Selected quad for the lemma: duty_n
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A33544
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The dignity and duty of a married state in a sermon preach'd at the celebration of a marriage in the English Episcopal Church at Amsterdam / by John Cockburn.
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Cockburn, John, 1652-1729.
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1697
(1697)
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Wing C4806; ESTC R29616
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11,220
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20
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of the Law concerning our Neighbour and so it may be said of the Duties of Marriage Love both teaches them and prompts to the Observance of them For all that is injoin'd Husband and Wife are only proper Expressions and Declarations of true Love He that loveth his Wife will be far from abusing her or treating her roughly he will honour her himself and endeavour to have her honour'd by others He will deal tenderly by her and cherish her to the utmost of his power he will not deny her the Satisfactions that are reasonable and in his power but will be active and industrious to provide for her And if the Man do this the Woman must be unnatural if she be not gained by it The Wife must love too and if she love nothing injoined will be grievous Obedience which sounds so hard and so harsh to self-willed and unthinking Woman will not be unpleasant to her that loves For Love is obsequious and observant and is glad of the Occasions and Opportunities of testifying it The Obedience of the Wife is indispensible but if there be Love it will not be complain'd of By exacting Obedience the Wife is not so hardly dealt with for it is easier to obey than to command aright and the Praise of Obedience may be due where there is no Honour in Commanding It is an express and often repeated Command of God that the Woman be obedient and it becomes her to be so even where the Man does not personally deserve it and then she shews her regard for God which is her Praise and for which she shall be surely rewarded Finally To ensure and compleat the Happiness of a married State both Husband and Wife must with all care mind Religion and keep up the Fear of God between them This is the surest way to prevent Miscarriages to secure against all Ruptures and to engage to the right and serious performance of all Things proper and necessary to promote the Peace and Happiness of this State Religion makes all Things sure it ties the Knot harder and makes both willing to bear the Yoke If the true Fear of God possess the Heart of Man and Wife neither of them shall go astray nor be liable to the Rack of Jealousie No uneasie Suspicions shall disturb their Breasts They will not provoke but cherish one another They will be studious to please when out of Sight as well as in it and whether absent or present will be equally Faithful Where the true Fear of God is there will be no occasion for Exhortations and Persuasions for each will be forward to all Duty If Persons understood it true Piety has the greatest Charms nor do they fade with Age. And the greatest Contentment may be expected from a Religious Husband and a Pious Wife This is more to be valued than all those Things which are now the common Motives to Marriage This is better than Houses or Possessions than Bags of Money or Tuns of Gold Favour saith Solomon is deceitful and Beauty is vain but a Woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised Prov. xxxi 30. Besides the Fear of God bringeth his Blessing which contributes more to Peace and Happiness than all our own Endeavours or any outward or visible Means Except the Lord build the House they labour in vain that build it And as He buildeth the House so He maketh them that are in it to be of one Mind All Blessings are promised to them that fear the Lord and particularly those of a married State as you may see Psal. cxxxi Thus I have run through the Chief Things incumbent on Man and Wife that they may reap the Good and Comfort of a married State pray God that all concern'd may remember consider and observe these Things which would make the Church Glorious the State Prosperous and increase the Peace of Families This would make the present Generation happy and would draw down and entail a Blessing on Posterity Now unto God who is the Author of all Good the Father Son and Holy Ghost be all Glory Honour and Praise now and for ever Amen FINIS
more Noble any Being is the more it affects Society and Fellowship Because God is infinitely good He created other Beings to partake of Himself and by that participation to declare his Glory Man was made after the Image of God and consequently it must be natural to Man to seek the Fellowship of others that are after his own likeness When God made Man an consider'd him He saw 't was not good for him to be alone and for that cause proceeded to make Woman to be a Help meet for Man The Dominion of the World and over all Creatures would not have given unto Man full Satisfaction if he had been left alone without such a Companion Let outward Circumstances be never so good there is but half Contentment without a Friend and Copartner 'T is true there is and may be a dear a sweet and intimate Friendship between one Man and another but the Pleasure and Benefit of such a Friendship cannot be always enjoy'd Duty and Interest often separate them whereas marriage by these very Ties of Duty and Interest makes one sure of a faithful loving and inseparable Friend at all Times and in all Circumstances whether better or worse A Man must leave Father and Mother and cleave to his Wife and so must the Wife do to her Husband Besides God has so framed the Nature of Woman and given her such particular Endowments as render her Conversation more grateful and agreeable The Friendship of a Man may chance to be more instructive and may sometimes have the preference for Counsel and Advice but a good Woman has more Charms to divert the Fancy to ease the Spirit and to alleviate the Mind It is a true and notable Saying of the Son of Syrach Eccles. xl 23. A Friend and Companion never meet amiss but above both is a Wife with her Husband The Sweetness and Delicacy of her Temper is proper to file off that Roughness which is ready to grow upon the Nature of Man Therefore commonly single Persons are more morose and surly and less conversible than those who are well married especially if naturally peevish and melancholly for these grow upon Men by the lonesomness of a single Life Indeed an ill Woman frets the Spirit and crushes the Mind but an excellent Wife is to her Husband as David's Harp to Saul she charms away the evil Spirit of Melancholy which is apt to seize men by the Vexation of Business the Incumbrances of Affairs and the Impertinencies of the World Again Marriage is of great Advantage to private Persons because of the mutual help which they give to each other God did not intend that the Woman should be a Clog or Burden or Incumbrance to a Man He did not ordain her to live idlely or sumptuously on the Sweat of his Face but he made her to be a Help unto him that is to be both a Companion and Assistant to partake of his Labours to bear half of his Burden as well as to share of his Happiness He that has a prudent Wife has double the Hands the Eyes the Ears and the Feet of a single Person He can be at Home and Abroad at once She can manage the Affairs of the House while he is transacting Business Abroad and so is in a better way of Thriving of promoting the end of Life and of providing for the Necessities and Comforts of it Some may think that all this may be as well done by Servants but a little Reflection on Experience shew it a mistake for though great Wages may make a Servant faithful they cannot give that Concernment which a Wife hath Wherefore the wise Author I last quoted saith Blessed is the Man that hath a virtuous Wife for the number of his Days shall bedouble A virtuous Woman rejoyceth her Husband and he shall fulfil the Years of his Life in peace A good Wife is a good portion which shall be given in the portion of them that fear the Lord. The Grace of a Wife delighteth her Husband and her Discretion will fat his Bones A silent and loving Woman is a gift of the Lord and there is nothing so much worth to a mind well instructed A modest and faithful Woman is a double Grace and her continent mind cannot be valued As the Sun when it riseth in the high Heaven so is the Beauty of a Wife in the ordering of her House Again he saith The Beauty of a Woman cheareth the Countenance and a Man loveth nothing better if there be kindness meekness and comfort in her Tongue then is not her Husband like other Men. He that getteth a Wife beginneth a possession a help like unto himself and a pillar of Rest. Eccles. xxvi and xxxvii Thus private Persons have great Advantage by marriage In the next place the Publick receiveth no less Profit by it For by this means Children are multiplied and the People increased which is the Strength Security and Glory of a State Unlawful Liberties without Wedlock add little to the Increase of People nor even in those Countries where pluralities of Wives are allowed is it common and usual to have so many Children as with us by one Man and one Woman So marriage according to its first Institution is more for the multiplication of Mankind than any other way And as it tendeth to the Increase of People which is for the good of the Publick so it is the best Security of a good Education to them that are born which is no less for the publick Good If Children were not taken care of they could not live to be Men and if they were not well educated and train'd up to some Art or Profession they would be of little use when grown up both which would be very much neglected if Children were not born as now in lawful Wedlock Women perhaps might have some regard to the Fruit of their Womb but Men would take little thought of those whom they knew not whether they were their own But as it is now Parents love their Children and lay themselves out to provide for them to educate them well and to make them happy all which turneth to the Advantage of the Publick It was very inadvertently said of a * Lord Bacon in his Essays Great Man That Wives and Children were Impediments to great Enterprises of either Virtue or Mischief and that the best Works and of greatest Merit to the Publick were perform'd by unmarried or Childless Men For the very contrary may be proved from History And who can be thought more concerned for the Publick than they who are to leave with it their Darlings and the Pledges of their Affection Commonly single Persons look no further than their own Times but those who are married extend their Thoughts and Care to Posterity Nor are they who are married and have Children more obnoxious to Bribery and perverting of publick Justice for a Servant may be worse than a Wife and do often abuse the Master's Ear more Nor are Wife