Affections that should continue Mutual Love Good Lord let that dear Chid she hath left behind her cement and joyn our Hearts in joynt Thankfulness unto thee and unite us one to another Lord give them thy choice Favours in Jesus Christ pardon of Sin with the Graces of thy Holy Spirit and order and dispose for the best whatever may concern them and theirs as to a happy tendency to their well-being in this World and attaining of thy self in endless Glory I beseech thee be very gracious unto him whom thou hadst united so nearly to her in a sweet Conjugal Relation Lord I have sinned and he also suffered Good Lord let all Grace abound to him in all concerns in this Life and for a better and let her gain be his great Advantage joyning his Heart more closely to thy self Good Lord bless that single Posterity of his and ours left of her who was his dear Wife and our dearly Beloved Child I beseech thee be his God in Covenant with him and Lord give him the Efficacy of his Baptism that he may be thine by Grace and Adoption I beseech thee take full and early Possession of his Heart Good Lord keep out the Vanities and Follies of Childhood and Youth that while he is Young he may be a Beloved Disciple of Jesus Christ If thou seest it good to continue him in this Life I beseech thee grant that he may in his dear Mothers room Honour God in this World with an exemplary holy Life a choice Instrument of thy Glory Good Lord charge thy Providence with him in the whole course of his Life and make up all Relations to him in thy self Graciously support him in and through this World Good Lord preserve him from the Soul-ruining Evils of it and when thou wilt take him hence I beseech thee receive him to thy self in thy Everlasting Kingdom in the full Fruition of God in Glory Lord though thou was pleased to clip off so great a piece of the Comfort of my Life in this World denying my Vehement Desires and Requests with the many Prayers of thy People and our Christian Friends for the longer stay of our Dear Child with us in this World yet thou art not the less a God hearing Prayer but hast heard and granted to an higher End not here on Earth with us but in Heaven with thee received in the Arms of Everlasting Mercies to which Blessed Estate I beseech thee bring me and those Relatives very dear to me Good Lord sanctifie to us this Chastening Hand and though thou cuttest off the Streams my Comforts of this Life let not my Soul be as a parched Heath that receives no good but draw me to thy self the Fountain of durable Mercies give me those Living Waters from the Wells of thy Salvation the Light of thy Countenance with thy reconciled Face and Favour those Rivers that make glad the City of God Good Lord vouchsafe me the sweet refreshing gales and incomes of thy Spirit and with thy Grace conduct me off these ruff Seas of Sins and Sorrows to my desired Haven and Port in those Eternal Mansions of Glory where all in thee shall meet with full Enjoyments of God and one another with sweet acclamations of Thankfulness and Praises to thee our God for Ever for Ever Amen Amen Amen I have transcribed this long Paragraph without altering or changing the order of a Word if some may account it tedious who either have not been exercised with such Tryals or have other shorter and cheaper ways to relieve themselves against them let them use their own Methods without censuring or despising hers This was her Heart's Ease when she was overwhelmed pouring out her Complaints to God in secret was her best Anodine but I hope it will need no Apology with most and if it doth with any I 'll not run the risque of losing my Labour by attempting it where the Success is so doubtfull and unpromising I shall venture to enlarge this Section a little farther for three Reasons First To shew the ardour of her Zeal for the Spiritual good of this Child so exceeding dear to her which may be an Instructive Example to some Mothers or Grand-mothers to stir up the like towards their Descendants as nearly Related to them as this Child to her Secondly Because I foresee I shall not in the Body of this Book have much farther occasion to trouble the Reader with any long transcripts out of her Writings what remains being designed for the Appendix which will be entirely her own Lastly To imprint upon the Child due Sentiments of Gratitude to God and her I meet with many Expressions of most Pathetick Tenderness towards this dear Child who now next to my self was the Center in which all the lines of her strong Affections terminated July 14. 1679. Our dear sweet Child went to Coggshall to his Father's House the Lord preserve him from all Evil and Bless him and comfortably restore him to us again About a quarter of a Year after he returned well to us again Blessed be God for it We went four Miles from Home to visit a Friend our dear Child was preserved in an apparent Danger The hinder Wheel of the Coach was very like to have borne him down and gone over him as he was going into the Coach the Horses being disturbed by a strange Horse went away but through God's preventing Goodness I had a quick apprehension of the danger I suddenly pulled him away Blessed be our good God for this Deliverance of our dear Child he had no harm the Wheel durtied his Hat and Coat good Lord help me to live thy Praises who art the God of our Mercies Some may say these are small Matters but I say they are no small Evidences of a very thankfull sense of God's Mercies and will leave them inexcusable who are not thankfull for greater In the Year 1682. God was pleased to put me in fear of the speedy dissolution of our dearly beloved Grand-child He was in a languishing consumptive condition with other symptoms of the Disease His Breath was very short had lost his Appetite he looked very Pale was very Lean which imprest on my Thoughts that God would take him from me To his Righteous Will I laboured to submit but God was pleased to reverse the Sentence with a Blessing on means used the Prescriptions of Dr. H. whom we sent for from London to him and with my own great Care of him he recovered Strength to God's Blessing I ascribe the Praise who did not cast out my Petition Good Lord let this pledge of thy compassionating Mercy to me strengthen my Faith in the grant of my more Earnest Request that I may assure my self agreeable to thy Will of his Sanctification I beseech thee season his tender Mind with the savoury Knowledge of thy Blessed self Lord I do not ask of thee the Excesses and great things of this World not Earth but Heaven thy Blessed self I beseech thee put
him not off with any thing less than thy self No Lord I beg thou wilt with-hold the grandeur of this Life from him farther than thou wilt give him an Heart to lay it out to the best advantage of thy Glory on Earth the procuring a better Estate in Heaven those Everlasting Mansions where are durable Riches an Eternal weight of Glory purchased with the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ which good Lord grant unto him Amen Amen Amen June 19. 1688. My dear Grand-Child escaped by God's gracious Providence a very terrible Danger of being Wounded or sudden Death which danger she describes had not God's watchfull Compassion interposed I cannot express the terrible Consequence which might have happened I am not able to recount thy multiplied Mercies in delivering us from present Dangers and many we know not of For this and all good Lord accept as I would render them from a Heart sensible of thy Mercies my most gratefull Acknowledgments and in consideration of this I beseech thee make deep Impressions on the Heart of my poor Child and us his Parents concerned for him that he and we may live thy Praises Amen Amen I will satisfie my self with the Perusal of the rest and not trouble the Reader by transcribing more though all improved to Holy Purposes and the Reflections made with such warm Expressions as I conceive might be very apt to kindle the Flames of Devoutest Thankfulness in those who read them no words being more likely to affect the Hearts of others than those which so evidently proceed from the Hearts of those who Speak or Write them and feel what they utter according to the Advice good Bishop Felton used to give his Chaplains of which the Excellent Bishop Brownwrig was sometime one to steep their Sermons in their Hearts before they Preached them SECT XXIII Acts and Kinds of her great Charity THough the Title-page gives this Section a Right and Claim to one moiety of the whole I write concerning her yet I would have it interpreted with some grains of Allowance for alass how could any thing she gave be called her Charity who was a Wife or how could it be called great when all we both possessed had the whole been given could not in rigour bear that Epithete I will therefore account for both in a few words First therefore though a Wife she had a freedom of my little All where I was Cajus she was truly Caia according to the old Roman Phrase she had free access to whatever I was Master of so abundantly was I satisfied in her Integrity and Prudence and to touch so small a thing as a Testimony of her wise Care and our mutual Confidence to avoid the clog of many Keys she contrived to have five Locks open with one Key and had two made one for each of us that upon no occasion of the others Absence either of us might be shut out from what was kept under them and so for a few other Locks she provided double Keys one of which she kept the other hung up in my Study Now when any object of Charity offered it self she would serve the occasion as she also did for her own Expence out of my Store but would after always tell me to a Penny what she took which I have times without number not only excused her from but almost chid her for but she would not be perswaded to mend that Fault so tender was she Whereupon I told her I would ease us both of that needless and uneasie Trouble by allowing her a fixed certain Sum that she might have no shaddow of a Scruple left in using of it as she pleased I may indeed be ashamed to name it and it had been a niggardly and indecent Proportion had I had more than one competent Living but being as it was she would have no more only said merrily My Friend this shall not debarr me of my former Freedom which on my part it never did though on her part never was made use of The Summ was the rents of a small Farm of Nineteen Pound a Year which was always called hers and I used to call her my Landlady chearfully when I duly paid her Nine Pound ten Shillings on the half-years day and some little Perquisites about the Yard more than were spent in the Family which were also her Propriety and which might together amount to about Twenty two or Twenty three Pound a Year in the whole Out of which she cloathed herself very decently and many Poor very warmly and did much other good as I shall convinsingly evidence in what follows So true is the Saying Nullum numen doest si sit Prudentia Wise Contrivance will supply all other Defects And as an observing Gentlewoman said She never knew any had the Art so perfectly as Mrs. Walker of making a little shew a great deal or going a great way This small Pittance being absolutely her own her scrupulous Tenderness was freed from giving me account what she did with it and I from the irksome trouble of receiving it and what she spared out of it was properly her own Charity Now though to give more than her whole Allowance would be a lean and starvling Charity from those who have more than they know well what to do with yet our gracious Lord the most unexceptionable Judge of these Matters tells us the poor Widdow's two Mites was more than the bulky Summs which the Rich cast into the Treasuries of God out of their Abundance who rather squander their Superfluities than retrench from their Necessities to help the wants of the Indigent though I wish there were not too few even of such Squanderers And the Holy Apostle tells us If there be a willing Mind it is accepted according to what a Man hath and not according to what he hath not 2 Cor. 8.12 And I bear her Record that to her Power yea beyond her Power she was always willing and ready to communicate to the Wants of others for how strait soever her Ability might be she was not straitned in her own Bowels And though what she did from her own allowance was in strictest Sence her Charity only yet this only was not all her Charity for she having a joint Interest in what was mine she was sharer with me in the disposing or retaining of it and I can with Truth and Comfort testifie she never disswaded me from giving often encouraged me to give and would say to me on such occasions My Dear I think none of our Estate laid out so well as what is laid out so nor any part kept so safe as what is deposited in God's Hand and committed to his keeping But this is not all she would be over-ballanced against her own Inclination if there were Charity in the case She was not more averse from any thing than the enlarging our Family loved to have it as small as might be that it might be still and private free from disturbing Noise and distracting Diversions
unwritten Paper which remains may seem to imply she designed more This is just the fortyeth part of what she had written for her Childrens use being 6 Pages in her Book of Twelve score so that I have enough if I would enlarge to tire my self and satisfie not to say clog my Readers But I will consult my own ease and theirs in adding little more of what an account is given Sect. 12. under Eleven or Twelve distinct Heads I confess I am tempted to add the Example to the Rule I mean the large Form of Prayer and Thanksgiving each containing 16 Pages But I 'll forbear only as I toucht a few Lines of the beginning and end of the Thanksgiving before So I shall give a little taste of this Prayer which she begins thus Good Lord give me to know thee who passest all Knowledge and though I cannot comprehend thee in the perfection and fullness of thy Glory yet vouchsafe to give me to apprehend thee in thy Love and pardoning Mercy to me a poor miserable Sinner who in my first Being was invested with an happy and righteous Estate from which O Lord in my first Original I soon declined c. And so proceeds most humbly to acknowledge the guilt and pollution of Original Sin as I think yea know most Orthodoxly If our Bibles our Articles our Homilies yea our Liturgy be more Orthodox than Socinus and those Ephramites who lisp his Sibboleth because they cannot or will not pronounce aright the Shibboleth of the Church of England's good old Doctrine Then she proceeds to a large Confession of actual Sin both of Omission and Commission against both Tables Acknowledging the demerit of them proceeds to sue out the Pardon of them in these words O God thou knowest my foolishness and my Sins are not hid from thee I beseech thee pardon my Iniquities and blot out my Transgressions though they be as a thick Cloud Good Lord wash me from my Impurities in that Fountain set open for Sin and for Vncleanness the precious Blood of Jesus Christ which is not only able to expiate my guilt but to cleanse me from all my filthiness that through his stripes I may be healed and cleansed from all my Original and Actual Defilements c. Having enlarged upon this she proceeds to pay for Sanctification and Inherent Righteousness that she may be a new Creature in Christ Jesus then most fully and earnestly against Temptation then for the Assistance of the Spirit to render all God's Ordinances and the means of Grace effectual then for growth in Grace for Comfort for an Heavenly frame of Heart and Life for assurance and manifestation of God's Love to her then for Wisdom to consider her latter End and to be helped in that Spiritual Arithmetick so to number her Days as to apply her Heart to true Wisdom then that God would fit and prepare her for her Dissolution that when her days shall be consummated on Earth her Corruptible may put on Incorruption and her Mortal put on Immortality Then she concludes with these Words Then shall Death my last Enemy be vanquished and swallowed up in Victory and from thy unworthy Creature Everlasting Praises shall be rendred unto thee through Jesus Christ that giveth me the Victory for thou hast redeemed my Soul from the Power of the Grave I beseech thee receive me into thy Eternal Kingdom and Glory that neither Death nor Life things present nor things to come may be able to separate me from thy Love O God which is in Christ Jesus my Lord. Then she proceeds to Pray for the Church of which a taste was given in her Monday-morning Prayers Sect. 7. pag. 45. Gracious Lord the Mercies I ask of thee for my own Soul I earnestly beg of thee for thy Church and People Blessed Lord Thou hast made the Earth by thy Power established the World by thy Wisdom and stretched out the Heavens by thy Discretion thy Arm is not shortned that thou canst not Save Good Lord take care of Zion build up the Walls of Jerusalem that in Zion there may be Deliverance and Holiness in thy House let the Mountain of thy House be established in the top of the Mountains be thou a Wall of Fire round about and her Glory in the midst thereof But I forgot my self 't is hard to stop my Pen. Then I beseech thee especially for the Land of my Nativity the Nation of which I am a sinfull Member here is a large Paragraph The next is for the World Give thy Gospel a free and glorious Passage through the World Good Lord pity those that sit in the region and shaddow of Death Then I beseech thee be mercifull to all the Sons and Daughters of Sorrow and Affliction the Disconsolate the Sick those who contend with Poverty Imprisonment Reproach Disgrace Then for them who suffer Persecution for the Truth Then for her Relations I confess I am almost ashamed that I have thus mangled so excellent a Prayer so Piously so Judiciously in such suitable Scripture Phrase and Language I think it had been better to have transcribed the whole or let it quite alone but her Friends may command a Copy of it if they please Having finished her Intercessions for others she returns to conclude with renewed Petitions for herself which I will venture to set down Good Lord be the God and Portion of me thy unworthy Creature and of those so dear unto me give me a Relation to thee an Affiance in thee and a Dependance upon thee that in all my concerns I may come to thee in whom are all my fresh Springs the riches of free Grace to poor Sinners and treasuries of Mercies purchased with the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ I beseech thee with-hold not thy tender Mercies from me but give me of that hidden Manna the sweet refreshing Incomes of thy Holy Spirit into my Soul and when my Heart is overwhelmed I beseech thee lead me to the Rock that is higher than I for thou hast been a shelter to me Lord be thou a strong Tower to me to which I may continually resort for whom have I in Heaven but thee And if I know any thing of my own Heart there is none comparative on Earth that I desire besides thee thou art my God besides thee there is no Saviour I beseech thee guide me with thy Counsel and when I shall go hence and be no more in this World I beseech thee receive me into thy Glory Then follows the Thanksgiving full as large as the Form of Prayer and if it may be more Spiritual raised and Divinely Savoury but I will not repeat the Errour to mangle it and set down so Imperfect Pieces and spoil its Beauty but signifie to her Friends that I shall freely allow them to read the Original which is fairly legible or if they think it worth the while to Copy it out or at more leisure to Print some few Copies of it and others of her usefull
Defence God is called a Refuge a hiding-place a strong Tower but for whom the Righteous they run unto it and are safe great Peace have they that love God's Law and nothing shall offend them the direction of God's Word will not only be your safety in troublesome times but your Counsellor also in common Calamities and you may as Luther used read the 46 Psalm and bid your Enemies doe their worst if God give them leave to kill the Body it is the most they can doe no more if you are not on Earth you may be in Heaven be not affraid of a Man that shall dye but take our Saviour's Counsel fear him that can cast Soul and Body into Hell seek Righteousness it may be you shall be hid in the Day of the Lord 's fierce Anger which we have cause to fear is hastning to this sinfull Nation God's Law writ on your Heart and Life may be as the Scarlet Thread that was bound in the Window of Rahab's House which preserved her from Destruction or as the Blood of the Paschal Lamb which marked the Houses of the Children of Israel that the destroying Angel touched not their Dwellings with any of the Plagues of Egypt however for your greatest safety take heed and avoid any indirect or unlawfull means to obtain or preserve a Momentary Life which is as uncertain as short and so provoke God to lead you forth with the workers of Iniquity and so your Redemption may cease for ever and then a great Ransome cannot recover you therefore at any rate purchase the Truth and fell it not to which choice the Lord grant you Wisdom and Preserve you both by his Grace under his Protection unto his Heavenly Kingdom giving you the Blessings of this Life also and prepare you both for that good Life to come that when this shall be no more he may receive you with that happy Saying Well done and reward you with Eternal Glory I am sensible of the length of my Letter but hope it will not be tedious to you something more I would say though of a much less Concern but as a true Friend I would not omit any thing that might render me so but would caution you with better Arguments than mine you may have from undeniable Wisdom which is not to be despised and warn you of what some have smarted for being Sureties for other Men. I would sooner pay a Debt than be bound for any See Prov. 6.1 2. Also Chap. 11.15 the same Author tells you That he that hateth Suretyship is sure on these Considerations I request you you will not be in Bonds to any but to me by Promise that you will never be bound for any Man In all I have requested of you if you have not from your self or some other Friend better Advice let this Letter be my Substitute review it sometimes and afford it a kind Reception of Friendship from me who am your well-wishing Friend ready in any Kindness to express my self Your truly Loving Aunt Elizabeth Walker 1685. A Letter of prudent pious Counsels written to her dear Grand-child then at Felsted-School about two Months before she Dyed which I publish to preserve it for his use and because I hope it may be also usefull to some other Youths of the like Age and Quality This was the last large Letter she ever wrote Dear Johnny I Have some time since received a Letter from Mrs. Bribrist much to my Satisfaction and I hope is thy due Commendation she hath been pleased to give me of thee do not forfeit the same by neglect to perform in thy commendable good Behaviour as hitherto but always render suitable to any good thoughts of thee from herself or others and as helps thereto be guided by the advice and counsel of thy Friends Never forget thy Dear Grandfather's oft Counsels when thou wast at home and since in several good Letters with them make good use of this also Dear Johnny I would not be wanting to thee as far as I am able to express I advise in these following Counsels Be modest humble and obedient to thy Governours and Superiours in that Place be always advised by them that are able and wish thee well it is better more ease and safety to be governed than to govern Lean not to thine own Vnderstanding The Wise Man saith Seest thou a Man Wise in his own Eyes there is more hope of a Fool than of him Dear Johnny Thou art not destitute of good Friends where thou art ready to shew thee Kindness thy Master Glascock of whom be very respective and observant performing all Exercises he gives thee as may be Praise-worthy also Mrs. Woodroof Mrs. Boteler they are thine and our kind Friends I do not exclude Mrs. Robarts Dear Johnny Let none have cause with shame for or of thee to retract their Commendations of thee make the Word of God the Rule of thy Life let it be thy chief Counsellor let thy Reputation have a good Bottom an honest Heart free from guile and hypocrisie being founded on the Scriptures fixed on the the Rock of Ages Christ Jesus that by the winds of Worldly Prosperity Honour or Applause it may never overturn neither by Adversity Affliction or any trouble thou mayest fall into Dear Johnny All things but God are mutable and full of change there is the day of Adversity as well as Prosperity God hath set the one over against the other make sure thy best and unalterable Estate in which will be no change nor alteration but happy once and for ever to that higher End make thy Learning and all other things subservient Improve all opportunities for thy well-being in this World but most for thy Spiritual best Advantage give all dilligence attend at Wisdom's Posts Wisdom is the principal thing its Price is far above Rubies fine Gold cannot equal it nothing can be compared to it search for it as for hid Treasure in the holy Scriptures there thou mayest find the Pearl of so great Price that the World cannot purchase it and it is worth the selling all to have it Let not this Price be put into thy Hand and thou have no Heart to it but let it be said of thee as St. Paul said of Timothy That from a Child he had known the Holy Scriptures they will make thee Wise unto Salvation and will help thee in all Relative Duties in well discharging of which consists much of the Power and Honour of Religion Mind the Precepts let them be the guide of all thy Thoughts and Words and Actions doe all God's Commandments in keeping of them there is great Reward Take notice of all the Threatnings that thou mayest avoid the evil of Sin and the Punishment due to the Commission of it Heed the Promises they are full of the Love of God in Christ let them constrain thee to a circumspect watchfull holy Life in performing the conditions of them Dear Johnny get God's Just and Righteous Law
Light and my Righteousness in those particulars as the Noon-day telling me nothing could ever make her shrink or quail but guilt of which blessed be God we comfortably knew there was not the least Spark to raise that Blasting Smoak How did she pray to God! for she knew the Case would bear Appeals to him How did she write to and sollicite Men How did she walk and ride and repeat long Journeys beyond her Strength Had not her Affections been both more strong and swift than Legs or Horse or Coach and when a Gentleman had treated her less obligingly than by a messuage sent from himself he had incouraged her to hope for by her meekness of Wisdom by her calm Replies and by a convincing prudent Letter which she wrote him she obtained this acknowledgment from him That she was a very good yea excellent Christian but no more of these matters let them be buried in her Grave they 'll not disturb her Rest and I heartily pray that when she shall rise to Glory they may rise to no Man's Shame Amen Amen Next to the things of God my Company was the delight and satisfaction of her Life and when I went from home she would importune my speediest return and if she had any Friend to visit she would take the opportunity of my absence that she might not be from me when at home and if any Family affairs gave more trouble and bustle she would not fail to have them finished whilst I was abroad that there might be no molesting puther or noise in my Sight and Hearing and as she often told me next to the pleasing God her greatest Care was that I might never be displeased If passing the love of Women be a superlative Expression hers was more than so passing the love of most Women that there was not a Man on Earth I had cause to envy as happier than my self in that respect She was a Wife according to my own Heart and even exceeded the Character of such an one as with most earnest Prayers I begged of God to vouchsafe to me when I was inclined to enter on the Marriage State In this God did abundantly for me beyond what I could ask or think and as a good Friend who came to comfort me since I lost her was pleased to phrase it alluding to the Expression Ezek. 20.6 Of God's giving the Land of Canaan to his People God had spied out a Wife for me and as we have some hundred times blest God for singling us out from all other Persons in the World to be joined in that most near Relation so I repeat those Praises with profoundest Gratitude from the bottom of a most humble Heart She would often come into my Study to me and when I have asked her what she would have she would reply Nothing My Dear but to ask thee how thou dost and see if thou wantest any thing and then with an endearing Smile would say Dost thou love me to which when I replied Most dearly I know it abundantly would she answer to my Comfort but I love to hear thee tell me so And once when I was adding the reasons of my Love and began first for Conscience she stopt me e'er I could proceed as she was very quick Ah my Dear I allow Conscience to be an excellent Principle in all we doe but like it worst in Conjugal Affection I would have thee love me not because thou must but because thou wilt not as a duty but delight we are prone to reluctate against what 's imposed but take Pleasure in what we chuse so innocently witty would she be They that have such Wives will easily pardon my fondness in this short Paragraph and that all may doe it I wish that no Man living had a worse but I 'll not offend the most sowre or most squeemish in like kind for the future As she was all the best of Wives could be in time of Health so if God sent Sickness more than is credible to any but Eye-witnesses It once pleased God to visit us with Sickness both together she was taken first my self in few days after and both so ill our death was expected by our selves and others but God was pleased to spare us longer I recovered first and when I could leave my Bed and creep into her Chamber the sight of me was like Life from the Dead She hath oft told me she could not express what alteration it made in her the joy so revived her Spirits it helped to cure her There 's not a Sickness nor imminent danger I escaped all the time we lived together which she hath not recorded with most ardent Prayers and signal Instances of God's gracious Answers of them and most lively Praises which might thaw a Heart of Ice into streams of devoutest Thankfulness which even the fear of being prolix can scarce restrain me from transcribing but I will confine my self to one out of very many November 30. 1675. being Saturday my Dear Husband came from London and not well with a Cold. The Lord's Day following he Preached both parts of the Day Monday he took Ruffi's Pills he grew very ill with his Cold which was accompanied with a Fever and a Pleurisie Tuesday Morning very early I sent for Dr. Yardly and Dr. Godfrey On the Wednesday I sent to London for Dr. Walter Needham My Dear Husband having Pains in his Side was by the appointment of his Physicians let-Blood three times After his third Bleeding he had a very sick Night but not sensible of his Illness for when I asked him how he did he said pretty well though to my apprehension he was very ill He groan'd all Night and very restless when I raised him in his Bed to take something to refresh him he had tremblings and a fumbling in his Speech and sometimes speak incoherently which made me fear he was a little delirous these bad Symptoms gave me the fear of the sudden approach of Death I again sent for Dr. Needham who lovingly came again to us These Colds with Fevers were then the Epidemical Disease both of City and Country of which many died by which distemper my Dear Husband was brought even to the Mouth of the Grave from which God mercifully retrieved and gave me him again Thus far the History of my Sickness by her Pen to which before I transcribe the Devotial Part I must add from my own Memory to the Praise of God's Grace and Patience The third time of my Bleeding was by my own peremptory Resolution which I hardly obtained the other Physicians consent to it being the night before Dr. Needham came the second time but God whose Mercy put it into my Mind inclined them to consent to the Arguments I used for it which were these I told them my Pain continued in my Side my Water as high and thick as ever my Heat also and dryness of my Mouth I raised purulent and bloody Matter and I bled at Nose and urged
put forth her utmost Ability and Strength in assisting the Sick and Infirm not the meanest Neighbour whom she would not visit and help in such Circumstances administer to them what in her Judgment she thought most proper for them and not only direct how to use what she brought them but stay with them or come again to see the Operation or Success and she confined not this Kindness to the limits of the Parish but would extend it to some distance I will take the freedom to give one Instance because the Reverend Person for and to whom she performed it in thankfull Acknowledgment ever after used both while she lived and since she dyed to call her his Nurse A Neigbouring Minister having a long and dangerous Sickness when upon a Visit made him she took notice that as she feared he wanted Persons of Experience about him having before lost his Wife and his Physicians by reason of distance could not be long or often with him she daily went to him for many days at near two Miles distance and staid with him most part of the Days I affirm not that she watched with him any Night but I am sure she hath done so elsewhere and perfectly remember when and where because it hath slipped my Memory and though she was so modest as not to assume much to herself I have heard her say She thought God made her Instrumental not only to the speedier recovery of his Health but preservation of his Life Another object of her Painfull Charity which I the rather name because our Litany expresly reckons it amongst the objects of our devoutest Prayers was Women Labouring with Child whom she would rise at any hour of the Night to go too and carry with her what might be usefull to them having good Skill and store of Medicines always ready by her for such occasions and there was scarcely ever any difficulty in that case round about but recourse was made to her both for Advice and Medicines and if might be with Convenience for her Presence which was always very acceptable and comfortable to the distressed Women when the distance was such that she could afford it I might write well near as much of her forgiving as her giving Charity for though the objects and occasions of exercising this Grace were not so many and so frequent as those of the other yet what they wanted in number was made up abundantly in Weight and Measure under which pressures and provocations she behaved herself as became the Daughter of him who was Dumb before the Shearers and opened not his Mouth She would not recompence Evil for Evil nor answer reviling with reviling but committed her Cause to him who Judgeth Righteously knowing it was for his sake she was so despitefully used and thought it not strange that seeing the Master of the House was called Beelzebub those of his Houshold should â—e called so too She had well studied our Saviour's Sermon on the Mount and considered that Passage especially for she reckons the Practice of that Lesson amongst the signs of a Regenerate State St. Matth. 5.44 I say to you Love your Enemies Bless them that Curse you Do good to them that hate you Pray for them that despitefully use you and Persecute you that â—e may be the Children of your Father which is in Heaven And to confess her Weakness I am perswaded she thought it as true a sign of a sincere Christian to love an Enemy though a bad Man for the natural Image of God remaining in him as some do to hate a Friend though a good Man for the renewed Image of God which appears in him If her Opinion be an Errour I hope it is on the Right-hand and so may escape being reputed an Heresie But I remember I am writing of Forgiving Charity and I would not give occasion to start such a Question as I once heard started by a Gentleman after a lashing Sermon Preached on a Text of Mercy He said in Droll 'T was a Sermon of Mercy but the question is whether it were a Mercifull Sermon Sed motos praestat componere fluctus Peace and be still unruly Passions What hath added to her Crown oâ— Glory as I am confident her Carriage in such rancounters did should be taken by thâ— better Handle esteemed favours for the Issueâ— rather than injuries for the Design When Beeâ— fight the throwing dust upon them it is said will puiet them She is dead and her Dusâ— shall for ever extinguish all Resentments and let them be buried in an Eternal Amnestry Had she lived or I wrote of her in another Age one thing more might have been added to the List of or brought up the Rear of her Charity that is the temper of her Mind and Carriage towards those who were not altogether of her Size and Dimensions nor cast exactly in her Mould I confess she was one of the old-fashion'd Christians who thought her Heavenly Father's Example an Authentick Warrant for her Imitation of whom whosoever feareth God and working Righteousness is accepted And though Vertues and Vices change their names and grow unmodish and obsolete like Garbs and Words yet old Wine relished best to her Pallate which so many spit out as soon as taste and cry it is vapid or eager Some perhaps may wonder that so wise a Man as St. Paul should not only allow Moderation to be commendable but enjoyn it as a Duty and press it by the Medium of the Day of the Lord drawing near Let you Moderation be known unto all Men the Lord is at hand When now his coming is sixteen hundred Years nearer most Men are as many Miles more distant from Moderation than when he wrote But I must acknowledge how much soever it may lessen her in the Esteem of any that she had a Latitude not in her Conversation for she always walked in the Narrow Way in her Judgment about little indifferent Matters Oh how Diametrically opposite are some in both She observed there were Men of all Complexions and Blacks and Tawnys as well as Whites were Descendants of the first Adam and so she hoped those of different Perswasions might be ingrafted into the Second Adam and therefore thought Job's Words Canonical to this Day Why Persecute we him seeing the Root of the Matter is found in him She did not think all that in a few things dissented from the Communion in which she lived such rank Heathens that if she heard a Man name them without setting a stigmatizing Brand upon them like the bigotted Jews of St. Paul upon the meer naming of the Gentiles Acts 22.22 She should cry out Away with such a Fellow from the Earth for it is not fit that he should Live It is a true and weighty Saying worthy our Remembrance and Imitation That the prime Object of God's Love is his Dear Son and next to that the Image of his Son where-ever he finds it And she wrote after this Copy she loved the Lord
thy Soul and with all thy Strength the second is like the first Thou shalt love thy Neighbour as thy self On this brief Account Christ put so great a stress he said On these hang all the Law and the Prophets And St. James saith 28. If ye fulfill the Royal Law according to the Scriptures thou shalt love thy Neighbour as thy self which God requires not in Word only but in Deed also relieving their Necessities if any be naked or destitute of daily Food to feed and cloath them to say depart in Peace and give them not those things needfull to the Body it will not profit therefore with-hold not good from them to whom it is due if it be in the Power of thy Hand to doe it it is a more blessed thing to give than to receive He that gives to the Poor shall not lack but he that hideth his Eyes shall have many a Curse Do not say I have but little now to give but I will give hereafter remember the poor Woman's Mite was more in Christ's Esteem than those who had of their abundance cast into the Treasury Dear Johnny It may be something might be spared from unnecessary Expence buying Fruit or the like of which too much may be prejudicial to thy Health and may be laid out to a better account Do not give grudgingly by constraint lest it be as the Lame or Blind which was not to be brought to God like Cain's Sacrifice which he brought with an unwilling mind not acceptable to God Let the object stir up thy Compassion that thou mayst not give too sparingly God loves a chearfull giver Dear Johnny He that gives to the Poor lends to the Lord he that makes all Grace to abound will repay thee in temporal and spiritual Blessings good Measure shaken and pressed together and running over shall be given to thee God hath given many Promises to the Charitable to hint but a few The Lord will deliver him in time of Trouble and will not deliver him to the Will of his Enemies The Lord will preserve him and keep him alive and he shall be Blessed upon the Earth The Lord will strengthen him upon the Bed of Languishing he will make all his Bed in his Sickness Psal 41. For thy Encouragement read Isaiah 58. Yield Obedience to God's Command He hath said Deut. 7. If there be among you a poor Man thou shalt not harden thy Heart not shut thy Hand against thy poor Brother thou shalt shurely give unto him and thy Heart shall not be grieved when thou givest unto him but thou shalt open thy Hand wide unto thy poor and to thy needy for for this thing shall the Lord bless thee in all thou puttest thy Hand unto Dear Johnny Thou art also bound by an obligatory Promise to thy Grandfather and to me we have sometimes given thee Money for this Purpose to inure thee betimes to be Charitable that something of it thou mightest give unto the Poor as thou hast promised a Penny in every Shilling it is but a little do not withold that lest it become an accursed thing to thee like Achan's wedge of Gold at the Last Day the Day of Judgment This duty of Charity in right performance of it will be a distinguishing Character of those who shall stand at Christ's Right-hand from those who shall stand at his Left-hand whose Hands were as strait as their Hearts were hard they would have no Pity on the Poor therefore they shall find none But Christ will say unto them Depart ye Cursed into Everlasting Fire prepared for the Devil and his Angels with that Infernal Company But those at Christ's right-hand which fed the hungry cloathed the naked visited the sick and imprisoned which Christ will take as done unto himself he will reward with the Kingdom of Heaven Dear Johnny Make thee friends of the Mammon of this World that when this Life fails thou mayst be received into everlasting Habitations Dear Johnny As God may bless thee with the things of this World let not thy little at present be the measure of greater plenty He that sows sparingly shall reap spearingly but he that sows bountifully shall reap bountifully not only in this Life but in that to come There are degrees of Glory in Heaven the better here the happier hereafter though not of merit but of Grace God will pass by the Imperfections of his People which cleave to their best performance Dear Johnny With other religious Duties continue thy custom of private Prayer at least twice a day Morning and Evening besides publick and family Prayer Ejaculatory Prayer is also of great Benefit it is short but holy Desires lifting up thy heart to God Let them be thy last thoughts before sleep that God may give thee as his Beloved sleep the like as soon as thou wakest in the Morning before more solemn Prayer and with both render him Praise for the Mercy thou liest down in peace and risest in safety always under God's Protection These holy Desires may be oft sent to Heaven and bring thee Blessings the World cannot give and will defend thee from the Sin and Vanity of it keeping thy heart in a good frame they may be as the Angels ascending and descending upon Jacob's Ladder where God is above it ready to receive thee that thy return to secular Employment may be sanctified and blest that God may by thy holy wrestlings with him as he did Jacob bless thee in thy way to Canaan and New Jerusalem above And in thy more lengthened Prayer with thy own necessities and receipts from God remember the Church and People of God as need requires with Prayers and Praises Go to God with filial Fear and holy Reverence of Body and Mind God is in Heaven by his Greatness Superiority and Majesty thou on Earth in Weakness and Indigency Bring thy wants to his all-sufficient Fullness and immense Goodness ready able willing to supply all thy Necessities beg thee pardon of thy Sins and what thou needest for the sake merits and ever-prevaling Intercession of Jesus Christ Ask that thou mayst receive his holy Spirit as the Seal of his Love to thee With the imputed Righteousness of Christ reconciling thee to God Beg that thou mayst also have an inherent Righteousness from him renewing thee in the Spirit of thy Mind into his Image that thou mayst become one with him his Law being writ on thy Heart that he may guide thee by his Counsel in this troublesome World that no temptation may be above thy strength These things ask with thy daily Bread which implies the supply of all the necessities of humane Nature and be not desirous of more than God sees good for thee and for all the Receipts for Soul and Body be thankfull forget not to render Praises to God for what he bestows on thy self and others Forget not Zion pray for the peace of Jerusalem they shall prosper that love her Pray for the Conversion of Enemies that the