well rather of their owue accord then by inforcement yet how forward so euer they be hee must not cease to incourage and pricke them forwarde knowing that there is no Horse but needeth the spurre that he suffer them not to be idle but set in tune to labour the better to indure it afterward That he enter not into rage and impatience with his Children tor a good Father vseth Wisedome in stead of Anger and awardeth a small punishment for a great fauit and yet is not so foolish pittifull altogether to pardon it knowing that as by sparing the Rodde he may spill his Child so by wearing it too much he make him either dull or desperat That he prouide them of good Maisters to teach them for young Children must be propped vp like young Trees least the tempest of Uices either breake them or bow them crooked That he suffer them not in any wise to haunt the company of such people as will corrupt with wanton speaches and naughtie conditions That he be carefull to marke in their childhoode to what kind of life they are naturally inclyned that he may disigently set them vnto it for an vntoward beginning hath euer an vnluckie ending That without iust occasion he vse no partiallitie amongst his Children vnlesse he be willing to set them together by the eares That in all his doinges hee shew himselfe graue and modest and by doing well him selfe giue his Children an example to doe the like that in his olde age when his Sonnes are growen men thorough couetousnesse hee witholde not from them reasonable stipendes to liue by otherwise in stead in honouring him they will wish him buried Finally that he be so carefull ouer his Children that at his death hee feele not his conscience charged in hauing to make account for his necligence in their behalfe perswading himselfe that amongst all the abuses of the world there is none worse then a necligent Father therefore he is mooued by Nature pricked in Conscience and bound in Houestie to haue a great care of his Children CHAP. XXI ¶ Heere followeth the duetie of the Childe toward the Parentes BUT now to fall from the care of the Father I will briefly speake of the duetie of the Child For all Children ought to know that by Nature they are bound to honour their Father and Mother in doing so God giueth his blessing and pramiseth the reward of long life for next vnto God there is none more to be honored then the Parents If the Father be churlish and curst vnto them let the manifould benefites receiued of him counteruaile that crueltie and continue them in their duetie Let Children take heed of molesting their Parentes any way but to ouercome them with patience for they shall neuer stude a surer friend then their Father and they must alwayes carry in their mindes that hee which stubbernly striueth with his Fahter prouoketh the wrath of God against him so that he shall neither passe away his life quietly nor yet make his end honestly Then let them so behaue themselues that their Father haue no cause to curse them and wish ill of them for God still heareth the prayers of the Father against his Children Let them not thinke any seruice sufficient to requite their Fathers goodnesse towards them for when they haue done their duetie to the vttermost they can yet shall they not haue done all which they should Lastly let the sticke to their Parents in all troubles and aduersitie assuring themselues that they which forsake their Parents shall be forsaken of God and that is the greatest offence that may be committed Let all men be assured of this that he shall haue the same measure made him by his Children as hee shall mete to his Father like as there was a Father who was driuen out of his owne hause by his Soune and was faine to take vp his lodging in the Spitie-house and seeuig his vnkind Sonne vpon a day going by the doore prayed him for charitie sake to send him a paire of Sheetes to lie in The Sonne mooued with his Fathers request was no sooner come home but he commanded one of his sonnes to carry a paire of Sheetes to the Hospitall to his Graundfather but the Child deliuered but one of them which his father blaming him for at his returne hee answered I will keepe the other for you Father when in your old age you shall goe to the Spitle-house as my Graund-father now doth Hereby wee may learne that our Children will deale with vs as wee deale with our Parentes And this shall serue to close vp our Discourse touching this matter CHAP. XXII Of the diuersitie of the care that Parentes ought to take of their Daughters in the bringing vp of them more then they take for the bringing vp of their Sonnes NOw will I make some particular mention of Daughters for that the Father is to vse himselfe otherwise towards them then toward his Sonnes yet diuers be the maners of bringing vp of Daughters in England at this day for same fathers will not suffer their Daughters to set their foote foorth of doores not past once or twise in a yeare Some will allowe them not onely to keepe company with their friendes and kinsfolke at home in the house but also to visit their friendes abrode and to be present at Banquets meeting of friendes Some will haue them taught to write and reade and to haue skill in Musicke others will haue them learne nothing but to sow and spinne and gouerne the House All these diuersities I will a little touch in this manner First not to suffer a Mayde to go abroad but once or twise in a yeare is the way to make her become foolish fearefull and out of countenance in compante Now the other which goeth abrode euery day with her Mother and haunteth Feastes and Banquets melteth away like Ware in the fire and driuing by little and little the maydenly modesty out of her lookes and gestures there appeareth in her a licencious and wanton behauiour so that she is rather taken for a Mother then a Mayde and if there come no worse of it the Mother may assure her selfe that in bringing her Daughter so often abroad in publicke places maketh her thereby lesse prized and worse bestowed then otherwise shee might bee I say nothing of these that are taught in their Chambers to write to read and sing and neuer come downe into the Kitchin but I will leaue that charge to the poore Hushands whose Hause goeth to decay and all for hauing so learned a wife Then if you cast your eyes vpon one of those which can do nothing but sow spinne you shall see in attyre in talke and in behauiour the very figure of a countrie Milkemayde who will haue as good a grace amongst other women as a Kitchenstuff-wench amongst courtly Ladyes It behooueth then all discreete Fathers who are to bestow their Daughters in Mariage to consider of what calling
THE COVRT OF good Counsell VVHEREIN IS SET downe the true rules how a man should choose a good Wife from a bad and woman a good Husband from a bad WHEREIN IS ALSO EXPRESsed the great care that Parents should haue for the bestowing of their Children in Mariages And likewise how Children ought to behaue them selues towardes their Parents And how Maisters ought to gouerne their Seruants and how Seruants ought to be obedient towards their Maisters Set forth as a patterne for all people to learne â— it by published by one that hath dearely bought it by experience ¶ At London printed by Raph Blower and are to be solde by William Barley at his shop in Gratious Streete 1607. â‚ TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPfull Sir Iohn Ioles Knight and one of the Worshipfull Aldermen of the Honorable Cittie of London HAVING Right Worshipfull the industrious labours of a willing practioner in the discourses of Morall Philosophy the same comming by chaunce into my hands to be imprinted which said matters beare the Title of The Court of good Counsell wherein the duty of all sorts of people is most Lyuely set foorth Which for th'excelencie of the discourse deserues a Patron of a Iudiciall censure And now your Worship beeing one whom my secret thoughts deepely affect I haue boldly dedicated the same vnto you wishing the same as worthy of your VVorships acceptance as my desire most humbly requireth Thus leauing your VVorship to the Tuition of the Almighty whom I pray to blesse in this world with much prosperity And in the life to come with blessed Eternitie Your Worships in all dutie W. B. Heere beginneth the table of this booke CHAP. I. CErtaine reasons intreating of the great and comfortable ioyes of Mariage if the same be duely and rightly regarded as they ought to be CHAP. II. How that oftentimes wise Parents may haue foolish Children and foolish Parents wise Children and how that oftentimes rich mens Children beeing left rich become poore and poore mens Children become rich CHAP. III. What great care a man ought to haue in the choyce of his Wife and what circumspection ought to be had therein likewise shewing that many mischaunces often happen to the Children through the manyfolde imperfections of the Parents CHAP. IIII. How an vntoward young woman or a wanton Wife may be easily gouerned by her Husband if she haue any good nature or modesty in her at all especially if the man himselfe be of any reasonable gouerment CHAP. V. When a man or woman hath bin once Maried and afterwards becommeth a Widdower or a Widdow againe what great inconuenience hapneth often to the Children by Stepmothers especially if that both the parents doe not agree well together CHAP. VI. Heere followeth the manner of life that ought to be obserued and kept betwixt Man and wife and how a man were better to choose a young Wife then one that is aged CHAP. VII How some sort of men by giuing of their wiues ouermuch liberty doe perswade themselues that that is the next way to make them honest CHAP. VIII Of the great care that euery Husband ought to haue for the keeping and maintayning of his Wife whereby that through want she be not driuen to alter her manners and conditions CHAP. IX Herein is shewed the lone and obedience of the Wife towards her husband and how that a woman that regardeth her owne credit ought to refuse the company of a woman that hath an ill name or deserueth any cause of suspition CHAP. X. An admonition to the wise and discreet woman how to gouerne her selfe Shewing that chastitie ioyned with vanity deserueth no commendations at all And how many women giue occasion to beil thought of for these fower causes following Viz Deedes Lookes Wordes and Apparell CHAP. XI How a woman ought not as neere as she can giue any occasion to her Husband to prouoke him to anger neyther ought she to be Iealous of him without great cause of desert shewing also that it is better to couer his faults then to disclose them CHAP. XII Hereafter followeth certaine admonishions how the wife may continue her loue and goodwill towardes her Husband CHAP. XIII Of the conuersation of Parents towards their Children and of the disagreements that oftentimes happen betwixt the Father and the Sonne CHAP. XIIII Of the great discomfort that Children many times bring to their Parents through their mis-deameanor towardes them And of the euill successe that oftentimes hapneth thereby CHAP. XV. Wherein is shewed the occasions of the great difference that oftentimes hapneth between the parents the children CHAP. XVI Of the great wisedome of men in getting of riches and of the excellency of many good and learned Maisters now in this age CHAP. XVII Of the euill successe of many Children through the imperfections of their Parents CHAP. XVIII Of the lewdnes of many Children through the want of their good bringing vp whilest they are young And of the ouer-fight of the Parents in suffring of them to grow too old or stuborne before they breake them of their obstinacie CHAP. XIX If a Childe bee of neuer so good a wit yet for want of good bringing vp groweth to be ouer head-strong and base in conditions and this oftentimes falleth out by the cockering of the Parents CHAP. XX. Of the great commendations of such Parents as keepe their Children in awe whilest they are young CHAP XXI Heere followeth the duty of the Childe towards the Parents CHAP. XXII Of the diuersitie of the care that Parents ought to take of their Daughters in the bringing vp of them more then they take for the bringing vp of their Sonnes CHAP. XXIII Of the great disagreements and discontentments that oftentimes doth happen betweene the Maister and the seruant CHAP XXIIII Of the impatience of some Maisters towards their Seruants ouer other some CHAP. XXV Of the great abuses of some Seruants towardes their Maisters which is rather for want of wit then for any other cause CHAP. XXVI How a Seruant may liue quietly with his Maister if he be of any reasonable gouerment CHAP. XXVII How the Maister with good perswasions may gouerne his Seruant and in the obstinacie of his Seruant what will insue vnto him CHAP. I. The Court of good Councell or Certaine Reasons intreating of the great and Comfortable Ioyes of Marriage if the same be duely rightly regarded as it ought to be THE greatest ioy and sweeteâ—t comfort that a man may haue in this worlde is a louing kinde and honest wife Contrariwise there is no greater plaque nor torment to his minde then to be matched with an vntoward wicked and dishonest Woman Therefore let him that intendeth to marry and fye himselfe to that honorable state of life being the first bargaine of thrist and the first step to good husbandry take all the best Counsell he can in the world in the choyce of a Wife yet scarce sufficient enough for being once done it can neuer be recall'd but
peace for the answere of a wise woman is silence and she must stay to vtter her minde till be be appeased if he be obstinate let not her be ouer tâ—wart nor doe as the woman did to whom her husband brought for their supper two Thrushes but shee would needed say that they were Black-byrds he replying apaine that they were thrushes and the holding that they were Black-byrds he in his anger gaue her a bor on the oare and yet for all that when the Thrushes were serued to the table she termed them Black-byrds wherevpon her husband fell to beating her againe A weeke after she put him in minde againe of the Black-birds continuing in her obstinacie till he fell to his olde remedy But this matter ended not thus for at the yeares end she hit him in the teeth how he had beate her for two Black-byrdes and hee said it was for two Thrushes but she said he was deceaued and so was well beaten for it againe But to returne againe to our purpose I will set downe a fewe more admonitions for the wife how she may continue in loue and goodwill with her husband CHAP. XII ¶ Hereafter followeth certaine Admonishions how the wife may continue her loue and good will towards her husband A Woman cannot possible doe any thing that may make her Husband more in loue with her then to play the good Huswife in her house For it not onely doth him good to see his wife so thriftily giuen but besides hee conceaueth a good oppinion of her honestie seeing her take such great paines and exercise her body in workes belonging to her house whereby she getteth a naturall coullour and that vertuous vermillion which falleth of neither with sweating neither with wéeping nor with blowing nor with wiseing which maketh him deny her no necessary thing belonging to the house Also when he séeth her so carefull to kéepe them in good order which is not the fashion of those light â—uswiuen that liue without doing any thing without caring for husband children or any other houshould busines she wing manifestly that though her body be in the house yet her minde is abroad which foundeth to her owne shame and the husbands great disprofit For it is well knowne when the Mistris is buisied in vanities the seruants take litle care of her profit but looke to their owne matter as the common saying is while the mistresse playeth the maide strayeth and as the Wife ought busily to looke about her house so it is vnseemely for the husband to meddle with matters within doores But if his hap be so ill to haue a foolish wife then it standeth him vpon to supply her imperfections But those men are to be laughed at who hauing wise and sufficient wiues will as they say set their Hens to brood season the pot dresse their owne meate teach the Chamber-maides and take their wiues office from her such husbands offend their wiues much shewing thereby that either they mistrust them or despise them Besides that they doe much wrong to themselues and shew thereby their want of humanitie for if they were imploid abroad in matters of importance belonging to men of discretion they would being at home be now desirous rather to take their ease then trouble their wife and seruants in medling with their matters Furthermore they woulde consider with themselues that the rule of the house belongeth to the wife and that God hath mate women more fearefull then men to the end they should be more fit for the wary matching and keeping of the house wherevnto a carefull feare oftentimes is requisite I deny not but the husband ought to know how matters goe in his house to prouide abroad for things accordingly and now then to correct some faults which his wife perchaunce eyther will not or cannot But it is great reason that she beeing as it were the sterne of the house the husband should commit vnto her the whole gouerment of it as a thing belonging vnto her For the rest you must know that as in aduersitie and trouble true friends are knowne so the wife cannot by any meanes more surely binde the goodwill of her husband to her for euer Then by sticking to him faithfully in his néede and aduersitie which some women do not who will gladly be partakers of the prosperity of their husbands but will not willingly take part of their troubles Forgetting the example of the fayre and wise wife of Methridates who for her husbands sake caused her head to be paled and framed her selfe to ride and weare armour like a man and so accompanied him valiantly faithfully and patiently in all his troubles and perils which gaue her husband wonderfull comfort in his aduersity and let the world to vnderstand that there is nothing so troublesome and gréeuious but that the two harts of the husband and wife fast linked together are able to support it and to passe all griefe and annoy away Therefore when the husbands are afflicted with any infirmitie eyther of body or minde let the wiues be ready both in worde and deede to comfort them whereby they shall see their loue will grow more feruent and faithfull But now for conclusion the husband and wife must count all things common betweene them hauing nothing of their owne in perticuler no not so much as the body it selfe and laying aside pride they most châ—refully set their hands to those things that are to be done about the house belonging to their calling and to striue in well doing one to ouercome an other whereof will grow such contented quietnes as happily prolong their liues to olde age And by the bonde of loue and concord they shall giue their children an example to liue in vnitie one with an other and their seruants to agree together in their busines and discharge of their duties CHAP. XIII ¶ Of the conuersation of Parents towards their Children And of the disagreements that oftentimes happen betwixt the Father and the Sonne FOR AS MVCH now as I haue made mention of Children and youth I thinke it fit that from dence forth according to my determination to speake of the conuersation that ought to bee betweene the Parents and the Children For I thinke it a matter very expedient to be set downe the ordere which they ought to obserue togither for that euen amongst them there is not for the most part I found that good agreement and that discréet dealing which ought to be For the world is now come to this passe that the child is no sooner come to any vnderstanding but that he beginneth to cast in his head of his fathers death as a litle child riding on a time behinde his father said simply vnto him Father when you are dead I shall ride in the saddle Yea there are many great and knauish children which wish and worke the death of their fathers The sault whereof I know not to whom I shoulde impute it whether to the fathers which kéepe
not their children in such awe neyther bring them vp in such sort as they ought to doe or to the children who know not how much they are beholding to their fathers But in my mind I conclude that the childe rather is to be in the fault who cannot bring any action against his father though he doe him neuer so great wrong First of all therefore will I begin to excuse the father whom some will thinke to be in fault who ought to haue informed him in his dutie when he was young and tender If the father giue his sonne good lessons and he wil not hearken vnto them what can he doe more If the father offereth Instructions to his child with his right hand and the childe receyueth them with the left what fault is the father in None but this in my opinion but that he deferreth till euening to giue him those Instructions which hee shoulde haue giuen him early in the morning at the sunne rising I meane whilst he is young euen as it were with the milke of the nurse not considering that in tender mindes as it were in war a man may make what impression he lift But I know not how to excuse the children who after their father hath nourished and brought them vp carefully vnder the learned men and instructed them in the faith of Christ in the end run astray liuing lewdly bring forth fruit vnworthy their bringing vp I matualle not so much that a child vertuously brought vp sometime falleth out naught but I count it straunge and as it were against nature that both the father and the sonne being both honest men and for their good dealing well spoken of by all men it shoulde often fall out that they cannot agree together in one house but liue in continuall strict and variance and agreeing well in publike affâ—yres still disagree about houshold matters whereof I could bring forth many examples But this I must say that the sonne in duty ought to suffer his father to commaund ouer him and that he ought to obay him without any resistance And that their conuersation may frame the better I thinke it necessarie to counsell the father how he ought to proceede in his fatherly iurisdiction that he exceede not the bonds of reason and giue not his sonne cause to finde fault with him in his hart and to thinke himselfe ill dealt withall by him by meanes whereof he waxeth colde in the loue and reuerence he ought to beare to his father I cannot forget the olde saying that few children are like the father and that many of them are worse and those that are better are very rare and thin sowen therefore I would willingly search out the cause why so few Children resemble the Father and answere to the hope he conceaueth of them CHAP. XIIII ¶ Of the great discomfort that Children many tymes bring to their Parents through their mis-deameanor towards their parents And of the euill successe that oftentymes hapneth thereby FIRST it is to be considered that Children bring small or no comfort to their Parents if Nature and Fortune be not well temperd in them For as a fruitful graine sowen in a soyle vnfit for it bringeth foorth no increase So a child that is naturally giuen to learning will neuer doe well if be be fet to husbandry so much it behooueth the father to find out in his Childe-hood wherevnto he is most inclined Therefore it behooueth fathers to vse discretion in this poynt that is to finde out the naturall inclination of their children the which is best done in their Infancy as the prouerbe is that by the morning it may be gathered how all the day will proue after whether it will be eyther faire or foule I thinke this counsell most necessary to be respected by the fathers who force their Children to enter into trade of life which is altogether contrary to their mindes and therefore no maruaile though they receiue small comfort of them For thereof many times insueth the dishonor of their house and which is worse great offence towardes God as when poore boyes are put to study diuinitie who euen from their mothers wombe desire the warres Those fathers that set their children to things contrary to their disposition are rather to be pittied then blamed for that happeneth commonly for lacke of taking hade but those which thrust their children into Colledges before they are of yeares to choose or refuse that life Are no doubt greatly to be blamed for that they bring their children too it eyther through feare or through false perswasions which is nothing else but to withstand the will of God and so take from their children that free choyce which God of his diuine goodnes hath promised them Therefore if the father be carefull of the loue and quiet of his house let him be also carefull to know whether his sonnes mindes be giuen eyther to learning or to armies or to husbandry or to marchandize and when hee shall perceiue he hath drawne him out of the right let him make him returne into it forthwith and set him againe where he should be otherwise let him assure himselfe that a thing ill begun will come to a worse end Seeing we are to search why children oftentimes fall not out according to the good hope of their parents weâ— haue neede to begin at the milk they sucke in their cradles for that the nurses milke is of such force that the vse therof maketh the child take after her then after the mother which brought him into the world and when I remember the custome of diuers women in Fraunce who bring vp their Infants onely with the milke of beasts I thinks thereof it commeth that diuers of them are so sterce and cruell that by their ill life many of them shew themselues scarce to be indued with that reason proper to men I am of mind without doubt that the effects of the milke is maruelous and it is a thing certaine that if a lambe be nourished with the milke of a Goate or a Kidd with the milke of a yeaw the Kidd will haue a very soft hayre and the Lambe a very rough and barry wooll And therefore it is thought that as the childe by reason of the milke taketh after the complerion of the Nurse So the disposition of the minde fol oweth the complerion of the body and thereof also it commeth that the daughters of honest women oftentimes proue altogether vn-like them both in body and minde so that to deliuer Children from their mothere to nurses cannot be said so be other then a corrupting of nature But if wee should make mention of this first nourishment we should haue spoken of it when we discoursed of vnfortunate mariages but I neyther spake of it there neyther will doe here The reason I forbeare to speake of it is for that women at this day are so curious of their comlines or rather of their vanity that they had rather to
children in learning perswading them that they are neuer rich vntill they be learned There are in this age many masters excellent in learning and yet lewd in life therefore it is the fathers wisedome to be very wary in the choyse of them least what his sonne getteth one way he looseth an other way for he must haue as great care to make him vertuous as learned and he must haue more care to make him good then to leaue him riches For as one said if thy sonne be wise and honest thou shalt leaue him good enough but if he be a foole thou shalt leaue him too much for fooles are not fit to possesse riches Now if the child be not giuen to learning the Father must not fayle to imploy him some other way for there is nothing more daungerous then an idle young man and as the tree that blossometh not in the spring time bringeth forth no fruit in haruest so he shall neuer come to liue honestly when he is a man who is not vertuously exercised while he us a child CHAP. XVII ¶ Of the euill successe of many children through the imperfections of their Parents VT amongst the other occasions of the ill successe of children this is one when the father is careles to make them in time to raise themselues from the ground my meaning is that the father béeing carefull of his sonnes aduauncement is many times so curious to see him instructed in worldly matters that forgetting how the beginning of Wisedome is the feare of God be taketh no care at all to instruct him in the Christian Fayth whereof it commeth to passe that many vnhappy children trayned vp altogether in worldly astayres and depriued of the true light cannot sée the right way but runneth into perdition For the wisedome of the world is folly with God and it is a thing impossible for him to liue well that knoweth not God Therefore I would haue parents to take care both for the minde and body of their Children but because the minde beeing the more excellent it is reason to cast out chéefest care vpon it And for that the minde in Infants is like a table booke wherein nothing is written and like a tender twig which may be bowed euery way it is cleare that vertue or vice may be easily planted in it and for that it is knowne by proofe that these things are kept best in memory which are learned in youth Fathers ought to instruct their Children in the best thing they can especially in the feare and loue of God holding it for a generall rule that he which knoweth euery thing and knoweth not God knoweth nothing but if the father be diligent to instruct his children in the Lawe of God he shall get his ioy by it that his children thereby will doe him the more honour and reuerence knowing that it is gods will they should do so But now let vs returne againe to the former occasion of the ill successe of children to which may be added this when the father setteth before them a stayned and spotted glasse to looke in that is when he giueth them ill example which the Romanes were very circumspect in whose modesty was so great that the father would neuer bathe himselfe in the company of his sonne for it is counted a great fault in the father to suffer himselfe to be séene naked by his sonne It is no maruaile though Cato put Manlius out of the Senat of Rome onely for kissing his wife in the presence of his daughter Therefore the father ought aboue all things to shew him selfe such before them as he witheth they should be for the master doth not them so much good by his instruction as the father doth them harme by his euill example for they are by nature lead rather to follow his steps then their masters precepts For it is so naturall a thing for the sonne to resemble the father in wicked qualities as swearing cursing and such other vices that if by chaunce some child doe not follow his father in them but liueth vertuously yet the world will scarce beleeue that be doth so by reason of the euill opinion they haue of the father but rather will thinke that the childe is â—eâ—re to his vices as well as to his lands and when they can find no fault with him any way some one or other will not stick to hiâ— him in the teeth that he was the sonne of a wicked man Likewise it the father be honest and the sonne lewd the fathers good name is called in question through the sonnes folly And many men thinke it vnpossible that the sonne should tread awry vnles he were by his father led thereto And thereupon it is thought that those men which vse too extreame seueritie towardes their children is not done so much vpon displeasure that take against them as for the care then haue to maintaine their owne credit I would therefore haue all fathers to frame themselues to line well and orderly as well for their owne sakes as for the venefit of their children who seeing vertue shining in their fathers deeds will haue a desire in all goodnes to follow their steps For when children sée their fathers seruants of the house stand renerently waiting vpon him and ready at the holding vp of his finger to do his commaundements they will thereby take example to doe their duile likewise and not be lesse obedient then leruants and straungers and besides indeauour to be like to their father in deedes that they may in time to come receiue the like reuerence of their seruants as they see their father doe of his For the father that giueth an ill example to the child in time shall be had in contempt by the child so that be shall neyther receiue succour of him in his latter dayes nor at his death that last duty to close vp his eyes besides the father liuing disorderly many times make hand of those goods which his Children should liue by I will now passe further to more occasions of the vnfortunate course of life betworne the father and the child whereof there are two that come into my minde the one is when the father is more then a mother the other when he is more then a father My meaning how he should be more then a mother is when he is to blinded that he seeth not the imperfections of his childe or if he see them yet is ready to commend them or to excuse them in such sort that if his sonne be haughty or hare-brain'd be termeth him couragious if he be base-minded he connteth him modest if a praâ—ing boy he will haue him all Orator and in flattering thus himselfe he thinkes him the best Childe in the world with which blindnes the fathers of one onely childe are for the most part strucken CHAP. XVIII ¶ Of the lewdnes of many children through the want of their good bringing vp whilest they are young And of the ouer-sight of
the Parents in suffring of them to grow too old or stuborne before they breake them of their obstinacie I Must néeder in this place mention vnto you a youth of fifterne or sixteene yeares of age of a ready wit but otherwise vicious and lewd of life which hapned through the fault of the father and mother who were so far from correcting him that they durst not so much as threaten him nor say any word to him that might displease him and I remember when he was fiue or fire yeares olde if any tolde them that they must rebuke him for some faulte he had done they would excuse him by and by saying he was not yet of age to know his fault And beeing seauen or eight yeares olde they would nouer beate him nor threaten him least through some great feare his bloud should be chase or inflamed whereby he might be cast into an ague No at ten yeares olde they thought not good to trouble nor molest him alledging that stripes and threats would too much pull downe his courage and take from him his stout and proud stomacke and though now for his haughty conditions he be hated of all the whole Cittie yet they leaue not to excuse him still saying he must first grow and then after be wise and that within few dayes they wil send him to schoole where he shall learne wit But now many a one lookes when hee shall be of age to he hanged oâ—â— the gallowes to heare him before the people to lay the fault vpon his father and mother and iustly curse their foolish lone and shamefull cockering attempting as one did once to teare their nose and their eares of with his teeth CHAP. XIX ¶ Yf a childe be of neuer so good a wit yet for want of good bringing vp groweth to be ouer-bad and base in conditions and this oftentimes falleth out by the cockering of their Parents BY this example in the former Chapter reciâ—â—d it is verified that a child though of nouer so good a witt yet beeing ill brought vp proueth too bad but this great tockering and compassion is proper to the mother who commonly bringeth vp her children with more tender affection and discretion and according to the olde saying it is an hard matter for a mother to be fond of her children and wise both together but yet the right loue is to beate and correct them when they shall deserue it for certainely the rod doth not tessen the mothers loue but rather increase it for if the excesse of loue be to be blamed in the mother much more is it to be reproued in the father whese part it is ito examine and correct his childrens faults assuring himselfe the onely way to spoyle them is to be too much fond and tender ouer them But now I must tell you which be these fathers that I call more then fathers in my oppinion they be those which are too cruell to their children and beate them continually like slaues for the least fault in the world Truely those fathers are to be misliked of all men for that without any discretion they measure their children by themselues and require at their hands a matter impossible whch is to haue them be olde in their youth not suffering them to inioy that liberty which is alowed to their age and in my minde they descrue no other name then of Schoole-maisters for that they cannot manner their children well vnlesse they haue a rod in their hand for if they were right fathers they would be content that their children shoulde learne of them nothing else but to refrayne from doing ill and to vse to doe that which is good and honest which a childe is brought too rather by loue then by force but the authoritie which some vn-wise fathers take vpon them is so great that without respecting age time or place they will heepe their children vnder by force and make them doe enery thing contrary to nature yea euen to wear their apparell after the fashion of the good men of the time past In this they doe amisse and hereby they make their children not to loue them harsely and to obey them rather for feare then affection And besides they consider not that the beating without measure and the keeping them in continuall feare is the cause that a man cannot iudge to what manner of life they are by nature inclined Moreouer it dulleth their wits and represseth their naturall strength in such sort that their is no liuely spirit left in them and comming in any company they know neyther which way to looke nor what to doe but stand like simple Idiots There I giue this counsell vnto all parents to leaue their butchery beating and consider rather that for larke of yeares their children cannot haue perfect vnderstanding and experience in thinges whereby they are to be borne withall when they doe amisse CHAP. XX. ¶ Of the great commendations of such parents as keepe their children in awe whilest they are young I Like those fathers well that can keepe their children in awe onely with shakeing their head at them or vsing some such like signe and can onely with a word correct them and make them ashamed of their fault yet I am perswaded that there are few fathers that know how to keepe the meane but they will orther be too rough or too gentle to their children whereof as the one driues them to desperatenes so the other bringeth them to wantonnes We must thinke that a childe hath giuen vnto him a father and a mother to the end that of the wisedome of the one and the loue of the other that meane I speak of might be made and that the seueritie of the father may be somwhat mittigated by the leuity of the mother Now this calls to mind an other disagréement betwéen the father and the childe which is the partiall loue of the father towardes his children for in my minde it is a great fault that he should loue one more then an other and that all being of his flesh and bloud he should cast a merry countenance vpon some of them and an angry looke vpon other some Yet this is the nature of man that a father loneth not all his children alike and yet he whom he loueth least cannot iustly complaine of him for the in-equality of loue is permitted to the fathers affection A father that is a husbandman hauing one sonne a scholler an other a Marchant and an other a husbandman of those three it is a great chaunce but hee will loue the husbandman best for he seeth him like himselfe in life and manners wherein his other sonnes in duty must be content for by nature we are led to like those things which resemble vs most Oh how hard a thing it is for the father after partiall loue is once entered into his hart to giue iustice indifferently The greater is the wisedome of the father who preferring the deserts of his children before his owne