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duty_n	day_n	time_n	work_n	2,608	5	5.7529	4	true

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ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A47513	A new family-book, or, The true interest of families being directions to parents and children, and to those who are instead of parents : shewing them their several duties, and how they may be happy in one another : together with several prayers for families and children, and graces before and after meat : to which is annexed a discourse about the right way of improving our time / by James Kirkwood ... ; with a preface, by Dr. Horneck.	Kirkwood, James, 1650?-1709.; Horneck, Anthony, 1641-1697.	1693 (1693)	Wing K647; ESTC R15399	107,616	291

Ecclesiasticus 33. 18 19 c. Hear me O ye great Men of the People and hearken with your Ears ye Rulers of the Congregation Give not thy Son and Wife thy Brother and Friend power over thee while thou livest and give not thy Goods to another lest it repent thee and thou intreat for the same again As long as thou livest and hast Breath in thee give not thy self over to any For better it is that thy Children should seek to thee than that thou shouldest stand to their Courtesie In all thy works keep to thy self the Preeminence leave not a stain in thine Honour At the time when thou shalt end thy days and finish thy Life distribute thy Inheritance 4 thly 'T is the Duty of Parents to have their Will and Testament in readiness They ought while they are in Health to determine the several Proportions of their Worldly Goods which they intend to bestow on their Children and not to leave the doing of this till the very immediate approach of Death A wise Man ought so to dispose of his affairs in time that when he comes to die he may have as little work to do as is possible 'T is very unfit on many accounts to leave the ordering of those things which relate to a Man's Estate unto the last hour For 1. No Man knows if he shall have a leisurely Passage out of the World so as to have time to settle his affairs a thousand Accidents may prevent this of which see Discourse about the right way of Improving our Time Motive 2 d. 2 dly Tho' you should have time on your Death-Bed for ordering your Temporal Affairs yet what signifies Time considered abstractly and separately if you are not fit to use it For ought you know your Sickness then may so affect your Head that you shall not be able to act any longer as rational Creatures but must be governed and taken care of by others as if you were Children upon the Breasts or perhaps as Persons in a much more sad and lamentable condition Now therefore it is fit for all who are wise to provide against such Casualties and not to delay so important and necessary a work to an uncertain Moment 3 dly Supposing you have a leisurely passage out of this Life together with the use of your Reason all the while yet consider that you are likely to have enough to do in your last hours tho' the ordering of your Temporal concerns do not then lie upon your Hands Your Spiritual Enemies will very probably at that time muster up all their Forces and use their utmost Effort either to conquer you or to frighten and disturb you You will then find that all your Preparation is little enough that you may finish your course with Joy The sight of Death will make you see a great many things far otherwise than you saw them in time of Health The things of this Life will then appear very little and inconsiderable and Eternity will appear as a vast and boundless Ocean Your good actions will appear but very few and imperfect and your Sins and Follies very many and great Thus it is generally with the best and most Holy Persons and therefore 't is your wisest and safest course to dispatch not only as much of your great Business as you can before the approach of Death but likewise to dispose of your Worldly Concerns in such a manner that they may not prove a hindrance and a burthen to you at that time when you are to have a sharp Conflict with the King of Terrors But besides all these Considerations which ought to excite you to put your House in order in time of your Health consider farther that by so doing you will prevent a great deal of Trouble and Confusion and of Strife and Division which oft-times happen amongst Children when their several Portions are not assigned them by the Will of their Parents How sad is it to reflect upon so many Instances of this kind as have happened in our days It cannot but be look'd upon as a great Reproach to our Holy Religion to see Brethren and other near Relations contending and going to Law with one another and thereby laying the Foundation of lasting Variance and Discord of Bitterness and Wrath of Anger and Clamour of Malice and Envy c. which too often are concluded with the Desolation and Destruction of one or other of the contending Parties if not of the whole Family How needful therefore is it for Parents to make their Will in good time when they are in Health when their Understanding is good when their Memory is perfect when they are able to think of Business and to judge calmly and discreetly of what they do when they can call to mind what they owe and what is owing to them And because of the great Falsehood and Wickedness of the World by which it often happens that the true sense of Mens words are perverted it is likewise very fit that Parents in setting their House in Order have the advice of those who are Skilful Upright and Faithful Persons by whose Assistance their Will may be framed in such Terms and Expressions as may so far as is possible prevent the Cavils of Crafty and Ungodly Men. As Parents ought to use a great deal of Caution and Circumspection in all things relating to their last Will so particularly in the choice of Guardians for their Children who after their own Decease may act the part of Parents towards them and may promote their Happiness and Welfare both in Temporal and Spiritual things If you know amongst your near Relations those who are Wise and Prudent True and Upright Persons who fear and love God and of whose sincere kindness you have had long experience 't is very reasonable to prefer them before Strangers But if you have found others more sincere and upright more prudent and discreet more kind and loving more constant in their Friendship and more faithful to your true Interest than your nearer Relations have been you ought rather to entrust your Children to their care than to those who tho' your Kinsmen have given you no great ground to expect much kindness and faithfulness at their hands towards your Children If they have not been very faithful to you 't is but madness to expect that they should prove more Faithful to them Tho' they may grow better yet no wise Man ought to trust so great and dear a concern to such an uncertainty Thus I have shewed you what are the principal Duties you owe to the Souls and Bodies of your Children and what you are to do for them as to their outward Estate The above mentioned particulars earnestly recommended to Parents FRom what hath been said you may see what a weighty and difficult Charge you have the sense whereof should excite you to beg of God earnestly every day that he would direct and assist you to perform the Duties that belong

One that being in Covenant with Evil Spirits calls upon them by certain Words and Rites to get their assistance in some vain or bad Design or other d One that calleth upon the Dead and enquireth of them as the Witch of Endor did 1 Sam. 28. 8 9. c. If they are unthankful to those who do them good and kind Offices * Dixeris maledicta cuncta cum ingratum Hominem dixeris See Xenoph Paed. Cyr. l. 1. * See Plin. Hist. l. 8. c. 16. Sen. de Benef l. 3. c. 19. Aul. Gel. l. 5. c. 14. If they are of too pr●digal a Temper If they are Covetous * Inde fere scelerum causae Juven Sat. 14. If they are naturally melancholy If they are of too gay and airy a Temper If they are Rash and Forward About chusing a fit Person to teach them to read About keeping them at School Great care ought to be taken what Books they read What they should do before they go to Church How they should carry themselves at Church What they should do when they come from Church Why the Lord's Day ought to be kept * Ambr. de Pentec Ser. 61. Children are to be possessed with a great regard for the Ministers of the Gospel * They who joyn with us in the publick Worship ought to think of their Obligation to this Duty when they hear these words of the Litany ●O God we have heard with our Ears and our Fathers have declared unto us the Noble Works that thou didst in their days and in the old time before them See Ps. 44. 1. 1. They must give their Children good Example 2. They must chuse good Company for them * Etiam sine Magistro vitia discuntur Sen. The great Danger that Children are in from Flatterers * Quintilian de causis corruptae Eloquentiae Advice to Parents who send their Children abroad to Travel 3. They must as need requires reprove and chasten their Children and how Parents ought in correcting their Children to follow the Example of our Heavenly Father Parents must be careful not to oppose one another when they c●rrect and reprove their Children 4. They must carefully improve the Time of their Childrens Sickness or of any other afflictions they meet with towards the making of them wiser and better 5. They must daily pray to God for them Against those who curse their Children † The Blessing of the Father Establisheth the Houses of Children but the Curse of the Mother rooteth out Foundations Ecelus 3. 9. * See Augustin de Civ Dei l. 22. c. ●8 Plato de legg l. 34. dial 11. 1. Motive from the Divine Command 2. Motive from its being a work worthy of the utmost care and pains of Parents 3. Motive from the Rewards which attend those who faithfully do these things 4. Motive from the great Benefit which comes both to Church and State by the good Education of Children * See Plutarch in Lycurgo Heraclid de Politiis Xenophon paed Cyr. lib. 1. 5. Mo●ive from the s●d Effects which attend the neglect of these Duties * Augustin To. 10. Ser. 33. 〈◊〉 Fratres in Eremo 1. Duty it belongs to the Mother to give suck to her Children * Aulus Gellius lib. 12. cap. 1. See likewise Plutarch de Educ 2. Duty about Childrens Diet. 3. Duty about Childrens Apparel 1. Duty to chuse a fit Trade for them * See Plut. in Solone ●dvice to those who have great Estates and Riches to bestow on their Children * 'T was excellently said by Agefilans King of ●acedemon We must teach Children what they should do when they are Men. * Plutarch de Educat * Antigonus used this as an Argument to induce Zeno the Philosopher to come to him You may said he be well assured that by teaching and instructing me you will at the same time instruct all the Macedonians For he who contributes towards the making the King of Macedon a Virtuous Person does in great measu●● disp se all his Subjects for Virtuous Impressions For such as Rulers and Princes be such likewise ordinarily are they who depend upon the●● Diog. Laert. in Zenone Advice to those who intend to set apart one or more of their Children for the Holy Ministry 2. Duty about disposing of them in Marriage * Callias the Athenian was highly commended by the Greeks because he gave his Daughters leave to chuse what Husbands themselves liked best Herodot in Erato * Plut. in Themistocle * The sad Effects of marrying very leud and profligate Persons 3. Duty about providing somewhat that may be the foundation of their comfortable subsistance in the World Great Prudence and Caution ought to be used in bestowing their Worldly Goods on their Children 4. Duty to have their Will and Testament in Readiness The great Inconvenience of delay in this matter Great care to be taken in the choice of Guardians for Children * 'T was an Athenian Law that they should not be chose● Guardians who have a right to the Childrens Estate after their Decease Diog. Laert. in Solo●e 1. They ought to consider that it is the Lord who does it 2. They ought to consider that their Children were born mortal 3. They should consider from whence and whither they are gone 4. They should consider that there will be a Resurrection 5. They should consider that their giving way to excessive Grief and Mourning can do no good but will certainly do a great deal of hurt The Duty of Parents on their Death-Bed 1. Duty to give their Children good Advice 2. Duty to pray to God for them 3. Duty to commend them to some Faithful Friends Concerning the Duties of Step-Fathers and Step-Mothers or Fathers and Mothers in Law Some Motives to stir them up to do their Duty The Duties of Guardians Some Motives to excite Guardians to do their Duty Prayers for the Morning and Evening to be used in Families * Or Evening * Or the past day † O● this night * If there be Brothers and Sisters let them pray for them likewise * Here they may make a particular Confession of their Sins * If there be any Brothers or Sisters he may pray for them and for Grandfather and Grandmother if they be alive

M Vendor ●ucht scul Printed for J Taylor J. Eueringham A NEW Family-Book OR THE True Interest OF FAMILIES BEING Directions to Parents and Children and to those who are instead of Parents shewing them their several DUTIES and how they may be Happy in one another Together with several PRAYERS for Families and Children and GRACES before and after Meat To which is annexed a DISCOURSE about the Right Way of Improving our TIME By JAMES KIRKWOOD Rector of Astwick in Bedfordshire With a Preface by Dr. Horneck The Second Edition Corrected and much Enlarged LONDON Printed for J. Taylor at the Ship-in St. Paul's Church-Yard and J. Everingham at the Star in Ludgate-Street 1693. To my Honoured Friend and Patron Thomas Brown of Arlsey Esq and to Mrs. Mary Brown his Wife ALL who have a right Sense of Things and understand but a little of the State of Religion in the World cannot but see and lament the great decay thereof every where amongst us Atheism and Irreligion are become too much in fashion and have too many Votaries and Followers It has not been known in any Age that such sort of Men or rather Monsters for Man is too Honourable a Name for them have been so numerous so daring and impudent and so successful Who could imagine that in a Christian State there should be such Persons who are at great pains to propagate Atheism and to run down if they were able our most Holy Religion As the neglect of Educating Children aright contributes too much to this degeneracy so the most likely Remedy of this dangerous and spreading Distemper is a due care in Parents and others who have the Charge of Children to train them up in the Knowledge Fear and Love of God To do what in them lies to fortifie their Minds against those Snares and Temptations to which they are exposed and to shine before them in the Practice of sincere Piety themselves Tho' too many on whom God has bestowed Children are so far from doing their Duty for their Souls that they corrupt and utterly ruin them which one of the Ancients calls a greater Cruelty than if they killed their Bodies Yet blessed be God there are some who consider it as their main Business with Relation to their Children to make them wise and good Lovers of God and Haters of every Evil Thing Amongst those who are governed by this Religious Principle God hath made you my most Honoured Friends great Patterns As he hath blessed you with a numerous offspring so he hath given you of the Wisdom from above to know how to Train them up in Piety and Virtue The happy mixture of Kindness and Severity which you use towards them makes them not only to stand in awe of you but to love you I might be allowed on this occasion to say somewhat in Commendation of those Excellent Qualities which God has blessed you with and which appear not only in your way and manner of Educating your Children but in other things likewise The many and great Expressions of your kindness for me ever since I had the Honour to be known to you require the most publick Testimony of my grateful Resentment thereof But 't is one of your Virtues that you chuse rather to be concealed than to make any great noise in the World I shall therefore restrain my self from what otherwise not only Gratitude but the great and just Esteem and Affection I have for you do mightily tempt me unto And shall conclude this Address with my Prayers to God for you That he would increase his Grace in you more and more that you may abound in all the Fruits of Righteousness and true Holiness until you obtain the End of your Faith the Salvation of your Souls I am Tour most Affectionate Friend and most Faithful Servant James Kirkwood THE PREFACE THE Author of the ensuing Treatise having thought fit to recommend his Papers to my perusal I was willing to usher them into the World with some remarks upon his pious design The Welfare of a Common Wealth doth in a great measure depend upon the Duties of the Relatives here treated of and did Parents and Children conscientiously discharge all the Ob●igations incumbent upon them by the Law of God and Nature the World could not be so wicked as it is Education makes the first impressions upon the Souls of Men and were care taken that the Ground be impregnated with good Seed such a Harvest might be expected from it that Posterity might be the better for it I am sensible that Conversation and the Humour of the Age is apt to make strange alterations in the Principles we imb●be yet something will stick and when the thoughts are cool and Men come to reflect the Principles they have learned when the wax was soft will recoil and oblige them to return to their Duty Of this we have experience and though there is no Rule so general but admits of exceptions yet it 's enough that this effect doth frequently appear which is no inconsiderable Motive to the serious consideration of a thing of this importance It was a wise answer which one of the LXXII Interpreters gave to Ptolemaeus Philadelphus who asked him what was the greatest negligence The neglect saith he of the good Education of Children It is so and the hurt that 's done by it both to them and to the Publick is unspeakable Whence is it that there are so many Prodigals that so many come to an untimely end that so many run into excesses which destroy both Soul and Body From want of pious Education It was a severe Censure which Carneades the Philosopher passed upon the Children of Rich Men that they learned nothing but to ride well Indeed it is to be wondered that Rational Creatures should be so careful to breed up their Progeny to sensuality and neglect the cultivation of that which makes them differ from Bruits and shews they are Creatures of a nobler extract Can any thing be more reasonable than Virtue and the fear of God Is not this it which both Scripture and Philosophy teaches Do not we our selves confess so much and do not most Men acknowledge it when they come to dye And yet that we should make this the least part of our care in the Education of Youth is wondrous strange Some seem to fancy that sending their Children to School or to teach them their Catechism is all the Care that is incumbent upon them Though I cannot say but that this is a Duty yet it is so imperfect that I can scarce honour it with the Title of doing it by halves it being but the beginning or the least part of it Instruction Precept and Example are the mighty Engines and Instruments in the promoting and accomplishing this Work and perhaps nothing hath a greater influence than Example for all the Moral Precepts of the Parents are like Water spilt upon the Ground where Example doth not concomitate the instruction How

from Church 66 Why the Lord's Day ought to be kept 67 Children are to be possessed with a great regard for the Ministers of the Gospel 68 7. Duty to make them understand their Baptismal Covenant 73 8. Duty to encourage them to come to the Lord's Table 77 9. Duty to take care that they accustom themselves to self-Examination 79 10. Duty to observe what Providences they meet with and to acquaint them therewith in due time as also with some of the most remarkable Providences which either they to wit the Parents themselves or others have met with 86 Some Directions to Parents how to render their Endeavours effectual 95 1. They must give their Children good Example 95 2. They must chuse good Company for them 98 The great Danger that Children are in from Flatterers 99 Advice to those who send their Children abroad to travel 102 3. They must as need requires reprove and chasten their Children and how 106 Parents ought in correcting their Children to follow the Example of our Heavenly Father 111 Parents must be careful not to oppose one another when they correct and reprove their Children 112 4. They must carefully improve the Time of their Childrens Sickness or of any other Afflictions they meet with towards the making of them wiser and better 113 5. They must daily pray to God for them 115 Against those who curse their Children 118 Some Motives to excite Parents to do these things 1. Motive from the Divine Command 120 2. Motive from its being a work worthy of the utmost care and pains of Parents 122 3. Motive from the Rewards which attend those who faithfully do these things 123 4. Motive from the great Benefit which comes both to Church and State by the good Education of Children 127 5. Motive from the sad Effects which attend the neglect of these Duties 135 PART II. The Duties of Parents as to their Childrens Bodies 1. DVty it belongs to the Mother to give suck to her Children 141 2. Duty about Childrens Diet. 145 3. Duty about Childrens Apparel 146 The Duty of Parents as to the outward Estate of their Children 1. Duty to chuse a fit Trade for them 148 Advice to those who have great Estates and Riches to bestow on their Children 150 Advice to those who intend to set apart one or more of their Children for the Holy Ministry 157 2. Duty about disposing of them in Marriage 162 The sad Effects of Marrying very leud and profligate Persons 164 3. Duty about providing somewhat that may be the foundation of their comfortable subsistance in the World 167 Great Prudence and Caution ought to be used in bestowing their Worldly Goods on their Children 172 4. Duty to have their Will and Testament in Readiness 174 The great Inconvenience of delay in this matter 174 Great care to be taken in the choice of Guardians for Children 178 The above mentioned particulars earnestly recommended to Parents 180 Concerning the Duty of Parents when God removeth their Children by Death 1. They ought to consider that it is the Lord who does it 187 2. They ought to consider that their Children were born mortal 189 3. They should consider from whence and whither they are gone 197 4. They should consider that there will be a Resurrection 202 5. They should consider that their giving way to excessive Grief and Mourning can do no good but will certainly do a great deal of hurt 205 The Duty of Parents on their Death-Bed 209 1. Duty to give their Children good Advice 210 2. Duty to pray to God for them 212 3. Duty to commend them to some Faithful Friends 212 Concerning the Duties of Step-Fathers and Step-Mothers 214 Some Motives to stir them up to do their Duty 218 The Duties of Guardians 223 Some Motives to excite Guardians to do their Duty 225 A Morning Prayer for Parents or Masters of Families with their Family 232 An Evening Prayer for Parents or Masters of Families with their Family 237 A short Prayer for the Morning or Evening when through Extraordinary Occasions there is not time for the other 242 A Prayer to be taught Children when hey begin to speak 245 A Prayer for Children when they come to be four or five Years old 246 A Prayer for Children when they come to twelve or fourteen years of Age sooner or later according to the ripeness of their understanding 247 Grace before Meat 251 After Meat 252 ERRATA PAg. 16. line 26. read intelligible p. 22. l. 22. for when r. whom p. 44. l. 9. r. infallibly p. 45. l. 2. for having r. have p. 68. l. 22. r. Ministrations p. 87. l. 24. r. stir up p. 97. l. 22. r. And besides the influence p. 101. l. 21. r. Attia p. 126. l. 12 r. lustre p. 154. l. 1. r. of p. 159. l. 13. point thus early and late to be p. 178. l. 7. for are r. is p. 187. l. 25. point thus sees fit He is the great Potter and. p. 193. l. 28. for hath r. had p. 215. l. 1 point thus account They. p. 238. l. 4. point thus Counsels and despised As to some other mistakes in the Printing they will not much hinder the Reader ERRATA in Advice to Children PAg. 3. l. 18. r. Disposition p. 9. l. 12 and 13. r. tho Canaan l. 29. for ye r. thee p. 29. l. 16. for Cat r. Cock p. 114. l. 5. r. Servant p. 139. l. 4. r. hath called p. 150. l. 15. and 16. r. according ADVICE TO PARENTS PART I. IT has been always reckoned by the best and Wisest men a thing absolutely necessary towards a Reformation in the World to begin with the Instruction and Education of Children those of elder Years being ordinarily so rooted and hardned in their sinful habits that for the most part there 's very little can be done to reform them and make them better So sensible were some ancient States of this that they made particular Laws for Educating Children thinking it too great a Trust to leave it altogether in the Power of Parents to train up their Children according to their Humour and Fancy Amongst Christians there are few restraints upon Parents in most Countries it being in their Power to Educate their Children as they think good It is therefore of no small Importance for them to know what their Duty is that they may approve themselves to God in doing whatever he requires towards their Children for their Souls their Bodies and their outward Estate The Design of this Treatise is to furnish those who want such helps with some plain and easie Directions that they may know how to act the Part of Christian Parents First while Children are yet in the Womb it is the Duty of Parents to endeavour to bring their mind to an indifferency as to the Sex which shall be born not to prescribe to God by their impatient desires and their bold asking of him a Child of this or that Sex but to leave it entirely