by our words we shall be iustified and also condemned And moreouer the wise and gracious words of Abigail to king Dauid came to my mind whose words were so perswasiue and pithy that they staied his furie what time hee was resolute and at the point to commit a great and horrible slaughter And on the other side I considered that we women are apt to speake and how the Apostle Iames willeth vs to bee swift to heare and slow to speake Hereupon I gathered what a grace and goodly ornament it is for a woman to speake wisely and seldome in modestie and vnder correction and therefore I resolued to pray continually that God would set a watch before my lips lest I should offend in my tongue which though it be but a little member yet as the Apostle saith if it be once kindled is set on fire of hell These such like sayings of the holy Ghost swaied with me and droue me to this consideration that though my tongue be one of the least members of my body yet if it were not rightly vsed I might offend the most by it I might much displease my husband and hurt my neighbours destroy my own body soule for euer all which ought to be more deare vnto me then all the treasures and pleasures in the world And on the other side if my tongue were rightly ordered I might much glorifie God beautifie his Gospell and adorne my Christian profession speake in the behalfe and for the credit of my husband and for the good of my neighbours and therefore I praied vnto God that hee would open the doore of my mouth and giue me vtterance wisedome that when I speake my words might be directed by his Spirit to put life and power into them and season them with wisedome and to make them forceable gracious and sauoury in the eares of the hearers So that to conclude alwaies after I would be carefull what and when to speake the manner how and to whom yeelding that reuerence to my husband that is due to him And I tell thee Xantip these things wrought so with him by the blessing of God that since I doe not remember that euer we haue had a crosse word Xant I promise you I like your spéech passing well Well now I wish in my heart that I and all other women in the world were of your minde we may see what it is to kéepe company with those that are wise and godly I thinke our neighbour Abigail did you more good then euer any woman did and I thank God you haue done me more good then euer any woman hitherto hath done Eul. I reioice greatly that God hath made me an instrument to doe you any good or any other And this I pray you neighbour if there bee any good done vnto you by me through Gods mercy shew the fruits thereof in a holy life For I may tell you be it spoken now to the glory of God there were few that euer thought you would haue bene reclaimed you were so lauish of your tongue and so fierce that you would haue scared one with your words Xant We may see the power of the Almighty who can make of the lyon a lambe and that a little child should play vpon the hole of the aspe and therefore I pray you pray vnto God for me yea and that also when you are met together with Abigail and the rest of your Christian friends that God would go on with his good worke which hée hath begun in me Eul. That is my duty And to forget you in my praier were to forget my selfe vnto God I pray you also take all the means that may helpe you forward renoūce whatsoeuer may hinder you You heard what holy and heauenly exercises Margeries good husband vsed vse you the same though shee neglected and loathed them In any case cashiere her company and the fellowship of such til you be strōger or she better for now she is a perillous woman her euill words and rotten speeches will corrupt good manners and quench your good motions her religious husband is much vexed with her euen as iust Lot was with the vncleane Sodomites And againe I am to aduise you not to be dismaied for those that will mocke you for your profession and because they see you begin to make conscience of your carriage who vse to say that we are a holy sister-hood and precise foolish women which prattle and chat wee know not what Beare them with patience and bee slow yet sure when you speake especially in the cause of Christ Xant Blessed bee God for this your loue and good counsell I hope I shall make vse of it as God shall enable me I pray you now shew me some particular directions how I and my husband may best liue together in mutuall loue Eul. First of all I say to you that many times loue is cleane lost betweene couples before they well know one the other the maine reason of it is because they obserue not one anothers qualities and apply themselues accordingly and another because they continue in strife when they are fallen out and do not betimes make vp the breach And the reason why they are backeward to make peace one with an other ariseth from the stoutnesse of their hearts which being proud and stiffe will not stoope one to another which breedeth heart-burnings betwixt them and inward grudging murmuring one at another and therefore these cursed seeds of dissentiō and discord being cast once into the heart by the Diuell will spring vp not only to roots but trees wil hardly or neuer be holpen if at the first they bee not speedily pluckt vp by the roots Now then marke the vse of this you are yet but a young woman and haue bene maried but a while and I see with griefe that there haue bene bitter iars betwixt you and now you for your part are desirous to haue peace and liue in amity with him that so you might passe your liues with mutual ioy What therefore is past let it bee forgotten and not onely forget but forgiue all vnkindnesse And if at any time your husband beginne either vpon some cause or no occasion to contend answere him mildly and with all modesty and meekenesse take heed that you put no fuel to the fire of his displeasure for if you doe it is a thousand to one but the flame will burne you both The tender twig is soone broken but if it grow vnto a tree it cannot be stird without an axe which must cut it down So likewise the nature of man is soone pacified with a soft and gentle answere but if it be asperate with bitter speeches nothing will asswage it till it haue had his course which is sometimes vnto the destruction both of man and wife except the mighty axe of Gods word come in the mouth of his Minister and cut it downe Therefore it behooues vs in the beginning to labour what wee
can to agree one with another and to strengthen our affections against euill dispositions and to holy actions Now the only way to compasse peace is that wiues be buxom and obedient to their husbands and to vse them kindly with gentle behauiour Now whereas some women stand vpon their pantofles that is either vpon their glistering beautie their proper personage great portion and rich parentage alas it is nothing to lessen their loyalty and submission to their husbands And that man that sets his loue vpon his wife for these outward things especially shall know that as beauty passeth his loue will passe with it and as riches wast his loue will languish and as her parents die so his loue will bee buried in obliuion with them Xantip Good gossip tell mee what way went you to worke to win your husband Eulal I told you a little before but to the end that you may the better remember it and follow me I wil tell you againe Xantip If I can I will doe my endeauour to the vttermost through the helpe of God Eul. I make no doubt but that God wil strengthen then you to any good worke if you call vpon him for his aide and take those meanes which hee hath appointed for the accomplishing of the same Xant Well I will Eul. First then this was my care when hee was pleased how I might keepe in with him and when hee was angrie how I might appease him And this was one maine thing that I would continually aime at to behaue my selfe humbly and meekly towards him both in word and deed also I would carry my selfe cheerfully toward him and I would looke vp and downe that there should bee nothing that might offend him I also obserued his disposition and inclination Moreouer I had respect vnto times and seasons that his diet should bee prouided in due time and that he should haue such delicates as were most comfortable for his heart and pleasant to his mouth and so by this meanes I won both him and his loue vnto me whereas before me thought he was as cruell as a Lyon and terrible as a Dragon Therefore I considered what those do that take in hand to tame Lyons and Elephants c. which cannot be mastered with strong hand therfore they that goe to the Elephant haue a speciall care that they bee not clad in white and they that goe to Buls that they be not araied in redde because it hath bene found by experience that those creatures by these colours are made wilder and fiercer and also Tigres by the sound of Timbrels by report are so enraged that they rend themselues in peeces So they that breake horses haue their tearmes their smackings whistlings and clappings whereby they make their stout nature tame Why then Xantip consider I pray you how much more seemely and necessary it it that we women should acquaint our selues with such courses whereby we may win our husbands to goodnesse by whom we should haue the greatest comfort and defence next vnder God Xant It is true say on I pray you say on Eulal Hauing obserued these things I applied me to his nature and I had great care that nothing should be done that might displease him nor nothing left vndone that might offend him Not onely of my selfe had I this care but of all that was in in the house and that not onely in great matters but also in the least Xantip But how would you apply your selfe to him that would neuer tarry within doores or come euery while drunken home Eul. Stay a while I will speake of that by and by First I will shew you forth my behauiour towards my husband because you desired to know it When he lookt at any time very sad there were no fit time to speak to him I would not thē laugh dally with him and play the tom-boy as many women are wont to doe in such a case but I put vpon me a sad countenance also and lookt heauily for euen as a looking glasse if it be a good one doth shew the countenance of him that glasses himselfe in it So it beseemes an honest wife to frame her selfe to her husbands affectiō and not to be merry when he is melancholy nor iocund when he is sad much lesse flire when hee is angry And if at any time he were stird I would either pacifie him with gentle speech or giue way to his wrath till it were somewhat alayed or else I would keepe silence til there were fit time for clearing my selfe or aduising him with reuerence and discretion This course also I tooke if at any time he came drunken home I would not then for any thing haue giuē him a foule word but I would cause his bed to be made very soft and easie that he might sleepe the better and by faire speeches get him to it Marg. Héere are fetters for the legs and yoakes for the neckes of women must they crouch on this manner to their currish and swinish husbands If I had such an one as he behaued himselfe like a swine so I would vse him like a beast Eulal I had thought we had bene ridde of your company Marg. I stood behind and heard you so long that I could no longer hold my peace Are you a woman and make them such dishclouts and slaues to their husbands Came you of a woman that you should giue thē no prerogatiue but make them altogether vnderlings Eul. I pray you be patient I haue spoke nor counselled any thing but what I haue done my selfe and I haue done nothing but that which is warranted by the word of God Marg. I hope the word of God doth shewmen their duties to wiues as well as the wiues toward their husbands Eul. It is so but first wee must shew the one before we can doe the other Marg. You should haue begun with the men first Eul. It might haply haue bene somewhat tedious and women mostly are so fickle and wil find themselues so many things to doe are so soone weary of hearing and reading any good thing that they would scarce stay to heare the beginning of their dutie therefore I thought best to begin with them first Marg. Trust me you are a small friend to your owne sexe Eul. More then you are to your owne selfe for you are ignorant and carelesse of that good which you might haue by your husband if you would be louing and submissiue to him Marg. Tell not mee of the good which I may haue by my submissiō for this is the truth of it I care not though he heard me I neuer meane to haue my necke brought vnder his girdle but I will rather make him buckle bend vnto me or else he shall haue an vnquet life Eul. It is true indeed that many such as you are wil haue their husbands bend and crouch vnto them But how seemly or warrantable this is let euery one iudge It is neither for the womans
winkt at it and kept in his displeasure On a day he willed his wife for recreations sake to walke with him into the country to her father Oh shee was in heauen when she heard of that went with al her heart with him to her fathers house Being come thither he left his wife talking with her mother sisters himselfe went into the fields a hunting with his father in law being there and no body by he told his father in law how he hoped that he had happened on a comfortable companion to haue past his life withall but now he perceiued that he had one alwaies puling and complaining and pittifully taking on and that hée could not helpe it with whatsoeuer he could say Therefore he prayed his father to play the Physition and to cure his daughters malady Her father made him this answere Son saith he once in the Church I deliuered my daughter to you if she will not be ruled by your counsell vse your authority Then the young man thus replied Father I know very wel what I may do by my place and authority but I had rather shee might bee brought into order by your skill and authority then to vse the extreme remedy of Stafford law Vpon that his father promised him to do whathe could to cure and physicke his daughters crooked and peruerse disposition Within a day or two therefore he pickt out a fit oportunity both of time place to deale alone with his daughter Calling her to him aside and composing his countenance in a graue and grim manner and solemne sort he beganne to shew her what a hard fauoured woman she was and of no louely qualities and how he was oft afraid least hee should neuer haue bestowed her in marriage and yet saith hee through the great care that I haue had for thee I haue procured thee such an husband as the most courteous and beautifull damsell that is could not desire a better To be briefe the fathers spéech grew so hot that hee could scarce hold his hands The young woman moued partly with feare and partly with the truth of that her father told her fell downe at his feet praying him to forgiue her and promising euer after to be mindfull of her dutie Her father forgaue her and said further that hee would shew himselfe a right father if she would doe as she promised Xant And what followed Eu. The young woman going from her father returned to her chamber finds her husband all alone fals vpon her knees cried O husband vnwise as I was I haue not hitherto knowne you nor my selfe hereafter you shall sée me become a new woman only good husband forgiue and forget my former disobedience This vnexpected humble spéech of his wife hée welcomed with a kisse and promised her all things if shée would still continue in this minde Xant Yea but did she so Eul. Yes to her dying day neither was there any seruice so base which shée would not willingly vndergoe at her husbands pleasure howsoeuer Margery it may be you would haue done it at your leasure And there grew euery day such great loue betwixt thē that within few yeares she would often in company reioyce blesse God that shee was matched with such a husband whom if shée had not maried she thought there should not haue bene a more miserable creature vnder the Sunne Marg. Such men as these are as rare as white crowes Xant Yet you haue such an one Eul. The greater shall her iudgment be except she repent for there are few women in the country I can tell you that haue such a religious husband who seeketh by all meanes her saluation Xant Haue you no mo such exāples Eul. Yes that I haue and one especiall one which I hope will please Margery it being much in the commēdation of a woman as the other was of a man Xant I pray you let vs heare it Eul. There was a neighbour of ours a very honest man but somewhat of a hastie nature and of a waspish tetchy disposition on a day he beate his wife a woman by common report of singular good carriage and excellent behauiour such an one as Abigail being very well beloued of all her neighbours Being beaten abused of her husband she betakes her selfe into her secret closet and there shee sits sighing and sobbing so easing her heart and disgesting her griefe Soone after vpon occasion her husband went into that roome and finding his wife wofully weeping saies to her Why sittest thou here fighing sobbing and crying like a child Shee then thus prudently and patiently answered Husband said shee is it not better to doe thus here to bewaile my griefe where no body heares nor sees then to runne and cry out in the streetes and to exclaime on you as others do on their husbands By this wise and gentle speech of his wife the stout heart of her husband was broken hee gaue her his right hand and promised that hee would neuer touch her againe in any euill manner neither did he Xant I haue brought my husband to that passe too but yet another way then she did Eul. But I thinke you cannot yet agree Xant Why what would you haue me to do Eul. O Xantip how oft haue I told thee how thou shouldst behaue thy selfe to thy husband I perceiue thou hast a bad memory or at least small list to learne sith so soone thou forgettest thy duty Wel once more I wil tel thee First you must put vp all iniury at his hands Marg. Yea so one might soone bée made a foole a foot-stoole I would rather do him two for one Eul. Hold you your tongue Margery I speake not to you but to Xantip Then Xantip you must labour to win his good will by doing all duties with chearefulnesse and louing kindnesse so shal you at last ouercome him or at least you shall haue him in a farre better temper then he is in at this present Xant Alas woman he is farre fiercer then he was before I feare me no gentlenesse will preuaile with him Eul. Feare not woman there is no wild beast so sauage but by gentle handling it may be tamed be not then hopelesse of a man do but put in practise vre my aduice for a few moneths and then blame me if you find not my counsell to doe you good There are some smal faults which you must winke at take heede that you giue no occasion of contention and thinke no scorne to be seruiceable in those things which become you There are some women that will be euer frumping or whining seldome or neuer vsing any amiable behauiour toward their husbands which is a signe that they haue not the loue of God shed abroad in their hearts For if they had it would cause them to loue their husbands vnspeakeably Xant Indéed gossip I must tell you plainly I cannot shew that loue to my husband that I should and some do to