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A66741 Wit and drollery joviall poems / corrected and much amended, with new additions, by Sir J.M. ... Sir W.D. ... and the most refined wits of the age. Phillips, John, 1631-1706.; E. M.; J. M. 1661 (1661) Wing W3132; ESTC R38723 98,574 304

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frets Caron is glad to see poor Maudlin mad And away his boat he gets Through the Earth through the Sea through unknown iles Through the lofty skies Have I sought with sobs and cryes For my hungry mad Tom and my naked sad Tom Yet I know not whether he lives or dies My plaints makes Satyrs civil The Nimphs forget their singing The Fairies have left their gambal and their theft The plants and the trees their springing Mighty Leviathan took a Consumption Triton broke his Organ Neptune despis'd the Ocean Flouds did leave their flowing Churlish winds their blowing And all to see poor Maudlins action The Torrid Zone left burning The Deities stood a striving Despised Iove from Iuno took a glove And strook down Ran from whistling Mars for fear lay couching Apollo's cap was fir'd Poor Charles his wain was thrown into the main The nimble Post lay tir'd Saturn Damas Vulcan Venus All lay husht and drunk Hells fire through heaven was rim Fates and men remorseless Hated our grief and ho●●sness And yet not one could tell of Tom. Now whi●her shall I wander Or whi●her shall I flye The heavens do weep the earth the air the deeps Are wearied with my cry Let me up and steal the Trumpet That summons all to doom At one poor blast the Elements shall cast All creatures from her womb Dyon with his Heptune Death with destruction Stormy clouds and weather Shall call all souls together Against I find my Tomkin I le provide a Pumkin And we will both be blithe together A Song SIR Egley More that valiant Knight With his fa-la lanctre down dille He fetcht his sword and he went to fight With his fa-la and his lanctre down dille As he went over hill and dale All clothed in his coat of male With his fa-la his fa-la and his lanctre down dille● A huge great Draggon leaps out of his den With his Which had kill'd the Lord knows how many men With his But when he saw Sir Egley More Good lack had you seen how this Draggon did 〈◊〉 With his This Draggon he had on a plaguy hide With his Which could both sword and spear abide With his He could not enter with hacks and cuts VVhich vext the Knight to the heart bloud and guts VVith his All the trees in the wood did shake VVith his Stars did tremble and man did quake VVith his But had you seen how the birds lay peeping T' would have made a mans heart to a fallen a weeping VVith his c. But now it was too late to fear VVith his For now it was come to ●ight dog fight bear VVith his And as a yawning he did fall He thrust his sword in hilts and all VVith his But now as the Knight in choller did burn With his He ow'd the Dragon a shrew'd good turn With his In at his mouth his sword he bent The hilt appeared at his fundament VVith his Then the Dragon like a Coward began to fly VVith his Unto his Den that was hard by With his And there he laid him down and roar'd The Knight was vexed for his sword With his The Sword it was a right good blade With his As ever Turk or Spaniard made With his I for my part do forsake it And he that will fetch it let him take it With his c. When all this was done to the Ale-house he went With his And by and by his two pence he spent VVith his For he was so hot with tugging with the Dragon That nothing could quench him but a whole Flagon VVith his Now God preserve our King and Queen VVith his And eke in London may be seen VVith his As many Knights and as many more And all so good as Sir Eglemore VVith his c. Cupid and the Clown AS Cupid took his bow and bolt Some birding for to find He chanced on a Country Swain Which was some Yeomans hinde Clown VVell met fair boy what sport abroad It is a goodly day The birds will ●it this frosty morn You cannot chuse but s●ay Go haste why Sir your eyes be out You will not bird I trow Alas go home or else I think The birds will laugh at you Cupid VVhy man thou dost deceive thy self Or else my mother lyes VVho said although that I were blind My arrowes might have eyes Clown VVhy then thy mother is a Voole And thou art but an elfe To let thy arrowes to have eyes And go without thy self Cup. Not ●o Sir Swain but hold your peace If I do take a shaft I 'le make thee know what I can do VVith that the plough-man laught The angry Cupid drew his bow Clo. For God sake kill me not Cup. I 'le make thy Leather-head to crake Clo. Nay childe be loath of that The stinging arrow hot the mark And pierc'd the silly soul You might know by his hollow eyes VVhether love had made the hole And ●o the Clown went bleeding home To stay it was no boot And knew that he could see to hi● VVhich could not see to shoot A Song SIr Francis Sir Francis Sir Francis his son Sir Robert and eke Sir William did come And eke the good Earl of Southampton March't on his way most gallantly And then the Queen began to speak You are welcome home Sir Francis Drake Then came my Lord Chamberlain and with his white staffe And all people began for to laugh The Queens Speech Gallants all of British bloud VVhy do not ye saile on th' Ocean flood I protest ye are not all worth a Philberd Compared with Sir Humphrey Gilberd The Queens Reason For he walkt forth in a rainy day To the new-found Land he took his way With many a gallant fresh and green He never come home agen God bless the Queen A Song O Thou that sleep'st like Pig in straw Thou Lady dear Arise Arise Arise Hoping to keep thy son in awe Thy little twinkling eyes And having stretcht both leg and arme Put on thy whiter smock And for to keep thy body warm Thy Peticoat and Dock The shops were open'd long ago And youngest Prentise go ho hoes To lay at 's Mistress chamber door His masters shining shoes Arise arise why should you sleep Since you have slept enough Long since French boyes cry'd Chimny-sweep And Damsels Kitchin-stuff A Song NOne but my self my heart do keep A● I on Cowslip bed did sleep Near to a pleasant boge Where thou my pretty ●ogue With Knuckles knocking at my breast Did ask for my three-corner'd guest And whisphering said as soft as voice might be Come forth thou little rogue to me A thousand thousand fiends as black as foot With all their dirty damms to boot Take thee O take thee every day For stealing I and my poor heart away This heart of mine for joy did leap And follow'd thee even step by step Till tired at the last 't was thick and plump and round before Weighing a full pound weight and more And now it 's sunk unto the
Then room for the Speaker without his Mace And room for the rest of the Rabble-rout My masters methinks 't is a pittiful case Like the snuff of a Candle thus to go out 12. Now some like this change and some like it not Some think it was not done in due season Some think it ws but a Jesuits plot To blow up the house like a gun-powder-Treason 13. Some think that Oliver and Charles are agree'd And sure it were good policy if it were so Lest the Hollander French the Dane and the Swede Should bring him in whether he would or no. 14. And now I would gladly conclude my song VVith a prayer as Ballads are used to do But yet I 'le forbear for I think er 't be long VVe shall have a King and a Parliament too FINIS These Books following are printed for Nathanael Brook and are to be sold at his Shop at the Angel in Cornhill Excellent Tracts in Divinity Controversies Sermons Devotions 1. THe Catholick History collected and gathered out of Scripture Councils and ancient Fathers in answer to Doctor Vane's Lost sheep returned home by Edward Chesensale Esq in octavo 2. Bishop Morton on the Sacrament in fol. 3. The grand Sacriledge of the Church of Rome in taking away the sacred Cup from the Laity at the Lords-Table by D. Dan. Featly in 4. 4. Quakers cause at second hearing being a full answer to their Tenets 5. Re-assertion of Grace Vindiciae Evangelii or the Vindication of the Gospel a Reply to Mr. Anthony Burges's Vindiciae Legis and to Mr. Rutherford by Robert Towres 6. Anabaptist anatomiz'd and silenced or a Dispute with Mr. Tombs by Mr. I. Cragg where all may receive clear satisfaction A Cabinet Jewel Mans misery Gods mercy in 8. Sermons with an Appendix concerning Tithes with the expediency of marriages in publick assemblies by the same Author Mr. I. Cragg 7. A Glimpse of Divine Light being an explication of some passages exhibited to the Commissioners at White-hall for approbation of publick Preachers against I. Harrison of Land-Chappel Lancashire 8. The Zealous Magistrate a Sermon by T. Threscos quarto 9. New Jerusalem in a Sermon for the Society of Astrologers quarto in the year 1651. 10. Divinity no enemy to Astrology a Sermon for the Society of Astrologers in the year 1643. by Dr. Thomas Swadling 11. Britannia Rediviva a Sermon before the Judges Aug. 1648. by I. Shaw Minister of Hull 12. the Princess Royal in a Sermon before the Judges March 24. by I. Shaw 13. Judgment set and Books opened Religion tryed whether it be of God or man in several Sermons by I. Webster quarto 14. Israels Redemption or the prophetical History of our Saviours Kingdom on Earth by K. Matton 15. The cause and cure of Ignorance Error and Prophaneness or a more hopeful way to grace and salvation by K. Young octavo 16. A Bridle for the Times tending to still the murmuring to settle the wavering to stay the wandring and to strengthen the fainting by I. Brinsley of Yarmounth 17. Comforts against the fear of death wherein are discovered several evidences of the work of grace by I. Collins of Norwich 18. Iacobs seed or the excellency of seeking God by prayer by Ier. Burroughs 19. The summe of Practical Divinity or the grounds of Religion in a Catechistical way by Mr. Christopher Love late Minister of the Gospel an useful piece 20. Heaven Earth shaken a Treatise shewing how Kings and Princes and all other Governments are turned and changed by I. Davis Minister in Dover admirably useful and seriously to be considered in these times 21. The Treasure of the soul wherein we are taught by dying to sin to attain to the perfect love of God 22. A Treatise of Contentation fit for these sad and troublesome times by I. Hall Bishop of Norwich 23. Select Thoughts or choice helps for a pious spirit beholding the excellency of her Lord Jesus by I. Hall Bishop of Norwich 24. The holy Order or Fraternity of Mourn●r in Sion to which is added Songs in the Night or chearfulness under afflictions by I. Hall Bishop of Norwich 25. The Celestial Lamp enlightning every distressed soul from the depth of everlasting darkness by T. Fetiplace 26. The Moderate Baptist in two parts shewing the Scripture-way for the Administring of the Sacrament of Baptism discovering the old errour of Original sin in Babes by W. Brittin 27. Dr. Martin Luther's Treatise of Liberty of Christians an useful Treatise for the stating Controversies so much disputed in these times about this great point 28. The Key of Knowledge a little Book by way of Questions and Answers intended for the use of all degrees of Christians especially for the Saints of Religious families by old Mr. Iohn Iackson that famous Divine 29. The true Evangelical Temper a Treatise modestly and soberly fitted to the present grand concernments of the State and Church by old Mr. Iohn Iackson 30. The Book of Conscience opened and read by the same Author 31. The so much desired and Learned Commentary on the whole 15. Psalm by that Reverend and Eminent Divine Mr. Christopher Cartwright Minister of the Gospel in York to which is affixed a brief account of the Authors Life and Work by R. Bolton 32. The Judges Charge delivered in a Sermon before Mr. Justice Hall Serjeant Crook Judges of Assize at St. Mary Overis in Southwark by R. Parr M. A. Pastor of Camerwell in the County of Surry A Sermon worthy perusal of all such persons as endeavour to be honest and just practitioners in the Law 33. The Saints Tomb-stone being the Life of that Virtuous Gentlewoman Mrs. Dorothy Shaw late Wife of Mr. Iohn Shaw Minister of the Gospel at Kingston upon Hull Admirable and Learned Treatises of Occult Sciences in Philosophy Magick Astrology Geomancy Chymistry Physiognomy and Chiromancy 34. Magick and Astrology vindicated by H. Warren 35. Lux veritatis Judicial Astrology vindicated and Demonology cofuted by W. Ramsey Gent. 36. An Introduction to the Teutonick Philosophy being a determination of the Original of the soul by C. Hotham Fellow of Peter-House in Cambridge 37. Cornelius Agrippa his fourth Book of Occult Philosophy or Geomancy Magical Elements of Peter de Abona the nature of spirits made English by R. Turner 38. Paracelsus Occult Philosophy of the mysteries of Nature and his secret Alchimy 39. An Astrological Discourse with Mathematical Demonstrations proving the influence of the Planets and fixed Stars upon Elementary Bodies by Sir Christ. Heyden Knight 40. Merlinus Anglicus Iunior the English Merlin revived or a Prediction upon the Affairs of Christendom for the year 1644. by W. Lilly 41. Englands Prophetical Merlin foretelling to all Nations of Europe till 1663. the actions depending upon the Influences of the Conjunction of Saturn and Iupiter 1642. by W. Lilly 42. The Starry messenger or an interpretatiof that strange apparition of three Suns seen in London 19. of Nov. 1644. being the Birth-day of K. Charles by W.
keeping of sweet Sir Iarvis They gave him a Clister made his belly to bliste●● Oh there was a sweet piece of service 11. ●his freind he denied and would not abide A Marrige that so would shame us ●etween this sweet Matron this grave Patron Oh Patron of Ignoramus 12. Now Weston and Horn and Turner do turn And say that this plot was fraude These may say their pleasure some think hard measure Oh knaves and Punkes and Bawds A SONG THou Shephard whose intentive eye On every Lambe is such a spie No willy foe can make them less Where may I find my Sheaperdess A little pausing then said he How can this Jewel stay from thee ●n Summers heat in winters cold ● thought thy brest had been her folde It is indeed the constant place Wherein my thoughts still see her face And print her Image in my heart But yet my fond eyes crave a part With that he smiling said I might Of Cloaris party have a sight And some of her perfections meet In every flower that 's fresh and sweet That growing Lilly weares her skin The Violet her blew veines within The Damaske Rose now blown and spread Her sweeter cheeks her lips as red The winds that wanton with the Spring Such Odors as her breathings bring But the resemblance of her eyes Was never found beneath the skies Her charming voice who strives to fit His object must be higher yet For Heavens Earth and all we see Disperst collected is but she A maide at this discourse methoughts Love both ambition in me wrought And made me covet to ingross A wealth would prove a publick loss With that I sighth ashamed to see Such worth in her such want in mee Closing both mine eyes forbid The world my sight since she was hid A Song To the Tune of Packingtons Pound 1. MY masters and friends and good people draw near And look to your Purses for that I do say And though little mony in them you do wear It cost more to get than to lose in a day You oft have been told Both the young and the old And bidden beware of the Cut-purse so bold Then if you take heed not free me from this curse Who both give you warning for and the Cut-purse Youth youth thou hadst better been sterv'd by thy Nurse Then live to be hanged for cutting a purse 2. It hath been upbraided to men of my Trade That oft-times we are the cause of this crime Alack and for pity why should it be said As if they regarded or places or time Examples have been Of some that were seen In Westminster Hall yea the Pleaders between Then why should the Judges be free from this curse More than my poor self for cutting the purse Youth youth c. 3. At Worcester 't is known well and even i'th'Jayl A Kt. of good worth did there shew his face Against the frail sinner in rage for to rail And lost ipso facto his purse in the place Nay ev'n from the seat Of Judgment so great A Judge there did lose a fair purse of Velvet O Lord for thy mercy how wicked or worse Are those that so venture their necks for a purse Youth youth c. 4. At Playes and at Sermons and at the Sessions 'T is daily their practice such booty to make Yea under the Gallows at Executions They stick not they stare about purses to take Nay one without Grace At a better place At Court and in Christmas before the Kings face Alack then for pity must I bear the curse That onely belong to the cunning Cut-purse Youth youth c. 5. But O you vile nation of Cut-purses all Relent and repent and amend and be ●ound And know that you ought not by honest mens fall To advance your own fortunes to dye above ground And though you go gay In Silks as you may It is not the high-way to Heaven as they say Repent then repent you for better for worse And kiss not the Gallows for cutting a purse Youth youth thou hadst better been sterv'd by thy nurse Then live to be hanged for cutting a purse To the Tune of I wail in wo I plunge in pain OR LABANDOLA shot Verse 1. IN Cheapside famous for Gold and Plate Quicksilver I did dwell of late I had a master good and kind That would have wrought me to his mind He bade me still work upon that But alas I wrought I knew not what He was a Touch-stone black but true And told me still what would ensue Yet wo is me I would not learn I saw alas but covld not discern Verse 2. I cast my Coat and Cap away I went in Silks and Sattens gay False mettal of good manners I Did daily coyne unlawfully I scorn'd my master being drunk I kept my Gelding and my Punk And with a Knight Sir Flash by name Who now is sorry for the same Verse 3. Still Eastward-Hoe was all my word But Westward I had no regard Nor ever thought what would come after As did alas his youngest Daughter At last the black Oxe trod on my foot I saw then what belong'd unto 't Now cry I Touch-stone touch me still And make me current by thy skill Verse 4. O Manington thy stories show Thou cut'st a Horse head off at a blow But I confess I have not the force For to cut off the head of a Horse Yet I desire this grace to win That I may cut off the Horse head of sin And leave his body in the dust Of sins high-way and bogs of lust Whereby I may take Vertue 's purse And live with her for better for worse Verse 5. Farewel Cheapside farewel sweet Trade Of Goldsmiths all that never shall fade Farewel dear Fellow-prentises all And be you warned by my fall Shun Usurers bonds and Dice and Drabs Avoid them as you would French scabs Seek not to go beyond your teacher And cut your thongs unto your leather So shall you thrive by little and little Scape Tyburn Counters and the Spittle A Song 1. LAdies here I do present you With a dainty dish of fruit The first it was a Poplin Pear 'T was all the fruit the tree did bear You need not pare it any whit But put it all in at a bit And being let a while to lye 'T will melt 't will melt 't will melt most pleasantly 2. The next in order you shall have A rich Potata and a brave Which being laid unto the fire God Cupid kindles to desire For when 't is baste with little cost 'T will baste it self when it is rost It needs no sugar nor no spice 'T will please a stomach nere so nice 'T will make a maid at midnight cry It comes it comes it comes it comes most pleasantly 3. The next by lot as doth befall Is two handfuls of Roundsefals Which Priamus the Garden god Made Venus eat within the Cod You must not prune too much at first For if you do tears out will
in a Cat-skin purse For fear the hailstones which did fall at Rome By lessening of the fault should make it worse For 't is most certain winter wool-sacks grow From geese to swans if men could keep them so Till that the sheep-shorn Planets gave the hint To pickle Pancakes in Geneva print Some men there were that did suppose the skye Was made of carbonado'd antidotes But my opinion is a whales left eye Need not be coyned all King Harry-groats The reason 's plain for Charons western barge Running a-tilt at the Subjunctive mood Beckned to Bednal-green and gave him charge To fatten Pad-locks with Antartick food The end will be the mill-pools must be laded To fish for whitepots in a countrey dance So they that suffer'd wrong and were upbraded Shall be made friends in a left-handed trance In praise of Ale WHenas the Chilly Rock once blows And winter tells a heavy tale When Pyes and Daws and Rooks and Crows Sit cursing of the frosts and snows Then give me ale Ale in Saxon Rumken then Such as will make grim Malkin prate Rouseth up valour in all men Quickens the poets wit and pen Despiseth fate Ale that the absent battle fights And frames the march of Swedish drums Disputes the Princes laws and rights And what is past and what 's to come Tells mortal wights Ale that the plow-mans heart up-keeps And equals it with Tyrants thrones That wipes the eye that over-weeps And lulls in soft and secure sleeps The weary'd bones Grandchild of Ceres Barley's daughter Wine 's emulous neighbour if but stale Ennobling all the Nymphs of water And filling each mans heart with laughter Ha ha give me ale A Riddle of a Goosberry THere is a bush fit for the nonce That beareth pricks and precious stones The fruit of which most Ladies pull 'T is round and smooth and plump and full It yields rare moisture pure and thick And seldom makes a Lady sick They put it in and then they move it Which makes it melt and then they love it So what was round and plump and hard Grows lanck and thin and poor and mar'd The sweetness suckt their holes wipe they And throw the empty skin away A Bull Prologue YOu that do sitting stand to see our Play Which must this night be acted here to day Be silent pray though you aloud do talk Stir not a foot though up and down you walk For every silent noise the Players see Will make them mute and speak full angerly But go not yet untill you do depart And unto us your smiling frownes impart And we most thankless thankful will appear And waite upon you home but yet stay here Another Prologue BE blithe Fobdodles for my author knows How to delight your eyes your ears your nose But first of all your eyes shall pleased be With cloth of Gold Tyssue and Taffare Blow but your nose and purifie that sense For you shall smell perfumes and franckincense And eke soft musick therefore sit you still Smile like the Lilly flower whilst trumpets sound And our endeavours with your love be ctown'd An Epilogue upon the honest Lawyer Gentlemen HE that wrote this Play ne'er made Play before And if this like not ne're will write Play more And so he bid me tell you Loves Progresse WHo ever loves if he do not propose The right true end of love he 's one that goes To sea for nothing but to make him sick ●nd love 's a bear-whelp born if over lick Our love and cause it new strange forms to take We erre and of a lump a monster make Were not a Calf a mons●et that was grown ●ac'd like a man though better then his own ●●●fection is in Unity so prefer ●he woman first and then one thing in her ● where I value Gold may think upon ●he purity the application The wholesomness the ingenuity From rust from soil from fire for ever free But if I love it 't is because its made By our new nature use the soul of trade All this in women we might think upon If women had them and yet love but one Can men more injure women than to say They love for that by which they are not they Makes vertue woman must I cool my bloud Till I both find and see one wise and good May barren angels love so but if we Make love to woman vertue is not she As beauty is not nor wealth he that strayes thu● From her to hers is more adulterous Than he that took her maid Search every sphere And firmament our Cupid is not there He 's an infernal god and under ground With Pluto dwells where gold and fire abound Men to such gods their sacrificing coals Laid not on altars but in pits and holes Although we see celestial bodies move Above the earth the earth we till and love So we her heirs contemplate words and heart And vertues but we love the centrique part Nor is the soul more worthy or more fit For love than that as infinite as it But in attaining this desired place How much they erre that set out at the face The hair a forrest is of ambushes Of springs snares fetters and manicles The brow becalms us when 't is smooth plain And when 't is wrinkled shipwrecks us again Smooth 't is a Paradise where we would have Immortal stay and wrinkled 't is our grave The nose like to the first meridian runs Not twixt an East and West but twixt two suns It leaves a cheek a rosie hemisphere On either side and then directs us where Upon the Islands fortunate we fall Not faint Canaries but ambrosial Her swelling lips to which when we are come We anchor there and think our selves at home For they sing all their Syrens songs and there Wise Delphick Oracles do fill the ear There in a creek where chosen pearls do swell The remora her cleaving tongue doth dwell Those and the promontary fair her Chin O're past and the straight Hellespont between The Sestos and Abidos of her brests Not of two lovers but two loves she nests Succeeds a boundless sea but that thine eye Some Island moles may scattered there discry And sailing towards her India in that way Shall at her fair Atlantick Navel stay Though thence the torrent be thy Pilot made Yet ere thou come where thou wouldst be imbay'd Thou shalt upon another forrest set Where many shipwreck and no farther get VVhen thou art there consider well this chace Mispent by the beginning at the face Rather set on 't below practise my art Some symitry the foot hath with that part Which thou dost seek and is as map for that Lovely enough to stoop but not stay at Least subject to disguise and change it is Men say the Devil-never can change his It is the embleme that hath figured Firmness 't is the first part that comes to bed Civility we see refin'd the kiss Which at the face begun transplanted is Since to the hand since to