enjoy the company of morall and harmless friends with delight I can pray with confidence to be heard and satisfied I do hope with some assurance of salvation I sleep upon a peacefull pillow Thus far I am in a calm and serene hemisphere and quiet be all my thoughts But after all this Sunshine there ariseth a tempest When I do recollect or be represented unto my conscience my innumerable incomparable intollerable sinnes the remembrance of them is so frightfull the burden of them is so unsupportable that I dare not even look up unto Heaven Faith lies fainting hope is in a swoon fear stands by the bed side despaire lies gaping at the chamber door my soul is in an extasie I am weary of all company but those that speak of mercy I sit mourning all the day long Sorrow and solitude are my associates I do shed some tears and would weep tears of blood for my sins I lament because my sorrows are not greater for offending my God Well yet hear the Physician of souls speaks to thee from Heaven Weep on bleed on this bleeding shall not be unto death Jesus Christ hath a Balsome that shall not onely stanch thy bleeding but fill the veins of thy soul with comfort His blood is an Antidote for thine One drop of that shall satisfie for more sins then ever thou hast committed Weep on for thy Transgressions Those flouds of tears shall not drown thee Yea rather like the waters of that universall Deluge in that saving Arke Christ Jesus they shall bear up thy soul higher towards Heaven They shall not drowne thee yea they shall rather save thee from being drowned This is that Secunda Tabula after shipwrack the main plank that shall preserve thee from perishing emergent repentance There be two most Valiant and Puissant souldiers that are the Souls Champions Faith and Repentance They fight not only against lust and sin those Gyants of the world but even against Principalities and Powers those infernall spirits of darknesse Faith hath her weapons and Forces but Repentance hath many disadvantages 1. Other Souldiers fight standing she kneeling They in a posture confronting their enemies she in humiliation though not tergiversation from her opposites They send forth their messengers of death in thundring ordnance all her thunder is sighs and groans sent up to Heaven for mercies They let flie their fiery Engines of destruction she hath only her ejaculations Her most piercing darts be broken hearts Their shafts are winged with fire her arrows are feathered with water her own soft tears They swallow up the hope of victory with insulation she in an humble prostration expects pity Yet the God of all power and mercy whom she beleaguers in Heaven yeilds her the conquest He comes from his inpregnable Throne by his most gracious favour and insteed of confounding her as a Rebel he useth her as a Friend or Daughter He takes her up from her knees he wipes away all her tears he folds her in his armes he seals her a pardon of all sins and assures her of an everlasting Kingdom in Heaven O victorious Repentance yea rather O triumphant Goodnesse O God Teipsum vincis thou even overcomest thy self that thy Comforts may delight our souls It is reported of Alexander that when he thought and did but think so he had conquered all this world he fell a weeping that there were no more worlds to conquer But there was remaining another world a better then ever Alexander discovered But this was not for an Alexander by force of Armes but for a Mary Magdalen by force of tears to overcome It is true that the Kingdome of Heaven suffers violence but the way of Conquest is not through the blood of bodies but through a floud of tears gushing out for our sins This is such a stratagem of war such a policy of Conquest as the great Monarchs of the world never understood Yet even this through faith overcomes the world Faith hath a plot which shee hath taught her daughter Repentance Concedendo superare to overcome by yeilding It is a stratagem among Wrastlers that if a man can get himself under his antagonist he lifts him up the sooner to cast him down yea to give him the greater fall Repentance stoops as low as she can she lies like Joshuah upon the bare earth yea wollowes in dust and ashes She holds her self not worthy to be Gods foot-stool let him trample upon her and tread her under his feet she still holds him by the feet washeth them with her tears and wipeth them with the hairs of her head and kisseth them though she be spurned by them Doth this humble prostration provoke fury No it rather invites mercy Parcere prostratis scit nobilis ira Leonis The Lyon of the Tribe of Judah will spare such Lambs of humiliation and in the pastures of consolation he will both feed and preserve them That thunder which dissolves the stubborn mettall yet spares the yeilding purse When power and policy have spent their spirits submission is found the only way of Conquest The feafull thunder of vengeance is resisted by the soft wool of repentance 2. Yet hath this blessed grace another disadvantage Faith the chief of all the Forces may be somtimes benighted through the conglomeration of the clouds condensed by our sins Hope may be eclipsed by the interposition of the earth our worldly imaginations betwixt us and that great luminary of heaven the Sun of righteousnesse The century of watchful conscience may be overcome with security Sin is a subtile enemy and his father the Divel wil shew him the opportunity Now is the time of invasion seise on them and cut all their throats What shal repentance now do when faith the great Lady general droops and Hope her Lieutenant general is fainting when the whole century is overcome with slumber Yes there is a watchman in the tower of the soul that doth seldom sleep holy Fear He wakens conscience conscience cals up faith faith rouzeth hope hope cryes aloud to repentance repentance troops all the spiritual forces the martial musick gives the alarm the souldiers are in battel-array the enemies flie the mind is at peace because Gods comforts have delighted the soul 3. One disadvantage more makes dangerous work for repentance The troops of faith are routed one wing of hope is cut off Yet this conquering Queen of the Viragines or maiden-graces alwayes bears up the Rear and never appeares till the day be almost lost When those great Commanders Innocency and Righteousnesse are foiled and beaten and have their Queen the soul in danger to bee taken and slain by sin and Satan her old adversaries Then this Virgo Virago that all this while lay in expectation of the event this martiall Maid victorious Repentance comes in with her Reserve sets upon the conquerors with her fresh forces rescues the Queen our soul puts the great generall Satan to flight and does impartial execution upon all his souldiers which be our
whilst it containes Truth that more lovely soul Truth brings downe heaven to us Peace bears us up to heaven Both are sisters the daughters of one Father God himself Do thou first recover truth by continuall labour seeke it with prayers and teares begg it with the expense of much sorrow buy it and then peace will come in to the bargaine Gods comfort shall again delight thy soul Another complaines I am cast out of doors I have no harbour but the hedges nor lodging but the fruitless ground Poverty hath sent out her excommunication against me all that have an estate are forewarned to shun my company Consider when had Jacob so sweet a nights rest as when the pillow he laid his head upon was a hard stone Then was that ladder set by him by which his soul might climbe up to heaven in a vision whereof before he had but the speculation The Angels were dancing those measures and singing those raptures about him which did in a manner angelifie him His body lay on the bare earth his soul with those spirituall wings of faith and love was mounted above the clouds above the orbs even conversant in the highest heavens When had Elias more excellent provision then when his breakfast was brought him in the morning and his supper in the evening by a raven The messenger was homely but the dyet was heavenly It came from the table of that great King whose hospitality feeds not only men but even the fouls of the air the beasts upon earth and the fishes in the sea The Prophets lodging was but a Field-bed yet even then and there the Lyons were a guard about him the tutelar Angels did round him and the Divine providence preserved him If we be destitute of other lodging and be driven to the common earth yet we have a house over our heads not made with hands but an eternall mansion in the heavens There is also a canopy for us a roof arched over with the two Poles and set with innumerable glistering starrs Yea there is an omnipotent love that protects us a materiall heaven encompassing us and a spirituall heaven within us the peace of a good conscience assuring us of our eternall salvation through Christ Jesus This is a softer lodging then the cabbins of merchants or the Hamachs of sea-farers yea then the most curious beds that the harbengers can provide for Princes O how sweetly doth the Christian rest when he hears that voice from the Oracle of goodnesse My grace is sufficient for thee My comforts shall delight thy soul But anothers complaint is I am perplexed with sicknesse I am a marke against which paine shoots his arrows I wast away with languishments as ice is dissolved by heat into water Rest patient this consumption shall be consumed Death that universall executioner of mankind shall be executed Time shall cut off Death and Eternity shall make an end of Time Death shall have no grave left for his monument or trophee of his victories and the Angel hath sworn that time shall be no more Thy sicknesse may outlast thy Physician but thy soul shall outlive thy sicknesse and nothing shall outlive thy soul But the pangs of my body are so violent that they assault me with distraction Fear not they may beleaguer thee with distrust but never overcome that faith which thou puttest in this God of consolation He is a most faithfull Creator and will servare depositum keep that soul safe with which the beleever hath instrusted him The breaches of the body are the souls windows and afford her a more clear prospect into heaven inkindling her with an ardent desire to be with God in glory Jobs abundant sores would have bred in him a continuity of sorrowes but for that antidote of faith and saving cordiall of hope that his eyes should see his Redeemer in blessednesse The smiling Sunne flatters the traveller out of his cloake whereas the robustious wind causeth him to wrap it the closer about him God forbid that Christian Religion should bee but a cloake yet the outward profession of it is somwhat loosned by wanton healths and sickness wins it more inwardly to the heart Experienced merchants tell us that in the hottest Countreys they find most comfort in the hottest drinks A wonder to us that live in the cold climates but that the Suns adventitions heat so sucks out the radicall moisture and spirits that it leaves the heart feeble and destitute of the naturall comforts It is a maxime in Philosophy that one heat avocates another the greater the lesse The heat of the Sun drawes forth the heat of the heart and leaves it fainting Poor Lazarus with his scraps and scabs was yet in a better condition then the rich man with his Princely Wardrobe and his costly Viands Continued health hath maintained wanton desires and delights upon earth but sicknesse hath sent many souls up to Heaven Yea Lord even with sicknesse afflict my body so that thy Heavenly Comforts do delight my soul It is a generall complaint Afflictions environ me In my short pilgrimage through the sharp wildernesse of this world on the one side the Thorns wound me the Briers and Brambles scratch me on the other This is not only the deserved penalty of sinfull nature Man is born to trouble as the sparks flie upwards But even a kind of fatality inseparable to militant grace All that will live godly in Christ shall suffer persecution That is a rare path upon earth which hath never a rub and a calm passage by water that escapes all molestation But more Be there not some Afflictions that conduce much to our preservation We have found that the falling into one grievous sin the worst of all dangers hath brought us to repentance one of the best preservatives I have heard some Seamen report by experience that in a tempest some raging billow hath swept a man from off the Decks into the maine Ocean yet another wave on the other side hath tossed him up into the ship again so that he was only drenched but not drowned The violent pressure of one Affliction hath sunk a man to distrust in God another with a more furious Storme hath left him destitute of all earthly succour He now resolves the world hath forsaken me I will never look for relief from it But my God hath not forsaken me he never will forsake them that trust in him through Jesus Christ To him I flie upon him I rely he will not suffer me to perish Still O Lord in all my extremities Thy comforts delight my soul Not offering to number mans grievances which be innumerable there is yet the last and it may prove the best complaint remaining I am perplexed with the wofull consideration of my sins those bitter things which God writes against me the irkesome recollection of my transgressions I can argue with Philosophers consult with Politicians hear the ingenious fancies of Poets reason in domestick concernments
the land Then shall the clouds drop fatnesse and the earth run forth into plenty Then do the valleys stand thick with corn land the little hills rejoyce on every side Some drops of blood shed in Justice procure large showers from heaven A few carcases laid in their graves are a rich compost to the earth There can be no peace where blood cryes unheard unregarded but when it is expiated by the blood of the offenders there will bee a cessation of Judgements Phinehas executed judgment and the plâ—gue ceased One contrary is ever cured by another take away the cause and the effect will cease Prayer is very powerfull but doing of Justice more availeable The whole Congregation were at their prayers and those prayers were steeped in tears yet still the plague raged and Gods anger continued But when Phinehas had run those two adulterers through with his Javelin in the act of their sin the plague was stayed So blessed a thing is it for any nation that Justice is impartially executed Thus the universality of sin calls for the universality of repentance or else it will provoke Gods anger to strike us with universall judgements If the whole people be guilty the whole people must fall to deprecation Such was the Nivites repentance every man turning from his evill ways We have sinned even the whole nation and as if we had not sins enough of our own we borrow of our neighbours What nation under heaven do we trade withall from whom the sinnes of that Nation are not brought hither And those are merchandizes that might be well spared Are we all in the transgression and do we lay the burden of repentance upon some few If we expostulate with God Lord hath one man sinned and wilt thou be wrath with the whole Congregation May he not more justly expostulate with us Hath the whole Congregation sinned and is it enough for one man to repent Is the whole garment fowle and must only the skirts be washed Is the whole building ruinous and do we think it a sufficient reparation to patch up one corner of it No the plaister of our repentance must be fully as large as the orifice of our wickednesse or we cannot be healed But stil God wil be angry with us yea though we were his own people For 4. God may be angry with his own people which is the fourth proposition a I will visit their sins with a rod and their iniquity with scourges but my mercy I will not utterly take from them Though he do not take his mercy from them yet he may be angry with them He is our father and never did Father in sweeter terms entertaine the dearest treasures of his blood then God doth us when he vouchsafes to call us His people yet did you never see a father angry with his child Indeed there is great difference between that wrath of God which is toward his own people and that which b comes upon the children of disobedience They differ three ways 1. In respect of continuance his anger upon reprobates is eternall not extinguished with their bloods but pursuing them from earth to hell To his people it is but temporary it lasts but a moment c weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning d He will not alwayes chide nor will he keep his anger for ever When he was very angry with his Idolatrous Israel e Moses does but put him in mind that they were his own people and he was pacified f For a moment in a little wrath he hides his face from us g Rejoyce not against me O mine enemy for though I fall I shall rise again But for the wicked h his wrath abideth on them 2. In respect of the measure It is milder towards his own people then to others For the unrighteous he proportions his Judgements not to their strengths but to their deserts For his own people he proportions his corrections not to their deserts but to their strengths For the former he minds not what they can beare by their powers but what they have deserved by their sinnes For the other he considers not what their sinnes deserve but what their Spirits can sustaine His most bitter wrath to his own people is always sweetned with his mercy i Thou wast a God that forgavest them though thou tookest vengeance of their inventions He brings a scourge in one hand and a pardon in the other and while he draws blood of the flesh he forgives the soul 3. In regard of the end l The wicked are the vessels of wrath and as their sin makes them fit for Gods anger so his anger makes them sit for destruction But for his own people m They are chastened of the Lord that they might not be condemned with the world Whether he inflict upon them punishments for sinne or suffer them to fall into sin for punishments yet all shall work to their good n his corrections are but medicines bringing forth the quiet fruit of righteousnesse He lets them fall into some hainous crime but it is to waken their repentance Small spots upon a garment are not minded we seldome are so curious as to wash out them But when a great spot comes a fowle staine we then scower and elense it to get out that and so wee get out all the little spots too Sinnes of a lesser size never trouble us we mind not the washing out of them with our sorrowfull tears But when a great sin comes and disquiets the conscience then repentance that old landresse is called for and in that lardar we wash out both the great offence and all the rest So God suffers us to fall into some grosse and grievous sinne as a father suffers his little child to burne his finger in the flame that his whole body may not fall into the fire All these differences are exprest by the Prophet Isaiah 1. Forthe time o Doth the ploughman plough all the day to sow God doth not continue ploughing all day long furrows upon our backs but when he hath broken up the fallow grounds of our hearts he thensowes in the seed of his comforts 2. For the measure r Hath he plagued Israel as he hath plagued the enemies of Israel He sinites his Israel in the branches and in the bunches cuts down some of her superfluous boughes and plucks off clusters of her rotten grapes But the wicked he smites at the very root 3. For the end s The fornace of his wrath shall but purge away our drosse and make us pure metall fit for the stampe of his owne Image Yet for all this God hath been grievously angry with his own people Yea their sins anger him most of all because together with wickednesse there is unkindnesse As dearly as he loves them their sinnes may provoke him Our interest in God is so far from excusing our iniquities that it aggravates