as their natural life must begin from you Ye are Magistrates in your Families and it is your Province to be a terrour to evil-doers and Encouragers of those that do well If by your indulgence they sin and by your connivence they grow wicked will not the supreme Judge be avenged on such Officers You blame Governours of a Commonwealth if they do not animadvert on Offenders or are regardless of the reins of Justice and do not you blame your selves who are Commanders in your Families for suffering the fear of God to decay there which is the only thing that can make them happy How is it that you will not understand your Interest Is it not your interest to educate them into the Practice of Virtue and Goodness and Self denial If they love God they must needs love you that love will constrain them to express their Duty to you The Presence of God will over-awe them and they 'll obey you not with eye-service but when your eye is off from them The fear of God will make them conscientious of obeying your Commands in secret and if your good Counsels and Examples prevail with them they will be not only your Children but the Children of God and you will have this satisfaction that you do not only love them but that God loves them and dwells in them and they in him Remember this ye that are Children and let this encourage you to a faithful discharge of your Duty Your Parents that under God gave you life have a just Right to your Services and Obedience You are born Servants to them and to be at their beck and Command is the obligation you bring with you into the World As the Authority of Parents was the first Government in the World so your subjection to them is the first Service that was ever known in the World Can you think any thing too good for them who are the great Instruments of conveying to you all the goods you possess and all the endowments you are invested with If you follow not their good Instructions and Admonitions ye are the greatest Rebels in the World and the sin is as great a Treason in the Family you live in as Sedition in a Kingdom is against the State You have the noblest Promises made you to reward your Obedience and though it is a natural Duty bound up with your very Being yet God will reward it as if it were a deliberate self-denial and because you shall not stay for the recompence God will bless you here and your lives shall be comfortable on this side Heaven It is the first Commandment in the Law with Promise and to let you see how God delights in your honouring your Parents and obeying their wholsom Counsels he hath singled out that Precept and dress'd it with more than ordinary encouragements But then the Honour you shew them must not spend it self in some outward Civilities but must be expressed in Actions in Speeches and in Patience according to the Advice of the Son of Syrach Ecclesiastic 3. 12 13 14. In Actions so as to execute their lawful Commands with great alacrity and fidelity to labour and to take pains for their mainnteance and support if they are fallen to decay and to relieve their necessities according to your ability In Words and Speeches so as to speak honourably of them to answer them with humility to comfort them when they are in trouble and to pacifie them with soft language when they are angry and displeased In Patience so as to bear their anger patiently and to endure their frowardness and pettishness without contradiction to receive their severer Commands and such as are contrary to your genius and inclination with gentleness and to do them without murmuring These are Duties which draw more than ordinary Blessings upon you God that sees you do so will have thoughts of peace towards you he will be concerned for you and you may be confident he will not leave you nor forsake you In honouring your Parents you honour your selves It 's that which will not only procure you favour with God but with Men too It 's upon this account that Wise Men have recorded the Dutifulness of some excellent Children and make them Immortal by their Writings and there are such Examples of this filial Respect even among the Heathen that it would be odious and dreadful if the Children of Christians should fall short of their Duty God lays so great a stress upon it that as he promises the kindest things to it so he threatens as severe punishments where it is neglected and that he doth not only threaten but execute these Judgments any Man may see that will take notice of his Providences But all this the Reader will be more fully convinced of by reading the following Discourse which that God may bless with success and edification shall be my hearty Prayer A. Horneck THE CONTENTS Of Advice to Parents PART I. THE Introduction shewing the great Importance of the right Education of Children Pag. 1 How Parents ought to be affected while Children are yet in the Womb. 2 How they ought to be affected when their Children are born 3 The Duties of Parents for their Childrens Souls 1. Duty To Consecrate them to God in Baptism 4 The Right of Children to Baptism 8 2. Duty to season their Minds betimes with good Impressions 13 Children are to be acquainted with Scripture Histories 14 3. Duty to teach them to pray 18 4. Duty to observe carefully their Temper and Disposition and to endeavour to reform what is amiss therein 22 What is to be done if they are sturdy and proud 22 If they be given to lying 23 If they are Cunning and Deceitful 24 If they are peevish and passionate 25 If they are Revengeful and Malicious 26 If they are Jealous and Suspicious 28 If they are too Credulous 28 If they are Envious 29 If they are very Impatient 30 If they love their Belly too well 32 If they discover any tendency to Vnchast and Immodest actions 33 If they are very Changeable and Vnconstant 36 If they are surly and morose 37 If they are disrespectful to Aged Persons 39 If they quarrel much with one another 40 If they are over curious to know their Lot and Fortune in the World 42 If they are unthankful to those who do them good and kind Offices 46 If they are of too Prodigal a Temper 49 If they are Covetous 50 If they are naturally melancholly 51 If they are of too gay and airy a Temper 51 If they are Rash and Froward 52 5. Duty to see that they be taught to Read 55 About keeping them at School 56 Great care ought to be taken what Books they read 61 6. Duty to bring them to the place of publick Worship so soon as they are fit for it 64 What they should do before they go to Church 65 How they should carry themselves at Church ib. What they should do when they come
from Church 66 Why the Lord's Day ought to be kept 67 Children are to be possessed with a great regard for the Ministers of the Gospel 68 7. Duty to make them understand their Baptismal Covenant 73 8. Duty to encourage them to come to the Lord's Table 77 9. Duty to take care that they accustom themselves to self-Examination 79 10. Duty to observe what Providences they meet with and to acquaint them therewith in due time as also with some of the most remarkable Providences which either they to wit the Parents themselves or others have met with 86 Some Directions to Parents how to render their Endeavours effectual 95 1. They must give their Children good Example 95 2. They must chuse good Company for them 98 The great Danger that Children are in from Flatterers 99 Advice to those who send their Children abroad to travel 102 3. They must as need requires reprove and chasten their Children and how 106 Parents ought in correcting their Children to follow the Example of our Heavenly Father 111 Parents must be careful not to oppose one another when they correct and reprove their Children 112 4. They must carefully improve the Time of their Childrens Sickness or of any other Afflictions they meet with towards the making of them wiser and better 113 5. They must daily pray to God for them 115 Against those who curse their Children 118 Some Motives to excite Parents to do these things 1. Motive from the Divine Command 120 2. Motive from its being a work worthy of the utmost care and pains of Parents 122 3. Motive from the Rewards which attend those who faithfully do these things 123 4. Motive from the great Benefit which comes both to Church and State by the good Education of Children 127 5. Motive from the sad Effects which attend the neglect of these Duties 135 PART II. The Duties of Parents as to their Childrens Bodies 1. DVty it belongs to the Mother to give suck to her Children 141 2. Duty about Childrens Diet. 145 3. Duty about Childrens Apparel 146 The Duty of Parents as to the outward Estate of their Children 1. Duty to chuse a fit Trade for them 148 Advice to those who have great Estates and Riches to bestow on their Children 150 Advice to those who intend to set apart one or more of their Children for the Holy Ministry 157 2. Duty about disposing of them in Marriage 162 The sad Effects of Marrying very leud and profligate Persons 164 3. Duty about providing somewhat that may be the foundation of their comfortable subsistance in the World 167 Great Prudence and Caution ought to be used in bestowing their Worldly Goods on their Children 172 4. Duty to have their Will and Testament in Readiness 174 The great Inconvenience of delay in this matter 174 Great care to be taken in the choice of Guardians for Children 178 The above mentioned particulars earnestly recommended to Parents 180 Concerning the Duty of Parents when God removeth their Children by Death 1. They ought to consider that it is the Lord who does it 187 2. They ought to consider that their Children were born mortal 189 3. They should consider from whence and whither they are gone 197 4. They should consider that there will be a Resurrection 202 5. They should consider that their giving way to excessive Grief and Mourning can do no good but will certainly do a great deal of hurt 205 The Duty of Parents on their Death-Bed 209 1. Duty to give their Children good Advice 210 2. Duty to pray to God for them 212 3. Duty to commend them to some Faithful Friends 212 Concerning the Duties of Step-Fathers and Step-Mothers 214 Some Motives to stir them up to do their Duty 218 The Duties of Guardians 223 Some Motives to excite Guardians to do their Duty 225 A Morning Prayer for Parents or Masters of Families with their Family 232 An Evening Prayer for Parents or Masters of Families with their Family 237 A short Prayer for the Morning or Evening when through Extraordinary Occasions there is not time for the other 242 A Prayer to be taught Children when hey begin to speak 245 A Prayer for Children when they come to be four or five Years old 246 A Prayer for Children when they come to twelve or fourteen years of Age sooner or later according to the ripeness of their understanding 247 Grace before Meat 251 After Meat 252 ERRATA PAg. 16. line 26. read intelligible p. 22. l. 22. for when r. whom p. 44. l. 9. r. infallibly p. 45. l. 2. for having r. have p. 68. l. 22. r. Ministrations p. 87. l. 24. r. stir up p. 97. l. 22. r. And besides the influence p. 101. l. 21. r. Attia p. 126. l. 12 r. lustre p. 154. l. 1. r. of p. 159. l. 13. point thus early and late to be p. 178. l. 7. for are r. is p. 187. l. 25. point thus sees fit He is the great Potter and. p. 193. l. 28. for hath r. had p. 215. l. 1 point thus account They. p. 238. l. 4. point thus Counsels and despised As to some other mistakes in the Printing they will not much hinder the Reader ERRATA in Advice to Children PAg. 3. l. 18. r. Disposition p. 9. l. 12 and 13. r. tho Canaan l. 29. for ye r. thee p. 29. l. 16. for Cat r. Cock p. 114. l. 5. r. Servant p. 139. l. 4. r. hath called p. 150. l. 15. and 16. r. according ADVICE TO PARENTS PART I. IT has been always reckoned by the best and Wisest men a thing absolutely necessary towards a Reformation in the World to begin with the Instruction and Education of Children those of elder Years being ordinarily so rooted and hardned in their sinful habits that for the most part there 's very little can be done to reform them and make them better So sensible were some ancient States of this that they made particular Laws for Educating Children thinking it too great a Trust to leave it altogether in the Power of Parents to train up their Children according to their Humour and Fancy Amongst Christians there are few restraints upon Parents in most Countries it being in their Power to Educate their Children as they think good It is therefore of no small Importance for them to know what their Duty is that they may approve themselves to God in doing whatever he requires towards their Children for their Souls their Bodies and their outward Estate The Design of this Treatise is to furnish those who want such helps with some plain and easie Directions that they may know how to act the Part of Christian Parents First while Children are yet in the Womb it is the Duty of Parents to endeavour to bring their mind to an indifferency as to the Sex which shall be born not to prescribe to God by their impatient desires and their bold asking of him a Child of this or that Sex but to leave it entirely
to Christian Parents That you may the better act your part 't is fit for you when you call your selves to an account about your Lives and Conversations to make enquiry particularly how you perform the Duties of Parents towards your Children as to their Souls their Bodies and Outward Concerns And if upon serious enquiry you find that you sincerely endeavour to do whatever you know your selves to be bound to do for them then bless and praise God who gives you both to will and to do according to his good Pleasure Beg his pardon for those Imperfections and Defects that attend all Humane Actions Resolve to go on and not to grow weary in your Duty towards them that so they may be as happy in all respects as is possible for you by the help of God to make them But if upon inquiry you find that you have been very negligent in your duty towards your Children that you have done very little good for their Souls and not what you should and might have done for their Bodies and outward Estate and that perhaps you have done them a great deal of hurt by your Evil Counsel and Prophane and Wretched Example that you have led them on in the Broad Way which leads to the Chambers of Death that you have robbed God who bestowed them on you of their Service and Obedience and have made them the Servants of Sin that you have contributed to the making them Heirs of Wrath and Children of Disobedience who were made by their Baptism Children of God and Inheritors of the Kingdom of Heaven that you have done what tended to destroy eternally those Souls and Bodies which God intrusted with you that you might take care of them and do what you could to make them happy If I say upon enquiry into your hearts and lives you find your selves guilty of those things how great reason have you to be in bitterness and grief of Heart to weep and lament to abhor your selves in Dust and Ashes to confess and acknowledge your Sins with great Humility and Contrition to implore the Divine Mercy and Forgiveness with all earnestness for the sake of his dear Son to resolve and purpose sincerely to amend your ways and doings to beg Grace from God that he would assist you that he would compass you about with his Salvation and never leave you nor forsake you that he would give you his Holy Spirit to sanctifie you to wash and cleanse you to lead and guide you to support and strengthen you to revive and quicken you to carry you from strength to strength and from Grace to Grace till you come and appear before him in Sion Consider the particular things wherein you have hurt the Souls of your Children and failed in your Duty to them as to their Bodies and Outward Concerns And the more you find you have done amiss resolve so much the more to be zealous to do them good to double your diligence in promoting the welfare and happiness both of their Souls and Bodies Tell them so far as is meet what you now see and feel let them know that you have been out of the way that you have misled them and brought both your selves and them in danger of being undone and ruined Eternally Tell them what you resolve to do and what you and they ought to do and must do or else that you will certainly perish Delay not to do this one moment fly like a Bird out of the Snare of the Fowler Your Souls lie at the stake and therefore do what Men use to do to save their Lives Skin for Skin and all that a Man hath will be give for his Life Men are ready to part with any thing to save their Lives They 'l part with House and Lands with Silver and Gold with their whole Estate and Substance to save their Bodies alive which must die at last and for ought they know may die within a very few days or hours How much more ought you that you may save your own Souls and the Souls of your Children to part with your â—ile and unruly Lusts and Passions your vain foolish Habits and Customs which are your reproach and dishonour which are the worst things in the World which can do you no good if you hold them still but will certainly do you a great deal of mischief They will prove the cause of your destruction they will deprive you of all that is good and excellent they will cut you off from the favour of God the Love of Christ and the fellowship of the Blessed Spirit they will likewise deprive you of the Assistance and Ministry of the Holy Angels and the Comfortable Society of the Saints departed they will exclude you for ever from the Kingdom of Heaven the Crown of Righteousness the Peace the Joy the Love and Glory of the future State All this your sins will deprive you of and instead thereof they will expose you to the Wrath of God to the devouring fire to Everlasting Burnings to blackness of darkness to weeping and gnashing of Teeth to the wretched and cursed Company of Devils and damned Souls to the Worm which never dieth which will gnaw you and torment you for ever And will you chuse all this rather than part with your Lusts that you may be for ever happy and have fulness of Joy and Pleasures for evermore Will you be so mad as to prefer Hell and Death everlasting Misery and Woe to Heaven and Everlasting Life to Blessedness and Glory And will you still continue to be so cruel to your poor Children as to draw them along with you to the bottomless Pit Now is the time for you to become either happy or miserable if you repent and amend and act the part of Wise and Religious Parents you may be happy for God will have Mercy upon you Isa. 55. 7. Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous Man his Thoughts And let him return unto the Lord and he will have Mercy upon him and to our God for he will abundantly pardon Follow therefore the Example of the Psalmist Psal. 119. 59 60. I thought on my ways and turned my feet unto thy Testimonies I made haste and delayed not to keep thy Commandments Resolve without delay to forsake your wicked Customs and Practices Begin in earnest to work out your own Salvation and do all that lies in your power to make your Children wise and good But if instead of this you continue in your sin and folly setting at naught God's Counsels and despising his Reproofs putting the Evil day far from you promising your selves peace and safety tho' you walk after your own Hearts Lusts making a mock at Sin and laughing at all that is sacred and serious and by your wicked Example destroying the Souls and Bodies of your poor Children then assure your selves God will not be mocked he will at last whet his Sword and bend his Bow and make ready his Arrows against his
One that being in Covenant with Evil Spirits calls upon them by certain Words and Rites to get their assistance in some vain or bad Design or other d One that calleth upon the Dead and enquireth of them as the Witch of Endor did 1 Sam. 28. 8 9. c. If they are unthankful to those who do them good and kind Offices * Dixeris maledicta cuncta cum ingratum Hominem dixeris See Xenoph Paed. Cyr. l. 1. * See Plin. Hist. l. 8. c. 16. Sen. de Benef l. 3. c. 19. Aul. Gel. l. 5. c. 14. If they are of too prâ—digal a Temper If they are Covetous * Inde fere scelerum causae Juven Sat. 14. If they are naturally melancholy If they are of too gay and airy a Temper If they are Rash and Forward About chusing a fit Person to teach them to read About keeping them at School Great care ought to be taken what Books they read What they should do before they go to Church How they should carry themselves at Church What they should do when they come from Church Why the Lord's Day ought to be kept * Ambr. de Pentec Ser. 61. Children are to be possessed with a great regard for the Ministers of the Gospel * They who joyn with us in the publick Worship ought to think of their Obligation to this Duty when they hear these words of the Litany â—O God we have heard with our Ears and our Fathers have declared unto us the Noble Works that thou didst in their days and in the old time before them See Ps. 44. 1. 1. They must give their Children good Example 2. They must chuse good Company for them * Etiam sine Magistro vitia discuntur Sen. The great Danger that Children are in from Flatterers * Quintilian de causis corruptae Eloquentiae Advice to Parents who send their Children abroad to Travel 3. They must as need requires reprove and chasten their Children and how Parents ought in correcting their Children to follow the Example of our Heavenly Father Parents must be careful not to oppose one another when they câ—rrect and reprove their Children 4. They must carefully improve the Time of their Childrens Sickness or of any other afflictions they meet with towards the making of them wiser and better 5. They must daily pray to God for them Against those who curse their Children †The Blessing of the Father Establisheth the Houses of Children but the Curse of the Mother rooteth out Foundations Ecelus 3. 9. * See Augustin de Civ Dei l. 22. c. â—8 Plato de legg l. 34. dial 11. 1. Motive from the Divine Command 2. Motive from its being a work worthy of the utmost care and pains of Parents 3. Motive from the Rewards which attend those who faithfully do these things 4. Motive from the great Benefit which comes both to Church and State by the good Education of Children * See Plutarch in Lycurgo Heraclid de Politiis Xenophon paed Cyr. lib. 1. 5. Moâ—ive from the sâ—d Effects which attend the neglect of these Duties * Augustin To. 10. Ser. 33. 〈◊〉 Fratres in Eremo 1. Duty it belongs to the Mother to give suck to her Children * Aulus Gellius lib. 12. cap. 1. See likewise Plutarch de Educ 2. Duty about Childrens Diet. 3. Duty about Childrens Apparel 1. Duty to chuse a fit Trade for them * See Plut. in Solone â—dvice to those who have great Estates and Riches to bestow on their Children * 'T was excellently said by Agefilans King of â—acedemon We must teach Children what they should do when they are Men. * Plutarch de Educat * Antigonus used this as an Argument to induce Zeno the Philosopher to come to him You may said he be well assured that by teaching and instructing me you will at the same time instruct all the Macedonians For he who contributes towards the making the King of Macedon a Virtuous Person does in great measuâ—â— disp se all his Subjects for Virtuous Impressions For such as Rulers and Princes be such likewise ordinarily are they who depend upon theâ—â— Diog. Laert. in Zenone Advice to those who intend to set apart one or more of their Children for the Holy Ministry 2. Duty about disposing of them in Marriage * Callias the Athenian was highly commended by the Greeks because he gave his Daughters leave to chuse what Husbands themselves liked best Herodot in Erato * Plut. in Themistocle * The sad Effects of marrying very leud and profligate Persons 3. Duty about providing somewhat that may be the foundation of their comfortable subsistance in the World Great Prudence and Caution ought to be used in bestowing their Worldly Goods on their Children 4. Duty to have their Will and Testament in Readiness The great Inconvenience of delay in this matter Great care to be taken in the choice of Guardians for Children * 'T was an Athenian Law that they should not be choseâ— Guardians who have a right to the Childrens Estate after their Decease Diog. Laert. in Soloâ—e 1. They ought to consider that it is the Lord who does it 2. They ought to consider that their Children were born mortal 3. They should consider from whence and whither they are gone 4. They should consider that there will be a Resurrection 5. They should consider that their giving way to excessive Grief and Mourning can do no good but will certainly do a great deal of hurt The Duty of Parents on their Death-Bed 1. Duty to give their Children good Advice 2. Duty to pray to God for them 3. Duty to commend them to some Faithful Friends Concerning the Duties of Step-Fathers and Step-Mothers or Fathers and Mothers in Law Some Motives to stir them up to do their Duty The Duties of Guardians Some Motives to excite Guardians to do their Duty Prayers for the Morning and Evening to be used in Families * Or Evening * Or the past day †Oâ— this night * If there be Brothers and Sisters let them pray for them likewise * Here they may make a particular Confession of their Sins * If there be any Brothers or Sisters he may pray for them and for Grandfather and Grandmother if they be alive
shall the Child learn Sobriety where the Father is often drunk Or how is it possible the young man should be meek and patient where the Father is Cholerick and hath no command of his passion I do not restrain the Grace of God and am sensible that the very impiety of the Parents hath sometimes contrary Effects upon certain Children and they learn to be good by the Wickedness of their Superiors but this is an extraordinary Providence which God exerts sometimes to manifest his Omnipotence and to let Men see that he can bring light out of darkness but the ordinary way of Edifying those under our Charge is to teach them by Example And though even this proves ineffectual sometimes yet it 's enough that it is our Duty and that we have discharged it and have taken that way which was most rational and of God's prescription I am so pleased with St. Jerom's Advice to Laeta concerning the Education of her Daughter that I cannot forbear to transcribe part of it I will let you see saith he what Education you are to give to a Daughter whose Soul ought to be the Temple of God Let her hear nothing learn nothing speak nothing but what may inspire the fear of God into her Let her not listen to prophane Discourses nor be enamoured with Love Songs or amâ—rous Ditties Let her use her self at certain hours to sing Psalms let none be about her but sober Servants and keep her from running into Company light and vain where she will learn more ill than good Use her to reading and to work and labour and promise her Rewards and incite her to Emulation excite her to Virtue by praises and Commendations and make her ambitious to excel others in Virtue and good Works Let her learn Scripture Sentences by heart and chuse her a Master that may not only teach her to read but instruct her in good manners Give her a Nurse neither debaucht nor tatling nor given to strong Liquors and let her Habit be modest and such as becomes her Christian Profession Let her not bore Holes in her Ears for Pendants neither let her use any Paint or Wash to beautifie her self Let her not be nice in ordering the Hair of her Head neither suffer her to adorn her self with Gold or Pearls or precious Stones except you design her for Hell fire When she comes to riper Age let her go with her Parents to the Temple but let her not return to the Gayeties of the World Advise her to keep her self in her Chamber and let her not go to Feasts and merry Meetings I would not have her use too much Fasting and Abstinence which may hurt her health at least till she be stronger and better able to bear it Let her use God's Creatures for necessity and not for voluptuousness sake Suffer her not to be at Musical concerts nor to be fond of Fiddles and Lutes and Harps but let her repeat every day some passages out of the Word of God Let her not go abroad any where without her Mother nor be very familiar or enter into intreagues with any Servant Appoint her a Governess that 's sage and wise and who may teach her to rise at midnight to sing Praises to her God Let her pray and work Day and Night Teach her to handle her Needle to Spin and to Exercise her self in turning the Spindle Suffer her not to imploy her self in Imbroideries of Gold and Silver Let her Cloaths be plain and decent and let her eat soberly and temperately and let her not take pleasure in common Baths I know what will be objected here that this is the advice of a Hermit and to teach a Daughter how to be a Nun. But still I appeal to any unprejudiced Person whether this be not the most likely way to Salvation and whether these Precepts be not agreeable to the Gospel of Christ And though I will grant that all are not under the same Circumstances and all cannot give the same Education yet as to the principal part of the advice which is to teach Children by Word and Example how to die to Sin and to the World it must be granted it 's very practicable This Age indeed hath learnt to shake off these stricter Rules but they should shew us too what Warrant they have from the Word of God to do so It was judiciously observed of Fabius that a soft and effeminate Education breaks the strength of Body and Mind and whilst we breed up Children to all the Arts of Vanity and Luxury they continue strangers to God and to themselves The Vine grows wild if it be not cut so doth Youth if they be not betimes curbed in things which war against the Soul Vnderstand this ye Parents and be instructed ye to whom God hath committed the care of Education ye are God's Stewards and your Children are the Goods you are to manage to your Master's Glory Their blood God will require at your hands Have not ye read the Curse God pronounced against Eli for his negligence and are not ye afraid of the same Judgment Ye are the persons by whom your Children must be taught to serve God in their Generation ye are the persons from whom they are to learn their Duty to God and Man at your door the fault will lie if they miscarry through your carelesness Are their Souls so contemptible in your eyes that you will let them perish for want of Admonition Did Christ think them worth purchasing with his own Blood and will ye let them lie without fence or wall or cultivation You take care that they may live comfortably in this World Is it not a greater Duty to bestir your selves that they may enjoy God for ever It is joy to you to see them do well here and ought it not to be a greater joy to find that they are like to reign with Christ and his Saints in a better World You love them but how doth it appear you do while you let their Souls die Is this your Love to provide for their flesh and to neglect enriching their better part with religious Principles You would have them go to Heaven when they die but how is it possible they should when you are loth to be at the trouble to shew them the way that leads to that Paradise Was ever any Man saved without Holiness and do you hope they will be without this qualification If you teach them not by Word and Example to practise that Holiness how can you or they hope to ascend into the Mount of God or dwell on the everlasting Hills Do you believe a future Account and do not ye enquire whether you discharge your Duty to your Children Or is this no part of the Account ye are to give Ye are the Persons who are to breathâ— goodness into them and to give them life and happiness Ye are their Gods as it were and from you they receive their motion and their spiritual as well
By this Example shew them what a dangerous thing it is to be in the Company of naughty Children and what an Evil thing it is to be Mockers and Scorners especially of Holy Men of Aged Persons or of God's Ministers Tell them what happened to Ananias and Saphira for their lying that they may be afraid to lye Tell them how Daniel was preserved when he was cast into the Den of Lions And how the three Children were preserved in the Fiery Furnace That thereby they may learn never to be afraid to do the Will of God tho' by doing it they should be exposed to never so great Dangers Tell them how Daniel Hananiah Mishacl and Azariah chose to eat Pulse only and to drink Water and yet by the Blessing of God on their plain Diet Their Countenances appeared fairer and fatter in Flesh than all the Children that did â—at the Portion of the King's Meat That thereby they may learn to be well pleased with the most Plain and Ordinary Fare and may consider that the Blessing of God is able to make the coursest Diet very sweet Refreshing and Nourishing even beyond the greatest Delicacies In this manner 't is sit to entertain your Children sometimes according to their Age and Capacity with such Scripture Histories as tend to make the most lively Impressions upon them In teaching Children such matters it is necessary to condescend to their weak Capacity to speak to them softly and gently and in a plain and intellgible manner It is not fit to talk with them of such things at all times nor yet to say too much to them at any one time Such Instructions are to be dropt into their Minds leisurely and by degrees so as not to oppress them but to recreate them not to be a Burden to them but a Pleasure It cannot be expressed how great Advantages attend such early Instructions these are the Seeds of Virtue which take root infensibly and spring up sometimes very unexpectedly the Impressions which they make continue a great while as Earthen Vessels retain the favour of that Liquor which was first put into them a long time after So powerful are these fâ—râ—t Instructions that they are able to conqâ—â—r even Nature it self The famous Lycurgus made this appear by bringing into the Market-place two Dogs of one Litter and presenting before them a Pot of Pottage and a Hare one of them which was trained up in Hunting run after the Hare and the other which was brought up in the House sell to the Pottage What a wonderful power may we daily observe in those early impressions which are made on Mens Minds Thereby in comes to pass that the most absâ—â—d and extravagant Opinions which have been suck'd in when one was young can hardly be removed by the clearest and strongest Reasonings 3. Duty to teach them to pray Thirdly Teach them so soon as may be to pray to God Morning and Evening To say after you or others whom you appoint for that purpose two or three short Petitions which are easie to be understood and as their Understanding and Capacity increaseth teach them the Lord's Prayer and after that some larger Form of Prayer which they may say after you till they can read it themselves or get it by heart You are to have a special care that they perform their Devotions in as grave and serious a manner as their years can admit You are to keep them from all sorts of indecent Actions and Postures when they say their Prayers For this end you are to teach them who it is they speak to when they pray and what those things mean which the pray for Chuse the sittest times for them wherein to say their Prayers As in the Morning when-ever they arise while their Spirits are most vigorous and their Thoughts most free At Night let them say their Prayers rather before Supper than after because after Supper they are more apt to be very dull and sleepy and thereby less fit for such a performance God is not to be served with the refuse of our Thoughts and with sluggish sleepy Desires but with our best and most lively Affections and with the strength and fervour of our desires You are to prevent their omitting their Prayers at any one time because doing so once or twice they are apt to neglect them wholly or to return to them with great aversness Whereas Custom and Constancy in performing their Devotions will make them much more easie and pleasant to them When they are possessed with more perfect and solid thoughts about Religion with stronger and more lively impressions of Divine things and are able without great difficulty to express the sense of their Souls They may do what they find serves best the great purposes of Devotion If praying without restraining themselves to any particular Form of Words contribute more to their Fervency and Elevation of Mind in Prayer let them pray without using a Form But if they find that their Minds are more stayed and fixed and their Fervency and Devotion greater in the use of a Form than without it let them do that which they find best When they pray for outward and temporal things teach them to do it with an entire submission to the Will of God who hath promised perishing things conditionally that is so far as he sees the bestowing of them will be for his Glory and the good of his Children Therefore they must not be peremptory vehement and importunate in their desires and Prayers for such things but ought to pray for them with great Humility and Resignation to the Divine Will As for spiritual Blessings to wit the pardon of Sin the direction and assistance of the Spirit of God his Grace to help them in time of need power and strength to fight against the Devil the World and the Flesh c. These things are to be prayed for with all the importunity and earnestness that is possible The more vehement and fervent their desires and Prayers are for such things the more acceptable are they to God and the more likely to obtain from him the desires of their Souls for he hath promised to satisfie the longing Soul with good things As it is the Duty of Parents to teach their Children to pray Morning and Evening so they ought to teach them always to bless God before and after Meals You ought at first when they begin to speak to cause them to say after you or after those who attend them two or three words before and after Meat And when they come to greater Capacity teach them a larger Form This will in due time be a means to excite in their Minds a Sense of the power and goodness of God of their dependance upon him for all needful things both for Soul and Body and of their own weakness and indigence 4. Duty to observe carefully their temper and disposition and to endeavour to reform what is amiss therein Fourthly Observe carefully their Temper
and Disposition what Vices they are most inclined to If they are sturdy and proud peevish and passionate Malicious and Revengeful False and Deceitful rash and unadvised c. Endeavour all you can to reform them and to bend their Minds the right way For Example If they are sturdy and proud strive to humble them to break them to tame their proud Spirits accustom them to the doing Acts of Humility do not gratifie them in those things which are apt to make them Proud cause them to yield and submit to your Will or to the Will of others whom you think fit they should obey Accustom them now and then to a refusal of what they would have especially when you see them too eager to have it This you may do in small matters which they may be without very safely By which means you will prepare them to bear with a refusal in things of greater moment which are either inconvenient for them to have or for you to give and to be willing to have them or want them as you shall think fit If once this Foundation is laid it will make the rest of your work a great deal more easie in the Education of your Children If you once take their will from them you may then do with them what you please But if instead of this you gratifie them in whatever they have a mind to and suffer them to live according to their own Will and Humour whether it be right or wrong you may then expect that when they are grown up they will improve to their own hurt and your grief the Excessive Liberty they had when they were young As then you left them to do their own will so now they will do it whether you will or not If they be given to Lying shew them the Evil of it that a Lying Tongue is an Abomination to the Lord Prov. 6. 16 17. and Ch. 12. 22. That the Devil is the Father of Lyars and that they are in the Number of those that are shut out of the new Jerusalem and have their part in the Lake that burneth with Fire and Brimstone Rev. 21. 8. and 22. 15. Shew them how great hurt it will do them and what shame it will bring upon them That if they be found Lyars People will not believe them even when they speak Truth Encourage them to confess their Faults if they have done any thing amiss be apt to pardon them when they confess and tell the Truth and commend them for doing so But if you find them in a Lye be sure to Chastise them for it especially if they have done it oftner than once Nothing tends more to the spoiling of Children than their getting into such a habit This is a Vice that grows up apace if not timely cured by good Education Thereby they learn to grow so false and disingenuous that they are not fit to be trusted or employed If you observe them to be Cunning and full of little Arts and Wiles to deceive those who are simple and good natur'd strive to temper this Wisdom of the Serpent with the Harmlesness and Innocence of the Dove Teach them to use their Wisdom in doing their Duty as well as they can in carrying on such good and useful Designs as are suitable to their Age and in taking heed lest others deceive them Endeavour to make them understand that Golden Rule which our Saviour gives us Mat. 7. 12. All things whatsoever you would that Men should do to you do ye even so to them Shew them that at last Honesty will be found to be the best policy That they that walk uprightly walk surely Prov. 10. 9. That God will be a Buckler to them that walk uprightly Prov. 2. 7. That is he will protect such Persons and save them from Mischief and Destruction Endeavour all that is possible to make them Lovers of Sincerity and of Godly simplicity and strive to possess them with a just abhorrence of any thing that looks like cheating and deceiving If they are of a peevish and passionate Temper easily put out of Humour with every little thing and apt to fly out into Passion for a small matter endeavour to make them of a calm and mild Temper Meek and Gentle and of a well governed and composed Spirit Teach them to bridle their Passion to restrain the inward boyling of their Anger and not to suffer it to break forth into indecent Words and Actions Shew them what an excellent thing it is for one to rule his Spirit which Solomon says is better than to take a City Prov. 16. 32. Shew them what sad consequences attend an unruly Passion and what mad and foolish things some have done when they were angry 'T will not be amiss to take occasion to shew them how one looks and what he does when he is transported by his Passion and endeavour thereby to possess them with a great abhorrence of this Vice which renders those who are guilty of it such sad and deformed spectacles Often suggest to them the Example of our Blessed Master who when he was reviled reviled not again who endured the contradiction of Sinners against himself and who commanded us to learn of him who was meek and lowly Mat. 11. 29. If you perceive them to be Naturally very Revengeful and Malicious ready to do all manner of mischief to those who have cross'd them or vex'd them in any thing endeavour all that you can to deliver them from so woful and unhappy a Temper and to make them love those who have done or said somewhat that was uneasie to them and to embrace all occasions of doing them kind Offices that so they may learn to overcome evil with good Do not encourage them to say ill of those who have said ill of them for this were to feed and cherrish their Revengeful Humour Shew them the Example of our Blessed Saviour who Loved his Enemies yea Died for them and requires of all his Followers to love their Enemies Shew them what a Noble Victory it is over an Enemy to overcome him with the Weapons of Kindness by doing him good Offices and what happy effects attend this Christian Temper Acquaint them likewise with the many sad consequences of Revenge whereby such Persons who give way thereto seldom fail to bring upon themselves if not their whole Family utter Ruin and Destruction Parents ought so much the more to strive to beget a mighty Sense of this Duty upon their Childrens minds because it seems most of all other thing to be neglected by the generality 〈◊〉 Christians If you find your Châ—â—dren apt to be very Jealoâ—â— and Suspicious endeavoâ— to free them from so bad Temper which will lay the foundatioâ— of perpetual uneasiness and disquiet 〈◊〉 it be not speedily cured Strive 〈◊〉 make them think favourably and 〈◊〉 hope and believe the best of everâ—â—body Shew them how much bettâ— it is to be mistaken often in their
but did it not they punished him severely for they judged that they who were unthankful would also neglect their Duty to God to their Parents their Country and Friends Amongst other things to be suggested to your Children to stir them up to be Thankful you may represent to them what a shame it is for them to be unthankful when the very Beasts both Tame as may be seen every day and wild as several Authors tell us do things which look like a grateful acknowledgment to their Benefactors If you find them to be of too Prodigal a Temper apt to be too profuse in their Expences ready to throw away their Money upon Trifles and when there is no reasonable occasion for it you ought by all prudent and proper Methods to endeavour to make them a little more discreet and careful That they waste nothing in vain that may be of use to poor People That they do not throw away that which may do good at some time or other Suggest often to them that we are Stewards of whatever God bestows upon us that he will call us to an Account and that therefore we ought to employ to good purpose all those good things he gives us Shew them what our Saviour said to his Disciples after he had fed five thousand men with five Loaves and two Fishes Joh. 6. 12. When they were filled he said unto his Disciples Gather up the fragments that remain that nothing be lost He would not have any thing lost 〈◊〉 thrown away unnecessarily whi◠might be useful afterwards to one 〈◊〉 other If you find them of a Covetous Temper endeavou◠to enlarge their thoughts b◠the Principles of Christian Charity Shew them what an excellent thi◠it is to do good to shew mercy an◠kindness to make Peoples hearts glad◠Accustom them to the doing such kin◠and charitable Offices for which en◠give them now and then money an◠other things to bestow on those wh◠are poor and needy Shew them th◠evil of Covetousness that it 's the ro◠of all evil that it take◠the heart off from God an◠rendereth it unfit for th◠consideration of Divin◠things and for all worthy and useful designs that it disposeth◠man for the basest and vilest action◠and undertakings as it did Judas to betray his Lord That it bereaves him of true repose and satisfaction of mind and pierceth him through with many sorrows 1 Tim. 6. 9. 10. If you perceive them to be naturally melancholy and fearful of every little thing endeavour to chear up their Spirits Suggest to them such considerations and possess them with such Maxims and Principles as tend to fortifie their minds against those things which are apt to make them uneasie and are the occasion of their fear If their distemper proceed from some bodily indisposition as oft-times it does use such helps as are necessary When such evil habits of body are once rooted and strongly fixed and when the blood and spirits are deeply infected therewith they are a very grievous clog to the Soul and a great hindrance to that chearfulness and liberty of Spirit wherewith people ought always to endeavour to serve God If you see them to be of too gay and airy a Temper so that they cannot fix and be stayed at any time you are to use a great deal of prudence and discretion to compose and settle their Spirits See that they use their Wit and Fancy without giving offence and that they hurt no body by indecent reflections Let them by no means take liberty to indulge their humour in jesting about things that are Sacred or that have any relation thereto But you are to take heed lest your endeavouring to cure one fault occasion another lest your striving to deliver them from one extream drive them to the contrary that is lest instead of their being too gay you make them melancholy and dull Their Wit and Spirit is not to be rooted out but reformed and rightly managed for this may be of use for seasoning and sweetning Conversation If you observe them to be rash and forward ready to speak and act without due consideration strive to make them more cautious and circumspect to reflect and think a little more on what they say and do lest otherwise they fall into a habit of speaking and acting impertinently and indiscreetly When they say or do a foolish thing for lack of consideration then take occasion to make them sensible what a shame it is for them to do so what a reproach to those who are reasonable Creatures to speak and act like Fools without Reason and Understanding Shew them some of the bad consequences which attend speaking and acting in this manner Particularly that such Persons not only expose themselves to Contempt and Scorn but likewise to a great deal of danger and trouble Tell them how a great many by their rash and unadvised though not ill intended Speeches and Actions have not only highly exasperated their Enemies but also provoked their Friends and forfeited their kindness which thereby has been changed sometimes into the utmost Indignation and Hatred Shew them how some by this means have lost their Estate their Honour and Life it self and not only have ruined themselves by their rashness and folly but likewise a great many of their best Friends and dearest Relations A due sense of these things ought to excite all Parents to do what they can to render their Children very considerate and wary in whatever they say or do And because for lack of knowledge and experience they are in hazard to fall into many miscarriages and to commit great absurdities if they govern themselves wholly by their own fancy and apprehension or by their inclinations and desires therefore direct them to ask you or to ask others whom you recommend to them whether it be fit for them to do this or that which they have a mind to do It will be of unspeakable advantage to them all their Life long to learn this piece of Wisdom betimes to wit to be jealous and not too confident of their own Apprehensions and Opinions and to have a great regard for the Judgment and Opinion of others Solomon makes this a distinguishing Mark betwixt a wise Man and a Fool that the way of a Fool is right in his own Eyes and therefore he scorns to ask the opinion or to follow the advice of others but he that hearkeneth unto Counsel is wise Prov. 12. 15. Thus you are to make it your Business to watch over your Children and to consider what are their defects and faults and to do all that you can to cure them thereof and to direct them in the ways of Wisdom and Virtue You are careful to pluck up the weeds in your Gardens while they are yet young and not deeply rooted lest otherwise the good Seeds should be choak'd up with them How much more careful ought you to be lest the Souls
of your Children should be over-run with vicious Qualities If your Childrens Limbs are crooked and very deform'd you are at great pains and sometimes at no small charge likewise so long as there is hopes of Success to make them straight and comly Ought you not to be at as much pains at least for their Souls Ought you not to do what in you lies to shape and frame them to Virtue and Piety that they may become amiable and acceptable in the sight of God 5. Duty to see that they be taught to Read Fifthly When once they are of an Age fit for it see that they be taught to read And if you have not leisure or perhaps have not skill to teach them your selves you must be careful to make choice of a skilful and discreet Person to do it who by his teaching and Example may train them up both in Knowledge and Virtue who may not only tea◠them to know the Letters to spel◠exactly to read distinctly to write well c. but also to know themselves to remember their Creator in the days 〈◊〉 their Youth to hate every evil way and to take delight in the ways of God's Holy Commandments If a careful choice be made of a wise and faithful◠School-Master for your Children i◠will render your work so much the mor◠easie Having sent your Children to School you must keep them there and not by your too great fondness make them long to be at home and grow weary and uneasie at School A great many indiscreet Parents ruin their Children by immoderate kindness they cannot endure that they should be out of their sight one day They are afraid lest they that teach them should correct them and therefore they give them a strict charge not to do it and if they do it never so gently and discreetly without more ado they remove their Children from them and discharge their Passion against them as the greatest Tyrants in the World 'T is true some who have the Charge of Children are very indiscreet in correcting them they pass beyond all Bounds of Moderation and by their Tyrannical carriage towards them they do them a World of Mischief in many respects As for such School-Masters Parents ought if it be possible to avoid sending of their Children unto them But when once they have made choice of those who are not only Pious but Wise and Discreet Persons who are skilful in the way of Teaching and are of a calm and mild Spirit they ought to be so far from restraining them that they should rather encourage them to correct them whenever there is any necessity for it And if at any time their Children complain to them of their having been Corrected they ought to let them know that they are very well pleased that they have been corrected for their Faults and that they will thank their School-Master for having done so Unless such a Power as this be given to those who teach Children there is no great probability of their doing much good to th◠far greatest part of them For as Solomon says Prov. 22. 15. Foolishness 〈◊〉 bound in the Heart of a Child and therefore there is need of the Rod of Correction to drive it far from him ' T◠but too manifest that Children wh◠know their Parents Fondness prove unruly and untractable and do generall◠become very wicked and naughty When once they find themselves a Liberty and see that they are in 〈◊〉 great danger of being curb'd and restrain'd they are apt to follow th◠Biass of their corrupt Inclinations And then it often cometh to pass what is said by the Wise Man Prov. 29 15. A Child left to himself bringeth 〈◊〉 Mother to shame The Mother only 〈◊〉 mentioned because ordinarily she 〈◊〉 more apt to exceed just Bounds in he◠Indulgence and consequently has 〈◊〉 great Hand in spoiling her Child An◠besides when her Child brings hurt an◠disgrace upon himself by his wicked and foolish Courses she useth to be more deeply affected therewith through the tenderness of her nature and the strength and violence of her Affection and Passion Now to stir up Parents to take care their Children be taught to read at least the Holy Bible let them consider that this Sacred Book will instruct them in the Art of being happy how to be saved how to obtain a Crown of Glory how to purchase an enduring Substance a Pearl of great price and a Kingdom which cannot be shaken It will teach them true Wisdom how to avoid Sin and to escape Danger how to resist the Devil to stand against his Wiles to quench his fiery Darts how to overcome the World and to mortifie the Flesh with its Affections and Lusts how to subdue their natural Corruption and to conquer all their wicked Habits and Customs how to redeem the time how to carry themselves as they ought to do in their several Capacities and Relations wherein God hath placed them in the World how to enjoy satisfaction and contentment in every state and condition of Life How to use aright the things of this World how to improve Prosperity and how to reap advantage from Adversity how to dwell at ease and to enjoy real Peace and Comfort amidst the greatest Vexations and Confusions that can happen All these things the Holy Scriptures will teach both you and them if they are read as they ought to be to wit with a serious and humble mind with an earnest desire to know the Will of God and with a firm and sincere Resolution to do it And therefore how careful ought you to be in so considerable a part of your duty towards your Children If your condition in the World is such as disables you from doing much for them as to their outward Estate yet if you do this it may prove unless it be their own fault of unspeakable advantage to them and in some sense better than a great Portion or than a gainful Trade as may appear from what has been said When once they can read tollerably well in the Holy Bible be careful that they do it more or less every day See that they do it with great Reverence as being the Word of God Cause them to consider who it is that speaketh to them therein and what it is that he commands promises or threatens direct them at first to read such places as are most easie to be understood and which are apt to make the deepest Impressions After they have read see what they remember cause them to tell you what they can call to mind Explain to them so far as you are able what they do not know especially in such things as are most useful to make them wiser and better Appoint them now and then a verse or two to get by heart cause them to repeat them with due Gravity let them not do it in a trifling manner as if they were telling a silly Story Do not appoint them too many things to
and to do The careful and Religious use of it would tie Children more strictly to mind the great concerns of their Souls it would afford them occasion to consider what it is to have been Baptised and to be a Christian It would work in them a more Powerful Sense of the Obligations of Christianity and make them more careful to live up to that Holy Religion whereof they made so publick a Profession It would make them more afraid to do bad things against which they had protested so solemnly And not only fear but shame in this case would restrain them from doing wickedly This would be to young People a great defence against Temptations Bad Men would not so boldly ask them to sin if they knew they had openly and Solemnly disowned and renounced them and all their wicked Courses and if they were tempted they would be more apt to say in their own minds Shall we do such wicked things and run the hazard of being Covenant-breakers and Perjured Persons Shall we commit such Villanies and practice such Abominations and thereby break our Solemn Vow and Engagement Shall we by our Folly and Impiety give occasion of Offence and Scandal to the Church of Christ which he hath purchased with his Blood Shall we renounce the Captain of our Salvation and prove Deserters who have so lately vowed to renounce the Devil and all his Works What a mighty defence would this be to your Children when Assaulted by the fiery Darts of the Devil the Vanities of the World and the Lusts of their own Deceitful Hearts to consider that by their own actual Consent they have renounced all these and given up themselves into the Hands of God to be kept by his Mighty Power through Faith unto Salvation They have Vowed and they ought to perform it to keep his Righteous Judgments These things being impartially considered should mightily excite Parents to see that their Children do openly and Solemnly proâ—ess their Faith in Christ Crucified their Resolution to Obey him to Serve him and Love him to fight under his Banner against Sin the Devil and the World and to continue his Faithful Souldiers and Servants unto their lives end Is not this your Glory that your Children are Christians And do you think it a Shame or Dishonour for you or them if they make a Solemn Profession of their Christianity that they avoâ— their Religion and will by God's help make good the Promise which was made in their Name in Baptism Of so great Importance is this Custom that the greatest Men amongst the Reformers did highly commend it and did earnestly wish that it might be restored as a thing of great use towards the reviving the true Spirit of Christianity 8. Duty to encourage them to come to the Lord's Table Eightly When they are fit for it you should encourage them to come to the Table of the Lord that they may be strengthened in their most Holy Faith and further assured of the Love of God that they may make a publick Profession of their Christianity of their Love to their Lord and Master Jesus of their Charity to all Men and of their sincere Affection to those who are Christ's Members and Followers They ought to make use of this Holy Sacrament that their Love to their dearest Lord and Saviour may be kindled and enflamed by remembring his Love and shewing forth his Death that they may bind themselves more strictly to Serve and Obey him and to fulfil their Baptismal Engagement How glad should Parents be to see their Children advanced to this Honour to eat and drink at their Lord's Table to partake of so great a Testimony of his Kindness and Friendship How earnestly should they encourage them to embrace this opportunity of renewing their Covenant with the Lord to live and to die his Faithful Servants Do you not desire to have them saved to have them delivered from their Lusts and Passions their Pride and Vanity their Bitterness and Wrath their Malice and Envy and from all manner of Sin and Folly To be made pure and clean in Heart and Life to be made meet for that Holy Place where no unclean thing can enter Do you not desire that their Sins may be blotted out that they may be washed with the Blood of their Saviour And yet do you not advise and entreat them for their Souls Health and Safety to come to the Holy Communion which is designed as a means for these excellent and great Ends and Purposes to as many as are qualified according to the Terms of the Gospel that is who unfeignedly repent of their Sins and believe in the Lord Jesus with all their Heart But alas how far are too many Parents from doing this for their Children How many do either wholly or for the most part neglect and slight this Holy Ordinance themselves as if our Lord had without any just or necessary ground appointed it How can such Persons expect the precious Fruits of the Death of Christ who will not remember his Death when he so lovingly and kindly calls and invites them to do it Do this says he in remembrance of me What a great Argument is it of a wonderful decay of true Piety and Religion in the World when Men do thus despise and set at naught the kindness of their Lord and Saviour When they refuse to do a thing so just and reasonable and so easie as this is which tends so much to his Glory and their own true Happiness and Welfare both here and hereafter 9. Duty to take care that they accustom themselves to Self-Examination Ninthly When they are fit for it see that they accustom themselves to Self-Examination that they spend a few Moments every Night if another time of the Day be not more convenient for them to do it in in calling themselves to an account that they may see what good or what evil they have done that they may give Praise and Thanks unto God for any thing they have done which was good and right and that they may confess their Sins and Follies begging his Gracious Pardon and renewing their Purposes and Resolutions to do better for the time to come But besides these daily short Reviews of their Heart and Life 't is fit to call â—pon them when they are well advanced iâ— Years to a more strict and Solemn Examination of themselves to Prayer and Fasting as their Age and Strength can bear it This may be done at first once a Month or once iâ— two Months or once a Quarter at least but after some time it may be done oftner according as your necessary Affairs and your Circumstances in the World will permit They who are Great and Rich ought so much the more frequently to call upon their Children to those private extraordinary Excrcises of Devotion because their outward Estate in the World does ordinarily afford them enough of time and leisure for such Performances if they will but redeem it from Idleness and
Infancy and in the days of their Youth when they were not so capable themselves to reflect thereupon it would have a great force upon Ingenuous minds to stir in them Pious and Religious Dispositions It would likewise very much serve this end if Parents would often reflect on God's kind Providences to selves and now and then talk of them to their Children and acquaint them sometimes with one Instance of God's care and kindness towards them and sometimes with another this would insensibly make an Impression on tender minds and in due time might bring forth good Fruits Shew your Children therefore How God was pleased to provide for you when you were in great necessity and want How he raised up Friends to help you in the day of your Distress How he preserved you from Danger How he delivered you out of many and great Afflictions and Troubles How he comforted you in the days of your mourning How he raised you up when you were brought very low How he defeated the designs of your malicious Adversaries How he disposed a great many uneasie and afflictive things sometimes for your Temporal and always for your Spiritual Advantage How he assisted and seconded your endeavours to serve him with great and unexpected Success How he rewarded and blessed you when you did those things which were good and right before him And how he punished and chastened you when you omitted your Duty or did and said a bad and wicked thing How he heard your Prayers and Granted you the desires of your Souls How he prevented you with his loving Kindness and tender Mercy How he satisfied your longing Souls with good things And how he deals with you exceeding abundantly above all that you could think or ask In this manner according as you have met with particular Instances of the good and kind Providence of God you ought at some times when you find it most likely to do good to talk thereof to your Children that thereby they may be awakened to observe and consider the Powerful Just Wise and Kind Providence of God and may be excited together with you to bless his Holy Name for his great his marvellous and undeserved Love towards you You ought also to discourse sometimes to them concerning some of the most Signal Instances of Divine Providence towards others which either you have observed your selves or which you have received an account of from Persons of very good Authority For Example Shew them how God has brought down proud and lofty Persons when their Hearts were lifted up How he covered them with Shame and Reproach and made them Loathsome Vile and Contemptible almost to every body And how he raised up humble and lowly Persons How he followed them with the Expressions of his Mercy and Love How he turned Peoples Hearts towards them inclining them to love and honour them and to do them many good and kind Offices This will tend to teach your Children Humility and to restrain them from Pride and Self-conceit Tell them what has befallen many Passionate and Impatient Men How they have run into the Pit of Destruction when they gave up themselves to to the Conduct of their own violent and unruly Passions And how the meek and patient Ones have been directed assisted and preserved by the good Providence of God And how they have enjoyed a great deal of Peace Joy and Happiness amidst the many Afflictions and Troubles they met with in the World This will tend to teach them to be meek to restrain their Passion and to beware of Impatience Tell them How God has punished those who have got Wealth and Riches by false unjust and indirect means How he has cursed their Estates and sent a moth into them which has in a short time insensibly wasted and consumed them And how he hath blessed the Estate and Substance of those who have got their Wealth by honest and lawful means This will tend to make them honest and sincere in their dealings in the World and to hate false and crooked ways Tell them how God has punished Cursers and Vain and False Swearers how the Curse has followed them how often it has happened to such Persons according to their mad and horrid Imprecations Tell them how God by very unexpected and surprising ways and means has discovered and cut off Traitors Murtherers Adulterers Thieves and Robbers False Witnesses c. Tell them how he has appeared sooner or later in behalf of his Servants and Children How he has wonderfully defended and preserved sincere and upright Men How he has avenged Innocent Blood How he has defended the Widow and Fatherless How he has heard the cry of the Stranger of the Desolate and Oppressed c. Such things as these being seasoâ—â—bly and frequently suggested to Children may at some time or other work upon their minds and cause thee to take notice of the Power Wisdom Mercy and Justice of God which they cannot do in good earnest but thâ—â— must needs be thereby stirred up to fear him to love him to obey him and to walk in his ways And tho' these things do not produce their effect at the very time when they are told yet some time or other they may catch hold of the minds of your Children and have a very powerful and lasting Influence upon them The Example of Faithful Abraham ought to excite you to do these things For this end did God acquaint him with what he intended to do to Sodom because he knew that he would improve all his Providences that he would not smother them in his own Breast but acquaint his Children and Family therewith that thereby they also might learn to be wiser and better that they might see the terribleness of the Divine Justice against Incorrigible Sinners and his Infinite Compassion towards those who fear and love him that they might know the Power and Efficacy of Prayer and see how ready the Lord is to hear all those who call upon him in earnest not only for themselves but also in behalf of others And the Lord said Gen. 18. 17. Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do and v. 19. For I know him that he will command or instruct as the word is used sometimes his Children and his Houshold after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do Justice and Judgment c. Suitably to this Example we find a general Command given to the Jews Deut. 4. 9 10. Take heed to thy self and keep thy Soul diligently lest thou forget the things which thine Eyes have seen and left they depart from thine heart all the days of thy Life but teach them thy Sons and thy Sons Sons Especially the day that thou stoodest before the Lord thy God in Horeb c. To the same purpose we find a Direction given them touching the Passover Ex. 13. 8. Thou shalt shew thy Son in that day saying This is done because of that which the Lord did unto me
when I came forth out of Egypt c. And v. 14. And it shall be when thy Son asketh thee in time to come saying What is this to wit that is said about setting apart unto the Lord the First-born That thou shalt say unto him by strength of Hand the Lord brought us out from Egypt from the House of Bondage And it came to pass when Pharaoh would hardly let us go that the Lord slew all the First-born in the Land of Egypt Therefore I Sacrifice to the Lord all that openeth the Matrix but all the First-born of my Children I redeem Likewise Josh. 4 6 7. 'T is said When your Children ask their Fathers in time to come saying What mean you by these Stones Then ye shall answer them that the Waters of Jordan were cut off before the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord when it passed over Jordan And these Stones shall be a memorial unto the Children of Israel for ever See also Exod. 10. 1 2. Joel 1. 2 3 4. From all which it appears how important and necessary a Duty it is for Parents to acquaint their Children with the Providences of God a due sense whereof will above all other things tend to make them wise and good Some Directions to Parents how to render their Endeavours effectual Now to render your Admonitions and all other Endeavours effectual for the good of your Children First you must give them good Example when you bid them read or pray or partake of the Holy Sacrament or attend the publick Worship you must so far as is needful and fit do the same things your selves When you exhort them to be humble to be of a mild and gentle Temper to bear patiently uneasie things to be sober and temperate to be Charitable to the Poor to judge favourably of those who differ from them in small matters not to be unkind or uncivil to any tho' they agree not in their Opinion with them in some lesser points of Religion but to love all those who fear and love God and who are Followers of Jesus Christ. I say when you direct and exhort your Children to do such things you must joyn with your Instructions a suitable Example let it appear to them that you your selves are Humble Mild Patient Sober Charitable Kind and Loving to all who are sincerely Pious and Virtuous without making any difference on the account of Indifferent things I mean such things which God hath neither commanded nor forbidden This is the only way to make your Instructions and Admonitions successful when in this manner you go before them your selves in the way wherein you desire them to walk Children learn more by the Eye than by the Ear if they see you do contrary to what you advise them they will be apt to think you do not believe what you say or that you are very cruel and unmerciful towards them to bind heavy Burdens upon them and not to touch them your selves And if you should constrain your Children to do what you do not your selves what would it signifie It would only make them Hypocrites and Dissemblers to do that which they have no Heart unto and which they are not perswaded to be their Duty Such Children when once the restraint and force which is upon them is removed will be sure to give themselves the full swing in all manner of Folly they will do those things which they have seen in you and learned by your Example But if you shine before your Children in the constant Practice of true Piety walking in the Fear of God and in Obedience to all his Holy Commandments your Example will propagate Religion more effectually than all the Admonitions and Instructions in the World And besides the Influence which your Pious Example is apt to have on your Childrens lives this is the way for you to entail a Blessing on your Posterity The Just Man saith Solomon Prov. 20. 7. walketh in his Integrity his Children are blessed after him And Psal. 112. 2. 't is said His Seed shall be mighty upon Earth the Generation of the Vpright shall Blessed And Ex. 20. 6. God hath prâ—â—mised to shew Mercy unto Thousands 〈◊〉 them that love him and keep his Coâ—â—mandments 2dly Chuse good Coâ—â—pany for your Childreâ— so far as you have oppoâ—â—tunity and ability to 〈◊〉 it otherwise neither your Admoâ—â—tions nor Examples will signifie mucâ—â— Their ordinary Company if naughtâ— will pull down faster than you are aâ—â— to build Corrupt Nature is easâ— drawn away by the Example and Aâ—â—lurements of Sinners This is like gâ—â—ing down hill which is easie consideâ—â—ing Mens natural bent anâ— Inclination Whereâ—â— Self-denyal and mortifyinâ— our Lusts and Passions 〈◊〉 more difficult especially at first 〈◊〉 going up hill When therefore yoâ— see your Children falling into the acquaintance of Vicious and Foolish Persons delay not to rescue them froâ— the Snare to break off their Familiâ—â—rity that they be not corrupted thereâ—by and utterly ruined We see hoâ— careful People are to keep their Children from those who have the Small Pox or any other infectious Distemper and yet what a strange madness is it for them to trust them to the Society of those whose Lives and Manners are full of the deadly Poyson of Sin which infects and kills the Soul As you ought to do all you can to preserve your Children from all sorts of vicious Company so particularly from Flatterers Endeavour to save them from this dangerous Snare than which there can be nothing of more dreadful Consequence unto them Such vile and servile Society will very quickly pull down all that you have built They will utterly corrupt your Children and render their condition desperate For when once they are under the power of Flatterers the Gate is thenceforth shut against Truth and against plain and upright dealing when their delight is only in those who praise and commend them in all they do or say when such who admire them and who study nothing but to please them in every thing right or wrong are their only Favourites to be sure they who are their Best and Wisest and most Faithful Friends who tell them the truth and speak not so much what may be pleasing as what may be profitable unto them will not be very welcome or acceptable to them And because such Flatterers are found often amongst Servants who in hopeâ— of serving their covetous or ambitious or perhaps other base and wicked designs do make it their business by all sorts of vile Compliances to gain the Favour and Love of the Children of Richer or more Honourable Persons Therefore 't is not only the Duty but the Interest of Parents to be very careful what Servants they receive into their Family or what Persons they admit to stay in their House knowing that according to the Proverb One Scabbed Sheep will infect the whole Flock The Example of the Psalmist ought to be a Rule in this matter Psal.
a very bad use of it so as to despise their reproofs and chastenings when they are more just and necessary Fourthly When it pleaseth God to visit them with sickness or any other adversity be sure to do all that you can to bear in upon their minds a sense of those things you are most desirous to have them touched with and which in time of their health they made but very little account of Affliction is the time in which God useth to work upon the hearts of People most powerfully and effectually then he awakeneth them and convinceth them of their sad and dangerous state he casts them down that being made sensible of their sin and danger he may again raise them up and speak comfortably to them I will allure her and bring her into the Wilderness and speak comfortably to her Hos. 2. 4. Therefore all they who sincerely desire to reclaim their Children or others from their bad and foolish courses ought to take the opportunity of their Sickness their Pain and Grief their Losses and Disappointments and of any other sorts of Troubles and Afflictions wherein they are that then they may suggest to them such counsels and advices as are proper for their Instruction their conviction and amendment At other times there are a great many things which are apt to hinder good Counsel from entring into the mind or from making any deep impression thereon Pleasures and Vanities are apt to choak the good Seed But when they are afflicted and humbled a little by some outward pressure or bodily distemper they are thereby somewhat better disposed to hear Friendly Admonitions and Counsels and to think a little more seriously of their ways and doings It is good for a Man that he bear the Yoke in his Youth He sitteth alone and keepeth silence c. Lam. 3. 27 28. When it hath pleased God to restore your Children to health or to deliver them from any other Affliction fail not to put them in mind of their afflicted Estate and of God's goodness towards them when they were in adversity Endeavour to make them sensible for what end God hath been so kind to them to wit that they may amend their Lives and bring forth Fruits meet for Repentance Strive to keep them mindful of their Purposes and Resolutions and press them to the fulfilling of them Stir them up to be thankful to God for his Mercy and to be very watchful lest Satan prevail over them any more Fifthly Be earnest in your Prayers to God daily for them that he would make them what he requires them to be his dutiful and obedient Children and Servants that he would give them his Holy Spirit to sanctifie and cleanse them to enlighten and direct them and to assist and strengthen them that he would season their Hearts with his Fear and Love that he would turn them from Sin and Folly and incline their Hearts to keep his Precepts always even unto the end that he would hold up their goings in his Paths that their footsteps may not slide that he would be their God and Guide their Sun and Shield and their Portion for ever that he would give every one of them those things which be best and most needful for them that he would Sanctifie every State and Condition of Life wherein his Providence doth place them If they are in a healthful and prosperous State pray to God to make them sensible of and thankful for his undeserved goodness and that he would preserve them from the snares and dangers to which Prosperity does expose them You see what was Job's constant course at the end of his Childrens Feasting Job 1. 5. He sent and Sanctified them and rose up early in the Morning and Offered burnt Offerings according to the number of them all For he said it may be my Sons have sinned and cursed God in their Hearts c. Again if they are in Sickness or any other Adversity beg of God to Sanctifie their Afflictions to make them blessed and happy means of their Reformation or of their Improvement in true Piety When you are about to instruct to admonish to reprove or to correct your Children pray to God to direct you by his good Spirit to do your Duty in an acceptable manner and that he would incline and dispose them to their Duty and make them Gainers by what you do or say for their good 'T is not always necessary for you in every particular Admonition or Reproof c. which you use towards your Children to make a Solemn Prayer by retiring into your Closet this ought to be done upon extraordinary Occasions but ordinarily it will suffice if you lift up your Hearts unto God in a short and fervent Ejaculation for his Direction and Blessing in what you are to do or say to your Children You have great encouragement to do this because you are assured that God heareth Prayer he hath said Every one that asketh receiveth So that either he will grant your Children what you beg for them or if they render themselves unworthy of the Mercy and Kindness of God by their perverseness and stubbornness yet you are sure of one thing that your Prayers are not lost they shall return into your Bosom God will plentifully reward your Piety your Charity and Zeal with more Grace here and Glory hereafter Now if it be the Duty of Parents in this manner to pray for their Children what shall be said of those who instead of praying for their Children curse them and use fearful Imprecations against them How dreadful a thing is it for those to whom it belongs to bless their Children instead of doing this to curse them How unnatural a thing is it instead of contributing to their Happiness to do their utmost to make them Eternally miserable 'T is true some Children are very perverse and wicked guilty of great stubbornness and disobedience and of great contempt aud neglect of their Parents But yet for all this Parents ought never to give over praying for them and if at any time their Passion and discontent occasion in their minds any thing that looks like a tendency to evil wishes or Imprecations against their Children let them with as great care endeavour to be delivered therefrom as they would from Fire if it broke forth in their Houses And indeed if they who have the worst Children did but consider what woful Effects do often attend such rash curses they would beware of using them though never so much provoked It is very observable that God often in his wrath and Vengeance heareth such Imprecations when uttered by Parents whereby he sheweth his just Displeasure and Indignation both against them and their Children From what hath been said Parents may see what they must do to render their Admonitions and all their other endeavours effectual for the good of their Children Some Motives to excite Parents to do these things Now to stir you up to
Ecclesiasticus 33. 18 19 c. Hear me O ye great Men of the People and hearken with your Ears ye Rulers of the Congregation Give not thy Son and Wife thy Brother and Friend power over thee while thou livest and give not thy Goods to another lest it repent thee and thou intreat for the same again As long as thou livest and hast Breath in thee give not thy self over to any For better it is that thy Children should seek to thee than that thou shouldest stand to their Courtesie In all thy works keep to thy self the Preeminence leave not a stain in thine Honour At the time when thou shalt end thy days and finish thy Life distribute thy Inheritance 4 thly 'T is the Duty of Parents to have their Will and Testament in readiness They ought while they are in Health to determine the several Proportions of their Worldly Goods which they intend to bestow on their Children and not to leave the doing of this till the very immediate approach of Death A wise Man ought so to dispose of his affairs in time that when he comes to die he may have as little work to do as is possible 'T is very unfit on many accounts to leave the ordering of those things which relate to a Man's Estate unto the last hour For 1. No Man knows if he shall have a leisurely Passage out of the World so as to have time to settle his affairs a thousand Accidents may prevent this of which see Discourse about the right way of Improving our Time Motive 2 d. 2 dly Tho' you should have time on your Death-Bed for ordering your Temporal Affairs yet what signifies Time considered abstractly and separately if you are not fit to use it For ought you know your Sickness then may so affect your Head that you shall not be able to act any longer as rational Creatures but must be governed and taken care of by others as if you were Children upon the Breasts or perhaps as Persons in a much more sad and lamentable condition Now therefore it is fit for all who are wise to provide against such Casualties and not to delay so important and necessary a work to an uncertain Moment 3 dly Supposing you have a leisurely passage out of this Life together with the use of your Reason all the while yet consider that you are likely to have enough to do in your last hours tho' the ordering of your Temporal concerns do not then lie upon your Hands Your Spiritual Enemies will very probably at that time muster up all their Forces and use their utmost Effort either to conquer you or to frighten and disturb you You will then find that all your Preparation is little enough that you may finish your course with Joy The sight of Death will make you see a great many things far otherwise than you saw them in time of Health The things of this Life will then appear very little and inconsiderable and Eternity will appear as a vast and boundless Ocean Your good actions will appear but very few and imperfect and your Sins and Follies very many and great Thus it is generally with the best and most Holy Persons and therefore 't is your wisest and safest course to dispatch not only as much of your great Business as you can before the approach of Death but likewise to dispose of your Worldly Concerns in such a manner that they may not prove a hindrance and a burthen to you at that time when you are to have a sharp Conflict with the King of Terrors But besides all these Considerations which ought to excite you to put your House in order in time of your Health consider farther that by so doing you will prevent a great deal of Trouble and Confusion and of Strife and Division which oft-times happen amongst Children when their several Portions are not assigned them by the Will of their Parents How sad is it to reflect upon so many Instances of this kind as have happened in our days It cannot but be look'd upon as a great Reproach to our Holy Religion to see Brethren and other near Relations contending and going to Law with one another and thereby laying the Foundation of lasting Variance and Discord of Bitterness and Wrath of Anger and Clamour of Malice and Envy c. which too often are concluded with the Desolation and Destruction of one or other of the contending Parties if not of the whole Family How needful therefore is it for Parents to make their Will in good time when they are in Health when their Understanding is good when their Memory is perfect when they are able to think of Business and to judge calmly and discreetly of what they do when they can call to mind what they owe and what is owing to them And because of the great Falsehood and Wickedness of the World by which it often happens that the true sense of Mens words are perverted it is likewise very fit that Parents in setting their House in Order have the advice of those who are Skilful Upright and Faithful Persons by whose Assistance their Will may be framed in such Terms and Expressions as may so far as is possible prevent the Cavils of Crafty and Ungodly Men. As Parents ought to use a great deal of Caution and Circumspection in all things relating to their last Will so particularly in the choice of Guardians for their Children who after their own Decease may act the part of Parents towards them and may promote their Happiness and Welfare both in Temporal and Spiritual things If you know amongst your near Relations those who are Wise and Prudent True and Upright Persons who fear and love God and of whose sincere kindness you have had long experience 't is very reasonable to prefer them before Strangers But if you have found others more sincere and upright more prudent and discreet more kind and loving more constant in their Friendship and more faithful to your true Interest than your nearer Relations have been you ought rather to entrust your Children to their care than to those who tho' your Kinsmen have given you no great ground to expect much kindness and faithfulness at their hands towards your Children If they have not been very faithful to you 't is but madness to expect that they should prove more Faithful to them Tho' they may grow better yet no wise Man ought to trust so great and dear a concern to such an uncertainty Thus I have shewed you what are the principal Duties you owe to the Souls and Bodies of your Children and what you are to do for them as to their outward Estate The above mentioned particulars earnestly recommended to Parents FRom what hath been said you may see what a weighty and difficult Charge you have the sense whereof should excite you to beg of God earnestly every day that he would direct and assist you to perform the Duties that belong
to their Fighting and Wrestling against their Enemies and bestowed on them a Crown of Glory and an Everlasting Inheritance when he hath broken their Bonds asunder wherein they were held and kept in Captivity and Slavery and hath put them into a state of perfect and glorious Freedom The consideration of these things should mitigate and asswage your Sorrow and Grief and fill you with unspeakable Comfort and Gladness But some are apt to say I should rejoyce if I thought that my Children who are dead were in Heaven But this I do not know As to this you are not to trouble your thoughts about it for God does not see fit to acquaint you with such things Secret things belong to God and things revealed to us and to our Children Deut. 29. 29. If your Children while they were alive minded good things and if you did your part to instruct them and to make them what God requires them to be you are not to be any further solicitous about their Everlasting state You are to hope that they are very happy and you are to comfort your selves with these thoughts Others are apt to say I am afraid that my Children are not in a happy state they did very bad things and used bad Company and therefore I have cause to fear and to be troubled about them now that they are dead As to such Parents who have had wretched Children they ought not to suffer their minds to be disordered and oppressed with Grief and Sorrow because their Children who died were wicked If they did their Duty to make them better if they advised and admonished them if they reproved them and as was fitting chastened them if they desired others to deal with them to see what they could do towards the reclaiming of them if they prayed to God for them and gave them a good Example They are not any further to be troubled and disquieted concerning them when God takes them into his own hand He is wise and good holy and just he does all things well for excellent and glorious ends and therefore Parents ought to leave them to his Disposal who is the Supreme Governour of the World and Judge of the whole Earth Whatever he does whether in Mercy or Justice is always best The Inhabitants of the other World who are translated into a state of Heavenly Glory are not under the power of such passions and partialities as govern us here below The glorified Parents of damned Children are not under any uneasiness on that or any other account The Will of God and his Glory is their all they know that whatever he does is most perfectly just and good and for his Honour and therefore all things afford them great Pleasure and Delight true and lasting Joy and Satisfaction of mind There 's nothing able to interrupt the happiness and joy of those in Glory They are perfectly and eternally delivered from all sort of evils both of sin and punishment They are placed above the reach of whatever may render them in the least uneasie But there is a third sort of those who are troubled not only because their Children were bad and prophane but because they were so through their example or neglect As for such I have already in general shewed them what they ought to do I shall only add That since they have been so faulty and defective in their Duty towards their Deceased Children they ought to be the more careful of those who are yet alive and to do all that is possible to make them what God requires them to be As to those who have no more Children left them it would be very fit for them to take into their care one or more Children upon whom they may bestow all that pains and care which they should have bestowed in the right Education of their own and endeavour by God's help to make them truly Pious and Religious and Patterns of all sorts of Virtue to others This is an Office which will be very acceptable to God and one of the best demonstrations which Parents can make of the sincerity of their Repentance for their not having done their Duty to their own Children Fourthly Consider that there will be a Resurrection of all those that are dead The mighty Power of God which made all things out of nothing will also gather together the scattered dust of those who are deceased and will reform and rebuild as it were their bodies which are fallen down and consumed He will raise them up again in a more excellent perfect and glorious manner Then shall you meet with your Children and Friends who died in the Lord and behold them after another manner than you saw them here in this World Instead of weak and diseased bodies you shall see them strong vigorous and lively bodies Instead of frail and dying bodies you shall see immortal and incorruptible bodies Instead of filthy and vile bodies you shall see pure and glorious bodies And you shall see them so as to be with them for ever so as never any more to be separated from them by death or any other thing for you and they shall die no more 1 Cor. 15. 42 43 44. So also is the resurrection of the dead It is sown in corruption it is raised in incorruption it is sown in dishonour it is raised in glory It is sown in weakness it is raised in power It is sown a natural body it is raised a spiritual body And vers 53. This corruptible must put on incorruption and this mortal must put on immortality How gladly would poor People part with their dearest Children if they could be assured of seeing them again in an honourable state and condition exalted to great Dignity and Honour And will not you who have the hopes of a glorious Resurrection be comforted in the absence of your Children When their merciful God and Father takes them away from you unto himself not to do them hurt but good to make them happy and blessed with himself for ever to bestow upon them what Eye hath not seen nor Ear heard nor which hath entred into the Heart of Man to conceive Consider the words of the Apostle to the Thessalonians 1 Epist. 4. 13 14. But I would not have you to be ignorant Brethren concerning them which are asleep that ye sorrow not even as others which have no hope For if we believe that Jesus dyed and rose again even so them which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him Fifthly Your giving way to excessive Grief and Mourning can do you no good but will certainly do you a great deal of hurt and mischief in many respects It cannot bring back your Children that are dead Though you should break your Hearts into a thousand pieces by your weeping and mourning and waste and consume your years in constant heaviness and sorrow tho' you should never henceforth allow your selves one moment of relaxation of mind after all you must go to
7. 12. All things whatsoever ye would that Men should do to you do ye even so to them Some Motives to excite Guardians to do these Things The first thing which should stir up Guardians to perform their Duty towards their Pupils is A Sense of Justice When they are chosen for this End if they have no mind to undertake such a Charge or if they cannot attend it they ought to declare so much and peremptorily to refuse it that so care may be taken to get some other Body who will undertake it But when once they have undertaken it they ought to make Conscience of it and to do all that is in their power for the Childrens welfare and happiness in every thing 'T is both their Duty and Interest to fulfill their Ingagement and to act that part which they have undertaken which if they perform wisely and faithfully then they may expect the Praise Love and Esteem of not only the Children themselves and of their Relations but likewise of all good and worthy Persons who see or hear of their Fidelity and Carefulness for the benefit of their Pupils If Care is not taken in this manner to fulfill what is undertaken to be done and if there is no respect had to Covenants Trusts and Ingagements then the very Foundation of the Happiness of Society is subverted If there is no regard to Truth and Justice what a miserable thing must it be to live in Society To be united by any civil â—yes to those whose Promises and Ingagements are worse than none at all 2. Does not A Sense of Honour oblige Guardians to be careful of their Pupils and true and faithful to them 'T was the Opinion of their kindness and faithfulness and of their fitness and worthiness for such a Charge which made them be chosen before others And therefore if they have any thing in them of true worth if they have any sense of Honour they must needs strive to answer the Expectation of those who have testified so great a value and esteem for them 3 dly Does not Charity oblige Guardians to do these things Orphans have always been reckoned amongst the greatest Objects of Charity especially when they are very Young and are not able either in respect of Body or Mind to do any thing for themselves So great is God's Compassion and Tenderness towards such Children that he has been Graciously pleased to declare himself to be The Father of the Fatherless 'T is therefore the Duty of All who are Followers of God as dear Children especially of those who are chosen to perform so Charitable an Office as this I say it is their Duty to omit nothing that is needful to be done for the benefit of Fatherless Children both in their Spiritual and Temporal concerns We see a very worthy President and Example in Mordecai Esth. 2. Esther's Father and Mother being dead Mordecai took her and she was to him as his own Daughter How careful was he both of her Soul and Body How well did he instruct her As may be easily gathered from her Wise and Pious Carriage and Behaviour And when she was taken from him we find he was still mindful of her for v. 11. 't is said Mordecai walked every day before the Court of the Womens House to know how Esther did and what should become of her We find him likewise from time to time giving her his best Advice how to carry her self and how to glorifie God in that Honourable State to which it had pleased him to raise her How worthy is such an excellent Pattern as this of the imitation of all those who are called to be the Guardians the Guides and Defenders of Fatherless Children And for their encouragement let them consider how richly God did reward the Charity and Piety of Mordecai not only in raising him up to great Honour by Esthers means but also by making her the Instrument of preserving his Life and the Lives of all the Jews who were in the Provinces belonging to Ahasuerus From what hath been said it appears how great Reason there is for Guardians to be true and faithful to the Interests of their Pupils and to do all that ever they can for their Spiritual and Temporal Advantage Now if it be their Duty to do so what shall be said of those who are not only careless of seeking their good but do likewise too successfully seek their hurt and ruine As to their Souls they corrupt and poyson them by their wicked Example and by Atheistical Principles which they instill into them they breed them up in all manner of Licentiousness As to their Bodies they either too far gratifie their vanity and folly or they are too niggardly towards them in withholding from them not only Conveniencies but Necessaries As to their outward Estate they either suffer them to live idly or they put them forth to some Trade or other very unfit and unsutable to them And when they are fit for Marriage they force them to Marry as they think good according as they see it will best serve their own private and worldly base and vile Interests without ever regarding the Happiness of their Pupils As for their Patrimony and Inheritance they are so far from improving it that they impair it wofully and sometimes quite consume and waste it they study a great many Arts and Wiles to ruine the poor Children whom they have got into their merciless hands Instead of proving their Guardians they prove their Robbers instead of being as Parents to them they prove betrayers of them and their most Dangerous and Cruel Enemies But shall they escape who do such things No They shall not He who is the helper of the Fatherless will plead their Cause and will avenge them of those Treacherous and Perfidious Persons For He beholdeth mischief to requite it Ps. 10. 14. I shall conclude this Advice with what is written Ex. 22. 22. c. Ye shall not afflict any fatherless Child If thou afflict them in any wise and they cry at all unto me I will surely hear their cry And my wrath shall wax hot and I will kill you with the Sword And your Wives shall be Widows and your Children Fatherless And Prov. 23. 10 11. Enter not into the fields of the Fatherless for their Redeemer is mighty He shall plead their Cause with thee PRAYERS FOR FAMILIES A Morning Prayer for Parents or Masters of Families with their Family O Most Gracious and Merciful Lord God who affords us thy unworthy Servants the Honour and Liberty of drawing near unto thee Assist us by thy good Spirit to Worship thee with sincere Devotion to lift up Holy Hands without wrath and doubting We acknowledge O Lord we deserve not to appear in thy sight for we are not only Vile and Sinful by Nature being the corrupt Posterity of Sinful Parents but likewise we are Guilty of a great many actual Transgressions in our Thoughts Words and Deeds