degree_n of_o it_o which_o thou_o see_v through_o mercy_n by_o other_o though_o not_o visible_o to_o they_o thus_o do_v the_o lord_n bring_v a_o good_a issue_n out_o of_o their_o own_o speech_n and_o word_n cause_v thou_o to_o lie_v down_o at_o his_o foot_n expect_v the_o punishment_n of_o thy_o iniquity_n yea_o great_a difficulty_n than_o these_o have_v the_o lord_n carry_v thou_o through_o when_o all_o the_o power_n of_o hell_n and_o thy_o own_o corruption_n have_v combine_v together_o to_o keep_v thou_o from_o duty_n of_o prayer_n meditation_n and_o examination_n and_o the_o like_a and_o yet_o the_o lord_n have_v enable_v thou_o to_o break_v through_o all_o and_o to_o pour_v out_o thy_o soul_n to_o he_o when_o thou_o be_v even_o in_o thy_o own_o apprehension_n at_o the_o pit_n brink_n and_o yet_o resolve_v to_o cry_v to_o he_o and_o not_o to_o give_v over_o cry_v and_o call_v whilst_o thou_o live_v notwithstanding_o all_o temptation_n to_o the_o contrary_a yea_o the_o more_o strong_a the_o temptation_n be_v the_o more_o speedy_o be_v thou_o fain_o to_o address_v to_o the_o lord_n for_o his_o strength_n and_o power_n to_o assist_v thou_o in_o grapple_v with_o they_o yea_o when_o some_o time_n overcome_v as_o it_o be_v and_o beat_v down_o by_o satan_n and_o enter_v the_o very_a border_n of_o despair_n yet_o even_o thence_o from_o this_o belly_n of_o hell_n in_o which_o thou_o do_v apprehend_v thyself_o already_o enter_v do_v not_o the_o lord_n enable_v thou_o to_o cry_v to_o he_o &_o resolve_v to_o give_v he_o no_o rest_n yea_o when_o thou_o find_v no_o advantage_n or_o profit_n of_o all_o thy_o prayer_n and_o tear_n &_o sigh_n &_o croan_n but_o that_o the_o lord_n seem_v to_o turn_v a_o deaf_a ear_n yet_o do_v not_o the_o lord_n enable_v thou_o to_o go_v on_o and_o to_o tell_v he_o that_o all_o those_o comfort_n and_o enjoyment_n here_o below_o they_o be_v poor_a mean_a thing_n such_o as_o thou_o can_v not_o take_v for_o thy_o portion_n and_o therefore_o do_v beg_v with_o submission_n to_o his_o will_n that_o if_o he_o have_v no_o other_o for_o thou_o but_o the_o portion_n of_o this_o life_n that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o deny_v thou_o they_o also_o and_o never_o give_v they_o to_o be_v a_o snare_n but_o rather_o let_v thou_o end_v thy_o day_n in_o some_o desolate_a wilderness_n 3._o faithfulness_n appear_v in_o cheerful_a service_n now_o o_o my_o soul_n be_v thou_o not_o able_a to_o say_v before_o the_o lord_n the_o searcher_n of_o heart_n through_o his_o grace_n that_o so_o much_o faithfulness_n as_o thou_o can_v discern_v in_o thou_o in_o any_o service_n of_o thy_o lord_n be_v thy_o very_a joy_n and_o rejoice_n of_o thy_o heart_n but_o on_o the_o other_o side_n so_o much_o unfaithfulness_n as_o thou_o can_v discern_v in_o any_o service_n this_o be_v it_o that_o make_v thou_o go_v mourn_v all_o thy_o day_n because_o thou_o be_v no_o more_o fruitful_a 4._o o_o my_o soul_n thy_o faithfulness_n in_o some_o measure_n appear_v in_o that_o thou_o be_v rejoice_v real_o in_o spirit_n when_o any_o opportunity_n be_v put_v into_o thy_o hand_n and_o thy_o heart_n be_v enable_v in_o any_o measure_n to_o improve_v it_o to_o the_o service_n and_o for_o the_o glory_n of_o thy_o lord_n and_o be_v thou_o not_o on_o the_o contrary_a grieve_v that_o thou_o have_v so_o many_o opportunity_n offer_v before_o thou_o but_o like_o a_o fool_n have_v not_o a_o heart_n to_o improve_v they_o for_o the_o glory_n of_o thy_o lord_n be_v not_o this_o thy_o daily_a burden_n lord_n thou_o know_v it_o be_v &_o when_o through_o the_o subtlety_n of_o satan_n and_o deceit_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n i_o fool_n away_o many_o rich_a opportunity_n by_o not_o improve_n of_o they_o which_o after_o prove_v a_o sad_a burden_n and_o affliction_n to_o i_o 5._o o_o my_o soul_n do_v there_o not_o appear_v some_o degree_n of_o faithfulness_n to_o thy_o lord_n in_o that_o thy_o endeavour_n do_v come_v still_o beneath_o thy_o desire_n have_v not_o the_o lord_n real_o enable_v thou_o through_o grace_n to_o say_v with_o paul_n the_o good_a that_o i_o will_v do_v i_o do_v not_o but_o o_o that_o i_o can_v do_v it_o that_o i_o can_v serve_v the_o lord_n more_o and_o better_o but_o oh_o how_o low_o do_v i_o live_v and_o how_o poor_o do_v i_o walk_v but_o oh_o that_o i_o can_v come_v to_o prayer_n and_o read_v and_o hear_v and_o meditate_v and_o do_v all_o private_a and_o public_a duty_n and_o walk_v in_o all_o my_o relation_n in_o this_o world_n as_o may_v honour_v this_o my_o lord_n be_v not_o these_o the_o continual_a groan_n and_o breathe_n of_o my_o heart_n before_o the_o lord_n lord_n thou_o know_v it_o for_o i_o have_v none_o i_o desire_v to_o appeal_v unto_o but_o to_o thou_o the_o searcher_n of_o my_o heart_n 6._o lord_n do_v not_o some_o faithfulness_n appear_v to_o be_v wrought_v in_o my_o soul_n by_o thou_o in_o that_o thou_o have_v above_o all_o thing_n make_v i_o to_o delight_v in_o that_o work_n that_o no_o eye_n see_v but_o thyself_o thou_o know_v what_o a_o fear_n have_v be_v upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o be_v to_o this_o day_n in_o a_o great_a measure_n to_o appear_v before_o other_o thou_o lord_n know_v how_o many_o year_n this_o fear_n have_v be_v as_o a_o prison_n to_o keep_v in_o the_o working_n of_o my_o heart_n &_o as_o door_n to_o my_o mouth_n to_o keep_v it_o from_o lament_v itself_o not_o so_o much_o as_o in_o one_o word_n in_o the_o hear_n of_o other_o lest_o there_o shall_v any_o pride_n or_o hypocrifie_n act_n in_o it_o yea_o to_o this_o very_a day_n how_o many_o service_n wherein_o perhaps_o thy_o lord_n may_v be_v honour_v be_v thou_o prevent_v and_o dare_v not_o to_o act_v in_o upon_o this_o very_a account_n that_o it_o can_v be_v do_v in_o private_a can_v thou_o not_o say_v before_o the_o searcher_n of_o heart_n that_o such_o thought_n and_o apprehension_n and_o fear_n as_o these_o lest_o other_o shall_v esteem_v thou_o better_o than_o thou_o be_v or_o thy_o own_o spirit_n be_v lift_v up_o before_o the_o lord_n or_o any_o false_a end_n bias_n thou_o in_o it_o that_o such_o thought_n i_o say_v as_o thief_n do_v often_o as_o it_o be_v tie_v up_o thy_o tongue_n sow_v up_o thy_o mouth_n in_o all_o company_n even_o while_o at_o that_o instant_n thy_o heart_n be_v even_o ready_a to_o split_v or_o break_v in_o piece_n for_o want_n of_o vent_n sometime_o apprehend_v that_o those_o discovery_n that_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v sometime_o to_o make_v to_o thou_o and_o the_o rich_a grace_n he_o be_v please_v to_o manifest_v in_o thou_o in_o overcome_v all_o the_o unkindness_n in_o thou_o ought_v not_o to_o be_v put_v unnder_v a_o bushel_n but_o hold_v out_o to_o other_o and_o yet_o not_o dare_v to_o do_v it_o find_v my_o wretched_a heart_n so_o prone_a to_o be_v lift_v up_o upon_o all_o such_o occasion_n and_o so_o dishonour_n god_n that_o way_n and_o so_o deceive_v other_o and_o myself_o also_o and_o through_o both_o these_o fear_v my_o soul_n often_o walk_v sad_o before_o the_o lord_n fear_v to_o offend_v he_o and_o not_o be_v able_a to_o discern_v it_o whether_o way_n i_o may_v most_o honour_v he_o have_v make_v trial_n of_o both_o sometime_o silent_a and_o sometime_o speak_v and_o find_v the_o wickedness_n of_o my_o heart_n appear_v sad_o in_o both_o i_o know_v not_o sometime_o which_o be_v best_a the_o lord_n in_o mercy_n manifest_a and_o clear_v up_o to_o i_o o_o my_o soul_n thus_o may_v it_o probable_o and_o hopeful_o appear_v to_o thou_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v make_v thou_o in_o some_o measure_n his_o faithful_a servant_n 1._o the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o some_o hope_n that_o i_o trust_v i_o have_v no_o other_o master_n that_o i_o willing_o call_v rabbi_n or_o willing_o serve_v but_o my_o lord_n jesus_n nor_o have_v i_o any_o other_o work_n that_o i_o do_v upon_o which_o my_o heart_n be_v delightful_o set_v upon_o but_o only_o my_o lord_n work_v and_o this_o appear_v far_a to_o i_o in_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v i_o hope_v in_o some_o measure_n wrought_v my_o heart_n to_o this_o frame_n of_o spirit_n to_o desire_v above_o all_o thing_n to_o serve_v my_o lord_n christ_n in_o all_o the_o relation_n he_o have_v set_v i_o in_o in_o this_o world_n and_o to_o that_o end_n every_o fail_n in_o any_o of_o they_o either_o as_o a_o child_n or_o friend_n or_o any_o relation_n though_o i_o too_o sad_o fail_v in_o they_o all_o this_o be_v that_o which_o if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o above_o all_o thing_n break_v my_o heart_n to_o think_v that_o hereby_o i_o do_v dishonour_n my_o lord_n jesus_n and_o that_o profession_n of_o be_v his_o servant_n it_o be_v not_o
please_v the_o lord_n so_o to_o order_v it_o mr._n knight_n be_v absent_a mr._n barker_n come_v in_o that_o day_n who_o be_v altogether_o unknown_a to_o i_o who_o take_v a_o view_n of_o this_o paper_n among_o other_o do_v mention_v it_o before_o the_o lord_n both_o in_o the_o entrance_n as_o also_o in_o the_o close_a of_o that_o day_n service_n the_o lord_n put_v into_o his_o heart_n and_o mouth_n a_o very_a seasonable_a word_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n which_o be_v then_o speak_v from_o 2_o pet._n 2._o 3_o 4_o 5._o if_o so_o be_v that_o you_o have_v taste_v that_o the_o lord_n be_v gracious_a to_o who_o come_v as_o live_a stone_n dissallow_v indeed_o of_o man_n but_o choose_v of_o god_n and_o precious_a etc._n etc._n from_o which_o scripture_n and_o what_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v by_o he_o at_o that_o time_n to_o communicate_v from_o it_o do_v my_o soul_n receive_v very_o much_o refreshment_n and_o satisfaction_n then_o do_v the_o lord_n also_o direct_v the_o spirit_n of_o those_o that_o carry_v on_o that_o meeting_n to_o treat_v much_o about_o temptation_n from_o which_o there_o be_v many_o seasonable_a useful_a truth_n set_v home_o upon_o my_o heart_n find_v by_o this_o discourse_n that_o scripture_n in_o 1_o cor._n 10._o 13._o plain_o make_v good_a to_o my_o poor_a soul_n that_o no_o temptation_n have_v take_v i_o but_o such_o as_o i_o now_o see_v be_v common_a to_o other_o that_o i_o dare_v not_o think_v but_o to_o be_v the_o people_n of_o god_n now_o hear_v they_o complain_v of_o the_o same_o thing_n which_o together_o with_o the_o refreshment_n and_o support_a consideration_n under_o each_o of_o these_o which_o be_v hold_v out_o to_o we_o be_v my_o poor_a droop_a spirit_n mighty_o support_v after_o this_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n also_o to_o direct_v they_o in_o this_o meeting_n to_o treat_v about_o that_o great_a grace_n of_o faith_n and_o so_o afterward_o to_o answer_v many_o doubt_n and_o fear_n that_o lay_v upon_o many_o soul_n from_o all_o which_o be_v too_o large_a here_o to_o relate_v my_o soul_n receive_v very_o much_o refresh_v be_v in_o the_o close_a of_o that_o service_n put_v again_o upon_o it_o by_o the_o spirit_n of_o the_o lord_n through_o these_o his_o servant_n to_o put_v the_o question_n to_o my_o soul_n at_o every_o turn_n doubt_v whence_o come_v thou_o or_o wherefore_o do_v thou_o doubt_v and_o true_o the_o lord_n have_v speak_v so_o much_o to_o my_o soul_n by_o all_o these_o mean_n and_o instrument_n former_o mention_v that_o the_o strength_n of_o my_o doubt_n and_o fear_n begin_v so_o to_o scatter_v that_o i_o can_v give_v very_o little_a account_n of_o the_o cause_n or_o ground_n of_o they_o be_v also_o now_o convince_v in_o some_o measure_n that_o i_o do_v by_o these_o doubt_n fear_n jealousy_n and_o hard_a thought_n of_o god_n much_o provoke_v and_o dishonour_v he_o so_o that_o though_o former_o i_o think_v it_o as_o it_o be_v a_o virtue_n in_o i_o to_o be_v doubt_v and_o question_v my_o estate_n i_o come_v now_o in_o some_o measure_n through_o grace_n to_o see_v that_o it_o be_v a_o heinous_a sin_n and_o therefore_o to_o endeavour_v strive_v and_o pray_v and_o do_v all_o i_o can_v against_o they_o yet_o do_v often_o i_o lie_v under_o many_o sad_a apprehension_n arise_v hence_o be_v convince_v by_o the_o word_n in_o read_v in_o one_o of_o mr._n burrows_n book_n that_o there_o be_v no_o worship_n acceptable_a to_o god_n but_o that_o which_o be_v tender_v up_o to_o he_o as_o a_o father_n and_o the_o father_n of_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n now_o i_o not_o find_v myself_o able_a at_o that_o time_n to_o look_v upon_o god_n or_o look_v up_o to_o he_o under_o this_o relation_n of_o a_o father_n only_o look_v upon_o he_o as_o a_o gracious_a merciful_a and_o yet_o withal_o a_o just_a severe_a god_n this_o be_v a_o great_a trouble_n to_o my_o spirit_n than_o do_v the_o lord_n by_o the_o ministry_n of_o his_o word_n dispense_v by_o mr._n knight_n at_o the_o chapel_n at_o hammersmith_n put_v i_o upon_o the_o serious_a thought_n of_o that_o scripture_n in_o jer._n 3._o 1_o 4_o 12_o 13_o 14_o 15_o 19_o vers_fw-la which_o at_o that_o time_n take_v much_o upon_o my_o heart_n in_o this_o particular_a have_v no_o power_n to_o gainsay_v the_o duty_n require_v in_o it_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v by_o the_o ministry_n of_o his_o word_n dispense_v by_o mr._n knight_n and_o sometime_o some_o other_o to_o come_v in_o further_o carry_v on_o this_o work_n that_o he_o have_v thus_o begin_v in_o my_o soul_n enable_v i_o daily_o more_o and_o more_o to_o grow_v up_o towards_o a_o more_o full_a assurance_n and_o confident_a roll_v upon_o and_o give_v up_o my_o whole_a soul_n to_o jesus_n christ_n give_v i_o bodily_a to_o see_v more_o and_o more_o my_o own_o emptiness_n &_o nothingness_n &_o the_o conrinual_a need_n i_o stand_v in_o of_o he_o without_o who_o i_o now_o see_v that_o i_o be_v nothing_o have_v nothing_o and_o can_v have_v nothing_o but_o only_a sin_n as_o also_o that_o fullness_n that_o be_v in_o he_o together_o with_o a_o readiness_n to_o give_v forth_o and_o communicate_v out_o of_o it_o to_o poor_a creature_n who_o see_v the_o need_n they_o have_v of_o it_o and_o come_v to_o he_o for_o it_o which_o i_o now_o desire_v above_o all_o thing_n strength_n to_o do_v and_o that_o i_o may_v go_v whole_o out_o of_o myself_o and_o come_v to_o he_o for_o life_n then_o hear_v that_o mr._n knight_n and_o some_o few_o christian_n more_o be_v about_o gather_v into_o a_o communion_n together_o i_o be_v much_o rejoice_v in_o spirit_n at_o it_o suppose_v that_o happy_o the_o lord_n may_v please_v to_o make_v it_o a_o mercy_n to_o i_o if_o i_o can_v but_o see_v he_o clear_v up_o my_o way_n and_o open_v a_o door_n for_o i_o to_o join_v with_o they_o which_o work_n seem_v for_o a_o time_n to_o go_v on_o in_o their_o desire_n and_o intention_n yet_o there_o be_v much_o fear_n arise_v in_o my_o spirit_n concern_v it_o how_o i_o shall_v be_v enable_v to_o make_v out_o my_o condition_n so_o as_o that_o i_o may_v be_v approve_v of_o be_v full_a of_o ebbing_n and_o flow_n sometime_o hope_v a_o little_a and_o sometime_o again_o full_a of_o fear_n thus_o be_v at_o a_o great_a stand_n in_o myself_o not_o know_v what_o to_o do_v but_o often_o seek_v the_o lord_n concern_v it_o who_o be_v please_v at_o last_o to_o enable_v i_o to_o take_v up_o this_o resolution_n that_o through_o his_o grace_n assist_v of_o i_o i_o will_v put_v it_o upon_o the_o trial_n rely_v upon_o he_o to_o enable_v i_o to_o make_v out_o what_o himself_o have_v wrought_v in_o my_o soul_n though_o in_o much_o weakness_n yet_o i_o hope_v in_o truth_n and_o this_o i_o be_v the_o more_o willing_a unto_o that_o scripture_n or_o rule_n of_o the_o apostle_n be_v then_o much_o set_v upon_o the_o heart_n in_o the_o 1_o pet._n 3._o 15._o be_v ready_a always_o to_o give_v a_o answer_n to_o every_o man_n that_o ask_v you_o a_o reason_n of_o the_o hope_n that_o be_v in_o you_o with_o meekness_n and_o fear_n and_o though_o i_o be_v very_o sensible_a of_o my_o own_o disability_n hereunto_o yet_o rather_o than_o to_o deprive_v myself_o of_o such_o a_o benefit_n i_o be_v enable_v in_o some_o measure_n to_o submit_v yet_o not_o without_o many_o fear_n and_o that_o strong_a one_o too_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v accept_v of_o the_o lord_n now_o enable_v i_o to_o take_v up_o these_o thought_n that_o i_o will_v through_o his_o assistance_n do_v my_o duty_n and_o offer_v myself_o and_o if_o the_o lord_n shall_v so_o order_v the_o spirit_n of_o his_o people_n to_o deny_v i_o i_o do_v desire_v to_o see_v his_o mind_n and_o to_o expect_v strength_n from_o he_o to_o submit_v to_o his_o will_n manite_v through_o it_o acknowledge_v it_o no_o more_o nor_o so_o much_o as_o i_o have_v deserve_v consider_v with_o all_o that_o my_o desire_n be_v chief_o and_o in_o the_o first_o place_n to_o approve_v myself_o to_o the_o lord_n and_o if_o he_o see_v it_o good_a to_o his_o people_n also_o but_o if_o otherwise_o my_o desire_n be_v though_o i_o know_v not_o how_o i_o shall_v be_v enable_v to_o do_v it_o yet_o however_o to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n and_o follow_v he_o still_o until_o he_o shall_v see_v good_a to_o make_v out_o a_o way_n for_o i_o then_o be_v there_o a_o day_n keep_v to_o seek_v the_o lord_n on_o the_o behalf_n of_o mrs._n arnal_a which_o by_o providence_n i_o hear_v of_o and_o have_v a_o desire_n to_o be_v at_o which_o according_o i_o do_v at_o which_o time_n my_o spirit_n be_v much_o stir_v up_o to_o crave_v the_o prayer_n of_o the_o people_n of_o god_n that_o
to_o enable_v he_o to_o make_v out_o yet_o more_o clear_o that_o work_n that_o he_o have_v wrought_v in_o his_o soul_n if_o indeed_o there_o be_v any_o or_o else_o give_v we_o such_o a_o discern_a spirit_n as_o may_v teach_v we_o what_o to_o do_v in_o it_o that_o if_o it_o be_v his_o will_n there_o may_v no_o soul_n come_v in_o among_o we_o that_o may_v any_o way_n darken_v his_o glory_n but_o that_o those_o that_o be_v receive_v may_v be_v such_o as_o himself_o by_o his_o spirit_n shall_v receive_v nor_o none_o be_v detain_v but_o such_o as_o himself_o shall_v by_o his_o spirit_n through_o his_o poor_a servant_n detain_v as_o also_o beg_v of_o the_o lord_n and_o that_o with_o much_o earnestness_n that_o if_o there_o be_v no_o real_a work_n of_o he_o upon_o his_o heart_n that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o find_v out_o some_o way_n or_o other_o in_o his_o wisdom_n to_o keep_v he_o off_o april_n 24._o 1653._o be_v the_o lord_n please_v gracious_o to_o convince_v i_o yet_o further_o of_o my_o sinful_a passion_n and_o aptness_n to_o be_v angry_a either_o without_o a_o cause_n or_o upon_o a_o light_a ground_n and_o so_o to_o dishonour_v the_o lord_n which_o conviction_n be_v set_v home_o from_o mr._n knight_n expression_n of_o mat._n 5._o 22._o i_o say_v if_o you_o be_v angry_a with_o your_o brother_n without_o a_o cause_n you_o shall_v be_v in_o danger_n of_o judgement_n and_o whosoever_o say_v to_o his_o brother_n racha_n which_o word_n express_v their_o contemn_v of_o their_o brethren_n that_o be_v to_o have_v contemptible_a thought_n of_o they_o this_o be_v a_o great_a evil_n for_o this_o be_v in_o danger_n of_o the_o council_n but_o whosoever_o shall_v say_v thou_o fool_n that_o be_v one_o that_o have_v no_o understanding_n but_o be_v even_o as_o a_o beast_n this_o be_v in_o christ_n judgement_n a_o heinous_a sin_n for_o say_v he_o he_o shall_v be_v in_o danger_n of_o hell_n fire_n from_o all_o which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o set_v it_o home_o upon_o my_o heart_n that_o i_o have_v be_v exceed_o guilty_a even_o to_o this_o day_n in_o a_o great_a measure_n of_o those_o evil_n which_o conviction_n i_o desire_v may_v abide_v upon_o my_o heart_n to_o make_v i_o through_o the_o strength_n of_o christ_n more_o watchful_a over_o my_o own_o heart_n in_o this_o respect_n than_o ever_o i_o have_v be_v there_o be_v one_o conviction_n more_o this_o day_n set_v upon_o my_o heart_n from_o these_o word_n if_o thou_o remember_v thy_o brother_n have_v aught_o against_o thou_o he_o do_v not_o say_v if_o thou_o have_v aught_o against_o he_o but_o if_o he_o have_v aught_o against_o thou_o do_v thou_o seek_v reconciliation_n yea_o leave_v not_o till_o it_o be_v wrought_v out_o from_o which_o the_o lord_n not_o only_o convince_v i_o of_o this_o my_o duty_n and_o tell_v i_o i_o shall_v not_o suffer_v any_o prejudice_n to_o lie_v in_o my_o heart_n against_o any_o but_o also_o much_o comfort_v my_o heart_n under_o the_o sight_n of_o this_o as_o that_o which_o through_o grace_n i_o find_v the_o lord_n have_v real_o wrought_v in_o my_o heart_n and_o enable_v i_o daily_o to_o practice_v the_o same_o day_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o the_o ministry_n of_o his_o word_n to_o convince_v my_o soul_n that_o it_o be_v not_o the_o performance_n of_o duty_n at_o set_a time_n this_o be_v not_o all_o require_v but_o when_o the_o soul_n be_v indeed_o pain_a under_o the_o sense_n of_o its_o want_n of_o inlargedness_n to_o christ_n and_o the_o like_a that_o it_o cry_v out_o as_o the_o infant_n after_o the_o breast_n &_o be_v not_o satisfy_v with_o any_o thing_n without_o it_o but_o the_o soul_n pant_v within_o itself_o and_o want_v some_o manifestation_n of_o christ_n and_o this_o put_v upon_o duty_n from_o which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o convince_v my_o soul_n that_o i_o have_v be_v sad_o guilty_a of_o the_o misperformance_n of_o duty_n in_o this_o respect_n many_o time_n which_o put_v my_o soul_n upon_o a_o search_n into_o itself_o whether_o i_o be_v not_o guilty_a in_o this_o respect_n after_o which_o i_o find_v i_o have_v be_v often_o guilty_a of_o the_o misperformance_n of_o duty_n do_v they_o many_o time_n especial_o heretofore_o without_o this_o strong_a pant_a and_o sense_n of_o my_o want_n april_n 27._o oh_o my_o soul_n be_v thou_o not_o able_a to_o say_v through_o grace_n before_o the_o lord_n the_o searcher_n of_o heart_n that_o there_o be_v hardly_o that_o word_n come_v out_o of_o thy_o mouth_n or_o that_o action_n do_v by_o thou_o in_o any_o place_n or_o company_n that_o pass_v by_o thou_o without_o a_o reveiw_n judge_v and_o condemn_v thyself_o for_o they_o the_o beginning_n of_o may_n though_o i_o can_v find_v little_a fruit_n or_o growth_n in_o my_o soul_n the_o sight_n and_o sense_n of_o the_o work_n of_o god_n upon_o my_o soul_n be_v as_o it_o be_v draw_v over_o with_o a_o cloud_n yet_o even_o then_o oh_o my_o soul_n have_v not_o the_o lord_n much_o refresh_v thou_o by_o enable_v thou_o in_o some_o measure_n to_o roll_n upon_o that_o gracious_a word_n which_o have_v be_v at_o seasonable_a time_n bring_v to_o thy_o view_n that_o in_o hos_n 4._o 8._o i_o be_o as_o a_o green_a firr-tree_n in_o i_o be_v thy_o fruit_n find_v now_o this_o tree_n be_v always_o green_a do_v not_o the_o lord_n sometime_o disappoint_v the_o expectation_n oh_o my_o soul_n even_o of_o the_o sensible_a enjoyment_n of_o his_o own_o presence_n in_o a_o duty_n or_o ordinance_n or_o society_n that_o he_o may_v the_o more_o sweeten_v it_o to_o thou_o when_o he_o be_v please_v to_o appear_v and_o the_o more_o to_o draw_v thou_o out_o to_o seek_v his_o appearance_n and_o to_o cry_v mighty_o after_o he_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o shall_v thou_o say_v thou_o can_v not_o find_v love_n to_o god_n when_o thou_o do_v so_o frequent_o and_o restles_o desire_v the_o presence_n and_o appearance_n of_o god_n in_o every_o ordinance_n and_o duty_n if_o it_o be_v not_o for_o his_o own_o sake_n why_o do_v not_o my_o soul_n sit_v down_o and_o rest_v content_v with_o the_o ordinance_n themselves_o two_o paper_n be_v give_v to_o mr._n knight_n to_o present_v before_o the_o lord_n at_o a_o private_a fast_o at_o fulham_n chapel_n in_o the_o behalf_n of_o the_o nation_n may_v 4_o 1653._o 1_o one_o who_o continual_o groan_v before_o the_o lord_n under_o the_o sense_n of_o the_o body_n of_o death_n and_o the_o continual_a issue_v of_o it_o out_o in_o the_o whole_a course_n of_o their_o conversation_n to_o the_o dishonour_n of_o that_o god_n that_o deserve_v for_o ever_o even_o by_o their_o soul_n to_o be_v admire_v and_o praise_v be_v a_o god_n that_o delight_v in_o mercy_n and_o in_o the_o manifestation_n of_o it_o to_o their_o poor_a soul_n notwithstanding_o all_o their_o rebellion_n against_o he_o the_o desire_n therefore_o of_o their_o soul_n be_v that_o you_o who_o love_n and_o feat_n the_o lord_n will_v improve_v your_o interest_n in_o he_o in_o their_o behalf_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v once_o be_v please_v to_o give_v they_o more_o power_n over_o all_o their_o corruption_n that_o however_o he_o see_v meet_v to_o deal_v with_o their_o body_n though_o he_o wound_n yet_o it_o be_v he_o that_o heal_v though_o he_o lay_v sickness_n weakness_n distemper_n whatever_o he_o please_v upon_o they_o that_o yet_o he_o will_v please_v to_o give_v they_o more_o strength_n in_o their_o inward_a man_n to_o subdue_v and_o mortify_v their_o corruption_n and_o resist_v all_o the_o fiery_a dart_n of_o satan_n enable_v they_o to_o walk_v with_o a_o holy_a awe_n and_o fear_v of_o his_o bless_a self_n in_o the_o whole_a course_n of_o their_o conversation_n in_o all_o their_o relation_n and_o under_o the_o dispensation_n of_o god_n to_o they_o that_o so_o if_o the_o lord_n please_v they_o may_v never_o prove_v by_o their_o uneven_a conversation_n any_o blot_n or_o blemish_n to_o the_o glorious_a gospel_n of_o god_n and_o their_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n the_o thought_n whereof_o be_v if_o their_o heart_n deceive_v they_o not_o more_o bitter_a than_o death_n 2_o one_o who_o earnest_o desire_v that_o those_o who_o fear_v the_o lord_n will_v wrestle_v mighty_o with_o he_o in_o the_o behalf_n of_o some_o poor_a dead_a dark_a soul_n who_o be_v near_o relate_v to_o they_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v once_o be_v please_v to_o speak_v so_o effectual_o to_o their_o heart_n that_o they_o may_v be_v cause_v to_o stand_v up_o on_o their_o foot_n and_o jesus_n christ_n may_v give_v they_o life_n that_o see_v he_o have_v say_v the_o dead_a shall_v hear_v the_o voice_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o hear_v live_v that_o this_o bless_a word_n may_v be_v make_v good_a to_o their_o soul_n that_o so_o they_o