by despairing to do otherwise Bless the Lord O my Soul that we are aware of this dangerous mistake And let us not despond though we have no reason to boast and glory in our resolution Was not this the condition of other of the Saints long before I was born Am I the only example of an heavy and sluggish Soul Must I be recorded the first in the Catalogue for inconstancy What helps and assistances then had they to restore themselves and to preserve them to the end which are strangers to our eares Must I dispatch a message to some Forreign Country for their Recipe's as we send for Drugs and Spices Cannot we tell without the charge of going to Hippo what Holy Austine strengthned himself withall Must we take a Pilgrimage to Rome to learn St. Hierome's Medicines Sure my Soul thou hast the same gracious Saviour the same compassionate High-Priest the same cordial promises the very same hope of the Gospel which revived and supported their hearts or if thou hast not speak that I may go and seek them Look then on thy blessed Saviour look on his holy Apostles nay look upon all those excellent Persons in the Church that have succeeded them Shall we not follow such glorious Leaders Are their Examples impossible to be imitated If they be they are not examples How can we be cold when we think of the flames of their love How can we be lazy and unwilling to do when we see how forward how vehemently desirous they were to suffer What should hinder us from going on when we have such a Multitude of Triumphant Souls before our eyes whom nothing could drive back Shall pleasures shall the incumbrance of business shall Relations and Friends yea shall dangers shall Death No I am not inchanted I am not affrighted with these words Be gone you false and deceitful pleasures How dare you perplex me you impertinent imployments No more of your importunity I charge you if you will be my Friends Welcome contempt welcome reproach welcome poverty or any other thing which will certainly bring me nearer to my God But what is it that gives you this suddain confidence How come you of a coward to grow thus couragious Of a Snail who made you thus to mount up in your thoughts like an Eagle Who will believe that thou wilt do such things I will believe it may you answer again to your self whatsoever can be objected against it Why are these called suddain thoughts which are my most deliberate resolutions Through the Lord I shall do valiantly He it is that shall tread down mine enemies under me The like discourse you may have with your self about God or any other subject You may consider not only that he is gracious and merciful but cry out O how great how great is his goodness Is there any thing thou canst name comparable to his loving-kindness What makes thee then so unwilling to go to him What 's the cause of such a diffidence and unbelief as hath deadned and dispirited thine heart Could I think that any thing would make thee fall into this stupidity Didst thou not once look upon him as the first Beauty as the joy the health and the life of our Souls Who is it that is altered and hath suffered a change He or thou Is he not the same to day yesterday and for ever Why shouldest not thou be the same too Or why shouldst thou not think that he will make thee the same again How many times is it repeated in the Book of God that his mercy endureth for ever For whom was it but such trembling Souls as thou that he proclaims himself so often to be abundant in mercy goodness and truth But must we not then believe it Is this the way to obtain his mercy by distrusting of him What a preposterous course is this How unseemly nay how unkind is it to question these gracious declarations of his love Let us be confidently perswaded he hath a greater desire than we that we should be true and faithful to him Let us rest our thoughts in this conclusion that neither death nor life nor Angels nor Principalities nor Powers nor things present nor things to come nor heighth nor depth nor any other Creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Now when you find any benefit by such expostulations and reasonings with your self hope it would do you some good if you should use the like in an humble address to God you may be furnished with several strains of devout Admiration and Pathetical Appeals to his all-seeing Majesty out of the Holy Scriptures There are Examples also of the other but expostulations with God are not to be imitated without much caution and holy fear and ought not to be commonly used It may be sufficient to conclude the foregoing Meditations with some such form of words as this A PRAYER O Lord our Lord how excellent is thy Name in all the Earth who hast set thy glory above the Heavens When I consider thy Heavens the work of thy Fingers the Moon and the Stars which thou hast ordained What is miserable man that thou art mindful of him and the Son of man that thou visitest him For thou hast made him a little lower than the Angels and hast crowned him with Glory and Honour Lord what honour is that which thou hast conferred on him in setting him now in the Person of Jesus above the Angels themselves For to which of the Angels didst thou say at any time Thou art my Son this day have I begotten thee And again Let all the Angels of God worship him Who in the Heaven can be compared unto the Lord Who among the mighty can be likened unto the Lord And therefore whom have I in Heaven but thee and there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee O God thou art my God early will I seek thee My Soul thirsteth for Thee and longeth after Thee O when wilt thou come unto me There be many that say Who will shew us any good Lord lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon me Show me thy self and it sufficeth Lord what wait I for Truly my hope is in Thee My Soul wait thou only upon God for my expectation is from him By thee O Lord have I been holden up from the Womb thou art he that took me out of my Mothers bowels My Praise shall be continually of Thee But who can utter the mighty acts of the Lord Who can shew forth all his praise Many O Lord my God are thy wonderful works which thou hast done and thy thoughts which are to us-ward they cannot be reckoned up in order unto Thee if I would declare and speak of them they are more than can be numbred O how great is thy goodness which thou hast laid up for them that fear Thee which thou hast wrought for them that trust in Thee before the Sons
I forget to look continually towards this Immortal Life And what is that should make me forget it How come I to lose that sense and let go my hopes of Immortal Life O wonderful Love O patient goodness which still waits and attends upon me to remind my Soul of its everlasting bliss May I after so long a time of sleep and such forgetfulness be favoured with a sight of it Will my love and free obedience be yet accepted Awake awake then all the hidden powers of my Soul rise up and call him blessed Who can with-hold his heart from devoting it self affectionately to him With what pleasures can I entertain my self comparable to those which grow out of the hope of Immortal Life Or what service can be unpleasant which is undertaken for so great an happiness The thoughts of it make my Soul light and aërial even under the burden of this Body I feel it drawing me up above from whence when I look down upon all the men of this lower World how do they appear but as so many little Ants busily creeping on a Mole-hill while I sit upon the holy Hill of God O that my mind could dwell there Or since I cannot reach so high a felicity it may never descend from thence but with a lively remembrance of the joys of that Celestial Hope which may bear me up above all the petty temptations of this World For what is it that I labour and toil with such restless thoughts and desires For what am I troubled and discontented Can any thing make him absolutely unhappy who hopes to live for ever with God No I will rejoyce in my Lord always again I say I will rejoyce I will bear at least even all my dulness and listlesness to my duty with a quiet and composed mind in hope one day to be more full of life Here my Pen is very forward and would be running on further than my design will allow And therefore I must restrain it and abbreviate also the remaining Counsels having been so long in some of the foregoing lest instead of a little Book to carry about with you and refresh you I should send you a tedious Volume that will quite tire you Let me only annex before I leave this a Prayer to God which relates to what hath been now said and with which you are not unacquainted A PRAYER O Most Holy and blessed for ever more Who art the most excellent Nature the Perfection of beauty happy in thy self alone and needest not the Company of any of thy Creatures to make thee happier than thou art It is we poor beggarly things that stand in need of thy continued grace and love who art the Father of our spirits the only hope and stay of our hearts the joy and comfort of our life that filling and satisfying good in whom alone our desires can meet with perfect rest and repose The most glorious of all the Heavenly Host can find no higher pleasures than those of loving and praising and obeying thee whose Ministers they are and delight to be in executing the commands of thy holy will in every thing For thy will is guided by the best and most excellent reason and is so propense we see to goodness benignity and charity that all its commands must needs be reasonable and good too and intend the greatest kindness to those that are obedient to them Every Creature in Heaven and Earth and under the Earth and in the Sea obeys thy Almighty Word declaring thee to be as good as thou art great Rev. 5.13 and giving not only glory and power but blessing and honour unto thy Divine Majesty and our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ Yea that blessed Son of thy love when he came into the World freely chose to do thy will and not his own saying I delight to do thy will O my God yea thy Law is within my heart Psal XL. 7. What is there then in Heaven or Earth that I can wish but to be united in hearty devout and chearful affection together with my dearest Saviour and all the Saints and Heavenly Host to that most holy will of thine by a free and constant obedience to it It is infinitely fit and desirable I am sure that we above all the rest of thy Creatures should take a perfect contentment and pleasure in serving thee who hast not only gratified all our senses with great and delightful variety of good things in this World but also sent thy Son from Heaven to entertain our Spirits with joyful hopes of having our weak and short obedience here rewarded with great and endless pleasures at thy right hand in the World to come Lord what is man that thou shouldest have such a regard unto him And what hearts have we if after all thy grace we should delight in any thing more than thee or be weary and faint in our minds while we are doing thy blessed will O how deeply should we have been indebted to thee if thou hadst only admitted us to the happiness of knowing and loving thee and complying with thy good will while we dwell in this body But that thou shouldest design when we expire to recompense the meer discharge of our duty here with the continued happiness of being with thee and enjoying thee for ever is an expression of thy bounty that exceeds all our wonder and admiration If a full sense of this thy stupendious goodness should now possess our spirits they would grow I believe too big and large for our bodies and bursting forth in passionate love would make their way into Eternity which only is wide and long enough to admire and love and praise thee in But be pleased O Lord of love in thy infinite goodness to give me at present such a true and lively feeling of it as may make me think of nothing so much or with so much delight and satisfaction of heart and as may inflame me with such a fervent love unto thee that it may melt and dissolve my will into thine and consume all my corrupt desires and abate at least the chilness and indifference of my spirit and offer me up a whole burnt Sacrifice to thee my God And then stay I most humbly beseech thee for the fulness of my love and praises and joyful acknowledgments till I come to that happy liberty of having nothing else to do but to love and thank and magnifie thy Name for ever and ever It is my daily and repeated desire according as our Lord hath taught us that thy will may be done in Earth as it is in Heaven to which both now and ever I say most heartily Amen O purge and refine my nature to such a degree of vertue and goodness that I may at least delight to do thy will as those heavenly Creatures do O that those little little acts of Piety and Charity which I am able to exercise in this World may never want this complacence in the performance of them
Liquor which by long labour and many Operations you have fetcht out of a number of excellent Herbs or Spices or other rare Ingredients For though you must not have recourse to them every day yet there may be a season you see when they will do you so high a pleasure that you may owe your life or your chearfulness to them They may stand you at least in so much stead as to preserve you from utter distast of your self and despair of Gods favour when you are apt to droop nay sink under the weight of your Body or any other load that lies very heavy upon you Chear up your Soul then with some of its own sublimer thoughts and turning your self to the Father of Mercies say A PRAYER O My God What pledges of thy Love are these which I have received already from Thee How precious are thy thoughts towards me and how dear and precious have they been in mine eyes O how great is the summe of them I see I see how gracious thou art I am not without many tokens of thy readiness to help me and of thy kind intentions to promote me by patient continuance in my duty to everlasting happiness O how sweet is the remembrance of that time when thou wast pleased to visit me and inspire my heart with devout affections to thee How joyful hast thou made me with the light of thy countenance which is better than life it self Accept of such thanks as I am now able to offer thee for thy abundant goodness to me Blessed be thy goodness that I have not lived all my days as a stranger to thee that my Soul hath not always grovelled on the earth but been lifted up sometime unto Heaven Blessed be thy goodness that it hath not lay'n continually as a barren Wilderness but been fruitful in some good thoughts and pious affections and zealous resolutions and worthy designs to do thee honour and service in the World O that this remembrance of thy past loving-kindness and of the powerful operations of thy holy Spirit in my heart may at this time mightily move and excite me to the like devout expressions of my love to thee O that I may feel it renewing my strength or reviving my Spirit at least to a comfortable hope in thee that thou wilt never utterly forsake me There is all reason I confess most thankfully that I should confide in thee and wait upon thee still with a stedfast faith for fresh influences from Heaven to make me howsoever persevere with a constant mind notwithstanding all the discouragements I conflict withall in a careful and exact observance of all thy commands This I know is the best proof of my love to thee And therefore help me as to pray always so to exercise my self in works of mercy to do justly to be clothed with humility to preserve my body and soul in purity and to discharge all the duties of my place and relations with an upright heart willing mind And when thou graciously vouchsafest to enlarge my Spirit in abundance of delightful thoughts of thee and to raise me to the highest pitch of love to thee O that it may not only please me but make me better Lift me up thereby above all the temptations of this World and quicken me to be the more fruitful in all good works and to excell in vertue to increase especially and abound so much in love towards my Brethren and towards all Men that my Heart may be established unblameable in Holiness before Thee my God and Father 1 Thess 3.12 at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ with all his Saints Amen VIII AND here I cannot but commend to you frequent Meditation and serious consideration which you might expect to have heard of before as of singular use for the continuance either of your diligence or of those delectable affections in it For the Soul is a thing so entire in it self that if one part be strongly moved the other will be so too just as when the Nave of a Wheel turns round it makes the outermost circumference to circle about with it Much is said by many on this subject and therefore I shall only direct you how to Meditate when you are dull and unfit as you imagine for any thoughts When we discourse you know with a Servant and desire to affect him with what we say if he be stupid and heavy and seems not at all to be concerned in our words then we are wont to make use of interrogations beseechings objurgations exclamations corrections of our selves admirations and such like ways to rouse his apprehension For we find that if an object touches any of our senses gently and softly we mind it not while we are intent upon other matters but if it strikes us with some smartness and comes with a vehemency and importunity it alarmes the whole Soul and makes it not only hear but demand what 's the matter And thus it is in our discourses if they barely present themselves before Mens Souls that are otherwise ingaged they regard them not unless by some such form of speech as I have mentioned they put on some sharpness and be armed with some Authority If we speak for example to one that hath committed a fault in such terms as these Indeed you are very much to blame You ought not to have done thus it is contrary both to God and to your self the World will cry shame of you no body will endure you c. He stands perhaps as if he were marble and had been composed of insensible materials But if we say what did you mean when you did such or such an action Whither were your wits and your conscience gone Could you do thus and not tremble at Gods displeasure Nay answer me do you think that God is an Idol who regards you not and cannot strike Oh that any Man should be so sottish that he should be such an ill Friend to himself Ill Friend did I say such a desperate Enemy I meant such a fury such a Devil to his own Soul c. This kind of language it is likely may make him seem a Man one that is made of flesh and not of stone In such like manner then may you learn to Meditate alone by discoursing with your own Soul after the way of expostulation chiding reprehension and such like wherein there is great variety and therefore great easiness and no less pleasure It was a more awakening expression for David to say Why art thou cast down O my Soul and why art thou disquieted within me XLII Psal 5 than if he had only said I do not do well to be dejected on this fashion it is to no purpose to afflict and trouble my self far better and more seemly were it for me to rest contented And the repetition of this again V. 11. and XLIII 5 gives it a greater force and adds a sharper edge to it than if it had been but a single question And