Selected quad for the lemma: duty_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
duty_n	good_a	know_v	see_v	1,978	5	3.1860	3	true

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A40384	The government of a wife, or, Wholsom and pleasant advice for married men in a letter to a friend / written in Portuguese, by Don Francisco Manuel ; with some additions of the translator, distinguished from the translation ; there is also added, a letter upon the same subject, written in Spanish by Don Antonio de Guevara, Bishop of Mondoñedo ... ; translated into English by Capt. John Stevens.; Carta de guia de casados. English	Mello, Francisco Manuel de, 1608-1666.; Guevara, Antonio de, Bp., d. 1545?; Stevens, John, d. 1726.	1697 (1697)	Wing F2062; ESTC R17060	99,081	268

time to look about him The least Delays are of dangerous consequence an immediate Cure must be applied he must cut off that Conversation before it take Root she must be held back before she is quite lost Where the Devil finds a hot but indiscreet Zeal he blows it into a Flame till it consume it self The Bellows he makes use of are those Canting false Prophets who pretending to the Word of God have no other Sound but the Voice of Hell These are the Idols some VVomen adore to them they make their Offerings and if not prevented to them they fall down them at first they make the Keepers of their Wealth and at last of their Honour These are the Thieves who rob Families insensibly of their Wealth the Enemies who sow the Tares of Sedition between Married People while they sleep and the false Lights that misguide frail Vertue till it tumbles headlong into the Precipice of Vice As these Vipers are to be excluded the House so must a Woman wholly be debarred frequenting their Sermons hearing their Doctrine or being seen in their Congregations It is enough she be allowed her Parish or those Churches where most Decency is observed that she frequent them on the proper Days at most seasonable Hours that she go with modest Company that at other times she pray in her Closet Let her not go thro' the Church as if she were at a Play not go to see and endeavour to be seen not take much Greatness upon her since in the sight of God the meanest is as acceptable as the greatest not Pray aloud not crowd to be the first out nor stay the last Some Men indiscreetly fly from one Extream into another because there is danger in Hypocrisy they hate all that looks like Devotion because there are Pharisees they can endure no Church-men If one enters the House some leave them with their Wives pretend Business and fly their Company others indeed will stay but grow uneasy afford not a pleasing Look nor obliging Word Honour should oblige them to stay good Manners to be civil Church-men are to be treated with respect it is better not admit then once admitted not to shew them a good Countenance To speak the truth I am much of the opinion of one that used to say He had a great respect for Church-men therefore if they were bad he would not encourage them to be worse and if good would not give them an opportunity of being bad in his House Another more nicely said They were only good in four places at the Altar in the Pulpit and in the Confession-Seat and being asked a fourth Answered a Picture A Wife ought always to be Dressed neat and decently in the House her Servants should never see her in any unbecoming Garb. As she is obliged to endeavour to please none in the World but her Husband so she should always appear to him as if all the World saw her There is no necessity a VVoman should always be set out in the House in all the Formalities of a strict Dress conveniency and ease has found out what is called Undresses as Decent as Becoming and as Modest Some are no sooner Married but they grow careless either through Affectation or natural Laziness They all use the same Plea to wit That they are Married The same Arts they used to gain a Husband the same they ought to use to preserve him Yet VVomen would all appear like Angels abroad and value not many of them how like Devils they look at home They will be seen Gay and Glorious by those they pretend not to regard and be always Discomposed and Loathsom in the Eyes of him they ought alone to oblige Nor does it end here they will receive Visits and expose themselves in that unseemly manner to the Eyes of their Friends or those who only pretend to be so This is a contempt of the Person received and a great lessening of her that receives the Visit To appear in a disagreeable Garb to the Husband breeds Distaste to be seen so by Strangers produces Contempt To this purpose a Courtier being invited by a Friend and ill treated ingeniously said to him I thought we had not been such intimate Friends Some Men there are who proud of their Wives Ablilities or Beauty make them the common Subject of their Discourse and take all opportunities to shew Them and their Perfections This looks as if they exposed them to Sale and is exposing their Vertue to be tryed for the more Beautiful the more Charming a Woman is the more others as well as the Husband will affect her and the more he makes her Publick the less worthy of her will she and they believe him I do not pretend he should not be free and easy with his Friends that he should not Entertain them in his own and be Entertained in their Houses that he should hide his Wife and be afraid of every body that sees her either Excess is equally bad his House must neither be a Goal to her nor a Publick Place of Entertainment for all the World it is fit she grace his Table when he invites his Friends and familiar Acquaintance not that she be made the Discourse of his wild and extravagant Companions It is the Duty of the Wife to see all things be in good order that nothing be wanting to be pleased and easy with her Husband's Guests and to know without being bid to withdraw if requisite and when to stay if convenient Her Behaviour will produce respect if good and all that see it will look upon her as we do upon things Holy at a distance without presuming to approach I cannot forbear speaking one word of a certain sort of Matrons who right or wrong will wear the Breeches and be absolute within doors these ground their Pretensions to that usurped Power on being very Vertuous very Wise or of very great Birth and sometimes when the Husbands are Mild good Natur'd or Loose Livers they compass it without alledging any of those Titles If once the Husband discovers any such Design in his Wife let him look narrowly to her for if once she gets the upper hand of him she will never give over till he entirely becomes her Slave I knew one who finding his Wife upon these Terms said to her Madam I will carry you home to your Father and then will take a course at Law with him to recover my Wife and she asking of him Why he said so he answered Because you are not my Wife but my Husband An ingenious and pleasant Married-man used to tell me It was impossible but Women would command their Husbands but that all a good Man could do was to endeavour it should be as late as possible For my part I can no way allow it should ever come to pass no Man of sence will allow of it and no Woman that loves her Husband desires it I have not yet spoke of the Management of Houshold Affairs and they

their own imperfect Language it suffices to see love and take care of their Education All other Fondness belongs to the Mothers who are not at all to be imitated in those Actions nor that Care and Employment usurped by the Father I just now remember a Passage which shall not be omitted ' tho perhaps it may not be thought much to the purpose A great Minister who was much Courted had a little Son that used to come into the Room where he heard all Men of Business among the rest there was one very Antient of great Quality and who had Affairs of great importance in hand he used to Converse very much with the Child and the Spirit of Dissimulation and Flattery had so far taken possession of him that he did many absurd things and another who had Business there and saw it said of him Indeed it is strange that Interest should make such a one less among another Man's Children than Love makes us among our own Take what follows for a Jest or for Advice which you please When God gives you any Daughters let every one have but one usual and easy Name according to your Fancy or Devotion I look upon the Custom of giving a whole Catalogue of Names and many hard and extravagant ones at last to be very impertinent Women are much addicted to this new sort of soppish affected Grandeur and sometimes it happens that she who was Christned and always known to be plain Mary or Frances heaps upon her self a dozen other hard Names that are enough to puzzle an University and this they do only because they heard such and such Ladies so called This Tale is not unpleasant In a Neighbouring Village the Daughter of a Yeoman was carryed to be Baptized he understanding a Noble Man's Child had not long before received Three Names there in Baptism this Grandeur being cheap he resolved to strain the Point yet farther and ordered his Daughter should have Four Names The Curate having heard them said to the Godfathers Gentlemen choose one of all these Names for I have a weak Memory or else I vow I will Baptize her without any Name or send her home as she came till ye there agree what Name to fix upon I had like to have omitted one particular that deserves to be considered and which ought not to be passed in silence since I handle so many small Affairs Men very often are guilty of one Extream or other when their Wives are in Labour some are as diligent and busy as the Midwife others fly and think they can never be far enough from them An arch Youth who was of the latter Humour used to say That if he Married it should be in July And being asked Why Answered Because if I prove so unlucky as to have my Wife Lye-In it may fall out in March and then I may find Shipping for India whither I will choose to go rather than see her in that condition The love a Man bears his VVife may be the best Counsellor upon this occasion and this natural Inclination will guide him I blame not those who at that time would wish they could be every thing for to be assisting I condemn those that will be nothing it is improper to go abroad because there are many Accidents wherein a Man's Presence is required it is enough for every Man to be in his Chamber and there with an equal constancy receive the Joyful or Dismal News The Saying of a Spanish Nobleman will be some Diversion amidst this serious Discourse He was a General and one of his Captains sent him a Letter begging leave to go home to be present at the Birth of a Child The General writ this Answer I would be glad to be at home when I had a Child but to be present at the Birth signifies nothing The Corruption of the World which daily encreases has introduced choosing of lusty Country-women for Nurses instead of Vertuous and well Qualifyed Women as was formerly used VVe first descended from Mothers to Nurses and are now come from good Nurses to bad ones but it is the Fashion so let it pass Yet it seems to be contrary to the Duty of the Mother for as a VVise Man observed She maintains us nine Months in her Bowels before she sees or knows us then why when she sees and knows us does she cast us off and find another to maintain us I could wish to see the Children of my Friends suck good Milk not only in relation to the Soundness of the Nurses Body but to the good Disposition of her Soul I have not hitherto in any Point opposed the Opinion of my Author not because it was infringing the Rules of a Translation but because his Counsels have been good and not to be objected against with Reason I must incur the Censure of some precise admirers of Antiquated Custom but I hope the Ladies will be of my side I have already Spoke as to the regard due to Antiquity when Experience has taught us better and more convenient Customs than our Forefathers left us It is to me preposterous that a Man can pretend to Love his VVife or indeed to have any regard for his own satisfaction and oblige the Mother to Nurse it can a Man make a Slave of her he Loves Can he be pleased she should not have a quiet Night Can he be satisfied to see her want an Hour of Rest in the Day There is nothing more vain than to think a Child is the less belov'd for being Bred abroad the Eyes of the Parents may be upon it and nothing will be wanting But supposing a Man to have so little regard of his VVife yet still sure in respect to his own quiet and satisfaction he would never endure all the impertinencies that attend the Breeding of Infants Milk is the Nourishment of the Body and not of the Soul therefore provided a Nurse be Sound and Healthy I cannot conceive what danger there can be in the Breast I shall as soon believe it may alter the shape as the inclinations of a Child As for the VVise Parallel between Nourishing the Child in the VVomb and Suckling it after it is Born it is not at all pertinent for no Argument can be drawn to prove that because a VVoman endures the Pain that Nature has indispensably laid upon her during that time she must intail Misery on her self for ever and doubtless there is none even the fondest of Mothers who if it were possible at any rate to transfer the sufferings of Child-bearing to another would not think the purchass cheap though at never so great a Price To prescribe Rules for the Education of Children is a matter of too large Extent and a Subject deserving a particular Treatise the business in hand is only to give some Instructions for a Marry'd Life towards making it the more easy and pleasing This is a proper place to speake of Bastard Children a very needless and often troublesome

short as we know by the Post that comes from any place what has happened there so by the words we discover how Affairs stand with the Brain whence they proceed The Women I know will look upon me with an ill Eye since I pretend to regulate their very Motions One of the most unsufferable things in them is the use of unbecoming Actions I know they have not all the same natural Air and Grace but they may all carry themselves with Gravity and Staidness There is a damn'd Word much in fashion that is Airiness and in plain English Airiness is Impudence I was about saying more but let this suffice It is a plain case that Airiness is bad because Gravity and Staidness is good No Toleration of this kind is to be given a VVoman it being absolutely as becoming for a VVoman to preserve a Decorum in these exterior Actions as for a stately Building to have a Noble Front to set it off What shall I say of Laughter If a Woman has white Teeth a pretty Mouth and Dimples in her Cheeks therein lies the greatest danger Some of these sort of Creatures will Laugh all the while at a Funeral Sermon only to expose their Treasure It is infallibly true that much Laughter betokens folly Far be it from me that I should perswade a VVoman to be always Melancholy this only serves to shew her Life is uneasy Let her be merry and laugh at home at her Table with her Husband Children and Friends when she goes abroad let her leave her Laughter at home as the Serpent that casts up its Venom before it drinks and after drinking swallows it again When she comes home let her resume her Mirth I have yet some scruple of Conscience about their Reading the best Book for them is their Needle and their Work yet would I not wholly debar them Reading I do not like them that will always be reading Plays that learn Parts and love to repeat them Others are mad for Novels and some for Plays The affection to these things is more dangerous than the use of them I do not deny but this Diversion may be allowed them but least to those who are most fond of it for they seem rather to affect the Parity of Thought than the Novelty of Story I would have no body delight in any thing but what is lawfully pleasing I will tell you a Passage I can never forget travelling in Spain I came into a Lodging cold and covered with Snow and could never prevail with the Landlady or either of her two Daughters to shew me a Room the more I pressed the more they assured me none of them would stir till they heard out a Novel that was very pleasing to them They valued not that I threatned to go to another Inn but rather invited me to sit with them and hear the pretty Courtship that was between Amouret and Phillis for that was the subject of the Novel In fine I went to another Inn and coming back that way soon after I enquired after the Mother and two Daughters that were so taken up with the Novel and was told That within a few days each of the Young ones had furnished Matter for another Novel having run away from the Town with two young Fellows approving themselves good Scholars of their so much admired Learning Well we are come to Sanctimony or rather Bigotry I have tired you and would fain run over this matter but fear I cannot It is a matter of greatest moment strive tho' it be against the grain to give attention and I will endeavour to speak with much circumspection VVe have seen many Persons of Note and well inclined under the specious pretence of Vertue led away to a disorderly course of Life The Devil sometimes deals with us as a Man that looks for another who if he sees him coming towards him stays there till he comes but if he sees him go another way then he puts on faster till he over-takes him The Devil for the most part does not go on to meet ill Livers because he knows they are coming towards him but it is after them who live well that he drives on with all possible speed Reformation of Manners is a good and holy thing but it has certain limits in respect to Married VVomen they must not apply themselves to Pious Exercises so as to neglect the Duties of their Family God has so ordained it that every one may be saved by performing what is incumbent on them with respect to their condition There are a sort of Men and VVomen in the VVorld who profess themselves Masters of Vertue whereas in reality they are not so much as Learners These often wind themselves into esteem of Pious Ladies and Persons of Quality without any consideration and guide them as blindly as they do themselves and as Experience has shewn us by dismal Examples The different Customs of Countries and even the difference of Religion are the Cause our Author here has made some Reflection and given such Counsels as are not at all suitable to us they will not be well understood by such as have not been abroad and tho' they were yet will they prove of no use here I have therefore thought good to omit them and substitute some parallel Observations more agreeable to the constitution of the Religious Bigotry in practice among us It is a commendable and ever approved custom of Ladies that aspire to Perfection in Vertue to give themselves up to the direction of some Spiritual Guide This I say is commendable when a VVoman casts her self upon such a Director as by the general approbation is allowed of sufficient Learning and tryed Vertue But how rare are those to be found There is nothing so pernicious as when a VVoman led by a blind Zeal commits the care of her Soul to those Pharisaical Hypocrites whose Godliness only consists in violent Railing in rowling their Eyes in the motions of their Heads and Hands and to be plain in diligently concealing their dear Enormities so much practised by themselves and so much inveighed against in others I will not speak of those Ladies who like these blind Guides and with their assistance make Sanctity the Cloak to cover their Lewdness There are few Men who know any thing of Intrigue and there are very few that do not but are themselves Judges how frequent that Practice is It is not these sort of Creatures we have in hand these are past Cure there is no hope of reclaiming them Interest is their God Pleasure their Paradise they are the most obstinate sort of Pagans for possessing at present their Deity and their Reward they will never be perswaded to leave them for a God and a Heaven to be possessed hereafter VVhen a Husband perceives his VVife whose Inclinations are Vertuous and who aims at true Piety fall ignorantly into the hands of one of those Hypocrites and suffer her self to be led by him it is then high

require much circumspection The House it self I would have compact I do not approve of wild Rambling Buildings full of Doors By Stairs and private Passages The Palaces of Kings and Princes are surrounded with Guards and Porters which prevent all Inconveniences might happen like Spikes set upon a low VVall. The Houses of Men of Quality which cannot be so well secured require some old and trusty Servants whom their Master should appoint to be watchful and vigilant Overseers of the good Order and Decency observed in the Family But the Husband is not wholly to rely upon them for as in War we think it not enough to post Centinels unless we keep continual Rounds upon them to keep them Waking and see they perform their Duty so the Master of a Family must perpetually have an Eye over those whom he has entrusted with the care of his Reputation I would have no Black or Tawny Women that go on Errands they generally prove Fruitful and in my opinion every slip of Theirs is a Scandal to the House for it is a shame such infamous Practices should be allowed in the face of a Lady and her Maids Little Black and Mullatto Boys are Devils incarnate naturally Buffoons and of a mischievous Wit they are pampered by the Maids and for Apples and Pears manage their Intrigues Gipsies Sanctify'd Women such as carry about Small-wares and some that sell things for less than they are worth are all pernicious Cattel Dumb Women are Vipers Landresses women that carry Nosegays others that either Buy or Sell grow familiar with the Maids and perswade them they cannot live without them as also Fortune-tellers and Mountebanks are not fit to be conversed with Jesters especially those who belong to Princes grow impudent upon the least incouragement Men that practice Slight of Hand those who mimick Sermons imitate Beasts and act other Men are a destructive Generation but above all those VVomen are so who sell VVashes for the Face take away Freckles make false Eye-brows and smooth the Skin those who go about Begging for others and Pedlars All this sort of People that usually resort to great Houses stick like Fish to the Rocks they are hard to remove but worse to be endured There must be Force used as well Industry to expel them for all this sort of Vermin only studies how to Cheat to Get to Steal to Lie to tell News and very often to bring and carry very scandalous Messages that redound to the Discredit of those Houses that entertain them from which God deliver all good People A Man of considerable Quality had a sick Daughter whom he kept very strictly She had a Gallant who used to write to her the Letter was rowled up and a Nosegay made upon it A Hypocrite under the habit of a Hermit used to talk to her Father and present him with the Nosegay as brought from the Altar of some Saint He was pleased and carried it to his Daughter and under those Flowers administred the Poyson he ought to keep from her and might be said to play the part of her Procurer VVho would have thought such Villany could lye hid under such fair Appearances as Sanctity and Flowers This made good the words of the Poet Latet Anguis in Herba The Snake lyes hid in the Grass Some Men and those of no small Note will employ their VVives to solicit their Business knowing they are often more successful than Men. I think there are but few Cases wherein it is lawful for a Man to take his Pleasure and send his VVife to speak and sollicit for him If the Husband be in Prison the Honour of the Family at stake if his good Name be in danger his Employment depend upon it if it be to get leave for him to come home when absent or to secure the Life of a Son in these Cases and no other it is fit for a VVoman to appear in Business and even then it is dangerous and does not always answer Expectation A certain great Minister used to give Audience to Ladies without his House in a place so retired it was suspicious Two Men of Quality carried their VVives thither to solicit their Business and putting them in withdrew others took notice of it and one of them said Indeed it was not well done of those Gentlemen to withdraw for their Presence credited their Business another Answered That is a Jest those Gentlemen do not desire to credit but to do their Business It was an excellent Saying of the Count de Vimioso That he who loses his Honour to do his Business loses both Honour and Business Let no Man of Sence and Honour endeavour to advance himself with such Danger VVhat can he expect to gain at last whose very Beginnings are built upon Losses Prudent Merchants insure their Goods of most Value A Vertuous VVoman must be like that Saint who never appears but in great Storms and then it is to bring help Let her be ready to assist in the Misfortunes of her House and to ease the Troubles of her Husband and Children Let her endeavour to deliver him and them from Disasters Let her be their Voice not their Sollicitor She may strive to help out in cases of Necessity not to carry on an Interest Married Women are pleased and obliged when their Husbands tell them what they know what they hear and what News there are about the Town To be too reserved is the way for a Man to be hated to be too open an infallible way to be despised A Man must choose a Medium between both those Extreams so that his Wife may not think he slights her nor he give occasion to be undervalued by her Our Women have a Saying That he who loves me tells me what he knows and gives me what he has A discreet Man will never tell his Wife the Stories of his Youthful Amours and Intrigues for they produce two ill Effects the one that they discover their own Frailties the other that they shew them how easily some Women are drawn in He must by no means ever entertain them with the Failings of other VVomen but if things happen to be mentioned that are so notorious they cannot be deny'd he may excuse them or evade the Discourse Let him always mention those Things with horror and lay all the blame of such Miscarriages upon the Husband ever excusing the Wife This will denote that a good Husband will not fail of a good Wife as it commonly happens and that he being such expects the like return from her We often see Married Women of untainted Reputation keep company and be familiar with some whose Credit is either quite lost or runs very low Much Prudence is requisite in this case but the safest course is wholly to avoid them Honour is like a Looking-glass any Stroke breaks it and the least Breath clouds it Perhaps some are the more free to converse with such Women relying upon their own unspotted Fame But the

have them made the Town-talk by putting them into the mouth of every impertinent Visitant But above all if those Complaints be unjust how much more unpardonable is the VVife that exposes the good Name of her Husband without any Fault committed on his side Any Discourse is more pardonable than that which is destructive of the Reputation of our Neighbour how much worse then must it be that strikes at the Credit of a Husband I come once more to Female Friends and cannot but observe That the name of Friends and Enemies in Portuguese differs but in one Letter the one being called Amigas the other Imigas I am so wicked to believe VVomens Friends have done them more harm than their Enemies Therefore I commonly say Men are ruined by their Enemies and VVomen by their Friends It is proper reasonable and good to go to Court but it must be very seldom as upon the Birth of Princes Marriages Festivals Sickness of Princes their Recovery upon occasion of Happy News and the like and not otherwise It is not so becoming to go alone let the Company be always good but not of Persons of greater Quality unless the first time for their Authority takes off from the Reception every one expects to find in Courts and all other places it often happens VVomen take upon them pretending to be in favour with Queens and Princesses this produces much Trouble and no Profit and sometimes they make use of this pretence to cloak all their loose Actions as some Servants who stop their Masters mouths when they have been idling abroad by saying They have been at Church Thus often good things are made a cloak for the bad Upon pretence of going to Courr VVomen grow idle and the care of the Family is neglected It is enough for a VVoman of Quality that the Queen knows her she will value her the more for carrying her self with Discretion those few times she sees her An Express raises the Expectation of all Men no body takes notice of the common Post It is dangerous and expensive for those who are not imployed in the Service of Princes to aim at their Favour A Courtier compared the Court that is to be made to Ladies and to Kings to the use of a Lemon and Orange the Lemon must be squeezed hard and it yields the better Juice the other is to be squeezed but lightly or else it is bitter Ladies require much Attendance Kings need only now and then be seen therefore one wisely said That Princes and Fire were best at a distance because near they Burn and at a distance give Light Too much preciseness in frequenting the Church is meerly Formality there is no doubt it is good and commendable to go to Church at the usual times and on proper days but all things that are good are not convenient at all times Let the VVife have reason to believe she may go always but let Kindness and Courtesy prevail with her to forbear sometimes A Married Man being asked Where his Wife went to Church answered Wheresoever there is Musick In Spain I knew an antient Lady of Quality VVitty and very Vertuous who when she got into her Coach and the Coach-man asked Whither he must go used to Answer Where there is most People I will not make too bold in this particular for fear I be judged Prophane as obstructing Devotion but that is not my design only the abuse of it is here meant That haunting of Churches used in Portugal on Festivals tho' in another nature is not ill imitated in England Six of the Clock Morning Prayers and Evening Prayers in Winter are the Delight of some Ladies they had rather go a mile on Sunday to Covent-Garden Church or White-Hall Chappel than to their Parish tho' their House join to it this is a desire to be seen by Men not by God his Presence is equally in every Church but the Company is not the same The Husband of such a Wife has cause to consider Whether of them it is that draws her Well since I have descended to so many particulars I will venture a little farther it will divert so much serious Reflection I cannot approve of Trimmed Lap-dogs that have mystical Names Being in a Church a Page came running out of Breath to ask me If I had seen such a Ladies Delight that was lost And having asked what the Ladies Delight was found it was a little Dog of that Name Parrots and and Monkies are needless Troubles and often inspire ill Thoughts Miners by the Grass and Flowers that grow upon the Earth know whether there be a Gold-Mine or not Exterior Signs discover what is within I begin to be so impertinent I shall not leave a Bird. What is the use of Singing Birds that in Summer begin to whistle with the Day and are said to divert the Thoughts in the Morning What better Employment for a Womans Thought than the Husband that lyes by her side Little diverting Blacks witty Foundlings silly Country-Fellows who sometimes are not so silly as they appear cloathed in several Colours who have liberty to go where they please are not fit nor would I have them be seen in a House all these things in my opinion are Prejudicial and I should be glad they were removed from the Houses of all my Friends I protest I ever loathed the Ladies in Romances because I always found Lap-dogs Lions and Dwarfs about them so great is my Aversion from that sort of Vermin that I cannot bear with them in Fabulous Books think how I shall like them when real But it is no reason my particular Fancy should make a general Rule let this pass as a caution to any Man that is of the same depraved humour The Spaniards highly commend good Houswives who love home and mind the Affairs of their Family they extol them so much because they are scarce and it is hard to find such a Woman among them However it is said of Queen Margaret Mother to Philip the Fourth that she and her Ladies Embroider'd and Sold their Work the Profit whereof was given to Nuns So did the late Queen of Portugal and her Aunt Queen Catherine who Enriched Monasteries with their Work many pieces whereof are yet to be seen Margaret de Valois who was Queen of France and Navar whose Writings I admire and whom I look upon as the Wisest Woman of this Age does not cease to express how much she was pleased to see the Countess de Lalain being at Table with the Queeen open her Bosom to give the Breast to a Child she Suckled her self The Queen highly extols that deed of the Countess and says she never envyed any Action in Woman but that There are certain Women like Idols who are good for nothing or are proud to be thought so think they were Born only to be Worshipped and will serve for no other use I am content they should have but one Employment in their Houses and that is that a

Woman be Mistress of her House and perform the Duty of that Office and if she does it well she has discharged her Duty to her Husband and Family How will it be taken if I should find fault with the Manly Amazonian Ladies Were I sure the Courage of Women would be rightly apply'd I could bear with it but that being very dubious it is better they should shake at the sight of a naked Sword and fall into a Swoon at Thunder God ordained they should be timorous it is best they should be so It is happy if they do what they are oblig'd to let none require more of them Well I am sure I shall disoblige them all I am loath to say any thing of their Judgment or prescribe Rules to that by which all other things are to be Govern'd but since I presum'd to give Laws to Love which is a more absolute Power I will not be afraid to give some to the Understanding I cannot but admire at a Saying of that so much quoted Bishop of ours D. Affonso which was The most knowing Woman only knows how to lay up a Chest of Linnen Nor can I forget Another who said The most knowing Woman knows as much as two Women I am of a different Opinion I have seen and conversed with some in Spain and other Parts Therefore I think it necessary to allay and temper with Discretion that quickness of Apprehension and readiness of Wit wherein they surpass us No bounds can be assign'd to their Wit but to the use of it there may As if a Razor of excellent Metal were given a Man to do some Bloody deed but the Razor not yet finished or grownd to an Edge he who kept him from a Stone to grind it upon would do as much good as if he took the Razor from him So it is not in our power to deprive Women of the pure Metal of their Understanding which Nature has bestow'd on them but we may take from them the Opportunity of sharpning it to their own danger and our harm Let us do the best we can Let not Women meddle or concern themselves with the Affairs and Business of Men because they have Understanding as well as we and saying as some do that the Soul is neither Male nor Female Yet let the Husband know that this does not exclude a discreet Wife from offering her Sentiments modestly nor free him from the obligation of asking her Opinion Do not think I recant or contradict what I have said before you will perceive it by this comparison Let the Wife be the Hand and the Husband the Clock she point and he strike The one shows the other guides a Clock thus regular is believed by all and passes for an Oracle It is not regular only it self but keeps others in good order But if once it errs it misleads every Body How it pleases me to see a Woman Ignorant of those things she ought not to know or at least appear so though inreality she does know them I look upon it as a great Perfection when they err in those Affairs which might bring a Reflection upon them if rightly managed Let a Woman Understand what is proper for Women let her Read and Discourse of such things and let none but such be offered her to Read or Discourse of Since my Hand is in I will go on with my Proverbs Travelling one day I heard a grave Carrier observe I have slighted the Philosophers to quote these Authors but him I heard say God deliver me from a Mule that Brays and a Woman that Speaks Latin The pleasure I receiv'd in hearing this witty Sentence makes me now remember it let us not look upon it as contemptible if profitable The case is that Latin of it self does no harm but the other little Sparks of Learning that attend it are of dangerous consequence Since as at first I tould you I am sitting by the Fire and you hear I will venture to tell you another Story An ancient sober Woman went to Confession to an Old surly Fryer she beginning to say the Confiteor in Latin the Confessor asked her Do you Speak Latin she reply'd Father I was Bred in a Monastery Then said the Fryer Are you Marry'd Maid or Widow she Answer'd A Marry'd Woman Where is your Husband says the Fryer In India says she Then the Old Man wittily reply'd Hold then Child you understand Latin were Bred in a Monastery and your Husband is in India Then go about your Business and come some other day for it is certain you have much to say and I am in haste at present I would not have Women be too knowing in matters of War and Politicks nor aim at it I abhor some that will talk of Government judge of Discourse decide points of Honour and raise Disputes Others that pretend to Skill in Poetry have a Stammering of strange Languages define Love and its Effects Study hard Questions to puzzle the Learned and talk of unknown places Others that know all the secret Virtues of Herbs that tell the signification of colours that censure Sermons that pick difficult Sentences out of them that use cramp Words that speak by Metaphors that have unusual ways of praising and that keep time to their discourse with the motions of Hands and Eyes Away with all this it looks Counterfeit and is not tolerable either feigned or real Do not think me censorious I had rather you should believe me impertinent But I assure you all I have hinted is worth observing A Lady desired her Brother who was a Man of Sence to give her some Motto for a Device she design'd to have engrav'd on a Seal he answer'd Sister Leave Divices for the Shields of Knights Errant and do you devise how to make a Tart for your Husband when you have one Not unlike to this was the Saying of our late Sovereign King Charles the Second A Person of much Note for his Writings tho' of very little for his Learning telling the King he had Marry'd a Wife that understood Greek and Hebrew His Majesty ask'd Can she make a Pudding And then added That is Learning enough for your Wife it is you ought to understand the Languages To Talk always is bad to Talk loud is worse and to Talk in improper places worst of all Some Women value themselves upon answering loud at Church and will converse with their Acquaintance that are at a distance on purpose to be heard To sigh at Sermon to make motions with the Head in token of Approbation to Pray aloud to beat time to the Musick are Actions no way allowable A discreet Woman must speak as much as is requisite in reason with a low Voice so that the Person she directs her discourse to may hear and not those who are not concern'd A Judicious Person compar'd People to Bells the Ringing discovers whether they are sound or crackt I will not go about to show how words discover the Soul but in