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A18193 The lamentacion of a synner, made by ye most vertuous Ladie, Quene Caterin, bewayling the ignoraunce of her blind life: set furth and put in print at the instaunt desire of the righte gracious ladie Caterin duchesse of Suffolke, [and] the earnest requeste of the right honourable Lord, William Parre, Marquesse of North Hampton Catharine Parr, Queen, consort of Henry VIII, King of England, 1512-1548.; Burghley, William Cecil, Baron, 1520-1598. 1547 (1547) STC 4827; ESTC S108944 34,896 122

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secretes as were not cōuenient mete to vtter to men but counted all hys workes doinges as nothing to winne Christ. And I most presūptuously thinking nothing of Christ crucified went about to set furth mine owne righteousnes saying w t the proude Pharisey Good lord I thanke y e I am not like other mē I am none adulterer nor fornicatour so furth w t suche like wordes of vaynglory extollyng my self dispising others working as an hired seruaunt for wagies orels for reward not as a louing childe ōly for very loue w tout respect of wagies or reward as I ought to haue done neyther did I cōsidre howe beneficiall a father I had who dyd shewe me his charitie mercie of his owne mere grace goodnes y e when I was most his ennemie he sent his only begottē welbeloued Sonne into thys world of wretchednes misery to suffre most cruel sharpe deathe for my redempcion But my hart was so stony hard y t this great benefite was neuer truly liuely printed in my hart although w t my wordes it was oftē rehearsed thinking my selfe to be sufficiently instructed in y e same and being in dede in blind ignorance And yet I stoode so wel in mine owne iudgement opiniō y t I thought it vayne to seke y e encreace of my knowlege therin Paule calleth Christe the wisedome of god and euen the same Christe was to me folishnes my pryde blindnes disceyued me the hardnes of my hart withstode the growing of truthe within it Suche were the fruites of my carnall and humane reasons to haue rotten ignoraunce in pryce for rype and seasonable knowlege Suche also is the malice wickednes that possesseth the hertes of men suche is the wisedome and pleasing of the fleshe I professed Christe in my baptisme whē I beganne to liue but I swarued from him after baptisme in continuaunce of my lyuing euen as the heithen whiche neuer had begunne Christe was innocent and voyde of all sinne and I wallowed in fylthie sinne was free from no sinne Christe was obedient vnto his father euē to the death of the crosse I disobedient and most stubburne euen to the confusion of truthe Christ was meke and humble in harte and I moste proude and vaynegloryous Christe dispised the worlde with all the vanities therof and I made it my god bicause of y e vanities Christ came to serue his bretheren I coueted to rewle ouer thē Christe dispysed worldlye honor and I much delited to attayne the same Christ loued the base and simple thinges of the world and I estemed the moste fayre and pleasant thinges Christe loued pouertie and I welth Christ was gentle and merciful to the poore and I hard harted vngentle Christe prayed for his enemies I hated mine Christ reioysed in y e conuercion of sinners I was not greued to see their reuerciō to sinne By this declaraciō all creatures may perceyue howe farre I was from Christ w tout Christe yea how cōtrary to Christ although I bare y e name of a Christian. In so muche y t if any mā had sayde I had ben w tout Christe I woulde haue stifly withstande the same And yet I neyther knewe Christ nor wherfore he came As concernyng the effecte and pourpose of his comming I had a certayne vayne blind knowlege both cold dead which may ●e had with al sinne as it doth playnly appere by this my confession open declaraciō What cause nowe haue I to lament mourne sigh wepe for my life time so euil spent w t howe much humilitie lowlines ought I to cum knowlege my sinnes to god geuing hī thākes y t it hath pleased hym of his haboundaunt goodnes to geue me time of repentaunce for I know my sinnes in y e consideracion of thē to be so greuouse in y e number so exceding y t I haue deserued very oftē eternal damnaciō And for the deseruing of goddes wrath so manifoldlie due I must vncessantly geue thankes to the mercy of god beseching also that y e same delay of punishment cause not his plage to be the sorer since mine own cōscience condēneth my former doinges But his mercy excedeth al iniquitie and if I shuld not thus hope Alas what should I seke for refuge cōfort no mortal man is of power to help me for the multitude of my sinnes I dare not lyft vp myne eyes to heauen where the seate of iudgement is I haue so muche offended god What shal I fal in desperacion nay I wyll call vpon Christ the light of the worlde the fountayne of life the releife of al carefull and the peacemaker betwene god and man and the only health and comforte of al true repentant sinners He can by his almighty power saue me delyuer me out of this miserable state and hath will by his mercy to saue euen the whole sinne of y e world I haue no hope nor confidence in any creature neyther in heauen nor earth but in Christe my whole and only Sauiour He came into the worlde to saue sinners and to heale them that are sicke for he sayeth the whole haue no nede of a Phisicion Beholde lord howe I come to the a sinner sycke greuously wounded I aske not breade but the crummes that fall from the childrens table Cast me not oute of thy sight although I haue deserued to be cast in to hell fier If I shoulde looke vpon my sinnes and not vpō thy mercy I shoulde dispayre for in my selfe I fynde nothing to saue me but a donghill of wyckednes to condemne me if I shoulde hope by myne owne strength and power to cum oute of thys mase of iniquitie and wickednes wherin I haue walked so long I shoulde be disceyued For I am so ignorant blinde weake feble that I cannot bring my selfe out of this intangled weyward mase but y e more I seke meanes wayes to wind my selfe out the more I am wrapped tangled therin So y t I perceyue my striuing therin to be hynderance my trauayle to be labour spent in going backe It is the hand of y e lord that can will bring me out of this endles mase of death for without I be preuented by the grace of the lorde I can not aske forgeuenes nor be repentante or sory for thē There is no man can auowe that Christe is the only Sauiour of the world but by the holy ghost yea as Saynt Paule sayeth no man can say the lorde Iesus but by the holy ghost The spirit helpeth our infirmities and maketh continuall intercession for vs with suche soroful groninges as can not be expressed Therfore I wyll first require and pray the lorde to
geue me his holy spirit to teache me to auowe that Christ is the sauiour of the worlde and to vtter these wordes the lorde Iesus and finally to helpe myne infirmities and to intercede for me For I am mooste certayne suer that no creature in heauen nor earth is of power or can by any meane helpe me but god who is omnipotent almighty beneficyall and mercyfull wel willing and louing to all those that call and put their whole confidence and trust in hym And therfore I wil seke non other meanes nor aduocate but Christes holy spirite who is only the Aduocat and mediatour betwene god and man to helpe and relyue me But nowe what maketh me so bolde hardy to presume to cum to the lord with suche audacitie boldnes beyng so greate a Sinner trulye nothinge but hys owne woorde for he sayeth Cum to me al ye that labour and ar burdened and I shall refresshe you What gentle mercyfull cōfortable wordes ar ●hese to all sinners were he not a frantick mad beastly folysh man that would runne for ayde helpes or refuge to any other creature What a most gracious comfortable and ge●tle saying was this w t suche pleasant and swete wordes to allure his enemies to cū vnto him Is there any worldlie prince or magistrate that woulde shewe suche clemencie mercie to their disobedient and rebellious subiectes hauyng offended theym I suppose they woulde not with suche woordes allure thē excepte it were to calle theym whom they can not take punishe theym beyng takē But euen as Christe is Prince of Princes and lorde of lordes so his charitie mercy excedeth surmounteth all others Christ saith if carnall fathers do geue good giftes to their childrē whē they aske them howe muche more shall your heauenly father being in substance al holie most highly good geue good giftes to all them that aske hym It is no smal nor litle gift that I require neyther thinke I my selfe worthy to receyue suche a noble gift being so ingrate vnkinde and wicked a chylde But when I behold the benignitie liberalitie mercy and goodnes of the lorde I I am encoraged boldened and stirred to aske suche a noble gift The lorde is so bountefull and lyberall that he will not haue vs satisfyed and contented with one gyft neyther to aske simple and small giftes And therfore he promiseth and bindeth him selfe by hys worde to geue good and beneficiall giftes to all them that aske hym with true fayth without whiche nothing can be doen acceptable or pleasing to god For fayth is the foundacion and grounde of all other giftes vertues and graces and therfore I wil saye Lord encreace my fayth For this is the life euerlastynge lord that I must beleue the to be the true god whom thou didest sende Iesu Christ. By this fayth I am assured and by thys assurance I fele the remission of my sinnes this is it that maketh me bold this is it that cōforteth me this is it that quencheth all dispayre I knowe O my lorde thy eyes looke vpō my fayth Saynt Paule sayeth we be iustified by the fayth in Christe not by the deades of the lawe For if rightwisenes cum by the lawe then Christ died in vayne S. Paule meaneth not here a dead humain historical fayth gottē by humain industrie but a supernall liuelye fayth which worketh by charitie as he him selfe plainly expresseth This dignitie of fayth is no dirogaciō to good workes for oute of this fayth springeth all good workes Yet we may not impute to the worthines of fayth or workes our Iustificaciō before god but ascribe and geue the worthynes of it wholy to the merites of Christes passion and referre and attrybute the knowlege and perceyuyng therof onely to fayth whose very true only propertie is to take apprehende and holde fast the promyses of goddes mercie the whiche maketh vs rightwise and to cause me continually to hope for the same mercy and in loue to worke all manner of wayes allowed in the scripture that I may be thankfull for the same Thus I feele my selfe to cū as it were in a newe garment before god and nowe by his mercye to be taken iuste and rightwise whiche of late without hys mercy was sinfull and wicked and by fayth to obteyne his mercy the whiche the vnfaythfull can not enioye And although Saint Iohn extolleth charitie in hys Epistle saying that god is charitie and he that dwelleth in charitie dwelleth in god Truly charitie maketh menne liue lyke aungelles And of the most furious vnbrydled carnall men maketh meke lambes Yea w t howe feruent a spirite ought I to call crye pray to the lorde to make his greate charitie to burne and flame in my harte being so stonye and euyll affected that it neuer woulde conceyue nor regard the greate inestimable charitie and loue of god in sending hys only begotten and dere beloued Sonne into this vale of miserie to suffre the moste cruell sharpe death of the crosse for my redēcion Yet I neuer had this vnspeakable speakeable and most high charitie and abundant loue of god printed fixed in my hart dulye tyll it pleased god of hys mere grace mercy pitie to opē myne eyes makyng me to see and beholde with the eye of liuely fayth Christ crucified to be myne only sauiour and redemer For then I beganne and not before to perceyue and see myne owne Ignoraunce and blindnes the cause therof was that I woulde not learne to knowe Christ my Sauiour and redemer But when god of hys meere goodnes had thus opened myne eyes made me see and behold Christ the wisdome of GOD the light of the world with a supernatural sight of fayth All pleasures vanities honour riches welth and aydes of the world beganne to waxe bitter vnto me thā I knewe it was no illusion of the deuill nor false ne humain doctrine I had receyued whē suche successe came therof that I had in detestaciō horrour y t which I erste so muche loued estemed being of god forbidden that we shoulde loue the worlde or the vayne pleasures shadowes in the same Thā begā I to perceyue y t Christe was my only Sauiour redemer the same doctrine to be al diuine holy heauēly infused by grace into the hartes of y e faythful which neuer cā be atteyned by humayne doctrine wit nor reasō although they should trauayle and labour for the same to th end of y e world Then began I to dwel in god by charitie knowing by the louyng charitie of god in the remission of my sinnes that god is charitie as Saint Iohn sayth So that of my faythe wherby I came to knowe god and wherby it pleased god euen because