healeth Ex 15.26 Psl 6.2 Have mercy therfore upon mee ô Lord for I am weake ô Lord heale mee for my bones are vexed Ps 41.3 Ier 17.14 Strengthen mee now upon my bed of languishing make thou all my bed in my sicknesse Heale mee o Lord and I shall be healed save mee and I shall be saved for thou art my praise c 30.12 O let not my bruise be incurable though my wound be grievous Let mee have one to pleade my cause vers 13 even that Holy One thine onely begotten Sonne that hee may bind mee up and give mee healing medicines Thou art hee who didst promise Iacob to correct him in measure vers 11 though not to leave him altogether unpunished Thou rebukest mee for my sinne Ps 39.11 and makest my beauty to consume away like as it were a moath fretting a garment These Markes in my flesh doe cause a trembling even in my spirit Rev 13.17 Ps 86.16 Lord graunt that upon my soule be not found the marke of the beast but the marke of thy sonne that hee may owne mee for his O turne thou unto mee and have mercy upon mee give thy strength unto thy servant and save thy distressed hand-mayd Shew now some good token for good vers 17 that it may appeare unto the world that thou Lord doest helpe mee and comfort mee But if in thy secret purpose thou hast decreed at this time to gather mee unto my fathers make mee with joy comfort to render mine account unto thee the Lord of heaven earth Looke not upon the sinnes and offences of my misse-led life but rather looke upon my Redeemer's death Is 53.5 who was wounded for my transgressions bruised for mine iniquites the chastisement of my peace was layed upon him by his stripes therfore let mee be healed In the midst of the streete of thy throne ô God Reu 22.2 of either side of the river of life there is a tree of life bearing twelve manner of fruits and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations O my God let mee but come to tast of those fruits let mee but be shaded under the leaves of that tree of life Ps 41.4 Ps 103 1. Be mercifull unto mee heale my soule for I have sinned against thee Then shall my soule blesse thee O my Lord and all that is within mee shall praise thy holy name who forgivest all mine iniquities vers 3. and canst heale my diseases Into thine hands I commend my spirit Ps 31.5 for thou hast redeemed mee ô Lord thou God of trueth The Spirit and the bride say Come Reu 22.17 therfore let mee who now heare it say Come Let mee heare thy voyce ô God Gen 3.8 in the coole of the day not in the heate of thy displeasure And thou ô my Iesus who for such sinners wert made a sacrifice on the altar of the crosse how downe thine eare as thou didst upon the tree and heare and fullfill the desires of thy wounded supplicant Come ô Iesus and embrace mee in thine armes hide mee in thy wounded side from the wrath of thy father In thee alone doe I trust to thee alone doe I flee succour mee helpe mee save mee O Christ The world I leave to thee I come At the doore of thy mercy doe I knock I call I cry Lord protect mee Iesus comfort mee Strengthen my faith and confirme my hope As my earthly body draweth neerer to the earth so doe thou draw my soule up neerer unto thee who art the father of spirits Heb 12 9. O God make speede to save mee O Lord make hast to helpe mee Finish soone these dayes of sinne and then let mee enter into thy celestiall paradice and that for his sake in whom alone thou art well pleased even Iesus Christ my onely Mediatour and Redeemer Amen subject 16 THE SIXTEENTH SUBjECT Teares of a Mother for the sicknesse of her child The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray IT shall come to passe saith Moses to the house of Israel if thou wilt not hearken to the voyce of the Lord thy God Deut 28.15 to observe to doe all his commandements and his statutes which I command thee this day that all these curses shall come upon thee and overtake thee vers 16 Cursed shalt thou be in the citty and cursed shalt thou be in the field Cursed shall be thy basket and thy store vers 17 yea Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body c. vers 18 What all these curses from heaven for the sins of poore distressed mortalls O what a multitude of evills doe our sinnes deserve What punishment doeth not iniquitie cry for It cryeth for the curse of the citty the decay of trading the curse of the field whole rivers of blood in furious battailes the curse of the basket and the store the dearth of provisions Yet all these are but outward punishments and reflect onely upon the baser the worse part of our selves the body but Cursed shall be the fruit of the body oh this biteth like a Serpent stingeth like a Cockatrice Prov 23.32 The fruit of my body Is afflicted with sicknesse but is the sinne of the parent the cause of his affliction Yes yes my conscience acknowledgeth the guilt let my tongue be as ready to confesse it and my heart to repent of it But how standeth this with the justice of the Creatour Gen 18.25 Shall not the judg of all the earth doe right The Prophet Ezekiel telleth mee from God that The sonne shall not beare the iniquity of the father Eze 18 20. Mich 7 6. Ier 9.20 neither shall the father beare the iniquity of the sonne but the soule that sinneth it shall dye Else the daughter might rise up against her mother as saith the Prophet and the women by reason of the vengeance due for their sinnes might teach their daughters wayling c 31.29 Rom 3 4. if the sowre grapes which the parents have eaten should set their childrens teeth on edge But let God be true and every man a lyar that hee may be justified in his sayings and may over-come when hee is judged Hee it is who hath threatned to visit the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate him The sinne is mine Ex 20.5 but the punishment is mine infant's againe the sinne is mine infant's and the punishment is mine And yet farther The sinne is of and from both and the punishment is inflicted upon both His sufferance is my sorrow and his paines my distresse Lord what a due reward of sinne is punishment My child as yet it may be knoweth not sinne and yet is hee punished
greater them all these the feare of displeasing my gratious protectour bring mee back againe and keepe mee at home I would not be un-charitable but I must not be desperate Well then I am resolved what I will doe I will with Solomon goe to the houses of mourning the houses of the visited yet not in body but in mind and in purse I will pittie them and I will send reliefe unto them I dare not goe in person but I will goe in affection and for my neighbours groaning under the evill of punishment and for my selfe burdened with the evill of sinne I will feede upon my teares day and night I must grieve for my selfe in particular and yet I must not be so unkindly coveteous as to keepe my teares onely for my selfe In publike calamities those who shed noe teares may be justly suspected to have noe bowells I find my selfe not un-apt to weepe for I am prompted to that by the weakenesse of my disposition And yet I suspect my selfe I am jealous of my selfe that my teares doe rather flow from my feare of infection then from a fellow-feeling of the miseries which the infected suffer To heighten therfore my mourning and to justifie it by my compassion I will propose to my selfe the examples of others such as I find recorded in the word of my God example 1 When the destruction of the Iewes was neere at hand the Lord called upon them by the mouth of his Prophet saying Consider yee Ier 9.17 and call for the mourning women that they may come and send for cunning women that they may come And let them make hast vers 18 and take up a wayling for us that our eyes may runne downe with teares and our eye-lids gush out with waters vers 19 for a voyce of wayling is heard out of Zion How are wee spoyled c. The women were commanded to heare the word of the Lord vers 20 and their eares to receave the word of his mouth they were to teach their daughters wayling and every one her neighbour lamentation vers 21 For death was come up into their windowes and entered into their pallaces to cutt off the children from without and the young men from their streetes vers 22 Even the carkeises of men did fall as dung upon the field and as the handfull after the harvest-man and none did gather them The case is now with us as it was then with the Iewes Alasse how are wee spoyled too How is death come up into our windowes by the infectious aire How doe our children dye and our young men fall Our children which know not the cause and our young men that trusted in the strength of their youth O how doe the carkeises of men fall as dung upon the open field as the hand-full after the harvest man and yet there are none to gather them up They perish without because either there is not roome enough left with in doores for them or not people alive to attend them in their sicknesse or not people of strength enough to un-lock the doores or not meanes for their sustenance if they enter in Thus necessitie driveth them into the fields and there mortalitie seizeth upon them where noe person is found to burie their bodies noe bearers to carie them to the surfeited earth noe friends to bewayle the losse of their lives and noe Christians to cover them from their gazing spectatours the verie fowles of the aire and the beastes of the field What heart would not breake what eye would not weepe what soule would not lament for this sad visitation Lam 1.16 For these things with Ieremiah will I weepe mine eye mine eye shall runne downe with water because the comforter which should relieve our soules is farre from us example 2 The Lord hath throwne downe Ierusalem saith the Prophet and hath not pittied Lam 2.17 and hee hath caused their enemie to rejoyce over them hee hath sett up the horne of their adversarie vers 18 Their heart cryed unto the Lord O wall of the daughter of Zion let teares runne downe like a river day and night give thy selfe noe rest let not the apples of thine eyes cease Arise vers 19 cry out in the night in the beginning of the watches powre out thine heart like water before the face of the Lord lift up thy hands towards him for the life of thy young children that faint in the topp of every streate vers 1. Even thus hath the Lord covered us allso with a clowde in his anger as then hee did the daughter of Zion and cast downe from heaven unto the earth the beautie of our Israël and remembred not his foote stoole in the day of his anger An enemie destroyeth and rejoyceth over us but such an enemie it is as neither can heare nor will spare The verie aire which was created to coole the flames of our scorching hearts is so poisoned with the infection that the more wee make of it the lesse wee our selves are made by it the closer wee seate it even to and in our hearts the neerer doth the infection approach our spirits The corrupted aire shall be therfore cleansed by the thick groanes that shall flye from my heavy heart and be purified with the thunder of my lowdest cryes With Moab in the prophesie Is 15.2 vers 3. I will howle over Nebo and over Medeba In the streetes let every one gird himselfe with sack-cloth on all their heads let there be baldnesse on the toppes of our houses and in our streetes let every one howle â—er 48.4 weeping aboundantly for wee are destroyed for our litle ones have caused a cry to be heard Oh our sucklings that cry for milke from the breast suck in destruction when they expect their nourishment For these things with Ierusalem I will weepe sore in the night in this night of a generall affliction Lam 1.2 my teares shall be on my cheekes because among all our lovers there is none to comfort us example 3 At the finall desolation of the house of Israël Eze 7.16 the Prophet tould them that They that fled away of them should escape and should be on the mountaines like Doves of the valleys all of them mourning every one for his iniquitie All hands should be feeble vers 17 and all knees should be weake as water vers 18 They should allso gird themselves with sack-cloth and horrour should cover them and shame should be upon all their faces and baldnesse upon their heads Lord what a time of mourning should here be What a time of horrour Destruction is threatned and whom destruction missed mourning should over-take feeblenesse should follow weakenesse should pursue horrour should cover Oh that verie time is come now upon us that prophesie is fullfilled in our Israel Here is noe sword to slay us noe fierie engines of a hellish invention to murder us noe men to take us captives
to submit with cheerefullnesse to this thy chastisement and to repent mee of my sinnes which brought this affliction Were it not just for mee to make my complaint in the bitternesse of my sorrowes thou wouldest not have commanded Zion to lament like a virgin girded with sack-cloth for the husband of her youth Thou Lam 1.8 ô Lord doest behould my sorrow and the griefe of my heart because thou hast taken from mee the desire of mine eyes Eze 24 16. and the joy of my heart Be pleased ô my God so to open the eyes of my soule and understanding that I may see as cleerely the cause of thy stroake as I am sensible of the losse of him that was my guide Though hee was sent to be the head of my body yet thou ô God didst offer thy selfe to be the husband of my soule but to my shame I must confesse that I followed the stepps of Samaria Eze 16 45. of Sodome and of Ierusalem and loathed thee my Lord and my husband justly therfore mightest thou say of mee as thou once didst speake of the church of the Iewes Hos 2.2 Shee is not my wife neither am I her husband But ô thou father of mercies for give my back-slidings and adde not affliction to affliction lest I faint under thy rod. Is 47.9 Spirituall widow-hood was a curse which once thou didst threaten unto Babylon ô let it not fall upon mee Allthough thou hast taken him that was my husband yet be pleased to betroth mee to thy selfe for ever Hos 2.19 Say unto mee Ruchama thou hast obtained mercy vers 16 vers 19 and let mee answer thee Baali and Ishi my Lord and my husband Betroath mee unto thee in righteousnesse and in judgment and in loving-kindnesse vers 20 and in mercyes and in faithfullnesse and make mee know thee to be my Lord. 2. Cor 11.2 Send a Paul to espouse mee to one husband that so I may be presented as a chast virgin unto Christ. Give mee grace to doe as once thou commandedst the widowes of Edom Ier 49.11 1. Tim 5.5 even to trust in thee Though now I am desolate yet make mee for ever to trust in thee my God and continue in supplications and prayers night and day Thus let my sorrow be sanctified and my trust and confidence reposed in thee that so I may serve thee with cheerefullnesse endure thy visitation with patience and in the end that I may goe to that place where I trust thou hast crowned my husband and where my Saviour is certainly gone before even to the Kingdome of happinesse and that through the merits and intercession of the same Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 20 THE TWENTIETH SUBJECT A woman's teares at the funer all of her husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Sarah dyed in Kiriath-Arba Abraham stood up from before his deceased wife Gen 23 3. and spake unto the sonnes of Heth vers 4. saying I am a stranger and a sojourner with you give mee a possession and a burying place with you that I may bury my dead out of my fight Though hee so tenderly affected her whilest shee was living yet hee would not looke to long on her when shee was dead It is a duety as full of humanitie to interre with decency the bodies of the dead as it is of religion to love the persone when they are alive Yet vaine is man in this affection if hee fixeth his love onely on the beautie of the body This flesh which is so tender this skinne which I strive to preserve both smooth and white must one day be a banquet for the loathed wormes Noe greater priviledg belongeth to mee then did to my hushand for the time will come when I shall follow him to the earth Had I loved onely his outward forme my love should now either quite be forgotten or else I should fondly defire to deny it interment but it was his body enlivened with a rich and excellent soule which drew mine affection and commanded my desires Had that soule and body continued their societie I had beene freed from my laments but they have bid fare-well 'till the generall resurrection and hence am I enforced to utter my complaints I weepe for my losse because wee are divorced but ô what conflicts then can I imagine that hee had wheÌ„ hee was not onely to part from his indeared wife but likewise his soule was to leave this chillowed â—earth Oh for him for him for my losse of him doe I pay the tribute of these watering eyes Yet these teares must not flow in too greate aboundance lest by them I should seeme to envy his happinesse Even when his body shall be layed to sleepe in the grave if I mourne too much it will be justly suspected that too much I loved the worst of my husband His soule which was his best is now in perfection and may not be lamented his body which is the worse and grosser part of him is now to be committed to the earth whence it came Thither it must goe to that place I must commend it otherwise my former love may be turned into loathing and that which I esteemed when it was alive I shall be forced to abhorre if I keepe it from the grave O it grieveth mee each minuit that I thinke of my deerest it troubleth and perplexeth mee with disturbed thoughts when I consider how servently I loved him yet cannot enliven him But these are onely the fond conceptions of an erring phantisie and tell mee that I loved him more then I should or else now I would not grieve so much as I doe If my love to God be so greate as I pretend I shall thankfully acknowledg his love to the departed O let it never be said that my love was idolatrie in affecting him too much who is but dust and ashes But why sit I museing in these pensive thoughts when I should rather prepare for the buriall of the dead Have I taken a course for the place of his rest where his cold body may be layed to sleepe This is a duety which every age hath beene carefull to performe It was a greater argument of Iehojakim's furie against Vryah the Prophet Ier. 26.23 that hee cast his dead body into the graves of the common people then that hee slew him with the sword It hath allso beene a testimonie of God's revenge when hee suffered not the dead to have a decent interment Eccl 6.3 If a man beget an hundred children saith the Preacher and live many yeeres so that the dayes of his yeeres be many and his soule be not filled with good and allso that hee have noe buriall I say that an untimely birth is better then hee VVhen the
fidelitie nor his religion could preserve him from the sentence of a temporall death O what would I not doe to call him back againe What would I not give to have him restored to life againe But all that I can either doe or give cannot perswade his soule to returne back to its prison Were I the most rich and wealthie in the world yet could not my treasures urchase his returne Noe noe I am well assured of the trueth of the Psalmist who saith that They who trust in their wealth Ps 49.6 and boast themselves in the multitude of their riches vers 7. none of them can by any meanes redeeme his brother nor give to God a ransome for him Well then seing that I cannot fetch him from the grave I will yet send up my sighes towards the place where hee is blessed This I may doe without any check either of reason or religion It was a curse which God did Inflict upon Iehojakim for his sinnes Ier 22.17 even for his coveteousnesse for his oppression and for his violence vers 18 That they should not lament for him saying Ah my brother But on the contrarie when Deborah though she was but Rebeckah's nurse was buried beneath Bethel under an oake Gen 35.8 the name of it was called Allon-Bachuth the oake of weeping When the enemies of David were sisited with sicknesse Ps 35.14 hee behaved himselfe as though they had beene his friends or his brethren yea hee bowed downe heavily as one that mourneth for his mother But hee who now is dead was not mine enemie but my friend yea and noe common friend but a brother yea and not a brother in the flesh so much as in affection even as deare as a mother why then should I not sorrow for the losse of such a brother I will grieve I will lament when I remember the love and the courtesies which hee shewed unto mee and I will speake in the language of the Church to Christ and say O thou that wert my brother Cant 8.1 that sucked the breasts of my mother when I should find thee without I would kisse thee yet I should not be despised I will lament him as David did Saul and Ionathan and say 2. Sam. 1.19 vers 23 vers 26 The beautie of Israël is dead hee was lovely and pleasant in his life I am distressed for thee my brother very pleasant hast thou beene unto mee thy love to mee was wonderfull passing the love of women But what advantage to the dead are the teares of the living Can my sighes inspire life into his bosome Can a draught of my teares fetch him back againe to life O noe 't is this 't is this therfore that doeth heighten and increase my sorrowes even that my teares cannot recover him whom I lament But cease fond woman cease thy sobbs and cryes of discontent By the extreamitie of thy passion thou mayst hasten to his grave yet if thâ—… murderest thy selfe with excessive sorrow thy soule may be deprived of the locietie of his 'T is true indeede 't is most true Litle can I expect to come to heaven if I violently force my selfe from the earth Why then doe I take on as if I either suspected his happinesse or doubted of following him What comfore can it bring to his body of earth to have iâ— cabined in the grave with his dispersing asheâ— The dust of both of us may mixe in the vault and yet noe joy arise to our senselesse asher If his earth was that which drew mine affertion I see my fondnesse in the corruption of that earth but if his gracious soule was the object of my love I must strive to come where that surviveth To heaven hee 's gone and to heaven I 'll hasten and because I will goe the surest way I will walke in those paths which faith and patience shall direct mee in I will noe more disturbe the peace of my mind since that cannot helpe mee to the companie of him Weepe indeede I doe I am enforced unto it 't is the law of nature 't is an act of necessitie I cannot avoide it Yet though I weepe I will labour for content and since my God as I undoubtedly believe hath beene pleased to crowne my brother with glory I will beseech him to comfort mee here with his grace I will not immoderately weepe lest I injure my selfe I will not Weepe without hope lest I offend my Maker but that I may weepe as I should and hope as I ought live as I am required I will humble my selfe at the feete of him to whom my brother is gone and I will pray unto him and say The Prayer ALl mighty God ever-lasting father Is 9.6 thou in whom wee live and move and have pur beeing be pleased to take pittie upon thy distressed servant grieving for the losse of a â—eloved brother Thou knowest Lord how â—eerely our hearts were knitt in affection and â—herfore how justly I lament my losse Beâ—hold how these teares doe witnesse my love and imitate that oyntment on Aaron's head Ps 133.2 which went downe to the skirts of his out ward garments Behold how these dropps like that deaw of Harmon and that deaw which descended upon the mountaines of Zion vers 3. doe arise from that unitie which thou hast commanded O how shall I beare the losse of him whom thou in thy law didst charge mee to love Thou ô God didst tye us together in the bond of love yet thou thy selfe hast seperated him from my sight But since it was thy pleasure to receave him to thy selfe be pleased allso to hasten my journie to him Give mee patience to endure this stroake of thy scourge and thankfully to acknowledge thy goodnesse in his happinesse Him thou hast taken fronâ— the evills to come Rom 7 24. ô deliver mee allso from thiâ— body of death Make mee setle mine affectioâ— onely upon thee that my delight may be wholly in thy righteous lawes Give mee a sight of my sinnes for which I have not grieved so much as for the losse of my deceased brother and turne all my teares into a godly sorrow for offending thy majestie Be thou unto mee a father in thy provident care and a brother in thy love that all my wants may be supplyed by thy sufficience On earth I see there is nothing permanent Lord let my treasure be stored in heaven Mat 6.21 and then where my treasure is let my heart be allso When it shall be thy pleasure to free mee from this tabernacle of flesh ô let mee be receaved into that quire of Saints whereof I doubt not but my brother is a joyfull member Graunt ô my God that when I have passed the waves of this troublesome world I may sing tryumphant Halelujahs to thy praise and glory through the merits of him who is mine elder brother even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 24 THE TWENTIE-FOURTH
Ier 3.22 And this is hee to whom Israel replyeth and saith vers 23 Behold wee come unto thee for thou art the Lord our God Truely in vaine is salvation hoped for from the hills and from the multitude of mountaines truely the Lord our God is the salvation of Israel This is hee who promiseth unto Zion c 30.17 saying I will restore health unto thee and I will heale thee of thy wounds saith the Lord because they called thee an out-cast saying This is Zion whom no man seeketh after This is the same Lord to whom the people of Israel addressed themselves Hos 6.1 when they said Come let us returne unto the Lord for hee hath torne and hee will heale us hee hath smitten and hee will bind us up Since then my God hath cured both lands and waters and bodies and soules Since hee woundeth and hee healeth none can deliver out of his hand Since hee bringeth downe to the grave and bringeth up Since hee woundeth and his hands make whole Since it is hee onely who forgiveth all our iniquities healeth all our diseases and saveth our lives from destruction Since it is hee that bindeth up the breach of his people and healeth the stroake of their wound Since it was hee that promised to penitent Iudah that hee would restore comforts to him and to his mourners Since it is hee alone who is the salvation of Israël Since it is hee that promised unto Zion to restore health unto her and to heale her of her wounds I will resolve therfore with the people of Israel to returne unto him for hee hath torne mee and hee alone can heale mee hee hath smitten mee and hee alone can bind mee up To him to him will I humbly sue for the cure of my wounded and distressed soule and to him will I willingly submitt my weake and feeble body I will powre out my soule unto him I will send up my supplications unto him and will pray and say The Prayer GReate Creatour full of compassion who both sendest sicknesse and restorest health be thou graciously pleased I most humbly beseech thee to turne thy wrath from thy distressed servant Thy hand ô Lord is heavie upon mee in this languishing consumption and the sting of my transgressions pierceth mee with sharpe and grievous torments Yet I must confesse ô my God that my sufferances doe not any wayes equall mine offences nor can the paines which I endure satisfie thee mine offended Lord for the least of my transgressions O my sinnes are upon mee Eze 33.10 and I pine away in the punishment for them how then shall I live My body languisheth my flesh consumeth Ps 22.15 Ps 39.11 Iob 33 19. vers 20 and now am I very neere drawne unto the dust of death Thou with thy rebukes doest correct mee for mine iniquities thou makest my beautie to consume away like a moath I am chastened with paine upon my bed and the multitude of my bones with strong paine so that my life abhorreth bread and my soule the daintie meate that is to be desired vers 21 My flesh is consumed away that it cannot be seene and my bones that were not seene vers 22 stick out My soule draweth neere unto the grave and my life to the destroyers But yet I know that with thee ô God is compassion Mat 9.12 and tender mercies The whole have noe neede of the Physitian but such as I who am sick and in miserie O that it might be sayd of mee as it was by Mary concerning her brother Lazarus Io 11.3 even that Shee whom thou lovest is sick O my God make mee thy friend in heart and soule and graunt that I may expresse it in my dutifull obedience to all thy commandements and then be thou my friend in thy succour and reliefe Ps 41.1 vers 2. Deliver mee now in this time of trouble preserve mee and If it may be thy good pleasure keepe mee alive make mee blessed upon the earth and deliver mee not over into the hands of death vers 3. Lord strengthen mee upon this my bed of languishing make thou turne thou all my bed in my sicknesse Thou hast chastened mee sore Ps 118.18 Ps 116.8 vers 9. Ps 143.6 ô give mee not over unto death but deliver my soule from death mine eyes from teares and my feete from falling that I may walke before thee in the land of the living Vnto thee ô my God doe I stretch forth my hands my soule thirsteth for thee as a thirstie land vers 7. Heare mee speedily ô Lord my spirit faileth hide not thy face from mee for I am become like unto them that goe downe into the pit Thou hast promised by thine Apostle Iam 5.15 that the prayer of faith shall save the sick and that thou wilt raise him up Lord I pray unto thee strengthen thou my faith I am sick Lord raise thou mee up and make good unto mee that thy promise by thy holy Apostle Heale mee ô Lord Ier 17.14 and I shall be healed save mee and I shall be saved for thou art my praise O Lord I call upon thee Ps 141.1 hast thee unto mee consider my voyce now I cry unto thee and restore mee to health But howsoever if thou hast otherwise determined of mee ô my Iesus cleanse thou mee by thy blood and cure my soule by the merits of thy passion My sinnes I must confesse are the cause of my sicknesse but doe thou ô God Ps 44.22 blott out as a thick clowde my transgressions as a clowde my sinnes returne unto mee for thou hast redeemed mee O give mee patience in this time of adversitie give mee comfort in the examples of thy mercy and give mee assurance of thy love in the sanctifying of this sicknesse unto mee As my body doeth dayly draw neerer to the earth so make my soule allso dayly draw neerer unto heaven If it may be thy pleasure to restore mee to health againe ô let it be thy mercy allso to renew mine obedience But if thou art resolved by this disease to free mee from the labours of this wearisome world and to bring mee downe to my grave for thy Christs sake o my mercifull and indulgent father bring thou my soule into thy celestiall paradise O graunt that my sinnes may consume farre faster then doeth my flesh and as thou takest away the strength of my body so be pleased to adde unto the strength of my faith I am thine ô Saviour and cost thee deere even the very blood that issued from thy crucified body be thou allso mine ô Iesus both now and for ever Abate the temptations â—… Satan and arme mee with strength to resist his suggestions Ravish my soule with the love of thy selfe that so I may with willingnesse forsake the vanities of this world with readinesse lay downe this tabernacle of flesh and with comfort that my soule may
learne to depend upon God Some things wee thinke wee can certainly foresee consulting with reason about those causes and effects which are meerely naturall but yet wee often faile in our expectations either through the defect of reason or the indisposition and weakenesse of the second causes or else yea and most chiefely by the order of the Most High Yet some are so fond as to magnifie their reason and thereupon ground a necessitie of events not well considering that Allthough this reason obligeth men yet it tyeth not him who is farre above both reason and nature Some againe in their curiositie prying too neerely into things to come borrow their assistance from the Prince of the ayer accounting their knowledg an excellency not tyed to the lawes of religion Thus did that wicked King Ahazia but contrarie to his expectation hee receaved an answer from a Prophet of the Lord vers 6. for Elijah said unto him Thus saith the Lord Therfore thou shalt not come downe from that bed on which thou art gone up but shalt surely dye O what a dreadfull sentence was this Especially to him who sought to the Devill that lyer for his knowledg but receaved such an answer from God who could not deceave Thus am I gone up to my bed too as was that bruised King I am tormented with sicknesse and I languish in a disease O what shall I doe Faine mee thinks I would be certified how long I have to live faine I would live Ps 39.4 and yet I am not certaine of life I am not readie for death and yet I am heartily afraid that I shall find this death too readie for mee But why should I not dye Am I not disturbed with heates and colds with weakenesse and feeblenesse Am I not in a world that giveth noe content That can neither bound my desires nor yet afford what I seeke While I am here I am subject to miseries every moment When I shall be gone this faintnesse and weakenesse these troubles and perturbations shall forsake my weake and infirme body But what then When my body shall sleepe in the silent grave shall it continue there for ever Or shall the soule have a decay and yeald to corruption together with my body of clay and earth Noe noe nothing lesse The body shall indeede lye downe in the dust but yet it shall one day be summoned to rise againe but the soule is eternall it shall continue for ever For ever it shall rest in continuall peace or for ever it shall be tormented in ever-lasting flames Noe merveile then ô my sorrowfull soule that thou art unwilling to leave this tabernacle of flesh since thou knowest not whither thou shalt flye at thy departure But why should not I as well hope for felicitie as dread those torments when my life shall end Doe I aske Why The reason is too plaine What good can I expect from the hands of him whom I have never loved whom I have never obeyed Those whom hee crowneth with heavenly blisse are they who sought for it in a miserable life But I have so lived upon earth as if earth should continue and I have made choyce of this world for the seate of my happinesse But now alas to my woe I find that earth can neither afford any true content nor yet a continuance of that which I accounted good What now shall I doe O whither shall I betake my selfe that I may be partaker of those joyes which are the inheritance of the godly Num. 23.10 Faine I would dye the death of the righteous and I wish that my last end might be like unto his But is this a desire easie to be graunted Alas had I lived the life of the righteous I might then have beene sure I should have dyed the death of them But that ô that is it which pricketh mee at the heart I have lived in sensualitie and this evill day hath beene out of my remembrance so that I cannot comfort my selfe with the smallest hope of what I so eagerly covet But what then Is there noe remedie at all but that I must have the bitter portion with the damned in hell God forbid Hee who hath forborne mee so long when I went on in my wickednesse may yet if hee please afford mee his mercy It is not above his power nor will it eclipse his glory It was once his free promise to a thiefe even dying upon the crosse Lu 23.43 2. Cor. 1.20 This day shalt thou be with mee in paradise His promises allso are sure they are in him yea and in him Amen I doubt not therfore but his mercy was as greate as his word was sure Thus hee saved one which forbiddeth mee despairing yet it was but one which forbiddeth mee presuming But surely it can be noe presumption to build upon his goodnesse Hee delighteth not in the death of a sinner What good can the condemning of mee doe either to him or his creatures True it is that his justice maybe magnified by it but yet it will adde noe glory to his mercy Againe there are but a few in heaven to sing forth his praises but infinite millions in hell and destruction dishonour him in their blasphemies In heaven mee think's there is one too few untill I shall come thither to adde to the number In hell mee think's there would be one too many if I should be throwne into that gulfe of perdition O my God since thou hast vouchsafed mee the knowledg of a heaven yea and of thee the Lord of heaven and earth allthough my knowledg be imperfect thou art offended yet for the merits of thy Sonne be pleased to make mee a cittizen of heaven Rev 21 27. It is most true that there shall in noe wise enter into that place any thing that defileth neither whatsoëver worketh abomination or maketh a lye but they onely which are written in the Lamb's booke of life Upon these termes my hopes indeede doe languish and grow more faint then my feeble body But who is that which condemneth the wicked Is it not hee who likewise calleth the wicked and inviteth them to mercy Is it not hee who telleth mee by his Prophet and saith it himselfe Eze 18 21. If the wicked will turne from all his sinnes that hee hath committed and keepe all my statutes Vers 22 doe that which is lawfull and right hee shall surely live hee shall not dye All his transgressions that hee hath committed they shall not be mentioned unto him vers 23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should dye Saith the Lord God and not that hee should returne from his wayes and live O who is more wicked then I Who more sinfull then I My life hath beene nothing but a continued rebellion and my time hath beene wasted in nothing but disobedience Yet while I have life I have hope If I can but know mine iniquities and get a sorrowfull spirit for them
because I cannot number my sinnes Is 30.20 I will eate the bread of sorrow and I will drinke the water of contrition and affliction if I live to eate drinke any more See see how voluntarily these forward teares falling all-ready from mine eyes present themselves to my lipps steale into the corners privately as it were instructing mee that they are the wine which befitt's a sinner Lord let mee not live if I doe not love to grieve and grieve most affectionately for my hainous offences for those offences of mine which so scourged my Redeemer that they fetch'd the very blood from his sacred body O my God make mee thus to passe away my time if any more time shall be mine and then I know that thou wilt wiâ—e these teares from mine eyes Is 25.8 and number mee with those few Mat 7.13.14 which shall enter in at the strait gate But what a tedious life in the meane while shall I leade if I doe nothing but weepe and cry and mourne out my life Better be out of the world then to take noe pleasure in the world Must I droope away my youth and strength while I am here and then drop away into my grave and so be forgotten Yes I must If I will have my heaven hereafter I must have my hell here I cannot bee without my hell of sinne here for the devill is allways with mee in his temptations and why should I not desire rather to have my hell of punishment here then hereafter It will be wisedome to endure a light affliction upon earth rather them eternall flames with the damned It will be good policie to forbeare the vaine and fruitlesse joyes upon earth that I may have joyes unspeakeable and endlesse in heaven This life will not continue allways I shall not allways live here in the bitternesse of this anguish and teares There will come a time when I shall have beauty for ashes Is 61.3 the garment of gladnesse for the spirit of heavinesse when I shall have comfort and joy and that joy shall noe man take away from mee Io 16.22 Ps 126.6 If I now goe on my way weeping bearing pretious seede I shall doubtlesse come againe with rejoycing bringing my sheaves with mee But when will that time come Will it not be long first I am contented to weepe for my sinns but mee think's I am not willing to weepe too long O my soule doe but consider with thy selfe that all thy life is not long enough if al of it were spent in teares to satisfie my God for the smallest of mine offences They are infinite in number and hee is infinite whom they displease Yet through the merits of him Lu 19.41 who wept over Ierusalem my teares shall be accepted and my sinnes be forgiven I shall not thinke my time of sorrow long or tedious if I doe but hearken to the Angel which Saint Iohn saw standing upon the sea and upon the earth Reu 10 5. who lifted up his hand to heaven vers 6â— And sware by him that liveth for ever and ever who created heaven and the thines that therein are and the earth and the things that therein are and the sea and the things that are there in that there should be time noe longer This will come to passe and I am sure that it cannot be long first Let mee but have a litle patience let mee possesse my soule in patience but a litle while Lu 21.19 Heb 10 37. and hee that shall come will come and hee will not tarry O my God either lend mee noe more minuits or howsoëver let mee have noe more sinne But if I must of necessitie sinne so long as I shall live give mee true repentance as often as I sinne or if that bee a taske too full of difficultie for a woman to performe by reason of the weakenesse of the sexe and the frailtie of the flesh yet give mee such repentance as may be both true and timely and acceptable Lord I desire not to live any longer unlesse I might live without offending thy gratious Majestie What time soever thou shalt allott mee hereafter it shall be more then I will expect lest it should wickedly entice mee to deferre my repentance Yet if it be thy pleasure to adde unto my dayes let it be thy pleasure likewise to adde unto my repentance Make mee thy child by grace and then I shall pant with David and thirst with David and cry Ps 42.2 Reu. 22 20. with David O when shall I come and appeare before thee Finish soone these dayes of sinne and come Lord Iesus come quickly The Prayer Ancient of dayes Dan. 7.9 Reu. 4.8 whose garment is white as snow and the haire of whose head is like the pure wooll thou which wert and art and art to come Lord God All mighty have mercy upon mee the meanest and the unworthiest of all thy creatures Mercy o Lord I begge for the wicked and most sinfull losse of my pretious time O Lord forgive whatsoëver I have done amisse pardon ô father whatsoëver I have offended in This or none must be my time of sorrow Lord graunt that I may weepe and grieve mourne for my former sinfull life It is thy custome ô God it is thy promise Ps 50.15 Neh. 9.27 to hearken unto those who are in distresse When the Israelites cryed thou deliveredst them from the hand of their enemies in their troubles when they cryed unto thee thou heardest them from heaven My sinnes are mine enemies and farre more cruell then were the enemies of Israel Lord be thou as gratious now unto mee in this time of my trouble as thou wert then unto thy people heare mee from heaven and forgive mee the wickednesse of my misse-led life Is 33.2 I wayte for thee ô my God be thou mine arme every morning and my salvation in this time of spirituall sorrow Forgive mee the losse of the time allready past accept of my repentance at this time which is present and so protect guide and blesse mee that what time soever shall be to come I may wholly dedicate it to thee the donour Ps 20.12 1. Pet. 1.17 Eph. 5.16 Rom. 13.11 Gal. 6.10 Io 9.4 Teach mee so to number my dayes that I may apply my heart unto wisedome Make mee to passe the time of my sojourning here in feare redeeming the time because the dayes are evill and considering that it is now high time for mee to awake out of the sleepe of securitie Graunt that as I have opportunitie I may doe good unto all but especially to the house-hould of faith The night cometh when none can worke Lord doe thou draw mee Heb. 12 1. that I may follow after thee that so I may runne with patience the race which is set before mee vers 2. looking unto thee my Iesus the author and finisher of my faith Make mee to watch and attend thy coming ô
did not give light to the companie which were in the ship with Saint Paul in the tempest when hee was bound towards Rome for they Act 27 29. fearing lest they should have fallen upon rocks cast fowre ankers out of the sterne and wished for the day True it is that every one in a storme will wish for Christ this morning starre and ready they are to take their astro-labe that so they may observe the height and the distance of him but yet are they apt to leave him in the tempest and to trust to their owne cables and ankers which they cast out at the sternes of their ship never considering the depth of the seas the fowlenesse of the anchorrage Every Christian even the most skillfull mariner is apt to runne a shore upon the world or to fall upon the leadges and rocks of trouble and temptation but who ancoor's his hopes in Christ Who fasteneth the flooke of his anchor in the wounds of the Crucified Lord give mee such a faith in thee that I may not believe in thee waveringly or hope in thee weakely or wish for thee faintly but that I may at all times and upon all occasions put my whole trust and confidence in thee Ps 42.1 and say with David As the Hart panteth after the water-brookes so panteth my soule after thee ô God Surely that morning starre did not give light to churlish Nabal 1. Sam. 25.37 when in the morning after the wine was gone out of him and his wife tould him all that was done his heart dyed within him and hee became as a stone Alasse every Nabel every worldling can be jocound and pleasant while they surfeit upon the vaine pleasures of this transitorie world they can be merrie and drunken very drunken with the be-witching cup and all the while they are such sonnes of Belial vers 17 that a man cannot speake to them But if once either by povertie sicknesse or any other calamitie they are awaked and their Abigails their consciences tell them that the most mighty hath girded his sword upon his thigh Ps 45.3 with glorie and majestie and is resolved to destroy them then like unto Nabal even their very hearts dye within them and are even as stones for want of the comfort and light of his morning starre These are they who in the morning say Deut 28.67 would God it were evening and at even they say Would God it were morning for the feare of their hearts wherewith they feare and for the sight of their eyes which then they see Iob 24.17 for the morning is to them even as the â—shadow of death if one know them they are in the terrours of the shadow of death Therfore will I besiech that bright morning starre Amos. 5.8 that hee will arise in my heart that I may seeke him that maketh the seaven starres and Orion and turneth the shadow of death into the morning and maketh the day darke with night the Lord is his name This is the time Iud 16.2 when the Philistines thought to have killed Samson after they had compassed him in and layd waite for him all night in the gate of the citty of Gaza and were silent all the night Lord if at any time I sleepe if I sleepe in my sinnes which doe thou ever prevent as thou doest forbid it how contented is Satan to let mee rest How silent hee is and will not disturbe mee But hee sitteth in the gate and watcheth and if at any time I be awaked by my God how doe's hee labour to destroy mee presently with suggestions to despaire or presumption This is the time when Moses was commanded by God to cary the two new tables of stone up to the Mount Ex 34.2 for God sayd unto him Be readie in the morning and come up in the morning unto mount Sinai and present thy selfe there to mee in the top of the mount Why may not this in some kind seeme to be spoken by God to mee too For I have one table at least and I feare that it is stone too but it is in his power to make it the fleshly table of my heart 2. Cor. 3.3 O that hee would call mee O that hee would draw mee up unto him to the top of the mount Hos 11.4 with the bands of love and that hee would doe it now this morning like as twice in one morning hee putt Moses in mind of the two tables O that hee would write his law in this table of my heart even with his owne finger that I might not sinne against him This is the time when the Angells hastened Lot to goe out of Sodome Gen. 19 15. It was when the morning arose that they said unto him Arise take thy wife and thy two daughters which are here lest thou he consumed in the iniquitie of the citty The blacknesse of the crimes of those lustfull citisens eclypsed the Sunne yet lest they should hope that their impieties could dazell the eyes of the all-seeing God they had a light from heaven to discover his wrath The sinnes of the people were retrograde to nature and their just punishment proceeded therfore from causes not rendered by the practise of nature The light body of the consuming fire was seene to descend and the sulphurious flames which might have beene conceaved to arise from the troubled bowells of the earth or from the land of darknesse descended in a stormie gust from heaven A mixed fire and stinke conlumed the transgressours yet was not the choaking smell of the burning sulphur so offensive and loathsome as the stench of their wickednesse Thus the fire of their uncleanesse was revenged by the fire of tormenting brimstone and just it was that the messengers of vengeance should discharge their office whom the lewde people would not receave without a lustfull attempt of their fowle desires Their punishment for their crimes began even in their offences for it was noe small severitie to suffer them to continue in their violation of nature Yet here it stayed not for they lost their sight because they saw not their faults and at even they wearied themselves to find the dore of that righteous man vers 11 being stricken with blindnesse by those ministers of revenge vers 23 This darke evening was yet but a presage of a gloomie morning for the vengence fell when the Sun arose and those horrid flashes of a blew and dazeling light served onely to lend them a sight of their scorched neighbours and so to increase and heighten their torments Assuredly if I well consider it I am not unlike to that Lot who was saved for with the Sodomites I live I am neighboured by the wicked O but am I just with Lot and with him 2. Pet. 2 7. am I vexed with their uncleane their filthie conversation O that I might so resemble Lot that I could avoyde the corruption of those whose society
is it that Sun whose bright rayes and powerfull influences doe cherish my body which I long for Noe 't is the heaven of heavens which I desire Mal. 4.2 't is the Sun of righteousnesse which I long to behould This Sun which is so greate in comparison with the earth is not to be named in comparison with him This poore litle blushing Sun though now it pride 's it selfe in its tryumphant rayes shall at his appearing yea before his appearing even as a harbinger to prepare for his comming be mantled in mourning Act. 2.20 it shall be turned into darknesse and the Moone into blood before that greate and notable day of the Lord come And yet 'till then God hath appointed this greate Light greate to us the Sun to rule the day Ps 136.8.9 as well as the Moone and the Starres to governe the night for his mercy endureth for ever Even in this I see his mercy that by the light thereof the eyes of my body have the use of their faculties and can present their objects to my better part which may in her conternplations admire allways the mercies of God If any man walke in the day saith my Saviour hee stumbleth not Io. 11.9 because hee seeth the light of this world vers 10 But if a man waike in the night hee stumbleth because there is noe light in him Yet now I thinke of it there are some assuredly who walke in the day and yet they stumble yea they contrive a way how they may learne to stumble therfore that wine which should comfort the heart is purposely receaved to disturbe the braine Thus the superiour guide is mistied in a fogge lest it should direct the feete in the cariage of the body Is 5.11 Such are they against whom the Prophet pronounceth that Woe saying Woe unto them that rise up early in the morning that they may follow strong drinke that continue untill night 'till wine inflame them This is contrarie to the custome of those in Saint Paul's time for hee saith 1. Thes 5.7 They that sleepe sleepe in the night and they that are drunken are drunken in the night But it is not so now for wickednesse in our times hath assumed more impudencie that vice which formerly was deemed so shameful that the very wine it selfe enforced the sinner to some modestie in a blush even now by continuance is accounted but societie and to palliate the crime the collour of the offendour borroweth an excuse from the custome of inflammation Thus is nature constrained to pleade for wickednesse the corruption of the liver through immoderate drinking which discovereth it selfe in the staines of the countenance is noe longer abhorred as an effect of vice but rather 't is pittied as an infirmitie of the person The gray-eyed morning looke's upon my body and teacheth mee to view my hidden selfe my inner man This is a duety prescribed by religion and 't is a law of justice that before I walke abroade to behould my neighbours I first doe prye into the dresse of my selfe The All-mighty quesstion's Ephraim and Iudah by the mouth of his prophet saying Hos 6.4 O Ephraim what shall I doe unto thee O Iudah what shall I doe unto thee For your goodnesse is as a morning clowde and as the early deaw it goeth away This clowde and this deaw doe aptly resemble the goodnesse of hypocrities The clowde passeth the deaw drye's up Oh thus doe my promises and vowes unto God Thus doe my better actions where in I glorie Suddainly presently doe they vanish and disperse If I looke upon the skie I view the mirrour of my present thoughts for though for a time I meditate on God yet an empty clowde which rideth post and fleeth a way upon the wings of the wind Ps 18.10 is not so speedie as are these pensive and divine contemplations If I blush when I see the short continuance of these heavenly thoughts discovered in the speedie journie of a clowde with a dejected countenance let mee looke upon the ground Oh here againe I find the reflection of my short devotions These private cogitations which tend to religion are but like to the pearlie deaw that hang's on the grasse prompt and ready to drie and vanish Those very tufts of grasse those leaves of the trees seeme to lament the short continuance of my religious exercises as if they had spent the silent night in anguish and sorrow for feare lest my doome should be to a place below their abode The flowers have wept all night in their beds and the chillowed herbs have drooped in the darke and all of them together besiech mee with teares that my goodnesse may not resemble the jewells they weare Those pearles shall dissolve those teares shall be dryed at the appearance of the Sun even so soone as hee shall visit them with the warmth of his beames Thus thus though I mourne in secret for my sinnes yet so soone as I am warmed with the vaine delights of the enticing world I am apt presently to forget the bitternesse of my sorrowes and to sinne afresh lest I should not have cause to lament againe Lord I wish yet that I had but such and so many teares for my sinsull felfe as the tresses of the earth doe seeme to mourne out for mee Such ô such or none I desire to have None other will comply with my wishes They must be exhaled from the earth even the earth of my heart by the Sun of righteousnesse Thus they must rise that thus they may fall And when they are thus risen and when they are thus fallen then shall they be dryed by the comfortable rayes of that Sun of righteousnesse shining in my â—eart My sighes and my groanes which â— dispatch for my sinues shall ascend like â—apours up to my braine and by the secret inâ—uences of him that enlightens mee they shall have time alotted them to unite togeâ—her and then shall they fall in a deaw on nine eyes Now is the time that I thus should â—eepe now is the time I should thus lament for my sinnes must be purged with my morâ—ing teares My yester-day's follies my lastâ—ight's fantâ—sies this morning's thoughts which saluted my earthly vanities before I â—owed to my God even all advise mee to hye â—…y selfe and retire speedily into my private closet there to wash and rub and clense my soule in the cesterne of my teares and never leave rinsing 'till the staines are fetcht out But is this the taske of a morning shall I not be utterly unapt for the workes of my vocation when I have swelled mine eyes with the brinie drops O noe the aire is cleerest brightest when stormes are blowne over and content of mind and quiet thoughts will follow upon my mourning Besides there 's nothing in the world that dryeth sooner then teares for many times they are slunke in a moment into the dimple of a smile Nay
to him in desert yet the same God which inspired him with his Spirit can if hee please enable mee to endeavour the fullfilling of that lawe But hee was a disciple and why may not I be ranked in the number What though I am a woman So was Tabitha Act 9.36 yet shee was a disciple and so I hope shall I be too First then I must strive for this theologicall vertue for by this I shall be knowne to be a disciple of Christ I swimme in plenty but doe I remember those that are pinched with necessity In my rich and curious dresses doe I remember the naked In my variety of dishes doe I thinke upon the hungry In the choyce of my wines doe I consider the thirstie In the enjoyment of my freedome doe I pitty the prisoners I feare that my heart is too much delighted with the things I possesse too litle affected with the wants of my brethren But let mee ever consider that 't is in the power of my God as well to make mee a beggar as those that wayte petition at my doore and from my plenty I may be driven to demaund an almes Hee that gives can take I must so demeane my selfe in prosperity as allways remembring that adversitie is neere What therefore I possesse I will not enioy as if I were mistresse but onely steward of it The shivering body of a naked beggar shall have a share and proportion to cover his nakednesse The empty bellie shall have meate to fill it the thirstie soule shall be satisfied with drinke the sick I will comfort the prisoners I will visit In my liberty I will commiserate the imprisoned in my health the sick in my drinke the thirstie in my meate the hungrie and in mine apparell the naked Lord what a world is this wherein I live Every one lookes on the rising Sun Riches are the Idolls allmost of every one and gold though the feigned yet the admired Deitie Prov. 14.20 The rich saith Solomon hath many friends I find it true But are those friends indeede which pretend to friendship Certainly not all yet this is my miserie that while I am rich I shall hardly distinguish betweene friend and foe Most that put on the vizors of friendship doe but comply with the plenty of my fortunes They have falsehood vayled under theshape of love which will never be discovered but by change of estate Surely thus to be rich is but to be miserable Were my treasures exhausted I should sitt alone without society or pitty The doves delight in the whited houses So long as I shine in rich aray the capps the knees will doe reverence to my ornaments but who respect's the meanely habited Prov 14.20 The poore is hated even of his owne neighbour such a one might I have beene yea such a one I may be made Let mee not therfore boast of that which is neither truely good nor mine nor permanent If I trust in these riches I leane upon a reede If I boast of my riches I forget their uncertainty If I am proude of my estate I disdaine the giver This tempting gold is nothing but earth upon which the pollicie of men hath set a vallew It was gotten with sweate and 't is preserved with cares But why ô why doe the children of the earth thus magnifie that which is in their power to scorne For gold the merchants hazard their lives the ploughmen sweate the thievs and robbers doe come to shamefull ends yea and most men defile their pretious soules 'T is that which imploye's the tongue of the pleader yea and sometimes corrupt's the justice of the Iudg. 'T is that which buyes the skill of the Physitian and rule 's and governe's the affaires of the world For that doe Kingdomes strive and the whole world contend's But thou glistering stupid Idoll why art thou so honoured Why so adored 'T is true thou art the price of whatsoëver wee desire the world to furnish us with both for necessity and delight and so farre I may suffer thee to lodg in my coffers But is it in thy power to prolong my life and preserve mee here beyond my time appointed Canst thou give mee health or strength Canst thou afford mee peace of mind and quietnes of conscience Canst thou endowe mee with spirituall and saving grace and purchase mee a seate in the heavenly Ierusalem Alasse poore simple dirt thou canst doe nothing that 's good nor they whom thou foolest with the coveteousnesse of thee Why then doest thou cheate the children of Adam betray them to hell by their honouring of thee But stay Why doe I thus blame this innocent metall 'T is not this that offend's This would have slept in the silent bowells of our mother earth had not the avarice of men disturbed its rest It is not the gould that â—…mpt's to wickednesse but 't is the sleight â—f the Devill which perswade's men to hoâ—our it Since then I can find noe fault with â—…y coyne let mee pray that noe fault may be â—ound in my selfe If I love it I sinne if I coâ—et it I sinne if I gaine it by meanes not varrented in Scripture I sinne if I increase it by extortion or biting usurie I sinne if I â—ut my trust or confidence in it I sinne if I make it the price and hire of wickednesse 〈◊〉 sinne if I vallew my selfe either greater or better for the possession of it I sinne if I unjustly deteine it from those who have right to it I sinne if vainly and prodigally I wast and exhaust it I sinne if I deny it to them that are in destresse I sinne Lord how many sinns depend upon this glittering earth I will therfore resolve to looke downe on 't as on a slave and never allow it a seate in my heart and willingly will I impart it to the needy and indigent I had rather it had dwelt in the darke vaults and cavernes of the earth then ever it should be a meanes to offend my God But since my revenues are plentifull what shall I doe with this which I posesse I will resolve by the grace and goodnesse of my God that so I will keepe it as if I had it not I will so use it as if I used it not I will so freely give it where necessity requireth that it shall plainly appeare I love it not and yet I will so preserve it as if I scorned it not With this I will relieve the poore I will cloath the naked I will comfort the distressed and whatsoëver good it may procure for my selfe or others I will labour to purchase it though with the expence of the coyne I will not for the love of this Is 32.6 make empty the soule of the hungry nor cause the drinke of the thirstie to faile for this is the propertie of persons that are vile I will never so setle my affection upon it as to suffer it to stoppe
but was churlishly denyed them vers 22 yet afterwards hee was caried by the Angells into Abraham's bosome I will consider with my selfe that my gould and silver are nothing but earth my jewells but stones mine apparell but the labour and issue of a worme mine honour respect but either the steame of an unsavourie breath or the wrying and deforming of a Christians body and yet this aëry applause these congees and salutes are grounded onely on this earth stones Were vertue onely the ground of honour my credit might be sullied with this dirt and trash for the more I possesse of this earthie masse the heavier and duller I grow to acts of goodnesse Gold is accounted the most compacted mettall to heighten the vallew of it they boyle it in broths as a cordiall for the infirme Peradventure the All-mighty hath given it vertue to comfort the heart but then it must be used not locked up Yet the Physitian 's prescription may be grounded on avarice and it may be a pollicie of Satan to Increase our idolatrie Thus doeth every one make it his businesse to court this Idoll whereof I am mistresse But am I sure that I am mistresse of this admired mettall Am I not rather a servant and slave to it If it ever hath power to tempt mee to sinne I have lost my soveraignty to which I pretend This mettall is close and compact more heavy ponderous then any of the rest O is it not a description of my remorselesse heart Is not that as close compact as unwilling to yeeld to the stroke of the hammer to the cryes and the teares of the poore and the miserable If thus I find my heart in the gold my next care shall be to make it as heavy I will grieve and lament for the hardnesse of my heart and since 't is so drossie as to covet the gould I will earnestly besiech my God to refine it I will humbly request him to put it to the test to put it into a crucible and then so to draw it downe in the fire of affliction that it may runne pure and cleane and be apt to yeeld and commiserate the cause of the helplesse Betweene the steele and the load-stone the sympathie is so prevalent that they wooe each other even at a distance O that my God would infuse into my heart so much of his grace that the stone therein might be like the load-stone drawing the poore and the miserable to my doores who with indigencie and want are hammered and beaten and fired like the steele The red and fiery eyes are cured by the often touch of the gold Whose eyes are more inflamed then those of the poore whose every morsell is the price of a teare Who is more able to cure those maladies then wee to whom God hath sent in aboundance For them then I will call I will sieke I will send and the rednesse of their eyes shall be cured with my yellow resplendent gould Those that stedfastly looke on waterish eyes are subject to contract the same infirmitie Mine are cleere and free from the maladie but 't is onely because I looke not on them who are troubled with that weakenesse But I will labour hereafter to looke upon the poore whose eyes are swelled with petitionarie teares and so stedfastly-will I fasten mine eye of compassion upon their miseries that I will both lament their sufferances and releive their wants The purest gold is ever most plyable and apt to bend which way wee please Thus shall mine be ready to bow and bend and yeeld to the necessities of my brethren Thus shall my heart be noe longer the possessour of my revennues but the cabinet of charitie and tender compassion But when I divert â—…ine eyes from the treasures of my coffers â—nd fasten them on the glittering rayes of my â—…abinet Iewells ô then my heart which was open beginn's to close againe mee thinks I repent my promise of distributing my massie summs since they have power to purchase such dazeling jemms Fond woman where is thy religion Vaine woman why art thou so unconstant These sparkling diamonds are but the offalls of a rock and by the hand of the artist composed into a forme which may fitly tell mee the folly of my pride Suppose that this or this stone by nature was placed on the top of the rock yet when it fell to the ground 't was taken up for an idoll What stone can be harder then is this Adamant Yet I find that flesh may be harder then this My heart is a rock yet 't is not a Diamond for 't is farre inferiour in the vallew and price But admitt howsoever that 't were a Diamond then I might hope that nature or art would force some pieces or sparkes from the rock O but I find it will not easily yeeld to part with any but when the hammer doeth come with violence upon it it forceth it back againe with scorne and contempt when the grace of my God doeth offer to touch it 't is repelled by the hardnesse and obduracie there of What shall I doe to force it to yeeld Nothing but a Diamond cut 's a Diamond This very Diamond then which I hould in my hand shall cutt mee to the heart for the wickednesse thereof Or if that will not doe if it will not yeeld without the concurrence of blood I will besiech my Redeemer for a drop of his blood by vertue whereof my heart may relent Here 's a Pearle too whose orient lustre hath so delighted my heart that mee thinks in a manner I weare it in mine eye It was the purchase of my coyne but from whence at first was it derived to my possession Nature intending to preserve it from violence clasped it up in the shell of a fish and then sunke it to the bottone of the troubled ocean But coveteous man enuying the treasures which were hidden in the seas ransacked the bottome to find out this jemme Now it is mine it add's to my treasure and borroweth the eyes of the gazing spectatours making them wonder and cover this which I possesse But was it onely sent for the satisfaction of the eye Let mee a litle more carefully looke upon it and trie if it offers not something of piety to a religious soule In the colour thereof I discover heaven In the Easterne parts from whence are brought the crient pearles Mat. 2.1.2 I am put in mind of the starre which appeared in the East to the wise men and conducted them to the sight of Christ whom they worshipped This cerulian jewell so fitly imitating the colour of the heavens whispers into mee the earnest desire which I ought to have of that which it resembles Shall the colour of the heavens be kept close in my cabinet and vallewed chiefly for it's orient lustre and shall not the desire of heaven be stirred up in my heart and an eamest longing to reigne there eternally This
poore for thy sake allways considering that the vanities of earth are not worthy to be compared to the glory that shall be revealed 1. Pet. 5 1. Heb. 4.13 1. Tim. 2.9 vers 10 O thou to whose eyes even all things are naked and open graunt that I may adorne my selfe in modest apparell with shamefastnesse and sâ—brietie not so much with gold or pearles or costly aray as with good workes becomeing a professour of godlinesse Make mee labour for the ornaments of the hidden man in the heart in that which is not corruptible 1. Pet. 3 4. Luc. 12 21. 2. Cor. 9.11 1. Tim. 6.18 Iam. 2.5 Reu 3.18 even the ornament of a meeke quiet spirit which is in thy sight of greatest price Make mee ô heavenly father rich in thy selfe rich unto liberalitie rich in good workes in faith Make mee buy of thee gold tryed in the fire that I may berich and white raiment that I may be cloathed and that the shame of my nakednesse doe not appeare Let mee allways remember that greate accompt which one day I must render to thee the Lord of heaven and earth that so I may serve thee here with my substance in my body and my soule with zeale and devotion and hereafter be receaved to thine ever-lasting glory through the merits of thy sonne in thy bosome Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 7 THE SEAVENTH SUBjECT Teares in want or in the time of adversitie In foure severall Soliloquies treating of 1 A decayed est ate or plentie turned into povertie 2 Hunger both corporall and spirituall 3 Thirst both bodily and ghostly 4 Nakednesse both of the out-ward and the in-ward man The first Soliloquie Treating of a decayed estate or Plenty turned into povertie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray VVHen Mary had powred her precious oyntment on the head of my Redeemer Mat 26 7. his disciples were filled with indignation vers 8. vers 9. said To what purpose is this wast For this oyntment might have beene sould for much and given to the poore vers 10 But when Iesus understood it hee said why trouble yee the woman For shee hath wrought a good worke upon mee vers 11 For yee have the poore allways with you but mee yee have not allways O mee think's the words of my Saviour doe more afflict mee then the povertie which I suffer I thought hee had beene allways conversant with the poore because hee so often commandeth their reliefe But now hee seemeth to leave us in our miserie when hee determineth that wee shall continue upon earth but himselfe resolveth to leave the earth But did hee not promise in Saint Mathew say Mat. 28 20. Loe I am with you allway even unto the end of the world How can his promise be fullfilled if wee have him not allway Will hee be at the same time both present with us and absent from us Or doeth hee disdaine our poverty and for that very reason deny us his presence Cease cease ô my soule these doubts questions which savour too much of ignorance Rom. 3 4. or infidelitie Let God be true and every man a lyer What hee spake to his disciples before his suffering hee spake of his flesh but what hee said when hee was risen hee affirmed of his Spirit True it is ô my Iesus that thy bodily presence I expect not upon earth Ps 144 5. nor may I desire thee to how the heavens and come downe from thy glory â—t is thy Spirit ô Christ which I humbly sue â—or even that Comforter who may strengthen â—…ee in the depth of my calamities Never â—ad I more neede of comfort from God then â—ow when the goods of the world forsake mee Now doe I find that I am hated Prov. 14.20 c 18.23 c 19.4 even of mine owne neighbours but the rich hath many friends I am enforced to use intreaties c 18.23 but the rich answereth mee roughly c 19.4 Wealth did make many friends but now I am poore I am seperated from my neighbours vers 7. All my brethren doe hate mee and much more doe my friends goe farre from mee I pursue them with words yet they are wanting unto mee Vaine world where are thy promises Deceitfull riches where is your friendship I who so lately was dandled in the lappe of pleasure and plenty am now exposed to paines and penury So litle did I dreame of this tempestuous storme that with David I said in my prosperitie Psa 30.6 I shall never be removed thou Lord of thy goodnesse hadst made my hill so strong But where are now those ensignes of pride my Rings and my Iewells Where are those factours of lasciviousnesse my favours and my fashions Where are those robbers of time my sports my games Where are those moths wormes of plenty my flattering society and my discursive companions Where are those pamperers of the body my severall dishes and daintie cookeries Where be those golden pictures that often yeelded mee leggs and the courtsies Alasse all 's gone all 's flowen The Sun is hidden and muffled in a clowde and by that meanes those atomes those motes are obscured Now must I expect noe more honour or respect My fingers and my wrists and my neck must forget that ever they were adorned with the treasure of the seas and the riches of the earth My back must forget that ever it was dressed in the fashion of strangers Mine eares must forget that ever they were delighted with the musick of discourses My palet must forget that ever it was coy and nice in the choyce of various meates My mind must forget that ever I was honoured with the respect of inferiours And my purse must forget that ever it was acquainted with the idoll of the world O what wonder and misery happen's in this change All things are altered as if I had slept out my time and onely dreamed of the pleÌ„tie which formerly I enjoyed Mee think's I am but just newly borne Nay I am worse for now I have neither nurse to suckle mee nor mother to dandle mee Yet am I still as if I were borne but a day or two since allthough I am growne to bignesse beyond the time for I am as ignorant of a way to live in the world as the sucking infant that 's nourished at the breast And now what shall I doe Nor acquaintance nor friends nor kindred nor any will remember that ever they knew mee or if they doe they will be moreready to taunt mee then afford mee reliefe Was ever miserie like unto mine Was ever distressed soule so destitute so forlorne as I am Whither shall I goe To whom shall I complaine Either my tougue hath forgotten to speake or my friends to heare
Christianitie seemes to be but the labour of the voyce for if men did believe what the Scriptures teach they surely would practise something of Charitie Thus I sitt and sigh and grieve and expostulate and complaine but yet I forget what I ought to consider of I am apt to repine at this poverty which I suffer but I am un-apt to enquire into the cause thereof Solomon tell 's mee that Prov. 19.15 Slothfullnesse casteth into a deepe sleepe an idle soule shall suffer hunger That hunger I feele but doe I acknowledg that idlenesse Doe I confesse that slothfullnesse If I should examine my hands what worke they have done would not their smoothnesse and whitenesse accuse them of idlenesse If I should aske mine eyes how vigilant they have beene in a lawfull imployment would they not drowzily and bashfully slinke behind the curtaines Let mee then remember how Solomon telleth mee c. 23.21 that drowsinesse shall cloath one with raggs And yet mee think's this is not all There must be some-thing else that bring 's this affliction Let mee but consider a litle and reason with my selfe It may be I may find out some-thing more by a diligent search I live upon the earth I live in the world Earth I had the best of earth in the esteeme of earth I had gold and silver so much esteemed and honoured by man In the world I am yet now my coyne is gone I am here but a stranger I did know many but in the change of my fortune I am known of none If I call to the earth which so much I have loved it will not un-bowell it selfe to offer mee it's intraills I cannot tell how neither to prick a veine of it to enrich my selfe as the delvers doe though shee tremble at the violence If I sue to the world I am there neglected Ps 31.12 I am forgotten like a dead man out of mind or like a broken vessell Whence ariseth this un-kindnesse of the earth Whence proceede's this forgetfullnesse of the world Certainly the earth of it selfe had not malice enough to sieke my ruine Surely the world of it selfe had not cruelty enough to contrive my un-doeing Noe noe there 's some-thing yet which I have not discovered that question-lesse hath brought this poverty upon mee I sigh my sighes goe up-ward mee think's toward heaven I looke with a steady and stedfast eye but 't is up-ward I looke 't is chiefely upon heaven I mourne and I cry and my word is chiefely O Lord O God Who is this I name so often in my laments Who is this I mention so often in my cryes Is it not the Lord Is it not God To heaven goe my sighes upon heaven looke mine eyes on the God of heaven doe I call and yet though hee 's in my sighes in mine eyes and in my tongue I have all this while forgotten to entertaine him in my heart Surely if hee had hitherto dwell't in my soule I should either have enjoyed more of the earth or lesse of my love to it That which I have left so un-willingly I have loved too much and in that love I have sinned too much and by that sinne I have moved him to anger who hath sent mee this poverty Yes yes 't is hee 't is hee that maketh poore and maketh rich 1. Sam. 2.7 that bringeth low and lifteth up All this while I have lived in such ignorance that either I knew him not or at least I honoured him not I lived as if there were noe other God but onely mammon noe happinesse but on earth noe treasures but gold and noe content but in plenty If I ever remembred him it was to his dishonour if ever I spake of him it was in prophanenesse I never doubted of his love therfore never prayed for his blessing or if I did pray it was coldly it was faintly and rather to satisfie the world then to discharge my duety or in an awfull manner to have recourse to his Majesty I measured his favours by my out-ward possessions and deemed them blessings which hee sent in wrath but I hope it will prove that hee hath taken them in mercy Graunt blessed God that now I may know thee in this my miserie who formerly forgot thee in the height of my plenty and that knowing thee I may love thee and that loving thee I may depend on thee that depending on thee I may serve and honour thee all the dayes of my life O now mee think's I am another woman I beginne to feele some warmth at my heart I find that my God doeth speake to my conscience Lord send mee repentance that I may be sorrie for my sinnes send mee thy grace that I may have share in thy promises send mee a lively faith that I may relye upon the merits of my blessed Redeemer and howsoever thou disposest of this body of flesh preserve my soule for thy celestiall kingdome O what a suddaine alteration doe I find in my selfe My teares that savoured of murmuring and despaire shall flow aboundantly for the sinnes I committed World leawd world thou art a jugler and an impostour Earth base earth thou art a cozener and a deluder I silly woman did place my happinesse in your transitorie courtesies and thought it the chiefe honour to become your minion But now I see that you fayle your servants and mocke your lovers There 's noe constancy but in God There 's noe comfort or happinesse but in Christ The more I sieke him the more I love him and the more I love him the more I am beloved of him Hee will not deceave mee hee will not leave mee nor forsake mee Lord let me be thine though hungry though thirstie though naked I come unto thee I am sure that if I serve him I shall be provided for by him Hee can doe it for hee hath enough Col. 1.16 Hee created all things and his they are by whom they were created O let him give mee a litle with content rather then so much as I had with forgetfullnesse of him I care not how litle I possesse so I may enjoy my Lord. The birds doe never thinke of a morrow and yet their hunger is satisfied every moment The herbes the flowers are infensible of their verdure and yet they infinitely out-vye King Solomon in his glory Mat. 6.29 The rivers that steale from the billowed ocean and sport awhile in the massie earth are at length directed to the sea againe The stone that is digged from the quarries in the earth to serve for necessity and ornament of our structures findeth rest at last in a silent heape where making a way by it's heavy weight it steale's back by degrees into the wombe of the earth In each of these I discover a providence for hee who first created doeth still preserve O let him be mine and then I shall be his O let mee be his then hee shall be mine If I be his
purchase my desires by declining his mercy If any thing cometh it is sent by his providence if nothing cometh yet still I have God who is the best of all If it be his pleasure to bring mee to the earth by this consuming want my body indeede shall yeeld the lesse foode to the wormes but my soule shall be filled with un-speakeable comforts Lord what a base lumpe of clay is this which would so tyrannize over my soule as to make it leave it's confidence in thee What art thou that complainest and yawnest and gapest so greedily for satisfaction Thou art but earth at the best and by the earth thou hast beene fed and to the earth thou shalt returne The foode which thou desirest is a thing to be loathed if thou diddest but consider in what manner thou wert furnished The earth produceth grasse for the foode of the beastes they are fatted to furnish the tables of men and when men doe plentifully feede upon them the least part thereof conduceth to their nourishment the most of it goeth out into the draffe and even that which is putrified it returne's to the earth againe to render it fertile Thus wee live by excrements and wee are fed by putrefaction That which wee loath both in the sent and the sight is forgotten when wee feede upon it in our bread Thus I pine then for nothing but dung and filth for want whereof my belly would force mee to repine against my maker Our fowles are fed with the filthie wormes that proceede from our dung hills our fishes are composed of mudde and slime our beastes are nourished by vertue of that which wee loath to remember and from all these is patched up such a body as at the second or third hand is nothing but dung or whatsoever is worse Were it not shame then for mee to suffer this body which being dead in three or foure dayes will be odious to the living to entice my soule to rebell against my maker O I may not I will not This leanenesse doeth but lecture to mee what I am framed of and the soule is comforted in the weakenesse of the prison That better part doeth long to dwell with the father of spirits Each bitt I should eate Heb 12 9. would but delay my time and retard the fruition of a crowne of glory O my God be pleased to send mee thy blessing as well in want as in plenty that so I may decree and resolve with Saint Paul in whatsoëver state I am Phil 4.11 there with to be content Thus I should be and thus I desire to be for hunger with content is better then feasting and feasting without it is worse then famine If God in his wisedome seeth it good for mee that I should be filled I doubt not of his providence in sending what is good I will as I ought sieke the ordinarie meanes for the preservation of life I will industriously labour or earnestly besiech or painfully travaile for that which may nourish mee If it cometh as I desire I will thanke him who sendeth it if it cometh not as I wish howsoëver I will labour to be content with my lott Him will I honour both in plenty and in want and to his disposing will I yeeld up my selfe True it is that hee created meates for the belly 1. Cor 6.13 and the belly for meates but yet hee will destroy both it and them Hee hath sent mee this affliction to physick my soule and to put mee in mind how nicely I have refused in plenty what now I should thankfully receave in my want Those that are full are apt to surfeit and hasten with more disturbance to the gates of the grave then wee who in hunger doe willingly meete and desire our death Yet I am not so unwilling to live as that I would refuse my nourishment though of the meanest sort nor am I so unwilling to dye Prov. 27.7 as by unlawfull meanes to satisfie my appetite The full soule loatheth an hony-comb but to the hungry soule every bitter thing is sweete I dare not imitate the Israelites who murmured and repined against Moses and Aaron Ex 16.3 and said unto them Would to God wee had dyed by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt when wee sate by the flesh-pots and when wee did eate bread to the full for yee have brought us forth into this wildernesse to kill this whole assembly with hunger What would it advantage mee if God in his judgment should send mee my desires Is it not better to partake of his mercy in miserie then of his displeasure in plenty Ps 78.27 vers 28 At the desire of the Israëlites hee rained flesh upon them as dust and feathered fowles like as the sand of the sea And hee let it fall in the middest of the campe round about their habitations vers 29 So they did eate and were filled vers 30 hee gave them their owne desire they were not estranged from their lust Those on whom hee rained downe Manna to eate vers 24 and gave them of the corne of heaven even they were likewise stored with the flocks of the Quailes But their sweete meate had sowre sawce vers 30 vers 31 for while their meate was yet in their mouths the wrath of God came upon them and slew the fattest of them Prov. 10.22 and smote downe the chosen men in Israël It is onely the blessing of the Lord that maketh rich even of him who promised to the Israëlites Ex 23.25 if they would serve him to blesse their bread and their water and to take sicknesse away from the midd'est of them Hee it was who moved Shobi and Machir 2. Sam. 17.27 and Barzillai to bring unto David at Mahanaim and to his people that were hungrie and wearie vers 28 and thirstie in the wildernesse both beds and cupps and earthen vessells and wheate and barley and flowre and parched corne and beanes and lentills and parched pulse And honey vers 29 and butter and sheepe and cheese of kine Luc. 1.53 Hee filleth the hungrie with good things and the rich hee sendeth emptie away Iob. 34.28 The cry of the poore cometh unto him and hee heareth the cry of the afflicted Hungrie and thirstie Ps 107 5. the soules of the Israëlites fainted in them Then they cryed unto the Lord in their trouble vers 6. vers 9. and hee delivered them out of their distresses Hee satisfieth the longing soule and filleth the hungrie soule with goodnesse Thus hee may doe for mee as hee did for them but then I must pray and that in faith I must weepe and that in hope I must remember my sinnes which have deserved this punishment yea greater then here can be inflicted upon mee and I must thank my Creatour who visiteth mee in mercy I must submitt to his pleasure and kisse the rod. Though now as was the Prodigall
And Moses lifted up his hand and with his rod hee smote the rock twice and the water came out aboundantly and the congregation dranke and their beastes allso Well might this rod flouriâ—h with blossomes c 17.8 which had power to command water out of the rocks Thus was Israël watered by miracle and the thirst of the people was slacked by the waters which issued even from the stones But Moses is dead and the rod is not heard of the rock I find not Ps 18.2 Ps 23.2 yet will I not despaire The Lord shall be my rock and hee shall leade mee to waters of comfort When Samson had slaine a thousand Philistines with the jaw-bone of an asse Iud. 15.18 hee was sore a thirst and called on the Lord and said Thou hast given this greate deliverance into the hand of thy servant and now shall I dye for thirst and fall into the hand of the uncircumcised vers 19 But God clave an hollow place that was in the jaw and there came water thereout and when hee had drunke his spirit came againe Mat. 19 26. and hee revived Thus with God are all things possible Since then I know it exceedeth not his power to helpe mee in this miserie I will certainly relie upon the hope of his goodnesse When Mesha rebelled Iehoram with Iehoshaphat and the King of Edom fetched a compasse of seaven dayes journie and there was noe water for the hoast 2. King 3.9 vers 15 and for the cattell that followed them Then Elisha said Bring mee a minstrell And it came to passe when the minstrell played that the hand of the Lord came upon him And hee said vers 16 Thus saith the Lord Make this valley full of ditches for thus saith the Lord vers 17 Yee shall not see wind neither shall yee see raine yet that valley shall be filled with water that yee may drinke both yee and your cattell and your beastes vers 18 And this is but a litle thing in the sight of the Lord hee will deliver the Moabites allso into your hand vers 20 And it came to passe in the morning when the meate-offering was offered that behold there came water by the way of Edom and the countrie was filled with water Lord I am one of the valleys I am the lowest the meanest the worst of thy people ô send thy waters into the lowest valley that I may rejoyce in thy mercy and praise thee for thy liberality But while I complaine of the drought of my body mee think's I forget that spirituall thirst which should make mee blessed Those my Redeemer pronunceth blessed Mat 5.6 who doe hunger and thirst after righteousnesse for they shall be filled If I have not a thirst more spirituall then corporall I may justly suspect my selfe to be of the number of those Wicked ones of whom the Prophet speaketh saying Thus saith the Lord God Is 65.13 Behold my servants shall eate but yee shall be hungrie behold my servants shall drinke but yee shall be thirstie behold my servants shall rejoyce but yee shall be ashamed My Saviour tould the woman of Samaria at Iacobs well Io 4.13 vers 14 saying Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst againe But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life Here is noe Iacobs well to coole my tongue Ps 36.9 but the well of life is present and open True it is that this well is deepe and I have nothing to draw I have noe goodnesse to merit it and scarce have I a heart to desire it yet Lord such as I am I come unto thee My selfe I renounce I fly to the worthinesse of Christ my Redeemer For his sake ô my God give mee that water that I thirst not againe For that water doe I long more theÌ„ for the rivers of waters which incompasse the earth 2. King 5.12 Neither Abanah nor Pharpar the rivers of Damascus noe nor Iordane it selfe is comparable unto this Thou ô Christ art this well Io 6.35 thou art this water Thou hast promised that hee which cometh to thee shall never hunger hee which believeth in thee shall never thirst For thee Ps 42.1 ô Saviour I thirst for thy salvation I cry and intreate As the Hart panteth for the water brookes so panteth my soule after thee ô God vers 2. My soule thirsteth for God for the living God When shall I come appeare before God O God my soule thirsteth for thee Ps 63.1 my flesh longeth for thee in a drie and thirstie land where noe water is Noe more will I mind this body of earth or howsoëver not so wholly bend my thoughts upon the quenching the thirst of this parched clay This will I referre to the disposall of my God pray for comfort but onely conditionally If hee shall account it fitt for mee to die by this present thirst that my moisture shall be turned into the drought of summer Ps 32.4 I shall willingly submitt Howsoëver since his will is yet kept secret from mee I will pray for that which may yeeld mee comfort but onely conditionally if it may stand with his liking But as touching my poore dry thirstie soule I will pray directly peremptorily and absolutely besieching him to refresh it with the deaw of his grace Hee promised by his Prophet Is 35.7 that The parched ground should become a poole the thirstie land springs of waters I am that parched ground my languishing soule is that thirstie land Lord send mee that poole and those springs of waters By the same Prophet againe hee promised to his Church and said I will powre water upon him that is thirstie and floods upon the drie ground c 44.3 I will powre my spirit upon thy seede and my blessing upon thy off-spring This is his promise indeede but may I be so bould as to put him in mind of it Yes yes doe so ô my soule Hee loveth it hee delighteth in it Bashfullnesse in these cases is but dull stupiditie seeing thou hast authoritie to speake with confidence Wee must come boldly unto the throne of grace Heb 4.16 that wee may obtaine mercy and find grace to help in time of neede I will not leave him therfore I will not forsake him I will hang upon him I will follow him for those onely speede who are earnest in their suites Hee keepeth us off onely to heighten our desires not to deny our requests Hee seemeth to be angry when wee beginne to petition but wee misse-take the cause Hee 's displeased because wee came noe sooner or because wee come on noe faster Whatsoever hee hath promised hee will undoubtedly make good if wee are not wearie and slack in solliciting It is his delight to see us earnest and our reward
shall be greater if wee continue in our industrie This is my way and thus I will follow him Hee who sate upon the throne Reu 21 6. and said It is done I am Alpha and Omega the beginning and the end even the same Lord said I will give unto him that is a thirst of the fountaine of the water of life freely Hee inviteth mee by his Prophet and speaketh to mee among the rest when hee saith Is 55.1 Ho every one that thirsteth come yee to the waters and hee that hath noe money come and buy and eate yea come and buy wine and milke without money Reu 22 17. without price The Spirit and the Bride saith Saint Iohn say Come and let him that heareth say Come and let him that is a thirst Come and whosoever will let him take of the water of life freely I am thirstie hee hath promised therfore to mee the fountaines of the water of life I am thirstie and yet I am poore and have not wherewith to buy what I neede My deedes are wicked and of noe validitie my words are idle and deserve noe good my thoughts are sinfull cannot merit What then Shall I starve for want because I have not price to give Noe noe mee it is hee calleth unto that I may buy without money mee hee meaneth to make partaker of his promise I will buy what I want but I can give nothing but teares or at most which indeede is the best even the blood of him who was slaine for my peace But why doe I call that blood mine owne May I safely doe it Yes it was his but it is mine Because hee needed not that price as a ransome for himselfe hee gave it to mee and all the faithfull to purchase our redemption This ô father I offer unto thee upon my knees I tender it with a lowly heart and a bleeding soule and a submissive speech praying unto thee and saying The Prayer GRacious father Ps 123.1 Mat 5.45 thou that dwellest in the heavens and from heaven doest send the raine both on the just and the unjust take pitty and compassion on the meanest of thy servants who cryeth unto thee out of the depth of miserie O my God thou seest how I am dryed up with thirst and am wearie of my life for want of thy comforts I know that thou hast power to breake a clowd and canst command it to water my parched body Thou canst give mee drinke out of the windowes of heaven Gen 7.11 or canst cause the earth to answer my desires Ps 6 1. Lord rebuke mee not in thine anger neither chasten mee in thy heavy displeasure I must confesse that I have worthily deserved thy severest punishments and most justly therfore doe I feele the heate of thine anger in my burning thirst Ps 79.5 But Lord shall thy displeasure burne like fire for ever Shall it never be allayed with the shewers of my teares or with that which infinitely exceede's them both in vallew and power even the dropps of blood which fell from my Redeemer O thou who with a stroake of a rod diddest make the relenting rocks to relieve the thirstie doe thou be pleased to pittie the complaint of a fainting sinner Coole my body which burneth with heate and refresh mee now in this extreamest anguish if it may stand with thy gracious will and pleasure If thou seest it fitting that my life should be prolonged afford mee the meanes for the preservation thereof On thee alone doe I depend and to thee alone doe I addresse my supplication To thee I referre the disposing of this parched and dryed earth humbly besieching thee to bend my will to submit unto thine O let mee never utter any words of despaire or discontent but in all my groanes let mee acknowledg thy justice Holy Father be pleased to fixe my thoughts upon my inward man that my care may be greater for the spirit them the flesh I want that spirituall desire which thou requirest I thirst for that thirst My soule is drie for want of thy grace and so seered is my conscience that I know not my miseries Lord open mine eyes that I may see my wants that so my thirst may be turned into a thirst for thy mercy Thou ô God art rich but I am poore thou art filled with blessings but I am not yet so much as sensible of my want of them O give mee both a sight of my povertie and a desire of thy grace and then graunt unto thy servant according to my desires I thirst Lord I thirst after thee the well-spring yea the ocean of mercy O send mee but a drop of thy heavenly ocean that it may increase in mee a desire of enjoying thy selfe Ps 36.8 Give mee to drinke of thy pleasures as of a river that so I may referre my body to thy holy will willingly yeeld this dust to thy disposall Gen 3.19 This dust shall returne to the dust whence it came but ô let my soule be vallewed so deare in thy sight that it may here have a tast of thy bottomelesse bountie hereafter be admitted to the paradise of thee my God Reu 2.7 Heare mee ô father and graunt my requests Zech 13.1 for the worthinesse of him who opened unto mee a fountaine for sin even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen soliloquy 4 THE FOURTH SOLILOQUIE Treating of Nakednesse both of the out-ward and in-ward man THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Noah was over-come with the wine which hee had dranke sleeping hee lay un-covered in his tent Gen 9.21 vers 22 Accursed Ham saw the nakednesse of his father and tould his brethren but Shem and Iaphet tooke a garment vers 23 and laid it on both their shoulders and went back-ward and covered the nakednesse of their father and their faces were back-ward and they saw not their father's nakednesse All these were the sonnes of one and the selfe-same father but they differed in conditions as if they had not beene hrothers One was so unnaturall that hee seemed to boast in the folly of his parent and when wine had disturbed the braine of his father and the heate of the drinke had layed him naked the wicked sonne as rejoycing at his weakenesse tould his brethren the effect of the drunkennesse But the other two blushing at the effect as well as the cause modestly hid what ought to be concealed Such a Ham have I it is my poverty Onely in this it differeth from the sonne of Naoh that it first inebriateth mee and then uncovereth mee I am so intoxicated with want that it bereave's mee of my senses and being thus poore it leave 's mee naked O where shall I find a Shem or a Iaphet to cover my nakednesse I
King's daughter Ps 45.13 vers 14 which is all glorious with in hath virgins for her companians when shee is brought unto the King Such a virgin should my soule have beene but alasse shee dare's not appeare in the sight of the King because shee hath left off the ornaments of her virginitie Ier. 13.23 Can the Ethiopian change his skinne or the Leopard his spotts Can my soule which is deflowred with the filthinesse of sinne ever hope to be reckoned among the number of virgins Can shee which hath assumed the impudencie of an harlot ever expect to be accounted modest Can shee which is deformed with the staines of iniquitie ever hope to be deemed faire and beautifull Alasse what shall I doe Unlesse my husband be reconciled unto mee it is impossible I should escape the torments of hell Some that have offended have found him gratious why may not I hope for a tast of his mercy Could I but appeare in his sight with beauty and comelinesse hee would presently renew his love and affection O but my soule is full of deformitie and for want of care shee is loathsome and uglie But is there noe recoverie of a decayed forme Is there noe way to restore a declined beauty Though shee be not beautifull yet let her be comely for thus shee may bee allthough shee is black To worke then will I goe Cant 1.5 Is 1.6 and wholly will I labour to make her amiable in the sight of her Lord. Alasse this state and condition which shee is in is full of horrour and disconsolate torments From the sole of the foote even unto the head there is noe foundnesse in her but wounds and bruises and putrifying sores they have not beene closed neither bound up neither mollified with oyntment Ps 38.5 Thus doe her wounds stinke and are corrupt because of my foolishnesse Thus through the stench of her wounds and the loathsomenesse of her sores and the deformitie of her scarrs and the impudencie of her lookes and the foulenesse of her face I know not what to doe to restore her to his favour Is 1.16 But I will endeavour to wash her to make her cleane and to put away the evill of her doeings from before his eyes With my teares I will wash her with my teares I will cleanse her For every spot of sin which hath defiled her I will shed a whole fountaine a river of teares Yet sooner can I drowne my selfe in my teares then they of them selves can recover her beauty It must be thou ô my Iesus that must assist mee it must be thy blood ô my husband wich must cleanse my pollutions Lord accept yet of my teares which are all that I can offer and wash this thy sinfull spouse in the larer of thy blood This must be the way to regaine his love from whose affectionate bosome my soule is divorced By this meanes onely shall shee once againe be receaved as a virgin though shee hath played the harlot with many lovers Ier 3.1 Thus therfore will I come and humbly will I crave his pardon and forgivenesse I will besiech him to preserve my vessel in honour and my soule in sinceritie I will begge I will intreate I will pray and begging and intreating and praying I will say The Prayer BLessed Lord Sonne of a virgin who didst honour virginitie when thou tookest our nature hearken to the cryes of a lamenting maide Mat 8.8 Lord I am not worthy to come unto thee I am not worthy to receave any favour from thee for I have forsaken thee my most indulgent husband Ier 3.1 and played the herlot with many lovers My soule is too foule to be called thine too often hath shee broken her vowes and promises to hope for thy love or thy gratious pardon But Lord what now shall I doe If yet I should fall into a despaire of thy mercies I should increase my disloyaltie and either deny or despise the power of thy passion So greate was thy love to the Church thy Spouse that thou gavest thy selfe to sanctifie and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word Eph 5.25.26 My soule ô Christ is a member of thy Spouse be pleased ô Iesus so to sanctifie and wash her that thou mayest present her to thy felfe without spot or wrinkle both holy and blamelesse vers 27 Zech 13.1 O thou who hast opened a fountaine to the house of David and to the inhabitants of Ierusalem Ps 51.2 for sinne and for uncleanesse doe thou wash mee throughly from mine iniquity and cleanse mee from my sinne Lord as in mercy thou hast given mee chastitie of body so give mee likewise the chastitie of mind and the puritie of soule Suffer not either the flesh or the Devill by their wicked suggestions to seduce mee to uncleanesse Though I am a weake 1 Pet 3.7 2 Cor 4.7 Act. 9.15 Rom 9.23 1 Thes 4.4 vers 5. though but an earthen vessell yet be thou pleased to make mee a chosen vessell a vessell of mercy Cause mee to keepe the vessell of my body and to possesse it in sanctification and honour and not in the lust of concupiscence like the Gentiles which know thee not O be thou my father in the grace of adoption be thou my brother in thy pitty and compassion be thou my husband in thy love and affection and be thou my Iesus in the salvation of my sick and sinfull soule Arme mee with constancy against all assaults of carnall imaginations Give mee modestie in my countenance decency in my apparell civilitie in my behaviour sobrietie in my discourse and contentednesse in my condition Make mee obedient to my parents respective to my superiours courteous to my inferiours and loving unto all Let not my adorning be outward 1 Pet 3.3 Iam 3.17 Prov 1.9 of putting on of apparell but give mee that wisedome which is from above to be as an ornament of grace unto my head and as chaines about my neck Preserve ô Christ both my body and soule in chastitie and honour while I am here upon earth as becometh a virgin espoused to thy selfe Eccl 12.7 Reu 14.3 and when my dust shall returne to the earth as it was let my spirit returne unto thy selfe who gavest it and to thee let it sing that new song with the quire of virgins before thy throne for ever and ever Amen subject 8 THE NINETH SUBJECT Teares of a woman in the state of mariage The Soliloquie Treating of the dueties of a wife to her husband THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray MAn was created in the image of God Gen 1 27. c 2.18 vers 21 vers 22 yet because it was not good that hee should be alone the Lord did make him an helpe that was meete for him A
now to be an adviser of youth Every one honoureth the hoarie haires but if there be as well a frost in the conscience as snow upon the head wherein doe I excell the very heapes of soyle which are cast out from our dwellings The dustie monuments of those our ancestours which in their declining columnes nodde towards the earth doe as gravely â—each the certaintie of our end as these skarres and wrinkles of age in my shrivelled skinne The lesse I enjoy of a radicall moisture the sooner shall I become the sport of the winds and be blowen about in mistie ashes My multiplyed dayes are but the increase of my sinnes unlesse I can make each line in my face a correctour of vice that people may imagine that they were placed there as much by my holy anger at offendours as by the continued account of my flying minuits Most powerfull was that exhortation of the valiant Ioshua when being old and striken in yeeres Ios 23.2 hee put the Israëlites in mind of the mercies of God Most prevalent was the rhetorick of the Doctour of the Gentiles when though as himselfe saith Philem. vers 8. vers 9. hee might be much bold in Christ to enjoyne Philemon that which was convenient yet for loves sake hee rather besought him being such a one as Paul the aged Were I such a one as was Ioshua or Paul my death might be lamented when I shall be caried to my grave When the greate confusion was to come upon Ierusalem for her many rebellions it was not to be the least of their punishments that God would take away from them the prudent and the ancient Is 3.2 c 9.13 Because the people turned not unto him that did smite them neither did they seeke the Lord of hosts vers 14 therfore saith the Prophet the Lord will out off from Israël head and tayle branch and roote in one day vers 15. The ancient and honourable hee is the head and the Prophet that teacheth lyes hee is the tayle Mine yeeres doe number mee among the ancient of our times but doe my vertues ranke mee with those that are truely honourable Those who have well deserved in the time of their lives are embalmed with teares at their sad and dolefull interments But shall I be lamented at my funerall obsequies Peradventure I may for some may remember that I have beene open-handed to the poore and indigent some that I have visited the sick and infirme But what of that These might appeare to others as acts of charitie and yet by some sinister intent which I might harbour in my bosome they may be charged to mine account for hainous offences by the all-seeing God That good which I performe to any of my neighbours ought to be done onely in obedience to my Lord. I must therfore be carefull that both my acts intents be truely good If I doe noe good even in the neglect of good I am guilty of evill If I serve not my God I robb the Saints upon earth Ps 16.3 and I eate and drinke those creatures of his which might relieve his thankfull and obedient servants Whatsoëver I have I doe not create it I onely receave it so I must necessarily acknowledg it not mine but Gods If I imploy not his guifts for the advantage of his glory I doe but borrow that which I intend not to restore so though my God neede 's not my thanks yet needes hee must punish mee for mine un-thankfullnesse What then shall I doe Have I lived thus long at the bounty of my God and am I now to beginne to be thankfull to my God Ould I am Gen 27.2 and as Isaak sayd to Esau I know not the day of my death I must therfore so provide for my death as if this moment were the period of my life The young may dye the ould must dye So teach mee ô Lord Ps 90.12 to number my dayes that I may apply my heart unto wisedome O that I were as good as I am aged Many that are younger in yeeres then my selfe are elder by farre in goodnesse and vertue But why have I beene so slothfull so negligent in the affaires of heaven Must age be honoured Why then doe I not strive to honour him who ever was even before the foundations of the earth were layed I must not be receaved into the quire of saints for the number of my yeeres nor can I come thither unlesse my soule be more innocent then the whitenesse of my head would seeme to resemble Mine age should truely be reckoned from my conversion Numbers of yeeres doe but draw mee neerer to my with-drawing chamber but numbers of vertues may bring mee neerer unto heaven By the multiplying of my minuits I have but for a time prevented the longing wormes I cannot satisfie for my sinnes though I should continue as long as the world shall endure Yet if I could it were folly in mee to expect much longer continuance upon earth I am travelling to the grave Eccl 12.1 Neere it I am The yeeres are now come wherein I must say I have noe pleasure in them Every age hath sinnes which attendeth it Though some have forsaken mee yet others are apt to succeede in their roomes hardly would they be so soone in my grave and be buried in my repentance The more low wee aged people doe stoope towards our mother through the decay of nature for the most part wee grow the more coveteous of that which is digged from the earth But why should wee who are ancient be so desirous of money This is not providence but ungrounded coveteousnesse A litle will serve us for that litle time wee can stay upon the earth But to prevent this sinne my bending to the earth shall put mee in mind of the dust whence I came and viewing the base originall of my flesh I will labour to serve the father of spirits Heb 12.9 Phil 3.8 Rev 21.21 All things will I account but losse and dung that I may winne my Iesus Hee sitteth inthroned in the new Ierusalem the very streetes whereof are the purest gold O my God shutt me out noe longer from those eternall riches I can not choose but offend thee while I remaine upon earth for his sake therfore who dyed on the cresse make hast to receave mee into that heavenly paradise O how sick mee thinks I grow of this wretched world My limbs would willingly yeeld to mortalitie and lye downe in the bed of a silent grave O that the time were come when I shall say to corruption Iob. 17.14 Thou art my father and to the wormes yee are my mother and my sisters Gen 25 17. When Ishmaël was an hundred thirtie and seaven yeeres old hee gave up the ghost and dyed and was gathered to his fathers Isaak gave up the ghost c 35.29 and dyed and was gathered to his people being old and full of dayes Abraham gave up the
hee knoweth not for what I know sinne yet I stand not affrighted not amazed at the punishment thereof Mat. 5.44 I am commanded to love mine enemies but doubtlesse sinne is excepted for such an enemie I am bound to hate Ps 139 22. Ps 97.10 O that I could hate it right sore even as mine enemie It is the Psalmist's charge O yee that love the Lord see that yee hate the thing that is evill Could I thus doe it would bring peace to my selfe and likewise might bring health to my babe Oh I now feele the sting of my sinne piercing his body and the malignitie of my corruption breaking out in his disease Adam in innocency knew noe paine but by reason of his fall diseases are become the fruit of the fruit 2. King 5.27 vers 23 Gehazy for sinne was visited with the disease of Naaman the Syrian and his two talents of silver and two changes of raiment burdening his conscience more then the bodies of his servants 2. Chr 21.18 vers 4. bought him the Leprousie The fire that Iehoram felt in his bowells made him sensible of the punishment for his want of compassion to his brethren whom hee slew with the sword Ex 9.10 The hardnesse of Pharaoh's heart made the ashes to turne into boyles and blaines in his body 1. Cor â—1 30 The Corinthians not discerning the Lord's body were therfore stricken with sicknesse weakenesse and death Hee that was encompassed by the bulls of Basan Ps 22.12 Ps 38.8 vers 3. complained that hee roared for the disquietnesse of his heart but with all hee saith There is noe health in my flesh because of thy displeasure neither is there any rest in my bones by reason of my sinne Lord how thou doest use mee and my child as Gideon did once the Elders of the citty Iud 8.16 thou doest scourge mee with briers and thornes of the wildernesse Gen 3.18 The earth for the sinne of man was cursed with the production of them and wee for sinne are scourged with that curse Yet the briers and the thornes scratch but the body of my languishing infant but they even teare the soule of mee his sad sorrowfull mother Yet I fast with David 2. Sam. 12.22 and I weepe with David and I cry with David Who can tell whether God will be gratious to mee that the child may live This litle lumpe of sinfull clay lyeth at the mercy of him that is the potter It is framed it is shaped into a body into a vessell but diseases would crack it sicknesse would breake it At the taking of a besieged towne that would not yeeld though the men were to be smitten with the edg of the sword Deut 20.14 yet the women and the litle ones were appointed to be spared Lord I am one of those women my child is one of the litle ones Conquer thou but spare take us but preserve us Thy mercy to heathen could not be greater then it can be to Christians Lord what shall I doe The infant still cryeth and still the parent weepeth Sicknesse enforceth the cryes of the child and the cryes of the child enforce the parents teares O how my bowells yerne and burne and frie with in mee and yet noe ease doeth come to my sweetest babe noe comfort to my languishing child I reade that Christ did chide his disciples for rebuking those who brought the litle ones unto him and hee sayd Suffer litle children Mat 19 13. vers 14 and forbid them not to come unto mee for of such is the Kingdome of heaven To him to him therfore will I goe and tender this youngling But alas how can a begging present be acceptable unto him With what confidence can I give him this child when the offering is onely a guiftlesse guift Mine intent is not to loose but to gaine to give but not to leave my child to offer him to God but in hope that hee will spare him a litle while with mee And his indeede hee is hee hath beene his ever since hee was offered unto him in the temple Rom 6 4. ever since hee was buried with him by baptisme But perhaps hee hath since that time beene lost and strayed from him I will therfore take him in mine armes and cary him home againe I will carie him by water for now it is highflood 't is a spring-tide mine eyes are full Wee will swimme together to my Iesus of him I will begge I will cry for I will prevaile for his pardon I know that my Saviour will heare and hee will be ready allso to forgive Hee will forgive my child that ranne away from him and hee will forgive mee my running with my child and when hee hath forgiven hee will certainely remitt the eternall punishment it may be the temporall likewise But how dare I who am the greatest delinquent to goe with my child the lesser sinner How dare I to shew my face to him or appeare in his presence His child it is true I am as well as my babe but I have allso offended him as much as my babe yea more a thousand thousand thousand million of millions of myriads of times more then hee This child as yet doeth know noe malice noe guile noe hypochrisie noe enuie noe evill speaking but I alas not onely know all but allso I harbour all I foster all I embosome all and yet my God saith unto mee by the mouth of his Apostle as well as unto others 1 Pet 2 1. Laying aside all malice and all guile and hypochrisies and envies and evill-speakings vers 2. As new-borne babes desire yee the syncere milke of the word that yee may grow thereby His child I am but woe is mee I have not this long while sucked of the breasts the two testaments or not eagerly or not so understandingly as hee commandeth mee to doe when hee sayth Be not children in understanding 1. Cor. 14.20 howbeit in malice be yee children O how infinitely worse am I then this my child Hee is humble but I am prowde and haughty and high-minded Mat. 18 2. yea though I know that Christ called once a litle child peradventure just such a litle child as mine is and set it in the midst of his disciples and sayd verely I say unto you vers 3. Except yee be converted and become as litle children yee shall not enter into the Kingdome of heaven vers 4. Whosoever therfore shall humble himselfe as this litle child the same is greatest in the Kingdome of heaven The least mee think's I faine would be I would faine be greatest the greatest in the Kingdome yea the greatest in the Kingdome of heaven but the first I like not so well it suites not so well with wy disposition I would not be humble Though I am as litle as was Zacheus Lu 19.4 yet I would be as high as was Zacheus too yea though
I climb up into a tree for it Yea I doe climb and into a tree too O it is the tree of mine owne pride and vanitie which beareth leaves goodly broade shadowing leaves but it beareth noe fruit at all nothing but keyes and those keyes are fitted onely for the wide gate that leadeth to destruction Mat. 7.13 they will never un-lock the gates of heaven This child is young hee is a babe a babe in age a babe in growth I am a babe not in age not in growth but such a one as the Corinthians were to whom the Apostle wrote 1. Cor. 3.1 and sayd that hee could not speake unto them as unto spirituall but as unto carnall even as unto babes in Christ My child is young and tender and simple apt to be led with trifles to stragle abroad with children to be caried any whither at the pleasure of her to whose charge hee is left I am a child too a verier child then mine owne apt to be tossed to and fro Eph. 4.14 and caried about with every wind of doctrine by the sleight of men and cunning craftinesse whereby they lye in wayt to deceave And now what shall I doe I am the verier child of the two the most sinfull of the two and yet my child is afflicted with sicknesse and to mee noe other punishment is at present alotted but the griefe which I have for the sicknesse of my child Hee still cryeth still must I therfore cry Hee groaneth and I must allso groane Yea I doe groane I groane in spirit that my Iesus may cure the diseases of my soule I groane too for my child my prettie sweete babe that my Iesus may howsoever cure the infirmities of his soule and if hee so pleaseth recover allso the health of his body This must be the way to him I must thus goe Io. 14.6 Ps 30.8 for hee himselfe hath styled himselfe the way I will therfore cry unto the Lord and get mee unto my Lord right humbly I will goe to the gate of the physitian the gate of mercy and there I will knock and call and cry for entrance I will fall upon my knees and wring my hands and smite my breast Is 38.14 and weepe and mourne like a Crane and chatter like a Swallow even untill mine eyes faile with looking upward and thus will I say unto him The Prayer GReate God whose power is irresistable and whose pleasure is the rule of thy servant's obedience bow downe thine eare to my sad intreaties Thou hast stricken mee with sorrow who have not mourned for the cause and by the sicknesse of mine infant thou hast taught mee the frailtie of our mortall bodyes I see that all flesh is as grasse 1. Pet. 1.24 and the glory thereof but as the flowre of the field Mine impenitent heart I must confesse deserveth thy justice and my sinfull life this punishment of my tender infant But thou ô Lord art mercifull though I am sinfull and art apt to forgive those that truely repent O my God I desire to be sorrowfull for mine offences and earnestly I besiech thee to give mee true contrition for all my sinnes Iob. 7.20 O thou preserver of men remitt both my sinnes and the punishment which is justly due unto mee for them that I may rejoyce in thy mercy and magnifie thee for thy goodnesse Looke gratiously upon this child who feeleth the scourge though gently of thy justice due both for his and for my transgressions O let not thy wrathfull displeasure continue upon him nor my greater crimes cause an addition unto his torments Thy servant David confessed his sinnes and submitted to thy rod but yet hee cryed concerning his people 2. Sam. 24.19 and sayd These sheepe what have they done I dare not justifie this thy patient but I must needes acknowledg that for mine iniquities as well as for his thou thus doest wound him But ô thou who didst once command Mat. 19 14. that litle children should be brought unto thee didst prefer them for patternes both of innocency and humilitie shew now thy power in the weakenesse of this child Enable him with patience to endure thy visitation and direct mee to the meanes which may conduce to his recoverie if thou in thy secret decree hast so determined it Ps 6.2 Have mercy upon him ô Lord for hee is weake ô Lord heale him and free him from his sufferings Thou art hee that tookest him out of my wombe Ps 22.9 Ps 9.13 Ps 41.2 and canst as easily if thou pleasest lift him up now from the gates of death Preserve him ô God if it may be thy heavenly pleasure and keepe him alive that hee may be blessed upon earth ô heale his soule and raise him up againe Give a blessing to the meanes which shall be used for his recovery Ps 119 91. Ps 56.8 that all things in their order may be knowne to serve thee O let the teares of mee thine afflicted supplicant be put into thy botle and let the cryes of mee thy mournefull hand-mayd who beg for this infant be heard in the eares of thee the Lord of hosts Thou thy selfe didst weepe ô Christ Io. 11.35 for the death of Lazarus take compassion therfore on the weeping mother of this diseased child O let not my teares be shed in vaine but mercifully free this infant from his anguish and sufferings Yet howsoëver thou hast decreed righteous father not my will Mat 26.39 Ier 10.24 but thy will be done Onely let mee besiech thee to visit him in mercy and not in thy fury lest he be consumed and brought to nought Make him able to beare what thou determinest to send and in thy good time raise him out of this miserie Lord give mee allso a willing submission to thy holy pleasure that so I may neither discover too much fondnesse of affection to this my beloved issue when I see him subject to frailtie and mortalitie nor too immoderately grieve if thou receavest him to thy selfe Forgive whatsoëver is amisse in him and let his soule de deare and pretious in thy sight O Let thy mercy pleade against thy severitie let thy gratious promises be had in thy remembrance and let thy Christ be heard in his intercession both for mee and mine To thy will ô Lord make mee readily submitt to thy holy pleasure make mee willingly yeeld Thine is this infant Ps 39.13 and thou lentest him mee ô spare him a litle that hee may recover his strength before hee goe hence and be noe more seene To thy pleasure ô heavenly father I willingly refer him besieching thee to send him thy grace while hee shall remaine upon earth and after that receave him into glory for the worthinesse of thine onely begotten Sonne Iesus Christ our onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 17 THE SEAVENTEENTH SUBjECT Teares of a Mother for the death of her child The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5.
vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen all wept Luc 8.52 and bewayled the litle daughter of Iairus my Iesus forbad their teares saying Shee is not dead but sleepeth O sweete comfort to the lamenting mother whose onely daughter should returne from the dead Shee that had shed the teares of sorrow for the losse of her joy was then to shed teares of joy for the recoverie of the deceased But I weepe and weepe Lam 1.2 and continually weepe the teares are on my cheekes for my child is dead I have noe hope of receaving him againe to life I alas am not the wife of a ruler of the temple I have noe Iesus here in the flesh to worke such a miracle for mee My poore child is dead and hopelesse and helplesse as I am there is noe recovering there is noe recalling him Yet stay howsoever I will call I will cry mee think's hee should not be dead who knoweth but my sweete babe may heare mee Who knoweth but my Redeemer may awake him againe The daughter of Iairus was dead to her parents but shee was not dead to the Messias Hee who will one day awake the dead and rowze them from the graves can now if hee pleaseth speake as powerfully to my babe My Saviour can for hee himselfe is neither dead nor sleepeth True it is that once hee dyed yea hee dyed for mee and so for mine infant too but hee rose againe and from thence-forth can die noe more Rom 6 9. death hath noe more dominion over him This living Saviour of mine may if hee please restore my dead child I will call him peradventure hee may awake Sonne ô my sonne my child my love my joy my dearest infant where art thou Where strayest thou Whither wanderest thou Returne returne litle Saint and cheere up the drooping spirits of thy fainting mother What noe answer Noe speech Not so much as a groane or a sigh Will this frozen clod of earth be noe more â—he carkenet of his immortall soule Oh hee s fled hee 's gone hee 's past re-call alas what shall I doe Is this the blessing of the womb â—o enjoy a child for a yeere or two and then â—o have it hasten to the womb of the earth Is this the joy the delight that women have in the fruit of their bodies Gen 3.16 onely to conceave in sorrow to travell in anguish and when they are delivered after a yeare or two to be bereft of them in a moment Could not thousands of kisses and dandlings and dauncings nay could not sckreeches and groanes and cryes call back my child Alas noe I see they could not all was in â—aine Hee who called Lazarus from the grave hath called my litle one to the grave His soule is with him and nothing now but his body is left with mee From him I would not pluck him mee think's if I might for hee 's at peace with him From mee mee thinks I would not have had him call him for hee knoweth how I loved him and yet his will not mine must be fullfilled O that I could so rest satisfied with the rest of my sweete infant But why doe I onely wish so I must likewise practise it Act. 5.29 lest happily as Gamaliel sayd unto the Iewes I be found even to fight against God I will therfore resolve with David and say 2 Sam. 12.23 Now hee is dead wherfore should I fast Can I bring him back againe I shall goe to him but hee shall not returne to mee I shall goe when hee who keepeth my child in his armes shall be pleased so to embrace mee likewise and to seate mee in his Kingdome by my dearest child Why then should I enuy my litle one the joyes of eternitie If I weepe too much I may discover a discontent at his highest preferement If I truely loved him I shall never enuy him allthough I shall desire that to those heavenly mansions I may certainly follow him Young hee was while mine hee was very young tender weake and yet as young as hee was hee now is suddenly growne older then my selfe hee is my better hee is my senior and hath gotten before mee into glory Yea and his passage thither was fayre and gentle too if I consider his sinnes which hee suffered for onely in his sicknesse His rich soule espied a crevise a chinke a flaw in his muddie earth made by his disease and so escaped flew away even with the wings of that dove that blessed Spirit Ps 55.6 which David panted for and wished for and cryed for saying O that I had the wings of a dove Gen. 7.1 King 13.24 2. King 2.24 Num 21 6. Gen 19 24. for then would I flee away and be at rest Had my child beene drowned as was the ould world or torne in pieces by Lyons as was the disobedient Prophet or by Beares as were the fortie and two children that mocked Elisha or stung with Serpents as were the murmuring Israëlites or burnt with fire and brimstone as were Sodome and Gomorrha or swallowed up quick by the yawning num 16.33 act 12 23. gaping devouring earth as were Corah Dathan and Abiram or had hee beene smitten by the Angel of God and eaten up of wormes of vermine as was Herod Agrippa then my griefe indeede might have beene increased my sorrowes might have beene multiplyed yet at length if it had beene so I ought to have beene contented at length if I belong unto him to whom my child is gone I must have taken up the resolution of patient of holy of devout Iob and have sayd The Lord gave Iob. 1.21 and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the name of the Lord. But my God hath beene more mercifull both to mee and mine for hee made much of my child and finding him a litle froward a litle wayward a litle unquiet hee gently layed him downe to sleepe Hee sent a gentle disease to rock him to sing him to sleepe And seing that hee thus gently thus securely sleepe's in God even in that God who never sleepeth surely whilest I awake I will sing and give praise My glory shall awake Ps 57.8 my Lute and Harpe shall awake all my joyes all my pleasures all my contents shall awake and praise him and magnifie him for ever And yet for all this my resolution for all my serious purpose thus to doe I find that in my musick I stop upon a fret That sudden sigh stole from my heart unawares It may be that it was ashamed to stay there and so slanke away What another Nay this is too much King Solomon telleth mee that there is a time to weepe Ecc 3.4 but hee doeth not tell mee that that time must continue so long as I continue here upon earth What though I am a traveller I
bee none to deliver us O thou who didst suffer thy selfe to be wounded for our transgressions be pleased to cure the wounds and maladies both of the soule and body of thy distressed servant Thou knowest Lord that the feeble soule cannot praise thee with cheerefullnesse nor serve thee with alacritie The sicknesse of the body disturbeth the soule and maketh it un-apt to serve thee with readinesse O say of his disease that It is enough and remove from him speedily this heavy visitation Thine hand ô Lord is layed upon him and the stroake is so heavy that it woundeth us both Mercifull God let the sinnes of both of us be blotted out of thy remembrance like a clowde Is 44.22 and be appeased with us through the merits of thy Sonne Mar 2.17 The whole have noe neede of thee the physitian but wee that are sick O be thou the Physitian to cure our soules and then in thy good time restore thy diseased servant to his former health But if thou hast sent him this sicknesse as a messenger of death ô give him patience to beare and willingnesse to suffer whatsoever thou sendest Ranke him not in the number of those rich and wicked Eccl. 5.17 who have much sorrow and wrath in their sicknesse but ease his sorrow and appease thy wrath Make him willing to submit to thy will and pleasure that so whether hee liveth Rom. 14.8 hee may live unto thee or whether hee dyeth hee may dye unto thee yea whether hee liveth or dyeth that hee may be thine Luc. 18 13. Lord be likewise mercifull to mee a sinner Thou knowest how deepely this affliction woundeth mee To him thou gavest mee whom now thou visitest that so hee might be both my head and my directour and thou knowest my weakenesse and my frailties that I cannot understand I cannot walke in thy wayes without a counseller I cannot apprehend what I reade Act. 8.31 except some man should guide mee O be thou pleased therfore to spare his life whom I am commanded to learne of at home 1. Cor. 14.35 for if thou callest him to the joy of thine heavenly Kingdome let it be thy goodnesse to moderate my sorrow upon earth If thou takest him from my societie let mee not be left alone but send mee the comforter even thy holy Spirit to be my Protectour and my guide unto death Ps 48.14 Release him of his torments whom thou visitest with this sicknesse and ease thou my sorrowes which arise from his paines Give the comforts of thy Spirit both to him and mee that when this painfull life shall have an end wee may be found of thee in peace 2. Pet. 3.14 Is 9.6 through the merits and mercies of the Prince of peace even Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen THE NINETEENTH SUBJECT Teares of a woman lamenting the death of her beloved husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Mary came where Iesus was Io. 11.32 and saw him shee fell downe at his feete saying unto him Lord if thou hadst beene here my brother had not dyed Shee wept indeede yet it was but for a brother and the Iewes allso wept vers 33. yet it was but for a common friend but what was all that to the death of a husband O my husband my husband That very name of husband mee think's would flatter mee with comfort as if I might imagine that hee could heare mee But oh hee is dead hee is dead hee cannot heare mee hee cannot behould mee hee cannot answer mee his eares are locked up his eyes are closed his mouth is sealed his soule is gone O what shall I doe for my head my guide my heart my husband Were my Saviour upon earth againe I could send one to him as Mary did vers 3. who should say Lord behould hee whom thou lovest is dead Dead say I O dead dead hee is gone hee is departed and can never be re-called But why Why can hee not be called back againe Did not my Iesus cause Lazarus to arise when hee had beene fower dayes dead vers 44 vers 39 Yes hee did but what then I neither love my Saviour so well as Mary did nor I feare doeth hee love mee so well as hee did Mary or if both were so yet since miracles are ceased I cannot so much as hope that hee will call back the spirit of my Lord my husband Oh could hee be wooed by the teares of a sinfull woman never did any mourne so much as I would But nothing will perswade I seeke but the disturbance of him whom I mourne for if I desire to call him from his eternall rest Yet I hope that it is noe sinne to grieve that hee is gone I lament not his happinesse but mine owne losse vers 35 My Iesus himselfe did weepe for Lazarus in testimonie of his affection for so sayd the Iewes vers 36 Behould how hee loved him And was my love to my husband so litle or so cold that I should forget to testifie it in a sorrowfull teare O I cannot forbeare the remembrance of him Is 1.2 Lam 1.12 who was deerer unto mee then life it selfe Heare ô heavens and give eare ô earth Was it nothing to you all yee that were by him when yee saw him breathing out his soule and forsaking the world O behould and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow which is done unto mee wherewith the Lord hath afflicted mee in this day of his anger Tell mee not how Iacob lamented the supposed death of his sonne Ioseph Hee was misse-taken in the cause but I see and feele the chillowed clay of mine indulgent husband Iacob mourned onely for a sonne but I for an husband Iacob had more many more I had but one 2. Sam 1.26 and the love of this one to mee did passe the love of women Yet though Ioseph was alive and though hee was the youngest save one of twelve sonnes Gent 37.34 Iacob his father rent his cloathes and put sackcloth upon his loynes and mourned for him many dayes c 23.2 Tell mee not how Abraham bewayled the death of Sarah his wife who dyed in Kiriath arba in the land of Canaan Hee was a man so neither his passion nor his losse could paralell mine Hee had more-wives but I had not more husbands And yet though Abraham lost but onely a wife I reade that hee came to mourne and to weepe for her Tell mee not of Abijah the sonne of a King how hee dyed and was lamented Could a Prince be as neere and deare to the people as a loving husband to the wife of his bofome Yet though neither mariage nor blood could pleade for a teare I find that all Israël mourned for him
man of God had dis-obeyed his command the ould Prophet tould him saying Thy carkeise shall not come into the sepulcher of thy fathers 1. King 13.22 This curse was accounted as full of dread as any that was sent upon the sonnes of men When the young man the Prophet annointed Iehu King over Israë 2. King 9.7 hee tould him that hee should smite the house of Ahab his master and that the doggs should eate Iezebel in the portion of Iezreel vers 10 vers 7. and there should be none to bury her that the Lord might avenge the blood of his servants the Prophets and the blood of all the servants of the Lord at the hand of Iezebel VVhat Iehu was commanded hee did faithfully execute for when hee had caused the eunuches to throw that painted adulteresse out of the window from whence shee looked vers 3. some of her blood was sprinkeled both on the wall and on the horses and hee trod her under foote Afterward when hee had eate and dranke hee sayd vers 34. Gâ—e see now this cursed woman and bury her for shee is a King's daughter vers 35 And they went to bury her vers 37 but they found noe more of her then the skull and the feete the palmes of her hands sothat they could not say This is lezebel Ier. 22.17 Because the eyes of Iehojakim and his heart were not but for his coveteousnesse and for to shed innocent blood and for oppression for violence to doe it vers 18 therfore thus sayd the Lord concerning Iehojakim the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah vers 19 Hee shall be buried with the buriall of an Asse drawne and cast forth beyond the gates of Ierusalem The Lord threatned the Princes of Iudah c. 34.19 and the Princes of Ierusalem and the Eunuches and the Priests all the people of the land which passed betweene the parts of the calfe vers 20 saying I will even give them into the hand of their enemies and into the hand of them that seeke their life and their dead bodies shall be for meate unto the fowles of heaven and to the beasts of the earth But on the contrarie Ahijah the Prophet telleth the wife of ieroboam concerning her sick sonne Abijah 1. King 24.12 vers 13 saying Arise get thee to thine house and when thy feete enter into the citty the child shall dye But all Israël shall mourne for him and bury him for hee onely of Ieroboam shall come to thegrave because in him there is found some good thinge towards the Lord God of Israel in the house of Ieroboam Againe wheÌ„ Huldah the Prophetesse did for etell the destruction of Ierusalem but a respite thereof in the time of Iosiah she tould him 2. King 22.20 saying Behould saith the Lord I will gather thee to thy fathers and thou shalt be gathered into thy grave in peace Thus hath it often discovered the wrath of the All-mighty when the earkeises of the dead have beene denyed their funeralls and on the contrarie it hath sometimes manifested his love when they have peaceably beene brought to their longest home Buriall is the last of dueties which wee owe unto our friends to which both religion and nature and civilitie doe prompt us for ward When Isaak being ould and full of dayes Gen 35 29. did give up the ghost and dyed and was gathered unto his people his two sonnes Esau and Iacob buried him When Iohn the Baptist was beheaded in the prison Mat 14 12. his disciples came and tooke up the body and buried it The disciple that was willing to follow my Redeemer yet accounted it his duety to attend on the funerall of his deceased father and therfore desired saying c 8.21 Lord suffer mee first to goe and bury my father True it is that his request was denyed not as if Christ dis-liked his pietie but to teach him that nothing should hinder him from religion This was as greate an excuse as most that could have beene pleaded and yet even this had not force enough to prevayle for his departure Our father in heaven must be preferred in our service before the fathers of our flesh Againe it may be conceaved that the parent of the disciple dyed in un-beliefe it was therfore more proper that infidells should bury him who were dead to religion then that a disciple of Christ should mixe with the un-faithfull Howsoëver hee was not checked for desiring leave to bury his father but hee was commanded rather to follow his Master Even the glutton in the Gospel had so much favour as to be brought to his grave so saith the text The rich man allso dyed Lu. 16.22 Iob. 21.30 vers 32 vers 33 and was buried Though the wicked saith Iob is reserved to the day of destruction and shall be brought forth to the day of wrath yet shall hee be brought to the grave and shall remaine in the tombe The clods of the valley shall be sweete unto him and every man shall draw after him as there are innumerable before him Ps 49.14 Though death as the Psalmist speaketh doeth feede on the wicked and the upright shall have dominion over them in the morning and their beawty shall consume from their dwellings yet in the grave shall it consume them and in the grave like sheepe shall they lye Thus the Prophet foretelling the buriall of my Redeemer Is 53.9 sayd Hee made his grave with the wicked the rich in his death It is then the duety of the living to provide even for the dead that they may be buried in peace But is it a matter of any moment in what place wee lay the bodies of our deceased friends Is it not all one whether in the fields or whether in our Golgotha's Noe doubtlesse for even the lawes of our land are so justly severe against idolaters that wee suffer not the convicted to be buried in our ground which is dedicated to this use Neither may they be permitted to mixe with our dead who have desperately become the murderers of themselves but they lye in the roades where a stake is set up to give notice to passengers that they unnaturally hastened their owne departure It is a matter of some moment to us who are living that wee lay our deceased friends in a place convenient for allthough it exteÌ„deth not to their knowledg yet it redoundeth to their honour When Iudas had given back the thirtie pieces of silver the price of him that was vallewed Mat 27 9. to the chiefe Priests that hired him they tooke counsell together and seing it was not fitt to mixe that money with the rest of their treasure because it was the price of blood vers 7. they bought the potter's field with it vers 6. to burie strangers vers 7. Thus they who would readily give a reward to a traitour were not so readie to be
charitable to deceased strangers had not the price of him who dyed for all beene the unhallowed summe to purchase the field When they met with that coyne which was not for their use with that they purchased an Akeldama for foreiners But is it not all one in what part of the ground I burie my husband so I lay his body in a place that is set apart for that purpose Surely noe allthough it is equall to him yet is it not to mee Allthough at the resurrection wee shall meete againe at what distance soëver our graves shall be made yet there is some reason wee should be buried so neere as wee may that as our bodies were injoyned a mutuall society in the time of life so they might allso sleepe together in the silent dust It is but just that one grave should receave the bodies of us for whom one bed was designed upon earth that as in our lives wee were made one flesh so after our deaths wee should make one lumpe When Barzillay was offered a favour from King David and wooed to spend his time at the Court hee besought the King saying Let thy servant I pray thee turne back againe that I may dye in mine owne citty 2. Sam. 19.37 and be buried by the grave of my father and of my mother Friends have ever desired to lye by friends that those especially who were knitt together in blood affection might be joyned together in their earth and ashes In the cave of Machpelah which Abraham bought of Ephron for fowre hundred shekells of silver Gen 23.16 was buried both himselfe c 49.31 c. 50.13 Act. 5.10 and Sarah his wife There lay Isaak and Rebekah his wife and there lay Leah and Iacob her husband Though Saphira dyed by the judgment of God for the lye shee had tould yet when shee fell dead at Peter's feete and yeelded up the ghost the young men came in and caried her forth and buried her by her husband It is therfore convenient that I choose a place for the buriall of my husband where if so it may be I my selfe may be layed Convenient it is but not absolutely necessarie for the soules shall not enjoy the lesse felicitie for the remoter distance and seperation of the bodies neither shall the bodies either be sensible of the disjunction or shall it retard their meeting at the generall day Allthough the bones of Iacob were caried into the land of Canaan Gen 50.13 vers 5. and buried in the caye of the field of Machpelah which Abraham bought according as hee had made his sonne Ioseph sweare to him before his death yet hee had formerly buried his beloved Rachel in the way to Ephrah c 35.19 which is Bethlehem and there Iacob set a pillar upon her grave which was called the pillar of Rachel's grave vers 20. When the children of Israel journied from Beeroth of the children of Iaakan to Mosera Deut 10.6 Num 20.1 there Aaron dyed and there hee was buried where as Miriam his wife dyed in Kadesh and was buried there yea and Moses his brother the servant of the Lord dyed in the land of Moab Deut 34.5 vers 6. and it is fayd that God himselfe buried him in a valley in the land of Moab over against Beth-Peor but noe man knoweth of his sepulcher peradventure lest the Israelites should have committed idolatrie and worsâ—ipped him for a God Thus doe I sit and muse about the buriall of him whom so deerely I loved Yet mee think's I could most readily preserve him from the dust if either it were in my power or might bring mee content But goe hee must and I must follow him This narrow roome of his coffin must be put in trust with his mouldering earth and hee who in his life time was entertained with varietie of spacious chambers must now securely sleepe in the chamber of a grave O how it grieveth mee to see this effect of sin Had not Adam fallen my husband had not dyed But oh hee 's dead and since nor teares nor sigh's nor groanes nor cryes have power to recall him it is therfore my duety and it shall be my care to expresse my love to him in the rites of his funerall Friends shall carie him neighbours shall attend on him and my teares shall embalme him The Preacher shall be instructed in the vertue which adorned him that so hee may commend them to others for their due imitation The hearers shall greedily attend to the praises of the dead and not onely acknowledg their trueth but contentedly wish like him to live and like him to dye Now ô now another storme approacheth in mine eyes for the companie beginneth to approach my dores and my neighbours and my friends are hastening to my house But when they come let them not thinke to comfort mee lest they adde to my griefe while they vainely strive to conquer my passion I cannot allow an intermission or forbearance of teares lest I should appeare un-naturall If I doe not weepe I did not love O mee think's I could willingly weepe my selfe into a statue that I might become his monument It is the height of injustice to forbid my teares since the delight of mine eyes is now to be caried to the place of oblivion Mee think 's every thing seemeth to call for a teare which is the object of a sense Those bells which so mournfully accord in their tunes invite my neighbours to come to the funerall yet not to appeare with emptie eyes unlesse they come to learne how to weepe These herbes these strewings which lately were fresh and at ease in their beds are willing to lye even under the feete of those that will mourne and because they have noe eyes themselves to weepe us a teare they lye to receave what shall droppe from the mourners These spriggs of Rosemarie doe call to my remembrance with what joy and delight they pleased mee at my nuptialls but lest I should forget the greater happinesse of the mariage with the Lamb even this herbe which served at our wedding doe's attend at the funerall O mee think's these sprigs have sad Rhetorick sitting on their leaves for those dropps of water which hang upon them were once the blood of the fragrant flowers and now are the teares of the drooping plants Sâ— ready were these spriggs to come when I desired them that they slipped from their stemmes to attend these obsequies These exotick perfumes which delight the sense are willing to be burned rather then the living shall be offended with the dead These sable garments strike terrour into the eye and command the spectatour to lend us a sigh And what other lecture is read here or taught but God's decree of man's mortalitie The chiefe speaker and Oratour is hee who hath now forgotten to speake for the locking up of his senses the silence of his tongue and the coldnesse of his pale frozen body have more force to prove the
and yet 't is a paine to mee to cry yea and 't is follie to cry because I receave 〈◊〉 certaine hurt by it but noe release from thâ— which I cryfor I envy all that enjoy theâ— health and each moment I am ready to repiâ— at him who hath brought mee so low Thâ— smile of a visitant is a dagger at my heart for while I find my selfe thus lingering in a sicknesse I looke that the whole world should decay for companie I am fretfull and peevish and disturbed with every thing yea even by a continuance of the fretfulblesse it selfe One while I faine would have my life prolonged another while I cry out for a speedie departure Sometimes I have a kind of glimmering oâ— health and then I am so proude of it that 〈◊〉 adventure too much Either I eate too much or I walke too much or I discourse too much or one thing or other exceeding its proportion speedes mee back againe to my former weaknesse then am I sorrie for what I have done and yet am I apt either to denie or excuse it Thus ô thus is my body perplexed but all this while I say nothing of my soule I am sensible of the anguish which I feele in my body but in what estate or condition doe I find my foule My body is allmost resolved into that whereof it was framed my soule therfore is not long to continue upon earth When they shall part it will prove either a day of tryumphant blisse or else a dismall time â—t will be of horrour and confusion O come come thou fond and foolish woman looke â—o that darling which ere long shall be crowned with a diademe of glory or else be damned with the rebellious ghosts Well I am resolved I will now take up banishing the thoughts or hopes of recoverie I will prepare my selfe that I may meete my God O my God assist mee in this my resolution and blesse mee in the performance part 2 The second part of the Soliloquie expressing the cause of the maladie HAd Adam continued in his integritie man should have beene freed from the tortures of sicknesse The dead and trampled earth should not have beene freer from thornes and thistles then man the living earth from maladies and infirmities But ô I feele the sowernesse of the apple in the bitternesse and sharpnesse of my disease and needes must I therfore remember mine originall corruption This is the cause of my languishing this is the ground of my feeblenesse But is this all Have I nothing but the staine which I inherit from my parents to be termed the cause of this my miserie One onely offence to my greate creatour hath power enough to purchase my disquiet But have I but one Is mine hereditarie sinne mine onely crime Surely I feare that I have something amisse in mine owne thoughts and words and actions as well as in my parent's un-kind legacie I cannot believe that God doeth afflict my body with these chastisements yea and threaten my soule too with eternall tortures and all this onely for a sinne of Adam so many ages since committed Thus indeede hee might doe and yet I should not chuse but justifie him when hee should speake Ps 51.4 and cleare him when hee should judg Oh but I feele some-thing else at my heart as weightie as lead which make's mee cry out it is some-thing at my conscience which telleth mee that I have more to answer for then the pollutions of nature it assureth mee that I have offended cruelly deepely desperately I have offended 'T is true ô mine angrie my disturbed conscience I must confesse I have Oh my heart I feele there I feele there something more then an universall guilt I have offended I have sinned actually greatly mightily bloodily in every thought in every word in every action I have so industriously imployed my time to the dishonour of my God that I cannot remember I ever pleased him Guiltie guiltie I must I doe confesse my selfe highly guiltie of fearefull crimes such as disturbe mee in the very remembrance O my God vouchsafe mee a repenting heart for them yet never without the assurance of thy mercy and pardon through the sufferance of thy Sonne How can I choose but find my sinnes even in my very feeble and consuming sicknesse Since I have so many testimonies in the sacred pages that God is noe revenger untill mee are delinquents All disturbances of the body doe un-doubtedly arise from the pollutions of the soule The Prophet David confessed it and said Ps 38.3 There is noe soundnesse in my flesh because of thine anger neither is there any rest in my bones by reason of my sinnes My Redeemer justified it when hee who had beene shaken with a palsie was brought unto him lying upon his bed for hee cured him Mat 9.2 and said Sonne be of good cheere thy sinnes be forgiven thee And againe when thirtie eight yeeres had beene spent by a man in a lingering disease and after that my Iesus had cured him when hee found him in the Temple Io 5.14 his words to him were Behould thou art made whole sinne noe more lest a worse thing come unto thee Saint Paul assured the Corinthians that because they did unworthily approach the table of the Lord 1. Cor 11.30 even for this cause many were weake and sick among them and many slept Thus the punishment is sent from God but the offence is both in and from our selves But have all diseases the same originall Is sinne the ground of every sicknesse Cannot I be afflicted with this languishing maladie but it must needes proceede from the wickednesse I have committed Noe doubtlesse for this very kind and manner of sicknesse hath particularly beene threatned yea and sent too as a punishment for disobedience A languishing hath beene threatned and sent upon the very creatures for the sinnes and wickednesse of the offending people Thus the Prophet bemoaneth the punishment of the Iewes for their greate rebellions and saith The earth mourneth Is 24.4 and fadeth away the world languisheth and fadeth away the height of the people of the earth doeth languish Ier 14.2 Thus in a grievous famine Iudah mourned and the gates thereof languished they were black unto the ground and Ierusalem was gone up Is 16.8 Thus the fields of Hesbon languished and the vine of Shibmah the lords of the heathen brake downe the principall plants thereof Ioel 1.10 Thus among the Iewes the field was wasted the land mourned for the corne was wasted the new wine was dryed up the oyle languished vers 12 the vine was dryed up and the figg-tree languished Thus in the confusion of Egypt the fishers mourned Is 19.8 and all that did cast the angle into the brookes lamented and they that spread netts upon the waters did languish Thus among the enemies of the church the earth mourned and languished c 33.9 Lebanon was ashamed and hewen
him who is emnipotent Hee did worke many wonders by his Apostles Act 19 11. even upon the living and speciall miracles by the hand of Saint Paul vers 12 so that from his body were brought unto the sick handkercheifs or aprons the diseases departed from them the evill spirits went out of them And hee who wrought cure of the people without meanes can give such a blessing to the meanes that I may thereby be restored againe many diseases my Redeemer himselfe did cure while hee was upon earth It is true that hee is now not here in the flesh hee is ascended into heaven But what of that Though his humanitie be there yet his divinitie is every where I will therfore submit to his pleasure and I will hope for my health While hee was upon earth hee delighted in cures and his mercie remaineth still the same readily will I therfore submit to his pleasure Mar. 2.3 Once was a man so weake with the palsie that hee was borne by fower vers 4. and when by reason of the preasse they could not come neere the doores of the house where my Saviour was they un-covered the roofe and let him downe in his bed When Iesus saw their faith vers 5. hee said unto the sick of the palsie Sonne thy sinnes be forgiven thee Mat 8.14 When Peter's wive's mother was sick of a feaver vers 15 my Saviour did but onely touch her hand and the feaver left her and shee arose and ministred unto them c. 4.24 The people brought unto him all sick folke that were taken with diverse diseases and torments and those that were possessed with devills and those that were lunatick and those that had the palsy and hee healed them It is hee alone that can heale and therfore to him alone will I pray that I may be healed Were my disease as ould as my body my body as ancient as time it selfe yet hee that can remit my sinnes can restore my health But my disease is not so ancient and therfore the cure doeth not seeme to be so hard Suppose that I have languished a moneth a quarter a whole yeare What if three What if sixe What if a dozen yeares It exceedeth not either his power Mat. 9.20 or skill to make mee whole Hee cured a woman who for twelve yeares together had beene diseased of an issue of blood in her body Mar 5.26 Shee poore woman had suffered many things of many physitians and had spent al that shee had and yet was nothing bettered but rather grew worse Thus despairing of any helpe from man shee addressed herselfe to him who is both God and man To him that cure was so easie that shee did but onely touch the hemme of his garment strait way the fountaine of her blood was dryed up vers 29 and shee felt in her body that shee was healed of that plague There was a miracle indeede that with the touch of a garment the disease should be cured If such power did lye in the hemne of his garment what vertue must I needes believe did lie in his body But what comfort can I receave from this which I reade when I know that that body is ascended into heaven Fond woman as I am why doe I thus waver Though his flesh be from mee yet his spirit is with mee Yea and his flesh and his blood is offered still unto Christians upon earth Hee giveth not onely his garment to touch but allso his flesh and that not to touch onely but even to eate to seede upon in the blessed sacrament That woman was cured by the touch of his garment and shall not I hope for his mercy who feede upon his flesh and blood in the Eucharist Yes yes I must I will believe that hee for his owne sake will remitt my sinnes and that if it may advantage the glory of his name hee â—an and may recover my health Yet all this while I thinke but of a disease of twelve yeares standing What if I had beene sick for eighteene yeares together Might I therfore despaire of his power Noe noe I might not I durst not Lu 13.11 Doe not I reade of a woman who had a spirit of insirmitie eighteene yeares and was bowed together and could in noe wise lift up herselfe A disease shee had which in effect was not alltogether unlike unto mine for I stoope too and am allmost bowed together through the weakenesse and infirmitie of my body and cannot lift up my selfe but am enforced to require the aide of my friends and attendance to raise mee and to support mee Yet I reade that when Iesus saw her vers 12 hee called her unto him and said unto her Woman thou art loosed from thine infirmitie vers 13 And hee layd his hands on her and immediately shee was made straite and glorified God It may be his pleasure to speake such comfort allso unto mee for I have not beene sick so many yeares as was shee and I seeke my Saviour which shee did not allthough I must acknowledge it is his grace which worketh in mee this my seeking of him yea and I begge the cure whereas shee was asked if shee would be cured Why then should I not hope that hee will lay his hands upon mee and make mee straite and restore mee whole as hee did that woman that I may glorifie him for it But suppose that my disease had continued above twentie yeares suppose above thirtie should the long continuance make mee determine the cure impossible Nothing lesse for I reade that a certaine man was at the poole of Bethesda Io. 5.5 who had an infirmitie thirtie and eight yeares vers 6. and when my Iesus sam him lye there and knew that hee had beene now a long time in that case hee said unto him Wilt thou be whole vers 7. The impotent man answered him Sir I have noe man when the water is troubled to put mee into the poole but while I am coming another steppeth downe before mee vers 8. vers 9. Iesus saith unto him Rise take up thy bed and walke and immediately the man was made whole and tooke up his bed and walked Loe here is some comfort still thirtie and eight yeares continuance was nothing to Christ Hee who is eternall seeth all things at once and doeth all things without difficultie Surely that man was intended for a patterne of patience and that I might learne contentedly to suffer what my God shall lay upon mee Hee despaired not of health though his disease was inveterate but hee lay â—… the poole and expected still the hand of mercy â—o lift him into the water nothing doubting â—f the cure if hee could in due time but get â—…to the poole Nor may I despaire of what â—y God can doe but I must continue in my â—pplications enduring mine affliction with â—tience and referring all to his holy pleasure 〈◊〉 must
be as constant in my prayers as the man â—as constant in his attendance at the poole At â—y gate ô Christ I must I doe continually â—e Thy blood ô Iesus is the onely Bethesda â—r my distressed soule Lord leade mee into â—…at poole of blood by the hand of faith and then I shall not distrust the effect of that â—ver O cleanse my soule and then I shall willingly submit to thy pleasure for my body But still ô still my paines increase and my flesh consume's I pray and I begge and I beseech and yet I find noe ease noe reliefe The continuance of my sicknesse doe's but â—each mee the ignorance of the Physitians or â—he deadnesse of the druggs and potions I am dyeted and I am physicked and my body is become the very shop of an Apothecarie and yet I find noe ease noe comfort 'T is true that thirtie and eight yeares continuance of a maladie hindered not Christ from curing with a word But if it had remained longer could hee have done the like Yes surely why not Hee himselfe could as well have dooâ— that as have given power to his Apostles tâ— restore the Criple who had beene fortie yeaâ—… lame This was done by Peter and Iohn for the man that was above fortie yeares ould Act 14 22. c 3.2 and had beene lame from his mother's wombe even on him was shewed this miracle of healing I may hope for some favour too from the hands of my God for though to mee it might appeare allmost a miracle that I should recore yet with God it is as easily effected by a word as was the greate creation of heaven and earth I will therfore submit to his pleasure and 〈◊〉 upon his goodnesse Hee is a God of mercy an tender compassion hee is the greate Physitia both of soule and body hee hath allways delighted in acts of charitie It was his promise upon some conditions to heale a whoâ—… land 2. Chr 7.14 for his owne words are If my people which are called by my name shall humble themselves and pray and seeke my face and turnâ— from their wicked wayes then will I heare from heaven and will forgive their sinne and wiâ—… heale their land I am one of the people ô Christ that is called by thy name for a Christian I am though a sinfull and a feeble Christian and thou hast humbled mee with this thy visitation and grace thou hast given mee I blesse the for it to humble my selfe in the consideration of mine iniquities and to pray and to seâ—… thy face Lord perfect thy good workes and make mee turne from mine iniquities and then heare mee from heaven and forgive my sinne and if it may stand with thy eternall decree heale thy servant Hee hath likewise shewed his mercy even in healing of waters 2. King 2.21 for his Prophet Elisha went forth to the spring of un-wholesome waters and cast salt in there and said Thus saith the Lord I have healed these waters there shall not â—e from thence any more death or barren land So the waters were healed vers 22 according to the saying of Elisha the Prophet Lord I have waters too that require thy helpe for they are un-wholesome they are sinfull I weepe and I lament my teares runne downe on my cheekes Lam. 1.2 and all either with extreamitie of anguish or feare of death or despaire of thy power to restore mee to health few of them are for my sinnes few of them for my transgressions But some hope I have that thou wilt likewise heale these waters for allready thou hast cast some salt into them I find by my tast that they are brackish that they are brinish Lord let mee be noe longer a barren land but make mee fruitfull in good works Col 1.10 Ps 1.3 that I may be like unto a tree planted by the rivers of water that bringeth forth his fruite in due season and then though this leafe for a time may faile though the flower of my body may be cropped or mowed for the harvest yet I know that my Redeemer will not cast it into the fire but will make it spring up hereafter in eternall glory Hee hath allso healed the persons of diverse of his people Ps 107.20 for so saith the Psalmist Hee sent his word and healed them delivered them froÌ„ their destructions Is 19.22 So Isaiah prophesieth concerning Egypt saying The Lord shall smite Egypt hee shall smite and heale it and they shall returne even to the Lord and hee shall be intreated of them and shall heale them O what comfortable words were these to Egypt Hee may if hee please cheere mee up allso with the like for hee hath allready smitten mee and in his loving kindnesse hee hath so sanctified this affliction that by it hee hath made mee to returne unto him O Lord now if it be thy pleasure be thou intreated of mee heale mee This God is the same God who speaketh by the mouth of Moses and saith See now that I Deut 32.39 even I am hee and there is noe God with mee I kill and I make alive I wound and I heale neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand This is the same Lord whom Hannah did magnifie in her thankfull Song and said The Lord killeth and maketh alive hee bringeth downe to the grave 1. Sam. 2.6 and bringeth up This is the same God of whom Iob his servant professeth and boasteth saying Hee maketh sore Iob. 5.18 and bindeth up hee woundeth and his hands make whole This is the same Lord VVhom David commandeth his soule to magnifie and saith Ps 103 1. vers 2. Blesse the Lord ô my soule and all that is within mee blesse his holy name Blesse the Lord ô my soule and forget not all his benefits Who forgiveth all thine iniquities who healeth all thy diseafes vers 3. and who redeemeth thy life from destruction vers 4. this God is the same God who alone hath power over soule body can if hee pleaseth preserve them both Hee it is whose mercies were promised to his Church when by his Prophet hee said The light of the Moone shall be as the light of the Sunne Is 30.26 and the light of the Sunne shall bee seaven fold as the light of seaven dayes in the day that the Lord bindeth up the breach of his people and healeth the stroake of their wound Hee it is who giveth such Euangelicall promises to penitent Iudah and saith I have seene his wayes and will heale him c 57.18 I will leade him allso and restore comforts to him and to his mourners I create the fruite of the lipps peace peace to him that is farre off vers 19 and to him that is neere saith the Lord and I will heale him This is hee who inviteth Israel to come unto him and saith Returne yee back-sliding Children and I will heale your backsliding
set it forth from day to day Ps 96.2 part 2 The Second part of the Soliloquie wherein is set forth the certaintie of Death A Braham is dead the Prophets are dead and my Saviour Christ sayd Io 8.52 If a man keepe my sayings hee shall never tast of death At this the Iewes were very much stumbled and mee think 's they had some collour for their contention about it For if Abraham were dead Rom. 4 11. Iam 2.23 Gen 22 18. Lu 1.70 who was the father of the faithfull who was the friend of God hee in whose seede all the nations of the earth were promised a blessing because hee obeyed the voyce of the Lord And if the Prophets were allso dead those holy Prophets which have beene since the world began and by whom the Lord did reveale his pleasure unto the people If all these were dead well might the Iewes wonder when our Saviour said If a man keepe my saying hee shall never tast of death Well indeede they might wonder for ignorance is the cause of all our merveiles Did wee but know a certaine reason for every event wee should never wonder at that which happeneth but wee should magnifie the first greatest cause which is God The Iewes wondered because they were ignorant and supposed that our Saviour had spoken of a temporall death whereas hee meant that which is eternall True it is that the temporall death is an effect and fruit of the first sinne but eternall death is the punishment of impenitencie and infidelitie for those who both can and truely doe repent neither can nor shall be lyable to an eternall death Nay dye they cannot in any kind for this which wee call a death shall be to them but a deliverance and that death which is a perpetuall living death in the land of darknesse they shall be certainly freed from by the blood of the Sonne of God Yet this passage this sweete change in the godly and allso this gate which openeth to the ungodly the way to eternall woe the Scripture doeth commonly tearme a death this death cannot possibly be avoyded by the children of Adam Heb. 9.27 for it is appointed unto men once to dye 'T is true 't is true indeede I am ready to find it verefied in my selfe for the harbingers of this death have taken up my body where it intendeth to lodg The weakenesse of my limbs and the faintnesse of my spirits and the shortnesse of my breath and the lownesse of my voyce and the palenesse of my cheekes and the hollownesse of mine eyes all these doe but assure mee of the approaches of this death But is there noe resistance Is there noe reversing of the decree Noe repealing of the statute Alas noe none at all This body which hath beene pampered with the delicacie of meates must now be slaughtered and make a feast for the wormes These bones which have layen upon the beds of ease must become as tables for the loathsome vermine And this skinne this prowde skinne which hath stollen so much time to imploy in the suppling and colouring and smoothing and covering of it must serve like a cloath spread on these tables whereon must be presented this collation for the wormes Short is my life fleeting are my dayes and my winged minuits fly with such speede that I caâ— hardly count them so fast as they consume Wheâ— I enjoyed the most sound and beloved health even then the shortnesse of my life was discovered in my breath for I was intrusted onely with a litle ayer which neither was in my power long to keepe nor long without it could I possiblie continue I was so false in my promises which I made unto my God that hee would not trust mee long with the keepng but of a litle of that element I have allways lâ—ved at the brinke of death and yet never seriously enough thought of that which now is ready to approach I never thought indeede of the hower of my death by a due preparation to entertaine it when it should come Nay I fondly imagined that it must of necessitie keepe the roade of diseases sicknesse whereas it might have hastened by wayes un-expected When I was healthfull I grew so proude that I imagined certainly it either could not or durst not assayle my body and yet when I was afflicted with the smallest paine then againe I was so cowardly dejected that I was afraid it hastened by each part and member When I smarted I was taken off from my pride but the cure of that sinne was an immoderate and a slavish feare But now I am well assured that neither strength nor youth nor beauty nor physick nor any thing else can secure our bodies from returning to the earth True it is that the dead know not any thing Eccl 6.5 neither have they any more a reward for the memorie of them is forgotten but the living know that they shall dye c 8.8 There is noe man that hath power over the spirit to reteine the spirit neither hath hee power in the day of death Wherfore then have 〈◊〉 so long lived in ignorance or forgetfullnesse of mine end If I had remembred it I would have fitted and prepared mine accounts against the time it should come If I had knowne it I would have laboured to have made the judge my friend But ô I forgot it for I increased my sinnes and thought not of the debt I was ignorant too and knew not the terribloesse of the Iudg. Now mee think's these cold and clammie sweats doe chiefely arise from my chiding conscience and from the convulsions which there I suffer through the guilt of my sinnes I never was so carelesse or ignorant of death as I now am certaine of it yet afraid to dye Eccl 12.7 Iob. 30.23 Now I am sensible that my dust shall returne to the earth as it was I know that the Lord will bring mee to death to the house appointed for all the living Die say I Yes But must I dye Yes But when That I know not many dayes or howers I cannot expect to live who am allready pined into the leanenesse of an Anatomie But where must I dye That I know not neither even in this bed it is most likely where I now lye languishing in the torments of my disease But how or by what meanes must I dye Nor can I tell that allthough this sicknesse seemeth to be dispatched hither for this very purpose But if it be so sure that dye I must is it likewise as sure to what place I shall goe O this question is the common troubler of the dying There are but two havens where soules can arrive the one is the holy land the new Ierusalem the haven of eternall happinesse the other is a land too but it is a land of darknesse a land of smoakes and stinkes a place of eternall horrour To the former the godly are wafted by a convoy of
I am strongly assured that shortly even presently Ps 36.9 in thy light in thy Kingdome whereof thou thy selfe art the light Reu 21 23. Eccl. 7.1 I shall see light Now doe I with heavenly comfort assure my selfe that the day of death is better farre better then the day of my birth for I was borne to sinne Ps 23.4 but I dye to reigne Now though I walke through the valley of the shadow of death I can feare noe evill for thou art with mee thy rod and thy staffe thy comfort mee VVhat though I am counted with them that goe downe to the pit Ps 88.4 andam as a man that hath noe strength Iob. 17 1. VVhat though my breath be corrupt though my spirit be spent though my dayes be extinct and though the graves be ready for mee vers 13 VVhat though the grave be mine house and presently I shall make my bed in the darknesse VVhat though corruption vers 16 and the worme shall goe downe to the barrs of the pit and our rest shall be together in the dust VVhat though death be come up into my windowes into mine eyes Ier. 9.21 Ps 107 18. and be entered into the tabernacle of my body VVhat though my soule abhorreth all manner of meate and I draw necre unto the gates of death VVhat though my heart be sore pained within mee Ps 55.4 Ps 44.17 and the terrours of death be fallen upon mee Yet though all this be come upon mee I will not forget thee o my God neither will I deale falsly in thy covenant vers 18 My heart shall not be turned back neither shall my stepps decline from thy way noe vers 19 though thou hast sore broken mee in the place of dragons and doest cover mee with the shadow of death I am goeing now the way of all the earth Ios 23.14 and doe know in my heart and in my soule that not one thing shall faile mee which the Lord my God hath promised to his elect Now am I joyfully goeing to the gates of the grave Is 38.10 I am deprived of the residue of my yeares vers 11 vers 12 I shall behold man noe more with the inhabitants of the earth Mine age is departed and is removed from mee even as a shep-heard's tent But yet Lord Ps 39.7 what is my hope Truely my hope is even in thee I shall speedily depart then shall I joyfully be freed from sinne Mat 26 38. The soule of my Redeemer was exceeding sorrowfull even unto death and all for my sake as well as for others that I might now be joyfull and rejoyce unto life Mee think 's that voyce from heaven which was heard by the Apostle is now sounding in mine eares and saying Reu. 14 13. Blessed are the dead which dye in the Lord from hence forth yea faith the spirit that they may rest from their labours and their workes doe follow them Mee think's I find the words of the Psalmist full of truth and comfort Ps 116.15 that Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints O now mee think's like that blessed martyr Saint Stephen looking up to the heavens I see thâ—… open Act 7.55 Ps 31.5 and the glory of God and my Iesus staâ— ding on the right hand of his father I come Lord I come Into thy hands I commend my spirit for thou hast redeemed mee ô Lord thâ—… God of truth Take mee into thine armes ô God Act. 7.59 Convey mee to thy Kingdome ô Christ Lord Iesus receave my spirit Amen subject 27 The TWENTIE-SEAVENTH SUBJECT Teares in the distressed time of civill warrs The Soliloquie containing a patheticall and grievous lamentation for the present distractions both in the Church Common-wealth by reason of these cruell most bloody warrs THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray SHall a trumpet be blowne in the city and the people not be afraid Amos. 3.6 Saith the Lord by the mouth of his holy Prophet A trumpet Why Lev. 25 9. Is that so dreadfull So terribleâ— I find that a trumpet of Iubilee was appointedâ— be sounded in the day of atonement throughout 〈◊〉 the land of promise when the Israelitâ— should come into it and certainly wheâ— that trumpet sounded the people rejoyced 〈◊〉 were not afraid Yea but the Lord called not to rejoycing and Iubilees when he threatned Israel by the mouth of that Prophe who was among the herdmen of Tekoa Amos. 1.1 The first sound of a trumpet that ever was heard as the Scriptures mention was a cause of trembling Ex. 19.14.15 for the third day after Mosâ— went downe from the Mount unto the people vers 16 in the morning there were thunders anâ— lightnings and a thick clowde upon the mount and the voice of the trumpet exceeding lowd so that all the people that were in the campe trembled Yea they so trembled and were so afraid when they saw the thunderings c. 20.18 and the lightâ— nings and the noise of the trumpet and the mountaine smoaking that they removed and stood a farre off vers 19 and said unto Moses Speake thou with us and wee will heare but let not God speake with us lest wee die This was the first sound of a trumpet that ever was heard and I find that this was a cause of trembling Againe I reade that the trumpet was ordained for the sounding an all arme Num. 10.5 and that o that is it which now sound 's in our eares Nothing but a point of warre nothing but newes of firâ— and fword is heard among us The â—…umpets the trumpets oh they sound they â—…nd a shrill and horrid dinne a fearfull â—…se they make in our eares and our newâ—…ced cities and our new-fortified townes â—…e encompassed as once Iericho was when â—…e trumpets of rams-hornes were blowne by â—…e priests and the people showted Ios 6 8. vers 16 Surely that â—…ay is come upon us which the Lord threatâ—…ed Ierusalem with by the mouth of his Proâ—…het for the mighty man cryeth bitterly Zeph. 1 14. vers 15 the â—…y of wrath is come upon us the day of trouble â—…d distresse the day of wastnesse and desolaâ—…on the day of darknesse and gloominesse the â—ay of cloudes and thick darknesse vers 16 the day of the â—rumpet and all-arme against the fenced cities â—nd against the high towers vers 17 Distresse is come â—pon us that we walke like blind men because we have sinned against the Lord and our blood is â—owred out as dust and our flesh is as the dung Oh that is fallen upon us which was threatâ—…ed to Egypt Our land is watered with blood Eze 32 6. wherein wee doe swimme even to the mounâ—aines and
and leaned his hand on the wall and a serpent bitt him Wayling is in all our streetes vers 16 and wee sayâ— all the high wayes Alasse Alasse Wâ— call the husbandman to mourning and such are skillfull of lamentation to wailing vers 17 â—… all vineyards is wayling for the Lord doth pâ—… thorow us O that now at last wee wouâ— seriously lay this to our hearts vers 14 and seeh good and not evill that wee may live and so the Lord the God of hosts may be with us O that wee would once hate the evill vers 15 and love the good and establish judgment in the gate It may be that the Lord of hosts would be gracious unto the remnant of Ioseph But while wee remaine in our rebellions wee must looke to lye downe in our miseries as at this day Ps 79.2 The dead bodies of the servants of the most high are given to be meate unto the fowles of the heaven and the flesh of his saints unto the beasts of the earth vers 3. Their blood is shed like water round about the Kingdome and there are none to bury them Wee are become a reproach to our neighbours vers 4. a scorne and derision to them that are round about us vers 5. How long Lord wilt thou be angry for ever vers 8. Shall thy jealousie burne like fire O remember not against us our former iniquities let thy tender mercies speedily prevent us for wee are brought very love vers 9. Helpe us ô God of our salvation for the glory of thy name O deliver us Ps 125 3. and purge away our sinns for thy name's sake O let not the rod of the wicked 〈◊〉 upon the lot of the righteous lest the righteous 〈◊〉 forth their hands to iniquity Oh how our â—eres doe enforce us to flee to save our lives Ier 48.6 Prov 28.1 Gen 19 22. â—…ke us like the heath in the wildernesse â—…e sometimes flee when none pursueth us â—hen Sodome was destroyed Lot had a Zoar 〈◊〉 flee unto when Ierusalem was layed wast â—…ne of the inhabitants had a Pella to escape â—…to O that I now had wings like a dove Ps 55.6 〈◊〉 then would I flee away too and be at â—…st Lo then would I wander far off vers 7. and â—…maine in the wildernesse Ioel 2.11 for the day of the â—ord is greate and very verrible and who can â—ide it Hee is the true God Ier. 10.10 hee is the liâ—ing God and an everlasting King at his â—rath the earth doth tremble and the nation 〈◊〉 not able to abide his indignation Ye â—hat doe I talke of fleeing and wish for the â—vings of a dove that I might flee Alasse whither would I flee Can the mountaines â—…r the hills cover mee from the all-seeing Lord of hosts Ps 139.7 Whither shall I goe from his spirit or whither shall I flee from his presence If I ascend up to heaven hee is there If I make my bed in hell behold he is there allso vers 8. vers 9. vers 10 If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea even there shall his hand leade mee and his right hand shall hold mee If I say vers 11 surely the darknesse shall cover mee even the night shall be light about mee Yea vers 12 the darknesse hideth not from him but the night shineth as the day the dâ—…nesse and the light to him are both alike Wâ—… then shall I yet doe Abide his wrath I cannot endure these troubles vexatioâ—… and impoverishings and heart-breakings aâ—… soule-bleeding perturbations any longer I cannot and yet whither to goe or flee to shun and avoyd them I know not Well I am yet resolved what I will doe Yes 't is my onely way and doe it I must I will Since I cannot flee from God I will flee to God And yet I will flee from him from his wrath from his anger from his displeasure and for all that I will flee to him allso and to none but him to his mercy to his promises to his tender compassions which never faile I have displeased him with my sinns but I will displease my selfe for thus displeasing my kind my good my loving God I have moved the holy one of Israel to anger by mine iniquities But I will be angry with my selfe for moving him in whom I live Act 17 28. and move and have my being I will come unto him with teares mee thinks mine eyes already begin to water and I will cry unto him Iob. 34.28 Ps 65.2 for hee heareth the cry of the afflicted and I will pray unto him for hee is a god that heareth prayer and I will sigh unto him for he caused a marke to be set upon the fore-heads of those in Ierusalem who did sigh and cry for all the abominations which were done in the midst Ez 9.4 thereof Oh who can forbeare a shewer of teares that is but the least sensible of the stormes of our calamities Iud. 5.15 Who can choose but have greate thoughts of heart for these divisions of Reuben For my part surely my heart is not all stone some part of it at least is flesh and therefore it must needs be sensible both of the generall sufferances and of my particuler miserable condition Our Chirurgians have a stone composed by art which they call the infernall stone with which they stupifie and make dead the flesh where they intend to make an orifice for a fountenell or issue From my heart should issue a fountaine of sorrow for the cause of my God's displeasure and yet I am afraid mee thinks to have the orifice made I would be content to grieve but mee thinks I would not have it painfull I would doe it at cheape rates O but I must both grieve and I must be pained too yea I must be cut to the heart yet not as were the high Priest and the Counsell Act. 5.29 when Peter and Iohn tould them that they ought to obey God rather then men where upon they were cut to the heart and tooke counsell to slay them vers 33 c. 7.54 nor as they were cut to the heart when they gnashed with their teeth upon Stephen but I must howsoever be cut or at least I must be pricked at the heart as were Peter's converts c 2.37 when they said unto him and to the rest of the Apostles Men and brethren what shall wee doe Oh but I am afraid that I shall not be sensible enough for I feare that I have an infernall stone lying upon my heart which the devill layeth there purposely that I may not be sensible Well if thus it be I shall find it by the working by the tingling I am sure that God now doth a Thing in our Israel 1. Sam. 3.11 at which both the eares of every one that heareth