God taketh away such obedient children before they be old yea before they come vnto mans estate whether it be lest malice should corrupt their hearts or to preuent some greater calamities wherein they might peraduenture be entangled or vpon whatsoeuer other considerations to receiue them into a better life he doth faithfully performe his promise vnto such children because he dealeth better then promise with them But as contrariwise this promise threatneth such children as will not honour their parents with short life so doth experience declare that many such children are of short and wretched life But if contrariwise such disobedient children do chance to liue long so farre is long life from being vnto them a blessing that on the contrarie it is an enforcement and increase of woe because they enlarge their iust condemnation so as they had bene better to haue died in their youth But howsoeuer it be God so disposeth thereof that by the effects we may perceiue that they which honour their parents are blessed and the others are accursed Eccles. 3. 2. c. And although some parents do not performe those duties towards their children enioyned them from the Lord yet such children as liue wickedly must know that they are not exempt and free from blame and guiltinesse before God For although they can say as the children in Ezekiels time said The fathers haue eaten sowre grapes and the childrens teeth are set on edge we say that although the occasion be offered of such vngodly and wicked parents yet the cause of destruction is still in the children themselues And besides that it is sure that the soule that hath sinned shall die the death Seeing there be some young men and maids who notwithstanding the great prophanenesse of the most the manifold corruptions offered abroad the vngodly examples abounding at home are so mightily preserued by the seed of grace that they escape safely in an holy course of life lamenting when they see the least occasion of euill reioycing at the least occasion of good things the rest who please themselues and hope to shelter their sinnes vnder their parents defaults are plainly left without excuse and are iuftly guilty of the bloud of their owne soules Labour therefore ye young men and maidens to wipe away the teares of griefe from your fathers eyes and stay the mournfull and sorrowfull spirits of your tender mothers and consider in your selues if ye haue any nature in you and haue not buried the vse of common reason what a shame it is to be a shame vnto your fathers to whom ye ought to be a glory thinke ye wanton wits that haue not cast off all naturall affections what a contempt it is to be a contempt vnto your mothers to whom you haue offered as it were a despitefull violence in that ye are a corrasiue to their griefe when as ye should haue bene a crowne to their comforts Learne therefore ye children that it is one speciall propertie of a liberall and ingenious nature to be carefull to liue that in time ye may be a glory to your fathers and a ioy to your mothers which the Lord for his Christs sake grant These precepts and admonitions before said are as a summary of the duties of children to their parents And therefore it resteth that they vnderstanding them do pray vnto God to giue them grace to put them in practise to his glory and their good and saluation Lastly let them remember that God is not more inclined to heare any prayers then such as parents de powre forth for their children As they are therefore to feare their curse for offending them so must they by honouring and pleasing them seeke to be blessed in their prayers which are blessings ratified vnto them in heauen as the blessing of Isaacke to his sonne Iacob doth manifestly declare Gen. 27. 28. 29. What duties Maisters and Mistresses owe to their seruants THis dutie teacheth them that they are become in stead of parents vnto their seruants which dutie consisteth in foure points 1. First that they refraine and keepe their seruants from idlenesse 2. Secondly that by diligent instruction and good example they bring vp their seruants and housholds in honestie and comely manners and in all vertue 3. Thirdly that they ought to instruct their apprentises and seruants in the knowledge of their occupations and trades euen as parents would teach their owne children without all guile fraud delaying or concealing 4. Lastly when correction is necessary that then they giue it them with such discretion pittie and desire of their amendment as louing parents vse to deale with their deare children remembring alwayes that they haue a maister in heauen before whom they must make an account for their doings These foure points are in effect poken of before in the dutie of parents For so much as maisters and housholders are to their seruants and apprentises in place of fathers they are hereby admonished that they ought not to with-hold and keepe 〈◊〉 their due wages to exact of them to oppresse them or to reward their well-doing and good deseruing slenderly but to be carefull of their seruants good estate as of their owne not onely in prouiding for them wholsome meate drink and lodging and otherwise to helpe them comfort them and relieue and cherish them as well in 〈◊〉 as in health liberally to reward their good deseruings as farre as Christianity liberality and equality shall binde them but also that they be carefull that they liue honestly vertuously and Christianly And further they may not grieue their seruants with too much labour but alwayes remember that they are not beasts but men so that they ought quietly to gouerne them and also quietly to chide them when they shall neglect their duty lest they be prouoked with their hard words remembring that they also haue a Lord and maister in heauen with whom there is no respect of persons Ephes. 6. 9. And let them bountifully reward the iust and faithfull labour of their seruants and pay their couenants in a fit and conuenient time lest being compelled by necessitie they should steale Maisters ought not as tyrants to vse their seruants as their horses and asses but to deale with them louingly Christianly because they are all members of one body whereof Christ Iesus is the head There be some maisters that vse their seruants and apprentises more like beasts then like men and their owne members for which their so doing let them assure themselues they must yeeld to God their maister a straight account Oh that Christian Maisters and Mistresses would learne and so practise the example of Iobs good and vpright dealing with his seruants which was farre from rigor For he saith If I did contemne the iudgement of my seruant and of my maide when they did contend with me that is when they thought themselues euill intreated by me what then shall I do when God standeth
A GODLY FORME OF HOVSHOLD GOVERNMENT FOR THE ORDERING OF PRIVATE FAMILIES according to the direction of Gods Word Wherunto is adioyned in a more particular manner the seuerall duties of the Husband towards his wife and the wiues dutie towards her Husband The Parents dutie towards their children and the childrens towards their parents The Maisters dutie towards his seruants and also the seruants duty towards their Maisters First gathered by R. C. and now newly perused amended and augmented by Iohn Dod and Robert Cleuer ISIDORE Thou profitest much when thou readest if thou practisest that which thou readest BERNARD What auaileth it thee to reade often in bookes the holy Name of our Sauiour except thou studie and endeuour to haue godlinesse in thy behauiour LONDON Printed by R. Field for Thomas Man and are to be sold by Arthur Iohnson neare the great North doore of Pauls Church 1621. TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFVL MAISTER ROBERT Burgaine of Roxall one of his Maiesties Iustices of peace in the County of Warwicke to the right worshipfull Maister Iohn Diue of Ridlington Parke in the Countie of Rutland and to the worshipfull Maister Edmund Temple of Temple hall in the Countse of Leicester Esquires as also to their religious and vertuous wiues R. C. wisheth with heart and minde grace from God the Father by Iesus Christ and constancy in the truth of the Gospell to the end and in the end Auing collected finished this Treatise ensuing and deuising very carefully with my selfe to whom I might Dedicate the same at length I resolued that none were meeter to vndertake the patronage therof then some such meete persons as did alreadie in some good measure practise within their seuerall charges the seuerall points and duties contained therein and so would further prosecute those other necessarie parts which they haue yet in some part pretermitted Wherupon calling to minde the holy exercises daily vsed and exercised in all your houses I was moued for two causes to make you all iointly Patrons thereof First for that I acknowledge my self beholden and indebted vnto you all diuersly since my first acquaintanoe with you and therefore left I should deserue the blame of vnthankfulnesse for benefits receiued I am bold vnder your Names to offer to the whole Church of God these my simple collections Secondly for that as you are all ioyned and linked in kindred by reason of marriage so also you are and haue bin a long time inseparably knit in a zealous and sincere profession of Gods word and Religion And for so much as I may not for many respects accomplish what good I willingly wold yet lest I should be thought to spend the remainder of my yeares in an idle condition or to hide my talent in a napkin I haue bene no lesse carefull then willing to labour other wayes to do what I may to glorifie God and profit his Church Neither will these my labours be vtterly vnprofitable if my purpose therein be rightly conferred with the purpose of my writings For such Housholders as pretend to be great Protestants and sound professors of the Gospell may long enough talke of Discipline and still complaine of the want of Church gouernment but all in vaine and to no purpose vnlesse they will begin this most necessary discipline in reforming their owne houses according to the direction in this Treatise and so suffer the holy religion of God to take place among their familie at home otherwise they shall trauell much and profite little For although there be neuer so good lawes in Cities neuer so pure order in Churches yet if maisters of families do not practise at home catechising in their houses and ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may in truth but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children and seruants are disordered and corrupted abroad when in truth they were disordered and are still corrupted and marred at home And therefore it cannot be neither is it to be hoped for that either the father of his children or the husband of his wife or the maister of his seruants should looke for that obedience that reuerence that faithfulnesse and that dutifulnes which they of right ought to haue and the other in conscience and of bounden duties are bound to performe vnlesse they do now at length endeuour to see these orders and duties hereafter mentioned to be practised within their seuerall housholds For if Parents and Housholders shall performe no further dutie to their children and seruants then to prouide for them meate drinke and apparell and to pay them their wages then Papists Atheists yea Turkes and infidels do yeeld this dutie as well as they And seeing all men be carefull that their horses and bullockes should haue sufficient fodder and prouender to the end they may haue their labour in lieu and recompence thereof it doth consequently follow that therefore a Christian housholder ought to haue ouer his children and seruants as much more Christian care then he hath ouer dumbe and insensible beasts that so he may receiue a singular comfort from the daily contēplation of their increase in spirituall graces Oh what a sweet and comfortable thing shall this be to the soule and conscience of such an Householder when he hath bene so diligent and carefull in the training and bringing vp of his children and seruants in the obedience and wayes of the Lord that he may rightly deserue to haue this worthy report and commendation giuen vnto him from the mouth and penne of the godly Namely that he hath a Church in his house that is a company of sound and faithfull Christians such as feare God indeed as the like report was giuen by the Apostle to those godly house-keepers Aquila and Priscilla his wife Rom. 16. 5. 1. Cor. 16. 19 as also to Philemon Phil. 2. Therefore all Parents and householders are in the Lord to be exhorted that they would be carefull to bring vp their children and familie so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God and heires of his Couenant or at the least they may be comforted in their owne consciences notwithstanding that their children and seruants for some cause vnknowne to them do refuse their counsell and instruction seeing they to the vttermost of their power and abilitie haue vsed all good meanes to bring them vp well and haue rightly offered them to the Lord. Now if parents and maisters haue iust cause to bewaile and lament when thus trauelling in good education information they cannot yet see good effects and godly fruites in their children and seruants how much more cause of griefe may they haue when they haue vsed bestowed no labor at all either by themselues or others for them to bring them vp in the nurture and feare of the Lord And yet alas many will be grieued for the one that will not be any thing moued for the other Wherefore let all parents and maisters of families know
and learne that if they will conuey Gods blessings to their posterities then they must do and performe the duties belonging thereunto Yea let them if they be loath to conuey Gods iudgements to their children carefully auoyd the meanes vnto it And surely as it is a blessed thing in the houre of death with Simeon to depart in peace leauing their wiues children and seruants members of Christ spouses to Christ children to God and seruants to the Lord so in extremitie of death no one thing will be more grieuous vnto parents and housholders then the Lord hauing giuen them the charge of so many soules to be furthered to saluation that 〈◊〉 owne tormented consciences shall presse them in as much as they haue helped their children and seruants forward to their damnation and so which is more fearefull they shall haue them spewing and foming on their faces continuall curses in hell then accusing them for euer to be the murtherers of their soules and cut-throats of their saluation Is it any maruell if housholders many times find small obedience lesse dutifulnesse and faithfulnesse at the hands of their children and seruants seeing they omit and leaue vndone the performance of these so Christian duties towards them herein expressed and enioyned of the Lord For so doth God often leaue manifest tokens of his wrath in punishing disobedience with disobedience How can any maister of a houshold whatsoeuer he be looke to haue his familie trustie and faithfull vnto him and yet he himselfe is faithlesse to God Doth he maruell that his children and seruants feare not him whereas he himselfe feareth not the Lord Will he maintaine his authoritie ouer those vnder his charge and he himselfe doth not yeeld obedience vnto the authoritie of God his Creator Moreouer it is manifest that the good man of the house by planting Gods religion in his familie shall not a little aduance and set forward his owne priuate profit and commoditie For wicked and vngodly seruants are for the most part loyterers pickers and deceitfull whereas on the other side godly seruants are iust and faithfull whom in his absence he may trust to do such businesse and worke as he willeth them to do If maisters of families be carefull and desirous as in conscience they ought that their wiues children and seruants should reforme themselues and endeuour to practise such duties as do appertaine and belong vnto them then they must likewise be diligent and carefull to reforme themselues both inwardly and outwardly in such points and duties as hitherto they haue left vndone otherwise they may iustly say vnto them Phisitian healc your selfe er why do you will vs to do that which you do not practise your selfe For as one candle cannot light another if it selfe be out euen so a maister of a houshold shall not reforme those of his charge and inflame them with the loue of God and godlinesse if he himselfe be voyde of the same Let euery maister of a houshold therefore say and performe with Ioshua I and my familie will serue the Lord Ios. 24. 15. And likewise let euery Christian Ladie Mistris and Dame say with Hester I and my maides will do the like Hest. 4. 16. And so no doubt God will powre his blessings on them and theirs in this life and euerlasting happinesse on them in the life to come Touching the Booke it selfe I will not say any thing to the commendation thereof but onely this That I am assured that if such duties as are mentioned therein were duly and carefully practised of all such as are named in it then no doubt vertue and godly religion would greatly flourish to the aduancement of Gods glory and also sinne and wickednesse would then decrease and fall downe to the vtter subuersion and ouerthrow of Sathans kingdome This Treatise I confesse is not garnished with eloquence nor full of great cunning nor beautified with flowers of mans wisedome neither yet doth it discourse or treate of high or darke things neither is it stuffed with subtill questions and arguments nor indited with Rhetoricall and eloquent stile as those commonly be which are propounded and set forth to the world rather for boasting and vaine-glory sake then for any desire to edifie and to do others good but it is plaine and without any great gaynesse yet so full of good necessary and wholesome instructions that whosoeuer readeth and marketh it with a right disposed minde and willing to practise it without respect to any other things then God the reformation of his life and the 〈◊〉 of his 〈◊〉 which is the onely worke which Christians must leuell at he may reape singular profit thereby And vndoubtedly it may well be said that vnto true Christians good and holy bookes are as ladders to climbe vp vnto heauen as sparkes to kindle the 〈◊〉 of the Spirit when it is quenched or waxen cold in them and as props to stay vp their faith that it may increase Praying therefore your Worships to accept of my dutifull good will and to pardon my boldnesse I ceasse to adde any further things beseeching God of his endlesse mercy for Christs sake to strengthen you still in that good and happie course of his word and all other good learning to furnish you all abundantly with all spirituall and heauenly knowledge to the carefull practising of the same in the fruits of your most holy and blessed callings to the aduancement of the glory of our God and to your owne euerlasting comfort in Christ Iesus So be it Your Worships in all Christian dutifulnesse most willing R. C. A GODLY FORME OF HOVSHOLD GOVERNMENT CAREFVLLY TO be practised of all Christian Housholders AN Houshold is as it were a little Commonwealth by the good gouernment whereof Gods glorie may be aduanced and the commonwealth which standeth of seuerall families benefited and all that liue in that familie receiue much comfort and commoditie But this gouernment of a Familie is not verie common in the world for it is not a thing that men can stumble on by chance By Wisedome saith Salomon is an house builded and with vnderstanding it is established and with knowledge shall the chambers thereof be filled with all precious and pleasant riches that is shall obtaine all kind of blessings See also Pro. 28. 2 by which two places it is manifest y such families as are not ordered by hap hazard or as it falles but by wisedome discretion and counsell do prosper in inward outward goods and endure long When we speake of wisedome we do not meane that this gouernment can be in all points exercised by naturall reason and wisedome for mans wisedome reacheth but vnto one point and that the least of that which family-gouernment tendeth vnto But the wisedome that we speake of is not naturall but fetched from the fountaine of all wisedome God himselfe who by his word giueth vnto vs pure light to walke by not in the Church
he will trust her and so open and disclose his loue and shew her greater signes and tokens of loue and beneuolence manifesting that to be borne and nourished through the experience of her vertue and through hope to be continued and kept that in time to come she may be like her selfe and striue to ouercome herselfe with vertue As the husband ought to loue his Wife tenderly so from her as from a fountaine he must extend his loue also vnto her parents and kinsfolkes to the end that they may well know and perceiue how greatly their cousin doth aide and helpe them and that she in like manner may vnderstand that his beneuolence and loue to her is such that it redoundeth among her friends and parents and of this he shall receiue no little profit at home And seeing he loueth his wiues kinsemen for her sake how much more ought he then to loue her children that she in like case may loue his if he haue any And thus the one seeing the mutuall loue of the other they shall knit and couple themselues in good and stedfast loue vnto their liues end The duties which are to be performed of the husband and the wife are either pertaining to pietie and godlinesse or else mutuall seuerall duties concerning the parties themselues 1. The first common dutie is prayer that they pray together by themselues For as they are to pray with others in their families for things which concerne their houshold so there are certaine things which belonging to themselues are not to be mentioned in their families but priuately as namely for a godly posterity and that in the birth the childrn be comely and not monstrous in comming forth like monsters which might be a griefe vnto them or an occasion that the wicked should speake euill of the Gospell c. And further they are to pray that they may haue comfort by them in their well-carriage and good behauiour as likewise for their houshold and diuers other affaires which they cannot so commodiously pray for in their publike familie As Isaack and Rebecca besides the prayers in their house which they vsed with Abrahams family did also pray together priuatly as Gen. 25. 21. it is said Isaack prayed before his wife for so the words signifie that they might haue children 2. A second dutie of pietie is that they admonish one another As the husband is to admonish the wife and also to teach her so the wife is to admonish the husband in her place admonishing bringing sufficient reason is to be heard For euen as the maister is to counsell the seruant and likewise to heare the good counsell of his seruant as Naaman 2. King 5. 13. 14. heard his seruant which counselled him to wash in Iordan according to the saying of the Prophet so in like manner the husbands duty is to counsell and to admonish his wife yet so as when he faileth in duty he is to heare her good counsell and admonition either concerning heauenly matters or earthly affaires she notwithstanding considering her estate and condition vnder him and in humility confessing her selfe to be the weaker vessell 1. Pet. 3. 7. Their mutuall and seuerall duties pertaining to themselues are First the holy familiarity which ought to be betwixt man and wife wherby they haue a more familiar vsage one of another and do more familiarly behaue themselues in a comely sort one to another then any other parties whatsoeuer in regard whereof Abimelech king of Gerar after that Isaack had said of Rebecca his wife She is my sister seeing Isaack playing and sporting with her familiarly knowing that familiarity which ought to be betweene the husband and the wife and knowing that Isaack was a godly religious man and therefore would not vse that kind of behauiour to any other woman saue to his wife discerned thereby and concluded certainely that she was his wife howsoeuer he had denied it before Noting that a woman is not to be familiar after that sort with any other man saue her husband and contrary that the husband ought not to vse this familiaritie with any other woman which he doth with his wife And therefore Pro. 5. 19. we see that the wife should be to him as the louing Hinde namely delightfull one in whom he may delight that as the Hart delighteth in the Hinde so the wife should be a delight vnto her husband and so in like manner she ought to take delight in him 2. Againe there is another mutuall dutie pertaining to themselues to wit that neare coniunction euen in regard of their bodies for an holy procreation of children in respect whereof the Apostle saith The husband hath not power ouer his owne body but the wife c. Onely when it is with the wife as is common to women Ezech. 18. 6. or that she be sicke of her disease he is not then to haue the vse of her body c. Such as do aspire and purpose to enter into the holy estate of matrimony are to beginne in prayer and holinesse to God And hauing attained to that estate ought to vse the benefit of marriage as an holy ordinance of God in all godlinesse and puritie for a remedie against the weakenesse of the flesh and not for the prouocation and lust to intemperancie True it is that honesty of marriage grounded vpon Gods ordinance doth couer the shame of incontinencie yet not so as that married folkes should defile and pollute that holy estate by admitting all things but that they should so vse it as there might be no excesse in dissolutenesse neither any intemperancie contrarie to the holinesse thereof So that to abuse it in lasciuious excesse is fornication When God created the woman he said It is not good that man should be alone I will make him a helpe meete for him but whatsoeuer is said of the woman that she should be an helpe to the man must also be put in practise and exercised by the husband to wards his wife according to the doctrine of the Apostle Saint Paul 1. Cor. 7. whether in auoiding fornication whether in procuring generation and the education and bringing vp of children whether in maintaining a family or for the seruice of God and saluation of soules Hereby it euidently appeareth that the dutie common both to the husband and wife importeth that the one should aide and helpe the other First that they may leade their lines in chastitie and holinesse Next to auoide fornication So that the dutie of the husband and the wife consisteth in this that they liue together in all chastitie and purenesse and that they take great heed and beware of breaking the bond and infringing and violating the saith of marriage by fornication or adulterie which is a detestable sinne in the sight both of God and man If such as wanting the remedy of marriage by committing fornication do incurre an offence worthy euerlasting damnation what may those deserue who hauing
with benigne sweete and gentle conuersation vntill it be so increased and fastened that no great storme be able to dissolue and breake it And all suspition must be at all times but especially at the beginning of matrimony eschewed and shunned lest they should first begin to hate or euer they begin to loue yea and they must beware they do not faine any suspition nor conceiue it of any light occasions and coniectures for vnto such they in no wise must giue eare although there were some shew and great apparence of likelyhood And this will be a good meanes to effect and worke this namely if they 〈◊〉 themselues to speake kindly and cheerefully one to the other For as the ancient Counsellors of King Salomon gaue wise aduise and counsell vnto Rehoboam King ofIsraell to the end that he might winne the loue and good liking of the people Speake kindly vnto them said they and they will serue thee for euer after which counsell not being followed great inconuenience and mischiefe after befell vnto him Euen so likewise if the husband be 〈◊〉 to procure the loue ofhis wife and to winne her to God or if the wife be desirous and would also procure the loue of her husband and winne him to God then they must draw on one another with sweet and gentle words ofloue speaking kindly one to another because gentle words do pacifie anger as water quencheth fire But if they shall vse taunts or words of reproach and despite one against another much hurt then may ensue thereof For a little leauen sowreth the whole lumpe And therefore let them vse to giue one to the other their dutifull names and titles and to eschue and shunne the contrary For example like as the spitefull Iewes which hated the Lord Iesus would not vouchsafe to giue him his name when they talked of him or with him but to shew their vtter dislike of him they vsed to say Is this he or Art thou he that will do such a thing Is not this he c. Againe Whither will he go that we shall not finde him they would not say Is not this Iesus Christ or the Sonne of God but they vsed a most despitefull kind of speaking which did bewray abundance of malice that was hidden in their hearts euen so it sometimes falleth out betwixt the husband and the wife betwixt the father and the sonne betwixt the maister and the seruant c. that they could speake dutifully one to another but contempt and disdaine anger and malice will not suffer the one to affoord vnto the other their due names and titles lest they should be put in minde of those duties which those names require Whereout Sathan sucketh no small aduantage whereas many times the very name of husband or wife father or sonne maister or seruant c. doth greatly helpe to perswade the minde and to winne the affection yea the very mentioning of these names doth oftentimes leaue a print of duty behind in the conscience Husbands must not forget this point namely that it is not sufficient for them to declare and outwardly make a shew of a good life in words and precepts onely but also in life and deed So that two things are very necessary for them to rule withall to wit wisedome and example and that they themselues fulfill the thing that they command to be done The life and outward conuersation of a man whether it be good or euill doth not onely perswade but also constraine and enforce We do see how mighty and auaileable this or the like exhortation of a Captaine is in the time of warre and battell Oh my souldiers do that ye shall see me do the which contempt of death in the Captaine doth so creepe through the whole host that there is not one be he neuer so feeble and weake-hearted that doth esteeme his life for the which he perceiueth that his Captaine careth so little Thus did Christ with his Apostles and Martyrs draw the world vnto the Christian faith Leuit. 11. 44. and 19. 2. and 20. 7. and 21. 8. Ioh. 13. 15. Phil. 3. 17. 1. Tim. 1. 16. 2. Thessal 3. 9. For as they liued so they spake and as they spake so they liued Therefore if the husband would haue his wife to be temperate quiet chast painfull in her calling religious c. then he must be carefull that he be not distemperate vnquiet no whoremonger nor carelesse in his calling nor irreligious c. So that if he command any thing to be done he must looke that he deny not to do the same himselfe and so shall his wife and family obey the same and be the more readie and willing to do it being both honest and lawfull to be done The very name of a wife is like the Angell which stayed Abrahams hand when the stroke was comming If Dauid because he could not expresse the commoditie and comfort of vnitie and brotherly loue was faine to say Oh how good and ioyfull a thing it is for brethren to dwell together in vnitie Then let husbands weigh and consider how harsh and bitter a thing it is for them and their wiues to dwell together in enmitie and strife For the first yeare after marriage God would not haue the husband go to warre with his enemies to the end that he and his wife might learne to know one anothers conditions and qualities and so afterwards liue in godly peace not warre one with another and therefore God gaue a law and appointed that the new married husband that yeare should stay at home and settle his loue that he might not warre and iarre after for the God of peace dwelleth not in the house of warre As a kingdome cannot stand if it be diuided so an house cannot stand if it be diuided for strife is like a fire which leaues nothing but dust smoke and ashes behind it We reade in the Scriptures of maisters that strooke their seruants but neuer of any that strooke his wife but rebuked her Lot was drunk when he lay with his daughters in stead of a wife and so is he which striketh his wife in stead of his seruants The law sheweth how a bondman should be corrected the wife is like a Iudge which is ioyned in commission with her husband to correct other Wilt thou strike one in his owne house no more shouldst thou strike thy wife in her house She is come to thee as to a Sanctuary to defend her from hurt and canst thou hurt her thy selfe Therefore Abraham said to Lot Are we not brethren that is May brethren iarre But they may say are we not one can one chide with himselfe can one fight with himselfe He is a bad host that welcomes his guest with stripes Doth a King trample on his crowne Salomon calleth the wife The crowne of her husband Therefore he which woundeth her woundeth his owne honour She is a free Citizen in thine house
housholders when they go about to hire any seruants would be no lesse carefull and inquisitiue of their honestie godly conuersation and how they haue profited in the knowledge of God his religion then they be to enquire and know what they can do and what skill and cunning they haue in that Art or Science which they prosesse or else what qualities they haue and so doing no doubt they being carefull to hire religious and godly seruants to do their worke and businesses that which such seruants shall take in hand the Lord will much better prosper giue good successe vnto then otherwise if they shall hire and entertaine irreligious and prophaue seruants as may plainly appeare by the examples of Iacob and Ioseph two religious and faithfull seruants whose maisters and their substance were blessed increased and multiplied for their sakes As house-holders ought to haue care ouer the bodies of their seruants so much more ouer their soules One compareth the maister of the house to the Seraphin which came and kindled the Prophets zeale so he should go from wife to seruants and from seruants to children kindle them in zeale of God longing to teach and vtter knowledge as a nurse to empty her breasts It is lamentable to thinke how carelesse all maisters for the most part are on this behalfe not onely such as are prophane and ignorant themselues but also some that would be counted great professors and would seeme to haue great knowledge yea and with griefe may it be spoken some Preachers also who hauing had seruants dwelling with them 3. or 4. yeares or more as they were ignorant in the grounds and principles of Christian religion whē they came first into their seruice so they went from them as ignorant therein as they came and all for want of catechising being a principall duty which not onely Ministers but also all Christian maisters in conscience are bound to performe to their families But of this matter I haue sufficiently intreated in my last Edition of the vse and necessitie of catechising and therefore I will of purpose here omit to speake of it Another saith that a maister in his familie hath all the offices of Christ for he must rule and teach and pray rule like a king and teach like a Prophet and pray like a Priest To shew how a godly man should behaue himselfe in his houshold when the holy Ghost speaketh of the conuersion of any house-keeper commonly he saith That the man beleeued and all his houshold As Peter being conuerted must conuert his brethren so the maister being a protestant and a good Christian must endeuour by all good meanes that his seruants may be such For therefore God said that he would not hide his counsell from Abraham because he would teach his familie And surely all duty of seruants which is not done of conscience is but eye seruice and faileth at most need as Ziba betraied his maister when he should haue defended him Therefore before Onesimus was conuerted Paul said he was an vnprofitable seruant but when he was conuerted he called him more then a seruant because such a seruant is better then many seruants Though Laban was wicked himselfe yet he reioyced that Iacob his seruant was godly because God blessed him the better for him Ioshuah saith I and my houshold will serue the Lord Shewing that maisters should receiue none into their houses but whom they can gouerne as Ioshua did and if any such haue crept into their doores they must put him forth againe for Dauid saith I will not suffer a lyer to stay within my house He saith not a swearer nor a theefe but a lyer as if he should say I will rid him out of doores before he be a swearer and a theefe for a lyer will grow to a swearer and a theefe as a dicer groweth to a begger in a night Therefore it is noted of Cornelius that he himselfe feared God with all his houshold These examples be written for house-holders as others are for Magistrates and Ministers and souldiers that no calling might seeke further then the Scriptures for instruction Wherefore as you are maisters now and they your seruants instruct them and teach them as if you would shew what maisters your seruants should be hereafter Next vnto seruants labours and instruction must be considered their corrections As Paul saith Fathers prouoke not your children to wrath so we may say Maisters and mistresses prouoke not your seruants to wrath that is vse such reproofes and such corrections that you do not prouoke them but moue them that you do not exasperate them but win them for reuiling and reprochfull words and immoderate fiercenesse doth much more hurt then good And therefore the Law of God did charge the Magistrate that he should not cause aboue forty stripes to be inflicted vpon any offender lest he should seeme despised in his eyes much lesse then may a maister exceed that number to his seruant For while a child or scholler or seruant doth thinke that he is reproued for loue or beaten with reason it makes him thinke of his fault and is ashamed but when he seeth that he is rebuked with curses and beaten with staues as though he were hated like a dogge his heart is hardned against the man that correcteth him and the fault for the which he is corrected and after he becommeth desperate like an horse which turneth vpon the striker and therefore let maisters know that God euen then chides them whensoeuer they fight or chide in such rage For though there be a fault yet something must be dissembled and winked at and some things must be forgiuen and some punished with a looke for he which takes the forfeit of euery offence shall neuer be in any rest but vexe himselfe more them his seruant But aboue all we thinke that the charitie and tender affection of maisters and loue of seruants to their fellowes in their sicknesse is especially to be vsed and shewed at which time the sicke are to be seuerally lodged from the whole and to be cherished and nourished with more choise and daintie meate For the performance and care of this dutie the Centurion is commended in the Gospell which dutie very vnchristianly is neglected of many maisters The maister of the house should not disdaine or shew himselfe so scornfull or vnkind as not to visite his sicke seruants For if bruite beasts reioyce to see their maisters cherish and feede them as we may daily see in dogges c. how much more may we beleeue that men and reasonable creatures are much delighted and comforted therewith Whereupon it comes to passe that good and faithful seruants liking and affecting their maisters vnderstand them at a becke and obey them at a winke of the eye or bent of the brow not as a water-spaniel but as the hand is stirred to obey the mind so prompt and readie is
the dutifull seruant to obey his louing and kind maister For as the hand is said to be the instrument of instruments being it indeed that serues to feed apparell and keepe cleane the rest of the limmes and parts of the bodie which are also called instruments so is the seruant said to be an instrument of instruments because he keepeth all the instruments of houshold occupied not onely to liue but to liue well wherein he differeth from all other instruments For where they are things without soule he is diuinely enriched with a soule and herein he differeth from the hand for that the hand is fastened and vnited to the bodie but he is separate and disioyned from his maister and he is also different from Artificers for Artificers are instruments of those things which properly they call workmanship but the seruant is an instrument of the action which also is distinguished from workmanship So that the seruant if you will rightly vnderstand him is aliuely and seuerall instrument of action It is very meete and conuenient that the mistrisse or dame do not make her selfe too familiar with her seruants or houshold-folkes lest they should be too bold to talke to ieast or vnreuerently and vnmannerlie to behaue themselues towards her and so modestly and wisely to beare her self among her seruants that they may feare reuerence and so stand in awe of her as the mistresse and mother of the house And as it is not comely or beseeming that the wife should take vpon her to rule and correct the men-seruants so likewise it is not comely or meete that the husband should meddle with the punishing or chastising of the maide-seruants so that it is most meete and acceptable to the offender that the maister should correct the men and the mistris her maides for a mans nature scorneth and disdaineth to be beaten of a woman and a maids nature is corrupted with the stripes of a man Therefore we reade that Abraham would not meddle with his maid but committed her to his wife and said Do with her as it pleaseth thee As if he should say It belongeth not to me but to thee Andthese are the duties which maisters must performe in their life time All which must be shut vp with setting order for all things at their death with especiall exhortations and prayers for religion for vprightnesse in their callings for peace and order after them according to the example of Hezekiah Dauid of Iacob and of Ioseph Esay 38. 1. and Gen. 47. 29. 30. and 40. 29. So that it is the dutie of Christian maisters to haue a care not onely that their families be well and Christianly gouerned while they liue but also that after their death loue peace quietnesse and good order may be continued in their posteritie The Seruants dutie towards their Maisters THis dutie confisteth in three points 1. First that seruants and apprentises do frō their hearts cheerefully and willingly performe the labours and workes that their maisters mistresses or dames shall command them 2. Secondly that they be faithfull in things committed to them by their maisters mistresses or dames that so they may keepe their goods 3. Thirdly that they be carefull to obserue vprightnesse of manners that the wife sonnes and daughters or other fellow seruants be not corrupted by their bad counsels or lewd behauiour These points are plainely proued by these places of Scripture quoted in the margine whereby seruants are straightly charged reuerently and faithfully to obey their bodily maisters mistresses and dames in all things which may be done without offence to God And this obedience and seruice must be done with feare and trembling in singlenesse of heart as vnto Christ they being 〈◊〉 with a reuerence to Godward as though they serued God himselfe and that as well in the absence of their maisters mistresses or dames as in their presence not constrainedly as it were forced or compelled thereto but heartily and with good will as they that serue the Lord and not men not onely in respect of the earthly reward but because they know and are assured that of the Lord they shall receiue the reward of inheritance in as much as they serue the Lord Christ. So that hereby all godly seruants may in few words learne what dutie they owe to their maisters mistresses and dames namely to loue them and to be affectioned towards them as a dutifull child is to his 〈◊〉 to be reuerent and lowly to them in their words and gestures to suffer and forbeare them to obey with readie and willing mindes all their lawfull and reasonable commandements to feare them and to be loth to displease them to be faithfull and trustie to them and theirs in deedes and promises to be diligent and seruiceable to speake cheerefully to answer discreetly not ouer boldly to dallie with their maisters wife daughters or maidens to be loyall and dutifull to their maisters mistresses and dames as Iacob was towards Laban and Ioseph towards Potiphar And they must carefully endeuour to do and procure to the vttermost of their abilitie that which may be to their maisters mistresses and dames honestie credit and profit and that as well when they are absent and out of sight as when they be present and looke on This is a qualitie and propertie belonging to euery good seruant both men and maides to wit that whatsoeuer goods or necessaries of their maisters mistresses or dames they shall haue charge of as committed to their trust and keeping they carefully see such things so well and orderly placed and laid vp that if there shall be at any time any iust occasion to vse any necessary in their custodie yea if it be in the night season and that without a light they then not onely can say in such a place it lyeth but also if they be required they can presently fetch the same Seruants must take heede that they do not 〈◊〉 and willingly anger or displease their maisters mistresses or dames which if they do then they ought incontinent and forthwith to reconcile themselues vnto them and to aske them forgiuenesse They must also forbeare them and suffer their angrie and hastie words and in no wise answer againe spitefully or scornefully neither yet vpon any such occasion run away For the Angell taught and willed Hagar the seruant of Sarah when she fled from her mistresse that she should returne and humble her selfe vnder the hands of her mistresse So did Saint Paul make agreement betwixt Onesimus a vagabond and theeuish seruant and sent him againe to his maister Philemon from whom he was fled away and it is probable that he admonished Onesimus to submit himselfe to his maister Seruants apprentices therfore according to the rule of Gods word must patiently beare and forbeare their maisters mistresses and dames do whatsoeuer lawfull thing they shall command them not being against a good conscience And therefore they must remember how
farre foorth they are bound to obey their maisters that is Vsque ad aras so farre as Christian religion suffereth and so far forth as they may do it with an vpright conscience for otherwise if their maisters shall command them to do any thing that is vnhonest vnlawful wicked vniust or vngodly then they must in no wise obey it 1. Sam. 20. 28. c. and 22. 17. Dan. 3. 18. Act. 4. 19. and 5. 29. The conditions of a good maid-seruant are that she be carefull faithfull patient neat and pleasing that she be 〈◊〉 quicke and handsome and of few words honest in her word deed and attire diligent in an houshold and haue skill in washing 〈◊〉 brewing sowing and spinning but chiefly in holding her peace Seruants must lay apart all euill conditions as pride vnfaithfulnesse brawling murmuring lying swearing and filthie communication picking stealing and tales telling If seruants would carefully marke and learne and so diligently practise these three short lessons following so doing no doubt they might both procure and purchase much quietnesse to themselues and also winne and get the great good will and liking of their maisters mistresses and dames thereby First that they would cheerfully go when they are bidden Secondly that they would come willingly and readily when they be called And lastly that they would remember to shut and sparre the doores after them The neglect and omitting of this last dutie may haply be thought no great matter but if such as be housekeepers will carefully obserue it they shall finde that they sustaine both lesse and hinderance by it And because it sometime hapneth that one seruant is too much charged with labour and worke and another of his fellowes hath more ease then worke one therefore should helpe another as we see by vse in our owne bodies when one leg is weary we can rest it on the other or when the right hand is ouerlaboured we can ease it with the left and when entercourse of loue and curtesie intreates and perswades not this fauour and kindnesse amongst them then should the maister himselfe command the negligent and loytering seruant to helpe and ease the weary and him that is well imployed and ouer-charged Againe seruants are to be admonished and put in mind that they do not as some do without all conscience make spoile and hauock of their maisters goods wittingly and willingly neither yet that they suffer any of those things that they are put in trust with through their heedlesnesse and retchlesse to be marred and lost but specially that they do not make spoile and wast of such broken meate as remaineth after their meales or at other times which doing is not onely an hinderance to their maisters profit but also a great offence to God who commandeth that such broken meate as remaineth be gathered vp and saued that so nothing be lost loh. 6. 12. Therefore to conclude let seruants apprentises both men and maids assure themselues that as they deale and behaue thēselues to their maisters mistresses or dames and their goods whilest they are seruants so likewise the Lord in iustice will cause their seruants to deale and behaue themselues to them when they shall come to be maisters or dames themselues so punishing sinne with sinne And as religious and godly maisters be very warie and circumspect when they hire and entertaine any seruants into their seruice that they be such as be godly honest and religious or at least such as will be tractable and obedient to such good order and godly gouernment as is or shall be vsed exercised daily in their houses but contrariwise such maisters as be prophane and irreligious haue no care or regard whom they hire or receiue into their houses so they will fit serue their turne for gaine and profit though they be neuer so Iewd vicious or vngodly in word or deed so likewise such as are Christian and religious seruants ought also to be very warie and carefull that they do not place themselues with any such maisters as are prophane and wicked or in such townes and parishes where there wants good meanes and exercises both of preaching and catechising whereby they may daily profit and go forward in that good course which they haue begun whereas on the other side such seruants as are without God irreligious and ignorant of the meanes of their saluation care not where or with whom they dwell nay they will not with their good wils come to dwell either in that towne or with those maisters where they shall be restrained and kept from swearing dicing carding tabling prophaning of the Lords day and other such wickednesse who in thus doing do flie from God and seeke and follow after their owne destruction FINIS Luke 2. 29. Gen. 30. 30. and 39. 5. c. Luke 4. 23. 22. 32. Rom. 2. 21. The profit of this booke Good books 〈◊〉 to climbe vp to heauen The rule of good gouernment is wisedome Pro. 24. 3. 4 Not carnall wisedome But learned out of the word Gen. 5. 24. Psal. 119. 3. Wisedome is great wealth Without wisedome whatsoeuer a man taketh in hand turneth to his owne hurt It is out of doubt that the wise and skilfull gouernmēt of a house is found out by Prudence defended by Science and conserued by Experience Whereof a familie cōsisteth The first sort are such as haue authority in the familie Who must vse their authoritie If the gouernour be charged with weighty affaires he may appoint one to gouerne his house as Abraham and Potiphar did Gen. 24. 2. and Gen. 39. 4. A property of good gouernment 1. Tim. 3. 7. The marks that families gouernment aimeth 〈◊〉 Gen. 12. 7. 8. 13. 18. 11. 33. 1. 22. 9. Iob. 1. 7. Iosua 24. 25. Prou. 31. 26. c. Acts. 10. 16. 14. 15. Ephes. 6. 4. 1. Ioh 3. 24. 12. 13. Mat. 6. 24. Hag. 1. 6. Psal 127. 1. The sorts of gouernours Housholders or housekeepers are persons authorised ower their housholds and charge The dutie of the Husband touching holinesse which he must performe to them 1 To see that they haue the Word ordinarily the 〈◊〉 whereof is the greatest plague that can be Amo 8. 11. Esa. 32. 1. 2. 3. 4. Ro. 10. 14. Iam. 1. 28. 19. 21. 1. Pet. 2. 2. Heb. 2. 1. Ephe. 4. 11. 12. Iam. 2. 11. All superiours ought to be carefull that their inseriors do keepe holy that day as well as themselues Deut. 5. 15. They ought not to leaue it to their discretion as a thing indifferent but to compell them thereto Deut 11. 10. So haue the Seruants of God done in times past in their seuer all families Iosh. 24. 15. Acts. 10. 1. Gen. 18. 10. But in our time it is for the most part wholy neglected Especialy in great households where there are many seruants 2. Sam. 23. 15. 16. Obiection Answer The gouernors of families should take order that their whole houshold
in them vnto God that vpon this day which is but one among seuen his seruice should be so slenderly looked vnto that there is no such diligence vsed towards their seruants that they might performe it And how must it not needes be a great iniurie to their seruants who are naturally and for the most part more negligent and carelesse in Gods seruice by reason of their corruption then they can be in the seruice of men to be depriued of that benefite of their gouernours which is the chiefest and for which cause especially they are committed to their gouernement namely to be furthered by them in the seruice of God but vse them more like beasts then men euen that they might be seruiceable vnto them then care not whether they serue God or the diuell We know that seruants looke to be preferred by their maisters and so there is good reason when they haue serued them faithfully but what kind of reward is this when hauing bestowed some earthly benefite vpon them by hauing no care to make them serue the Lord and sanctifie the Sabbaths they do in the end not onely make them lose the euerlasting reward but preserue them to eternall destruction Moreouer there are a companie of idle Seruing-men who in spending their time all the sixe dayes hauing almost nothing therein to do are seldome looked vnto vpon the seuenth day but permitted to bestow it as vainly as the other and as they neuer almost do any good dayes worke to their maisters so much lesse do they spend any Sabbath in the Lords seruice but they especially are left to go and come at their will Others that haue any office of great charge and attendance as the Cookes Butlers and such like in great houses seldome or neuer come to the Church and that but by peeces either when halfe is done or else they are readie to depart before halfe be ended so both hinder the Lord from that seruice which he should haue by them themselues from that blessing which they should idherit that way and both cause the name of God to be ill spoken of and pull vpon themselues their masters that curse which belongeth to the continuall polluting of the Sabbath And how can they looke that that seruice and that meate and drinke should do them good which is thus prepared and bought as it were with the continuall danger of the soules of their seruants besides the dishouour of the name of God When Dauid had inconsideratly desired to drinke of the water of Bethleem three mightie men brake into the host of the Philistins and drew water and brought it to him but he would not drinke thereof but powred it for an offering vnto the Lord and said Oh Lord be it farre from me that I should do thus is not this the bloud of the men that went in ieopardie of their liues How much lesse then ought men to eate and drinke of that for which their seruants do venter the liues of their soules And besides if we iustly find fault with them who do neuer or seldome preach to the people committed to their charge and so cause their soules to starue and die eternally how can they be blamelesse who seldome or neuer bring their seruants to the preaching of the word And must they not needs be culpable of the same iudgement before God seeing it is all one with the seruants whether they liue in the place where the word of God is not preached at all or if it be yet they come not vnto it But whereas men are ready to obiect that in a great family many must needs be absent We grant it to be true in some part that is at some time vpon some occasion but so ordinarily and so continually as they themselues in their own cōsciences are priuie to who make this question we know no necessitie that can excuse that Nay we are sure that the Lord hath laid no such calling vpon any man that should keepe him in a continuall breach of the Sabbath and therefore both maister and seruant may suspect that he is in such a calling as is not agreeable to Gods word or that he vseth it not aright when it maketh him if not wholy yet for the most part to neglect the seruice of God vpon the Sabbath day And we know where there is great care to serue and please God by prayer the Lord will giue to them such wisedome that they shall be able to redeeme if not the whole yet at least a great part of the day which otherwise will be mis-spent namely by letting passe many needlesse things by preparing so much before as conueniently may be by rising so much the more earlie in the morning and by the interchangeable helpe of our seruants especially when they will for these causes be contented with so much the lesse though not in quantitie for the reliefe of others yet with lesse exquisite and curious dressing which especially taketh vp the time and so we are sure and they that will trie it in the feare of God and with a care to serue him and in a loue to the soules of their brethren shall find it to be true by experience that many might keep holy the Sabbarh which now do it not at all others might keepe it more then they do Which if yet it be thought vnpossible because we go not about to practise it let vs but obserue that which we shall see done in the house when the seruant is very desirous to go to a Faire and the maister is as willing to let him go you would wonder to see how things shall be dispatched vp suddenly and in good order they shal be absent many houres and yet not greatly missed if any thing be otherwise then is vsuall it is horne with because it is a day of prouision for themselues and that day is not euery day So then if the maisters were perswaded of the Lords day as they ought to be euen that it is the time of making prouision for the soule and were as carefull for the soules of their seruants as they are for their bodies and did esteeme it more for their worship credit that their seruants were religious then that they were costly well set out in apparel they would be better contented to spare them during the time of that market where they may buy without money all the graces of Gods Spirit and the riches of the kingdome of heauen whereby they should not onely saue their owne soules but be made more fit to do duties to their maisters of conscience Therefore to end this point it is the duty of all houshold gouernours to cause the whole familie to be in a readinesse to attend vpon them too and fro the Church and that it be not left at euery mans discretion to come when he wil but that they should go together And indeed this hath bene the orderly comming of
Gods people in times past to the place of his worship that they haue not come scattered and alone but many together and by companies whereof the holy Prophet speaketh When I remembred these things I powred out my very heart because I had gone with the multitude and led them into the house of God with the voice of singing and praises as a multitude that keepeth a feast In which place the man of God complaining that he was banished from the holy Assemblies saith that his griefe was increased by remembring his former estate when he vsed to go with a great companie to the Temple euen as to a feast whereby he declareth what was the manner of their going euen as men go to a market or to a feast not onely with ioy but also by companies and so many of one house as go will go together So they did not onely go to the house of God cheerefully but many of them together euen as to the market and feast of their soules By which practise of theirs as the doing of many is condemned so it appeareth that the men of our time are led by another spirit then they were and are otherwise perswaded of the worship and place they go vnto For all the people nay the seuerall housholds come not together but scattered and one dropping after another in a confused manner First comes the man then a quarter of an houre after his wife and after her we cannot tel how long especially the maid-seruants who must needs be as long after her as the men-seruants are after him Whereby it commeth to passe that either half the seruice of God is done before all be met or else if the Minister tarry till there be a sufficient congregation the first commers may be weary and sometimes cold with tarrying before the other shal be warme in their seates Now if it be demanded of the maisters why they alone make such hast and leaue all the rest behind them they answer truly because the time is come wherin vsually publike prayer beginneth can they be perswaded that it is time for themselues to come as it is indeed and yet no time for the rest to come with them Hath the maister no longer time to tarry and haue his seruants time to tarry so long after him As though there were one law for him and another for them or rather that the same law of the Sabbath which moueth him of conscience to do that which he doth did not as forciblie bind them all as himselfe nay did not binde him to looke to them that they should keep holy the day as well as himself which if he graunt to be true yet is not able to bring it to passe where the Lord hath giuen him so great authoritie for his owne sake partly through the frowardnesse of his wife and partly through the obstinacy of the rest in his familie his case is to be pittied and he is rather to be gouerned then to gouerne and he might do well to set vp one of them in his stead seeing he doth suffer himselfe wilfully so to be abused and is contented to be ouer-ruled by them in the chiefest thing Therefore that he might bring this matter happily to passe as he must go before them by his owne example and be readie betimes euen first of all so he must earnestly call vpon them for this dutie and exhort them vnto it and the slower that they are and the more they draw backe the more fotward must he be and by his practise and words draw them forwards also For this is that readinesse which Dauid obserued in the people of his time I reioyced when they said vnto me we will go into the house of the Lord or Let vs go to the house of the Loŕd for they are words of exhorting and incouraging one another thereunto euen as the Prophet Esay also foretelleth that this shall be the zeale of Gods people in the time of the Gospell that they shall go together to serue God and therefore call vpon one another for the same purpose saying It shall be in the last dayes that the mountaine of the house of the Lord shall be prepared in the top of the mountaines and shall be exalted ' aboue the hils and all nations shall flow vnto it and many people shall go and say Come and let vs go vp to the mountaine of the Lord to the house of the God of Iacob And truely this want of zeale in vs to Gods worship and loue to the saluation of our brethren bewraying it selfe in the neglect of this duty of calling one vpon another is the cause of this slownesse For the husband going first out of the doores saith to the wife Make hast and come assoone as you can she comming at her leisure giues the same charge to her seruants Dispatch and tarry not long behind but here is no saying Come let vs go Let vs go together and if it be once said it is not pursued that it might be performed In going to market and to a feast what earnest calling will there be vpon one another and it would seeme strange to behold the houshold go diuided and it were a thing that would much be marked and euery one that knew vs and whither we were going it should be the first question they would ask vs How chanceth this that you come alone Where is your husband your wife or your children Why come you not together So no doubt the dispersed and broken comming of housholdes to the Church is a thing greatly obserued of the Lord God and of his Angels which are present at their assemblies and it is that which grieueth the rest of the Church and as soon as they see one come in alone they are ready with grief to ask Where are the rest What meaneth this partie to come alone Therefore let all Gouernours be perswaded that it is their bounden dutie thus to looke to their families and to be sure that they sanctifie the Lords day as well as themselues and that they not onely thus bring them to the publike ministerie but also looke vnto them that they spend the rest of the day in holy exercises so much as may be examining them in that which they haue heard and causing them to conferre about it themselues and to appoint some to reade the Scripture vnto them and all of them to sing Psalmes and generally whatsoeuer they haue seene before that they ought to do themselues to call vpon their seruants for the same and to take such order that they be sure they do it and let them be sory that they haue neglected this duty so long heretofore thereby haue charged so many sinnes of their houshold vpon themselues and now at the last in Gods holy feare let them begin to put this in practise lest they do further prouoke the most patient Lord to their endlesse destruction And though it be a thing
to consider Gods ordinance his promise and their owne necessity c. by commanding them to lay aside all such cares thoughts and affections as might hinder them from a diligent hearing To the Sacraments they must prepare them by willing them to consider of Gods institution the ministerie of his Sacraments his mercie in Iesus Christ their faith their repentance and their wants that so seeking assurance of grace of reconciliation and comfort they may come preparedly to the Lords table Againe to further their profit they must diligently examine them what they haue learned what vse they can make of such doctrine also helpe and direct them wherein they faile Thus did our Sauiour Christ his Disciples Besides they must call vpon them for the practise of that which they learne out of the word that the word grow not to a common matter of no further vse but to talke of vpon the Sabbath day The fourth speciall dutie that belongeth to instruction is the vse of Gods workes either past or present as of examples of his mercie and goodnes to be encouraged by them to trust in him by workes of his iustice to be moued to feare him and so to sow the seed of conscience and religion in them Thus did Abraham Gen. 18. 19. which care of his moued the Lord to reueale to him his purpose of destroying the Sodomites The duties which they are to require of them concerning godlines be to vse the publike ministery carefully to be diligent and reuerent in the priuate worship of God to submit themselues to priuate instruction of all sorts and to make their vse of it to the building vp of themselues in faith And 〈◊〉 to practise all holy and Christian duties which being comprised briefly in the Commandements are more largely layed open by the publike ministery of the word and by priuate Catechizing But after what maner must they require these duties We answer not onely by telling of them what they must do and calling vpon them for the doing of it and by gentle admonition when they be backward but also by correcting them if they shall be negligent and contemptuous in the practice thereof This correcting is either by Rebuking or Chastising them according to the quality of the fault the condition of the partie that is so to be dealt with A rebuke is a pronouncing of some misbehauiour or knowne wickednesse of any with condemning of the same by the word of God whereby they may haue shame that others might feare Correction is a sharpe thing and therefore not easily borne of our nature which is full of selfe-loue and through the corruption of nature it is turned into an occasion of great frowardnesse sturdinesse and naughtinesse where it is not wisely dealt in Now the better to minister correction with more hope of doing good by it we must consider First the end of correcting Secondly the matters for which correction must be giuen Thirdly the manner of correcting 1. The end in correcting must not be to wreck and reuenge thine anger or malice or to reuenge thy selfe for any iniury done nor yet alonely the preuenting of the like hurt by the like fault afterward but in zeale of Gods glory who is dishonored by the lewdnesse of the offender and in loue to the party thou must seeke by wise correction to reclaime him from such euill as bringeth danger to him to make him more carefull of his duty afterwards Herein they faile who in correcting haue no respect but to their owne commodity 2. For the matters that deserue correction this is a rule that there must be no rebuking much lesse chastising but where there is a fault For where any is vniustly corrected besides the iniury it hurteth him by hardning him against iust correction For he will thinke that it is the rash hastinesse of his gouernor that putteth him to smart and not his owne desert By fault I meane not onely the committing of that which was forbidden but also the omitting of that good which was commanded But euery such fault is not to be censured with correction sometime ignorance mistaking ouersight and a desire to please in one thing maketh inferiors to offend in others Except there be contempt or willing negligence or retchlesse ouersight a gentle admonition may serue And indeed superiours must take heed of comming to the greatest remedies of correction too soone for so they may soone marre the partie by ouer-sharpe dealing which by a wise proceeding by degrees might haue bene gained Furthermore Gouernors must know yet more expresly for what to correct Some neuer correct but for their owne matters neuer regarding the faults committed against God But the godly gouernour that aimeth at Gods glory and seeketh the Lord and not himselfe is most grieued for those disorders in his family that tend to Gods dishonour and such he correcteth most carefully And as for the defaults of his family that are against himselfe he looketh more to Gods dishonour by them then to his owne hurt or losse in zeale of God is drawne to correct and not of selfe-loue He therefore counteth these things worthie of correction if any delight in the ignorance of God or be carelesse to approue himselfe as one that wholly dependeth on him loueth him feareth him reuerenceth him laboureth to approue all his wayes before him if any be giuen to idolatrie and superstitiō careth not in euery part of the worship of God to follow his reuealed will or if in the parts commanded he appeare negligent cold or put them to any other vse then is commanded or be giuen to images or superstitious monuments customes occasions or such like if any dishonour the name of God either in the vnreuerent vsing or abusing or 〈◊〉 and not vsing it with that preparatiō before feeling at the present time and fruit after which is prescribed his titles word Sacraments or works if any prophane his Sabbath by vaine pastimes and gaming as cards dice dancing c. going to playes or giue not himselfe to the exercises appointed for that day out of the Word if any neglect speciall duties towards their equals superiours or inferiours in yeares gifts authority as Magistrates Ministers Maisters parents seruants children or people if any declare not a conscience to fly euill anger malice contention quarelling fighting or any hurting of the person of man either in soule or 〈◊〉 being carefull to succour the same according to his calling if any be found vnchast in bodie words countenance or gesture vntemperate in diet in apparell dissolute not caring to maintaine the contrary holinesse in himselfe and others if any be not carefull to preserue the goods of another man or shall by falshood flattery and oppression diminish the same if he be negligent in increasing of his owne by honest and lawfull meanes or mis-spend them in cards dice gaming c if any care not to maintaine the good names of others but be giuen to
alwaies be open to speake ill to misconster thy actions and to blaze abroad thy infirmities and scapes He that would haue no enemies must make himselfe none by vniust vnkind or vnneighbourly dealing but he must rather by couttecusnesse of speech helpfulnesse and good neighbourhood win the loue and liking of men yet a man may be too wise in this point Many being Ioth to incurre any mans displeasure will not seeke to vphold right and equitie they will not speake for the poore nor stand out to maintaine Gods cause when he is dishonored by open sin as swearing lying rayling and such like Many to keepe in with all vse all companies alike for auoiding a mans company breedeth a grudge But the good will of men is neuer to be purchased with forsaking of duty Such things as may iustly be ill taken auoyde for peace sake Whereof the Wiseman noteh some as medling in others mens matters He that medleth with a strife that belongeth not to him is as he that taketh a dog by the cares that is casteth himselfe into dangers 2. Be not hasty to go to Law no not in a right cause but agree at home For besides that a man doth seldome scape without great losse in which respect it is also to be auoided as an enemy to thrift thy neighbour is openly put to reproach he becometh thy mortall enemy and will alwayes watch to do thee hurt 3. Sometime to seeke recompence of a wrong breedeth greater malice in the authour of the wrong aud maketh him double it as a man spurreth his horse for kicking when he was spurred Say not I will recompence euill but wait vpon the Lord and he will saue thee 4. Ost haunting of another mans house may bring thee into mislike wherfore the Wiseman saith Withdraw thy foote from thy neighbours house lest he be wearie of thee and hate thee If by carefull auoiding of all iust occasions thou canst not auoide ill will as the world loueth none but her owne neuer seeke to win fauour by departing from duty but commit thy self to God and turne thy mind to make vse of thine enemy Let enmitie which is alwayes prying and seeking occasions to hurt by word or deed make thee to walke not more closely but more vprightly and then mayest thou defie thine enemy For be that walketh vprightly walketh boldly Another enemy to thrift which is also a breaker of peace and good will among men is much borrowing He that is to borrow doth spend much time and le ts slip many occasions of doing his businesse in the due season he must repay in better measure then he borrowed or else ill words or ill will will follow If it be a matter of any value which is borrowed then as Salomon saith The borrower is seruant to the lender that is beholding to him and in his danger The thriftiest men loue least to be beholding to others and therefore seldome seeke and often refuse euen when they be offered to receiue benefits at others mens hands He that goes a borrowing goes a sorrowing and euery deniall he receiues where he thinkes he should speed is the seed of grudge in the minde of the denyer of him who is denied But of all borrowing to borrow vp on vsury is the dearest buying and the rankest poyson to thrift When Dauid would wish a sore plague to his enemy he prayeth that he may be giuen into the vsurers hand Let the vsurer eate him vp If the vsurer be a deuourer woe be to them that come in his hands To auoide borrowing a good husband must cut off all vnnecessary expences that he may haue all necessaries in his house To auoide borrowing of money take heed of suretiship of dealing in bargaines which you are not fully able to compasse of dealing with many things and hauing too many irons in the fire at once Looke how you may compasse matters before you enterprise them Prouide long before against any day of payment and haue not money to seeke vpon the sudden for that driues a man to borrowing yea to vsury or to sell Robbin Hoods peny-worths Besides he must keepe none in his house idle or halfe set to worke none more then needes must Let euery one haue his charge that will throughly occupy him Also looke that they do their taskes euery one in his place and haue an often eye vnto them whether they haue done as they should do The maisters eye maketh a fat horse so also the mistris eye maketh a friendly dairy Except you haue rare seruants such as truly feare God and haue good consciences trust them not further then you see them except necessitie driue you Hitherto of the duties that be belonging to the chiefe ruler os the familie that is the husband touching honest prouision for it Now seeing that God hath ioyned the wife to her husband as an helper she must help him in the prouision for her family so much as lieth in her power and is meete for to do And indeed her industrie and wisedome may do much herein that though her husband should be much wanting in his dutie yet she might hold in the goale Thus many haue done and so Salomon saith the wise woman will do A wise woman buildeth her house But it is not euery womans case because that all are not wise as she that Salomon speaketh of This wise woman is els-where called a gracious woman Prou. 11. 16. And a vertuous woman Prou. 12. 4. because many graces and vertues meete together in her For she is To her husband dutifull faithfull and louing Towards those of her familie wise and prudent In her businesse diligent painfull Towards her neighbour modest humble kinde and quiet First if she be not subiect to her husband to let him rule all the hous-hold especially outward affaires if she will make against him and seeke to haue her owne wayes there will be doing and vndoing Things will go backward the house will come to ruine for God will not blesse where his ordinance is not obeyed This is allowable that she may in modest sort shew her mind and a wise husband will not disdaine to heare her aduice and follow it also if it be good But when her way is not liked of though it be the best way she may not thereupon set all at sixe and seuen with what should I labour and trauaile I see my husband taketh such wayes that he will bring all to nothing This were nothing else but when she seeeth the house falling to helpe to pull it downe faster Salomon saith The wise-woman buildeth her house much more then doth she vnderprop it and hold it vp that by her husbands vndiscreet dealing it be not pulled downe She must not thinke her selfe freed from dutie because he walketh not in his dutie but hold her place and labour for her part to vphold all and so God will either blesse the workes of her hands
the parents and parties are to be charged in the name of God as they will answer at the day of iudgement plainly to bewray and declare if they know any of the foresaid impediments in themselues or in their children for which this Contract ought not to be made If they say they know none or if they declare none then the consent of the parents is to be demanded which if they yeeld then the consent of the parties is also to be required And so the parties are to be betrothed and affianced in these words or such like 1. N. do willingly promise to marrie thee N. if God will and I liue whensoeuer our parents shall thinke good and meete till such time I take thee for my onely betrothed wife and thereto plight thee my troth In the name of the Father the Sonne and the holy Ghost So be it The same is to be done by the woman the name onely changed and all in the presence of parents kinsfolks and friends After this the parents are to be admonished to set and appoint the day of marriage neither too neare nor too farre off but to appoint a competent space of time that it may be sufficient for the learning and triall of all lets and impediments whereby promised marriage might be hindred and yet giue no occasion by reason of the length thereof to prouoke the parties to incontinency In the meane time the parties affianced are to be admonished to abstaine from the vse of marriage and to behaue themselues wisely chastly louingly and soberly till the day appointed do come And so with a Psalme and prayer to cóclude the holy action Now that there should be a competent space betweene the time of the Contract and the day of marriage it is very necessary for these causes 1. That there might be some preparation for the things pertaining to house-keeping betweene that time and the celebrating of marriage but this is not a chiefe cause 2. Because the Lord would by this meanes make a difference betwixt brute beasts men and betwixt the prophane and his children for they euen as beasts do after a beastlike manner being led by a naturall 〈◊〉 and motion come together but God will haue this difference whereby his children should 〈◊〉 seuered from that brutish manner in that they should haue a certaine distance of time betweene the knitting of affection and enioying one of another and a more neere ioyning of one vnto another 3. That they should in that time thinke on the causes why they are to marrie and the duties of marriage For many enter thereinto not considering at all of the great duties belonging to them in the same nor thinking of the troubles and afflictions that follow marriage But the Lord would haue these things thought on and a consideration to be had both of the causes of marriage and the duties to be performed and the troubles to be vndergone A good and carefull housholder so ordereth and frameth his houshold as it may manifestly appeare that it is indeed the house of a faithfull Christian and that he himselfe is a Pastor ouer his family that he instructeth it diligently in the feare of God and keepeth it in good and godly discipline by continuall exercise of godlinesse So that in his house you shall find the chast wife the shamefaced plaine and modest wife decked without as she is within no painted nor marked thing rendring true obedience to her husband and hauing a carefull eye vpon her family seruants and children the maister father and husband the children and seruants euery one likewise in his degree employing himselfe sincerely in his dutie and office approuing his doings as before God Now like as in the mind there are such vertues as we haue before spoken of so are 〈◊〉 in it also noysome wicked vices and detractions as vngodlinesse despising of Gods word vnbeliefe idolatrie superstition ignorance churlishnesse lying falshood hypocrisie vnrighteousnesse swearing backbiting distemperance drunkennesse gluttony couetousnesse vnchastitie vnshame fastnesse misnourture rashnesse furiousnesse wantonnesse pride presumption vain-glory childing brawling and vnhandsomnesse Who so now chooseth him a wife or the a husband that is infected and tangled with such noysome vices he seeketh not a spouse 〈◊〉 she a husband for a right peaceable good honest and Christian life but an hell a painefulnesse and destruction of all expedient quiet and vertuous liuing but specially there is little good to be hoped for of him or her whereas vngodlinesse and contempt of the word remaineth For like as the feare of God draweth the whole garland of vertues with it so vngodlinesse and despising of Gods word bring all vice and abhominations yea and shutteth vp the way to amendment When these points and rules are duly and warily obserued on either part they may ioyne together and say as Laban and Bethuel said This cometh of the Lord therefore we will not speake against it Oh how happie are those in whom faith loue and godlinesse are married together before they marrie themselues For none of these carnall cloudie and whining marriages can say that godlinesse was inuited and bidden to the bridall and therefore the blessings which are promised to godlinesse do flie from them After the riches of the mind do the riches of the bodie follow next of which sort is a comely beautifull or well-fauoured body health a conuenient age c. A beautifull bodie is such a one as is of right forme and shape meete and of strength to beare children and gouerne an house euen such a one as both the man and woman can find in their hearts vnfainedly to loue aboue all other and to be content withall c. As concerning the beautie or comlinesse of the body where there is else no good property or qualitie beside Salomon saith Prou. 31. 30. Fauour is deceitfull and beautie is vanitie but the woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised And Prou. 11. 22. As a iewell of gold in a swines snout so is a faire woman which lacketh discretion or is of vncomely behauiour and hath not wit nor gouernment to behaue her selfe For beautie is a fraile gift and a slippery and more profitable to those that behold it then to those that haue it The beautifull woman can take no great pleasure in beautie but a little as it were in a glasse and yet incontinently she forgetteth that she beheld and saw and yet it is many times both to her selfe and to them that behold her beautie a prouocation to much euill She that is faire waxeth proud of it and he that doth behold her becometh subiect vnto filthy loue But in the mind which is iudged to be the man consist the true lineaments and properties of fairenesse which entice and prouoke spirituall and heauenly loue being mixt with nothing that is shamefull either to be done or spoken And therefore there is no man so farre without wit that had not rather haue her which
The husbands dutie is to loue their wiues as themselues of which loue the loue of Christ towards his Church is a liuely patterne And because many husbands pretend the infirmities of their wiues to excuse their owne hardnesse and crueltie the Apostle willeth them to marke what manner of Church it was when Christ ioyned it to himselfe and he doth not onely not loath all her filth and vncleannesse but ceasseth not to wipe the same a way with his cleannesse vntill he haue wholly purged it and made it holy And seeing that euery man loueth himselfe euen of nature Therefore saith the Apostle the husband shall striue against nature if he loue not his wife which he proueth first by the mysticall knitting of Christ and the Church together and then by the ordinance of God who saith that the husband and wife are one that is not to be diuided The husband is alwayes to remember that he be not fierce rigorous hastie nor disordered with his wife for then there will neuer be vnitie and concord betwixt them If the wife do not learne to keepe silence and the husband to haue patience it shall rather be the dwelling of fooles then the house of friends For where the husband wanteth wisedome to gonerne and the wife patience to suffer they shall be forced it is to be feared in continuance of time to part house or else euery day to be iarring and brawling Euery married man ought also to remember this that either his wife is wise and religious or else she is foolish and irreligious If he be matched with a wife that is sottish foolish and ignorant of God and his word it will little auaile or profit him to reprehend or chide her and if he be married to one that is wise and religious and knoweth her dutie out of Gods word then one sharpe and discret word is sufficient because if a woman be not corrected by that which is wisely and discretly said she will neuer amend by that which is threatned When the wise shall be inflamed with ire wrath malice or enuie the husband ought to suffer her and after the heate is somewhat cooled and the flame quenched then mildly to admonish her for if she once begin to lose her shamefastnesse in the presence of her husband then it is likely that there wil often follow brawlings and quarrels betwixt them And as the husband ought at all times to shun brawlings and quarrellings with his wife so much more he ought to auoid the same when they shall be newly married For if at the beginning she shall haue cause to abhorre and hate him then late or neuer will she returne to loue him faithfully Therefore at the beginning of their marriage the wise and discret husband ought to vse all good meanes to winne the good liking of his wife towards him for if then their loue be fixed and truely setled one towards the other although afterwards they come to some houshold words and grudgings yet it proceedeth but of some new vnkindnesse and not of old rooted hatred and therefore the sooner remedied For loue and hatred be mortall enemies and the first of them that taketh place in the heart there it remaineth a dweller for the most part all the dayes of life in such wise that the first loue may depart from the person but yet it will neuer be forgotten at the heart But if the wife from the beginning of marriage do take the heart to loath and abhorre her husband then a miserable life wil follow to them both For although the husband shall haue power to force his wife to feare and obey him yet he shall neuer haue strength to force her to loue him Some husbands do boast themselues to be serued feared and obeyed in their houses because the wife that abhorreth doth feare and serue her husband but she that indeed liketh doth loue him and cherish him As the wife ought with great care to endeauour and by all good meanes to labour to be in fauour and grace with her husband so likewise the husband ought to feare to be in disgrace and disliking with his wife for if she do once determine to fixe and settle her eyes and liking vpon another then many inconueniences will ensue and follow The husband ought not to be satisfied with the vse of his wiues body but in that he hath also the possession of her will and affections for it sufficeth not that they be married but that they be well married and liue Christianly together and be very well contented And therefore the husband that is not beloued of his wife holdeth his goods in danger his house in suspition his credite in ballance and also sometimes his life in perill because it is 〈◊〉 to beleeue that she desireth not long life vnto her husband with whom she passeth a time so tedious and irksome And if any vnkindnesse or displeafure should happen to be at any time betwixt the husband and the wife yet neither of them ought to impart or to make it knowne vnto any one of their neighbours for if they be such as wish them euill they will reioyce at it and if they be such as wish them well then they minister matter whereof to talke That husband that is matched and doth encounter with a wife that is a dizzard a foole a babbler light ofbehauiour a glutton a chider slothfull a gadder abroad vntractable iealous or dissolute c it were better for him to be a slaue to some honest man then a husband to such a wife The best rule that a man may hold and practise with his wife to guard and gouerne her is to admonish her often and to giue her good instructions to reprehend her seldome neuer to lay violent hands on her but if she be good and dutifull to fauour her to the end she may continue so and if she be shrewish and way ward mildly to suffer her to the end that she waxe not worse But some husbands be of so sowre a nature and so vnpleasant in their behauiour that they can hardly be loued no not of their wiues their countenance is so lowring their company so currish that they seeme angry euen when they are best pleased they cannot speake faire scarce will they laugh when their wiues laugh vpon them a man would say they were borne in an angrie houre This is also a dutie not to be forgotten namely that 〈◊〉 be diligent and carefull to make prouision for their houses to cloath their wiues decently to bring vp their children vertuously and to pay their seruants duely because that in voluntary matters men may be negligent but the necessities of the house do neither suffer negligence nor forgetfulnesse The duty of the husband is to get goods and of the wife to gather them together and saue them The duty of the husband is to trauell abroad to seeke liuing and the wiues dutie is to keepe the
euen in their life time to see them go to hell for want of instruction Some charge their children to be dull witted and hard to be bowed or brought to any goodnesse or vertue Albeit naturall inclination be a great helpe to profiting yet exercise and custome to do well is a mightie meanes to bend and sharpe them that way yea euen such that by experience we find this old Prouerbe true Vse ouer cometh nature as the wheelewright doth by strength bow his timber and letting it lie long in that bent it bideth crooked Barren ground well tilled soyled and sowen with good seed groweth fruitfull and yeeldeth good increase iron weareth with handling the water by continuall dropping weareth the stone wilde beasts may be tamed and wilde colts by custome are brought to the saddle and are content to be led by the bridle euen so the dullest capacities may by instruction and custome be fashioned to vertue As contrariwise the wiz most inclined by nature to vertue may by bad instruction and the conuersation of the wicked be peruerted and grow vicious Parents therefore are herein to respect two points first to begin to frame and bend their children in their tender youth to vertue remēbring that a seale entreth deepest into softest waxe They must be carefull that they do not speake or tell any foolish tales baudie rimes or vngodly speeches before their children lest they infect their tender wits with follie and astonishment Experience sheweth that children will sooner learne any language by conuersation then elder folkes Also that the yonger the twig is the sooner it is bent or made straight Secondly it is the parents dutie to restraine their children from haunting and conuersing with such as be vicious peruerse and wicked And vndoubtedly we see that they do soone learne villanous and vnseemely speeches and malicious lewd actions with their corruptions and as the old Prouerbe saith halting with the lame they shall learne to halt A child that naturally speaketh wel by conuersing with such as corrupt their speech shall degenerate and speake as badly Tye a yong twig that is crooked with a straight one that is stronger then it and in growing it will become straight and so continue when it is vndone And contrariwise a straight one tyed to that which is crooked and stronger then it selfe will grow and continue crooked Moreouer parents when they meane to put forth their children to any trade or occupation or to learning then they ought carefully to see and enquire whether such as they thinke to place them withall be religious and vertuous and endued with the feare of God In the admittance of a seruant the feare of some temporall or carnall inconuenience causeth men to enquire of his or her truth honestie or other qualities Therefore if parents shall commit their child to the ordering and instruction of a maister before they make enquirie of his honestie and Christian conuersation they plainely shew that they haue lesse care of the corrupting or infecting of their child with vice then of some small inconuenience that might happen by an vnhonest and vnthriftie seruant When men buy an earthen pot they sound vpon it to see whether it be broken lest they should be deceiued in a small peece of monie yet do they not sound whether the maister to whom they commit their child be vicious or vertuous albeit by putting and placing him with one that is vicious and irreligious they put him in danger of losse both of body and soule Some do respect their friendship with some maisters rather then their vertue and so do commit to them their children lest they should be angrie for putting them to another These men do resemble and be like him who being dangerously sicke vseth the aduise of an ignorant Physition that is his kinsman or familiar friend for feare he should take offence if he should call another albeit without comparison more learned and skilfull If thou shouldest liaue any weightie matter in law wouldest thou rather commit thy cause to an ignorant and negligent atturney because he is thy friend then to him that were both diligent and learned Making a voyage through some dangerous sea wouldest thou in a tempest commit thy ship to a young Pilot vnskilfull or drunke because he is thy friend What a foole art thou that wilt not take the like care of the profit honour safetie and saluation of thy childe Others commit their children either to him that will take them at the easiest rate or by whom they may grow into greatest aduancement in the world but neuer respect the hazard of their child so they may either spare or get worldly goods Let them also be carefull to restraine their children from vice and to inure and accustome them to vertue and indeed the fathers that instruct or cause their children to be instructed do far excell such as onely do beget them for of these they 〈◊〉 life onely of the other good and vertuous life Yet parents ought not so much to relie and rest vpon the diligence of their childrens maisters as neuer to care to vnderstand how they profit and go forward in learning and vertue for the regard of such diligence would make the maisters more carefully to discharge their duties And thereof came the Prouerbe The maisters eye fatteth the horse and this The maisters eye is the fruitfulnesse of the garden Vpon these sinnes ensue many punishments both ghostly and bodily as well in the parents as in the children yea and in all the posteritie The holy Scripture giueth great commendation to sundry men and women for their godly education and vertuous bringing vp of their children as to Abraham for he commanded his sonnes and his houshold to keepe the way of the Lord. So Dauid counselled his sonne 〈◊〉 to serue God with a perfect heart and a willing mind It is said also of Cornelius that he feared God and all his houshold Likewise of Eunice the mother of Timothie that she nourished vp her sonne in the words of faith and good doctrine For where a vertuous and godly childhood goeth before there a godly and vertuous age followeth after Contrariwise when the parents are not carefull to teach their children to know God and to know themselues when they do not breed them vp in vertue nor reproue them when they do amisse they then become corrupt in their vnderstanding and abhominable in their doing ignorant and voide of all knowledge and grace and of reuerence or feeling of nature If parents be desirous to haue their children vertuous and honest indeed as in conscience they ought then they must be diligent and carefull to practise godlinesse honesty themselues For we see by experience according to the common Prouerbe As the old cocke croweth the yong learneth such a father such a sonne such a mother such a daughter For like as when the head is well and sound and also the stomacke pure from hurtfull humours
child is naturall and kindly no otherwise then the warme milke from the mothers dug you shall sooner be heard of your children then either the sage counsell of the ancient or the forcible and mouing speech of the learned Lastly the rule of iustice doth require that euen as the first parent Adam and so all other after him haue bene a meane of falling to their posteritie in the begetting of children in their owne image which according to the law of creation should haue bene borne Gods Image so now in lieu of this all parents should lend their hands to lift them vp againe neuer ceasse vntil they see in some measure the beauty of the first Image and the vertue of the second Adam This is confirmed by many testimonies of Scripture as amongst other these do prooue Deut. 4. 9. and 11. 18. 19. Ephes. 6. 4. Psal. 78. 5. And because this duty of parents is many times committed to Schoolemaisters to Maisters of families to Dames to Patrons and Guardians and such like they must therefore vnderstand whosoeuer they be that they are bound by the voyce of the Almighty to performe and to do the dutie of parents to all such as are committed to their charge as if they were their owne children Now the vices which some parents commit in not performing these duties before and after named and ought of them to be eschued are these First the ignorance of the parents as if they be so rude that they be not able to teach their children then they greatly offend God in the breach of this so necessary a duty and therefore they must indcuour to get so much nurture and knowledge as that they may be able to instruct others vnder them The second vice is the prophanenesse of many parents who so they may prouide liuelyhood and necessaries for their children they care for no more The third vice is committed of such poore parents which make no great choise with what Maisters and Dames they place their children so they may haue meate and drinke enough and wages thereto competent and are neither back-beaten nor belly-beaten as they say Alas such poore children while they serue for their bellies they may lose their soules because they want godly maisters and dames to giue them wholesome instruction to hold them in by good example and to gouerne them continually in the feare of the Lord. Wherefore here let all parents learne that it is their dutie to make choise of such maisters and dames for their children as are godly and religious wise hearted such as are both able and well disposed to traine vp youth in all good nurture and Gods seruice and not onely this for the greatest care of all lieth vpon the parents but also they must so often as conueniently they may repaire vnto them and see how they profit and hold them vp by their good counsell and be carefull to intreate those which haue the gouernment of them to be good vnto them in this chiefe point aboue the rest For as Salomon saith Life and death is in the power of the tongue so we may well say life and death is in the education of our children If they be well brought vp it shall be life vnto them but if it be otherwise they are trained vp to euerlasting death 4. The fourth vice is the fault of many maisters and dames who make no further reckoning of their seruants then they do of their bruit beasts For so long as their worke and businesse be well done by them they care for no more and they will teach them no further then may serue for their owne turne and benefit that is to be a profitable seruant vnto them Such maisters make their seruants drudges to the world and the diuell and the life of such youth dieth while it shooteth vp All these sin and trespasse against the will and word of God because they are contrary to good nurture and godly instruction Parents must be very carefull that their children may learne some occupation or profession of life and this is either mechanical which we call handicraft or liberall which is the learning of schooles and the end of this is either to get their liuing honestly and in Gods ordinance or else if they want no maintenance to apply their profession and trade to the benefit of the Common-wealth No childe of what birth or stocke soeuer he be ought to want this instruction and bringing vp If thou say my childe hath no neede of any trade yet the Common-wealth and Gods Church hath need of him for no man is borne for himselfe but his friends will require one part his kindred another and his countrie the third And if handicrafts like thee not thou hast the liberall Sciences of which no man euer was yet ashamed but many haue made them their crowne of glorie Saul was annointed King while he was seeking his fathers Asses and Dauid was taken from the sheepefold to feede with his wisedome and gouerne with prudence that honourable people the children of Israel And againe we reade that those two famous Prophets Elisha and Amos the one was called from the plough and the other from keeping of beasts which examples do plainly teach vs that the great and reuerent God despiseth no honest trade of life be it neuer so meane but crowneth it with his blessing to draw all good minds to his holy ordinance But now adayes such is the pride of our hearts a thing to be lamented through all our land that many gentlemens children may not be brought vp in any trade Oh it is too base and beggarly for them they must liue of their lands they must maintaine their gentrie a small learning will serue their turne but in the meane while this ordinance of God is neglected what misery from hence ensueth Who are the wasters of patrimonies Who are the robbers and rouers in the Common-wealth Who are the deflowrers of maidens Who are the defilers of 〈◊〉 Who are the corrupters of youth and to speake in one word who are the seedes-men of all mischiefe in our country but these children of Gentlemen who haue not bene taught and trained vp in learning or some occupation while they were young For euen as a weed if it grow in a ranke soyle will waxe out of measure noysome so these children coming of honourable and worshipfull parents brought vp in ease and pampered with the delights of gentrie they waxe immeasurably vicious and who may keepe them vnder neither lawes nor Magistrates not any other good meane First parents must teach their children to vse faire speech not onely towards themselues but also towards others and to call their betters by a reuerent and honourable name 1. Sam. 25. 24. Marke 10. 17. Prou. 16. 24. Secondly to speake modestly and humbly of themselues this point of good manners they may learne of that wise matron Abigail in 1. Sam. 25. 41. where we reade that
when she was sent for of Dauid to be his wife she first bowed her selfe to the seruants and then made this lowly answer to him that brought the message Behold let thine handmaid be seruant to wash the feete of the seruants of my Lord. Thirdly to admonish them louingly to salute their friends and acquaintance and generally all others whom they take to be Christians and brethren which consisteth in praying well to others wishing health prosperitie vnto them Luke 1. 28. 40. 1. King 1. 17. Fourthly to put them in mind to acknowledge a benefit where they haue receiued it with giuing of thanks Fiftly to teach them to confesse an offence where it is committed with humble crauing of pardon An example hereof they may haue in that vertuous and faire spoken matron Abigail as they may reade in 1. Sam. 25. 23. c. Oh that men and children saw what great dangers they draw vpon them by the neglect of this duty and might preuent it and also what gratious blessings they might procure both to themselues and others by meanes of it as this vertuous Abigail kept Dauid from shedding of innocent blood saued her owne life with the liues of her familie and in the end was receiued to be a Princes wife for the wise carriage of her selfe in this matter Againe parents must teach their children good manners and ciuill behauiour to rise vp to their betters to vncouer the head to make obeysance to be curteous towards their equals to be gentle and louely to their inferiours and louing and kind to all this is no lesse needfull for youth then their meate and their drinke Also to admonish them to giue their elders and betters leaue to speake before them Iob 32. 45. That they keepe silence while their betters are in place vntill they be spoken vnto and then they must make answer in few words without vnnecessary circumstances and directly vnto the matter And they may not be loud babling or hote in speech but cold and milde Prouerbes 17. Warne them that they do not interrupt or trouble others whiles they are in speaking Prou. 19. 20. Wherfore if children will keepe the bounds of good manners they must not be streperous or troublesome in talke but they must obserue and take their due time and course And if there be any thing spoken vnto which they would willingly make answer they must either curteously craue leaue of him that speaketh or else they must carrie it in remembrance vntill their turne cometh to speake which is the better of the twaine And further they must giue an entercourse of speech vnto others and suffer others to speake by them for there is a time to keepe silence and so to heare others speaking for he that will haue all the talke passeth the bounds of good manners Moreouer parents ought to teach their children how to frame their gestures to a reuerent and dutifull behauiour towards others which consisteth in these points 1. The first is to meete those that are comming towards them And of this they haue an example in holy Abraham Genes 18. 2. where it is said And he lifted vp his eyes and looked and lo three men stood by him and when he saw them he ranne to meete them from the tent doore Againe another example they may haue in king Salomon sitting vpon his regall Throne 1. King 2. 19. Bethsheba therefore went to King Salomon to speake vnto him for Adoniah and the King rose to meete her 2. The second is to rise vp to elders and betters when they passe by them And this is taught Leuiticus 19. 23. Thou shalt rise vp before the hoar-head and houour the person of the old man and dread thy God I am the Lord. But here we must warne you of a great abuse which for the most part is cōmitted in all Churches and which tendeth to the high dishonour of God which is this that neither you your selues neither your children nor seruants do know the time of your duties but you will then rise vp to men when both you and they should kneele downe to God as if one that is more honorable among you shall come into the Church while you are vpon your knees in prayer vnto God presently you start vp and leaue God to reuerence men Is this religion Is this deuotion becomming Gods house Is not this all one as if a man should say Stay God here comes in my father my maister my worshipfull neighbour and my good friend to whom I am much beholden I must do my dutie vnto him I must rise vp till he be past and then I will come to thee againe What is this but to preferre men before God This doing plainely sheweth that such are louers of men more then of God and that such as take this dutie and reuerence vpon them are robbers of Gods honour and they shall answer him for it Is there no time to shew our duty towards men but euen then when we are about Gods seruice Why know you when man standeth before God how honourable soeuer he be he is but dung and filth and not to be regarded in comparison of him And let parents learne this wisedome that while they are taught their duties towards men it is not to rob God of his worship but there is an appointed time to euery dutie and purpose as Ecclesiastes in his third Chapter well admonisheth To all things there is an appointed time and a time to euery purpose vnder heauen It is recorded of Leuie to his eternall praise Deut. 33. 9. that in Gods cause he said of his father and mother I see him not neither knew he his brethren nor his owne children Euen so beloued our eyes and our minds and deuotions should be so fixed and intent vpon God when we are in his seruice that we should not see nor regard any man in that while And againe we reade in the second Chapter of the Gospell after Saint Iohn of our Sauiour himselfe who though he was the most dutifull child that euer was borne of woman yet when he was about his fathers businesse he said vnto his mother Woman what haue I to do with thee Which examples will teach vs that when we are about Gods seruice all other duties must sleepe and be laid apart 3. The third dutie of good manners to be obserued in their gesture is to stand while their betters are sitting in place Example of this we haue in holy Abraham of his entertaining of the three strangers as it is written Geneses 18. 8. And he tooke butter and milke and the calfe which he had prepared and set before them and stood by himselfe vnder the tree and they did eate Well may Abraham be called the father of the faithfull for giuing his children so good example 4. The fourth dutie is to bend the knee in token of humilitie and subiection example of this 1. King 2. 19. 5. The fift thing is that they giue
helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may indeed but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children are corrupted abroad when they were before and are still corrupted and spoiled at home Alas if parents to whom the comfort of their children well brought vp is a precious crowne will not informe and reforme their children in the feare of God how can hope sustaine these men that others will performe this duty for them to whom this charge doth farre lesse appertaine Lastly let parents remember that therefore they haue disordered and disobedient children to themselues because they haue bene disobedient children to the Lord and disordered to their parents when they were young whereof because they haue not repented the Lord punisheth their sinnes to others with the like sinne to themselues Wilt thou know thou father how thou maist haue that blessing to be the blessed father of a blessed seed Wilt thou know thou mother how to auoyd that curse to be the cursed mother of a cursed seed Bring thy children within the compasse of the couenant indeuour to make thy sonne the sonne of God and thy daughter by nature the daughter of God by grace and remember that God on his part protested to father Abraham that he was all sufficient for the accomplishment of his promise in giuing him a blessed seede and requested also on father Abrahams part that he should walke before him and be vpright Wilt thou then haue the one part of this couenant that is that God should blesse thee in thy seede then remember also that thou walke before the Lord and be vpright Wilt thou haue thy children as the blessed seede of Abraham teach them with Abraham the iudgements of the Lord pray for them with Abraham that they may liue in the light of the Lord be readie to offer them with Abraham that they may be an holy sacrifice vnto the Lord. It is thou ô man ô woman that maist do thy child the greatest good and the greatest harme if thou prayest for them and repentest for thy selfe the Lord will blesse thy care the Pastors paines and the teachers trauell but if thou despisest these duties the Lord will denie thee these blessings and the curse of God will fall vpon the childe at home in thy house abroad in the Church and in the schoole And seeing the Lord hath promised that he will be thy God and blesse thy seede if thou beest faithfull thou mayest bothe hope that thou art of the faithfull if thou hast a blessed seede and feare that thou hast not as yet the blessing of the couenant when thy seede is accursed But had not Iacob wicked children and Dauid vngodly sonnes and doth not daily experience teach vs that wicked men haue godly children Yes for besides the secret counsell of the Lord herein we must know that neither the promise of the Lord is so vniuersall that euery particular child of a faithfull man should be within the Couenant or if of many there be but one blessed the promise is performed yea which more is though the faithfull man haue neuer a good childe yet if vnto a thousand generations there be but one good the Couenant is not broken Noither must we tye the Lord his worke so much to man that a good man may not haue an cuill sonne seeing though the Lord visit not his sinnes yet he may visit the sinnes of some of his fore-fathers to the third and fourth generation going before To the second we say that an euill father hauing a good child though the Lord shew not mercy to that particular man therein yet he may remember his promise to some of the fore-fathers in the thousand generations going before and though that euill man haue no cursed child yet the curse may be accomplished in the third and fourth generation following Wherefore not speaking of Election or Reprobation which we leaue onely to the Lord to make good or bad we exhort parents to the ordinary meanes to bring vp their children so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God as heires of the couenant or at least be comforted in their owne consciences If their children for some cause vnknowne refuse it yet they may reioyce in this that to the vttermost of their ability they haue vsed all good and godly meanes to bring them vp well and offered them to God And if parents haue cause to be grieued when thus trauelling in good education they cannot see good in their children how much more cause of griese may they haue when they haue vsed and bestowed no labour at all to bring them vp in the feare of the Lord And yet many will be grieued for the one that will not for the other Wherefore if we wish to conuey God his blessings to our posterities let vs vse the duties thereunto let vs if we be loth to conuey God his iudgements to our children carefully auoid the meanes vnto it And surely as it is a blessed thing in the houre of death with Symeon to depart in peace leauing our wiues children and seruants members of Christ spouses to Christ children to God and seruants to the Lord So in death no one thing will be more grieuous vnto a man then the Lord hauing giuen him the charge of so many soules to be furthered to saluation that his owne tormented conscience shall presse him How as much as he could he hath helped them forward to their damnation and so which is more fearefull he shall haue them spewing and foming out on his face continuall curses in hell accusing him for euer to be a murtherer of their soules and a cut-throat of their saluation The end of all this briefly is thus much that parents hauing fooles children not walking either in knowledge or in a good conscience must make some vse of so iust a cause of griefe examining themselues and accusing their owne soules before the Lord either for that their meeting was prophane to so holy an estate or brutish because they desired rather a seed like vnto themselues in flesh and bloud then such as might be like Christ by grace and new birth or that they begat their off-spring as meere naturall or very carnall men or because they either prophanely neglected all good education or monstroufly misliked that in their yong children which they liked in themselues and punished in them their owne corrupt precepts or for that they suffered their children iniuriously to do euill to others which they could not suffer to do to themselues or vntaught them that at home which was taught abroad or in that they do lye in some sinne vnrepented of or else because they neuer made conscience to bring their posteritie within the couenant of saluation but still loued the flesh of their children and not their soule Let all parents remember that they are bound by the law of God and nature as concerning this bodily life to make good and honest
dutie of Children towards their Parents THis dutie of children as it may be gathered out of the holy Scriptures consisteth in fiue points 1. First that they obey their parents and do serue them and also do feare loue honour and reuerence them not onely in word and deed but in their hearts and minds also 2. Secondly that they follow their good precepts and examples of life 3. Thirdly that they patiently take correction at their hands 4. Fourthly that they make continuall and hearty prayers to God for them 5. And lastly that they do relieue maintaine and nourish their parents in case they shall fall into pouertie or decay The summe and effect of all which is as followeth AS the Lord our God hath made and created children through their parents so hath he cast and made them subiect vnder the power and authority of their parents to obey and ferue them in his stead saying Honour thy father and thy mother which honour consisteth not in bowing the knee or putting off the cap or giuing to their parents the vpper-hand onely but in this that they loue them with all their hearts that they feare and dread them that they cheerfully do their commandements will and pleasure that they seeke their worship credite profit and preferment in all things lawfull and if need require that they giue their liues for them remembring that they are their parents goods and possessions and that they owe to them euen their owne selues and all that they are able to do yea and more then they are able By this word Honour is also signified the loue reuerence dutie obedience subiection entertainment and necessarie assistance that children owe to their parents As concerning the loue the summarie of the second Table comprehended in these words Theu shalt loue thy neighbour as thy selfe doth manifestly confirme it For who can be a nearer neighbour for the children to loue then their parents Besides that they are not to be loued onely as neighbours proceeding of Adam and Eue but also as fathers and mothers And therefore what ingratitude is it not to loue those of whom next after God they haue their life and being together with so many great and continuall benefits Also the loue that parents do beare to their children besides so many their labours sorrowes troubles and vexations should bind them reciprocally to loue them The Sunne shining a while vpon the cold stones doth so heate them that they yeeld some warmth so albeit that children be as hard and cold as stones yet the experience and daily feeling of the loue of their parents towards them ought mightily to inflame their hearts to loue them againe Take away the beame from the Sunne and it will not shine the springs from the riuer and it will drie vp the bough from the tree and it will wither the member from the body and it will rot and so take from children their duty to their parents and they are no longer children but brethren and companions with those vnto whom Christ Iesus said Ye are children of the diuell Ioh. 8. 44. This band of the loue of children towards their parents should take such place not onely towards such parents as are louing and gentle but also as Saint Peter saith of the duties of seruants to their maisters euen towards such as be rigorous For if we ought to loue all the children of Adam euen those whom we know not yea out enemies and persecutors how much rather our parents although they should intreat vs roughly and with rigour either in word or deed And verily the principall cause still abideth namely that they be our father and mother This ought children well to note to the end that patiently bearing their reprehensions reproofs and in generall whatsoeuer their troublesome and sharpe affections they may still continue and declare their child-like affection and loue And to that purpose children must remember the labour griefe anguisn weeping sorrow and other troublesome cares that their parents do abide and endure for them This loue must be accompanied with reuerence and respect and to say the truth albeit the name of Father belongeth properly vnto God as Iesus Christ saith You haue but one Father euen he which is in heauen yet doth he so impart it to those that haue begotten vs that they being called fathers do beare the title and Image of God And this is it that bindeth children to respect and honour them and to testifie the same by their outward reuerence Of this reuerence we haue a notable example in Salomon he vnderstanding that his mother Bethshebah was comming to speake with him arole from his seate came to meete her bowed before her and seated her vpon his right hand Neither could his greatnesse neither his Royall-estate priuiledge him from this respect and honor due to his mother When the sonne doth execute magistracie or publicke office he is greater then his father and must beare himselfe as a magistrate not as a sonne but when he is out of place or execution of office he must how highly soeuer he be aduanced haue a respect and yeeld reuerence to his parents But many times it falleth out otherwise for many children when they come to honor or wealth do so despise their parents if they be of meaner calling then themselues that hardly they will acknowledge or call them father as if they were ashamed of them So that that man putteth off the affection of a child to his father who by the eminencie of an office ouer him quencheth the name of a sonne But Salomon forgat not himselfe in this kind of dutie for he did not onely bow before his mother but said Mother aske and I will not denie thee And this do we the rather note also vpon an other consideration namely that his example condemneth the custome of these dayes wherein this name of father and mother is accounted so base and contemptible that the children of Kings Princes yea euen of meane Gentlemen speaking to their parents must not say father mother but Syr my Lord my Ladie Madame c. But the due honour to parents that we here speake of implyeth not onely this outward reuerence but also that we should so esteeme of them as that neither we our selues should despise them nor suffer others-to haue them in contempt And this are we to vnderstand in the saying of Iesus Christ I honour my Father but ye dishonour me He therefore defendeth the honour of his Father against the false opinions and slaunders of the Iewes But some there are so vnnaturall and peruerse that forgetting all due reuerence and respect to their parents they will not onely despise them in their owne hearts and suffer others to speake hardly of them but also will themselues so farre exceed as euen to lay them open to the scorne of others Ham the sonne of Noah seeing his father lye vncouered called his brethren to shew them