enough for me to consider the Divine nature in Unitie of Essence unless I go yet further and find a Trinity of Persons to be curious in this search is dangerous to be careless damnable nothing may be here safely seen but what is gratiously revealed Lord no man can see thee as thou art in thy self suffer mee therefore to see thee as thou art unto us that I may know thee and love thee and delight in thee and be for ever known and loved of thee If there were not an eternity of being then it may be truly said that not being was before being and so that being had its rise from-not being by causing it self to be when it was not So should Privation which was eternally evill produce that glorious being which is eternally good Seeing this cannot be it will hence follow that being was from all eternity and that this being was eternally Good for that which was good in the effect must needs be far more eminently good in the cause That this eternall good being must be also infinite because eternity it self is infinite That this infinite eternall good being must be of infinite power to continue infinitely That this infinite power must also bee of infinite understanding to support and preserve this eternall infintie good beeing and this infinite understanding is God Where there is an infinite understanding there must also be an infinite object to be understood els could it not be insinitely active and so should both eternity and infinitie suffer diminution and become defective which were for them both to be and not to be which is impossible and seeing there can be no object infinite out of God therefore this eternall infinite and ever-blessed object must of necessity be God Where there is an infinite understanding and an infinite object to be understood there cannot choose but be an infinite and eternall love for from this infinite Understanding of this infinitely amiable and for ever blessed object there must needs proceed an infinite delight whereby it infinitely injoyeth its own excellency and eternally reflecteth on the beauty of its own perfection els this infinite eternall understanding should want power to enjoy this infinitely aimiable object and so should be neither good infinite nor eternall and this infinite and eternall love is God Now because this Understanding Object and Love are all infinite and that whatsoever is infinite must of necessity be God it will from thence truly and undoubtedly follow that this understanding is God this Object God and this Love God And because it is as equally impossible that there can be any more than one infinite therefore it will as assuredly follow that these three are one three in Existence one in Essence three in Order one in Eternity three persons one eternall infinite glorious incomprehensible wise God to whom be glory for ever Amen This is that blessed Father Son and Holy Spirit that ineffable most mysterious Trinity in Unity eternally injoying blessedness in its own Essence This is that blessed inter-union of that ever blessed Spirit that most unspeakable immutable incomprehensible fruition of eternall joy at which the blessed Angells stand amazed in which the blessed Saints shall sweetly rest themselves for ever All this and infinitely more than this thou art Lord in thy self thy Wisdom Justice Mercy Truth Power Holiness and whatsoever other Attributes thou art pleas'd to take unto thy Divine Essence are unto thee one although unto us divers and thou art therefore pleased diversly to manifest thy self unto us because we cannot otherwise conceive thy being than according to thine outward working thy distinct operations are unto us the divers Indications of thine eternall undivided and for ever blessed essence And now Lord who can see thee thus and live I have hitherto seen nothing but destruction to my body amazement to my soul In thine Essence there is light inaccessible unto which no mortall eye can approach in thine attributes terror unutterable from which no mortall man can escape Thy wisdom trying my corrupt heart and scoarching my sinfull reines Thy Justice most severe fearfull in the pronunciation dreadfull in the execution Thy truth admitteth of no alteration no Judgement pronounced but precisely fullfilled Heaven and Earth shall pass away but not one tittle of thy sacred word Thy Holiness is such that even the blessed Angells are impute in thy sight what then shall become of me a miserable wretch the thoughts of whose heart are only evill and that continually were it not for thy rich mercy I were lost for ever by this alone I am for ever reconcilâ—d unto thee and shall eternally be blessed with thee I can here with joy unspeakable and glorious behold thee my loving Father affectionately imbracing me in Christ from all eternity by the sweet working of thy holy Spirit this is that truly-blessed vision of the sacred and mysterious Trinity in this life of Grace that will for ever make me truly happy in that of Glory Lord if I find thee not Three in One to my soul's comfort in this life I shall never be found of thee to be blessed in thee in that to come Without thy Power it had not been decreed without thy Wisdom it had never been acted without thy Love it had never been sinished Here in a severe Judge I joyfully behold a mercifull Redeemer In a glorious Divinity a true Humanity united to the Deity not mixed with it Before I had three Persons in one Essence here I have two Natures in one Person God and Man one Christ in whom and by whom I have a joyfull interest and undoubted union in the Godhead Here is the Father promising the Son performing the Holy Spirit confirming This is alone that blessed sight of God that bringeth rest and quietness to my weary soul To know him to be my God to have suffered for my sin and risen again for my Justification To find him supporting sustaining me in my infirmaties relieving my wants chastising my errors revenging my wrongs repairing my breaches directing my wayes protecting my person wounding rending breaking my obdurate heart creating in me a clean heart and renewing a right Spirit within me bemoaning bewailing mine iniquities inviting nay compelling me to mercy and forgiveness Seeing now O my Soul that Gods being in himself is incomprehensible and his Love in Christ unutterable with what Filial fear shouldst thou think of him with what awfulness name him with what reverence and preparedness pray unto him with what heat of affection love him with what carefulness and conscience fear to offend him with what cheerfulness and holy diligence devote thy service to him Blessed Lord Seeing that I am utterly unable of my self to comprehend thee O let me be graciously comprehended of thee that corruption may be swallowed up of immortality and humane frailty of eternall glory As thou hast given me an understanding in part to know thee so give me also affections intirely to love thee and fixed
therefore for if thy faith be weak yet it is living if it be languishing it will assuredly recover more strength if there be blossomes now there will be fruit hereafter these happy beginnings will have gratious proceedings blessed câ—dings Consider what thy God hath promised by his holy Prophet I will not break the bruised reed nor quench the smoking flax Isay 42.3 Let not the smarting therefore of thy conscience trouble thee remember who it is that searcheth it I have wounded thee saith God and I will heal thee I have broken thee and I will bind thee up Thou art therefore wounded that thou mayst be healed thou art therefore broken that thou mayst be bound up That sore which is insensible is ever most dangerous and that wound which smarteth most is most capable of remedy Blessed Lord I now feel to mine unspeakable comfort that thou hast wounded me with the terrours of thy Law that thou mayst heal me with the comforts of thy Gospell that I am therefore bruised with the burden of my sins that I may be ever eased by the merits of my Saviours sufferings all my imperfections are his all his righteousness is mine I may boldly chalenge it thou wilt not deny it I may safely plead it thou canst not refuse it Consider yet further O my Soul what thy blessed Saviour saith unto thee I am the resurrection and the life he that believeth in me though he were dead yet shall be live and whosever liveth and believeth in me shall never dye Ioh. 11.25 26. How canst thou doubt now O my Soul when thy Saviour biddeth thee believe and live what canst thou fear when thou hast his promise for thy safety Heaven and Earth shall pass away but not one tittle of his Word shall fail Let not the number of thy sins affright thee for it is his bloud which clenseth us from all iniquity 1 Ioh. 1.7 9. Let not the nature of thy sins amaze thee for though they were red as scarlet yet he will make them white as snow Let not the long continuance of them stagger thee for At what time soever a sinner doth repent him of his sins from the bottome of his heart I will blot them out of my remembrance saith the Lord Ezech. 18. Thy Coâ—â—cience shall not trouble thee for Being justified by faith we have peace with God Rom. 5.1 The Devill cannot hurt thee for Who shall lay any thing to the charge of Gods elect it is God that justifieth who is he that condemneth it is Christ that died yea rather that is risen again who is even at the right hand of God who allso maketh intercession for us Rom. 8.32 33. Nay which is the sum of all God himself in Iustice cannot condemn thee for There is no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit Rom. 8.1 his lustice is satisfied his Mercy magnified his Name be for ever glorified Lord let this teach me to rely with comfort on thy blessed promises and to walk worchy of them in my religious performances to manifest my increase of grace by my increase of goodness to fix my heart wholly upon thee to love thee to fear thee to honour thee and assuredly to rest in thee when thy grace shall enable me to delight in thy fear my sins can never perswade me to despair of thy favour my peace will be then inviolable my joy unutterable my happiness unalterable Blessed Lord God When I consider of the wretchedness of mine own corruptions in nature I am even ready to despair of thy love But when I look upon the blessedness of my condition in Christ I am then encouraged to sue to thee for mercy and forgiveness Allthough thy justice be severe against ane as I am a grievous sinner yet thy mercy is most sweet unto me in my Saviour I now tremble at thy judgements yet I rejoyce in thy promises allthough thy Law speak never so terribly thy curses be never so many thy plagues be never so grievous thy wrath never so tempestuous yet in the sweet mercy of my Saviour I am able to abide them all O Lord my God I abhor my self I accuse my self I condemn my self I am now ready with thy wrath to seize upon my sinfull soul and cast it down to everlasting misery Lord unto thee onely I appeal for mercy and forgiveness sweet Jesus accept of me and interpose thy blessed merits for me inrich my soul with thy sufferings be ever present with me and eternall comfort to me O holy and for ever blesssed Spirit thou that sanclifiest the souls of thine Elect assist and strengthen me quicken and revive my drooping saith increase my hope cherish my love foment those dying sparks by the sweet breathings of thy blessed Spirit that they may zealously break forth into a pure and fervent flame of holy affections to thy great glory and mine own eternall happiness Amen CHAP. 30. Upon the great Neglect of the duty of Prayer Lord WHen I serionsly consider how manifold and great my failings are when I think of the shortness and uncertainty of life of the solemnity of death of the eternity of happiness or misery after death and by all these of the necessity usefulness and excellency of Prayer I may well wonder that I am ever from my knees My life is all sin and had therefore need to be all sorrow the greatness and continuance of my sins have added to the greatness and continuance of my misery and there is none but thou O Lord that can relieve me there is no coming to thee but by Prayer and no Prayer powerfull with thee but that which is fervent This is â—hat eye of my affection that woundeth the heart of thy compassion this is that holy violence that taketh Heaven by force that surpriseth thy Mercy that manicles thy Justice that wrestles with thy Love and will not let thee goe without a blessing This is my strong armour to defend me my daily food to sustein me my safe repose to refresh me my sweet content for ever to delight me Blessed Lord how wonderfull is thy desire to man how graciously doest thou provide for him how daily art thou mindfull of him Thy words instruct me thy promises allure me thy graces sustein me thy sacraments strengthen me thy visits comfort me thy embraces ravish me And as if all this were not yet enough to manifest thy favour towards me so unspeakable is thy love so earnest thy desires unto me that thou hast even given me thy self to be overcome by me Lord thou art all love when I strive with thee for mercy I overcome thee by thy self how great is thy goodness how tender are thy mercies unto man for whose sake thou contendest even with thine own Essence Thou hast given thy Son to die for me and in him thy self to be overcome by me Lord let this teach me to renew my acquaintance often with thee to
resolutions to adhere unto thee that as thou art truly and eternally one in thine Essence and yet distinctly three in thy Persons so I may be truly and entirely one in my obedience although distinctly three in my faculties that all may be but one and that a pleasing sacrifice of praises unto thee of profit unto others of comfort to my self Forgive my misconceivings of thy sacred Essence my rash approaches to thy heavenly presence my cold careless irreligious thoughts distracted words undesent actions Lord I am sailing on the stormy sea of ignorance and misery O be thou my sure Pilot to direct me my sweet calm to refresh me my safe harbour to receive me for of thee and through thee and to thee are all things to thee be glory for ever Amen CHAP. 2. Upon the consideration of Gods Love and mans Unthankfulness A Meditation suited to the Morning Blessed God WHen I consider of the richness of the largeness of the constancy of thy love to man of mans vileness and untowardness unto thee his God I stand amazed at thy goodness and mine own unthankfulness How great and invaluable a blessinge do I enjoy in being made partaker of the glorious light of this present day how vile and unworthy am I that receive it how great and glorious art thou that givest it Thou O Lord art light inaccessible unto which no mortall eye can approach before whose glorious Majesty the blessed Angels stand amazed and I am dust and ashes yea worse Lord for dust was thy creation and therefore in its entity was good before I was dust I was not at all This not being by thee became a being this being beautifull this beauty immortall and without thee this happy being is again become far worse than not to be What can be more vain more empty than nothing ah wo is me I am now become far worse than nothing thou madst me all goodness and that goodness might have made me all blessedness but I have made my self all sin and this sin hath made me all misery there was darkness in not being but that darkness was incapable there is greater darkness in being ill for this darkness is most capable of the privation of all light of comfort in this life of the fruition of the blackness of darkness in hell for ever This Lord was my condition in nature and without thy gracious help must have been so for ever Let me now see what my condition is by Grace by which I enjoy not only the light of nature without which my life would prove uncomfortable but allso a sweet and safe assurance that thou wilt by this happy light conduct me safely to the blessed light of Glory Blessed Lord I can now look no way but to happiness I now find a true sweetness and composedness of soul a constant and courageous setledness of heart even in the very heighth of all the disturbances of Nature of all the inundations of Sin of all the fluctuations of Sorrow of all the Machinations of Satan from the sweet fountain of thy mercy arise those pretious streames of Consolation which aboundantly relieve mee in this barren wilderness I find indeed a law in my members continually rebelling against the law of my mind but I find also thy grace to bee sufficient for mee by which I am victorious here and shall be triumphant hereafter Satan may strive to winnow mee like wheat but this shall make mee the purer for thy Granary I now find a totall and a blessed change of the whole man mine affections which formerly were captivated unto sin intirely devoted to thy service my love with holy David wonderfull to thy law my hatred perfect against sin my desire eager for thy presence my fear astonishing in thine absence my delight in thy promises ravishing my joy in thy performances triumphing By these rich indowments of thine I am wrapt up above the reach of humane misery all vain and empty desires of the besotting pleasures of this life appear truly as they are but thornes and bryars to disturb the growth of my felicity how sweet is their loss for thy gain how easily how willingly how joyfully how thankfully are all these foggy mists of ignorance and error happily disperst by the bright rayes of my ensuing glory Beside these fawning enemies of Peace which flatter to unquietness I am now able to incounter with those other which affright the soul even in their first appearance and are able to deject the carnall man even to astonishment and utterly to expose him to the tyranny of sin and torture of punishment such Lord is the vast difference between the blessed ones of thy fold and those unhappy ones which stray from thee into the strange pastures of impiety No sorrow can surprize mee but for sin and even this too thou makest to increase my joy what affliction can be evil which is thy physick who art the fountain of all good if it be grievous in the tast it is joyous in the effects If I mark the happy close I must with joy confess that these bitter storms wil end in blessed calms will bring to my remembrance those grievous sinns that brought my Saviour to those bitter groanes will force mee from the sorrowes of this life to my Celestiall harbour will bring mee on my knees to see mine own vildness will inrich mee with the graces of humilitie and patience and together with them the sweet injoyments of thy blessed Spirit and if so how can I complain of want when in stead of earth I enjoy heaven Lord what can he fear that is assured of thy favour afflictions tribulations crosses sinns Satan Death hell it self shall work to mine advantage as my cross is more grievous my crown shall be more glorious where sin and Satan have been most prevailing there Grace and Goodness shall be more triumphing How truly sweet Lord is the inviolable peace of thy saints who powerfully compellest even the very rage of earth and hell to work to their advantage Lord sanctifie the trialls of this life unto my sinfull soul that by my patient sufferings with my Saviour here I may have peace with him and by him hereafter I have hitherto looked on mine inward happiness if I now cast mine eyes upon mine outward I shall there see that all these outward blessings allso are most peculiarly belonging to the Saints the wicked ones of the world are robbers and shall one day give an account of their theft children friends strangers even our very enemies are protected preserved inriched blessed for our sakes so was Joseph and his brethren for Jacob Zoar for Lot Potipher for Joseph the Centurion and souldiers for St Paul And if thou Lord wilt look so lovingly upon the children of this world for thine elect sake how gratiously wilt thou one day look upon those sonnes that shall be made partakers of thine own inheritance Who would not now bee holy seeing that in this blessed condition there is
towards me I am much grieved at the coldness and the carelesness of my affections towards thine each object of charity is an opportunity of mercy If I neglect it I am unkind to thee my Saviour cruel to my neigbour injurious to mine own soul I am not â—ord but Steward of thine outward blessings and it were now just with thee to call me to a strict account If any of thy Saints suffer which thou sendest unto me for relief their sufferings thou wilt surely require at my hands as each cup of cold water which I have given in thy name shall not lose its reward so each farthing which I ow unto thee in thy members will assuredly require its everlasting punishment I have been too carefully solicitous for the things of this life too caresly negligent of the treasures in that to come I have had many wayes to deprive my self of my present comfort of my future happiness when my talent hath been large I have had no leisure when little no ability to works of mercy The present necessities of thy Saints have been daily neglested upon the false pretence of future opportunities and those future opportunities again put off by the dilatory plea of mine own present necessities Thus have I long kept my self in a circulation of self-couzenage and have so lived here as if I were never to go hence and were utterly ignorant for what cause I came hither From whence is this my great neglect of charity towards my brethren but from my greater want of love to thee my God and from whence my disobedience to thy precepts but from mine unbelief of thy promises Thou biddest me Give and hast promised it shall be given unto me good measure shaken together pressed down and running over Luke 6.38 Thou commandest me not to be weary in well doing and hast promised that in due time I shall reap if I faint noâ— Ephes 6.9 If I did beleeve the one I should gladly perform the other and whose word shall I take Lord if I dare to question thine All thy blessed promises are Yea and Amen the begining sweet the end certain as thou hast a bottle for my tears and a bag for my transgressions so thou hast allso a book for mine Alms-deeds Acts 10.4 Not one of them shall be forgotten but even the very least of them shall be â—raciously accepted gloriously rewarded not for my work sake but for thy promise sake no for mine own sake but for my Saviours sake Lord I can merit nothing at thy hands but by thine own mercy And now Lord let me examine What I have gained by my want of charity I have exchanged Heaven to enjoy earth I have parted with thee my Saviour in whom are all the treasures that are true and crernall for the very basest part of earth which is vain and uncertain I have lost those blessed opportunities of doing good which can never be recalled and together with them those rewards of thine which shall never be enjoyed I have offended thee my God grieved thy Saints burdened mine own conscience and been an utter enemy to mine own salvation As my affections have been frozen towards others so have I justly found the gifts and graces of thy holy Spirit decaying daily in mine own soul my love cold to thy law mine ears deaf to thy precepts my mouth dumb to thy praises my faith dead to thy promises my hope fainting my zeal languishing my joy perishing These are the sad and sure effects of want of charity the beginning sinfull the progress dangerous the end desperate Lord if those heavenly spirits whose very names import their ardency of love to thy glory are yet found cold enough in thy sight with what horror and confusion of face will those wretched souls appear before thee who have not been so much as lukewarm in thy service By thy grace Lord I will therefore henceforth make a godly improvement of all future opportunities of doing good wharsoever thine allowance is unto me of these outward blessings I will dedicate some due proportion of it unto works of mercy and cheerfully and thankfully trust thee my God with the sustentation of my body upon whose blessed protection I safely relie for the eternall preservation of my soul my heart my hand my tongue mine actions shall be allwaies ready to relieve the necessities to promote the good of thy children and as this happy resolution hath had its beginning from thy grace so shall its aim be wholly at thy glory Blessed Lord Such is thy gratious goodnesse unto thine that thou even preventest them with thy blessings while they call upon thee thou art ready to answer and before they speak unto thee thou art willing to hear Lord I am thy child and am therefore bold to crave a blessing of thee and what is now more suitable to my necessities than the sweet infusion of thy holy Spirit for I now find to my grief of heart that the forein heat of the pleasures and profits of this life have extracted from me the inward heat of my desires and longings for thy blessed presence the adventitious heat of the love of this world hath quite consumed in me the naturall heat of my zeal to thy kingdom Lord kindle in me those decaying sparks of thy grace that they may now grow up into a bright flame of fervent affections to thy glory and thy childrens good Teach me to know that godlinesse is great gain and that the truest treasures are those which are layd up with thee in thy Kingdom Lord pardon my neglects of holy duties forgive my deadnesse and my dulnesse unto works of mercy repair my sinfull breaches by thy present graces O let the fervour of my future charity become a pleasing sacrifise to expiate my former misery to reconcile my soul in Christ to endless mercy Amen CHAP. 37. Upon the deceitfulness of the heart in the performance of holy duties NOthing is more common amongst Christians than to be deluded by the shew of holy actions the heart of man is deceitfull above all things who can know it holy performances are usually accompanied with hellish temptations when the Ship of our soules is under sail and hath the freshest way for heaven we have then most need to look to our steerage to have an eye to the compass and land-marks Which of our holy duties which are the ships we sayl in to the port of happiness have not their rocks to split upon or Remoraes to hinder them or cross winds to divert them or leaks to sink them or seas to overwhelm them when we arrive at any small measure of goodness we many times rest in it and grow secure upon it if grace carry us on farther we are too apt to beleeve that we are far better than our neighbours that we are highly in Gods favour and cannot but deserve his fatherly protection his liberall remuneration and so by this secret insinuation of pride in our hearts wee have
that as our sins have provoked thee to anger so our tears may move thee to compassion that thy mercy may be magnified our miseries relieved our sorrows comforted O let not these bitter aggravations of thy judgements extort from us the least measure of impatience nor beget in us the least degree of distrust let us neither complain of thy justice nor despair of thy mercy but quietly and thankfully rely upon thee and in thy blessed hour enjoy a sweet inlargement by thee Lord pity the forlorn condition of thy sons and daughters in affliction repair their outward losses by thine inward graces that what is wanting to them of these earthly comforts may be abundantly supplied in thy heavenly joyes Forgive the great disturbers of the peace of this thy Sion Lord open their eyes that they may see how much they have erred from thy waies Lord sanctifie their hearts that they may speedily return unto thee and be for ever gratiously accepted of thee O that thou wouldst give us one heart and one voyce that we might serve thee without ceasing that we may be all truly humbled before thee and truly joyfull in thee Restore me for thy rich mercy sake unto that blessed union of Love which is the bond of Peace that as thou our God art one so thy distressed Church may be one thy divided people one their wishes and desires their prayers and tears their actions and endeavours one for thy glory the Churches safety and the Nations happiness That we may have peace with thee our God peace with our enemies peace with our own souls and everlasting peace with thee in thy Kingdome Amen A comfortable PRAYER to bee used at the point of death by the Visitors of the Sick O Eternall Almighty most mercifull and for ever blessed Lord God of Heaven and Earth wee thy poor and most unworthy creatures miserable and distressed sinners in all humility of heart and dejectedness of spirit are here prostrate before thee Lord we confesse that we are utterly unworthy to approach thy glorious presence Blessed God we are confounded and ashamed to lift up our sinfull eyes unto thee whose gracious goodnesse we have so much neglected whose patience and long-suffering so long abused whose anger and indignation so justly provoked whose wrath and fury so wretchedly deserved Lord we are heavy laden with the burden of our sinnes and thou alone art able to relieve us to thee therefore we addresse our sinfull souls for mercy and forgivenesse O thou that art the blessed Shepheard of our erring soules that camest into the World to seek and to save those that are lost have mercy upon us O thou that hast espoused us unto thy self and hast given us thy love have mercy upon us O thou that callest us to come unto thee and embracest us when we are come receive our prayers Lord give us prepared hearts to meet thee in this holy duty Quicken our benummed soules with holy fervencie that our devotions may ascend unto thy gracious presence Lord thou hast promised to be near unto all those which call upon thee with sincerity and faithfulnesse of heart for thy blessed promise sake we most humbly beseech thee let our humiliations be comfortable our prayers acceptable In full assurance of the sweetnesse of thy mercy towards us wee are now bold to become Petitioners unto thee for this thy sick servant whose life is drawing near unto the grave Blessâ—d Lord God it is thou that killest and makest alive that bringest down to hell and raisest up again we most meekly beseech thee therefore for thy rich and tender love sake to thine Elect to mitigate that bitter curse which thou hast layd upon us all in Adam Lord look upon his affliction and his travail and forgive him all his sinnes give him sure patience to endure with meekness whatsoever thou art pleased to inflict upon him Lord lay no more upon his feeble body than thou shalt make him able for to bear impose no more upon his wounded spirit than thou in mercy shalt support him under Forsake him not O Lord our God be not thou far from him let him remember that this chastisement of thine is common to thy dearest children that thou hidest thy face from him but for a small moment but with everlasting kindnesse thou wilt have mercy on him Lord settle and compose his thoughts for thy Kingdom let no disturbance of this life distract those blessed meditations which invite the weary soul to rest and quietnesse let him now see and joyfully beleeve that thou wilt order all these outward things to thine own glory and the good of those that have relation to him let him freely forgive all injuries on earth and heartily desire to meet his greatest enemies in heaven O let his soul be now transported with the sweetnesse of thy love and favour towards him Lord qualifie this bitter potion which thy holy providence hath alotted to him let him now remember that the sufferings of this present life are not worthy of that glory which shall be suddainly revealed in him and when the outward man is drawing nearest to its dissolution Lord Jesus strengthen and rejoyce the inward man with comfort and assured confidence of thy salvation To this end O Lord we most humbly beseech thee to illuminate his understanding that he may see the sadnesse of his own condition in himself that â—he may deny and utterly abhor himself that he may disclame all sinfull confidence in his own actions and endeavours and wholly cast himself upon the righteousnesse of him in whom alone thy wrath is fully satisfied Lord give him a serious and a true remorse of conscience for his many and his great offences Lord Jesus grant that they may not now appear unto the terror and amazement of his sinfull soul O let him now remember that it is thy precious blood which purgeth him from all iniquitie that thou O blessed Saviour art become unto him righteousnesse and holinesse and sanctification and redemption Lord comfort and assist him in this last and greatest tryall of his faith And because the sensible decay of his infirm body and the violent disturbance of his sicknesse will not suffer him to call upon thee with digestednesse of mind and quietnesse of spirit we therefore humbly pray thee to sustein and comfort him even in his greatest weaknesse and extremity Blessed God let the sorrowfull sighing of thy sick prisoner now come before thee O let thy blessed Spirit which is in him put up humble supplications to the Father for him O satisfie him with thy mercy and that soon Let those happy sighs and groans which cannot be expressed become a pleasing sacrifise of thankfulnesse to thee and a sweet savour of eternall rest to his departing soul O thou that art the God of power protect him from the fury of that roaring Lion who is now seeking to devour him O thou that art the blessed Saviour of the sinfull world compassionate his
long patience in thy great goodnesse in thy rich mercies in thy fatherly affections towards me I am wofully sunk into the deep mire of sin where no stay is Lord uphold me by thy grace that I perish not eternally O deliver me for thy mercy sake for I am helplesse and poor and my heart is wounded within me Let my soul live and it shall praise thee and thy judgements shall help me As thou hast raised me by thy power so rule me by thy providence that thy grace may be far sweeter with my sufferings than my pleasure with my sins Restrain my loose desires renew my good purposes assist my weak endeavours correct mine errours sustain my infirmities give me a godly sorrow for my sins a thankfull heart for thy favours a filiall fear of thy judgements a sincere love to thy laws an holy constancy and happy perseverance to my lives end Amen CHAP. 13. Upon the great danger of Presumption ALass my Soul how vain art thou how wretched to presume upon the mercy of thy God how canst thou be so foolish to believe that God will favour thee in that which he so severely punished in his own Son thinkest thou that pretious bloud was spilt to cherish sin Be not mistaken for as Christ Iesus came into the world to save sinners so he came allso to call sinners to repentance Doest thou argue well to say because God is mercifull long-suffering and of great goodnesse therefore I will abuse his mercy in sinning his patience by my long continuing in sin his great goodnesse by my great unthankfulnesse is not this to mock his mercy to bid defiance to his justice to arm him with fury to invite him to revenge Assure thy self the longer he is in drawing his Bow the more forcible will he send his Arrow Deceive not thy self therefore God will not be so mercifull to thee as to be unjust to himself All the waies of God are Mercy and Truth Mercy to support thy weaknesse Truth to correct thy wilfulnesse There is therefore Mercy with him that he may be feared not that he may be slighted not that he may be shamefully dishonoured How full of falshood is thy bold presumption thou criest Peace Peace when sudden War is ready to destroy thee There is no peace to the wicked saith my God Heaven and Earth are up in Arms against thee and there is none left not so much as thine own Conscience to deliver thee Thou hast gratiously received the knowledge of the truth thou hast grievously sinned against the light of that knowledge thou hast wofully continuâ—d in thy sins without remorse of conscience without desire of repentance and there now remaineth no more sacrifice for sin but a searfull looking for of judgement and violent fire that shall devour the Adversaries O remember that the Angels for one sin were thrown down from Heaven and that Adam for one sin was cast out of Paradise Thy sins O my Soul are innumerable thou hast had line upon line and precept upon precept and yet thou addest sin upon sin and transgression upon transgression Thou hast sinned against many pretious promises against many gratious performances against many fearfull judgements thou hast grieved that good Spirit by which the Saints are sealed up unto the day of redemption All these are heavy aggravations upon thee to fill up the measure of thy sins and hasten the swiftnesse of thy punishments Ah how sad is thy condition thou hast not onely wearied out thy self in wickednesse but thy God allso hear what he faith unto thee how he complaineth of thee by his holy Prophet Behold I am pressed under you as a cart is laden with sheaves Amos 2.13 and yet thou still addest more load but as thou addest sin upon sin so thou callest for wrath upon wrath as thou hast made a mock at sin so God will make a mock at misery as thou hast thy measure in sinning so God will have his measure in punishing Consider what he saith unto thee by his Prophet Judgement will I lay to the rule and Righteousnesse to the ballance Esay 28.17 18. As he hath a bottle for thy tears so he hath a bag for thy transgressions Job 14.17 their growth is recorded their number accounted their nature examined all sealed up against the great and fearfull day of the revelation of the righteous judgement O consider this thou that forgettest God lest he tear thee in pieces and there be none to deliver thee Think how suddenly thou mayst be snatcht away by those infernall Fiends to endlesse torments and then what tears will be enough to weep thine obsequies to quench those everlasting burnings But then alass instead of tears of compassion thou shalt have mocks of derision the cursed Devils will laugh thee to scorn the blessed Saints and Angels will rejoyce at thy confusion and God himself who onely can relieve thee will for ever hide his tender mercy from thee Awake therefore out of thy sleep of death look well into thy lost estate thou art now near unto making up the measure of thy sins beyond which thou canst not passe Thy God hath said to thee as to the Sea hitherto malt thou goe and here shalt thou stay thy proud waves Think how suddenly thou mayest be called to thy last account even this very hour for ought thou knowest those cursed Spirits may convey thee to thy fiery Prison O think how powerfully the wrath of God will then seize upon thee how wofully thou wilt excrutiate thy self with apprehension of thy former folly and last of all how wretchedly thou art forever banisht from eternall joyes to suffer with the damned in eternall torments Lâ—t this move thee to amend thy wicked wayes to cry mightily to God for mercy to judge thy self to condemn thy self that thou mayst not be judged of the Lord to Kiss the Son lest he be angry and so thou perish from the right way If his wrath be kindled yea but a little blessed are all they that put their trust in him Turn therefore unto the Lord thy God O my soul for he is gracious and merciful slow to anger and of great kindness and repenteth him of the evil Blessed Lord As an unfeigned sign of my repentance in anguish of heart and bitterness of soul I earnestly desire to search into the secreets of my sinfull thoughts to unbosom all my sins and lay them open to the view of all thy Saints that thou mayst have the glory they the good and I the shame of my confession that so this penitent sense of mine iniquities which I thankfully acknowledge cometh alone from thee may be an evidence unto me that thou wilt also give me pardon for them Lord I willingly confess my self to be a great and grievous sinner mine original defiled my birth polluted mine infancy stained my youth insnared my manhood corrupted mine age besotted Mine imaginations vain my thoughts sinfull my words wicked mine actions abhominable my
with this subject thou hast just cause to suspect thy loving to fear thy enjoying it for Where thy treasure is there will thy heart be also If thou livest the life of Pleasure thou art so much worse than a beast by how much thou oughtest by reason to be better if of Action thou art so much nearer to happiness as reason is beyond sense and yet so much farther off as Grace is beyond Nature if the happy life of heavenly Meditation thou art so far above vanity as heaven is above earth as immotality above nature as glory above corruption O how sweet are those thoughts which lead me to Eternity which raise my soul above the reach of humane misery that can support me under all the heavy pressures of sin under all the grievous burdens of sorrow under all the sharp assaults of Satan that 〈◊〉 make me merry in life and triumphant in death Nothing can more truly represent me to my self and inform me that I am all earthly than the dullness and backwardness of my thoughts to be heavenly Who can ever hope to be an inhabitant of that City whose language hee cannot speak Lord when my thoughts are more zealously affected with thy heavenly joys I shall then hope to be more frequently acquainted with thy heavenly visits by my careless neglect of the one I am now justly deprived of the sweet enjoyments of the other while I am wedded to this wretched world my thoughts must needs favour of corruption But if thou Lord wilt once open mine eyes to see the glorious beauty of my heavenly home I shall then know and joyfully confesse that one hour thus spent will adde more comfort to my fool more true content to my desires than all these outward blessings and I shall then account and joyfully confess with thy Apostle that all things are but loss and dung in compare of the richness of thy love in Christ Jesus For thou O blessed Saviour art the blessed Fountain of eternall happiness the joy of my heart the triumph of my joy the comfort of my life the safety of my body the rest of my soul without thee I am far worse than nothing and with thee I enjoy all things for thou art in the Father and I in thee and thou in me and in this happy union is contained that fruition is enjoyed that for ever-blessed vision in which the souls and bodies of thy Saints eternally delight themselves O thou soveraign of my soules eternall comfort how unworthy am I to enjoy thee that have been hitherto so much unâ—indfull of thee how undeserving to behold thee in thy glory that am so daily guilty of thy great dishonour Lord raise my thoughts to immortality and fix my soul upon the love of sweet eternity let my chiefest joy be ever to contemplate thee who art my chiefest good Pardon those wretched hours that have been lost in search of outward happiness O make me to redeem them by abandoning the creature and placing mine affections wholly on the beauty of the great Creatour expatiate my sinfull soul with daily meditations of my future joyes that I may love thee more fervently fear thee more dutifully desire thee more earnestly long for thee more heartily embrace thee more faithfully and think of thee more joyfully to my lives end Amen CHAP. 33. Upon unchristianlike Dejectedness in Poverty WHY doe I excruciate my soul with apprehension of a seeming evill how unworthy am I of this life which I hold from that God whom I dare not trust will God feed me with the delicates of heaven and not give me bread will he give me full draughts of the rivers of his eternall pleasures and not afford me temporall refreshments shall my death be precious in his eyes and my life uncomfortable in mine own can there be any evill and the Lord hath not done it shall he doe it and shall I complain if poverty be evill in it self yet it is good for me the evill of sin hath drawn upon me this evill of punishment so this evill is from nature and the good from grace By this affliction I am weaned from the world and made desirous of my heavenly home I am now put in mind that my treasure being there my heart should be there allso I am now fully assured by my patience and humility under this affliction and by the quiet fruits of righteousness it daily bringeth forth in me that I am Gods child that as I am now made partaker of my Saviours sufferings so I shall be hereafter of his glory that I part with earthly contentments to enjoy heavenly comforts Lord when thou lendest me thy staff of consolation I shall be well able to endure thy rod of affliction all though my body be worse I shall then find my soul to be much better my present condition happy my future blessed In what estate soever I am I will think that best because thou Lord hast put me there if my calling be low my account will be the less if I discharge this faithfully I shall not lose my reward Thou O Lord lookest not upon my greatness but my goodness my faithfulness in thy service A pin in thy materiall Temple was as usefull as a stone if I be any thing in thy spirituall it is enough yet let me not content my self with easiness and indifferency in heavenly blessings but labour to supply mine outward wants by inward graces so shall this earthly bitterness be turned into spirituall sweetness and eternall blessedness Thou O Lord hast alotted me my portion in this life most agreeable to thy Divine Wisdome most suitable to my frail condition and why take I then thought for to morrow sufficient unto the day is the evill thereof Thou allowest me lawfull means for increasing of it thou forbiddest me repining thoughts to distrust thee in it Lord let me first seek thy Kingdome and the righteousness thereof and then I know assuredly that all things needfull for me shall be added to me O thou blessed Saviour of the world who for my sake wert willing to endure the scornfull poverty of this life to purchase my redemption teach me by thine example and for thy sake to undervalue all the glorious pomps of these enticing vanities that though my body be despised by the world my sinfull soul may be accepted with thee and both soul and body may eternally be happy where thou art Lord by how much by thy great sufferings thou wert made the vilder for me by so much by thy rich mercy let thy love be ever dearer to me O give me graces suitable to all events let not prosperity puff me up nor adversity too much deject me but for thy mercy sake let happiness in Christ be all in all unto me make me humble in the one patient in the other thankfull in either bappy in both Grant Lord that no ungodly care or sinfull sorrow may disturb me but that I may with willingness and thankfulness and
thee Lord as this holy motion came from thy heavenly Spirit so enable me to the performance of it by thy grace to thy glory and my soules eternall comfort I vow my self a serious and professed enemy to all ungodlinesse no sinfull thought shall surprise me without a sorrowfull sigh no ungracious word pass me without a sudden retractation and devout confession no wicked action defile me without a sincere and godly humiliation unto each measure of sin I will allow a due measure of sorrow those sins that have been reigning over me shall at set houres be constantly revenged by me and as my body hath been a deep sharer in my sinnes so it shall allso be a dayly sharer in my sufferings I will at set seasons deny my self somewhat of these outward enjoyments which thou Lord in mercy hast allowed me as a true sign of my true sorrow for that sinfull excess which I have too often taken without thine allowance Those sinfull houres which have been vainly lost in idlenesse and emptinesse shall be willingly redeemed in a constant observation of religious duties no day shall passe me without a solemn and devout task of devotion no hour without some sweet ejaculation And when at any time the troubles and disturbances of this frail life shall deny me happy opportunities for these heavenly performances what is wanting in act shall be made up in desire which thou Lord I trust wi lt graciously accept and look upon as done because faithfully intended O thou infinitely wise and for ever blessed being that art truly and eternally happy without the sinfull service of thy creature and yet commandest us to serve thee for our own sakes that we allso may be happy in thee thou that lovest not a false and fickle heart nor delightest in the sacrifise of fooles give me a wise and understanding heart that I may seriously consider of this sacred Vow give me a constant and religious heart that I may chearfully perform what I have faithfully promised give me a broken and a contrite heart that I may bitterly bewail what I have foolishly neglected that thy great name may be glorified my sinfull life amended my conscience quieted my spirit comforted thy Saints delighted thine Angels rejoyced and my soul and body eternally saved in the great and dreadfull day of the Lord Jesus to whom with thee O blessed Father and thine holy Spirit be all possible praise and honour and glory now and for ever Amen CHAP. 40. Upon the blessed condition of Gods Saints with motives and encouragements unto Godliness Lord To close up these imperfect lines as I began with that beauty of holinesse which thou thy self art and is essentially contained in thee so my soules desire is to end with that blessednesse which we thy Saints enjoy even in this vale of misery and is eternally derived from thee that so I may begin and end with thee who art the beginning and end of thy creature that I may lead thy servants from the pure fountain of true holinesse to the sweet streames of inward happinesse wherein we may securely bath our weary soules in rest and quietnesse untill thy gracious goodnesse shall conduct us home unto the full fruition of those joyfull rivers of thine endlesle pleasure I am no sooner entred upon this blessed search but I find my soul ravished with admiration at the greatnesse with apprehension of the goodnesse with contemplation of the freenesse of thy love and favour towards me I see thee the great and glorious God of heaven and earth from all eternity out of thine own gracious goodnesse without all possibility in me when I was not either of desiring or deserving this inestimable love of thine electing me in Christ of whom thou hadst no need from whom thou couldst receive no benefit unto holynesse and happinesse in this life and unto blefsednesse in that to come and as I find this love of thine to be purely simply admirably and eternally great so is it also truly necessarily sufficiently and permanently good If it were not truly good it could never make me truly happy if not necessarily good I might then enjoy happinesse without it if not sufficiently good my happinesse enjoyed by it could not afford me satisfaction in it if not permanently good what I enjoy in satisfaction I may want in perfection by being suddainly removed from it But thou O Lord hast graciously afforded me all these degrees of happinesse that I might be truly and eternally happy that I might be happy in thee because there is no attainining happinesse but by thee that I may be happy in soul and happy in body happy in life and happy in death happy here and happy hereafter Thou O my blessed Saviour art sweeter unto me than all sweetnesse thou art that blessed All-sufficiency by which I am both fully and for ever satisfied thou art my safe repose my inviolable peace my rich rest my safety in life my comfort in death my glory after death By thy patient sufferings I am more than conqueror of sin of sorrow of death of hell by thy glorious resurrection I have assured hope of immortality by thy blessed ascention of eternall glory by the one thou hast powerfully defended me against the rage and malice of devils by the other thou hast graciously exalted me in thy blessed union with me above the nature of Angels thy peace thou hast left with me thy peace thou hast given unto me even that blessed peace of conscience which the world cannot take from me and that eternity of peace with thee in thy Kingdom which thou Lord in thy rich mercy hast prepared for me O that I might now lose my self with contemplation of thine endlesse love that I might be ravished into extasie with apprehension of my present safety of my future glory that all my faculties of soul might be but one entire and pleasing sacrifise of thankfulnesse unto thee that as thou O my Saviour and the Father are one so I may be one with thee to magnifie thy gracious presence here and to be for ever where thou art hereafter to see thy great glory and enjoy mine own end lesse felicity From this for ever blessed fountain of eternall happiness doe plentifully flow those pleasant streams of comfort to the souls and bodies of the Saints even in this life by which they are securely quieted and joyfully contented even in the very worst of times which either mans malice or the Devils cruelty can study to inflict upon them if they receive injuries they return prayers they entertain them with a Father forgive them for they know not what they doe Luk. 23.34 and Lord lay not this sin to their charge Act. 7.60 And so while they lose outwardly they gain inwardly godliness is great gain for by patience they possess their own souls Their courage is undaunted for The righteous is hold as a Lion able to encounter the fiercest affliction ready to withstand the strongest