have_v no_o worldly_a affair_n unsettle_a to_o disturb_v and_o distract_v my_o mind_n withal_o when_o upon_o the_o very_a confine_n of_o another_o world_n and_o lie_v upon_o a_o sickbed_n or_o deathbed_n when_o i_o desire_v god_n may_v have_v all_o my_o thought_n and_o all_o my_o time_n and_o will_v fain_o be_v most_o serious_a and_o intent_n upon_o soul-concerns_a this_o little_a treatise_n in_o three_o part_n contain_v the_o most_o remarkable_a passage_n of_o my_o life_n that_o occur_v to_o memory_n and_o collect_v out_o of_o my_o diary_n write_v in_o shorthand_n as_o a_o last_o legacy_n i_o hearty_o commend_v to_o thy_o perusal_n and_o other_o friend_n that_o survive_v i_o in_o it_o i_o have_v endeavour_v impartial_o to_o god_n glory_n to_o give_v the_o dark_a side_n of_o a_o vile_a wretch_n on_o earth_n as_o well_o as_o the_o bright_a i_o be_v long_o thou_o see_v a_o wanderer_n from_o god_n and_o in_o a_o most_o bewilder_v condition_n on_o that_o account_n i_o know_v not_o where_o to_o rest_v till_o i_o anchor_v on_o the_o rock_n of_o age_n have_v no_o true_a peace_n till_o through_o mercy_n i_o close_v with_o christ_n the_o prince_n of_o peace_n conscience_n then_o often_o speak_v when_o it_o be_v not_o hear_v and_o fly_v in_o my_o face_n when_o my_o study_n too_o much_o be_v to_o check_v stifle_v and_o hush_v it_o i_o be_v then_o a_o terror_n to_o myself_o and_o perhaps_o to_o other_o about_o i_o especial_o observe_v christian_n friend_n who_o fain_o will_v but_o then_o can_v not_o prevail_v with_o i_o to_o be_v serious_a strict_a and_o good_a i_o be_v too_o long_o god_n know_v in_o the_o gall_n of_o bitterness_n and_o in_o the_o bond_n of_o iniquity_n and_o o_o what_o rich_a mercy_n be_v it_o i_o be_v not_o then_o take_v from_o earth_n and_o throw_v into_o hell_n that_o through_o grace_n i_o do_v outlive_v the_o year_n of_o a_o loose_a carnal_a fresh_o and_o unregenerate_a state_n o_o my_o dear_a i_o can_v express_v the_o sorrow_n the_o terror_n the_o 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over_o and_o inspection_n into_o the_o behaviour_n and_o conversation_n of_o those_o i_o be_v sometime_n entrust_v as_o guardian_n for_o jog_v and_o quicken_v loiterer_n heavenward_n mind_v they_o of_o their_o education_n counsel_n and_o instruction_n and_o how_o hopeful_a their_o beginning_n be_v and_o especial_o regard_v our_o child_n and_o dear_a niece_n brain_n 8._o be_v much_o in_o read_v and_o study_v good_a book_n these_o i_o commend_v to_o thou_o especial_o viz._n the_o holy_a bible_n with_o pool_n annotation_n swinnock'_v one_o cast_v for_o eternity_n barrett_n christian_n temper_n heywood_n heart-treasure_n reyner_n precept_n dunton_n heavenly_a pastime_n case_n god_n wait_v to_o be_v gracious_a flavel_n fountain_n of_o life_n bolton_n toss_v ship_n r._n allen_n rebuke_v to_o backsliders_a janeway_n heaven_n upon_o earth_n swinnock'_v regeneration_n love_n on_o heaven_n glory_n etc._n etc._n flavel_n saint_n indeed_o steel_n of_o uprightness_n calamy_n godly_a man_n ark_n hooker_n doubt_v soul_n etc._n etc._n hardcastle_n christian_n geography_n watson_n on_o contentment_n mede'_v almost_o christian_n doolittle_n on_o the_o sacrament_n his_o call_n to_o delay_v sinner_n most_o of_o bunyan_n work_n very_o useful_a if_o read_v without_o prejudice_n these_o book_n among_o other_o i_o have_v have_v much_o refreshment_n from_o and_o hearty_o commend_v they_o to_o thou_o 9_o do_v all_o thou_o do_v either_o in_o religious_a or_o civil_a action_n with_o a_o eye_n at_o eternity_n thus_o pray_v and_o hear_v and_o read_v and_o meditate_v and_o converse_v and_o engage_v in_o all_o secular_a affair_n and_o discharge_v all_o relative_a duty_n with_o a_o eye_n at_o eternity_n and_o this_o will_v help_v to_o make_v thou_o very_o serious_a and_o strict_a 10._o spend_v thy_o weekday_n well_o in_o the_o discharge_n of_o duty_n public_a and_o private_a keep_v a_o exact_a diary_n of_o any_o sinful_a miscarriage_n and_o be_v humble_v every_o evening_n for_o they_o take_v notice_n of_o god_n mercy_n every_o day_n and_o labour_n to_o have_v thy_o heart_n suitable_o affect_v with_o the_o lord_n goodness_n observe_v and_o pen_v down_o god_n deal_n with_o thou_o and_o thy_o carriage_n and_o behaviour_n towards_o god_n this_o the_o lord_n have_v enable_v i_o to_o practice_v with_o good_a success_n 11._o esteem_v of_o sabhath-day_n as_o the_o best_a of_o day_n these_o be_v the_o market-day_n of_o thy_o soul_n make_v good_a provision_n on_o they_o for_o it_o hear_v the_o word_n meditate_v on_o it_o digest_v and_o practice_v it_o neglect_v no_o duty_n of_o the_o day_n in_o private_a but_o most_o high_o value_v public-assembly_n god_n be_v by_o they_o most_o honour_v 12._o redeem_v time_n i_o can_v from_o my_o own_o experience_n tell_v thou_o a_o review_n in_o
in_o the_o evening_n of_o it_o take_v one_o or_o other_o of_o we_o to_o walk_v with_o he_o in_o the_o garden_n where_o he_o will_v always_o commune_v with_o we_o of_o heavenly_a matter_n will_v inquire_v into_o our_o proficiency_n by_o the_o mean_n of_o that_o day_n will_v try_v our_o knowledge_n in_o spiritual_a thing_n and_o as_o careful_o instruct_v we_o where_o he_o find_v ignorance_n prevail_v but_o above_o all_o which_o i_o must_v never_o forget_v he_o have_v so_o awake_o and_o pathetical_o discourse_v to_o we_o about_o the_o joy_n of_o heaven_n and_o the_o happiness_n of_o soul_n be_v arrive_v there_o that_o i_o can_v say_v i_o have_v even_o long_v at_o such_o a_o time_n to_o he_o out_o of_o the_o body_n and_o to_o be_v with_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v fill_v with_o hunger_a desire_n to_o forsake_v the_o world_n husk_n and_o to_o taste_v those_o dainty_n of_o my_o father_n house_n which_o indeed_o my_o brother_n do_v most_o lively_a and_o sweet_o represent_v to_o we_o i_o well_o remember_v i_o have_v then_o be_v ready_a with_o paul_n to_o desire_v to_o be_v dissolve_v and_o to_o be_v with_o christ_n at_o other_o time_n he_o will_v in_o so_o sweet_a yet_o startle_v manner_n discourse_n to_o we_o about_o the_o pain_n of_o hell_n and_o the_o eternal_a misery_n of_o damn_a soul_n will_v so_o lively_o set_v forth_o sin_n in_o its_o black_a and_o bloody_a colour_n as_o that_o which_o bring_v soul_n to_o that_o place_n of_o horrid_a darkness_n that_o i_o and_o i_o believe_v other_o of_o my_o brother_n and_o sister_n be_v sufficient_o startle_v and_o fright_v for_o that_o time_n it_o make_v i_o whilst_o the_o thought_n be_v afresh_o upon_o i_o much_o afraid_a of_o sin_n my_o main_a reason_n alas_o be_v then_o only_o as_o i_o well_o remember_v that_o i_o may_v escape_v those_o dreadful_a misery_n he_o have_v represent_v to_o we_o i_o can_v say_v to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n that_o through_o his_o blessing_n upon_o my_o brother_n discourse_n i_o have_v have_v good_a 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every_o morning_n which_o i_o do_v for_o several_a day_n and_o through_o the_o blessing_n of_o god_n most_o successful_o unhappy_a difference_n when_o my_o brother_n be_v grow_v a_o man_n do_v too_o frequent_o fall_v out_o betwixt_o my_o father_n and_o he_o which_o do_v arise_v sometime_o a_o considerable_a height_n some_o think_v my_o father_n too_o strict_a with_o he_o in_o his_o year_n of_o manhood_n and_o other_o think_v he_o abundance_n too_o stubborn_a and_o rebellious_a in_o his_o carriage_n towards_o my_o father_n but_o further_a mention_n of_o this_o matter_n will_v not_o become_v my_o pen._n those_o difference_n reduce_v my_o brother_n to_o great_a strait_o and_o i_o hearty_o blame_v myself_o who_o too_o often_o occasion_v the_o quarrel_n for_o want_v of_o brotherly_a compassion_n and_o tenderness_n towards_o he_o when_o in_o distress_n and_o i_o myself_o though_o a_o child_n in_o some_o capacity_n at_o london_n to_o do_v it_o the_o lord_n forgive_v i_o my_o brother_n john_n die_v at_o about_o the_o john_n age_n of_o 16_o year_n at_o swinderby_n of_o a_o deep_a consumption_n and_o though_o i_o have_v for_o some_o year_n before_o be_v a_o apprentice_n in_o london_n have_v not_o the_o advantage_n of_o intimate_a acquaintance_n with_o he_o nor_o therefore_o of_o make_v remark_n upon_o he_o for_o some_o year_n before_o his_o death_n yet_o this_o i_o be_v certain_o assure_v of_o by_o those_o who_o know_v he_o best_o that_o he_o live_v a_o very_a blameless_a and_o unspotted_a life_n and_o die_v a_o most_o comfortable_a and_o happy_a death_n resign_v his_o soul_n into_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n his_o faithful_a creator_n and_o leave_v a_o vain_a world_n with_o joy_n and_o comfort_n my_o sister_n elizabeth_n mary_n and_o dorcas_n darcas_n be_v all_o person_n that_o have_v the_o fear_n of_o god_n before_o their_o eye_n be_v exemplary_a in_o holiness_n and_o true_o serious_a and_o gracious_a they_o be_v usual_o under_o the_o eye_n care_n and_o conduct_v of_o our_o 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to_o a_o relation_n grow_v loose_a in_o conversation_n dear_a cousin_n the_o content_n of_o this_o may_v seem_v strange_a to_o you_o especial_o as_o come_v from_o one_o so_o unfit_a and_o unable_a to_o be_v your_o monitor_n yet_o when_o i_o tell_v you_o it_o be_v out_o of_o a_o sincere_a love_n to_o your_o precious_a soul_n and_o a_o hearty_a desire_n of_o your_o welldoing_a i_o doubt_v not_o but_o in_o kindness_n it_o will_v be_v receive_v as_o indeed_o it_o be_v intend_v not_o only_o the_o relation_n between_o we_o but_o the_o rule_n of_o christianity_n will_v oblige_v we_o to_o watch_v over_o one_o another_o and_o true_o cousin_n i_o be_o satisfy_v that_o religion_n never_o receive_v a_o great_a wound_n than_o by_o the_o miscarriage_n of_o professor_n stain_n in_o they_o will_v prove_v more_o mischievous_a than_o the_o spot_n of_o a_o licentious_a age._n o_o cousin_n the_o eye_n of_o the_o world_n be_v upon_o you_o nay_o god_n eye_n be_v upon_o you_o to_o who_o you_o and_o all_o 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of_o death_n if_o we_o live_v after_o the_o flesh_n we_o shall_v die_v but_o if_o we_o through_o the_o spirit_n do_v mortify_v the_o deed_n of_o the_o body_n we_o shall_v live_v i_o hope_v you_o and_o i_o have_v so_o learned_a christ_n as_o to_o know_v that_o the_o way_n of_o carnal_a liberty_n and_o looseness_n the_o way_n of_o evil_a company_n and_o fleshliness_n be_v not_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n i_o be_o not_o for_o tie_v up_o salvation_n to_o this_o or_o that_o opinion_n for_o let_v man_n be_v of_o what_o opinion_n they_o will_v sure_o without_o strictness_n self-denial_n and_o holiness_n they_o can_v be_v save_v mat._n 16._o 42._o mat._n 11._o 12._o 1_o pet._n 1._o 15_o 16._o o_o then_o with_o holy_a david_n labour_v to_o be_v only_o a_o companion_n of_o those_o that_o fear_v the_o lord_n for_o god_n have_v say_v the_o companion_n of_o fool_n shall_v be_v destroy_v prov._n 13._o 20._o and_o who_o great_a fool_n than_o impenitent_a sinner_n you_o in_o christ_n g._n d._n a_o letter_n to_o my_o dear_a friend_n mr._n whitaker_n sir_n i_o receive_v you_o by_o our_o neighbour_n by_o who_o conveyance_n i_o hope_v this_o may_v arrive_v your_o hand_n i_o return_v you_o hearty_a thanks_o for_o your_o good_a society_n whilst_o with_o we_o for_o which_o i_o be_o abundant_o oblige_v to_o you_o not_o you_o to_o i_o i_o shall_v be_v very_o glad_a to_o see_v you_o again_o with_o good_a mrs._n whitaker_n with_o you_o when_o your_o conveniency_n and_o more_o setled-time_n will_v encourage_v for_o true_o at_o present_a it_o be_v a_o dark_a and_o gloomy_a day_n with_o we_o but_o light_n be_v sow_v for_o the_o righteous_a and_o gladness_n for_o the_o upright_a in_o heart_n psal_n 97._o 11._o our_o minister_n night_n and_o day_n be_v so_o strict_o watch_v for_o that_o they_o come_v not_o at_o all_o among_o we_o many_o have_v here_o suffer_v very_o much_o some_o one_o way_n some_o another_o but_o yet_o true_o god_n be_v good_a to_o israel_n and_o to_o they_o of_o a_o upright_a heart_n his_o way_n be_v certain_o the_o best_a way_n however_o at_o present_a attended_z with_o trouble_v and_o difficulty_n be_v it_o with_o we_o as_o man_n and_o devil_n will_v have_v it_o it_o will_v be_v much_o worse_o but_o they_o be_v under_o the_o lord_n restraint_n who_o triumph_n over_o we_o your_o kind_n and_o christian_a line_n be_v no_o less_o seasonable_a than_o welcome_a at_o this_o juncture_n when_o poor_a i_o find_v all_o help_v little_a enough_o to_o keep_v i_o unmoved_a in_o such_o shake_a day_n as_o we_o and_o to_o prevent_v murmur_n fretting_n and_o repine_n at_o the_o prosperity_n of_o the_o wicked_a dear_a sir_n pray_v that_o my_o faith_n fail_v not_o the_o lord_n establish_v our_o heart_n and_o mind_n with_o grace_n and_o enable_v we_o at_o what_o time_n we_o be_v afraid_a with_o holy_a david_n to_o trust_v in_o he_o and_o with_o jehoshaphat_n under_o all_o discouragement_n whatsoever_o to_o encourage_v ourselves_o in_o the_o lord_n our_o god_n i_o do_v believe_v god_n will_v issue_v thing_n well_o and_o bring_v order_n out_o of_o all_o confusion_n and_o light_n out_o of_o darkness_n and_o good_a out_o of_o all_o evil_a that_o be_v before_o we_o it_o will_v be_v thus_o in_o his_o time_n if_o not_o in_o we_o his_o will_v be_v do_v you_o etc._n etc._n g._n d._n to_o mrs._n mary_n lavet_fw-la after_o her_o marriage_n decemb._n 85._o dear_a madam_n i_o hope_v when_o all_o thing_n be_v consider_v you_o will_v not_o see_v much_o cause_n to_o blame_v i_o that_o i_o have_v not_o before_o now_o welcome_v and_o congratulate_v your_o arrival_n into_o our_o condition_n till_o your_o letter_n to_o my_o wife_n come_v which_o some_o way_n strange_o halt_v in_o its_o voyage_n i_o know_v not_o otherways_o than_o by_o common_a fame_n which_o of_o late_o have_v prove_v too_o false_a to_o trust_v whether_o to_o call_v you_o by_o first_o or_o second_o name_n however_o now_o madam_n i_o wish_v you_o much_o joy_n in_o the_o change_n of_o it_o send_v a_o thousand_o good_a wish_n after_o you_o and_o hearty_o beg_v what_o i_o be_o sure_a you_o desire_v that_o this_o change_n of_o your_o condition_n may_v be_v to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n the_o advantage_n of_o your_o soul_n and_o the_o mutual_a comfort_n and_o satisfaction_n one_o of_o another_o i_o need_v not_o acquaint_v you_o who_o be_v better_a able_a to_o be_v my_o monitor_n that_o the_o new_a condition_n the_o lord_n have_v bring_v you_o into_o call_v for_o new_a duty_n and_o may_v be_v accompany_v with_o new_a trial_n the_o lord_n â—it_n you_o and_o your_o dear_a yokefellow_n good_a mr._n lavet_fw-la for_o all_o and_o crown_v your_o change_n with_o many_o blessing_n both_o temporal_a spiritual_a and_o eternal_a i_o hope_v madam_n you_o will_v believe_v though_o when_o last_o in_o the_o country_n you_o will_v not_o make_v trial_n that_o my_o house_n be_v as_o much_o your_o home_n as_o ever_o and_o glad_a we_o shall_v be_v at_o any_o time_n to_o enjoy_v such_o guest_n my_o dear_a wife_n beg_v your_o pardon_n for_o not_o answer_v your_o kind_a letter_n for_o which_o she_o thank_v you_o and_o hope_n those_o hurry_v circumstance_n we_o be_v about_o that_o time_n under_o may_v excuse_v the_o neglect_n the_o lord_n â—it_n we_o for_o his_o pleasure_n support_v we_o in_o a_o time_n of_o trial_n enable_v we_o to_o maintain_v our_o integrity_n and_o keep_v our_o stand_v in_o christianity_n whatever_o come_v and_o prevent_v our_o decline_a and_o decay_v in_o the_o good_a way_n of_o god_n be_v the_o earnest_n and_o hearty_a prayer_n of_o he_o who_o need_v and_o beg_v you_o and_o o_o that_o we_o and_o all_o that_o wish_v well_o to_o zion_n may_v pray_v hard_a for_o the_o peace_n and_o prosperity_n of_o jerusalem_n for_o they_o shall_v
there_o be_v a_o conventicle_n that_o night_n there_o be_v so_o many_o dissenter_n about_o the_o fire_n how_o reproachful_o so_o ever_o these_o may_v speak_v i_o believe_v mr._n mayor_n than_o parker_n at_o hencross_n be_v more_o serious_a when_o he_o tell_v i_o the_o town_n of_o nottingham_n be_v much_o behold_v to_o our_o conventicle_n for_o the_o timely_a stop_n of_o those_o flame_n 12._o the_o 3d_o of_o december_n 1685._o this_o night_n through_o extraordinary_a drowsiness_n at_o family-prayer_n i_o sleep_v 2_o or_o 3_o time_n and_o awake_v again_o do_v not_o use_v the_o best_a mean_n i_o can_v and_o shall_v of_o stand_v up_o to_o prevent_v the_o drowsiness_n i_o hope_v may_v go_v off_o without_o it_o upon_o which_o be_v drop_v again_o asleep_a to_o my_o apprehension_n something_o give_v i_o a_o great_a blow_n upon_o the_o middle_a of_o my_o back_n which_o present_o awake_v i_o in_o a_o fright_a which_o i_o do_v real_o feel_v pain_n i_o some_o minute_n after_o i_o be_v awaken_v i_o have_v purpose_v upon_o it_o and_o hope_v through_o grace_n to_o perform_v it_o to_o be_v always_o more_o watchful_a for_o the_o future_a against_o such_o a_o sin_n this_o bring_v to_o my_o mind_n another_o providence_n of_o like_a nature_n my_o elder_a brother_n be_v to_o repeat_v a_o lecture-sermon_n one_o night_n in_o my_o father_n family_n i_o be_v then_o very_o young_a and_o not_o like_v that_o work_n cry_v to_o go_v to_o bed_n and_o to_o have_v my_o brother_n with_o i_o in_o which_o after_o some_o repulse_n i_o be_v gratify_v in_o my_o desire_n to_o our_o chamber_n we_o go_v and_o into_o bed_n i_o get_v but_o before_o i_o can_v drop_v asleep_a i_o feel_v the_o bottom_n of_o the_o bedclothe_n lift_v up_o where_o present_o something_o pull_v i_o by_o the_o toe_n but_o nothing_o there_o be_v to_o be_v see_v this_o affright_a i_o exceed_o and_o though_o young_a i_o can_v conclude_v it_o a_o rebuke_n to_o i_o for_o hinder_v that_o pious_a exercise_n of_o repetition_n and_o dare_v never_o do_v it_o after_o some_o good_a say_n of_o good_a man_n i_o find_v collect_v in_o my_o diary_n out_o of_o sermon_n i_o have_v hear_v viz._n 1._o there_o be_v few_o if_o any_o who_o joy_n in_o a_o comfortable_a communion_n with_o god_n be_v not_o sometime_o cloud_v with_o sorrow_n 2._o where_o the_o minister_n work_n end_v there_o the_o hearer_n begin_v 3._o it_o show_v but_o little_a love_n to_o god_n in_o duty_n when_o we_o come_v with_o unwillingness_n stay_v with_o weariness_n and_o go_v away_o with_o gladness_n 4._o a_o man_n may_v be_v fat_a in_o gift_n yet_o lean_a in_o grace_n 5._o in_o the_o want_n of_o all_o thing_n we_o may_v taste_v and_o see_v how_o sweet_a the_o lord_n be_v 6._o it_o be_v comfortable_a music_n to_o hear_v the_o bird_n in_o the_o breast_n sing_v whatever_o we_o suffer_v for_o it_o 7._o that_o repentance_n be_v seldom_o true-hearted_a that_o be_v gray-headed_a 8._o let_v our_o thirst_n to_o worldly_a thing_n be_v cold_a to_o heavenly_a thing_n inflame_v 9_o it_o be_v easy_a for_o man_n to_o fly_v from_o duty_n but_o impossible_a to_o avoid_v their_o account_n 10._o accustom_v thyself_o to_o duty_n but_o do_v not_o duty_n customary_o 11._o entertain_v none_o in_o your_o house_n that_o shut_v god_n out_o of_o their_o heart_n 12._o associate_v not_o yourselves_o with_o those_o as_o friend_n that_o be_v god_n enemy_n 13._o they_o can_v be_v true_a to_o man_n that_o be_v false_a to_o god_n 14._o dare_v not_o to_o decline_v duty_n to_o preserve_v liberty_n 15._o let_v the_o present_a day_n be_v practice_n be_v still_o the_o mend_v of_o the_o past_a day_n be_v error_n 16._o i_o fear_v my_o duty_n more_o than_o my_o sin_n duty_n lift_v i_o up_o but_o my_o sin_n humble_v i_o 17._o it_o be_v well_o if_o rome_n relic_n among_o we_o do_v not_o keep_v possession_n for_o popery_n 18._o give_v not_o way_n to_o sleep_v any_o night_n till_o thou_o have_v particular_o inquire_v into_o thy_o carriage_n the_o day_n past_a 19_o family-passion_n cloud_n faith_n disturb_v duty_n and_o darken_v comfort_n 20._o he_o never_o want_v comfort_n that_o live_v content_a 21._o that_o man_n never_o want_v his_o own_o will_n that_o make_v god_n will_n his_o 22._o they_o need_v not_o drink_v of_o another_o bucket_n that_o have_v the_o fountain_n nor_o use_v stilt_n and_o crutch_n that_o have_v spiritual_a strength_n 23._o let_v parent_n and_o governor_n by_o their_o example_n endeavour_v to_o influence_n child_n and_o servant_n into_o a_o good_a practice_n 24._o sanctify_a trouble_n be_v token_n of_o special_a love_n 25._o if_o your_o house_n be_v not_o nursery_n for_o heaven_n they_o will_v be_v breed_v place_n for_o hell_n 26._o whatever_o evil_a we_o will_v reprove_v in_o another_o we_o must_v be_v double_o watchful_a against_o it_o ourselves_o 27._o early_o beginning_n in_o goodness_n make_v a_o easy_a deathbed_n 28._o put_v not_o that_o of_o to_o last_v that_o can_v be_v do_v too_o soon_o 29._o we_o have_v no_o more_o to_o live_v upon_o to_o eternity_n than_o what_o we_o lie_v up_o in_o time_n 30._o it_o be_v better_a to_o be_v reproach_v for_o be_v too_o soon_o than_o damn_v for_o be_v too_o late_o in_o heaven_n way_n 31._o good_a family_n make_v good_a church_n and_o good_a education_n good_a family_n 32._o the_o content_a man_n be_v never_o poor_a let_v he_o have_v never_o so_o little_a and_o the_o discontent_a man_n never_o rich_a let_v he_o have_v never_o so_o much_o 33._o there_o be_v two_o jubilee_n keep_v in_o heaven_n one_o at_o the_o conversion_n of_o a_o sinner_n on_o earth_n the_o other_o at_o his_o glorification_n in_o heaven_n 34._o bad_a time_n to_o live_v in_o be_v good_a time_n to_o die_v in_o 35._o affliction_n be_v hard_a meat_n but_o patience_n a_o good_a digester_n 36._o the_o best_a trial_n of_o our_o spiritual_a estate_n be_v by_o the_o tenure_n of_o our_o action_n not_o by_o this_o or_o that_o particular_a action_n 37._o though_o a_o sincere_a christian_a will_v not_o overtake_v a_o sin_n yet_o the_o most_o sincere_a may_v be_v overtake_v with_o a_o sin_n 38._o sad_n conclusion_n may_v be_v draw_v against_o eminent_a saint_n if_o some_o particular_a action_n be_v a_o rule_n to_o judge_v by_o 39_o it_o be_v good_a to_o be_v as_o charitable_a to_o other_o as_o ordinary_o we_o be_v partial_a to_o ourselves_o 40._o the_o best_a of_o saint_n will_v never_o arrive_v at_o assurance_n if_o it_o do_v not_o consist_v with_o many_o imperfection_n 41._o a_o sanctify_a cross_n have_v more_o of_o mercy_n in_o it_o than_o a_o unsanctified_a comfort_n 42._o the_o company_n a_o man_n keep_v be_v a_o commentary_n upon_o his_o life_n 43._o persecute_a godliness_n be_v far_o more_o eligible_a than_o prosperous_a profaneness_n 44._o it_o be_v the_o very_a nature_n of_o true_a faith_n to_o make_v future_a thing_n present_v 45._o it_o be_v very_o difficult_a for_o one_o to_o be_v angry_a and_o not_o sin_n and_o very_o dangerous_a to_o sin_n in_o be_v angry_a 46._o it_o be_v good_a scripture-logick_n to_o draw_v conclusion_n of_o confidence_n from_o premise_n of_o experience_n 47._o the_o poor_a in_o the_o world_n have_v more_o than_o he_o have_v when_o he_o come_v into_o the_o world_n and_o more_o than_o he_o can_v carry_v out_o when_o he_o leave_v the_o world_n 48._o duty_n rest_v in_o as_o well_o as_o sin_n unrepented_a of_o be_v dangerous_a 49._o if_o mercy_n be_v not_o a_o loadstone_n to_o draw_v we_o near_o to_o god_n it_o will_v be_v a_o millstone_n to_o sink_v we_o deep_o into_o hell_n 50._o it_o be_v sad_a to_o lose_v good_a man_n in_o the_o best_a time_n but_o look_v like_o a_o judgement_n to_o lose_v they_o in_o the_o worst_a the_o surviving_n advice_n of_o a_o decease_a husband_n to_o a_o survive_v wife_n or_o a_o call_v from_o the_o dead_a to_o the_o live_n write_a january_n the_o 30_o 168_o and_o intend_v for_o my_o dear_a wife_n perusal_n if_o it_o shall_v please_v the_o lord_n she_o survive_v me._n note_v this_o be_v write_v some_o time_n before_o the_o death_n of_o his_o former_a wife_n dear_a on_o earth_n i_o have_v of_o some_o late_a month_n be_v employ_v in_o set_v not_o only_o my_o heart_n which_o i_o account_v my_o great_a work_n but_o my_o house_n in_o order_n which_o i_o judge_v likewise_o absolute_o necessary_a in_o order_n to_o my_o great_a change_n i_o can_v not_o but_o leave_v a_o few_o line_n of_o advice_n to_o thou_o my_o best_a friend_n on_o earth_n which_o whilst_o i_o live_v i_o hope_v to_o follow_v with_o my_o prayer_n to_o the_o great_a god_n and_o our_o heavenly_a father_n for_o his_o blessing_n upon_o this_o i_o be_v the_o rather_o induce_v to_o do_v now_o when_o through_o mercy_n in_o perfect_a health_n that_o i_o may_v
i_o i_o be_o out_o of_o hell_n i_o be_o out_o of_o a_o prison_n i_o be_o not_o as_o late_o fly_v before_o pursue_v enemy_n nor_o absent_v myself_o for_o security_n from_o my_o own_o house_n i_o be_o not_o make_v a_o prey_n to_o enemy_n but_o the_o lord_n have_v deal_v bountiful_o with_o i_o what_o shall_v i_o render_v unto_o the_o lord_n some_o follow_a day_n after_o i_o take_v notice_n of_o sinful_a thought_n idle_a word_n unbecoming_a action_n and_o of_o the_o lord_n goodness_n in_o spare_v mercy_n nou._n 7._o 1685._o i_o bless_v god_n then_o for_o return_v i_o in_o safety_n from_o my_o yorkshire_n journey_n and_o that_o i_o see_v my_o friend_n with_o comfort_n and_o find_v all_o well_o at_o my_o return_n home_o then_o i_o petition_v the_o lord_n to_o continue_v enjoyment_n to_o i_o and_o i_o 8_o this_o god_n make_v a_o comfortable_a sabbath_n mr._n coat_n preach_v excellent_o from_o this_o text_n remember_v now_o thy_o creator_n etc._n etc._n the_o lord_n do_v i_o and_o all_o that_o hear_v he_o good_a by_o his_o blessing_n upon_o that_o ordinance_n and_o pardon_v sin_n the_o morning_n as_o soon_o as_o i_o awaken_v i_o be_v full_a of_o project_v carnal_a melancholy_a thought_n o_o sad_a thought_n for_o a_o sabbath-day_n god_n seal_v a_o pardon_n to_o i_o 10_o this_o evening_n be_v tuesday_n by_o 7_o of_o the_o clock_n i_o set_v apart_o some_o hour_n for_o humiliation_n that_o night_n with_o the_o help_n of_o mr._n b._n mr._n c._n etc._n etc._n and_o about_o half_a a_o hour_n after_o 12_o a_o clock_n i_o end_v in_o that_o work_n in_o my_o closet_n the_o sin_n i_o bewail_v particular_o be_v my_o not_o keep_v covenant_n and_o promise_n with_o my_o god_n passion_n with_o my_o wife_n pride_n slightness_n in_o duty_n especial_o closet-duty_n etc._n etc._n 15_o i_o enjoy_v a_o most_o comfortable_a sabbath_n by_o mr._n coats_n help_n who_o preach_v from_o these_o word_n remember_v now_o thy_o creator_n etc._n etc._n and_o this_o passage_n i_o take_v particular_a notice_n of_o that_o where_o youth_n have_v be_v devote_v to_o god_n review_v of_o it_o in_o old_a age_n when_o person_n be_v less_o capacitate_v for_o duty-frames_a will_v afford_v sweet_a comfort_n and_o refresh_n 22d_o this_o a_o comfortable_a sabbath_n god_n bless_v it_o to_o i_o mr._n cl._n preach_v from_o these_o word_n ps_n 67._o that_o god_n even_o our_o own_o god_n shall_v bless_v we_o the_o doct._n be_v it_o be_v a_o most_o desirable_a thing_n for_o people_n to_o have_v a_o god_n of_o their_o own_o these_o mark_v he_o lay_v down_o which_o i_o desire_v often_o to_o peruse_v and_o examine_v my_o self_n by_o by_o which_o i_o may_v know_v whether_o god_n be_v my_o god_n or_o no._n 1._o if_o i_o have_v a_o god_n of_o my_o own_o i_o get_v what_o knowledge_n i_o can_v of_o my_o god_n 2._o i_o get_v what_o love_n i_o can_v to_o my_o god_n 3._o i_o will_v be_v loath_a to_o do_v that_o which_o this_o my_o god_n may_v take_v ill_a 4._o i_o will_v then_o serve_v no_o god_n but_o my_o own_o god_n and_o never_o fall_v down_o to_o graven-image_n 5._o i_o will_v take_v nothing_o ill_a from_o my_o own_o god_n 6._o i_o will_v love_v to_o think_v of_o he_o 7._o i_o will_v love_v to_o be_v speak_v of_o he_o 8._o i_o can_v love_v to_o have_v my_o own_o god_n well_o speak_v of_o 9_o i_o will_v often_o send_v to_o he_o and_o hear_v from_o he_o 10._o i_o desire_v nothing_o more_o than_o while_o i_o be_o absent_a from_o he_o that_o this_o god_n will_v visit_v i_o by_o his_o spirit_n 11._o i_o will_v not_o live_v always_o here_o but_o die_v to_o go_v to_o this_o my_o own_o god_n and_o to_o be_v with_o he_o for_o ever_o and_o these_o be_v the_o earnest_a request_n of_o my_o soul_n several_a day_n together_o i_o find_v a_o comfortable_a account_n both_o as_o to_o freedom_n from_o sin_n and_o great_a mercy_n but_o on_o the_o 28_o i_o find_v relapse_n into_o sin_n and_o that_o which_o aggravate_v it_o much_o be_v i_o be_v just_a write_v the_o account_n of_o my_o life_n and_o o_o what_o a_o mercy_n it_o be_v god_n have_v give_v i_o not_o only_a space_n for_o but_o the_o grace_n of_o repentance_n decemb._n 12._o hitherto_o much_o the_o like_a account_n the_o lord_n have_v preserve_v my_o liberty_n beyond_o expectation_n and_o prevent_v my_o enter_v into_o ensnare_a bond_n 14_o i_o take_v notice_n of_o mercy_n show_v my_o wife_n in_o deliver_v she_o from_o most_o acute_a pain_n in_o the_o toothache_a jan._n 2._o â—â—8â—_n i_o this_o day_n return_v from_o a_o great_a journey_n in_o which_o the_o lord_n wonderful_o succeed_v i_o in_o all_o my_o affair_n and_o preserve_v i_o from_o all_o dangeâ—…_n i_o experience_a mercy_n in_o the_o kind_a reception_n the_o d._n of_o n._n give_v i_o on_o monday_n to_o his_o house_n whither_o i_o go_v to_o return_v he_o thanks_o for_o his_o civility_n to_o i_o he_o tell_v i_o i_o come_v to_o he_o on_o a_o very_a proper_a day_n be_v innocents-day_n for_o that_o he_o believe_v i_o be_v so_o in_o the_o matter_n lay_v to_o my_o charge_n and_o that_o he_o have_v now_o do_v with_o i_o and_o shall_v as_o opportunity_n offer_v ready_o serve_v i_o in_o any_o thing_n he_o desire_v i_o to_o be_v kind_a to_o my_o uncle_n l_o who_o have_v take_v great_a pain_n on_o my_o behalf_n i_o give_v he_o thereupon_o over_o and_o above_o other_o kindness_n before_o here_o be_v now_o a_o return_n to_o prayer_n god_n help_v i_o to_o improve_v so_o great_a mercy_n passage_n a_o little_a before_o the_o death_n of_o my_o dear_a wife_n and_o about_o her_o sickness_n and_o death_n may_v 13_o 1686._o i_o meet_v with_o stop_v as_o to_o my_o london_n journey_n by_o business_n and_o my_o dear_a wife_n illness_n for_o this_o very_a day_n in_o the_o morning_n she_o be_v even_o spend_v with_o a_o conghing-fit_a i_o be_v call_v from_o prayer_n in_o my_o family_n find_v she_o very_o ill_a but_o bless_a be_v god_n soon_o grow_v better_a and_o tell_v i_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o be_o now_o pretty_a well_o now_o i_o be_v earnest_a with_o the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v enable_v i_o to_o observe_v the_o hint_n of_o providence_n in_o my_o be_v stop_v several_a time_n and_o my_o way_n to_o london_n as_o it_o be_v hedge_v up_o may_v 17_o 1686._o i_o set_v forward_o for_o london_n notwithstanding_o the_o cross_a providence_n i_o meet_v with_o a_o great_a change_n in_o the_o wether_n divers_a time_n a_o cold_a that_o i_o have_v upon_o i_o a_o grievous_a fit_a of_o the_o asthma_n my_o dear_a wife_n have_v insomuch_o as_o i_o plain_o observe_v providence_n against_o i_o as_o to_o that_o journey_n at_o that_o time_n but_o notwithstanding_o upon_o encouragement_n from_o my_o wife_n that_o if_o i_o must_v needs_o go_v this_o summer_n which_o she_o rather_o desire_v i_o will_v not_o because_o of_o soldier_n be_v much_o upon_o the_o road_n go_v to_o the_o camp_n i_o have_v as_o good_a go_v now_o as_o any_o other_o time_n i_o do_v set_v forward_o and_o part_n with_o my_o dear_a wife_n this_o day_n but_o never_o see_v she_o more_o the_o lord_n know_v my_o carriage_n at_o london_n be_v too_o light_a and_o vain_a i_o wonder_v i_o hear_v nothing_o from_o ollercarr_n wait_v a_o fortnight_n for_o letter_n and_o do_v myself_o write_v several_a but_o through_o their_o miscarriage_n and_o as_o the_o lord_n please_v to_o order_v it_o i_o receive_v four_o all_o of_o a_o day_n most_o of_o which_o bring_v i_o the_o sad_a tiding_n of_o my_o dear_a wife_n death_n which_o be_v aggravate_v great_o in_o that_o i_o have_v not_o hear_v of_o her_o illness_n till_o i_o hear_v of_o her_o death_n and_o all_o come_v in_o letter_n to_o i_o at_o london_n at_o which_o time_n i_o have_v one_o under_o my_o wife_n hand_n to_o acquaint_v i_o with_o her_o late_a illness_n but_o that_o bless_a be_v god_n she_o be_v better_o a_o account_n of_o which_o here_o follow_v after_o i_o have_v give_v first_o a_o account_n of_o i_o just_o send_v to_o the_o post_n direct_v to_o she_o at_o that_o very_a instant_n when_o i_o receive_v this_o that_o follow_v a_o copy_n of_o my_o letter_n the_o last_o i_o ever_o write_v or_o must_v write_v to_o my_o dear_a wife_n now_o i_o trust_v with_o god_n my_o dear_a i_o be_o in_o great_a expectation_n of_o nanny_n come_v up_o to_o london_n according_a to_o the_o desire_n of_o my_o last_o which_o business_n now_o only_o stay_v i_o in_o town_n thou_o can_v not_o imagine_v how_o much_o i_o be_o concern_v at_o thy_o silence_n or_o at_o least_o thy_o letter_n miscarriage_n i_o have_v not_o receive_v one_o letter_n from_o thou_o since_o i_o leave_v thou_o this_o be_v i_o think_v the_o four_o that_o i_o have_v
tho'_o you_o will_v not_o see_v it_o then_o take_v they_o devil_n bind_v they_o hand_n and_o foot_n persecutor_n come_v forth_o you_o persecutor_n now_o you_o will_v know_v what_o it_o be_v for_o to_o oppress_v my_o friend_n below_o you_o do_v not_o only_o mock_v and_o scoff_n but_o when_o you_o please_v you_o do_v imprison_v the_o best_a of_o men._n not_o only_o do_v you_o wound_v they_o with_o the_o tongue_n but_o scorpion-like_a you_o many_o of_o they_o sting_v some_o judas-like_a you_o wicked_o betray_v and_o other_o with_o your_o treat_v you_o make_v afraid_a you_o banish_v some_o and_o other_o spill_v their_o blood_n because_o they_o dare_v not_o sin_n but_o will_v be_v good_a many_o you_o hale_v to_o prison_n who_o you_o know_v in_o all_o their_o prayer_n to_o i_o forget_v not_o you_o you_o will_v not_o walk_v yourselves_o in_o the_o narrow-way_n and_o such_o as_o will_v you_o often_o cause_v to_o stray_v you_o think_v herein_o you_o serve_v i_o but_o now_o see_v it_o be_v the_o 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with_o less_o and_o that_o such_o drunkard_n must_v their_o portion_n take_v in_o the_o infernal_a pit_n and_o fiery_a lake_n yet_o drink_v you_o will_v and_o drunkard_n you_o will_v be_v and_o in_o excuse_n will_v say_v some_o tempt_v i_o other_o thus_o plead_v that_o as_o for_o their_o share_n they_o overtake_v be_v before_o aware_a but_o these_o thing_n will_v not_o do_v your_o plea_n be_v naught_o and_o all_o your_o drunken_a frolic_v dear_o buy_v then_o seize_v they_o devil_n let_v they_o ever_o take_v whole_a draught_n of_o vengeance_n in_o a_o flame_a lake_n adulterer_n come_v forth_o adulterer_n that_o curse_a seed_n who_o be_v unchaste_a in_o thought_n or_o word_n or_o deed_n for_o all_o these_o thing_n by_o my_o command_n i_o do_v most_o strict_o all_o the_o son_n of_o man_n forbid_v you_o wanton_n know_v these_o thing_n most_o sinful_a be_v and_o yet_o to_o act_v they_o seldom_o will_v forbear_v you_o seek_v out_o secret_a corner_n where_o to_o sin_v and_o act_v your_o 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