weak a wretch as I striving with many evill Angels for the avoidance of a curse come off with a maime or a scar But blessed be thy name the wounds that I receive are not mortall and when I fall it is but to my knees whence I rise with new courage and hopes of victory Thou who art the God of all power and keepest the keys of hell and death hast said Resist the Devill and he will flee from you Lord I do and will by thy merciful ayd still and ever resist make thou my faith as stedfast as my will is resolute Oh still teach thou my hands to war and my fingers to fight arme thou my soul with strength and at last according to thy gracious promise crown it with victory XXIII Oh Lord God how ambitious how covetous of knowledg is this soul of mine as the eye is not satisfied with seeing nor the eare filled with hearing no more is the mind of man with understanding yea so insatiable is my heart that the more I know the more I desire to know and the less I think I know Under heaven there can be no bounds set to this intellectuall appetite O do thou stop the mouth of my soul with thy self who are infinite Whom have I in heaven but thee and there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee Alas Lord if I could know all creatures with all their forms qualities workings if I could know as much as innocent Adam or wise Solomon Yea more if I could know all that is done in earth or heaven what were my soul the better if it have not attained the knowledg of thee Since as the Preacher hath most wisely observed In much wisdome is much grief and he that increaseth knowledg increaseth sorrow Oh then set off my heart from affecting that knowledg whose end is sorrow and fix it upon that knowledg which brings everlasting life And this is life eternal to know thee the only true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent XXIV O my God what miserable uncertainties there are in these worldly hopes But yesterday I made account of an eminent advantage of my estate which now ends in a deep loss How did we lately feed our selves with the hope of a firme and during peace which now shuts up in too much bloud How confidently did I relie upon the promised favour of some great friends which now leave me in the suds as the scom of a mis-called fortune In how slippery places O Lord do our feet stand If that may be said to stand which is ever sliding never fixed And not more â—â—ippery then brittle so as there is not more danger of falling then of sinking With thee O God with thee only is a constant immutability of happiness There let me seek it there let me finde it and over-looking all the fickle objects of this vain world let my soul pitch it self upon that blessed immortality which ere long it hopes to enjoy with thee XXV Lord God What a wearisome circle do I walk in here below I sleep and dress and work and eat and work again and eat again and undress and sleep again and thus wearing out my time find a satiety in all these troublesome Lord when shall I come to that state wherein I shall do nothing but injoy thee do nothing but praise thee and in that one work shall finde such infinite contentment that my glorified soul cannot wish to do any other and shall therein alone bestow a blessed eternity XXVI O God how troublesome and painful do I find this Sun of thine whose scorching beams beat upon my head and yet this excellent creature of thine is that to which under thee we are beholden for our very life and it is thy great blessing to the earth that it may enjoy these strong and forceable rayes from it Oh Who shall be able to endure the burning flames of thy wrath which thou intendest for the punishment and everlasting torment of thine enemies And if men shall blaspheme the name of thee the God of heaven for the great heat of that beneficiall creature what shall we think they will do for that fire which shall be consuming them to all eternity Lord keep my soul from those flames which shall be ever burning and never either quenched or abated XXVII Which way O Lord which way can I look and not see some sad examples of misery One wants his limbs with Mephibosheth another his sight with Bartimeus a third with Lazarus wants bread and a whole skin One is pained in his body another plundred of his estate a third troubled in minde one is pined in prison another tortured on the rack a third languisheth under the loss of a deare son or wife or husband Who am I Lord that for the present I enjoy an immunity from all these sorrows I am sure none grones under them that hath deserved them more It is thy mercy thy meer mercy O my good God that any of these calamities have faln beside me Oh make me truly thankful for thine infinite goodness and yet onely so sensible of thy gracious indulgence this way as that when any of these evils shall seize upon mee I may be no more dejected in the sense of them then I am now overjoyed with the favor of their forbearance XXVIII O blessed God what variety of gifts hast thou scattered amongst the sons of men To one thou hast given vigor of body to another agility beauty to a third to one depth of judgment to another quickness of apprehension to one readiness and rarity of invention to another tenacity of memorie to one the knowledg of liberal arts to another the exquisiteness of manuary skill to one worldly wealth to another honour to one a wise heart to another an eloquent tongue to one more then enough to another contentment with a little to one valour to another sagacity These favors O Lord thou hast promiscuously dispersed amongst both thy friends and enemies but oh how transcendent are those spiritual mercies which thou hast reserved for thine own the graces of heavenly wisdome lively faith fervent charity firme hope joy in the holy Ghost and all the rest of that divine beauye For any competency of the least of thy common blessings I desire to be thankful to thy bounty for which of them O God can I either merit or requite but oh for a soul truly and eagarly ambitious of those thy best mercies Oh let me ever long for them and ever be insatiable of them Oh do thou fill my heart with the desire of them and let that desire never finde it self filled XXIX How comfortable a style is that O God which thine Apostle gives to thine Heaven whiles he cals it the inheritance of the Saints in light None can come there but Saints the â—oomes of this lower woâ—d are taken up commonly with wicked men with beasts with Devils but into that heavenly
THE BREATHINGS OF THE Devout Soul LONDON Printed 1648. THE BREATHINGS OF THE Devout Soul I. BLessed Lord God thou callest me to obedience and fain would I follow thee but what good can this wretched heart of mine be capable of except thou put it there thou know'st I cannot so much as wish to think well without thee I have strong powers to offend thee my sins are my own but whence should I have any inclination to good but from thee who art only and all good Lord work me to what thou requirest and then require what thou wilt II. Lord God whither need I go to seek thee Thou art so with me as that I cannot move but in thee I look up to heaven there I know thy Majestie most manifests it self but withall I know that being here thou art never out of thy heaven for it is thy presence onely that makes heaven Oh give me to enjoy thee in this lowest region of thine heavenly habitation and as in respect of my naturall being I live and move in thee so let me not live and move spiritually but with thee and to thee III. Whither now O whither do ye rove O my thoughts Can ye hope to finde rest in any of these sublunary contentments Alas how can they yeeld any stay to you that have no settlement in themselves Is there not enough in the infinite good to take you up but that ye will be wandring after earthly varities Oh my Lord how justly mightest thou cast me off with scorn for casting any affective glances upon so base a rival Truly Lord I am ashamed of this my hatefull inconstancy but it is thou only that must remedy it O thou that art the father of mercies pity my wildnesse and weak distractions Take thou my heart to thee it is thine own keep it with thee tye it close to thee by the cords of love that it may not so much as cast down an eye upon this wretched and perishing world IIII. Lord I confesse to my shame thou art a great loser by me for besides my not improving of thy favors I have not kept even-reckonings with thee I have not justly tallied up thy inestimable benefits Thy very privative mercies are both without and beyond my account for every evill that I am free from is a new blessing from thee That I am out of bondage that I am out of pain and misery that I am out of the dominion of sin out of the tyranny of Satan out of the agonies of an afflicted soul out of the torments of hell Lord how unspeakeable mercies are these Yet when did I bless thee for any of them Thy positive bounties I can feel but with a benummed and imperfect sence Lord do thou enlarge and intenerate my heart make me truly sensible as of my good received so of my escaped evils and take thou to thy self the glory of them both V. Ah my Lord God what heats and colds do I feel in my soul Sometimes I finde my self so vigorous in grace that no thought of doubt dare shew it self and me thinks I durst challenge my hellish enemies another while I feel my self so dejected and heartlesse as if I had no interest in the God of my salvation nor never had received any certain pledges of his favour What shall I say to this various disposition Whether Lord is it my wretchednesse to suffer my self to be rob'd of thee for the time by temptation or whether is this the course of thy proceedings in the dispensation of thy graces to the sons of men that thou wilt have the breathings of thy Spirit as where so how and when thou pleasest Surely O my God if I did not know thee constant to thine everlasting mercies I should be utterly disheartened with these sad intervals now when my sense failes me I make use of my faith and am no lesse sure of thee even when I feel thee not then when I finde the clearest evidences of thy gracious presence Lord shine upon me with the light of thy countenance if it may be alwaies but when ever that is clouded strengthen thou my faith so shall I be safe even when I am comfortless VI O my God I am justly ashamed to think what favors I have received from thee and what poor returns I have made to thee Truly Lord I must needs say thou hast thought nothing either in earth or in heaven too good for me and I on the other side have grudg'd thee that weakâ— and worthless obedience which thou hast required of me Alas what pleasure could I have done to thee who art infinite if I had sacrificed my whole self to thee as thou commandest Thou art and wilt be thy self though the world were not it is I I only that could be a gainer by this happy match which in my own wrong I have unthankfully neglected I see it is not so much what we have as how we imploy it O thou that hast been so bountiful in heaping thy rich mercies upon me vouchsafe to grant me yet one gift more give me grace and power to improve all thy gifts to the glory of the giver otherwise it had been better for me to have been poor then ingrateful VII Ah Lord What strugling have I with my weak fears how do I anticipate my evils by distrust What shall I do when I am old How shall I be able to indure pain How shall I pass through the horrid gates of death Oh my God Where is my faith that I am thus surprized Had I not thee to up-hold and strengthen my soul well might I tremble and sink under these cares but now that I have the assurance of so strong an helper as commands all the powers of heaven earth and hell what a shame is it for me to give so much way to my wretched infidelity as to punish my self with the expectation of future evils Oh for the victorie that overcomes the world even our faith Thou O God art my refuge and strength a very present help in trouble therefore will I not fear though the earth be removed and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the Sea VIII Lord I made account my daies should have been but an inch but thou hast made them a span long having drawn out the length of a crazie life beyond the period of my hopes It is for something sure that thou hast thus long respited me from my grave which look't for me many years ago Here I am O my God attending thy good pleasure Thou know'st best what thou hast to do with me Dispose of me as thou wilt Only make me faithfull in all thy services resolute to trust my self with thee in all events carefull to be approved of thee in all my waies and crown my decayed age with such fruits as may be pleasing to thee and available to the good of many Lastly let me live to thee and die in thee IX How oft Lord
have I wondred to see the strange carriage of thine administration of these earthly affaires and therein to see thy marvailous wisdome power goodness in fetching good out of evill Alas we wretched men are apt enough to fetch the worst of evils out of the greatest good turning the grace of thee our God into wantonnesse but how have I seen thee of liveless stones to raise up children to Abraham of sinners to make Saints out of a desperate confusion to fetch order out of a bloudy war an happy peace out of resolutions of revenge love out of the rock water out of a persecuter an Apostle How can I be discouraged with unlikelihoods when I see thee work by contraries It is not for me O my God to examine or pre-judge thy counsailes take what waies thou wilt so thou bring me to thine own end all paths shall be direct that shall leade me to blessedness X. How many good purposes O my God have I taken up let fall to the ground again without effect how teeming hath this barren womb of my heart been of false conceptions but especially when thy hand hath been smart and heavy upon me in mine affliction how have I tasked my self with duties and revived my firme resolutions of more strict obedience which yet upon the continuance of my better condition I have slackened Lord it is from thee that I purposed well it is from my own sinfull weakness that I failed in my performances If any good come me the will and the deed must be both thine The very preparations of the heart are from thee and if I have devised my way it must be thou that directest my steps O God do thou ripen and perfect all the good motions that thou puttest into my soul and make my health but such as my sickness promised XI Every man Lord is unwilling that his name should dye we are all naturally ambitious of being thought on when we are gone those that have not living monuments to perpetuate them affect to have dead if Absolon have not a son he will yet erect a pillar yet when we have all done time eates us out at the last There is no remembrance of the wise more then of the foole for ever seeing that which now is in the daies to come shall all be forgotten O God let it be my care and ambition what ever become of my memory here below that my name may be recorded in Heaven XII Thy wise providence O God hath so ordered it that every mans minde seeks and findes contentment in some thing otherwise it could not be since we must meet with so frequent crosses in the world but that mans life would be burdensome to him one takes pleasure in his hauke or hound another in his horses and furnitures one in fair buildings another in pleasant walks and beautiful gardens one in travailing abroad another in the enjoying of the profits and pleasures of his home one in the increase of his wealth another in the titles of his honor one in a comfortable wife another in loving and dutiful children but when all is done if there be not somwhat els to uphold the heart in the evil day it must sink O God do thou possesse my soul of thee let me place all my felicity in the fruition of thine infinite goodness so I am sure the worst of the world hath not power to render me other then happy XIII O Lord God under how opposite aspects do I stand from the world how variously am I construed by men One pities my condition another praises my patience One favors mee out of the opinion of some good that he thinks he sees in mee another dislikes me for some imagined evil What are the eyes or tongues of men to mee Let me not know what they say or think of me and what am I the better or worse for them they can have no influence upon me without my own apprehension All is in what termes I stand with thee my God if thou be pleased to look upon me with the eye of thy tender mercy and compassion What care I to be unjustly brow-beaten of the world If I may be blessed with thy favour let me be made a gazing-stock to the world to Angels and to men XIV Speak Lord for thy servant heareth What is it which thou wouldst have me do that I may finde rest to my soul I am willing to exercise my self in all the acts of piety which thou requirest I am ready to fast to pray to read to hear to meditate to communicate to give alms to exhort admonish reprove comfort where thou bid'st me and if there be any other duty appertaining to devotion or mercy let me serve thee in it But alas O my God howsoever I know these works are in themselves well-pleasing unto thee yet as they fall from my wretchedness they are stained with so many imperfections that I have more reason to crave pardon for them then to put confidence in them and if I could performe them never so exquisitely yet one sin is more then enough to dash all my obedience I see then O Lord I well see there is no act that I can be capable â—o do unto thee wherein I can finde any repose it must be thine act to me which only can effect it It is thy gracious word Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest Lo this rest must be thy gift not my earning and what can be fiâ—er then gift Thou givesh it then but to those that come to thee not to those that come not To those that come to thee laden and labouring under the sense of their own wretchedness not to the proud and careless O Saviour thy sinner is sufficiently laden with the burden of his iniquities lade thou me yet more with true penitent sorrow for my sins and inable me then to come unto thee by a lively faith Take thou the praise of thine own work Give me the grace to come and give me rest in coming XV O blessed Saviour What strange variety of conceits do I finde concerning thy thousand years raign What riddles are in that prophesie which no humane tongue can aread where to fix the begining of that marvailous millenary and where the end and what manner of raign it shall be whether temporal or spiritual on earth or in heaven undergoes as many constructions as there are pens that have undertaken it and yet when all is done I see thine Apostle speaks onely of the souls of thy martyrs raigning so long with thee not of thy raigning on earth so long with those Martyrs How busie are the tongues of men how are their brains taken up with the indeterminable construction of this enigmaticall truth when in the mean time the care of thy spirituall raign in their hearts is neglected O my Saviour whiles others weary themselves with the disquisition of thy personall raign
I find my self baffled at home The heart of man is deceitful above all things who can know it None but those piercing eyes of thine can discover all the windings and turnings of that intricate piece What would it avail me O Lord to mock the eyes of all the world with asemblance of holiness whilst thou shouldst see me false and filthy Should I be censured by a world of men when I am secretly allowed by thee I could contemn it yea glory in their unjust reproach But if thine eye shall note me guilty to what purpose is all the applause of men O thou that art the God of truth do thou open and dissect this close heart of mine search every fibre that is in or about it and if thou findest any ill blood there let it out and if thou findest any hollowness fill it up and so work upon it that it may be approved of thee that madest it as for men it shall be alike to me whether they spend their breath or save it XLVI Lord God What a world of treasure hast thou hid in the bowels of the earth which no eye of man ever did or shall or can see What goodly plants hast thou brought forth of the earth in wilde unknown regions which no man ever beheld What great wits hast thou shut up in a willing obscurity which the world never takes notice of In all which thou shewest that it is not only the use and benefit of man which thou regardest in the great variety of thy creation and acts of administration of the world but thine own glory and the fulfilling of thine own good pleasure and if onely the Angels of heaven be witnesses of thy great works thou canst not want a due celebration of thy praise It is just with thee O God that thou shouldst regard only thy blessed self in all that thou doest or hast done for all is thine and thou art all Oh that I could sincerely make thee the perfect scope of all my thoughts of all my actions that so we may both meet in one and the same happy end thy glory in my eternall blessedness XLVII Indeed Lord as thou saist the night commeth when no man can work What can we do when the light is shut in but shut our eyes and sleep When our senses are tyed up and our limbs laid to rest what can we do but yeeld our selves to a necessary repose O my God I perceive my night hastening on apace my Sun draws low the shadows lengthen vapours rise and the air begins to darken Let me bestir my self for the time let me lose none of my few hours Let me work hard a while because I shall soon rest everlastingly XLVIII Thou seest Lord how apt I am to contemn this body of mine Surely when I look back upon the stuffe whereof it is made no better then that I tread upon and see the loathsomness of all kinds that comes from it and feel the pain that it oft times puts me to and consider whither it is going and how noisome it is above all other creatures upon the dissolution I have much adoe to hold good terms with so unequal a partner But on the other side when I look up to thy hand and â—â—e how fearfully and wonderfully thou hast made it what infinite cost thou hast bestowed upon it in that thou hast not thought thine own blood too dear to redeeme it that thou hast so far honour'd it as to make it the Temple of thy holy Ghost and to admit it into a blessed communion with thy self and hast decreed to do so great things for it hereafter even to cloath it with immortality and to make it like unto thy glorious body I can bless thee for so happy a mate and with patience digest all these necessary infirmities and now I look upon this flesh not as it is withered and wrinkled but as it will be shining and glorified O Lord how vile so ever this clay is in it self yet make mee in thine interest and my hopes so enamoured of it as if I did already finde it made celestial Oh that my faith could prevent my change and anticipate my ensuing glory XLIX Lord what a dreadful favor was that which thou shewedst to thy Prophet Elijah to send a fiery chariot for him to conveigh him up to Heaven I should have thought that the sight of so terrible a carriage should have fetcht away his soul before-hand and have left the body groveling on the earth But that good Spirit of thine which had fore-signified that fiery rapture had doubtless fore-armed thy servant with an answerable resolution to expect and undergoe it Either he knew that chariot how ever fearful in the appearance was onely glorious and not penal Or els he cheerfully resolved that such a momentany pain in the change would be followed with an eternity of happiness O God we are not worthy to know whereto thou hast reserved us Perhaps thou hast appointed us to be in the number of those whom thou shalt finde alive at thy second coming and then the case will be ours we shall pass through fire to our immortality or if thou hast ordained us to a speedier dispatch perhaps thou hast decreed that our way to thee shall be through a fiery triall O God what ever course thou in thine holy wisdom hast determined for the fetching up my soul from this vale of misery and tears prepare me thoroughly for it and do thou work my heart to so lively a faith in thee that all the terrours of my death may be swallowed up in an assured expectation of my speedy glory and that my last groans shall be immediately seconded with eternall Allelujahs in the glorious Chore of thy Saints and Angels in Heaven Amen Amen FINIS 1 Joh. 5. 4. Psal. 46. 1. 2. Psal. 39. 6. Jude 4. Prov. 16. 1. Prov. 16. 9. Eccles 2. 16. Matth. 11. 28. 1 Cor. 8. 1. Psal. 119. 112. Psal 90. 17. Rom. 7. 15. Jsa. 5. 12. Rom. 15. 13. Ephes. 6. 12. Psal. 144 1. Eccles. 1. 8. Pâ— 73. 25. Eccles. 1. 18. Joh. 17. 3. Rev. 16. 9. Rom. 8. 17. Ps. 51. 12. Gen. 25. 22. 1 Cor. 15. 23. Act. â—4 15. Luk. 14. 14. Micah 7. 8. Phil. 3. 21. 1 Cor. 15. 42 43. Heb. 11. 13 14 15. Luk. 19. 16. 17 18 19. Ps. 40. 1. Ps. 62. 1. Cant. 5. 2. Pâ— 77 9. Micha 7. 18 19. Psal. 31. 23. 2 Kings 8. 13. Psal. 19. 13. Job 35. 10. Eccles. 11. 7. Act. 16. 25. Ps. 77. 6. 1 Sam. 16. 7.