from heaven and forgive my sinne and if it may stand with thy eternall decree heale thy servant Hee hath likewise shewed his mercy even in healing of waters 2. King 2.21 for his Prophet Elisha went forth to the spring of un-wholesome waters and cast salt in there and said Thus saith the Lord I have healed these waters there shall not â—e from thence any more death or barren land So the waters were healed vers 22 according to the saying of Elisha the Prophet Lord I have waters too that require thy helpe for they are un-wholesome they are sinfull I weepe and I lament my teares runne downe on my cheekes Lam. 1.2 and all either with extreamitie of anguish or feare of death or despaire of thy power to restore mee to health few of them are for my sinnes few of them for my transgressions But some hope I have that thou wilt likewise heale these waters for allready thou hast cast some salt into them I find by my tast that they are brackish that they are brinish Lord let mee be noe longer a barren land but make mee fruitfull in good works Col 1.10 Ps 1.3 that I may be like unto a tree planted by the rivers of water that bringeth forth his fruite in due season and then though this leafe for a time may faile though the flower of my body may be cropped or mowed for the harvest yet I know that my Redeemer will not cast it into the fire but will make it spring up hereafter in eternall glory Hee hath allso healed the persons of diverse of his people Ps 107.20 for so saith the Psalmist Hee sent his word and healed them delivered them froÌ„ their destructions Is 19.22 So Isaiah prophesieth concerning Egypt saying The Lord shall smite Egypt hee shall smite and heale it and they shall returne even to the Lord and hee shall be intreated of them and shall heale them O what comfortable words were these to Egypt Hee may if hee please cheere mee up allso with the like for hee hath allready smitten mee and in his loving kindnesse hee hath so sanctified this affliction that by it hee hath made mee to returne unto him O Lord now if it be thy pleasure be thou intreated of mee heale mee This God is the same God who speaketh by the mouth of Moses and saith See now that I Deut 32.39 even I am hee and there is noe God with mee I kill and I make alive I wound and I heale neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand This is the same Lord whom Hannah did magnifie in her thankfull Song and said The Lord killeth and maketh alive hee bringeth downe to the grave 1. Sam. 2.6 and bringeth up This is the same God of whom Iob his servant professeth and boasteth saying Hee maketh sore Iob. 5.18 and bindeth up hee woundeth and his hands make whole This is the same Lord VVhom David commandeth his soule to magnifie and saith Ps 103 1. vers 2. Blesse the Lord ô my soule and all that is within mee blesse his holy name Blesse the Lord ô my soule and forget not all his benefits Who forgiveth all thine iniquities who healeth all thy diseafes vers 3. and who redeemeth thy life from destruction vers 4. this God is the same God who alone hath power over soule body can if hee pleaseth preserve them both Hee it is whose mercies were promised to his Church when by his Prophet hee said The light of the Moone shall be as the light of the Sunne Is 30.26 and the light of the Sunne shall bee seaven fold as the light of seaven dayes in the day that the Lord bindeth up the breach of his people and healeth the stroake of their wound Hee it is who giveth such Euangelicall promises to penitent Iudah and saith I have seene his wayes and will heale him c 57.18 I will leade him allso and restore comforts to him and to his mourners I create the fruite of the lipps peace peace to him that is farre off vers 19 and to him that is neere saith the Lord and I will heale him This is hee who inviteth Israel to come unto him and saith Returne yee back-sliding Children and I will heale your backsliding
minds that curse which wretched Ham the father of Canaan receaved from Noah when hee saw his nakednesse and tould his brethren Gen 9.25 Cursed said Noah be Canaan a servant of servants shall hee be to his brethren But because Shem and Iaphet tooke a garment vers 23 layd it upon their showlders and went backward and covered the nakednesse of their father and their faces were backward and they saw not their father's nakednesse therfore hee sayd Blessed be the Lord God of Shem vers 26 vers 27 and Canaan shall be his servant God shall enlarge Iaphet and hee shall dwell in the tents of Shem Canaan shall be his servant Consider with your selves that I am your mother Whatsoever imperfections yee have discovered in mee doe in some kind reflect even upon your selves for as your bodies were mine so my credit and good name you must account to be yours But I cannot thinke that yee will neede more advice for this which even nature it selfe should teach you to practise My time is but short my speech beginneth to saile mee I will not trouble you with much allthough something more I must say unto you which I hope yee will remember when I shall sleepe in the dust Your first and chiefest duety must allways be for the service of your God If yee will dayly observe the benefitts which hee sendeth you yee cannot choose but thanke him dayly for his blessings Let it be your care to ground your actions upon his written law Vnder-take nothing which is not warranted by his word and goe forward in nothing by unlawfull meanes or to a bad intent Beginne all in him and continue in him and end in him and hee himselfe will be your reward If yee allways preserve religion in your hearts yee will allways have quietnesse and content in your minds First make him your God and then distrust not his providence noe nor his love and compassion while yee remaine his children In whatsoever vocations yee shall leade your lives be sure that yee be conscionablie industrious and laborious in them then leave the event and the blessing to his good pleasure I would feine have you be his children much more then yee are mine for yee have nothing from mee but your sinne and corruption but from him you must expect both grace and glory If therfore yee strive to blesse and magnifie your God yee may be sure that your God will both blesse and glorifie you his children Prov. 10.22 Remember that the blessing of the Lord maketh rich and hee addeth noe sorrow with it Take heede therfore to your selves let him be in all your thoughts for even for them yee must account at his greate tribunall Take heede unto your words that they give none offence either to God or man Ps 62.4 There is a sort of people who blesse with their mouths but they curse in their inward parts I would not have you be of the number of them Ps 109 17. for as they love cursing so it shall happen unto them they delight not in blessing therfore shall it be farre from them vers 18 As they cloath themselves with cursing like as with a garment so it shall come into their bowells like water and like oyle into their bones Take heede allso unto your actions that there be not wickednesse in the intent nor sinne in the prosequution of them for howsoëver they shall appeare in the eye of the world they will be stricktly justly examined by the righteous judg First be yee sure that yee blesse your God and then yee may expect a blessing from him Deut 8 10. When yee have eaten and are full then yee shall blesse the Lord your God 1. Chrâ— 29.20 Remember the congregation of Israël how they blessed the Lord God of their fathers and bowed downe their heads and worshipped the Lord. Neh 9.5 Remember how the Levites encouraged the people unto it and said unto them Stand up and blesse the Lord your God for ever and ever and blessed be thy glorious name which is exalted above all blessing and praise Remember how the Psalmist moved them unto it when hee cryed Ps 66.8 O blesse our God yee people and make the voyce of his praise to be heard be thankfull unto him Ps 100.4 and blesse his name Remember how David resolved saying Ps 16.7 I will blesse the Lord which hath given mee counsell Remember how hee decreed saying I will blesse thee while I live Ps 63.4 I will lift up my hands in thy name Remember how hee encouraged his soule to this duety saying Ps 103 1. Blesse the Lord ô my soule and all that is within mee blesse his holy name vers 2. Blesse the Lord ô my soule and forget not all his benefits Who forgiveth all thine iniquities vers 3. who healeth all thy disease Remember how hee practised it when hee blesse the Lord before all the congregation 1. Chr 29.10 and sayd Blessed be thou Lord God of Israël our father for ever and ever vers 11 Thine ô Lord is the greatnesse and the power and the glory and the victory and the majestie for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine thine is the Kingdome ô Lord and thou art exalted as head above all vers 12 Both riches and honour come from thee and thou reignest over all and in thine hand is power and might and in thine hand it is to make greate and to give strength unto all Now therfore our God wee thanke thee vers 13 and praise thy glorious name And remember how Ezra blessed the Lord Neh. 8.6 the greate God and all the people answered Amen Amen with lifting up their hands and they bowed their heads and worshipped the Lord with their faces to the ground Thus if yee blesse him if yee love him if yee honour him if yee obey him hee will so blesse you that yee shall delight in his service and be filled with his goodnesse Carie in your minds those words of the Psalmist Ps 128.1 Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord that walkeeh in his wayes For thou shalt eate the labour of thine hands vers 2. happy shalt thou be Ier 17.7 and it shall be well with thee Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord and whose hope the Lord is Gen. 25 11. Remember how after the death of Abraham God blessed his Sonne Isaak So hee may you and so hee will you when I your poore feeble mother am streched forth and returned to the earth if yee will heare his â—…yce and observe his statutes If so yee will â—oe Deut 14.29 then the Lord your God will blesse you in â—ll the workes of your hands which yee shall doe Hee who created man in his owne image both â—ale and female and blessed them Gen. 1.27 even the same Lord will
blesse you if yee be righteous vers 28 Ps 5.12 Ps 115.13 2. Tim 4.6 and â—ith favour hee will compasse you as with a shield Hee will blesse them that feare him both small and greate And now my children I have not much more to say to you for the time of my departure is at hand If yee doe heartily love your God I know that yee will affectionately love each other yee will be observant to your guardians and instructours yee will be courteous unto all Be not dismayed at any crosse or affliction at any losse or povertie which may fall upon you Mat 6.33 Deut 28.8 Ex 23.25 but seeke yee first the Kingdome of God and his righteousnesse and then all other things shall be added unto you Then the Lord shall command the blessing upon you both in your store-houses in all that yee set your hands unto Hee shall blesse your bread and your water Deutâ— 28.3 and take away sicknesse from the midst of you Blessed shall yee be in the citty and blessed shall yee be in the field vers 4. Blessed shaâ— be the fruits of your bodies and the fruit of your grounds and the fruits of your cattell and the increase of your kine and the flocks of your sheepe vers 5. Blessed shall be your basket vers 6. and your store Blessed shall yee be when yee come in and blessed shall yee beâ— when yee goe forth c. 7.13 The Lord will love youâ— and will blesse you and multiplie you buâ— will allso blesse the fruit of the wombe unto you and the fruit of your land and your corne and your wine and your oyle and the increase of your kine and the flocks of your sheepe in the places where yee shall live c. 28.12 Hee will open unto you his good treasure the heaven to give the raine unto your land in his season and to blesse all the worke of your hands Gen. 49.25 and yee shall lend unto many and yee shall not borrow Hee shall helpe you and blesse you with the blessings of heaven above blessings of the deepe that lyeth under and blessings of the breasts of the wombe And that hee may thus blesse you the same Lord direct your hearts preserve you in his blessing All that I can doe now is to pray for you and my weakenesse will hardly permit mee to doe that yet so long as I can speake I trust I shall pray and in my petitions remember both my selfe and you While I am yet alive it is my duety to pray for you and it is your duety allso to pray for mee The Lord graunt that wee may all doe what hee requireth at 〈◊〉 hands Doe not yee grieve too much that I am so neere my rest for it is the decree of â—…y God and the longing expectation of my â—earied selfe The Lord give you patience to â—ndure this affliction and the Lord give mee â—atience and perseverance unto the end Now I goe the way of all the earth 1. King 2.2 Keepe yee the Charge of the Lord your God to walke in his wayes to keepe his statutes vers 3. and his commandements and his judgments and his â—estimonies as it is written in the Scriptures that yee may prosper in all that yee doe and whithersoëver yee turne your hands The Lord give you the blessing of Iudah Deut. 33.7 and â—eare your voyces and let your hands be sufficient for you and let him be an helper to you from your enemies and the Lord give you the blessing of Benjamin vers 12 The Lord cover you all the day long and dwell betweene your shoulders And the Lord give you the blessing of Ioseph vers 13 Blessed of the Lord be your land for the pretious things of heaven for the deaw and for the deepe that coucheth beneath vers 14 and for the pretious fruits brought forth by the Sunne vers 16 and for the pretious things put forth by the Moone and for the pretious things of the earth and fullnesse thereof and for the good will of him that dwelt in the hush The eternall God be your resuge vers 27 and underneath you the everlasting armes 2. Sam. 7.26 And now ô Lord God let it please thee to blesse the house of thy servant Vers 29 and with thy blessing letâ— familie of thy servant be blessed for ever Deut. 26.15 ps 67.1 Lâ—… downe from thine holy habitation from heare and blesse them O my God he mercifull uâ— them and blesse them and cause thy face to 〈◊〉 upon them And now with Iacob I have made an 〈◊〉 of commanding you Gen. 49.33 and ready I am to gathâ—… up my feete into the bed and to yeeld up the 〈◊〉 and to be gathered unto my fathers Onâ—… come yee neere my deere ones that I 〈◊〉 kisse you and that my cold and clammy haâ—… may be layed upon your heads that I may once more blesse you and dye Fare-well my prettie ones farewell the children of my deare affection 2. Cor. 13.11 I must leave you and I hope I shall leave my God with you who will be unto you a father of mercies and 〈◊〉 God of all consolation Once more fare-well 1. Pet. 3 8. 2. Tim. 4.23 Love as brethren and the God of love and peace be with you The Lord Iesus Christ be with your spirits Grace be with you all Amen subject 26 THE TWENTIE-SIXTH SUBjECT Teares of a dying woman wherein is set downe her religious exercises 1 A Soliloquie in which is set forth 1 A desire of life 2 The certaintie of death 2 A godly preparation against the minuit of death 3 A prayer of the sick 4 The consolation of the godly in the hower of death 5 The resignation of the soule into the hands of God exercise 1 â—he Soliloquie wherein is set forth part 1 1. A desire of life THE EjACULATION â—sal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray VVHen Ahazia had fallen downe through a lattesse in his upper chamber 2. King 1.2 that was in Samaria and was sick of 〈◊〉 fall hee sent messengers to enquire of Baal-zebub the God of Ekron whether hee should recover of that dangerous sicknesse Every one desireth a fore-knowledg of events that they might prevent those dangers which otherwise might ensue Herein mee thinks wee endeavour a kind of imitation of our maker labouring unjustly for his attribute of prae-science But if wee desire what hee forbiddeth wee seeke but our destruction in the pursuit of our desires Of some things hee often permitteth us a fore-knowledg and somethings againe hee hideth from us that so both by ouâ— knowledg wee may conjecture at what a blessing wee should have enjoyed had not Adam transgressed and allso that by our ignorance wee may
learne to depend upon God Some things wee thinke wee can certainly foresee consulting with reason about those causes and effects which are meerely naturall but yet wee often faile in our expectations either through the defect of reason or the indisposition and weakenesse of the second causes or else yea and most chiefely by the order of the Most High Yet some are so fond as to magnifie their reason and thereupon ground a necessitie of events not well considering that Allthough this reason obligeth men yet it tyeth not him who is farre above both reason and nature Some againe in their curiositie prying too neerely into things to come borrow their assistance from the Prince of the ayer accounting their knowledg an excellency not tyed to the lawes of religion Thus did that wicked King Ahazia but contrarie to his expectation hee receaved an answer from a Prophet of the Lord vers 6. for Elijah said unto him Thus saith the Lord Therfore thou shalt not come downe from that bed on which thou art gone up but shalt surely dye O what a dreadfull sentence was this Especially to him who sought to the Devill that lyer for his knowledg but receaved such an answer from God who could not deceave Thus am I gone up to my bed too as was that bruised King I am tormented with sicknesse and I languish in a disease O what shall I doe Faine mee thinks I would be certified how long I have to live faine I would live Ps 39.4 and yet I am not certaine of life I am not readie for death and yet I am heartily afraid that I shall find this death too readie for mee But why should I not dye Am I not disturbed with heates and colds with weakenesse and feeblenesse Am I not in a world that giveth noe content That can neither bound my desires nor yet afford what I seeke While I am here I am subject to miseries every moment When I shall be gone this faintnesse and weakenesse these troubles and perturbations shall forsake my weake and infirme body But what then When my body shall sleepe in the silent grave shall it continue there for ever Or shall the soule have a decay and yeald to corruption together with my body of clay and earth Noe noe nothing lesse The body shall indeede lye downe in the dust but yet it shall one day be summoned to rise againe but the soule is eternall it shall continue for ever For ever it shall rest in continuall peace or for ever it shall be tormented in ever-lasting flames Noe merveile then ô my sorrowfull soule that thou art unwilling to leave this tabernacle of flesh since thou knowest not whither thou shalt flye at thy departure But why should not I as well hope for felicitie as dread those torments when my life shall end Doe I aske Why The reason is too plaine What good can I expect from the hands of him whom I have never loved whom I have never obeyed Those whom hee crowneth with heavenly blisse are they who sought for it in a miserable life But I have so lived upon earth as if earth should continue and I have made choyce of this world for the seate of my happinesse But now alas to my woe I find that earth can neither afford any true content nor yet a continuance of that which I accounted good What now shall I doe O whither shall I betake my selfe that I may be partaker of those joyes which are the inheritance of the godly Num. 23.10 Faine I would dye the death of the righteous and I wish that my last end might be like unto his But is this a desire easie to be graunted Alas had I lived the life of the righteous I might then have beene sure I should have dyed the death of them But that ô that is it which pricketh mee at the heart I have lived in sensualitie and this evill day hath beene out of my remembrance so that I cannot comfort my selfe with the smallest hope of what I so eagerly covet But what then Is there noe remedie at all but that I must have the bitter portion with the damned in hell God forbid Hee who hath forborne mee so long when I went on in my wickednesse may yet if hee please afford mee his mercy It is not above his power nor will it eclipse his glory It was once his free promise to a thiefe even dying upon the crosse Lu 23.43 2. Cor. 1.20 This day shalt thou be with mee in paradise His promises allso are sure they are in him yea and in him Amen I doubt not therfore but his mercy was as greate as his word was sure Thus hee saved one which forbiddeth mee despairing yet it was but one which forbiddeth mee presuming But surely it can be noe presumption to build upon his goodnesse Hee delighteth not in the death of a sinner What good can the condemning of mee doe either to him or his creatures True it is that his justice maybe magnified by it but yet it will adde noe glory to his mercy Againe there are but a few in heaven to sing forth his praises but infinite millions in hell and destruction dishonour him in their blasphemies In heaven mee think's there is one too few untill I shall come thither to adde to the number In hell mee think's there would be one too many if I should be throwne into that gulfe of perdition O my God since thou hast vouchsafed mee the knowledg of a heaven yea and of thee the Lord of heaven and earth allthough my knowledg be imperfect thou art offended yet for the merits of thy Sonne be pleased to make mee a cittizen of heaven Rev 21 27. It is most true that there shall in noe wise enter into that place any thing that defileth neither whatsoëver worketh abomination or maketh a lye but they onely which are written in the Lamb's booke of life Upon these termes my hopes indeede doe languish and grow more faint then my feeble body But who is that which condemneth the wicked Is it not hee who likewise calleth the wicked and inviteth them to mercy Is it not hee who telleth mee by his Prophet and saith it himselfe Eze 18 21. If the wicked will turne from all his sinnes that hee hath committed and keepe all my statutes Vers 22 doe that which is lawfull and right hee shall surely live hee shall not dye All his transgressions that hee hath committed they shall not be mentioned unto him vers 23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should dye Saith the Lord God and not that hee should returne from his wayes and live O who is more wicked then I Who more sinfull then I My life hath beene nothing but a continued rebellion and my time hath beene wasted in nothing but disobedience Yet while I have life I have hope If I can but know mine iniquities and get a sorrowfull spirit for them
order unto him and in obedience to his commands I will love my neighbour as my selfe I will love him with the same affection as my selfe For his sake for whom I love my selfe even for God's For the same reason as my selfe even for grace conferred in this life present and for a certaine hope of eternall glory in the life to come In the same order as my selfe which shall be above the world but inferiour to my God Vpon the same ground as myselfe even because of the image of God imprinted in him and because hee is capable of immortall happinesse lastly as long as myselfe even from the beginning unto the end untill this fraile flesh shall be forsaken by my pensive my sad and sorrowfull soule And that my brethren my neighbours may be the better assured of my love which cannot be firme unlesse I accord with them in the same beliefe Heb 4.14 and that it may be knowne that through the grace of my God I hold fast the profession of my faith wherein I have lived even the same which was taught by my Saviour and his Apostles according to the trueth and puritie of the same without leaning either to prophanesse atheisme superstition or any other errour or heresie and to the intent that they may joyne with mee in thanksgiving to my God for preserving mee in the same and in prayer unto God that I may continue in the same both to the end in the end I will therfore cheerefully faithfully and confidently rehearse the articles of my beliefe and say I beleeve in God the Father Allmighty Maker of heaven and earth and in Iesus Christ his onely Sonne our Lord which was conceived by the holy Ghost borne of the Virgin Mary suffered under Pontius Pilate was crucified dead and buried hee descended into hell the third day hee rose againe from the dead hee ascended into heaven and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father All-mighty from thence hee shall come to judg the quick and the dead I beleeve in the holy Ghost the holy Catholike Church the Communion of Saints the forgivenesse of sinnes the resurrection of the body and the life everlasting Amen Thus I believe Lord helpe my un-beliefe Mar. 9.24 Eph. 4.14 and graunt that I may not be tossed to and fro and caried about with every wind of doctrine by the sleight of men and cunning craftinesse whereby they lie in wayt to deceave vers 15 but that speaking and believing this trueth in love I may grow up unto him in all things which is the head even Christ my Redeemer And that I may thus repent mee of my sinnes and continue in love and persevere in the faith and submit to his good pleasure I will with a bended heart and a sorrowfull spirit and weeping eyes pray unto him and say exercise 3 3. The Prayer of the sick FAther of mercies Lord of life thou God which art a refuge in the time of trouble Ps 6.2 have mercy upon mee Ps 143.4 for I am weake and my heart with in mee is desolate A sinner I am I must confesse it not deserving thy mercy a fowle a grievous sinner I am who have disobeyed thy statutes and broken all thy commandements and never have I set my selfe in any good way to seeke my peace and reconciliation with thee My conscience check's mee and my sinnes testifie against mee and mine adversarie the devill strjveth to pluck from mee my considence in thee O Lord be thou my protectour and my gracious father Be reconciled unto mee in Iesus Christ in whom alone thou art well pleased Io 16.23 and in whose name whatsoëver I shall aske of thee I am sure thou wilt give it unto mee Heavenly Father doe thou assist mee doe thou comfort mee in these my trpâ—… and afflictions Ps 60.11 o be thou my helpe in trouble for vaine is the helpe of man To thee I cry to thee I come with a panting heart with a sorrowfull soule with an humble spirit I have sinned ô I have sinned and done amisse and my portion might be justly therfore in the land of darknesse there to be tormented with the devill and his angells forever But ô thou who hast promised to heale all those that are broken in heart Ps 147 3. and to bind up their wounds be reconciled unto mee in the wounds of my Redeemer Speake peace unto my conscience in this agony Ps 143.6 in this sorrowfull and deepe sighing for my skarlet sinnes To thee Ps 143.6 and to thee alone I stretch forth my hands to thee my soule gaspeth as a thirstie land vers 7. Heare mee ô Lord that soone for my spirit waxeth faint hide not thy face from mee lest I be like unto them that goe downe to destruction O let not these teares be refused nor these groanes be sighed and sobbed in vaine but by the power of his passion out of whose pretious side did issue both water and blood be thou reconciled unto mee the unworthiest of thy creatures Though my soule be deepely stained with the pollutions of my transgressions yet his blood hath power to make it white as snow On that remission of sinnes by his torments and sufferings doe I wholly rely My selfe I abhorre Iob 42.6 and repent in dust and ashes my workes I disclaine for I know their unworthinesse on thee alone ô my Iesus I wholly depend and by thee alone I hope for remission Be thou my Iesus be thou my Saviour Cure mee by thy wounds heale mee by thy stripes ease mee by thy torments comfort mee by thine agonie refresh my fainting soule by thy bluodie sweat revive mee by thy death and ô Sonne of God and Saviour of the world present mee to thy father in the robe of thy righteousnesse Ps 94.13 Give mee patience in this time of adversitie that I may quietly and contentedly submit to thy good pleasure rely upon thy mercy be thankfull for thy chastisement and in all things so looke up unto thee in this time of my sicknesse that I may hereafter be raised to glory by the power of thy resurrection This sicknesse for ought I know may be unto death but in thee I trust it shall be a passage unto life If thou hast passed the sentence of the first death upon mee decreeing to execute it by this my sicknesse to lay mee in the dust by this present visitation howsoever be pleased ô my father for the worthinesse of thy sonne to free met from the horrour of the second death Let mee be found of thee in peace 2. Pet 3 14. Hab 3.2 Is 9.13 Iob. 3.25 Mich 6 13. 1. Pet 4 19. Ps 119.175 that it may clearely appeare to mee that thou art a God of trueth and in the midst of judgment remembrest mercy Vnto thee I turne for thou hast smitten mee and the thing that I so greatly feared is fallen upon mee My body thou
makest sick in smiting by reason of my sinnes yet in considence and full assurance of thy mercy I commit the keeping of my soule unto thee as unto a faithfull Creatour O let that live and it shall praise thee for in thee doe I trust let mee not be confounded neither let mee despaire of the greatnesse of thy mercies Ps 23.4 And though now I walke in the shadow of death yet I know that it is in thy power to restore mee to health Lord if it may stand with thy secret will be pleased to recover mee that I may glorifie thy goodnesse in thy worke of power Blesse all the lawfull meanes that shall be used for that purpose Give skill to the Physitians vertue to the medicines strength to my spirits and health to my body Let mee recover my strength that I may imploy it in thy service and restore mee to health that I may be more active in mine obedience to all thy commandements But if otherwise thou hast determined and resolvest at this time to make mee as water spilt upon the ground 2. Sam. 14.14 graunt mee a willing and ready submission to thy decree Either abate the torments of mine afflicted body or increase my patience that I may not offend thee in my sufferings Make mee to magnifie thee whether by life or by death and graunt mee so safe a passage and conduct in the armes of thy mercy that I may be conveyed safely into Abraham's bosome Graunt this ô father for the love and merits of thy Sonne Iesus Christ my onely intercessour and redeemer in whose name words I farther call upon thee saying Our Father which art in heaven Hallowed be thy name Thy Kingdome come Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our dayly bread And forgive us our trespasses as wee forgive them that trespasse against us leade us not into temptation but deliver us from evill for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen exercise 4 4. The consolation of the godly in the hower of death VVHerfore is light given to him that is in miserie saith holy Iob and life unto the bitter in soule Iob. 3.20 vers 21 Which long for death but it cometh not and digge for it more then for hid treasures vers 22 Which rejoyce exceedingly and are glad when they can find the grave This was the complaint of a faithfull man and may now be the lamentation of a sorrowfull woman I have grieved and I have mourned for my sinnes and my good God I blesse him for it is gratiously pleased in the bowells of his mercy and compassion to give mee an assurance of happinesse by the merits of my Iesus But when comest thou ô my sweete my longed for my desired Saviour Thou knowest my paines which draw from mee many sinsull thoughts and un-fitting cryes Thou takest notice of the cunning suggestions of my greatest adversarie and his busie allurements to rob mee of my hope Thou seest how sometimes hee would leade mee into carnall securitie and sometimes into a beliefe that my verie vicet are vertues or not seene by Thee or not to be punished by thee and sometimes againe hee striveth to hurrie mee into the verie gulfe of despaire But I know and am assured that through the merits of my Redeemer the gates of hell shall not be able to prevaile against mee Mat. 16 18. Io 13.1 Prov. 12.28 for whom thou lovest thou wilt love unto the end I know that in the way of righteousnesse there is life and in the path-way thereof there is noe death Hence away therfore yee fowle fiends and rebellious tempters What doe yee here fawning and grinning hoping to betray a penitent soule These teares which I shed for the wounds that I made in the body of my Saviour by my piercing sinns are too pretious a water for you to hath in too choyce a wine for you to tast of here are noe hopes for the enemies of mine indulgent Iesus Though my groanes alas cannot be free from the pollution of sinne yet they shall not advantage you in what yee desire Ps 119.115 Away from mee yee wicked ones I will keepe the commandements of my God Thinke not to affright mee with my approaching death Phil. 1.23 for I desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ Death I feare thee not come come and trye thy power but know that thy countenance which is so terrible to reprobates is the producer of joy comfort to my wearied heart Thou poore feeble despised nothing what power or strength is left thee to boast of Grave why gapest thou why standest thou so open as if thou didst hope to tryumph Hos 13 14. and conquer mee My Christ did threaten to be thy plagues ô death my Iesus did resolve to be thy destruction ô grave and that repentance should be hid from his eyes Is 25.8 1 Cor 15.54 Hee promised to swallow up death in victorie and to wipe away teares from off all faces This hee did promise and this hee hath performed for by his blessed Apostle I am well assured that death it selfe is swallowed up in victorie Now I dare challenge you ô yee impotent and powerlesse adversaries I dare scorne vers 55 and contemne you O death where is thy sting O grave where is thy victorie Thy sting ô death was pullud out by him who is the Lord of life The strength of thy sting was that law which was fullfilled by my mercifull Iesus Hos 13 14. Ps 49.15 Rom 14.9 Hee hee hath ransomed mee from the power of the grave hath redeemed mee from death Hee hath redeemed my soule from the power of hell for hee shall receave mee To this end hee dyed and rose againe re-vived that hee might be Lord both of the dead and of the living Ps 68.20 Ps 48.14 Rom 14 7. vers 8. Hee that is my God is the God of salvation unto whom belong the issues from death This God is my God for ever and ever hee shall be my guide even unto death I live not to my selfe nor doe I dye unto my selfe for whether I live I live unto the Lord whether I dye I dye unto the Lord whether I live therfore Phil 1.20 or dye I am the Lord 's Christ shall be magnified in my body whether it be by life or by death for to mee to live is Christ vers 21 Heb. 12 18. vers 22 vers 23 vers 24 and to dye is gaine I come not to the mount that might not be touched nor to blacknesse and darknesse and tempest but I come unto mount Sion to the generall assemblie and â—rch of the first-borne which are written in heaven and to God the judg of all and to the spirits of just men made perfect and to Iesus the Mediatour of the new covenant and to the blood of sprinkling that
the rivers are full of us Good God what a menace was this which went out against Egypt What water the land with blood Yes with blood And good reason for that countrie which had beene so fertile through the overflowings of Nilus was now growne more glutted with skarlet sinns then their river was pregnant reemed with misse shâ—ppen monsters Thus Goâ— can doe and thus God will doe when hiâ— patience is over-pressed with the infinite in crease of insufferable crimes And thus o thus he now doe's to my poore nativeâ— bleeding countrie This this land which waâ— like the land of Egypt Gen. 13 10. Lam. 1.1 Ier. 5.9 vers 10 even as the garden of thâ— Lord which was great among nations and Princesse among Provinces is now Made an astonishment and an hissing and a desolation The voyce of mirth and the voyce of gladnesse and the voyce of the Bride-groome and the voyce of the Bride and the sound of the mill-stones and the light of the candle are taken from us and this whole land by degrees become's a desolation vers 11 Lam. 1.4 and an astonishment Her priests sigh her virgins are afflicted and she is in bitternesse Lord what a strange and sad alteration is here in every corner of the Kingdome in all estates and conditions of the people Our cities are become prisoners even to their owne fortifications and seeme to be coffind in the walls of their strength The grave and ancient inhabitants of them who had out-lived their sweat and labour are now enforced to become young apprentices to their allmost forgotten crafts and finding their stiffe stickie fingers unapt to purchase bread for their bellies they moisten their shrivell'd cheekes with those few teares their age can allow them The cornets and the sack-buts are turned into trumpets and fifes our feasts are turned into mourning Amos. 8.10 and all our songs into lamentation and sack-cloth is brought upon all loines and baldnesse upon every head and our mourning is as for an onely sonne and the end of our mirth is this our bitter day Our dances are changed into marches our banquets into famine our gownes and liveries into garments made of the skinns of Elkes and Buffeloes and the suites of gold and Tissue into glittering armour The hatts composed of the sofe wooll of the Beaver are turned into helmets beavers of hard and heavy mettall the lofty proud structures into poore and narrow hutts and tents and the pride of the cup-board and the glory of the fingers into salarie for souldiers and the price of blood Ioel. 3.9 Warre is proclaimed in our gates it is prepared our mighty men are awaked all the men of warre draw neere and come up vers 10 Our plough-shares are beaten into swords and our pruning hookes into speares Our citizens hands forget the cunning of their trades and occupations Ps 144.1 by teaching their hands to warre and their fingers to fight Our penns are turned into pikes our maces into swords our walking staves into halbeards and partizans and leading staves and our voyces of harmonie and musick into showtes and horrid cries of formidable armies The bells which merrily rang the peales and the changes either roare out our destructions in engines of warre by a strange metamorphosis or if they continue in their ould condition they skarce know any other tone then knells for the slaine the death of whom causeth the wringing of hands among orphanes widdowes Our Beth-els are turned into Beth-avens so that now wee skarce dare to seeke Bethel Amos. 5.5 or enter into Gilgal or passe unto Beersheba Our Daniels Dan. 6.16 vers 18 oh our Daniels are cast into the denns of Lyons and yet few of us doe passe the night in fasting nor doe we send away the instruments of musick from before us nor doth our sleepe goe from us O that wee would yet once tremble and feare before the God of Daniel vers 26 who is the living God and stedfast for ever and his Kingdome that which shall not be destroyed for his dominion shall be even to the end vers 27 He delivereth and rescueth and hee worketh signes and wonders in heaven in earth Sad was the time with Ieremiah the Prophet Ier 37.12 when he went out of Ierusalem to goe into the land of Benjamin to separate himselfe thence in the midst of the people For vers 13 when he was in the gate of Benjamin a captaine of the ward was there whose name was Irijah vers 14 and he tooke Ieremiah the Prophet saying Thou fallest away to the Caldeans but Ieremiah said It is false I fall not away to the Caldeans but he hearkened not unto him So Irijah tooke Ieremiah and brought him to the Princes vers 15 wherfore the Princes were wroth with Ieremiah and smote him and put him in prison in the house of Ionathan the Scribe for they had made that a prison Bad Eze 2.6 o full bad are our times too for our Ezekiels live among briars and thornes and dwell among scorpions Heb 11 36. The Prophets of the Lord have their trialls of cruell mockings yea of bonds and imprisonment They are stoned they are tempted vers 37 they are slaine with the sword they wander about in sheepe-skinns and goate-skinns being destitute afflicted and tormented vers 38 of whom the world is not worthy They wander in deserts and in mountaines and in denns and caves of the earth This thou hast seene ô Lord Ps 35.22 vers 23 keepe not silence ô Lord be not thou farr from them Stirre up thyselfe and awake to their judgment and to their cause o our God and our Lord. The time is allready come that judgment hath begun at the house of God 1. Pet. 4.17 and if it first begin at them what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel Wee see not our signes there is skarce any Prophet more and who is there among us that knoweth how long Ps 74.9 Wee have unsettled people among us who are apt to say to the Seers see not to the Prophets Is 30.10 Prophesie not unto us right things speake unto us smooth things Prophesie deceits Get yee out of the way turne aside out of the path vers 11 cause the holy one of Israel to cease from before us The Prophet Ieremiah complained that in his time a wonderfull and horrible thing was committed in the land Ier 5.30 vers 31 the Prophets prophesied lies and the people loved to have it so and what saith hee shall wee doe in the end thereof c 14.13 Againe he cries out Ah Lord God behold the Prophets say unto them Yee shall not see the sword neither shall yee have famine but I will give you assured peace in this place vers 14 The Prophets Prophesie lies in thy name whereas thou sentest them not neither hast thou
and leaned his hand on the wall and a serpent bitt him Wayling is in all our streetes vers 16 and wee sayâ— all the high wayes Alasse Alasse Wâ— call the husbandman to mourning and such are skillfull of lamentation to wailing vers 17 â—… all vineyards is wayling for the Lord doth pâ—… thorow us O that now at last wee wouâ— seriously lay this to our hearts vers 14 and seeh good and not evill that wee may live and so the Lord the God of hosts may be with us O that wee would once hate the evill vers 15 and love the good and establish judgment in the gate It may be that the Lord of hosts would be gracious unto the remnant of Ioseph But while wee remaine in our rebellions wee must looke to lye downe in our miseries as at this day Ps 79.2 The dead bodies of the servants of the most high are given to be meate unto the fowles of the heaven and the flesh of his saints unto the beasts of the earth vers 3. Their blood is shed like water round about the Kingdome and there are none to bury them Wee are become a reproach to our neighbours vers 4. a scorne and derision to them that are round about us vers 5. How long Lord wilt thou be angry for ever vers 8. Shall thy jealousie burne like fire O remember not against us our former iniquities let thy tender mercies speedily prevent us for wee are brought very love vers 9. Helpe us ô God of our salvation for the glory of thy name O deliver us Ps 125 3. and purge away our sinns for thy name's sake O let not the rod of the wicked 〈◊〉 upon the lot of the righteous lest the righteous 〈◊〉 forth their hands to iniquity Oh how our â—eres doe enforce us to flee to save our lives Ier 48.6 Prov 28.1 Gen 19 22. â—…ke us like the heath in the wildernesse â—…e sometimes flee when none pursueth us â—hen Sodome was destroyed Lot had a Zoar 〈◊〉 flee unto when Ierusalem was layed wast â—…ne of the inhabitants had a Pella to escape â—…to O that I now had wings like a dove Ps 55.6 〈◊〉 then would I flee away too and be at â—…st Lo then would I wander far off vers 7. and â—…maine in the wildernesse Ioel 2.11 for the day of the â—ord is greate and very verrible and who can â—ide it Hee is the true God Ier. 10.10 hee is the liâ—ing God and an everlasting King at his â—rath the earth doth tremble and the nation 〈◊〉 not able to abide his indignation Ye â—hat doe I talke of fleeing and wish for the â—vings of a dove that I might flee Alasse whither would I flee Can the mountaines â—…r the hills cover mee from the all-seeing Lord of hosts Ps 139.7 Whither shall I goe from his spirit or whither shall I flee from his presence If I ascend up to heaven hee is there If I make my bed in hell behold he is there allso vers 8. vers 9. vers 10 If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea even there shall his hand leade mee and his right hand shall hold mee If I say vers 11 surely the darknesse shall cover mee even the night shall be light about mee Yea vers 12 the darknesse hideth not from him but the night shineth as the day the dâ—…nesse and the light to him are both alike Wâ—… then shall I yet doe Abide his wrath I cannot endure these troubles vexatioâ—… and impoverishings and heart-breakings aâ—… soule-bleeding perturbations any longer I cannot and yet whither to goe or flee to shun and avoyd them I know not Well I am yet resolved what I will doe Yes 't is my onely way and doe it I must I will Since I cannot flee from God I will flee to God And yet I will flee from him from his wrath from his anger from his displeasure and for all that I will flee to him allso and to none but him to his mercy to his promises to his tender compassions which never faile I have displeased him with my sinns but I will displease my selfe for thus displeasing my kind my good my loving God I have moved the holy one of Israel to anger by mine iniquities But I will be angry with my selfe for moving him in whom I live Act 17 28. and move and have my being I will come unto him with teares mee thinks mine eyes already begin to water and I will cry unto him Iob. 34.28 Ps 65.2 for hee heareth the cry of the afflicted and I will pray unto him for hee is a god that heareth prayer and I will sigh unto him for he caused a marke to be set upon the fore-heads of those in Ierusalem who did sigh and cry for all the abominations which were done in the midst Ez 9.4 thereof Oh who can forbeare a shewer of teares that is but the least sensible of the stormes of our calamities Iud. 5.15 Who can choose but have greate thoughts of heart for these divisions of Reuben For my part surely my heart is not all stone some part of it at least is flesh and therefore it must needs be sensible both of the generall sufferances and of my particuler miserable condition Our Chirurgians have a stone composed by art which they call the infernall stone with which they stupifie and make dead the flesh where they intend to make an orifice for a fountenell or issue From my heart should issue a fountaine of sorrow for the cause of my God's displeasure and yet I am afraid mee thinks to have the orifice made I would be content to grieve but mee thinks I would not have it painfull I would doe it at cheape rates O but I must both grieve and I must be pained too yea I must be cut to the heart yet not as were the high Priest and the Counsell Act. 5.29 when Peter and Iohn tould them that they ought to obey God rather then men where upon they were cut to the heart and tooke counsell to slay them vers 33 c. 7.54 nor as they were cut to the heart when they gnashed with their teeth upon Stephen but I must howsoever be cut or at least I must be pricked at the heart as were Peter's converts c 2.37 when they said unto him and to the rest of the Apostles Men and brethren what shall wee doe Oh but I am afraid that I shall not be sensible enough for I feare that I have an infernall stone lying upon my heart which the devill layeth there purposely that I may not be sensible Well if thus it be I shall find it by the working by the tingling I am sure that God now doth a Thing in our Israel 1. Sam. 3.11 at which both the eares of every one that heareth
it doe tingle yea and mee think's not onely mine eares tingle but even my heart allso tingleth and trembleth at the same Well though that stone be there yet the inscision shall be made and howsoever I will desire that a paine I may endure If yet I am not sensible enough when the inscision is made I hope I shall have time enough to smart before the eskar be off Lord I desire that I may be sensible of the wounds of this land and that the blood which is shed in these violent times may be washed away by the teares of mee and other penitent sinners Or if blood requireth blood Lord let the wine and oyle of the best Samaritane let the blood of my mercifull Redeemer prevaile for pardon for the blood which is shed in these un-naturall warrs and let it stoppe the fountaine the current the issue thereof If my poore countrie was formerly troubled with a plurisie I am sure that now it useth the harsh meanes of phlebotomie for it is let blood in every part in the head the armes the leggs the feete yea and even in the very heart And yet for all this are there not some among us upon whose hearts the stupifying infernall stone is layd who are like unto Moab Ier. 48.11 who have beene at case from their youth and have setled upon their lees and have not beene emptyed from vessell to vessell nor have gone into captivitie and therfore their tast remaineth in them neither is their sent changed Are there not those among us that put farre away the evill day Amos. 6.3 vers 4. and cause the seate of violence to come neere That lie upon beds of ivory and stretch themselves upon their couches and eate the lambs out of the flock the calves out of the midst of the stall vers 5. That chaunt to the sound of the violl and invent to themselves instruments of musick vers 6. That drinke wine in bowles and annoint themselves with the chiese ointments but are not grieved for the afflictions of Ioseph Ierusalem was then surest of her destruction when she laughed and rejoyced in her surfeits and riotts my compassionate Iesus at the same time foreseeing her ruine mourned and wept over her Oh Luc. 19 41. mee thinks when I lay my hand upon my heart when I touch my heart I find it a stringed instrument and when I stoppe upon the fretts the lesson that it playeth is nothing but Lachrymae Yet I feare I weepe not so much as I should and I feare too that every one doth not weepe so much as I doe I feare there are still those among us Isa 49.26 who dilight to be fed with their owne flesh and to be drunke with their owne blood as with sweete wine What shall I say of such or how shall I pleade for them Have these workers of wickednesse noe knowledg Ps 14.4 who eate up the people as they eate bread and call not upon the Lord 2. Sam. 2.26 Lord shall their sword devoure for ever Know wee not that it will be bitternesse in the latter end How long shall it be then ere the people be bid returne from following their brethren The Lord hath said by the mouth of his servant David that he will abhorre the bloody Ps 5.6 Ps 55.23 and deceitfull man yea he saith that bloody and deceitfull men shall not live out halfe their dayes Ps 68.30 Ps 51.14 Ps 46.9 and that hee will skatter the people that delight in warre Deliver 〈◊〉 from blood-guilinesse ô God thou God of 〈◊〉 salvation O that my God would make these warrs to cease O that he would breake the bowes and cut the speares in sunder and burâ—… the chariots in the fire This I am sure heâ— and hee alone can doe Hee and hee onely is our refuge and strength vers 1. and a very present heâ—e in trouble This therfore that hee may doe I will imitate the Prophet Daniel and I will speake Dan. 9.20 and pray and confesse mine owne sinnt and the sinns of this people and present my supplication before the Lord my God and thus I will say The First Prayer wherein is set downe 1 Gods Iustice in punishing his owne people in former times 2 His Iustice allso in the present punishing us for our offences 3 An earnest supplication for our repentance and his forgivenesse O Righteous father thou who art righteous in all thy wayes Ps 145.17 and holy in all thy workes I thine unworthy creature in the very griefe of my heart and with a sad and bleeding soule cannot choose but sit downe and weepe Ps 13â— 1. vers 8. in the consideration of our poore Sion wasted with miseries Yet great and grievous though our afflictions are and the increase and growth which they may yet arise higher unto is all-together as unknowne to us as when the period and end of them shall be howsoever I must confesse thee to be a righteous God strong and patient And seeing all things are naked and open unto thee with whom wee have to doe I cannot choose but acknowledg here upon my bended knees before thine all-seeing majesty that the sinns oh the grievous the scandalous the out-ragious sinns of this nation have cryed for this vengeance Ps 51.4 that thou mayst be justifyed when thou speakest and be cleere now thou judgest I confesse ô Lord out of a sense of mine owne transgressions and consideration of the crimes of this people Is 59.12 that our transgressions are multiplyed before thee and our sinns testifie against us for our transgressions are with us and as for our iniquities I desire of thee Lord that wee may know them When thine owne deare people of Israel would not be reformed by terrour Lev. 26 16. vers 17 and consumption and the burning ague by their enemies eating that which they had sowed and reigning over them by their fleeing when none did pursue them by making their heaven iron their earth as brasse vers 18 by suffering them to spend their strength in vaine vers 19 and causing their land not to yeeld her increase nâ— the trees their fruite vers 22 by the wild beasts robbing them of their children by destroying their cattell and making them few in number and their high wayes desolate then didst thou threaten them vers 23 saying If yee will yet walke contrarie to mee then will I walke contrarie to you vers 24 vers 25 and will punish you yet seaven times for your sinns I will bring a sword upon you that shall avenge the quarrell of my covenant when yee are gathered together within your citties I will send the Pestilence among you Deut. 28.15 yee shall be delivered into the hand of the enemie Againe thou didst allso threaten them saying If thou wilt not hearken to the voyce of the Lord thy God to observe to doe all his