And now hereby do I know that it was the Spirit of God and of truth that did work at this time because it did lay mee low and flat before him that is holy and made me see my own insufficiency and his great al sufficiency which did much humble mee and broak and melted mee exceedingly then was this promise given in That they that waiton the Lord shall renew their strength they shall mount up with wings as Eagles they shall run and not be weary and they shall walk and not faint And my heart was very much drawn out to wait upon God in a way of believing both for my self and people of God having that word as it were whispered in my ear If thou canst believe all things are possible Another time I was considering that though I had been a Professor many years yet I though indeed I was but a babe in Christ then that word came upon mee Out of the mouthes of babes and sucklings thou hast ordâ—ined praise And indeed I can incourage the most simple and weak to wait on the Lord for his grace is sufficient At this time I was taught by the spirit that prayer was another thing then some take it to be it is of a divine nature and they onely whom God helpeth can pray for it is not words that is alwayes needfull for a soul may pray and utter no words and have sweet communion with God by faith yet words sometimes affect the heart and I have sometimes found the voyce cannot be kept in the heart may be so filled Therefore I blame none but desire to be tender of all for God accepts what himself gives outward performances is as the shell without the kernel if the spirit act not but what of his own spirit is in any duty that God doth accept And we read of the poor woman in the Gospel who met with some discouragements yet by the power of faith being inabled to hold on oh how greatly he commended her faith and answered her desire though her words were but few onely Lord help mee c. And Hannahs prayer was heard who did but move her lips And although she was a woman of a sorrowful spirit before yet she went away believing and also rejoycing that God had heard her prayer So the desires of them that fear him shall be answered and he will hear their cry Daniel before he made his supplication was answered the groaning of the spirit before the Lord is a loud cry the prayer of faith doth save the sick The Lord is a very present help in the time of need They that trust in him shall not be disappointed Nay he takes pleasure in them that fear him and that hopes in his mercy Therefore let them that call on the name of the Lord depart from iniquity Further my heart being carried out long to wait for and expect ther teachings of the spirit more fully to be given mee and therefore if any thing comes in further it is not of nor from my self but the Spirit of Gods working in and upon a poor weak creature who though I be very unfit to publish any thing of this nature to the world yet according to my measure I would with that poor woman do what I can with willingness and cheerfulness for God loves a cheerful heart in his work and the Apostle saith if there be first a willing mind it is accepted according to that a man hath and not according to that he hath not Yet I am much incouraged to believe that this work is of the Lord for I have found the flesh exceeding opposet thereunto and when I have neglected it God hath withdrawn himself from mee and when I set to it in good earnest then God returns and let mee injoy sweet communion with himself And the more the Lord appeared at the first comings in of these things upon my soul the more his love broake my heart that I was wonderfully affected to behold the freeness of his grace to such a one And verily the more watchful I was against sin and unto duty the more of his divine presence was affoarded which is so gloriously sweet to injoy that the more I had the more still I would have and still longed for not onely in the day but in the night also hearkening what God spake and in the night his vvay to my soul hath been to come in vvith many svveet seasonable and povverful instructions stirring me up to pray teaching me hovv to pray and vvhat to pray for encreasing my faith and considence to believe for that I have praied for both for my self and others and also stirring mee up to praysing him and I find that giving my self vvholy to the disposing of God in prayer is a very good thing also this fear hath been upon mee sometimes that I should offer unto God that vvhich cost mee nothing that is to lay on t the choisest and most of the day about the vvorld and then bring the sleepy head to God for a sacrifice I minding the spirituallity of true prayer and my unfitness for it I have found the councel of our Lord Jesus Christ very useful vvhere he saith VVatch and pray Math. 26 41. And the Apostle saith VVatch unto prayer Pet. 1 4 7. yet I have found often when I have been to pray unto God my heart have been very dead and I could not get it into so spiritual a forme as I would yet durst not neglect the dayly waiting upon God in that duty but even then made it my work to petition the Lord to compose my spirit and quicken me by his grace and holy Spirit that I might not offer the blind the halt and lame in sacrifice unto God And indeed then God hath so come in upon my spirit that I haâ—â— had more communion with him self yea more then at some other time when I have been apt to think my self more fit At other times when I have not found God coming in to help mee I have gone a way and waited his time for unless God enlarge our hearts it is not good for us to en large in words for God is in heaven and thou on the earth therefore let thy words befew thy words mark that and bodily exercise prositeth nothing my son give mee thy heart saith God Eccles 5 2. The poor man that said God be merciful unto mee a Sinner went a way more accepted or rather Justified then the Pharise in the time before the coming of Christ in the flesh if Gods people could not bring a lamb fo ra sacriffice if they brought but two pigeons or a little flower if it were brought to the Priest it was accepted so if we come to him that Justifies the ungodly and hath promised to do all our works in us and for us beholding his alsufficiency and submit to him and be content with that he will give us as well in spirit uals as in temperals the Lord will accept of
the Scripture before prayer many times quickeneth the heart to Christ And to meditate on Gods mercies to our soules and bodyes and what great things Christ hath suffered to purchase these mercies for us is a great help to stir up to that heavenly duty of praising and thankfulness which is a maine duty I would stir up my self and others unto because our hearts are apt to be very backward unto it and secondly because it is a duty to be done at all times In all things give thankes yea in afflictions For God hath promised all shall worke together for good to them that love God Thirdly to be filled with the Spirit of praises makes the soul to live in heaven while it is on earth verily we had need be stirred up to this duty for he that offers praise glorifies God Psal 50. last verse And Iesus Christ complaines against the neglect of it in that place where the ten Leppers were clensed and but one did returne thankes saith Christ was there not ten cleused but where are the nine O! athankful frame doth compose the heart to great contentedness in every condition it is of a divine nature it stirres up the graces of God in the soul as love and faith with hope in God and charity to others Therefore pray for the Spirit of God to put the heart into a praising frame for there 's need of the exercise of much heavenly wisdome in the performance of this duty for â—t is a spiritual work Another experience I have had that it is our duty and very profitable to watch against all evil thoughs these ften grieve the holy Spirit of God as of old he complained how long shall vain thoughts lodg within you and God looking upon man beholding what was in his heart and seeing his thoughts to be evil onely and continually and it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth and it grieved him at the heart and God said I will distroy man whom I have created from the facre of the earth Gen. 5 6. And then down comes the flood of Gods displeasure upon the old world not for sinful actions only but thoughts also Therefore keep your hearts with all diligence Prov. 4 23. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh And in the multitude of words is sin I would desire all to take heed of idle words and mind well what ye speak when and how avoid all needless speeches and put far away all vain foolish jesting an evil which my self was some times very prone too and as too many do harm by I endeavored to make my self and others merry but alas 't is sinful mirth and it will bring sadness here or els which is worse end in sorrow hereafter thus was I convinced of this evâ—l being upon a joyrney meeting one that was a stranger to mee thinking to make him and my self laugh spoake jestingly to him but he presently fella swearing and cursing and railing which when I heard wounded me to the heart that I by my folly should provoke the poor man so to sin against God my mirth soon turned into mourning And while I mourned before the Lord over this my great evil which had produced such a sad effect God was pleased to set this upon my heart Cannot I make thee more merry with heavenly and spiritual joy then thou canst make thy self with such foolish vain and sinful mirth And the Lord hath since filled mee with that sweet refreshing joy that is a thousand times better to mee then all sinful mirth Further in reference to words I would commend unto yow some Scripture rules Iam. 1 26. compared with Math. 12 27. from whence we may observe that when any person doth utter words that be vain earthly or froward it doth plainly manifest that there is an earthly vain and froward heart whiâ—h is an abomination to the Lord Prov. 11 20. and in Iam. 1 19. The Apostle doth perswade Christians to be swift to hear but slow to speak and slow to wrath And Jesus doth exhort his followers that their yea should be yea and their nay nay saying that what soever is more is evil And Iams 1 21. bids us lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness that is to say what ever is more then needful in words apparel and diet yea and in all things and what ever profession any person may make if they bridle not their tonge they deceive themselves and their Religion is vain hath God through his free grace passed his distinguishing love upon a little Remnant doubtless 't is their duty then to distinguish themselves from others in their words habit and in their whole conversation so to walke as becometh the Gospel Phil. 1 27. Surely if persons were awakened by the voice of God that speaks lowd in the present afflictions they would so doe 't now is not a time for any of Gods Children to continue their superfluities when many do want necessaries Let me intreat such to read and mind what is written in Rom. 12 1 2. And 1 Pet. 2 11. If we could but be moderate in the use of all things what good Stewards should we be of the manifold blessings of God which he hath betrusted us with and we must give an account of in the day of the Lord. Prosperity hath made many to glory in the flesh and exalt themselves in which vain glory some still do continue although the great Eternal God hath and doth testify from heaven against it but if it be not repented of and departed from God wil turn it into shame Hosea 4 7. As they were increased so they sinned against me therefore will I change their glory into shame it s now a trying time and all persons by their conversations will discover what they are and were ever the deeds and workes of the flesh appear and are alowed 't is evident there is not the Spirit of God in them And they who have not the Spirit of Christ are none of his And 't is not a talking of but walking in the Spirit will help against the fulfilling the lusts of the flesh and manifest who are the true Children of God Oh! that persons were wise to consider their latter end then surely they would not neglect the knowledg of those things that belong to their peace but chuse that better part that shall never be taken from them Which would make them happy for ever Oh! that all would be persuaded to commune with their own hearts and consider their own wayes And to mind the dreadful Judgments of God and his vials of wrath that shall be powred out against sin and sinners surely they would see it is high time to departe from pride vain glory coveteousness oppression hypocrisy mallice and all sin For verily God is visiting for these things and for persons still to continue therein may it not be feared and justly exspected that God should increase his Judgments and punish
us onely believing we must flee unto the hornes of the Althar And I have found when I have neglected prayer my heart hath been very dead and full of unbelief And again I have found it no comfort to rest upon duties for that is a dangerous evil to set up such an Idol in the heart but here in lay my comfort when I by faith could have communion vvith God and coming near to him could cast my burthen upon him and go avvay quiet in my mind that Christ vvould do all for mee and vvhen I vvas vvilling God shtould do vvhat he pleased vvith mee and my vvill vvas brought to his vvill then have I had the mercy I have asked and more also many times I have found retired places and vvatchings the best opportunities and greatest advantages unto prayer Also I have had many temptations against prayer but the best vvay to overcome them is to mind the command of Jesus Christ vvhich is that vve should vvatch unto prayer and pray alvvayes keep close to the duty in the strength of Christ and loose not the motions of the Spirit neither grieve the Spirit by sin but vvatch against all appearances of evil for I hahave found that the neglect of vvatchfulness against sin and being overcome by it doth greatly deaden the heart to duty keep your eyes upon the promises by faith look up unto Christ in prayer and let all take heed of setting up prayer or any other duty above or in the roome of Jesus Christ Iâ— God assist you to pray for a mercy though he give it not in presently yet hold on if your asking be according to his will and your end the glory of God and ye find enlargment from the Spirit of life you may be sure he will be answer you in that thing or else in some thing better for you in his ovvn season My self sought the Lord 20 years for one thing before I had an ansvver but at last being at prayer after I had done God gave mee in a most gracious ansvver and set dovvn the very time of deliverance and did accordingly accomplish it at the very time to him be the praise And many other things I have sought the Lord for and he hath been pleased to grant my desire especially vvhen he hath made me earnest and importunate and have assisted me to hold on and given me a spirit of faith to believe for the thing prayed for Another time I sought the Lord for a relation of mine who was thought to be near unto death and this vvas given in call upon mee in the day of trouble I vvil hâ—ar and deliver and thou shalt glorify mee and â—rom that time that person amended and life vvas continued Also I knew another young person that was by the word preached convinced of her sinsul state and set upon the performance of some duties but not being acquainted with the wiles and temptations of Satan afterward some deadness ceasing upon her spirit began to neglect her duty but one in the family perceiving of it advised her to present her self before the Lord and although she found her self dead yet to pray that she might pray whose conucel shee took and shee continuing diligent the Lord came in by the mighty witness of his spirit fully satisfying her soul in a very short time Further oh let all that fear God be encouraged to continue in and not neglect family duties for I have found by good experience many wrought upon by instructions and prayer when their lot have been cast into those families where reading praying and Catechising and such duties have been faithfully performed ô many young ones have been brought home to God by his blessing upon this meanes And amongst many more I remember one who was very strongly assalted with many temptariones to keep her from coming to and clossing with Jesus Christ and this tâ—mptation was most upon her that she was too young and it would be time enough afterward why should she expose her self to scorne and reproach by being called a Puritan and so become a luaghing stock to others but the Lord was pleased to overcome her and bring her to himself X Another also who set her self against them in the family that wished her soules good and used all meanes to gâ—t out of that family to which end also she raised some lyes which very evil the Lord set upon her heart and then she came to be convinced of her sad sinful state and was also brought home to God through his rich grace in Jesus Christ And another who by this meanes vvas vvrought upon that vvas a young maid a Ministers Daughter and had been vvell instructed and educated from a child vvhereby she vvas informed of the evils of scandalous sins and avoided them and vvas also very constant in the performance of duties and indeed so vvalked as none could see ought a mise in her conversation yet notvvithstanding the poor heart vvas ignorant of her self and of Jesus Christ but she being under a family Catechising and instruction vvas by the mighty povver of the eternal Spirits vvorking convinced of original sin and then she savv that for all her formality she vvas a sinner and had need of a Saviour and so vvas brought home to close with Jesus Christ This also I have found that a constant close secking of God hath been crowned with his presence for I my self was with some others desired to pray to the Lord for councel and direction for them but they would not tell mee in what it was that they sought direction yet notwithstanding I did not know the thing I set my self to seek God for them and he was pleased to shew me what it was this was Anno 1657. and I did pray God to let mee know his mind in that particular and the Lord put it upon my heart to go and read and the place of Scripture handed to mee was quite against their work at that time which they had upon their heart to do then I sought the Lord again and the second answer was go in and â—ead then I looked up to the Lord as I did before and said Lord shew me where I shall read and that Scripture also was flat against their work and just so I had a third answer also And the next day as I was at my work my heart and meditations were above and my secret desire still to God for the further teachings of his good Spirit and these following lines with much more came in as a further answer from the Lord As for the work of Babylon It is a mighty work and strong But yet my power shall it compleat For my wisdom it mighty great They must sit still behold my power VVhich worketh for them hour by hour And novv my dear Christian friends into vvhose hands this my poor mite shall come I desire you take notice of that great love and vvonderful grace of God vvhich he hath been pleased to manifest
words following Awake therefore to righteousness This was again brought to mind in January 1662. The Lord is near at hand And will afflict now very sore By sea and like by land And this seemes to agree with and is a further addition to what wa's given mee in before in the Year 1657. which is as followeth There is a time approaching near at hand That men shall be in fear by sea and land There is a time there will be alteration And this same time doth hasten to this nation Let now my children hearken to my will And they shall see I will be with them still These with many more such things came upon my spitit and then after seeking the Lord he was pleased to shew mee by degrees what was the work of the day for I am a stranger and a Pilgrim therefore I seek sor a Kingdom whose Buylder and Maker is God I desire not to set up the Idol of covetâ—ousness but to have it to be my meat and drink to do the will of my Father which is in heaven and 't is my onely desire to deny my self and to honor him seeking to know the present work of the day some Scriptures with many waity considerations were set upon my heart Hezekiahs prayers and tears which were accepted of God when his heart was broaken A broaken and a comrite heart is acceptable in the sight of God and he will dwelâ— with such Isa 57 15. rend your hearts and not your garments and turn to the Lord indeed when much of the sorm of Godliness appears but the power is waming then it is a time to mourn and in some it hath been so in all ages theresore Gods Prophet was bâ—d cry aloud and spare not Isa 58 1. VVhen sinlies hiden in the heart nothing is accepted Isai 58 2. Yet yoe seek mee early and desire to know my wayes as a nation that did righteousness read and mind the whole Cnap Isa 15 16. Cease to do evil saith the Lord and learn to doe well c. But unto the wicked God saith what hast thou to do to declare my statutes or that thou shouldest take my covenant in thy mouth seenig thou hatest to be refâ—rmed then it came upon my heart that the duty of the present time was for the people of God to be very much in these following things The work of the day 1. First to be watchful that the caâ—es of this world and the deceitfulness of riches make us not to forget the coming of Christ and the glory that shall then be revealed 2. Secondly be moderate in all things the Lord is at hand be patient and act much faith be much in prayer do good lay up treasures in heaven these be all very weighty things 3. Be much in humiliation seek not great things for your selves in a day when God is pulling down God pronounceth a 〈◊〉 to them that are at case in Sion that put far away the evil day and cause the seat of violence to come near A mos 6. vers 3 4 5 6. that lie upon beds of Ivory and stretch themselves upon their couches and eat the lambs out of the flock and the calves out of the midst of the stall and so fill themselves in seasting delighting in Musick and drinking wine in bowles but are not grieved for the afflictions of Joseph And the same evil the Prophet Isaiah complaines of also in the 22 of Isa vers 5 9 12 13 14. In that day the Lord God of Hâ—asts called to weeping and mourning and to baldness and girding with sackâ—loath and behold joy and 〈◊〉 slâ—ying oxâ—n and killing of sheep c. In what day was this you may sâ—e in the 5 and 9 verses it was a day of trouble and â—teading down and peâ—plexity But see how the Lord takes notice of this their contrary â—â—â—riage in the 14 verse he chargeth it upon them as such an iniquity as he tells them shall not be purged from them till they dye verse the 14. It is said when the Judgments of God are abroad in the earth the inhabitants thereof shall learn righteousness But it is threatened they shall have no peace who go on in the wayes of sin and wickedness but all that would have peace must come from sin unto Jesus Christ and walk in the way of peace by this way we hide in the rock and enter into the secret chambers where God had promised to keep us till his indignation be over past Then benig troubled in my spirit the Lord was pleased to give in these following promises as special comforts against those great and publique calamities which were coming I even I am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake and will not remember thy sins Isai 34 25. I also will leave in the midst of thee an afflicted and poor people and they shall trust in the name of the Lord. Zeph. 3 12. And they shall be mine saith the Lord in the day that I make up my Iewels and I will spare them as a man spareth his own son that serveth him Malachy 3 17. And the Lord shall guide thee continually and satisfy thy soul in drought and make fat they bones and thou shall be like a wattered garden and like springs of watter whose watters faile not Isa 58 11. And Moses said unto the people Fear ye not stand still and see the salvation of the Lord which he will shew to you to day for the Egyptians whom you have seen to day you shall see them again no more â—or ever Exod. 14 13. The name of the Lord is a strong Tower the Righteous run into it and is safe Prov. 18 10. They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strentgh they shall mount up with wings as Eagles they shall run and not be weary and they shall walke and not faint Isa 40 31. Also the Lord set it upon my heart how the people of God ought to caâ—ry it in such a day of calamity namely that they ought to have upon their hearts a deep sence of sin which is the cause of sorrow as Lots righteous soul was grieved with the unclean conversation of the wicked therefore God took care of him and he was preserved when others were destroyed with the firy storme of Gods Also God is pleased to set a mark upon the fore-heads of them that mourn for the abomination of the times Also it was given me in to believe that God would be a wall of fire about his people with this promise That all things shall work together for good to them that love God who are the called according to his purpose Rom. 8 28. And the Lord said All things were made for himself and nothing shall be destroyed vvithout mee And God appeared unto Abraham saying I am God alsufficient c. Gen. 17 1. Let my word be a light to thy feet and a Lanthorn to thy pathes for I will keep them in perfect peace whose