I pray thee one of the yong men and one of the asses for I will haste to the man of God and come againe Againe that shee is to follow her husband when hee flitteth or departeth from place to place vnlesse hee forsake either her or Christ. To this purpose Paul saith hee had power to lead about a wife being a sister as well as the rest of the Apostles 1. Cor. 9. 5. Thus Sarah went with Abraham into Egypt Gen. 12. 11. and out of Egypt Gen. 13. 1. and to Gerar to soiourne there Gen. 20. 1. 2. 3. Thus the wiues of Iacob departed with him from their father Laban Gen. 31. 17. Contrary to these duties are the sins of wiues To be proud to be vnwilling to beare the authority of their husbāds to chide and braule with bitternes to forsake their houses c. Prou. 27. 15. A continuall dropping in the day of raine and a contentious woman are alike vers 16. He that hideth her hideth the winde she is as the oyle in his right hand that vttereth it selfe Exod. 4. 26. Then Zipporah said O bloodie husband because of the Circumcision It was the fault of the Leuites Concubine Iudg. 19. 2. Who played the whore and went away from him vnto her fathers house to Bethlem Iudah and there continued the space of foure moneths It was the sinne of Queene Vashi who refused to come at the Kings word which he had giuen in charge to the Eunuches therefore the King was verie angrie and his warth kindled in him Ester 1. 12. Lastly to be a cause of griefe to their kindred Thus the proud wiues of Esau the daughters of the Hittites were a griefe of mind to Isaak and Rebekah Gen. 26. 35. 27. 46. CHAP. 13. Of the Parent HItherto hath been treated of the first Couple whereof the family cōsisteth namely of married folkes Now follow the other and they are of two sorts either such as whereby the familie is increased and multiplied or such as are helpes thereunto Those whereby the familie is inlarged are also of two sorts Parents and Children Parents are they which haue power and authoritie ouer children The duties of parents are especially two One to bring vp their children The other to bestow them when they haue brought them vp Touching Education or bringing vp of children the parents care must bee both that they may liue and also that they may liue well Ephes. 6. 4. Touching the preseruation of the life of the child there are many duties required of the Parents specially foure First the mother is her selfe to giue the infant sucke and to wrap it vp in swadling clothes Paul cōmends it for a note of a good wife to nurse her owne children 1. Tim. 5. 10. Thus Sarah gaue sucke to Isaak Gen. 21. 7. Anna nursed Samuel 1. Sam. 1. 22. Dauid in likelihood was nursed by his mother Psal. 22. 9. Thou gauest me hope euen at my mothers breasts And our Sauiour Christ was also nursed by Marie his mother Luk. 11. 27. and swadled Luk. 2. 7. Now the reason hereof is plaine God hath giuen milke to women that beare children hath so appointed that no meat is more naturall to the child then the mothers milke And nature it selfe teacheth this in the course of other creatures The earth nourisheth that which it bringeth forth The fruit which the tree beareth is fed by the sap that comes from the root therof Yea amongst the bruit beasts euen those that be most sauage as the Tigres do giue sucke vnto the yong ones which they bring forth Yet in case of want of health or abilitie or any other iust impediment the mother may in equity beforborne and the child committed vnto a nurse And so we reade that Rebekah the daughter of Bethuel and afterward the wife of Isaak had a nurse Genes 24. 59. whose name was Deborah Gen. 35. 8. And Pharaohs daughter in a case of necessitie committed Moses to be nursed of an Hebrew woman whom she tooke not to be his mother but a stranger and her fact was allowed by God Exod. 2. 7. 9. The second dutie of the Parent is to prouide for his child meate drinke and clothing Our Sauiour Christ saith that Parents euen by the light of nature though they be euill will not denie or withhold necessarie food from their children Mat. 7. 9. 10. What man is there among you that if his son aske him bread will giue him a stone or if he aske a fish will giue him a scorpion And Paul saith If there be any that prouideth not for his owne and namely for them of his houshold hee denieth the faith and is worse then an Infidell 1. Tim. 5. 8. The third dutie is when God giueth abilitie meanes to lay vp some thing for the future maintenance of the child 2. Cor. 12. 14. for the children ought not to lay vp for the fathers but the fathers for the children Prou. 19. 14. House and riches are the inheritance of the fathers The fourth is to obserue both the inclination and the naturall gifts of bodie and mind that are in the child and accordingly to bestow it in some honest calling course of life Prou. 20. 11. A child is knowne by his actions whether his worke be pure and right In the Ecclesiasticall historie written by Ruffinus it is recorded that Alexander Bishop of Alexandria saw a far off in a place neare to the sea a companie of children playing together and in their play imitating himselfe in sundrie Ministeriall actions And whē he had a while viewed them he perceiued that they examined baptised one another according to the solemne order vsed in y ◠Cōgregation which thing whē he had made some of his Clergie acquainted withall and taken order that the children should be sent for and brought before him he demanded of them what sport they vsed and in what manner they played one with another The children at first for feare denied what they had done yet vpon further examination they confessed that they had made Athanasius who afterward became Bishop of the place their Bishop and that hee instructed and baptised sundrie of their companie He further asked both Athanasius himselfe and those which were said to haue been baptised what questions he asked them and what answeres they gaue and perceiuing by their speeches that they had framed themselues though in sporting maner to the Church-proceedings in those actions vpon conference had with his Clergie hee determined that those which had first been asked and had giuen answere fully according to the forme vsed in that Church and thereupon baptised should not be rebaptised And for Athanasius and the other children which had done the part of Ministers in their kind he sent for their parents and gaue them great charge that they should be brought vp in learning and religion that so they might in time be fit for the publike Ministerie The like course we reade to haue
been taken by the Heathen for iudgement of the inclination and towardnesse of their children The Athenians made a law that before children were bestowed in any calling they should bee first brought into a publike place where Instruments belonging to all sorts of trades were laid and look in what kind of Instrument any of them tooke most delight the child was thought to bee most fit for the trade whereunto that Instrument belonged and afterward applied to the same with good successe Now the Parents first and principall care must be for the Church that those of their children which haue the most pregnant wit and be indued with the best gifts be consecrated vnto God and brought vp in the studie of the Scriptures to serue afterward in the Ministerie of the Church Thus Anna dedicated Samuel her son vnto God by vow 1. Sam. 1. 11. And shee vowed a vow and said O Lord of Hostes if thou wilt giue vnto thine handmaid a man-child theÌ„ I wil giue him vnto the Lord all the daies of his life And she did according to her vow and the Lord blessed Samuel her sonne who in processe of time became a great Prophet The next point of Education of children is to prouide that they may liue well and lead a godly life To this purpose Parents must do three things First they are to be carefull that the child so soone as may bee after it is borne bee admitted into the true Church of God by Baptisme and haue a fit name giuen vnto it Secondly they are to endeuour to sow the seeds of godlinesse and religion in the heart of the child so soone as it comes to the vse of reason and vnderstanding and as it growes in yeares so care must be had that it grow in knowledge and grace To this purpose is the vow and promise made in Baptisme which parents are bound to call vpon the child to remember when it comes to yeares It was the godly care of Timothies parents 2. Tim. 3. 14. But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned knowing of whom thou hast learned them vers 15. And that thou hast knowne the holy Scriptures of a child which are able to make thee wise vnto saluation through the faith which is in Christ Iesus This was the commandement of God to the parents of his people Deut. 6. 7. Thou shalt rehearse these words which I command thee continually to thy children and shalt talke of them wheÌ„ thou tarriest in the house And vers 20. When thy sonne shall aske thee in time to come saying What meane these Testimonies and Ordinances and Lawes which the Lord our God hath commanded you Then thou shalt say vnto thy sonne We were Pharaohs bondmen in Egypt c. This was obserued by the Israelites in the ages â—cceeding Psal. 44. 1. We haue heard with our eares O God our fathers haue told vs the workes that thou hast done in their daies in old time Thirdly the first instruction of children in learning religion must be so ordered that they may take it with delight For which purpose they may be sometimes allowed in moderate maner to play and solace themselues in recreatioÌ„s fitting for their yeares And if they do amisse in either they are to bee restrained by the bridle of discipline First by reproofe in word and when that wil not helpe by the rodde of correction Zach. 8. 5. The streets of the citie shall bee full of boyes and girles playing in the streets thereof Prou. 29. 15. The rod and correction giue wisdome but a child set at libertie makes his mother ashamed vers 17. Correct thy son and he will giue thee rest and giue pleasures to thy soule Hebr. 12. 9. We haue had the fathers of our bodies which correct vs and we gaue them reuerence Yet in this point two extreames are carefully to be auoided That the Parent be not either too seuere or too indulgent to the child For seueâ—itie Paul giues his rule Ephes. 6. 3. Parents prouoke not your children to anger that is by too much austeritie in gouernmeÌ„t For lenitie we haue old Eli his example 1. Sam. 2. 23. And he said vnto them Why do yee such things for of all this people I heare euill reports of you Doe no more my sonnes c. So much for Education The second general dutie of parents is the bestowing of their children This bestowing is when they knowing their children fit for mariage not to haue the gift of continencie do vse their best indeuour to prouide matches for them in time or at least do aduise them therunto by themselues or by their friends 1. Cor. 7. 36. If any man thinke it vncomelie for his virgin to passe the flower of her age and need so require let them bee married vers 38. he that giueth her to mariage doth well Ierem. 26. 6. Take yee wiues and take wiues for your sonnes and giue your daughters to husbands c. Gen. 28. 1. Isaak called Iacob and blessed him and charged him and said vnto him Take not a wife of the daughters of Canaan Arise get thee to Padan Aram and thence take thee a wife of the daughters of Laban thy mothers brother Iudg. 14. 2. Sampson came and told his father and his mother and said I haue seene a woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistims now therefore giue me her to wife This dutie is now adaies carelessely neglected of Parents and the fruit therof is dangerous For hence it comes to passe that their children oftentimes do either commit whoredome or vndertake wicked and vngodly mariages In the choice of a husband or wife the Parents ought to haue a greater respect vnto pietie and wisedome then vnto beautie and riches or any other outward blessings Yet where they all concurre the partie so qualified is the more thankfully to be entertained Vpon these grounds the Priest of Prince of Midian gaue his daughter Zipporah to Moses and Moses agreed to take her Exod. 2. 19. A man of Egypt deliuered vs from the Philistims and also drew vs water enough watered the sheepe And Moses agreed to dwell with the man who gaue vnto Moses Zipporah his daughter Iosu. 15. 16. Then Caleb said He that smiteth Kiriath-sepher and taketh it euen to him will I giue Achsah my daughter to wife Yea it is a sinne to marrie only for beautie without consideration of the better things Thus the old world sinned wheÌ„ the sonnes of God saw the daughters of men that they were faire and tooke them wiues of all that they liked Gen. 6. 2. and Sampson who only vpon the sight of the woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistims without further inquirie desired that she might be giuen him for his wife Iudg. 14. 2. Againe it is meet that pareÌ„ts should deale moderately with their children in this case and not vndertake at any hand to force and compel them to marrie this or that partie This was
the iust commendation of Rebekahs parents who though they were Idolaters yet had that regard of equity that they first called her and asked her consent before they sent her away with Abrahams seruant to be maried to Isaak Gen. 24. 58. Now in case the Parents faile in their dutie in this regard the son or daughter may lawfully declare the matter first to their kinsfolke and afterward if need be to the Minister or Magistrate and sue for redresse by their means and direction CHAP. 14. Of the Sonne THe sonne is he who is in subiection to his parents The duties of a son to bee performed to his parents are principally two First to yeeld them obedience whether they be his naturall parents or otherwise as his step-father step-mother and that while he liueth Eph. 6. 1. Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right Luke 2. 51. Then hee went downe with them and came to Nazareth and was subiect to them Exod. 18. 19. Moses father in law said vnto him Heare now my voice I will giue thee counsell and God shall be with thee Ruth 3. 5. And Ruth said vnto Naomi her mother in law All that thou biddest me I wil do Iob 1. 5. And whē the daies of their bāquetting were gone about Iob sent and sanctified them This obedience must shew it selfe in two things First in the choyce of a lawfull calling wherein the child is to be ordered and appointed at the discretion of the parent Secondly in mariage For in that the parent is the principall agent and disposer of the child Now although his authoritie be not so great as that the child is to be forced and compelled by him yet the reuerent and dutifull respect which the child ought to beare towards him ought to be a strong inducement not to dissent or renounce his aduice without great and waightie cause Yea the child must endeuour by all manner of dutifull cariage to ouercome or at least to mitigate his parents seueritie in that behalfe Now for the daughters They must yeeld obedience to their parents in all Domesticall labours that they may be skilfull in houshold affaires Thus did the seuen daughters of the Priest of Midian accustome themselues to draw water and fill the troughes to water their fathers sheepe Exod. 2. 16. Thus Rebekah was seene to come out of her fathers house with her pitcher vpon her shoulder and to go downe with it to the well to fill it and giue drinke to her fathers Camels Gen. 24. 16. 17. The second dutie of the sonne is to recompence his fathers loue and care ouer him by relieuing him in case of want if God giue abilitie with food and rayment and other necessaries Herein children must deale with their parents as the brood of the Storke is reported to do with her by feeding her when she is old wherein they doe no more but what shee before hath done vnto them It is Pauls counsell that childred nephewes should recompence the kindnes of their kindred in the first place 1. Tim. 5. 4. and therefore to their parents the head foūdation of their kindred When Ioseph was in prosperitie and his father Iacob in want he first gaue him corne freely and afterwards sent for him to Egypt and there prouided for him in so much as the text saith of him that he nourished his father and his brethren and all his fathers house-hold with bread Euen as the mother puts meat into the childs mouth Gen. 47. 12. When Naomi the step-mother of Ruth was of great yeares and her strength spent Ruth gathered corne in the haruest for reliefe of them both Yea when Boaz gaue her to eate and to drinke she reserued part of her victuals brought it home with her gleanes to refresh her mother Ruth 2. 14. 18. The necessitie of the performance of these duties is so great that if the sonne neglecteth them and doth the contrarie by ill vsage of his parent either in word or deed he is worthie of death euen by Moses law Exod. 21. 15. He that smiteth his father or his mother shall die the death The law of the first borne of a mans children that he should haue a greater portion of his fathers goods then any of the rest of his brethren is perpetuall and admits no exception but only in the case of notorious wickednes Deut. 21. 17. He shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the first borne giue him a double portion of all that he hath for he is the first of his strength and to him belongeth the right of the first borne This was the law yet we reade that Ruben lost this prerogatiue by reason of his incest and Iudah the fourth sonne of Iacob had the dignitie of the first borne Gen. 49. 8. Thou Iudah thy brethren shall prayse thee thy fathers sonnes shall bow downe vnto thee In the Church of the old Testament the priuiledge of the first borne was three-fold the first of gouernment and royaltie the second of Priesthood the third of the double portion And it is probable that this was for the most part Ceremoniall and was accomplished and determined in Christ who was the Image of the inuisible God the first borne of euery creature Colos. 1. 15. Heere two questions are propounded Quest. I. Whether is it lawfull for the sonne to make a vow belonging either to religion or to ciuill conuersation without the consent of the parent Answ. A vow so made is not of force to bind the child but by the Law of nature common equitie is to be made void For it is a ruled case that he which is not his owne man that is to say at his owne libertie but vnder the power of another cannot bind himselfe Againe the authoritie of the parent by the law of God is great For it alloweth the father to make void the vow of the child pertaining to Gods worship Numb 30. 6. Quest. II. Whether is the consent of the parents to be required in the second mariages of their children Answ. 1. Of ancient times both by Ciuill lawes also by Imperial constitutions it was prouided that no widowes though made free by their former mariages should make any contract againe without the good will of their parents 2. Consent in this case though it be not absolutely necessarie yet it is to be thought fit and conuenient because children in some regards exempted from parents authoritie doe owe notwithstanding the dutie of honor vnto them by Gods expresse commandement Exod. 20. 12. and consequently ought to testifie the same by being ordered and aduised by them in some sort euen at the after-bestowing of themselues Hence it is that later Diuines haue holden vpon good ground That the espousals of widowes who haue some more libertie then the child first married being made without their parents knowledge cannot but incurre iust reprehension howsoeuer they may stand in force without it CHAP. 15.
a table and a stoole and a candlesticke that he may turne in hither when he commeth to vs. These are the duties Heere if it be demanded whether the master of a familie is alway and necessarily bound in his owne person to doe all these things I answere that if there be iust and necessarie cause either in respect of his owne inabilitie or in regard of publike imployment vpon a lawfull calling whereby he is hindred so as he cannot do any of them himselfe at some times it is lawfull for him to haue and vse a deputie This our Sauiour Christ teacheth in effect when he saith Who then is a faithfull seruant and wise whom his master hath made ruler ouer his houshold to giue them meate in season Mat. 24. 25. Thus Abraham had a steward of his house Eliezer of Damascus Gen. 15. 2. and he performed the waightiest matters that concerned the establishment and continuance of Familie not by himselfe but by his Steward as namely the choice of a wife for his sonne Isaak Gen. 24. 2. Therefore Abraham said vnto his eldest seruant of his house which had the rule ouer all that hee had Put now thine hand vnder my thigh c. Thus Pharaoh King of Egypt had Ioseph Gen. 39. 4. So Ioseph found fauour in his sight and serued him and hee made him ruler of his house and put all that he had in his hands CHAP. 18. Of the Mistresse of the familie or Goodwife of the house THe Goodwife or Mistresse of the house is a person which yeeldeth helpe and assistance in gouernmeÌ„t to the Master of the familie For he is as it were the prince and chiece ruler she is the associate not only in office and authoritie but also in aduise and counsell vnto him 1. King 17. 17. And after these things the sonne of the woman which was wife or mistresse of the house was sicke Her dutie is two-fold First to gouerne the house as much as concerneth her in her place 1. Tim. 5. 14. I will therefore that the yonger women marrie and gouerne the house And that she doth three waies I. By exercising her selfe in some profitable employments for the good of her charge Prou. 31. 13. She seeketh wooll and flax and laboureth cheerefully with her hands II. By appointing her maids their worke and ouerseeing them therein Vers. 15. She riseth whiles it is yet night and giueth the portion to her houshold and the ordinary to her maids III. By ordering her children and seruants in wisdome partly by instruction partly by admonition wheÌ„ there is need Vers. 26. Shee openeth her mouth with wisdome and the law of grace is in her tongue vers 28. Her children rise vp and call her blessed c. Tit. 2. 5. That they be discreet chast keeping at home c. Act. 18. 26. Priscilla in her house with Aquila instructed Apollos in that wherin he was wanting expounding vnto him the way of God more perfectly Gregorie Nazianzen in an Oration made for his father saith That his mother was not only an helper but also a teacher or instructer and guide vnto his father in matters of religion godlines The second dutie is to giue the portion of food vnto her familie or cause it to be giuen in due season Prou. 31. 15. She riseth whiles it is yet night and giueth the portioÌ„ or meat to her houshold Thus did Rebekah in her house Gen. 27. 9. Get thee now to the flock bring me theÌ„ce two good kids of the goats that I may make pleasant meat of theÌ„ for thy father such as he loueth Quest. Whether may the goodwife without the consent of the goodman giue and bestow the goods belonging to the familie Ans. I. There are some things which are proper to her selfe and not part of her dowry which she brought vnto her husband And these she may claime as her owne because either they were reserued vpon the match made betweene them or else are peculiar vnto her by their mutuall consent and of them she may lawfully giue without her husbands knowledge II. The goods which are common to them both are of another nature and these shee may not bestow without his allowance either expresse or at least general and implicite specially when the giuing of them doth or may grow in likelihood to the hinderance and preiudice of the state of the familie FINIS * 〈…〉 〈…〉 Xenoph. ibid. * 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Cic. 3. de Nat. Deor. 1. Tim. 3. 5 Gen. 6. 12. 1. Sam. 2. 12. 23 24 25. 2. Sam. 14 33. 1. King 5. 6. 2. Sam. 15 1. King 1. Aristot. Politic. Xenoph. in Oecon. Psal. 128. 1 1. Tim. 4. 8 1. Cor. 7. 1. 2. 8. 9. Bellarm. de Matrim Sacram. libr. c. 19. Concil Trident. Sess. 24. Decreto de clandest Matrim Matth. 5. 32. Concil Trid. Sess. 24. Can. 7. a See the Code in sundrie places Lib. 5. tit 4 de Nuptijs tit 5. de incesto c. b Concil Trid. sess 24. can 12. Bellarm. de Matrim Sacram. cap. 32. Psal. 128. 3. Act. 20. 32 * 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 * Diu deliberandum quod sâ—mel staâ—uendum * In verâ—is de 〈…〉 * In futurum * Non de facto de â—ure * De praesenti * Jn sauorem Matrimony Rom. 1. 26 * Species Leuit. 18 22. 23. * Ebr. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Sobriuo propior De ciuit Dei lib. 1â— ca. 16. Epistâ—l li. 〈◊〉 66. 1. Cor. 6. Beza de repudijs 82. * Cuius nuptias inâ—re non licet eius nec coniuâ—is licet Chap. 18. * Impuberes * Turpi Tertul. ad vxor li. 2. * Dilucida interualla Gal. 4. 1. Repudium * De honestate Sub Innocent 3. canon 51. Tertul. lib. ad vxorem 2. ad finem * Ritè Iure Basil. epist. 1. ad Amphiloch Canon 42. Lib. 2. ad vxorem * Oblationem sic exponit Beatus Rhenanus Niceph. lib. 14. cap. 55. Ambros. epistolar lib. 9. epist. 70. ad Vigilium Ambros. in 1. Cor. 7. 15. Libr. 4. dist 39. Lib. de Fide operib cap. 1â— Canon Proposuisti Distinct 82. Sozomen lib. 3. cap. 16. Sess. 8. Canon 9. 10. Ambros. lib. de Philosoph citat ab August contr Iulianum lib. 2. Arist. Ethic lib. 8. In 1. Cor. 11. Homil 26. 〈…〉 * In potestate patris Ruffin Eccles hist. lib. 1. c. 14. Nazianz. epist. ad Eudoxam * C. de Nuptijs L. vidua L. in coÌ„iunctione * Beza de repud diuort sect de spoÌ„salibus absque consensu parfactis Arist. Oeconom 7. Theodor Orat. 8. Aristot. polit lib. 1. * Ethchanicau suos initiatos * In Ioan. tract 51. in fine * Bagnalath babbaijth Domina domus
free to all men euen to such as haue the gift of continencie and for those who haue not the power to abstaine it is expressely enioyned by God as necessarie Which discouereth that error of absolute inhibition thereof to some sorts of men without the least exception of abilitie to forbeare And in this case though the Church of Rome prescribeth an helpe by prayer and indeuour where the gift is wanting yet herein she addeth two more absurdities to the former imposing a necessitie of containing by her lawes where God hath giuen libertie by his word and causing to flee from that onely Remedie which himselfe hath sanctified to another whereunto hee neither giueth charge by his will nor incouragement by promise II. That Marriages consummate without the free and aduised consent of Parents either explicite in tearmes or implicite by conniuence are in the court of conscience meere nullities A doctrine cleered in this Booke both by Scriptures and by consent of Antiquitie Wherein is challenged the Iesuites proposition That the sole consent of the parties is sufficient ad Matrimonium firmum ac ratum efficiendum As also that decree of the Councell of Trent which professeth a detestation of clandestine contracts and yet with the same breath pronounceth the curse of Anathema vpon them who affirme that Parents may ratifie or make voide Mariages contracted by their children without their allowance III. That Matrimonie lawfullie begun and consummate is made voide onely by way of diuorce in the case of Adulterie So saith our Sauiour Whosoeuer shall put away his wife except it be for fornication c. And this liberty granted by Christ both to dissolue and to marrie againe cannot be restrained or cut off by any humane ordinance A point directlie impugned by two other Rules of that Councell One that the Church of Rome erreth not when she teacheth as they professe Iuxta Euangelicam Apostolicam doctrinam but in truth expressely contradictory thereunto That the knot of mariage cannot be broken because of adulterie and that neither partie may vndertake to be maried againe during the life of the other after the dismission The other that the vow of Chastitie and entring into holy Orders is of force to loose the bond of Mariage And in this case separation is made and allowed de facto by the sole authoritie of the Pope notwithstanding the refusall of the setled partie to yeeld consent IV. That the iudgement and determination of causes matrimoniall as of Contracts and their impediments of degrees of kinred of diuorces c. resteth originally in the ciuill Magistrate in whose power it is to ordaine and establish lawes touching them agreeable to Gods word and to cause them to be put in execution For this purpose in doubtfull and difficult cases the ancient Church hath not absolutely rested in her owne decrees but hath made recourse to the seate of Iustice specially vnder Christian Magistrates submitting her selfe to their lawes and constitutions in that kinde Whereas the Church of Rome hath determined that these causes doe simplie and only appertaine to Ecclesiasticall Iudges and therefore hath concluded Mariage to be a Sacrament that the definition of cases coniugall becomming vpon this ground an action of a spirituall nature might be transferred from the Ciuill to their spirituall Courts The soueraigntie whereof in these affaires by their owne constitutions is greatly inlarged For though they admit that politike Princes haue some interest in them yet they must hold it with subordination to the autoritie of the Church-Magistrate and when the Rector of the Prouince maketh a law hereof hee must doe it approbante Principe Ecclesiastico by the allowance of the Pope otherwise his lawes are meere nullities And among their reasons of policie this is one of the principall that they might by this meanes raise a commoditie to the Sea of Rome by the sale of their dispensations Now these points together with the substance of this small discourse I willingly commend vnto your Lordship desiring that vnder the wings of your Honourable protection it may safelie walke abroad in the world to the view and benefit of others The true report of your ancient loue of the truth and fauourable inclination to the Ministers and dispensers thereof hath giuen mee incouragement in this action the rather for that the Argument fitteth in some sort your present estate whose house God hath adorned with oliue plants a vertuous and hopefull issue whose young yeeres being seasoned therein by the sweete sauour of their fathers vertues may yeeld in time a plentifull increase of Honour in this Common-wealth and consequentlie aduance your Name in themselues and their posteritie To this may be added mine own desire to giue some testimonie of dutie to your Lordship as holding it your due to be had in Honourable tearmes with men whose care hath been to maintaine the Honour of the Highest by your constant profession and practise of Religion And thus emboldening my selfe vpon the perswasion of your Lordships fauour and acceptance I humblie take my leaue and commend you to the grace of God who is able to build you vp further and giue you an inheritance among them which are sanctified Finching-field Septemb 26. 1609. Your Lordships to be commanded in all Christian dutie THO. PICKERING A SHORT SVRVEY OF THE RIGHT MANNER OF ERECTING and ordering a Familie according to the Scriptures CHAP. I. Of Christian Oeconomie and of the Familie CHristian Oeconomie is a doctrine of the right ordring of a Familie The onely rule of ordering the Family is the written word of God By it Dauid resolued to gouerne his House wheÌ„ he saith I will walke in the vprightnesse of my heart in the midst of my house Psal. 101. 2. And Salomon affirmeth that through wisdome an house is builded and with vnderstanding it is established Prou. 24. 3. A Familie is a naturall and simple Societie of certaine persons hauing mutuall relation one to another vnder the priuate gouernement of one These persons must be at the least three because two cannot make a societie And aboue three vnder the same head there may be a thousand in one familie as it is in the households of Princes and men of state in the world CHAP. 2. Of the Household seruice of God A Family for the good estate of it selfe is bound to the performance of two duties one to God the other to it selfe The dutie vnto God is the priuate Worship and Seruice of God which must be established and setled in euery family And the reasons hereof are these First because this duty standeth by the expresse commandement of God who by his Apostle willeth men to pray â—â—ery where lifting vp pure hands without â—â—rath or doubting 1. Tim. 2. 8. Againe it is confirmed by the cuâ—â—ome and practise of holy men in their â—mes I know saith the Lord touching Abraham that he will commaund his sonnes and his household after him that
â—hey keepe the way of the Lord to doe righâ—â—eousnesse and iudgement that the Lord may bring vpon Abraham that which he hath spoken to him â—en 18. 19. To the same purpose speaketh Ioshua If it seeme euill vnto you to serue the Lord chuse this day whom yee will serue whether the gods whom your Fathers serued that were beyond the floud or the gods of the Amorites in whose land ye dwell But I and my house will serue the Lord Iosh. 24. 15. And Cornelius is reported to haue been a deuout man and one that feared God with all his household Act. 10. 2. Thirdly common reason and equitie sheweth it to be a necessarie dutie for the happie and prosperous estate of the familie which consisteth in the mutuall loue and agreement of the Man and Wife in the dutifull obedience of children to their parents and in the faithfull seruice of seruants to their Masters wholly dependeth vpon the grace and blessing of God and this blessing is annexed to his worship for 1. Tim. 4. 8. Godlinesse hath the promises of this life and the life to come Psalm 127. 1. Except the Lord builde the house they labour in vaine that builde except the Lord keepe the Citie the keeper watcheth in vaine Vers. 2. It is in vaine for you to rise early and to lie downe late and eate the bread of sorrow but he will surely giue rest to his beloued Vers. 3. Beholde children are the inheritance of Iehouah and the fruite of the wombe his rewarde Psalm 128. 1. Blessed is euery one that feareth the Lord and walketh in his waies Vers. 2. When thou eatest the labours of thy hands thou shalt be blessed and it shall bee well with thee Vers. 3. Thy wife shall be as the fruitefull vine vpon the sides of thy house and thy children like Oliue plants round about thy table Vers. 6. Yea thou shalt see thy childrens children and peace vpon Israel 1. Sam. 1. 27. I prayed saith Hannah for this childe and the Lord hath giuen mee my desire which I asked of him The household seruice of God hath two parts the first is a conference vpon the word of God for the edification of all the members thereof to eternall life The second is Inuocation of the name of God with giuing of thankes for his benefits both these are commended in the Scriptures Deut. 6. 6. These words which I command thee this day shall be in thy heart Vers. 7. And thou shalt whet them vpon thy children talke of theÌ„ wheÌ„ thou tariest in thine house as thou walkest by the way and when thou liest downe and when thou risest vp Vers. 20. When thy sonne shall aske thee in time to come saying what meane these testimonies and ordinances and lawes which the Lord our God hath commanded you Vers. 21. Then thou shalt say vnto thy son we were Pharaohs bondmeÌ„ in Egypt but the Lord brought vs out of Egypt with a mightie hand Vers. 24. Therefore the Lord hath commanded vs to do all these ordinaÌ„ces to fear the Lord our God Psal. 14. 1. The foole hath said in his heart There is no God v. 4. They cal not vpoÌ„ God The times of this seruice are these The morning in which the familie comming together in one place is to call vpon the name of the Lord before they begin the workes of their callings The euening also is another time to be vsed in prayer because the familie hath seene the blessing of God vpon their labours the day before and now the time or rest draweth on in which euery one is to commend his body and soule into the protection of the Lord for no man knoweth what shall befall him before he rise again neither knoweth any whether euer he shal rise againe or not it is therefore a desperate boldnesse without praying to go to rest Besides this there be other times also wherein to performe this dutie as before and after meales For meats and drinkes are blessed to the receiuers by the word and prayer 1. Tim. 4. 4. Whatsoeuer God hath created is good neither is any thing to be refused if it be taken with thankesgiuing for it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer Now these times the word of God approueth Deut. 6. 6. Thou shalt talke of them when thou liest downe aud when thou risest vp Psalm 55. 18. Euening and morning and at noone I will pray and make a noise and he wil heare my voice Psa. 127. 1. It is in vaine to rise earely and to lie downe late and eate the bread of sorrow except the Lord vouchsafe a blessing who will surely giue rest to his beloued To these may sometimes be added the exercise of fasting which is as occasioÌ„ serueth to be vsed both publikely priuately especially when they of the familie be therunto called by some present or imminent calamitie Hest. 4. 16. Go and assemble all the Iewes that are found in Shusan and fast yee for mee and eate not nor drinke in three daies day nor night I also and my maids will fast likewise and so will I go in to the King which is not according to the law and if I perish I perish Zachar. 12. 11. And in that day shall there be a great mourning in Ierusalem and the land shall bewaile euery familie apart the family of the house of Dauid apart and their wiues apart the family of the house of Nathan apart and their wiues apart c. Wherefore those families wherein this seruice of God is performed are as it were little Churches yea euen a kind of paradise vpon earth And for this purpose S. Paul writing to Philemon greeteth the Church that is in his house Philem. 1. 2. And in like manner he sendeth salutations to the Church of Corinth from Aquila and Priscilla and the Church which was in their house 1. Cor. 16. 19. On the otherside where this dutie of Gods seruice is not vsed but either for the most part or altogether neglected a man may tearme those families no better then companies of prophane and gracelesse Atheists who as they deny God in their harts so they are knowne by this note that they doe not call vpon the name of the Lord Psalm 14. 4. Yea such families are fitly compared to an heard of swine which are alwaies feeding vpon the maste with greedinesse but neuer looke vp to the hand that beateth it downe nor to the tree from whence it falleth The other dutie concerning the house it selfe is That euery member in the familie according to their abilitie employ themselues in some honest and profitable businesse to maintaine the temporall estate and life of the whole Gen. 3. 19. In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread till thou returne to the earth for out of it wast thou taken for dust thou art and to dust shalt thou returne 1. Cor. 7. 20. Let euery man abide in the same vocation wherein he was called Now
time proues incurablie contagious and so lothsome that the one may iustly feare to keepe and conuerse with the other as it falleth out when one is tainted with leprosie then the contract is vtterly to be dissolued as if God himself should haue commanded it though the promise was formerlie made the parties themselues should be vnwilling God hath ordained Matrimonie to helpe not to hurt either the persons themselues or others Where therefore these diseases be which may infect hurt or destroy others there God hath as it were testified from heauen that the act done is not pleasing vnto him and that presently it ought to be frustrate The contract being thus once dissolued the sounder partie shall be at his or her libertie to marrie againe But the diseased is by the Magistrates authoritie to be forbidden societie with any other in way of mariage and commanded to lead his life where he may conueniently from companie for feare of infection And withal he is for his owne part to sue vnto God by prayer in faith for the gift of continencie For certaine it is that he to whom God hath denied the power of vsing mariage with good conscience is thereby euen called to continencie and single life But if the disease be not contagious yet either incurable or so nastie that either of the espoused hath iust cause to be afraid of the others companie then both are to be aduised not to claime their right but willingly to surrender it each to other by mutuall consent that they may be free againe not bound by any former promise to liue together as man and wife Considering that they haue no hope mutually to conuerse together with comfort contentment while they so remaine Vpon this aduice giuen by their lawfull Pastor or some in his stead if they both yeeld or one of them at the least desires to be at his owne libertie the espousals are forthwith to be brokeÌ„ off But if neither will consent to a separation but rather proceed as they haue begun and in probability the one haue no iust cause to hold the other in suspition in respect of contagion they are not to be hindered from the consummation of their mariage Furthermore though one of them should haue a disease which is continuall without intermission yet curable or any other incoÌ„uenience should befall either of them after the sure-making wherby they become lame deafe or dumbe c. yet this is not a sufficient cause to moue them to renounce and dissolue the contract A second Case What if it falleth out that after the finishing of the contract one of the espoused persons bee long absent from the other so as the absence bee preiudiciall to the mariage that should ensue vpon the contract Answ. Inquirie must be made whether this absence be voluntarie or against the will of the partie If it be voluntarie For example if the man vpon an honest and iust cause the woman also being priuie thereunto shall go beyond seas and being admonished of his dutie before hand shal notwithstanding stay a whole yeare or more and will not returne but further wilfully absent himselfe then may it be lawfull to the woman to craue of the publike Magistrate a dissolution of the couenant made consequently marry another man vnlesse the former to whom she was contracted be heard of If he be then shall it be lawfull for him to pleade for himselfe and tendring no iust cause of his refusall he shall be forced by the Magistrates authoritie to stand to his promise and take the woman for his wife And the same order is to be taken in the wilfull absence of the woman after she is contracted If againe the man or woman shall vpon an euill mind and with purpose to deceiue each other absent theÌ„selues and depart meanes must be vsed that they may be admonished of their dutie That being done or at least vndertaken and yet the partie offending will not appeare if the other that is present vpon certaine knowledge of his or her want in respect of continencie shall sue to the Magistrate after publike and solemne notice giuen the contract may be broken But if on the other side either of them be absent against their wil and intendeth no fraud or deceit but is violently detained by captiuitie imprisonment sicknes force banishment transportation or such like then the partie present being desirous of the consummation of the mariage ought either to make meanes vnto him and expect his returne or haue certaine notice of his death before she promise or haue to do with any other in way of mariage A third Case What if after the contract one of the parties becomes furious or madde Answ. If the disease be continuall without intermission in all equitie and likelihood the espousals are to be dissolued vnlesse both parties after knowledge and experience of the disease haue knowne one another yet in this and all such like cases it is fit that all good meanes be tried and vsed and sufficient time be giuen for the restoring of the diseased to their former good estate and for the accomplishment of the mariage lawfully begun as before CHAP. 8. Of Mariage MAriage is that wherby the coniunction formerly begunne in the contract is solemnely manifested and brought to perfection Mariage is consummate by three sorts of actions one of the parents of the Bride and Bridegroome the other of the Minister in publike the third of the persons coupled together The action of the Parents is vpon the Mariage-day to bring the Bride and deliuer her to the Bride-groome that they two may become actually man and wife and performe each to other all matrimoniall duties And where the mariage is complete in any other manner so as the Parents vpon sound iudgement and deliberation shall deny their full and free consent either in expresse words or by coÌ„niuence and silence and that vpon iust and lawfull cause there though in the ciuill courts of men it may stand and the children borne therein bee legitimate before men yet the truth is before God it is of no force but a meere nullitie And because this doctrine touching consent of parents in these Cases is of great vse and auaileth much to the supporting and maiâ—â—â—ining of families I will first open the truth thereof and then proue it by reasons Vnder the name of parents are comprehended First the Father and Mother Secondly all Tutors and Guardians who haue the proper sole charge of wards or others vnder yeares of discretion Thirdly all such as are kindred of blood who are in stead of parents to childreÌ„ as the vncle by the fathers side the vncle by the mothers side and such like Now touching the consent of parents that is of father and mother I hold it requisite of necessitie to marriage For the authoritie of parents must not be resisted or violated As for Tutors and such as haue the place of parents their consent is not
her It was Gods commandement to Abraham concerning Sarah his wife Let it not be grieuous in thy sight for the child and for thy bond-woman in all that Sarah shall say vnto thee heare her voice For in Isaak shall thy seed be called Gen. 21. 12. Thus Elkanah was willing to subscribe vnto his wife Annaes aduice for her tarrying at home till the child was weaned 1. Sam. 1. 23. And Elkanah her husband said vnto her do what seemeth thee best tarrie vntill thou hast weaned him only the Lord accomplish his word Hereupon the Heathen Philosopher said That the master of the familie exerciseth after a sort a power Tyrannical ouer his seruants a power Regall ouer his children because Kings are fathers of their Cōmon-weales but in respect of his wife he exerciseth a power Aristocraticall not after his owne will but agreeable to the honor and dignitie of the married estate and consequently that he ought not in modestie to challenge the priuiledge of prescribing and aduertising his wife in al matters domesticall but in some to leaue her to her owne will and iudgement Heere question is moued whether the husband may correct the wife Answ. Though the husband be the wiues head yet it seemeth he hath no power nor libertie granted him in this regard For we reade not in the Scriptures any precept or example to warrant such practise of his authoritie He may reproue admonish her in word only if he seeth her in fault For thus we reade that Iacob censured his wife being impatient euen in anger Gen. 30. 2. Am I in Gods stead which hath withholden from thee the fruit of the wombe And Iob reproued his wife Iob 2. 10. Thou speakest like a foolish woman What Shall we receiue good at the hand of God and not receiue euill But hee may not chastise her either with stripes or stroks The reason is plaine Wiues are their husbands mates and they two be one flesh And no man will hate much lesse beat his owne flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it Ephes. 5. 29. Againe it is the commandement of God that man should not trespasse against the wife of his youth Malac. 2. 15. Chrysostome saith It is the greatest reproch for any man that can bee to beate his wife Plutarch in the life of Cato the Censor affirmeth that he which smiteth his wife doth all one as if he should lay violent hands vpon the sacred images of the gods which was counted an high degree of offence among the Heathen It is alledged Husbands are cōmanded so to loue their wiues as Christ doth his Church now Christ chastiseth his Church with strokes therefore so may the husband his wife Answ. As Christ doth entirely loue his Church so hee may also chastise the same because hee is not only the husband but also absolute Lord and King of his Church so is not the husband absolute ouer the wife But his authority ouer the wife is after a sort ciuill as is the authoritie of the Magistrate ouer his people Ans. It is not so For the Magistrate hath in his hand the power of the sword by which power he inflicteth punishment in case of offence But the husband can challenge to himselfe no such power yea it is flatly forbidden in the Ciuil law that he should scourge or strike his wife Neuerthelesse if she grow to extremities and be desperately peruerse so as there be no hope of amendment then the Magistrate may be informed who to preuent scandals and to prouide for publike peace both ought and may assigne vnto her necessary correction and punishment according to her desert Now the husband that hath a wife so stubborne and peeuish must beare it if it may be borne as the portion of his crosse laid vpon him by God And in this case if he be impatient he may in some sort be pardoned and pitied but he is not wholly to be excused CHAP. 12. Of the Wife THe wife is the other married person who being subiect to her husband yeeldeth obedience vnto him Touching the subiection of the wife the word of God mētioneth it in sundrie places Rom. 7. 2. The woman which is in subiection to the man is bound by the law to the man while he liueth Ephes. 5. 24. As the Church is in subiection to Christ euen so let the wiues bee to their husbands in euery thing Colos. 3. 18. Wiues submit your selues vnto your husbands as it is comely in the Lord. 1. Tim. 2. 12. I permit not a woman to vsurpe authoritie ouer the man And it was a law established by God immediately after the fal Gen. 3. 16. Vnto the woman he said I wil greatly increase c. and thy desire shal be subiect to thine husband and he shall rule ouer thee Indeed the daughter according to the Ciuill law euen when shee is married is in the power of her father and not of her husband But this is directly against the law of Moses and crosseth the law of Nature Leuit. 22. 12. 13. Numb 30. 13. Now the duties of the wife are principally two The first is to submit her selfe to her husband and to acknowledge and reuerence him as her head in all things Gen. 20. 16. Likewise Abimelech said vnto Sarah Behold thy brother that is thy husband whom thou callest thy brother is the vaile of thine eyes to all that are with thee As if he should say Thy husband is thy head and hath power ouer thee and thou oughtest to reuerence him For of ancient times the wife was couered with a vaile in the presence of her husband in token of subiection to him Thus Rebekah at the sight of Isaak tooke a vaile and couered her head therewith Gen. 24. 65. 1. Cor. 11. 3. The man is the womans head Ephes. 5. 22. Wiues submit your selues vnto your husbands as vnto the Lord for the husband is the wiues head euen as Christ is the head of his Church The reason hereof is good For the wife enioyeth the priuiledges of her husband and is graced by his honor and estimation amongst men His Nobilitie maketh her noble though otherwise shee is base and meane as contrariwise his basenesse and low degree causeth her though shee bee by birth noble and honorable to bee by estate base and meane The second dutie is to be obedient vnto her husband in all things that is wholly to depend vpon him both in iudgement and will For looke as the Church yeelds obedience to Christ her head and yeelds her selfe to be commanded gouerned and directed by him so ought the woman to the man So Sarah is said to obey Abraham and to giue him the termes of obedience Shee called him Lord or Sir 1. Pet. 3. 6. Hence it followeth that the woman is not to take libertie of wandring and straying abroad from her owne house without the mans knowledge cōsent 2. King 4. 22. Then she called to her husband and said Send with me
the one from the other or of those that be parents from their children considering that God himselfe hath made these societies and ioyned such persons together and therefore man may not separate them V. That the masters do not take libertie to put ouer their seruants to vngodly and vnbelieuing masters for that is an vnkind and cruell libertie may be an apparāt occasion to make the seruant fall away from religion and renounce the true God VI. That they do not bind them to perpetuall slauery neuer make them free Exo. 21. 5. But if the seruant say thus I loue my master my wife and my children I will not go out free VII That the seruitude be not procured and retained by force for it is a more grieuous crime to spoile a man of his libertie then of his riches Now y t the same power limited with these cautions is lawfull warrantable in cōsciēce it appears by these reasons I. God hath ordained allowed it euen by warrant of his owne law The posteritie of Cham was cursed by Noah and condemned to slauerie Gen. 9. 25. And he said Cursed be Cham a seruant of seruants shal he be to his brethren So were the Gibeonites by Ioshua Ios. 9. 23. Now therefore yee are cursed and there shall none of you be freed from being bond-men and hewers of wood drawers of water for the house of my God So was the theefe Exo. 22. 3. If he had not wherewith to make restitution then hee should bee sold for his theft Again those that are ouercome in war may be held captiue and it is lawful for the conquerer to kill them therefore to make them slaues and if being takē they be saued from death they owe all that they haue to them by whom they are saued II. The law of God gaue libertie to any mā that would to make sale of himselfe to another Leuit. 25. 45. Of the children of the strangers that are soiourners among you of them shal ye buy of their families that are with you which they begat in your land these shall be your possessiō Deut. 15. 12. If thy brother an Hebrew sell himself to thee or an Hebrewesse and serue thee six yeares euē in the seuenth yeare thou shalt let him go free from thee and vers 17. Thou shalt take an aule pierce his eare through against the doore and he shall be thy seruant for euer III. The mā that is ransommed frō his enemie is bound to serue as a slaue in liew of thankfulnesse IV. The examples of the godly in the Scriptures Abraham had seruants whom he bought for siluer Gen. 17. 12. Euerie manchild of eight daies old among you shal be circumcised in your generations as well he that is borne in thine house as he that is bough with money of any stranger which is not of thy seed Gen. 24. 35. The Lord hath blessed my master Abraham wōderfully for he hath giuen him sheep and beeues and siluer and gold men-seruants and maid-seruants and camels and asses V. The Apostles do not disallow of such seruāts but cōmand thē being seruants called to the professiō of Christianitie in that state not to change but to abide in their calling 1. Cor. 7. 21. Art thou called being a seruant care not for it It is alledged that such seruitude is against the law of nature Ans. It is indeed against the law of intire nature as it was before the fall but against the law of corrupted nature since the fall it is not But Christ hath purchased liberty to belieuers Coloss. 5. 11. Ans. Only a spirituall libertie in this life a corporal only in the life to come For though y ◠seruant in regard of faith the inner man be equal to his master because in Christ Iesus there is neither master nor seruāt bond nor free yet in regard of the outward man ciuill order amongst men the master is aboue the seruant and the seruant is must be subiect to the master Neuerthelesse where this kind of seruitude is abolished it is not to be againe receiued or intertained amongst Christians specially considering it is a far more milde and moderate course to haue hired seruants If it be said againe that the Heathen Philosopher holdeth seruitude to be naturall wherby some are by birth bond and others free I answere That seruitude proceedeth not of nature but hath his originall from the lawes of nations and is a consequent of the fall For all men by nature are equally indifferētly free none more or lesse then others CHAP. 17. Of the Master of the familie or goodman of the house THus much touching the diuers and seuerall combinations or couples belonging to the state Oeconomicall Frō which do arise two persons of a mixt or compounded nature and condition cōmonly called the Goodman the Goodwife of y e house The good man or master of the familie is a person in whom resteth the priuate and proper gouernment of the whole houshold and he comes not vnto it by election as it falleth out in other states but by the ordinance of God setled euen in the order of nature The husbād indeed naturally beares rule ouer the wife parents ouer their childrē masters ouer their seruāts but that person who by the prouidence of God hath y e place of an husband a father a master in his house the same also by the light of nature hath the principality soueraigntie therein and he is Paterfamilias the father and chiefe head of the familie to him therefore the true right and power ouer all matters domestical of right appertaineth The duties of the master of the familie are specially fiue I. To beare the chiefe stroke and to be the principal agent directer and furtherer of the worship of God within his familie Ios. 24. 15. I and my household wil serue the Lord. And this he doth partly by praying for with his houshold and partly by instructing thē in the holy Scriptures and in the grounds of religiō that they may grow in knowledge and reape benefit by the publike Ministerie Thus God commanded the men of Israel to walke in their families Deut. 6. 7. Thou shalt rehearse them continually vnto thy children and shalt talke of them when thou tariest in thine house when thou liest downe when thou risest vp Againe vers 20. When thy sonne shall aske thee what meane these testimonies and ordināces lawes which the Lord our God commanded you Then thou shalt say vnto thy son We were Pharaohs bondmen in Egypt but the Lord brought vs out of Egypt with a mightie hand This testimony God gaue of Abraham before the law was giuen Gen. 18. 19. For I know Abraham that he will command his sons and his houshold after him that they keepe the way of the Lord. And this houshold of Abraham was very large for the holy Ghost saies long before that he had three